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Saturday, March 21, 2009

100) Sending Love - Successful!

Hi everyone! Things here in 'real life' have been quite busy with some very stressful situations and health concerns over the past few weeks. Experiences have continued, but not to the degree that there is much information that I feel others can learn from.

However, this experience has a few 'new' aspects, so I'm sharing that latest. I welcome any insights, comments, or thoughts!

This experience offered once again more new experiences for me. In retrospect, I feel I have had so much to do and take care of in the past few weeks with my ‘physical life’ that my astral body is trying to compensate by giving me what I need to balance.

Just prior to sleep with this experience, and knowing that I have not had the chance to help others while OOB in a long time, I do recall a brief ‘thought’ that impressed upon mind that this time I just might get my wish. However the difference was, this time they came to me!

I went to my ‘traveling’ couch at 3am per my usual routine. As I’m lying there, I get the typical altered sensations (floating, soft buzzing) that indicates I’m about ready to separate. Instead of just rolling out as usual, I find my legs floating vertical in the air! Now this is common for me as a signal to roll, however, I couldn’t move! I question whether perhaps I really DO have my legs this high, but also realize it just isn’t possible.

While lying there, feeling my legs floating and not able to roll out, I have a sense of someone coming from the kitchen area. I feel slight apprehension, as I see a very strong male (energy) shadow moving toward me, talking animatedly and emphatically, as he towered over my body lying on the couch!

My initial reflexive reaction was to put my hand up to him and said “Stop!”, however upon doing so, immediately knew I should not do that and then said, “I send you love”! He stopped, calmed a bit, and with this success, I also visualized sending loving energy to him, which improved his overall ‘sense’ quite a bit. He was able to talk more coherently to me now, and at the time, I knew what we were discussing but there is no memory now. I only have the impression he was explaining something, and just needed to talk.

He faded out and now I felt the presence of another smaller female, hunched over, next to the couch in the same spot he faded from. It was a much older woman, quiet and non-threatening, and I asked, “what can I help you with?” She mumbled something softly, and the conversation is again not recalled, however I do remember sending her love as well.

She faded after a short time and once again, a very animated, almost agitated, middle-aged female appeared in her place. She was talking loudly and waving her arms about. I recall only scraps of information about our conversation, something about products, and TV, and things she needs or was interested in. Because I had already started sending love with the other two, and with her strong energy appearance, it was easy to calm her down and just talk to her without any concerns or fear.

At some point, she faded, and I became aware of my moving feet. This time I realized I could now roll out! I stood up next to the couch, amazed at the ‘strength’ of solidness I felt! However, I couldn’t move! Once again, I try ‘to the door!’ and when that didn’t work, ‘to the outside!’

Now realizing I could see (usually I’m in darkness initially), my orientation was a bit confused. Although I felt as though I was facing my dining room, it appeared to me that my living room bay window was in front of me! Without questioning my orientation ‘status’ (as it was much more important that I get out, not caring which direction!) I just affirmed, ‘to the outside!’ while looking at the window.

VERY slowly, I begin to move, so I say ‘to the window’, ‘to the outside’ – ANYthing to move! I’m drifting slowly, very slowly….and it feels as though I am not ‘in control’ of this one. So, I just ‘let go’ and remember it doesn’t’ matter where I go out, as long as I get out! Lol

I start to move up to the ceiling, and think, ‘oh this is great!’ as I’ll get to experience the texture changes as I pass through so slowly. Indeed I do, first the ceiling, then the attic area, through the roof and then to the outside – each feeling so different in texture and sensation.

I am moving SOoooo slowly, finally breaking through to the outside, seeing clouds and birds, and even something that I’m not sure what it was while flying (this is what I recorded – very limited memories here).

I am enjoying the drifting and floating, getting so comfortable and relaxed. I even recall knowing I could take part of the cloud to use as a pillow! I was so content and at peace, not really going anywhere, but just enjoying the open expansiveness and peaceful feelings. The sense of freedom and comfort was immense.

When I came back to couch, there was another ‘first’ I can remember doing. I had to actually “turn around” to get into the right position as I’m getting back in body. I somehow knew I had to re-enter differently, but I really don’t know how I knew!

I am aware I have so much to record and am now trying to bring myself awake slowly while trying to find recorder. It’s hard to describe, but I knew I wasn’t awake enough to get it working so I hung onto the memories as much as I could while trying to wake even further. However once I was fully awake to record, I still lost so many memories.

I am find this happening more and more often, with deep memories holding while slowly waking, using attempts to bring them to the surface with signal words, but losing the ‘idea’ behind them as soon as I am fully awake.

As for the shadowing figures, all I needed to do was calm them down and become comfortable with their animated and ‘wild’ energy (that initially scared me slightly). By remembering to send loving thoughts and energy as they spoke to me allowed me to show my understanding of the loving communication process that is difficult to control many times when faced with fear while OOB.

Getting fully out after meeting these individuals was also different in that despite my lack of usual quick determined movements, it was still an enjoyable experience, as the slowness allowed me to fully experience each part of the process. When finally outdoors, the expansiveness and happiness I felt ‘just doing nothing’ I believe was a much needed respite from the extremely stressful and overactive life that I have encountered these past few weeks.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

99) Physical Emotions In OBEs


There has been much turmoil in my life over the past few weeks and as usual, my ability to remember my travels OOB diminishes. I know I am still having my usual frequent exits, however, no matter how I try, the conscious recall of the event fades very quickly when fully awake.

What is interesting is that I can recall trying to remember details while being out with my usual technique of word associations, but every time, once fully awake and back in the ‘real world’, there is no memory left except knowing I was out.

This last experience I am sharing here mainly because I feel it was unusual in my ability to ‘physically’ feel not only texture, but also emotions! Up to this time, I have learned quite well to ‘control’ my emotional responses to anything I encountered, knowing that any extreme emotional response (other than love/happiness) will end my travels. This time, there were physical sensations and emotions that caused even more loss of control and lack of accomplishment within the experience.

There were multiple exits this night, but unfortunately there are few details except for the following. The first time I became aware of my readiness to separate, I easily rolled out, but found myself standing in darkness, barely able to move! I remember calling out for a friend (NJ), in an attempt to move. But for some reason I was immediately back in body, but quickly feeling the readiness to separate sensation.

I rolled out for the second time, and with my “to the door!” affirmation, I started moving but with extreme difficulty! I felt so heavy and so sluggish; I just wanted to get to the door as quickly as possible. I recall seeing my dog Buddy watching me, so I called for him to come with me. I felt concerned and upset for some reason.

It was still dark and I couldn’t see well, so I made a beeline for the front door feeling every texture change as I passed through the different pieces of furniture in my hurry to get outside. (I realize now that with my regular OBEs, I would normally take the usual ‘path’ around the furniture as I do in physical, but this time I was so intent on getting outside, I just moved straight to the door through the furniture!)

Again, I could sharply feel the texture change as I passed through the front door, and I remember standing in my front yard, now feeling the ‘tingle’ of raindrops falling! I recall I was surprised to discover that it was raining!

Suddenly, I found myself back in body, for the third time with the signal to separate. Again, I moved to the front door and outside, still very heavy and barely able to see. This time, I remember feeling the rain drops ‘tingle’ once again, and decided I would try to fly. Again no success with my usual quick take off, so this time I thought maybe I could at least ‘lift and drift’, moving slowly. Thankfully, I was pleased to discover I was lifting gently, but once again, I didn’t get far before finding myself back into body.

I also remember that a few times being out with these first experiences of the night, that I tried desperately to ‘see’ more clearly (as I did not remember to us my ‘Clarity now!’ affirmation.) Instead I remember trying to ‘physically’ open my eyes and I recall that it felt as though I WAS opening them for real! But with the realization that I was seeing ‘too much light’ AND feeling them physically opening, I quickly closed them and continued with the experience.

The last outing of the night began with another ‘false awakening’ that I was at least aware of enough to let it continue. I could hear my stepson and a few of his friends come into the living room directly to the couch where I was sleeping! One sat in the chair next to me, and the others were talking and milling around, paying no attention to me sleeping next to them!

I remember I tried to make a few movements and small noises to let them know I was there (as I am never sure when a false awakening occurs - but felt fairly sure this one was!) One friend even tried to pull the covers off of me, and remember having to grab them back to let them know I was there!

The group moves into the kitchen, and I am rather upset to think the friends were invited over without my knowledge. I realize by now this is definitely a false awakening, and I’m curious so I take this time to easily roll out of body to follow them!

I watched them for a time, while standing outside the kitchen, but then decided I wanted to make contact so I moved into the kitchen and around the lunch counter. I am now trying to make noise to get their attention, and I know I am talking but they are not hearing me!
I recall hearing my ‘voice’, having it sound like a dull “ wah,wah,wah”, and coming out unintelligible.

I realize I am not getting anywhere, I am feeling very frustrated, upset, and unable to think properly. Knowing these are emotions I have to control, I try to send ‘love’, but the best I can muster is ‘gratitude’. (I really don’t know what this means, but that’s what I recorded, so that’s what I’m writing!)

I move back to the dining room area, with the realization I was going to lose the experience, and now feeling quite physically ill and nauseous! Trying to prolong the OOB experience, I tried the little spin and affirmation “to my higher self!” but this spinning only made me more nauseous!!! I have never ever experienced such physical sensations while being OOB before!

I am not sure what is happening with me, so I decide to end the experience intentionally, something else I have never done before! I think directly of my physical body (which was easy since I was feeling such intense physical emotions!) and was able to return quickly.

I know this isn’t much of an experience to share, as I felt was not fully functioning and my emotions seemed to be out of control. However, there were some differences I ‘felt’ from my usual exits, so I thought I’d write this one.

I will share with everyone, however, what I did discover soon after that night’s experiences. That same time that I was OOB, my friend NJ was experiencing some intense emotional upset that I feel I may have somehow picked up on!

There is no way to firmly validate this connection, however, the time and sensations seem to ‘fit’ and since my intention that night was to visit with him, perhaps I shared this turmoil and became more ‘emotional’ and therefore less functioning.