136) Personal Growth by Facing Fears

1/11/11

For this experience, I had moved to the couch as usual, and had much difficulty getting into my meditative state of mind to relax. With a busy past few weeks, I had not had the time to put much effort into meditation and mind relaxation, and this may have impacted my OBE.

After continued attempts, I was thrilled to feel slight vibrations and willed them to become stronger. It did, but I could not sustain that higher level. I was disappointed to think I might not be able to travel. Soon after though, I found myself in an ‘odd’ state of mind, not really sure if I was awake or asleep!

Having learned never to question what’s going on and just take advantage of any ‘confusion’ as to my status, I decided I’d just roll out and see what happened. I couldn’t roll, and after a few attempts, I gave up and said I must be awake, so I just stood up.

I could feel my ‘physicalness’, even to the point where I was removing the blanket off my body and dropping it to the floor! Something was different though, as my head felt very odd…almost as if I was in two places at once. There was this pressure in my head that gave me enough consideration that maybe I could be OOB despite how it felt! (In hindsight, I’m wondering if perhaps I wasn’t fully ‘out’)

I started walking to the front door, knowing that if I AM OOB that I’d be able to move right through it. I remember having the concern that I was going to hit the door hard with my physical body if I was not, so I put my arm out so it wouldn’t hurt so badly!

I was thrilled to feel the ‘crackle’ of the texture change as I passed through the door, to find myself on my front step. It was dark and I still did not feel in much control and slightly confused. I affirmed ‘clarity now!’ a few times, and finally something came into view.

I saw water flooding the area in my front yard, and now more confident of my status, knew I could just walk on the water to move. (*What is interesting to note here, is that I had just recently thought about how the mind is able to effect what seems to be impossible tasks for the physical body – specifically the idea of walking through fire and on water as noted in many religious texts*)

After enjoying the ability to ‘walk on water’, I then realized I don’t even need to walk, I could fly! I fly skyward and quickly found myself in another environment.

I am now in an area with lots of people, no one familiar, going about their daily business. I’m following a group around, talking (but cannot recall about what!), moving through the various rooms. At one point, I told the group that I could fly and they didn’t believe me! They were very emphatic that I was not going to be able to do so, and their determination gave me increased concerns that maybe I really wasn’t! Because of their strong beliefs, I recall having a difficult time remembering that I WAS OOB and knew I could!

To prove my point, I found some stone stairs that went up to another level overlooking where the group of people stood waiting. I was feeling a bit apprehensive, but somehow knew I was OOB. (I do think that I had enough awareness to remember that if I questioned my status even a little bit, that I am always OOB!) That gave me enough courage to just jump…and was thrilled to find myself flying a short distance, drifting gently down to where they stood. They were astounded at my ability to do this! I reveled in my success, exclaiming, See, I told you! I can fly!”

I found I couldn’t really control the flying as I can sometimes do, but it was enough to verify that I was still OOB and visiting these individuals. The only other recollection after this was being asked to help take down some hanging ‘decorations’(?) that hung high above their area ( since they knew I could fly now!) I immediately flew up, took them down, and returned them to the man in charge of the tour. It was while I was up high gathering the decorations that I noticed the ceiling of this area was dome shaped, hence the reason I recorded this as a ‘cave’ initially.

Just before I left that area, I saw my ex-husband in another section and we had some personal discussion that made me feel he understood what all had to happen in our lives and that it was ”meant to be that way” but he was still working out his own issues with how to cope with it.

It was after this that I was aware enough to know I have to get this recorded before I forget, so I took out my recorder, and was surprised to see the screen starting showing all these funny numbers and Chinese like characters on the backlit panel. Having just changed the batteries prior to bed, I thought initially, “Oh no, it is broken!” Then realizing that this is likely a false awakening (as I have had this same ‘broken recorder’ theme multiple times in OBE endings) , I feel myself ‘snap to’ a lighter state where I thought I was now wide awake and proceeded to record (or so I thought so!)

I was quite surprised when immediately I felt someone coming up to the couch, where I am now sitting upright. The atmosphere felt much different than the previous environment, very ‘realistic’ and very physical.

Looking up, I saw my sister crying uncontrollably, and I felt sadness that I had not been a bigger part of her life, that there were things I should have done and didn’t. On my left, I see my younger brother move toward me, again feeling upset and concerned with some personal feelings, and without any time to think, my daughter comes in front of me! She is also sharing some feelings and concerns that go to a personal level and I cannot share here, but the general feeling I am having is sadness and distress that things could not have been done differently in our lives.

Surprisingly, another woman then accompanies my daughter, standing in front of other woman came up talking to me, I’m not really afraid of her but feeling quite concerned. She had a strong forceful presence, and at one point feel her grab my hand tightly. I was insistent that she tell me who she is, asking over and over, “who are you?” My daughter and her both were saying something like they are trying to ‘make me better’ and I felt so many emotions…. fear, sadness, regret, anger…but all at the same time!

Realizing I was not making the situation better, I remembered to just ‘let go’ of all attachments and current emotions. At this point the woman faded away, and I turned to my daughter and asked, “who was that?” I recorded that she gave me a name, but I had no recall as to the specific name only that it was someone she knew from “high school” (?). (It was only after waking did I remember that maybe it would have been a different ending had I ‘sent love’ instead of just letting go….)

For more background on this experience, I had just read in Jurgen Ziewe’s book, Multidimension Man, about his encounters with a Master and learning to overcome his fears while OOB, especially the fear of death. Jurgen had to obtain the proper mindset to face a doorway with daggers in order to move out of this room he was in. I remember thinking as I read this part of the book, that this fear of dying while OOB is an especially hard lesson to learn. But it is when you DO know that you CANNOT be harmed, and can take that confidence with you, you are able to move through to other areas where you learn more about yourself.

I am now thinking that this last part of the OBE, as it was a more personal experience that I could relate to with family issues, was more for my own learning benefit, to face those feelings that I fear most, and to learn to let go of them.

Addendum: MANY THANKS to Kerry for her beautifully designed pictures that offer a visual perspective to my experience! Outstanding work!

135) Multidimensional Man correlation in OBE

I am happy to report that my ‘dry spell’ for the past few weeks has started to dissipate!! I was a bit concerned that there was minimal to no activity when attempting to travel, even with my dream content! It is frustrating but as with all things ‘not of this world’, there can be unknown variables that influence my lack of activity for one reason or another. I just have to accept that this is what is best for me and keep trying.

I thought I would focus back on my reading material, as that always seems to have a great effect on my recall while OOB, hoping that if I did get out, I would remember what I read. I chose a book written by a long time experienced astral traveler, Jurgen Ziewe, called Multi-dimensional Man. It was recommended to me a while ago and I never had the time to start reading it until now.

To make a long story short, I sure wish I had read this back when the dry spell started!! There are a lot of similar experiences that he encounters that I can relate to on a deep level, and I am only half way through the book! I think I shall write another post later about this great book after I am finished with it and maybe discuss how it compares with my experiences (although I do not have the awesome lucidity and control that he has!)

Meanwhile to get back to my OOB experience from this morning, what you need to know is that he mentioned a few events in his travels that correlated directly with what I experienced this time. He mentions once being aware of meeting people in his sleep clothes, and then to realize he was naked! I remember while reading that I was impressed with his ability to shrug off this experience and continue on with the travels without returning to body.

Another mention he gave was that he would actually STOP and take the time to ‘clear up’ his mind when events started to fade or falter, sometimes just by focusing on his hands. I know in my haste to get on with my travels, I never really take the time to stop and focus, which I did impress as an intention prior to this OBE. He also mentioned how he would just ‘jump high’ to verify he was OOB at any point he was unsure of his status. I know it was reading this book before bed that gave me the focus and control I needed for this experience.

The experience begins with the memory of an exit that just ‘happened’. I remember lying on my traveling couch feeling frustrated with whatever ‘dream event’ was going on, yet knowing I was on the couch. I decided to just get up off the couch to get away from whatever was so frustrating. I found myself easily moving to an upright standing position, but then realized my living room was completely different than it should be. This gave me the awareness that I was actually OOB!

I was in long hallway and could see a familiar building a distance away that I wanted to go into. Moving toward the building, the entire environment started to fade and ‘fuzz’, giving me the feeling I was going to go back to body. I remembered at this time that I wanted to stop and focus on becoming clearer but also focus on my hands as Jurgen did. I was amazed at how easily everything turned back into sharp focus and I proceeded on.

The events of this OBE are very limited to a degree, as I know I did many things in many rooms of this building, meeting many different people. I knew I had been to this building many times before, as it was where I attended various ‘seminars’ to learn and it had a ‘vacation’ type feeling to it. However, there was not total lucidity of being OOB, and some ‘dream events’, such as the need for luggage and clothes, remained part of the experience. I should have known I was OOB, but fell easily into the ‘life-like’ events that occurred at times.

There were only a few experiences amid the many I had that I can clearly recall for posting here. The first was the realization that I was scheduled for a seminar that should have started, but found that my suitcase was not delivered yet! As I moved toward the room where the seminar was, I realized I was wearing only my sleep clothes and felt I could not continue on to the seminar where my peers were. I remember I did feel comfortable enough to continue with my quest to find the suitcase, knowing that Jurgen had done the same. I can remember asking someone, “Am I missing all the seminars?”

The other recall I had was as I walked into this one hallway, I was amazed to see a floor to ceiling mirror on the wall. Even more amazing, I could SEE myself reflected back clearly and accurately!! I was fascinated at the detail of my reflection, and how perfect the reflection was for my current physical status. (I had a previous blog posts - #96 and #126 - where my mirror reflection was either a younger me, or changed in some other way)

While looking at myself, I had doubts of actually being OOB, as it was so real. I remembered again reading about Jurgen doing a little ‘jump’ to verify his status, and did so. I floated high and knew I was still out! I did a little ‘back flip’ in slow motion, just because I knew I could! It was such fun!

A woman came by and asked what I was doing, and I showed her my slow backflip saying, “Why don’t you try it too?!” I showed her and was aghast to see her try to do the same, only to watch her fall flat on her face! I felt awful, helped her up and apologized. Despite this distressing event, she offered to help me find my suitcase, and I remember I was taken to an area where I had to pick my blue suitcase out of the myriad of suitcases that were being unloaded.

She accompanied me as I found myself then on the way up to my room to get dressed. Near the stairs to go up, I noticed some broken pieces of jewelry on the floor. Thinking someone would want this, I started to pick up the broken pieces of necklace, but whomever I was with said to just leave it alone. I continue to pick the pieces up, but soon realized that there was a lot more to this clean up than I thought and had leave it alone as she requested.

There were two other events I recall in limited detail, one that included my brother sleeping in a bedroom and the gentleman I was with trying to wake him. This was after we walked through an area that he had just finished for someone, with painting of zoo animals as a theme in all the rooms, including a walk in closet.

A final recall had to do what likely is an event related to a concern I have in physical, where I was concerned about a task that I was assigned to do, but knew I was not going to have the time to do it right and needed to have someone else take it over. I know I felt much relieved when the man I was with offered to take over my job responsibilities for this matter.

This is all I can recall of my OOB experience, but the happiness I feel knowing I was able to get out again is thrilling! Even though I wasn’t lucid enough to maintain awareness with all events, many times just going along with whatever was happening without much control, I am happy to know that my reading and re-focus on my OOB travels is working.

I am eager now to finish reading this great book, and hoping to have many more experiences that correlate with his fascinating travels. With Jurgen’s travels as a role model for me, I intend now to take more time to focus on maintaining clear awareness and my own lucid control when OOB.

134) Limited Control, Extending with Spin, Content in the Astral Life

11/30/10

This latest OBE was a bit disappointing for me, especially after the wonderful clarity and focus I had with the last one. I have to admit, it is likely due to the fact that I am just getting over a viral illness and am not in the best of condition yet. But I wanted to travel again, and so I affirmed and intended to do so, hoping to meet with someone to either help or learn from them.

As always, I know I received my request, as I have the vague recall of meeting many people and interacting with them in many way, however, the greatest recall I have is when I was reviewing all the events thinking I was actually recording, only to discover upon full consciousness that I really did not and most of the memories dissipated quickly from my awareness!

Some memories remained, however, and those I will share. It is so frustrating though to know that there was more to these experiences, yet I can’t pull them out of my deep subconscious. I am comforted, however, somehow knowing that I have learned what I needed to learn with them.

As I’m lying on the couch, I am aware of the light vibrations. I try to will them to become stronger, as they seem too erratic and not fully encompassing my body. Finally I feel my hands and arms begin to float and try to roll out. It is so difficult and I find I can’t move.

I realize my kitten is once again sleeping on my stomach! I can feel her weight, yet I can feel my arms floating! It takes much effort and intention to try to move out, and I then find myself on my knees facing my body on the couch with my upper torso still attached. I can’t see, I can barely move, and I’m getting quite frustrated. I try ‘clarity now!’ a few times, with little effect.

For whatever reason, I decide that in order to get away from my body I must just affirm ‘to the door!’ with strong intention, and that does the trick. I move quickly now to the side door, feeling the different furniture as I pass through them on the way. I feel the doors as I exit as there is such limited ‘sight’ this time. I can tell where I am as I move by ‘feel’ alone.

Once outside, I ‘feel’ the light, and then with another ‘clarity now!’ I barely begin to perceive the trees that line my property. Moving slowing up toward the tree tops, I just want to get away and begin my adventure, but feel so thick, fuzzy, and without much control – quite the opposite of my last outing!

Up high, I stop, trying to remember where it was that I wanted to go when I got out, and turned to head to my parent’s house next door, not remembering what it was I wanted to do. As I started to move again, things faded quickly and I knew I was going to back to my body.

I was in enough control, however, to know that I did NOT want to go back already! As I faded back, I tried to do a little ‘spin’, as I have read that you can extend your stay out of body by doing so. It has worked before and so this time, once again, it worked!

I now find myself in this room full of other people, talking and interacting…and here is where the majority of memories were lost. The only memory I have remaining had to do with me figuring out how to use some ‘high-tech’ phone to call for some pizza!

Now, my next memory was finding myself standing next to my sleeping body in my living room, again not wanting to return. I get the feeling that ‘someone’ is nearby, so I yell out, “Is anyone here? I want to talk.” I can ‘hear’ my voice reverberating in the blackness, and it sounds so different.

Faintly in the distance, I think I hear an answer. I holler out again, “Can anyone hear me? Does anyone want to talk to me?” and now I hear a small child’s voice answer me. I move toward the voice, down my hallway and it turns into an area that is now unfamiliar to me.

I keep talking, “I’m here, let me talk to you”, and at times I hear my voice sounding very slow, almost ‘growl-like’ which nearly frightens me. I am not happy with this contact as I’m not sure whom I’m talking to or why my own voice is sounding so strange.

Despite the small degree of fear, I keep moving toward the faint voice, as it doesn’t sound fearful and I find myself next to a small spiral staircase. Looking up the stairs, I see only the feet of a small child running up the stairs, laughing.

Playfully, I charge up the stairs after him, shouting “Where are you? I’m going to get you!” in a most playful and laughing manner. He remains always just out of my reach until I get to the top, where I then scoop up this young boy of about 2-3 years of age with dark hair, saying, “I got you!”

Interesting to note, I recorded some detail about a reference to a “Moses” remark made here, but I have no idea how it fits into this story. My feeling was that this remark was not going to be one that would be well accepted by many people (whatever that means!)

I carry him down the stairs to find I am in a room where the child must live with his family, as I see a man and woman and another smaller child. It is a slightly cluttered and disheveled home, with various objects lying around.

I put the boy down and he runs to his parents (I assume) and for the most part, they do not pay much attention to me. I am interested as to who they are and what they are doing here. The father is the one who talks to me, as the woman continues to go about her business taking care of the children.

They are a younger couple, approximate age 30, and he is of trim build with shoulder length blond hair. I could see that he worked as a mechanic, as there were indications of tools and car parts in a room nearby. I always wonder if I am supposed to help those I meet ‘move on’ to other worlds or assist them to learn more about themselves.

I don’t always think to ask names, but I did ask, “So what’s your story?” or “What’s going on with you?” (These are paraphrases as I truly don’t think I ‘talk’ when there, but this is the idea of what I am asking without actual words.)

He seems to know exactly what I mean, and answers me with the essence of “Oh, you’re from that Earth place. I tried that life once and I didn’t like it, people take advantage of you. It was much too hard. Here you can have anything you want. It’s so much better here.”

I knew from what he was saying that he was happy with his situation here, despite all appearances that it was nothing glorious or outwardly wealthy, it sufficed for his needs and he was content with all that he had.

There was no need to help him move on, and for his own personal development I knew it was not necessary to help him in any way as he was content with his life, very happy with what he had, and that is all we can ever wish for anyone.

ADDENDUM: IMO, in the astral, thoughts manifest quickly as things and you can live the life that you wish. That is what he meant and why he was content.

Here in physical life, thoughts still manifest as things, however, with the lower slower vibration of physical life, it takes time and focused effort. There is no 'time' (or little time - depending of degree of vibration) in other realms therefore, easier manifestation.

When you travel in the astral, you learn quickly how easily 'thoughts' manifest and that control of your thoughts are the key to any experience. You 'talk' with your thoughts, 'move' with your thoughts, and overcome self-generated 'fear' with your thoughts. There is no form, no time, no space. There is only energy and vibration and it depends on your learned ability to use personal thought energy and soul vibration to manipulate your environment.

133) Re-learning Affirmations and Control

Well, I am rather excited about this latest OOBE as I realized that had drifted away from using my original OOB technique with immediate affirmations once exiting my body in the excitement to be out of body and get flying again!

When I first started my OOB experiences a few years ago, I loved the affirmations and techniques described by William Buhlman in his first two books, Adventures Beyond the Body and The Secret of the Soul. I originally used the affirmations all the time as he suggested, yet over the years as I became more comfortable navigating the astral environment, I seemed to have stopped using them as much.

In listening to Mr. Buhlman’s latest CD set recently, which was a great review and offered more ‘personal’ guidance with vocal instructions, it also impressed upon me that this important aspect of using affirmations in my travels has been missing! You will note that I frequently said I ‘lost recall’ or didn’t have ‘clear vision’ in many of my more recent travels.

This time, however, I INTENDED to do (and did!) just as he recommends, with affirmations of ‘Clarity now!’ as soon as I exited, and then “to my Higher Self” for my own personal learning, as well as “I will remember all!” affirmation just prior to ending.

I am pleased with the result, which adds to my excitement to know there is so much more for me to learn and experience now that I can control my environment better! In the beginning these affirmations gave me the basic stability I needed to get a few tasks done as I was not accustomed to seeing how to move about and use my thoughts and intentions. Now, in resuming the use of affirmations again with my more experienced knowledge of the astral environment, I am astounded that my ability to navigate the realm is even greater!

So, with the experience, I moved to my ‘traveling couch’ after a few hours of sleep. Using my visualization technique along with repeated affirmations of intending to get OOB, I drifted off to a light sleep.

I become aware of a slight buzzing and get excited to know I’m about to get out again! Being careful not to let the excitement dampen the vibrations, I lay quietly and became aware of a floating sensation. This is my signal that I’m ready to ‘roll out’ so just rolled on my side and stood by the couch.

Immediately, I remembered I wanted to use ‘Clarity now!’ and stated so, with an immediate improvement of my visual surroundings! My living room became in perfect focus, I then stated ‘Awareness now!’ which I felt made my thoughts and intentions even more crisp and focused.

I did not feel that ‘urgency’ to move quickly away from my body as I usually do because I did not feel that ‘tug’ back to body. I turned and affirmed ‘to the door!’ and found myself floating slowly to the door, in perfect clear thought and vision, and was truly amazed at the ‘reality’ of it all.

I even remember thinking, as I neared the front door, that it sure appeared to look just like the solid wooden door that it really is and that maybe I’ll need to open it first! But my thoughts were clear enough to know that I was truly OOB, and so I just continued to move directly through the door without pausing!

Once outdoors and still thinking so clearly, I remembered I wanted to affirm, “to my Higher Self!” to see if I could do some personal learning. Immediately I was taken to an area of complete blackness, a sensation of ‘nothingness’ and nothing with form anywhere to be found. I was floating but still thinking so clearly! I heard the most beautiful music and felt such peace and happiness, and was trying to think exactly what type of instrument could be making such beautiful sounds when I felt that slight transition as if I was going back to body!

I was disappointed to find myself back on the couch, but then realized I still had a slight tingle of a vibrations happening! It was truly an unusual sensation, as I clearly felt the ‘solidity’ of the couch and even the pressure of my little kitten that climbed up to sit squarely on top of my stomach!

However, since the vibrations persisted and I did not move, I soon felt my arms and legs floating again! Thrilled to know I could once again get out, I dropped my legs over the side of the couch and found myself standing looking at my ‘sleeping’ body…with the kitten on top!

Once again I remembered to affirm, “Clarity now!” and then “Awareness now!”, and with both affirmations, the room became clearer and my thoughts became more lucid. I was truly amazed at the level of control I felt I had, and repeated, ‘to the door!’ once again.

As I exited through the door, I could see the row of tress that line my front yard. Looking up at the tops, I affirm, ‘to the tree tops’ and start moving slowly and gently toward them. However, instead of the tree tops, I found myself within now within a forest of trees and with unfamiliar surroundings, remember that I want to go ‘to my Higher Self!’

Upon affirming my intention to seek my Higher Self, I once again find I am complete blackness, but again with the most beautiful music playing! This time it feels as though I’m sliding down something, backwards on my back, but having such fun doing so! It is peaceful, joyous, fun, and so beautiful to be here and I’m smiling and happy!

As I slide, I now feel ‘hands’ or some sort of ‘energy pulsations’ all along both sides of my back. I feel excited knowing it’s there, but I’m not very clear on why or what it was. I do remember at one point I had to say ‘ouch’ as the intensity of the ‘pulsation’ in the center of my back became a bit much.

My next memory was the transitioning of the pull-back to body, and I was clearly focused enough to even remember to affirm, “I will remember all!” over and over. As this was a two-part OBE with my return to body and quick exit again, I knew it was going to be difficult to recall much when I did not have a chance to record after my first exit!

So, although there wasn’t much to remember once I went ‘to my Higher Self’, the greatest part of this experience for me was the absolute clarity of thought and intention that I had within it. I just can’t even begin to explain how ‘real’ it is, to know you ARE out of body and in such perfect control!!

I’m so glad I was given the opportunity to hear once again from Mr. Buhlman himself in his new CDs how important is it to do these affirmations. Reviewing these past practices and applying them anew to my current experiences adds such a deep degree of learning for me! Thank you again, Mr. Buhlman!

Gateway blog post #2 - Fear and the OBE

Just wanted to share with everyone that another post at the Gateway blog was just put up that offers some of my techniques and dealing with fear. I know much of this is already posted here on my blog, but in case you haven't found it here, you can check out this link.
Fear and the OBE

132) Learning that Practice Makes Perfect, Intention is Everything

11/7/10

I have not posted much lately as the few short experiences I have had were not cohesive enough to post in a fashion where they could make much sense for others to read. This experience is one that I have had after a few weeks of having to focus on ‘real life’ events and not consciously working with my ‘reality checks’ and dream recall as closely as I have in the past.

What I am finding is that continuous practice is a requirement for fully focused and clear headed OOB experiences. It seems I have regressed a bit in my ability to move about in the astral, allowing the lack of practice for doing reality checks and affirmations to hinder my ‘conscious’ abilities. However, since I feel this may reinforce the need for returning to my usual practices, I’m still sharing what I remember and how different it felt.

After moving to my ‘traveling couch’ and using my energy visualizations and affirmations as my body drifted off to ‘sleep’, my mind worked to stay aware and I planned what I would want to do when I got OOB this time. I remember thinking I would like to try to move through my front door this time, as the last few experiences have always been through the side door. I also affirmed that I would like to ‘help someone’ as I always do, but also I wanted meet up with a special friend as well.

In hindsight, I feel I did achieve these goals, however, my helping someone is just a ‘feeling’ I am left with as I have with no specific recall, and I did meet with ‘friends’ but just not the one I intended.

I first became aware of loud noises, a sure signal that I’m about to get out. It was a type of ‘white noise’ but then changed into loud music above my head as well as voices all around. At the same time, the vibrations started with an intense tingling all over, and I became a bit excited to think I’m about to get out! I could barely wait for the vibrations to stop and I eagerly tried to sit up and move out as they were still happening!

I did find myself up out of body standing next to my couch. I knew it had been a while since I have had such clear vision upon first exit, and was excited to take note of how ‘real’ my surroundings appeared. The living room furniture was exactly as it should be and I even remembered that I wanted to be sure to exit through the front door this time.

I tried to move away from my body, as that is always a strong memory that I must move away to feel better. This time, though, instead of becoming clearer, I felt I was becoming heavier and ‘thicker’ as I moved away. I thought that maybe I should just stay in this ‘near physical’ surroundings and take note of what the difference is.

I stopped by the chairs as I felt unsteady and put out my hand to touch them, and was surprised to see that I could actually feel their ‘solidness’! Not seeing much difference in looking around and still feeling unsteady, I became eager to get outdoors to fly again, so I focused on the front door.

What is interesting is that once I was at the front door, I knew immediately that I didn’t have to do anything but move through it. However, as I moved through it, I felt so solid and ‘thick’, almost as if I was ‘squeezing’ myself though!

Once I looked out, I realized it was no longer my house, but another room I was exiting that was high above some rolling hills and countryside. I was not afraid, knowing that I was OOB and could not be hurt, and because it was so hard to get through the door, I actually wanted to just pull myself over the edge and free fall, hoping it would ‘kick start’ my flying!

As I squeezed through, I looked back taking note of thickness of the walls and the unusual siding on this building. Finally finding myself in a very slow free fall, I attempted to fly. I was so disappointed to find that my flying abilities were greatly stunted! I couldn’t go fast or high, and gently floated down to an area where there where children running around and playing.

I remember trying desperately to run and jump in an attempt to fly, finding I was only rising a few feet off the ground then floating gently back down. The children came around, and I could see it was the back yard of a well kept but older house. Two older females were there, but it was the children whom I interacted with the most.

The feeling I am left with after waking is that something ‘important’ was done, but all I can recall is the part where I was playing with them so anxiously trying to get my flying started!! It seems that this lack of flying abilities is the only full memory recall I have as I was so focused on it, although I know there was more that I accomplished with the children.

The only other part I remember in this scene is thinking I could possibly get higher to fly again if I climbed on the back on the one of the children. Thinking better of this idea, I then turned to the one boy next to me and asked him to cup his hands together so that I could step up into his hands and he could catapult me high enough to fly!

I remember doing so, and found myself once again barely clearing a wall that had appeared next to us. Again, I knew I could just free fall over the edge without fear in hopes that the falling sensation would help me regain my flying abilities.

I was disheartened to find that I only floated gently down into another scene, but this one with many people milling around in a very social and party type atmosphere. I recognized many friends, both those who are currently still in physical life and those who have passed. I greeted them enthusiastically, feeling so happy and joyous at whatever celebration we were having it for!

What I remember most from this second scene was that unlike the prior one, this was all adults with no children, and I felt so uninhibited and joyous that I was able to thoroughly enjoy myself by entertaining the others. I didn’t care that I was being funny or silly as I just wanted to make these people laugh and feel as good as I did. I was doing all these exaggerated motions and actions, and totally enjoying being the ‘life of the party’!!

There was one man there I remember from my younger years that I had a secret crush on….and went directly up to him and gave him such a big kiss! I didn’t care what others thought, and he offered a humorous remark that made me laugh. I didn’t even worry about my lack of flying abilities and just enjoyed the happiness and love that exuded from everyone.

I then felt that transition that told me I was about to ‘wake up’ and quickly tried to recall the details of my adventure. I know I remembered many details (more than I have here) but when I tried to take out my recorder, I saw that I pulled out my cell phone instead and it was busy playing a video documentary about someone else’s OBE. I wondered why I had that instead of my recorder, and with that realization, knew that this was a ‘false awakening’.

I worked harder to pull myself out a bit more, trying to keep the details of the experience intact with my mnemonics and backward recall. Unfortunately, as with most of my latest experiences, as soon as I returned to ‘full wakefulness’ and actually turned on my recorder, the details fled from my recall.

I believe that due to my lack of ‘intention’ during waking life with my ongoing reality checks and reading of OBE material, my ability to retain ‘consciousness’ and clear thinking is not as good as when I was doing it regularly. I was so focused on wanting to fly again that I didn’t take the time to stop and think consciously why and what I was doing. I just interacted unconsciously with whomever I encountered and got pulled into the action that was happening.

My clear thinking was only in the very beginning when I knew that I wanted to take note of my near physical surroundings and when I knew how I wanted to exit the house. After that, my intention to fly again became dominant and so I lost any ability to retain ‘consciousness’ within the OBE.

131) Sending Love; Meeting Astral Residents; Lucid Dream Transition to OBE

10/6/10 Sending Love; Meeting Astral Residents

Lying on my couch in my usual routine to attempt an OOBE, I initially become aware of an intense pressure in my chest area. Not sure what this was, I knew enough to just ‘let go’ and let things happen, and the pressure changed into what felt like an intense hug, or someone holding me tight.

My first rational thoughts are “oh, it must be my husband trying to wake me to get back to bed” as I knew it was the middle of the night. The pressure then became even more intense, and I tried to pull away, worried that I couldn’t release this increasing pushing or pressure.

Realizing somehow that I needed to maintain control and not create fear, I used my previous learning to ‘send love’ to this fear/pressure. I remember saying, “I love you”, and the pressure lightened and released to what felt like a light touch of a hand.

Now I realize I’m sitting upright on the couch and there is someone sitting next to me! I have enough clarity of mind to realize I’m OOB and turn to this person to ask “who are you?” He answers, but the name is garbled, and I have to say, “I’m sorry, I have a hard time understanding you as I’m new to this type of communication” and he said his name again, but I still didn’t comprehend.

I turned to face him, wanting to get a good long look at him so I would be able to remember what he looked like. It was a young boy of about 16 or 17, handsome, average build, with short dark wavy hair.

He was distressed and wanted to talk about his ‘girl’ and how things just didn’t work out the way they were supposed to. I don’t remember details, but I had the feeling he was emotionally tied to this girl and needed some help in letting go.

I sat talking with him, and soon realized another man appeared behind the couch to speak with us, also talking about his wife and sharing his views on how he coped with similar issues. (I have no idea if this was an astral helper who came to assist the boy to move on, or something else, but I felt my work there was done)

It was at this point I realized I was fully OOB and in my living room, so I moved easily and quickly to the dining room. I remember thinking as I ‘walked’ to the side door, “hey, I don’t need to walk! I can just ‘intend’ and be there!” – which I did!!

This time (unlike the last OBE in previous post) I had absolutely no difficulty at all moving through the door and flying up to the trees!! I was so thoroughly enjoying the freedom of flying once again, flipping and swooping in a carefree way!

I flew next door to my parent’s house, and remember seeing my brother and a young child in front of the house near the road, but do not remember why they were there or what I did with them.

As I flew to the other side of the house, I saw large tents erected on the hill next to their house and noticed it was starting to rain very hard. (This is where ‘real life’ and astral landscapes combine at times to give you the illusion you are ‘just dreaming’ – but it’s just the way the astral realm works) At this time, I questioned if I was ‘still OOB’, so I did a few forward no-hand flips perfectly which assured me I WAS still OOB (as this is an impossible feat for me in real life!! lol)

Somehow I knew there were families living in these tents, and I saw one family with two young children and a baby trying to sleep, curled up under the tent with nothing to lie on except the grass. Coming closer, I could see the infant was lying in a puddle of rainwater! I was aghast and said ‘you can’t sleep here! I can’t have the baby lying in water!’ I felt we had to get the baby out of the water and told everyone to come over to my house.

I moved back to my house, but found the scene transitioned to some interactions I had with a few nurses that I used to work with and their concern with a medication they needed to have a proper dosage for. At this point, there were no further memories of how the experience ended.

When I did awaken sufficiently to record my memories, I felt as if I had been in a very deep sleep and it took a lot of ‘backward recall’ to even get these memories to record.

10/11/10 Lucid Dream to OBE Transition

This next experience was interesting in that I remembered to use a ‘reality check’ to become aware within a dream that is mentioned in the Lucid Dreaming book I am reading (see blog #129).

For some background information, I awoke about 2am and was concerned that my husband had not come home from a meeting and was worried. Having contacted him and assured of his whereabouts, I fell back asleep.

I found myself in a middle of a dream, one with much activity going on and many people doing different things. I asked someone, ‘what time is it?’ as they wanted me to do something and I felt there wasn’t much time left to do whatever it was to be done.

They told me it was just 8pm but I knew it had to be after 2am since I remembered I was awake earlier at 2am! I told them I didn’t have time to do what they wanted me to do, and continued to argue with them as they kept assuring me it was only 8pm and there was plenty of time to do what we had to do!

I then became clear enough to realize, ‘hey wait, let me look at a clock’, remembering that if I look at a digital clock once, then look again, and see two different times, then I’d know I was OOB! (I’m thinking here that something already gave me a ‘hint’ I might be dreaming, to do this.)

I turned and looked at the clock on the TV and it fuzzily said 10 something, then glanced away and looked back. Now it said 7 something! “That’s the cue!” I said, “that’s the cue I can use to know I am OOB! I am out! I am out!” and then affirmed ‘clarity now!’ as I pulled back and floated up.

I found myself moving up out of the busy scene below me, flying free and taking control. I remembered they tried to get me to stay, but I wanted to do more. I remember being very high, looking back down at the room below me…and then lost whatever memories I had after that! I awoke with only the recall of this lucid dream to OBE transition, which is likely the major lesson I was to take from this experience.

130) Perfect Clarity Upon Exit; Seeing my Astral Form; Becoming Dense

9/12/10

In this OBE, my first recall was hearing beautiful music and I knew by the magnificent melody that I was ready to roll out. I start to roll, but realized I could clearly see my soft white ethereal arms as they floated above my body! I then pulled up my legs and watched as they separated and formed a perfect replica of my physical body in clear white form.

I was completely amazed with this exit, as I had never been able to see astral parts of my body with such clarity and detail. The entire outline form was visible, not the fuzzy wavy appearance that sometimes happens OOB. I could actually watch myself lift my legs out of body and moved to roll out. I found myself looking intently at the perfect white form I now was as I stood next to my sleeping body.

Somehow it felt so ‘different’ so I took the time to look around to see why it ‘felt’ so unusual. I was amazed at the complete and total clarity that I had had viewing my room. The detail of everything was amazing but more surprisingly, realized I could now see everything all around me all at once! I have found myself standing by my sleeping body before, but this time it seemed different in that no matter where I looked, there was such clear ‘vision’ in all directions. I remember thinking, “so this is what people talk about seeing themselves while OOB!” I marveled at myself in its new ‘form’ and found I could easily move so effortlessly about the room.

I moved into the dining area heading for the side door but my recall is very limited here. My only memory is that I knew I wanted to ‘help someone’ in my adventure. Was I talking to someone? Or perhaps it is possible that I felt I wasn’t doing much except really, really enjoying such a unique experience with this different ‘feeling’ of clarity and focus but then I also knew that I should do more.

Moving to the side door, I pushed hard to get out but could not easily transition through the door as I usually do. With extra determination, and affirming my “knowing” that I could get out, I then ‘popped’ through to my porch.

Looking out to my front yard, I noticed a truck with two men at the edge of my property that is adjacent to a very old cemetery. Did the pop make a transition to a lucid dream? Or was this now someone I was supposed to help?

Alongside the cemetery fence, next to my driveway, I could see where a large tree that had fallen. There were two men working who were cutting it up, and my impression was they were clearing the old fallen tree while preparing to plant pots of small pine trees in its place.

I went over to interact, but realized they couldn’t see me at first. I seem to remember there was snow on the ground, but then later realized it was gone. I went up one man, as I knew he couldn’t see me, and tried to touch him to get his attention.

I was shocked to realize he could somehow ‘sense’ I was there! He couldn’t ‘see’ me but I knew by ‘hearing’ his thoughts that he thought it was someone else with him. He pulled at my arm, and I realized I was becoming ‘denser’ as he said something about “not now, Gloria(?), but I want to be with you too”. I try to pull my hand away, surprised at the heaviness and loss of energy that I suddenly felt.

The other man there then spoke to me, as I am now sitting next to the two remaining pots of pine trees that needed to be planted. He said directly to me, “are you going to be able to finish these?” They were huge pots of dirt with young pine trees in them, and I remember sarcastically remarking, “well, I guess I have to since you are both getting ready to leave!”

Looking back at my house, I knew I had to get back inside, but I felt so heavy with such a loss of clarity and energy! I knew I was still OOB, as I recall using the ‘cue’ of seeing some wall decorations inside my house that were slightly different but also the same (?). (Of course I didn’t think twice of using the ‘cue’ that I could see through the walls in the house!) I also knew I could make myself ‘wake up’ from this experience here, but that it would be less ‘hard/painful’(?) if I could get myself back into the house where my physical body was sleeping.

So I’m trying to will myself to ‘float’ back into the house, and while I’m doing so, I’m also thinking that I read on an OBE forum about how one can ‘lose energy’ and become heavier and more dense, and realized this could be why I’m having such a difficult time dragging myself back to the house. I’m remembering that Claudia mentioned such things as the superb clarity upon exiting, the loss of energy after being out too long, and the fact that I couldn’t be seen until I became more ‘dense’. (Claudia, I don’t know if you really ever mentioned these things, but I DO know it was your name that came up!)

Now the experience becomes a bit more of a ‘dream-like’ feeling, as I try to climb up into a carriage that is to take me home. My brothers were there (both still in physical) and the older one flew past in a helicopter as he told me to play the numbers that pertained to the word “CAN’T” (?).

I remember my other brother was trying to help figure out which numbers this represented, and I thought “well C=3, A=1, N=12” and then he interrupted, “no, N=15”! I argued by saying, “no, you have to add it together!” and then became frustrated and said, “oh we’ll just check with him and see what he wants”.

Unfortunately, this is where the experience ends, as I awoke and quickly recorded the details that I could remember. It took a long time of trying to ‘settle back’ into the experience to get the beginning memories, but slowly they returned. Using the backward recall method works best, as you work backwards from the end to what led you to that experience. It takes time and effort, and if you don’t do it as soon as you awaken, you will not be able to pull many of the beginning memories back.

Guest post on Gateway blog - Personal Experiences

Just a quick post here to let everyone who is following my posts that I was asked to do a 'guest posting' on the Gateway Experience blog!! It's a synopsis of my experiences to date as an introduction to who I am and what I have done, as well as a means to direct others to my blog experiences.

I am truly honored to be asked to write this, and moreso to know that others will read my experiences and learn to do what I have done. I am thrilled to think that my efforts here have contributed to the learning and development of other spiritually aware individuals who seek to learn more about the world(s) around us.

This journey we have chosen for this lifetime is unique to each one of us, however, IMO, it is the sharing and merging of our knowledge and experiences that will enable us to reach higher and higher levels of development during our short time here.

Please check out my post there and visit their site. It's full of information for those who seek to know!

Click here - Personal Experiences

Thoughts on Lucid Dreaming vs OBEs

I just thought I'd add another short post to keep everyone informed as to my thoughts on this new task I have undertaken where I am now trying to make even my 'routine dreams' into lucid ones and then transform them into OOBE's or APs....

As one who frequently gets OOB, I realize now that there is a difference between being able to start from the 'climbing out' stage into an OBE and learning to make my 'regular' dreams more lucid to change them into OOBEs. It's interesting to see how these 'dream signs' or signals are so prevalent in our nightly dreams, but we never take advantage of them because somehow we just 'accept' them as normal.

Night before last I had vivid dreams of different situations that I should have been able to become lucid with, but somehow just accepted the events as 'normal' and kept dreaming. Those memories are easily recalled as just 'dreams' - as I did not become lucid to move into a controlled event.

Again last night I had a dream in which there were unusual events happening but never caught on that I was dreaming until I saw my EX-husband in my home, adamantly claiming he belonged there. At this point, I KNEW this was not true, and was able to 'let go' of whatever situation I was in and move onto other tasks.

The problem now is that my 'wakefulness' after such a transitional dream is not the same as the 'pull back' during an OBE, and hence I lose recall quickly as there is no 'time' to use key words to remember as I do with OOBEs. This is a bit frustrating, but I know with time, it shall improve!

Thanks to everyone for reading these posts and those who email to tell me how much they enjoy my blog. It truly makes my efforts to keep this going easier!

129) Learning to become lucid with signals

9/5/10

To give a little background, I am currently reading a book about lucid dreaming that, despite my familiarly with doing so, teaches me more about how to ‘become aware’ while dreaming. The author talks about ‘dream signs’, which I call ‘signals’, and in reviewing my account below, realize that there were many, many signals that I did not pick up on. This makes it more likely, IMO, that should certain repeated signals occur anytime again, I should hopefully transition my awareness to the fact that I am within a dream and can take control!

My first recollection as I lie on the couch, thinking I was still awake, was of my dog Buddy (who has recently passed over to the other side) coming up to me as I lie there, nudging my face and licking me excitedly!! I was thrilled to see him again, and thought nothing of the fact that despite petting him, feeling him, and hearing him, I could not see him!

In hindsight as I write this, I cannot clearly recall any type of visual image of him, but am absolutely certain he was with me! It is amazing to think that your consciousness can ‘register’ this as an ‘otherwordly visit’ as I knew it was, yet not realize I was just as ‘otherwordly’ ( as in OOB!) so that I could know he was there! It was processed as a ‘normal’ event to have him here, and I got up to play with him in my living room.

The room appeared just as it does now, and I frolicked and played with him, so happy he was here. I had a ball that I rolled to him and he returned it just as easily. During this time, as Buddy faded away, I was standing in the living room wondering what time it was. I looked at the clock on the TV, and realized it was not working (possible signal). Another clock nearby said it was 7am and I knew it couldn’t be that late!(possible signal)

I heard my husband call down from upstairs asking me to bring up the camera (as I assumed at the time the new kitten we recently got was doing something cute). I was a bit frustrated to think that my time to sleep was over and I was not going to get OOB tonight. There was someone else with me in the room, a younger person, yet I didn’t think this was unusual at all! (possible signal)

At this point, I look around the living room, and start to wonder maybe this COULD be a dream! There was nothing specific that caused me to realize this, but once I did, something told me that there just might be more to this situation than I’m realizing!

I take a good hard look around the room, and I take notice how ‘real’ everything looks. It’s perfectly in order, and I have a strong sense of ‘reality’ and that things are just as they should be. However, SOMEthing is causing me to question my ‘reality’, and therefore, once that happens, I know that I have to take a chance that I am dreaming!

I move quickly to the side door, knowing full well that if I should happen to be in ‘real life’ reality, I will just hit the door with a thud. But, for some reason, I knew there was a chance I could be actually OOB so I continued without much thought of consequences. (Key point – you can’t analyze any situation, you just have to go and do if there is ANY question of your ‘reality’ state – because you know if you are in ‘real life’ reality, there is NO question of it!)

Since I wasn’t completely sure of my status until I passed easily through the side door, I was AMAZED to find myself now KNOWING that I WAS OOB! My full awareness of my freedom made me so happy, and I flew up to the tree tops, gliding and swooping in my usual playful manner.

I remember saying over and over, ‘its so nice to not be afraid! I’m not afraid of anything!’ and doing all sorts of handstands and flips, with my feet over my head and then finding children gathered around me joining in the fun! At one point, I did recall that I questioned what was it that I wanted to do when I got out? But I was SO happy enjoying the freedom that I didn’t pursue it further.

I moved to an area where there was a sharp drop off over a hill, and just kept flying over it, diving down the side of the hill knowing I could not be hurt and there was no reason to fear anything! As I came up, I saw other people nearby, but saw they were all yelling and running away from something.

Without fear, I went to investigate, and saw that a wild boar was running along side of a building, heading for a huge central lake where everyone was gathered. As the people ran away, I aimed directly for the boar as he jumped in, again knowing there was no fear of injury.

I gathered it in my arms, pat it softly and gently calmed the animal down. Others now came up to me and surrounded us, and as I watched, the wild boar turned into a type of ‘cast iron piggybank’!! I recall saying, ‘good, now they can keep this safely in their room’ as it was no longer a threat to them.

It was at that point I woke and recorded as much information as I could remember. In reviewing this account, there were many times I should have picked up on a ‘dream sign’ or signal, yet I know with continued practice, I shall be able to become more lucid more often and turn more of my ‘dreams’ into a full OOBs.

ADDENDUM: I am sharing the title of the book I am reading here, as I find out it's practically considered the 'bible' of lucid dreaming!! If you haven't read it, you must! It offers great insight and techniques on becoming lucid within a dream, from which you can then take over and take control!! The book is "Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming" by Stephen LaBerge and Howard Rheingold.

128) Seeing Buddy again; Dream image transitions

7.29.10

This OOBE was a series of exits and as I recorded them, I realized I could remember more and more bits of earlier information that then helped to pull it all together. This backward recall works great for picking up details when my ‘signal words’ may not be enough.

For this experience, however, I need to give a little background regarding recent events in my life. I have had a loving pet for the past 13 years, a black lab named Buddy whom you might remember has traveled with me in a few of my experiences.

He recently took a turn for the worst and despite our best efforts, we had to make the decision to euthanize him. It was a difficult decision, but in looking into his eyes, I knew he was suffering and this had to be done. He passed peacefully to the other side with us at his side, and over the past few weeks, I have since wondered if he would be able to let me know he was ok. You will see that I got my answer…and am happy to report that he’s happy!

I moved to my ‘traveling couch’ after a few hours sleep, without a clear intention to seek Buddy, but always with those thoughts on my mind during waking hours.

My first awareness that I was out of body was after realizing I was ‘dreaming’ and somehow I knew I could just ‘move out’ and found myself heading for the front door, without any memory of ‘rolling out’. However, I find it’s difficult and heavy to move, and push hard to keep moving.

Once outside I take off flying, and despite still feeling sluggish, find myself up high in the dark sky looking off in the distance to a series of ‘stars’ or lights. It appears to be something in the shape of Texas (the state) and the words “Texas (something)” impressed in my memory. (However, you can see that it didn’t really stay impressed in my memory very well! Lol)

I started to fade back and remember saying, ‘oh no! I want to stay out!’ and then tried to ‘will myself’ back into the experience. I must have been successful because I found myself once again in a hallway near my front door and trying sluggishly to get out! However, on my right, a doorway appears and I go through it. I am disappointed to just find more hallways, some with blue and yellow walls.

I said, ‘I want out!’ and so I push hard to move through these halls, finally deciding to go right through the side of the wall to the outside! I pushed so hard with my back to try to get out, that my feet went up and over and I tumbled out into a free fall. Now it’s dark, and I think, ‘why can’t I see?’ A random scene I remember at some point was being told that I need to ‘control my urges better’ so I can ‘keep my coat on’ (?) This is what I recorded, but the feeling I had was this was a classroom sort of experience and that I needed to learn to ‘buckle down’ in order to learn properly.

Next I recall something about a female interacting with me from up high on my left, as if she was on a rooftop or ledge, talking. During our talk, something gave me the awareness that I was ‘dreaming’, and I remember thinking, ‘hey, let me try talking directly to her’ so I actually interrupt her to ask, ‘who are you?’ She stopped, and gave me a one word answer (Carol?) but then I didn’t pay much attention because at that point, I realized it was a ‘signal’ that told me I was OOB!

I take off, and start flying again, only to find myself on a bus with a group of people (a musical group or band of sorts) and we were supposed to be on a trip visiting someplace. I remember I had no clothes packed with me (so it told me I wasn’t planning on being here), and we are on this bus in a parking lot outside of a retail store. The bus is not broken down, but there is some problem going on where we have to wait on the bus while others are inside the store getting supplies. This is loud rowdy group of people, and as I walk to the front of the bus, I see a huge wave of water that starts coming out of the store! I think, ‘wow, there must have been a water main break and that’s why they told us not to use the water!’

The scene transitioned back to my living room, only this time, I’m still out of body and heading for the side door. It’s difficult to move, but I notice that there is water all around me! It’s not deep, only up to my knees and I decide to just dive in and swim! I find it much easier to move now in the water, using my arms to move out the door and to the side yard. There is water everywhere, and I’m enjoying the fun of swimming.

I see a big fish in the water swimming ahead of me, thinking the water must be rather dirty to be swimming in, but then looked around and was amazed to see it was kept so clean and clear! I’m thinking that my dog Buddy would have loved to play in this water with me, and that makes me realize I can look for him!!

Up to my left, on the ledge over the water, I am aware of two dogs. The first, bigger dog is an unfamiliar huge chocolate colored curly haired dog that makes me think he is bringing the other dog to me, who has to be Buddy! There is a flash of ‘dark’ light, and the next I knew I was being nuzzled and licked by a very happy Buddy who is doing his usual little ‘happy dance’ and snorting that SO confirmed to me it was him! It was a VERY brief encounter, and my feeling at this time was that it was still ‘early’ in his new role for him to stay much longer.

Although this experience seemed to have a lot of ‘dream imagery’ with multiple exits and scenes that may seem confusing, I am very happy to know that there was an absolute confirmation for me that my Buddy lives on and is happy and content living on the other side where I know I’ll see him again!

127) Spontaneous OBE with learned signals

Well, it seems my experiences are definitely on the upswing for now! I'm sharing what happened just this am...seems like I'm 'geared' now to take even simple 'dreams' and convert them to OOBs when I have the time and make the effort! This caught me off guard, as I had no plans on doing so! :)

7/22/10 8a -9a

This experience was unusual as it was a ‘spontaneous’ OOB that happened this am as I had the luxury of lying in bed for a bit later than usual and just ‘drifting off’ after my initial waking.

It was a ‘dream conversion’ OBE, short as it was, as I had had no intention or plans for getting OOB. This was an interesting experiment, in hindsight, to see how well I have learned to become ‘lucid’ within a dream to take control.

It started with my wading through water, flooded areas (we just had a ton of rain here and I’m sure the video I saw on the news last night brought up this memory). I was in the back fields by home with my brother, and found myself nearly knee deep in water in my good jeans and shoes! (Amazing I could even recall exactly what I was wearing! lol)

Problems arose when I realized I was sinking into the muck and mud underneath, like a quick sand effect. Despite my brother being there (as we are not on good terms right now), I did not want to ask him for help, so looked for help elsewhere.

I found a small patch of dry land with grass, and with much effort, pulled myself free from the enveloping muddy waters.

Then the scene quickly transitioned to my driving a car over a bridge at dusk, knowing more water was underneath me. I remember looking up and seeing a small fish ‘swimming’ ABOVE me over the side of the bridge!! THAT was definitely a signal, as I became very lucid, realizing that I couldn’t possibly be really awake and seeing that!

So I am now continuing to drive the car, knowing I’m likely dreaming, and wondering where am I going? What am I doing? but just not really sure. It’s a very curvy road and I know that if I am NOT OOB, then this could be dangerous. However, armed with that small degree of ‘doubt’, I just took the chance and moved out of the car!

Now, instead of finding myself OOB, I see I am only able to hang out of the car window as it continues to drive! So I decide I AM really OOB, and take advantage of trying some acrobatics while seated on the car! lol I can still remember leaning way over the side, with leg in air and head hanging off the car, absolutely having some fun!

This convinced me I was near OOB and realizing I had to get fully out, so I affirm “to the door! to the door!” but then think that’s strange to say here, as I’m already ‘outdoors’! So I remember that I have to ‘roll out’ of body first!

Things still just ‘felt different’ and I was confused as to what was going on. (Later I realize it likely had to do with the fact that I had not planned on this OOB experience and I was not in my usual position on the couch, but lying in my bed upstairs!)

Not being in my usual spot, I couldn’t figure out how to move or roll out! I rolled to the left, as I always do on the couch, but this time I was unable to move away once out! This confusion as to my new location on the bed next to my body gave me enough confusion to pull back to awareness and awaken fully.

Next time, I’ll be better prepared!

126) Tagging, Doubt signal; Medical MD; Bridge bombing; Mirror

7.18.10

This morning I had a series of OOB exits and experiences, with one exceptionally long and detailed with many activities. However, as per usual, when pulling back to awareness, you are not able to perceive or incorporate many of these details into the physical conscious mind for proper interpretation, IMO.

Regardless, I was able to ‘tag’ a few events and have enough memories of some activities that I shall share here with you. In looking at the length of this post, I’m thinking the readers may be glad I didn’t remember many more details! lol

(Just a reminder, ‘tagging’ of events is what I do to try to retain as much detail as I can while within the OOB as I’m beginning to pull back. I give a one word tag to various events, and as I pull back, repeat these tags over and over in my mind until I can find myself full aware and able to record the event. The tags allow me to ‘fade back’ into the experience once the recorder is on, and I can recall a few more specific details.)

My very first ‘experience’ was a short one, as I am lying on my ‘traveling couch’ in the living room, thinking I’m still wide awake and doing my induction sequences. I hear someone walk into the living room from the bedroom hallway, thinking, “Oh great, my husband is up and I’ll have to get up now.”

However, past experience has taught me well that despite the absolute ‘knowing’ that I hear these steps, I ‘fake’ sleep and continue on. I was not disappointed, as the steps continued over to me as I lie on the couch, then wrap their arms around me and lie on top so that I feel their hug.

Inititally, I had no clue who this could be, as I felt it to be a grown adult, but when she started talking I knew it was my daughter. (Who is currently living 3000 miles from me and still what I consider a young adult!)

She says something about “32” or “42” and that “I still don’t know what I want to do” and then a ‘I love you!” I sent love back to her as I felt her fade away. I awoke fully and recorded this, thinking that this may be a reference to our conversation on the phone a few days ago, and very glad I didn’t awaken myself when hearing the footsteps I felt sure were ‘real’.

I settled back in, and once again after a short while, found myself driving my car on a road near my home, heading home. (You may remember that the ‘car’ is a frequent ‘signal’ for me to know it’s time to get OOB – and it’s a good analogy actually as your physical body is merely the ‘vehicle’ for your consciousness!)

To become ‘aware’ that I’m driving while dreaming, I’ll share a little key element that I use. Any time I am driving, whether in ‘physical’ or dreams, I ask myself, “Is this real?” Now, everyone knows that WITHOUT A DOUBT you are driving your car when you are doing it in the physical. I take note of my ‘reality’ many times as I drive to work, feeling the steering wheel, hearing the noises, and feeling the ‘solidness’ of my being, even looking at my hands to see how they look. I KNOW I am in physical, and there is NO doubt.

Now, I have learned to do this as I drive in the dreams as well, BECAUSE I do it so often as I drive here in physical! So this time, I’m driving my car, and I have that ‘little tiny’ doubt that I just ‘might be’ dreaming, and armed with this knowledge, I now KNOW I can ‘take off’ into an OBE!!

On another forum, I read that looking at your hands can give you the signal that you are dreaming, because there will be a ‘change’ in appearance that you will ‘question’. The key is that if there is ANY degree of doubt, take off and fly!! This goes for any ‘signal’ you have while dreaming, because when in physical, you are certain of your status, but while getting OOB, the smallest ‘doubt’ or ‘unusual’ event can trigger your awareness.

In this particular exit, I also was given a ‘signal’ to give me this ‘doubt’ when I saw an elderly gentleman animatedly talking on a cell phone on the side of the road as I drove past. I recall thinking, “that’s unusual to see such an old man using a cell phone” which immediately clicked in my mind that something was ‘different’. Seeing I was driving, and then having that ‘doubt’ as to whether I really was, was enough for me to just ‘take off’ and move up and out!

Now I let go of the wheel as I pull back and feel the wonderful freedom of flying OOB! It’s been a long time since I have done so, and I remember enjoying it SO much! I could see tall buildings in the distance, and was just having so much fun floating and bobbing…but I was aware enough to know that I had to do something ‘constructive’ while out, but also remember saying, “Oh, just a few more minutes of this, please!”

My next recollection was that I was back on the couch, but ready to ‘roll out’. I am not sure how I knew this, but I just didn’t think about it and rolled. As I’m rolling out, I think again, “just how am I going to know for sure that I’m really out?” and with that, found myself on the floor, on my hands and knees, feeling the coolness of the wooden floor.

Now I KNOW I’m OOB, and start to move away, but it’s so difficult! I can’t seem to fight the tugging sensation that wants me back in body! I pull and pull, without even remembering that my usual “to the door!” affirmation is what works. Finally, I pull hard enough to get to the side of the couch, and realizing I wasn’t going to go further this way, figured, “oh well, I’ll just go ‘inward now!’ to try to move.”

As I intended ‘inward now!’, I spun a little and then felt the floor disappear beneath my hands and became encompassed within total blackness. I felt a floating sensation, and then found myself fading back on the couch to full awareness. I was disappointed that I didn’t go anywhere, but very happy that I was able to get out in the ‘near physical’ once again!

Once again, after recording, I try to get back into the same mind frame with my induction visualizations, this time impressing my memory with the need to use “to the door!” if I am successful.. While I’m doing so, I think I’m still awake when I hear the side door open and my brother walking in (which he often does in physical) and hollering for me, not knowing I’m ‘sleeping’ nearby on the couch.

It sounded SO authentic, as he has done many times, but this time, I decided I’d just ‘pretend’ to be asleep because there was the little tiny degree of ‘doubt’ in my mind as to whether this was real or not. I figured if it was ‘real’, then I’d know for sure in just a few moments!

I didn’t respond to him walking about the room and talking to me, and I recall him saying, “Wow, she must really be deeply asleep because she’s not responding!” Funny thing is, I felt I WAS awake and just wanted to ‘pretend’ for a bit.

Again, as he faded away, somehow I knew that I was ready to get out of body. THIS time I rolled off the couch and when I felt that same tugging, I remembered that pulling doesn’t work and so I turned around with my back to the side door and affirmed, “to the door!” over and over again, remembering my learning from earlier exit.

Now I’m moving backward, quickly, toward the door and am thinking, “when will I get there?” My answer was given as I felt the change as I passed through the wall and into a more ‘open’ and lighter environment.

This is the start of the very long OOB experience that seemed to go on forever. During the different events, I remember thinking, “if I keep going, I’m not going to remember it all!” But a few tagged events are recalled here, and most of them relate to different areas of concern that I am currently encountering in my physical life.

I was in a building with many rooms, and in each room I went in, met different people and encountered different events. One room had a doctor there with a male patient, who appeared to have a ‘bump’ on his nose that was about to be removed. A female was sitting at the side of the patient, with a feeling that she was there more for the doctor’s entertainment than the patient’s welfare.

I moved next to the patient, and the doctor made a remark about ‘oh, I have another one here’ as if he wanted to show off his work. I was appalled when the doctor then talked about how it was this particular patient’s misfortune to need so many surgeries on his skin, yet how happy he was that it paid for all his children’s school tuition! I was upset because I felt he was doing this only for his own benefit, not the welfare of the patient.

There was another event shortly afterward with some unusual events occurring. Keeping with this medical theme, the next I recall was two men (terrorists) who were remarking how easy it is to get into the American medical schools when you are a foreigner. They both were working to set up a tank on this bridge so that it’d shoot directly across. But first, they had to destroy the bridge by placing a bomb on a part they had separated, and then jump back to the piece of bridge with the tank.

When the bomb went off too soon, the tank was unable to keep afloat, and I recall seeing the two men and tank immersed in the water. I remember they had been making fun of the Americans because of how easy it was being a foreigner and taking shortcuts. However, the lesson was that it was because they did not do it the ‘American’ way with the safety checks, that the bomb backfired and they were now getting hurt being in water that was ‘electrically’ charged.
A few bits I recall after this scene involved two American officers, each blaming each other for this event. One said that ‘they told to me to watch for this, and I didn’t’ and the other officer was feeling bad saying ‘no, I should have seen it coming’.

During one of my moves to a room, I recall walking down a hallway and seeing a good friend, Lisa, from my previous work. (She is still in physical body). She was her usual laughing and bubbly self, and I was so happy to see her there! I asked how she was, and as she answered, she told me something I said I had to make note of to remember. But, I have no idea what it was as it was lost in the myriad of experiences here.

I remember one last experience in a different room that was ‘tagged’ to be remembered as I felt it was something I needed to write about. (I can actually remember while in this room that I needed to remember this one, so ‘tagged’ it with a few words).

This was a smaller room, and in looking around, saw that it was piled high and cluttered with lots of miscellaneous stuff, including various costumes and general ‘junk’. I felt it to be ‘my room’ of sorts, and in looking around, found a small mirror on the wall – like those small somewhat distorted locker mirrors you can get. The glass was definitely not clear, but clouded a bit.

When I saw it, I remembered that I had read where others have wondered what happens when you are OOB and look into one. Thinking this would be a great experience to write up, I went over to the mirror and looked at myself.

Seeing no reflection, I said, ‘oh, well that’s interesting, I guess you don’t see anything!’ but then just as I said that, my face appeared. Only my face was distorted, with white wavy “runny” lines around the eyes, and a multitude of ‘spots’ on my face. Noticing my hair was very short in the mirror, I said, ‘oh, that can’t be me because my hair is longer.’ As I said this, my hair in the mirror grew longer, fuller, and thicker each time I glanced at it, and my face began to clear up. I thought, ‘well now, that looks like me and my hair…just look how I can do that!’ amazed at the transformation I saw.

Now I’m beginning to pull back to consciousness, with the fading transition process that I am well used to. Many times this is where I have my ‘false awakenings’, somehow knowing that I’m not fully awake to record.

This time, because I had just had a discussion with someone about the different ‘layering’ of astral realms, I was aware enough to remember that I need to take note of my ‘pull back’ to see what, if any, differences there was in the layers as I become more ‘conscious’.

All I could take note of was that each time I got ‘lighter’ I lost more information about the OBE! The more awake, the more I lost and I felt no real difference between the different ‘layers’ except with my memory recall. This time there was no ‘false awakening’ and so I could not see if that ‘felt’ different than what I experienced here.

This entire experience was over the course of two hours, but it felt SO much longer! There was so much I did, and so much I lost in recall. Thankfully, my ‘tagging’ worked enough to get this much out and I’m hoping I didn’t lose anyone with such a long post!

125) Bits of OOBEs - Crossing over, meeting up, tower view

It has been a few weeks since I’ve been able to have a ‘good’ OBE in the sense that it’s one I can share in any type of story. It seems that last few OOBE have been so ‘deep’ that the memories are more disjointed and haphazard, and upon waking, so fast to disappear that I do not have the ability to recall much of it.

One experience I had recently was one I have had before, so I will share with you what I remember. I was in that ‘half-asleep’ stage, one where I know I am ‘sleeping’ yet aware that something is going on. I hear this very loud roar, and this time it was accompanied by a sudden all encompassing ‘blackness’.

My feeling at this time was as if I was in a car as it was being washed away in a mudslide! It was sudden and felt like an ‘ending’ of some kind, and it was my peaceful acceptance that I was transitioning to the ‘other side’ that I remember the most. I was not fearful nor upset in any way, almost as I knew if this was to be the ‘end’ of my physical existence. In thinking about this, I believe my OOB experiences have given me such a firm belief in the existence of our ‘selves’ after physical death, that even if I find myself ‘transitioning’, whether in dream state or for real, I have absolutely no fear. That is such a powerful feeling to have!

Another recent OBE was very deep and I have only glimpses of recall that don’t make a lot of sense. What I recorded was that it started by talking with someone who had discovered a ‘hole’ in the earth, one that led to a cave-like labyrinth underground. I remember peering into the very deep hole, seeing the different types of ‘rock formations’ and talking with those there.

Next memory is of a man who was not careful by the hole and proceeded to fall in! Thankfully I was able to grasp his arm and bring him back up to solid ground. The next recall was the group of us in the car and there was something unusual that happened in the car that made me become aware that I was OOB. I took off, and remember one male ‘guide’ stayed with me the entire time. Only memories I have are of being in a ‘courtyard’ of sorts, and the medieval type dress that the men were wearing.

The only ‘control’ I remember having was flying up toward the big beautiful moon, knowing I’d like to meet a friend who also loved astronomy, and with a sudden but huge flash of light, knew he was there with me! It lasted very briefly, yet was profound enough to KNOW that it was him! (Correlating later found that my friend also had a ‘hypnogogic’ image of my eyes looking back at him while he was in a meditative mindstate!)

At the very end of this disjointed experience, I recall walking around a ‘flea market’ of some kind, where items are being sold that people no long want to have. A few women came up to me, and gave me some green color trinkets which I appreciated, but then gave them away to another who needed it more.

This was another ‘deep’ experience, IMO, due to the transition back to wakeful consciousness having many ‘levels’. Each time I moved ‘back’ toward wakefulness, I would attempt to record my experiences, but somehow knew I was not ‘awake enough’ to be physically doing it. This happened at least three times before I found myself fully awake enough to actually record this. Each time I ‘thought’ I was recording, more and more memories were lost.

This last OBE was just recently, and again, I knew I was out of body, but wasn’t able to fully control my actions. I was in a 'half-sleep' state, as I could still hear outdoor sounds from the window, when I found myself ‘lifting’ up a tower of some sort. At one point, I became aware my daughter was with me as I was lifting!!!

It was a totally different exit, but I KNEW I was out!! My daughter and I moved up high from the room we were in, holding hands, and found ourselves exiting at the top of a 'tower' like structure. I had wanted to 'show her' something beautiful, and at the very top, she became frightened because we were up so high. We were overlooking a BEAUTIFUL shimmering landscape - I can still recall the lake, rolling hills, and so many vibrant colors!

To ease her fears of going too high, I held onto the 'railing' at the top of the tower to show her we would not go any higher as my other hand still held her. She was amazed at the beauty, as was I...and even more amazing for me, I was astounded at the 360 degree vision I had!! I could see ALL around me without moving or turning!!!

This experience happened very quickly, and all at once...and I recall I returned to body differently too, with this long falling sensation before transitioning to full awareness.