Blog Archive

Thursday, November 27, 2008

86) Black Hole and a Retrieval


Finally, after many unusual OBEs over the past few weeks, I think I have put together some answers as to why I was having these changes. You will remember that my exits have varied, from the lightest, simplest type feelings to the most heavy, cumbersome sensations with difficulty moving and actual physical ‘touch’ sensations.

Last night (this morning actually) it seems I had a chance to help someone who was unable to pass over completely, as another ‘soul retrieval’. I have been asking many times lately for the chance to help others in this capacity once again; similar to the fantastic OBE I had with Stephanie (see #52 in my blog). However, it when it didn’t happen after many requests, I made other plans last night (intention) to go see JP should I get out.

I DO remember, however, having the thought just prior to sleep that since it was Thanksgiving that it WOULD be nice if I could show my gratitude and find someone to help…so I’m wondering if that thought was put there as an indication of what was to happen!

The first exit I recall was an easy exit, one that I knew I could just climb out and move through the door to my bedroom porch. From there I remembered I had wanted to go visit JP this time, and started to drift upward. I was a bit discouraged though to find myself back in bed, waking up!

So I intended again, and became aware of sensations where I thought I might be able to exit. This time, it was the ‘heavy’ exit, and it literally felt as though I was ‘pouring myself’ out of body, off the side of the bed! I was so ‘thick’ that I could not be certain whether I was actually falling off the side of the bed or exiting!! lol

Getting to a standing position next to the bed, I moved to the door, and upon easily passing through it to the porch, it gave me the validation I was indeed OOB. This time, however, I was amazed at the ‘physical’ touch sensations returning, as I clearly felt the railing of the porch under my hands.

In hindsight, I now know that this exit was very close to ‘physical realm’, hence the ability to be OOB yet have tactile senses, which was necessary for the encounter that followed.

I suddenly found myself back in bed, lying on my right side (as I knew I really was), and felt these big strong arms encircling my chest from behind! My mind was reeling at first, not knowing what was going on, as I knew this was NOT my husband! I remember yelling, ‘No!’ and moving away, yet for some reason I didn’t move far.

I heard a male voice say, ‘But we had so much fun the last time!’ and this again sent my mind thinking ‘what is going on here??!’ I was in a state of confusion, and yet remaining calm (as best I could!), and was given the knowledge that something unusual was happening when I then heard this same male voice say in a child-like quality, “but I’m so afraid of falling into that big black hole!”

It was then that I realized someone was here that needed my help, and I instinctively knew it was a mentally challenged older adult male. Apparently I had been with him before, as he remembered the ‘fun’ we had at another time (probably one of those lost recalls I had!)

Now I realized I had to get him to talk to me and open to the possibility of other seeing other ‘people’ to help him to pass over. (His spirit guides who he cannot see due to his belief and fear of the ‘black hole’). I asked, ‘so why are you so afraid of the black hole?’ as I moved to upright position with him next to me in the bedroom.

There was no answer to this question and I knew right away it was not the right approach. So now I say, ‘so how about we play a game?’ and he was much delighted with this idea. I said this game would involved searching for ‘things’ as I wanted him to get into the mode of looking for things he would not usually be receptive to.

I asked, ‘how about we look for a kitty-cat?’ and he said, no, he didn’t like them. So I said, “well, I know you like puppy dogs, so let’s go look for a puppy dog!” His excitement was obvious, so I added one more idea to his thinking by saying, ‘but the game is so much more fun if we had more people to play with us!’

At this time, I distinctly heard a female voice come from the bedroom door area, indicating she was there and wanted to play with us. (In hindsight, this had to have been his guide, waiting for the chance to be seen – but I did not see anyone, just heard her.) I told the man, ‘look, Mary is here, and wants to play with us!’ and we all started the game of searching for the puppy.

What is odd is that during this entire time of interacting with the male, I was in a darkened room with very limited vision, and really just moved about by ‘feel’. I was not able to see him clearly, but I had the feeling he was a tall, lanky, thin male. I never even thought about asking him his name!

The next recall I have is of this male lying contentedly and happily in his bed, very much similar to the way I last saw Stephanie. I moved next to him, stroked his face with my hand, and told him I was going to tell him a story to help him sleep. It was at this time I was able to actually see his face – long thin large-featured face – with a big smile!

I felt myself transitioning back to fully awake as I sat by him, becoming aware I was in my same sleeping position as I started this experience. Realizing what just happened, I was once again taken in by the awesome feeling of joy and happiness that ended this experience, and expressed my extreme gratitude for allowing me to once again be of assistance to someone who needed some help.

To me, this was the best way to spend Thanksgiving Day!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

85) Using Intention for Tactile Awareness; Recording Issues


With the advice that I may be hindering my own experiences by believing I was ‘too stressed’ to do them (thanks, Robot_Butler!), I made a specific attempt to get OOB last night with positive affirmations and beliefs that I could do so! As you will read, it did work (!) although it was only for short excursions, but at least I also had some new learning.

I am on my couch and after my usual induction, realize I am staring at an object in the room yet knew that my eyes were closed. I thought then I must be able to get out, so I just attempted to climb off the couch as if awake, not waiting for any usual signal.

Now I know I am OOB as I felt the very heavy and very strong tugging once again. I fall to the floor, trying to pull away, looking at front door and affirming, “to the door!” I find I am not moving easily, so I turned over to look back at couch and can see the ‘lumps’ of me under the blankets. At that point I was able to move easier to the front door and out to the front step. (Did my ‘mind’ have to see this to believe I was out?)

Outside, I’m thinking of what I wanted to do, thought about visiting JP, but then just started floating up and enjoying the freedom of spirit. I also remember that, despite my strong desire to “flip, fly, and zoom” (lol) once again, I had wanted to do something ‘constructive’ if I got out.

As I’m floating up, I was surprised to hear what sounded like a radio announcer voice (male) coming from behind me. I turned back, saw no one, so I asked “who’s there?” and “does anyone want to talk to me?”

I hear the static-type words in response to my questions, although I could not make out any specific words. I say, “I’m sorry but I can’t understand” and then heard it again, but now in a different position, as if moving away. I decided to follow where the voice was going, even though I had no idea what it was saying. I did ask, “Is it ok if I follow you?” as we moved up higher into the starry sky. Hearing the same static voice response and not knowing if it was ok, I said, “Well, if it’s not ok then just let me go to where it is best for me right now.”

Immediately I felt the usual backward bumpy ride through a long black tunnel and when the moving sensation stopped, I found myself pulled up into this station platform of sorts.

I find myself very much aware of standing on this platform, with a very sharp transition of consciousness. It was very unusual transition, and it felt like I had been there already and just became awake and functional in a new ‘form’.

People were walking back and forth, and I could see the exit beyond. I felt I was supposed to meet someone, so I was hoping they would recognize me and make an attempt to communicate. I made eye contact with a young blond female who smiled, and yet she continued to walk past me.

There was an entirely different ‘feel’ to this area, a very ‘real’ concrete appearance and sensations. My ‘body’ no longer felt the lightness as it did prior to getting here.

With all the new sensations, as well as my concern that no one in particular was going to meet me here, I think I had my ‘real life’ fears of being in a strange place, unassisted and without a means of communication settle in. It was due to these new feelings and subsequent fears that I immediately found myself back in body on the couch, not able to investigate this ‘station’ further.

After recording the last experience, I settled back in for another attempt, thinking I might want to stay in the near physical and visit my mother’s house down the road. The second exit was much easier, again with no clear signal, I just knew when it was time to climb out. This time I felt that strong tugging, but pulling me toward the bedroom hallway, similar to a previous experience. I felt unsteady and was trying to regain control, as I remembered that the last time I went down that hallway my experience ended quickly.

I regained my control and headed out the front window. I aim for my mother’s house, and recall seeing the same trees along the path that are there in real life. I put my arms out to feel the hanging branches, enjoying the texture changes as I passed through them. I stopped, thought that it might be interested to see if I could ‘physically’ touch them, and then made the attempt to shake the limbs.

Looking back toward my house I was amazed that I had the ability to make these branches ‘physically’ move, seeing their response to my intention to move them, despite the fact I was just able to pass through them a moment ago. I realized it was my intention to now move them that gave me the ability to do so.

I continued on to the house but realized it was very early morning (I recall even checking a clock to see what time it was!) Realizing no one will be awake even though I saw a light on, I faded back to full awareness on the couch. In hindsight, I’m sure it was my expectation that no one would be around that stopped this experience.

The third exit this night was different in that I became aware I was recording a previous OBE while riding in a car! I recognized this as ‘not right’ so I started a “running commentary” in my recording as to what I am doing because I knew I was aware that I am ‘dreaming’.

The car moved up a steep hill I recall being near my home, and then as it started rolling down the hill, I knew it was going to roll over and so I took that as a signal for exit to become OOB. I am flying high, heading back toward my mother’s house and can now look down to see my dog Buddy running under me and barking. I holler to him, ‘come on, Buddy!’ hoping to have him join me, but for some reason this time he didn’t.

Once again I can feel the textures as I go through things, and it was very hard to try to remember just what it was that I wanted to do. I then remembered, “oh yeah, go inward now!” as I started to spin to induce it.

I could feel the physical ‘touch’ of things all around me as I spun which was not usual and caught me off guard. I wondered why I could feel these physical sensations and stopped the spinning. Immediately, the experience ended and I felt it may have been due to my concern that I was able to tangibly feel objects around me.

This exit was different in that I found myself using my tape recorder recalling a previous OBE, then realizing it isn’t right so continued taping as I took control.

This led to my last experience where I find I am once again recording another OBE experience I just had, talking through each and every step, only to become fully awake shortly thereafter and realizing nothing has been recorded! All I have for recall of my last exit this night is the fact that I was walking along a fence while recording.

Somehow while recording, I let go of hanging onto what I just did because I ‘knew’ it was being taped, so when I fully awaken, there is no memory. Now I am wondering if the act of recording my experiences is possibly hindering my ability to recall, as it seems to now be incorporated into a ‘false awakening’ of sorts.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

84) Kindness to Undesirables


I have been having some very different types of ‘dreams’ and OBEs lately in the sense that I feel I do not have the control or ability to determine my movements in a pre-planned manner.

I thought since there aren’t any great experiences to report, I would still share a sample of what I am encountering at this time. The past few weeks have been rather upsetting and disconcerting for me, and I know this always plays a role in my OOB experiences, usually in reducing the frequency of exit. However, I know I am still ‘getting out’, but have neither the recall nor the ability to determine my movements as I once did.


I became aware of my signal that I was ready to roll out and attempted to move. It was very difficult to get up out of the body as I had to exit from my side instead of straight up. It was dark once again, feeling blind and heavy, yet I could hear noises clearly. There were conversations and white static type noise drifting in and out.

I knew due to my real life issues that concentrating would be difficult so I had set the intention prior to meet with my guide Richard and ask for his help. While standing there, I remembered to ask, “Richard, where are you?” and immediately received the answer from the other side of the front door, “I am here”. However, it was just too heavy and thick to move and I reentered my body and faded back to being aware.

Shortly thereafter, I exited a second time, but once again had no control. I felt as though I was being pulled backward down the other bedroom hallway (one I have never traveled down before in an OBE). I could feel my arms out to my sides, and the different textures as we passed through the various walls and objects. I could feel the floating and flying sensation, however, it faded to blackness and I have no further recall.

A third time this same night I was aware of being awake and feeling the vibrations start. I was consciously able to increase and decrease their intensity, sometimes to the point of being almost painful. I was not able to exit, but then realized my ‘astral vision’ was opening as I clearly saw ‘into’ the aperture that was opening. I knew I was lying on the couch, looking up into the most beautiful starry sky once again, but through a ‘windshield’ of sorts, that quickly became a canopy of leaves. I knew I was wide awake, in a very light state of consciousness and yet seeing the night sky as it was framed by the gentle sway of leaves on trees.

It was also during this timeframe that I recall seeing my husband and son come into the living room and leaving through the front door, as I felt there had been a fire call they had to respond to (both volunteer firemen). I was astonished later that morning upon talking with him that there was no fire call and that he and my son did not ever leave the house! It had to have been a false awakening and I had no idea!


I am not classifying this experience as dream or OBE, as I just have no idea which it was. Honestly though, I feel there is no difference anyway when it comes to symbolism and meaning. There is always something to learn from both!

I was aware I was in the process of helping some people that needed my assistance. I remember these people were of the ‘homeless, destitute, unkempt’ type individuals and I was giving them a place to stay. For some reason, I had a ‘wig’ I would put on that would make me more ‘like them’ so that I would ‘fit in’ better. (It appeared to me to be a ‘dreadlock’ type wig). For some reason, a few wanted to leave in the middle of the night, and I was busy trying to make sure they would be safe once they left the house.

Next recall I have is that I am in another area and see one of these ‘messy-hair’ men along the way. He is upset that someone had broken his ‘control’ stick so I handed him mine that I knew I had just bought prior to coming. He was most appreciative of my gesture.

I continued on into another room, this one made entirely of cold, dark, dank stone. There was this disheveled young male in there with very dark (makeup-type) circles under his eyes giving him a creepy disturbing image. I remember thinking I should be afraid, yet I had no fear.

I looked around the room and walked to the back corner. Standing there, I was amazed as I watched this light colored jar/jug move on its own closer to me, and then quickly change into a ‘white light’ area on the floor with a saying written inside this area. I am not sure the exact wording but it registered as something akin to ‘loving one another’ or ‘love your neighbor as yourself’ or something to that effect.

As I read it, I acknowledged it as a ‘religious truth’ to live by, and the young man walks up to me. He’s telling me all about how “big this will be” (as he is pointing to the far corner of the room), “it’ll be made all out of chrome”. I said “What will be? What are you making?” and I get the word ‘centomere’ (?sp) or ‘sarcomere’. (I got the feeling it was a closed box of some kind - ?casket-like?)

Not knowing what that is, I ask ‘what is that for?’ and he says, “it’s for your kindness”. I felt so appreciative of this gesture, realizing he wanted to build this in tribute to me and my ‘kindness’. I try to say, ‘oh no, it’s not necessary’ and so on, but I was immediately brought back to full awareness with the feeling that I was not to say this and should allow him to show his appreciation.

In reviewing the recording, the word ‘centomere’ was repeated three times, so I’m assuming that is how it registered to me. I have no idea if such a thing exists, however, in this experience, it did!


My thanks once again for Keith and his research into the 'centromere' and 'chrome' references, as well as it's possible link to 'consciousness'!! Wow, just amazing! Its too much to be 'just a coincidence'!!

Keith wrote:
Concerning the word “centomere” which will be all make out of “chrome,” I’ve been pondering this today. This may have no connection, but I looked up the word “centomere” on google. I didn’t find it; however, I found a word that was spelled quite similar: “centromere.” According to what I read: “A centromere is the constricted region near the center of a human chromosome. This is the region of the chromosome where the two sister chromatids are joined to one another.” I do find it interesting that you noticed a word “centomere” which was to be something build out of chrome for your kindness. There may be no connnection here. However, the word “centromere” is very similar to “centomere,” AND “chromosome” and “chrome” are similar.

I did some further research, and I discovered an article entitled: “Is Centrioles or Centromere the Center of Consciousness?”

Here is the introduction to this article:

Modern day consciousness research is centered around centrioles, an organel that emerges during the cell division and divides and move to the poles, develops spindle fibers that attaches to the centromere of the chromosome to split and pull them to two poles to cause the division. This branch of research was initiated by a brilliant Anesthetist Dr. Stuart Hameroff who teamed with equally brilliant quantum physicist Roger Penrose.

But the question here is centrioles the center of consciousness. A little logical analysis of the process of cell division should tilt our focus from the centrioles to centromere. Let us quickly review the steps involved cell division. . .

Anyway, the article takes off from there and goes on for another 50 plus pages. I’m not a quantum physicist, but the little I read was so fasinating. Again, I may be off on a wild goose chase. At any rate, my own search of “centromeres” has lead me to information on consciousness that I wasn’t aware of before, so thank you for your “hint.”

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

83) Leaving Traces; False Awakening Understanding


I was awakened at 3:33 this am, which told me that something was up. However, in attempting to induce, I found myself unable to relax due to my mind thinking over the events of my personal life right now.

So I got up, did a little work I had neglected lately, and after two hours or so went back to bed. Feeling tired, I remembered all the wonderful emails and posts I received from many of you who responded to my email and forum requests for energy and healing support at this time.

Feeling the strong loving energy surrounding me, I was easily able to relax and fall asleep. My next recall was my usual ‘signal’ – I became aware of a ‘transitioning’ movement sensation, and realized my left leg was floating straight up!

I was excited to think I’d be able to get out and immediately moved to quickly roll out as usual. However, I was SO surprised to see that I was feeling held back in some way, as if I was being told to move S-L-O-W-L-Y. I couldn’t understand at first, but listened to the feeling, especially since I could tell someone was holding onto that left leg and not letting me swing it out off the bed!! LoL

I gently moved the leg back down in place, and then slowly ‘climbed’ straight out of my body! Standing next to the bed I was once again totally amazed at the clarity of this exit, with full vision and stable soft movements. No tugging or pulling, even this close to my body. I vaguely recall that may have even been able to see my own body on the bed, at least my legs! The room was exactly as it should be, and I moved easily to the porch door and out.

Once on the second floor porch, I looked over the railing and was just astounded at the beauty of the back yard and the clarity of vision I had. Looking to the hill on my left, I noticed taillights of a truck going into the back fields (where my son does some hunting) and remarked, ‘oh look, Stephen’s going hunting!’

I moved gently through the rail, even now remembering how it appeared to look down to the driveway below. Floating softly down, I was surprised to see my dog Buddy racing out the same porch door and right through the same railing to catch up with me! (He has accompanied me a few times before in my OOBEs)

On the ground, I take the time to just enjoy the pleasure and peacefulness of being out. I don’t recall exactly what else I did, but I do remember at one point floating up to the top of the pine trees we have in the yard and seeing a vine growing all through its branches.

It was a familiar vine, one that I knew broke off easily, which gave me the idea that I should break off a piece of vine and move it somewhere that I would be able to find after I woke up! I don’t know how I had this thought, as I have never before sought to leave ‘traces’ during an OBE that I would later hope to validate once awake. I left the broken piece of vine in the center of the driveway, thinking it would be noticed there.

I was excited to think I might finally be able to verify my experience with this idea so I went back to get another piece, wanting to place this one in a very obvious place for verification. I broke off another piece and then was distracted by noises coming from the forested area behind me. I thought I heard voices, and felt that I wanted to go see whoever was back there. I threw the vine toward the driveway, not really caring where it went, and took off for the forest.

My recollection ends there, as I became aware again of being back in bed, only to later realize it was a false awakening. In hindsight, I realize that it is my ‘real life’ concerns that play out in these false awakenings, as the issues that occurred are issues I am dealing with currently with my family.

During the false awakening experience, I am aware of my ‘shortcomings’ in how I am handling certain family situations and how I am feeling toward my husband and daughter (this one). I didn’t like the way I felt in the false awakening scenes. However, upon fully awakening, I see that it was all ‘false’ and that it is simply an issue that I need to deal with in real life, as it didn’t really happen. (I hope this makes sense, but I didn’t want to bore you with the family issue details).

I attempted to write down the details of this dream, as my recorder was not handy. As I am writing, I know I am forgetting something. Suddenly, I hear a gunshot from the back fields, and quickly recall that I had seen the taillights going into the back fields at the beginning of the experience! That timing of the gunshot was not by chance, I am sure!

I went outside to the driveway in hopes of maybe finding SOME evidence of my travel this morning; however, there was nothing to be found. However, my son DID call a short while later to let me know it WAS him in the back fields sighting in his guns to get ready for the hunting season that starts in a few days!

Monday, November 10, 2008

82) Symbolic Dream of Busy Life?

This is a first for my blog as I feel this experience is not a full OOB experience, however, the intensity and emotional impact it has left me with leaves me little doubt of it's importance. Therefore, I'm sharing it with you even though it appears to have personal symbolic meaning for my life right now.

As I have found, there is little OOB traveling done when there are many 'life issues' that need to be dealt with leaving little time and energy left for other pursuits. The Universe knows when I need time to focus on work, school, and family and this is one of those times. I know when the 'issues' settle, I'll return to my OOB experiences. I do hope, though, that it will be sooner than later!!

This dream was during a 'refresher' nap I had to take mid-day after being called into work at 3am for an emergency. What is interesting is that I felt the same strong transition upon waking as if awakening from an OBE. I am curious to know if anyone else can understand any of the symbology presented in this dream.

I'm calling it a dream because I have no recall of being 'out', yet I was an integral part of this lucid dream, as it unfolded in short little clips of different segments.

The first recollection I had was that I was watching someone skydiving, and suddenly was aware that there was problem with his chute! It had become tangled in what looked like a large tree trunk (with branches! lol) and he started spinning out of control.

Now, what is interesting is that I then felt like I BECAME this individual, as I could 'see' the spinning sensation of sky/earth/sky and knew I had to stop the spin and stablize the horizon to get my bearing as to what is up and down before attempting to release the stuck cords to the 'tree'. I remember 'hearing' this as HIS thoughts, as though I was within him. I even remember thinking to MYself, as I'm hearing his thoughts, "wow, I'm so impressed he can stay this calm with what is going on!"

Next recollection is watching him land safely, taking those few short steps as if the chute had deployed and the landing was uneventful. However, I 'knew' he had landed nowhere near where he had expected to be, and the few individuals who saw him were quite shocked at his sudden appearance! (I felt it was out west, New Mexico? came to mind, and it was quite flat and dry appearing)

Next segment was of people anxiously waiting outside a building for this man's arrival. There were dignitaries there (as noted by the sashes worn across their chests) and I felt the honoree was some sort of 'veteran'. Their emotions were felt to be of great concern, knowing this man had a problem that few could overcome, and they were saddened to think that he may not have made it through his difficulties. A few people started to walk away in tears, assuming he didn't make it.

The next segment was the MOST emotional for me, as I felt so totally absorbed by the event. I watched (and felt) such elation, joy, and pride as this man was making his entrance into a room full of people who were cheering and overjoyed at his arrival. There was music (I can still hear the drumming, patriotic type tune that made you just want to burst with pride!) and adoration that so encompassed the entire event, that I actually felt overwhelmed.

I slowly became aware of the fact it was a 'dream' as I felt that transition to waking consciousness on a very profound level as well, due to the extreme change in emotional response.

I wish to thank Josh for his insight into one possible meaning for this dream and his encouraging words of support:

Wow, well that is quite a dream. I believe any such experience that provides you with the levels of feelings and emotions you have described should never be ignored. Even just the fact that you were wondering if it meant anything means that it did, at least that how it works for me.

If it was just a dream that was supposed to mean something, I believe your subconscious or your mind would have disregarded it as just that and there would have been no question. I think the real question is, what does it mean?

To me, it seems like this dream could mean a lot of different things. Maybe the person with the parachute problem is supposed to represent you . You are "spinning out of control" with how busy you are. Your personal parachute isn't working, but that isn't stopping you.

You just found another way to "land safely" without your original plan, the parachute. But, you are headstrong, self reliant, and confident. So when you were back on solid ground, you walked away from it as if there was no problem, even though you were in a familiar place.

Maybe the people crying, not thinking you made it, giving you up for lost or dead, maybe that represents anyone in your life (I'm assuming most in your life) that has looked at how your life was going and figured you just weren't going to make it. You weren't going to succeed. They gave you up for lost or dead and began mourning your failure before it even happened.

Then something happens, or happened, where you do succeed, and the people that are around you don't doubt you and celebrate your success. They don't care that you succeeded in an unconventional fasion, they are just happy to see you are where you can be happy.

Of course, this is just one possibility. That can really only work if the person in the dream represented you. It could have represented someone else, or even a force in your life. It's difficult to tell. But if I had to guess at it, that would be my take.

So what you have to do is take a step back, look at the dream for what it represents to you, and see if anything matches. If what I said aboslutely does not match with anything you feel it may mean, then you have to go with your gut instinct, because it is your mind that created the dream, after all. But, if anything I said matches with what may be going on, then that is a two to nothing shot for being what it means.

I believe our minds, our subconscious, unconscious, and souls are very cryptic, but by no means uninterpretable. I believe the only reason for all the symbolism is because it is difficult for something as high as our souls to communicate with something as low as our brains, so it does the best it cans to make sense of the information being processed. It isn't the fault of the mind, it is the fault of the brain.


My 'gut' instinct was telling me it was very symbolic for something relating to my life right now. I feel that despite the apparent 'spinning out of control' I feel right now, that I would once again conquer the difficulties with eventual recognition for my hard work and effort. Josh was able to support many of my own feelings toward this experience, which validates for me the significance of its relationship to my life.

In hindsight, I was even thinking that the 'tree' that my lines were tangled in could have been symbolic of the 'tree of life'!! :) Thanks Josh!

I wanted to add another commentary from Keith that I received that validates the same symbolism that Josh related to in his commentary. In hindsight now, a few days later, I have come to witness this exact 'spinning out of control' and 'releasing of cords' that the dream signified. Little did I know how 'calm and in control' I could be all due to the fact that I knew the ending WILL be happy, but perhaps just not as I expected!

Keith wrote:
You mentioned that your dream of the skydiving man was a very powerful emotional experience for you and that you welcome any insight from others. Please know that I've never read a "dream interpretation" book, so I'm far from being an expert in this area. However, for what it's worth here are my impressions:

--You were the "observer" of this dream, or drama, as it unfolded. There was a sense of "space" between you and the event. This indicates to me that you were able to maintain some sense of detachment even though this was such a powerful event for you. (Perhaps, your meditation is assisting you in observing things with more detachment.)

--The character in this drama that you identified most closely with was the man in the chute. His chute was entangled in a "tree with branches." I think you were correct in that this "tree" represents both the human family's "tree of life" and "your own family tree." The feelings were: "spinning out-of-control" and "plunging towards the earth." Both very apt imagery of aspects of your life experiences right now.

--You mentioned that he/you had to "stabilize" before he/you could "release" the stuck "cords" from the "tree." Each of these words I have put "quotation marks" around are rich in symbolism. Just sit with each for a moment and it will reveal itself to you.

--You mentioned that as you "observed" this event, you were able to get into "his" mind and experiences his thoughts. A part of you was so impressed at how calm he [might I suggest this is also the inner you] was.

--You mention that he landed safely, but it wasn't where he had "expected." Ah life, it truly is wonderful and amazing when we let go of expectation of how it "should" be and how it is "suppose" to be. I'm sure you can relate to these feelings so well.

--Finally, you mentioned that a group of people--you mention that these were dignitaries as signified by their sashes across their chests--had been waiting for this man's/your arrival. Might I suggest, that these are representative of the "spirit guides" you have been working with. They are beings whose "wisdom, experience, and power" are equal or greater than your own. Some of the people waiting could empathize with the difficulty of the journey you've been on and were concerned that "you/he" may not make it.

--You mention that this "homecoming" was the most emotional part of the dream for you. I find it so appropriate that this person/you seemed to be some kind of veteran. A "veteran" symbolizes one who has been refined through the heat of battle. This is a sending of "assurance" that you will "hear the music" and that you will make it and arrive safely home.

For you in this incidence, the "tune" you chose was a drumming "patriotic-type" tune. How beautiful and appropriate for a "soldier" who has arrived home from battle.

Anyway, these are my thoughts at this moment. Perhaps they will help you find more "space" to see this event with more clarity.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

81) Controlling Thoughts; Incomplete Memories

I moved to my ‘traveling couch’ as usual and used my visualizations and affirmations to get into the right mind state as I fell back to sleep. Here is where I become aware of being in vibrations, with short light bursts of vibrations at first. Knowing this is my signal I am about to move out, I affirm and intensify these vibrations, willing them to become stronger and stronger.

At the height of intensity, I make my move and find instead of ‘rolling out’ as I usually do, I practically jump out of my body! Once again I am amazed at the clarity of my senses…no blindness, no pulling or tugging, just perfect vision and a flowing ease of movement.

Easily I glide to the door, not even having to consciously ‘affirm’ my intentions... just thinking of the door starts my movement!

My brother Wayne was here and talking to someone about something he wasn’t supposed to have done. I knew it was middle of the night, and wondered why he was here so late. I was in the front yard and remembered I had wanted to do “inward now!”

However, my attention was on his truck as he climbed into it to drive away. I flew to the top of the truck, and was surprised to see my dog Buddy on top with me! As he starts to drive away, I jump down and decide I’d like to try to race him, knowing I could go as fast as I wanted with only my intention.

Having decided to test my speeding abilities, I forgot about wanting to do inward now. I see him driving fast down the local road, and I race to catch up alongside him. I’m doing the ‘Superman’ pose, and thinking very clearly that it is my thoughts that are driving my actions. I am enjoying the speed as I see oncoming traffic heading toward me. I briefly think about a potential collision, yet still knowing that I would just pass through anything that I encountered. However, I took note that my speed slowed down upon the very thought of fear and potential collision.

The scene transitioned to another room where my brother was talking with someone about being accused wrongly of something, and I knew he was starting up with some sort of drama that I didn’t want to participate in. As left the room, I noticed two young female twins, about aged 10, that were very familiar, smiling at me. I knew I had seen them before, yet could not remember where.

Once into the hallway, I remembered I wanted to do ‘Inward now!’ and did so. I immediately had the usual movement sensation and found myself still in the hallway, but with my vision now clouded and hazy. I could hear a ball game playing on the radio or TV, and twice yelled out, “is anyone there?” There was no response and I tried to move, yet found my movements awkward and difficult.

The rest of the experience is only vague snapshots of memories that I recorded without any cohesiveness. I know I was looking for a young teacher who was needed to teach ‘newborn’ and ‘6-12’ (?) There were ‘other’ temporary teachers there, as they were ‘covering’ for others, because there were many other ‘missing’ teachers . I was there introducing myself, and do not recall what I was to do, but I do know computers somehow played a part in my role there.

This was not one of my best OBE’s, yet it started with such clarity of vision and thinking. I just don’t know what is going on with my OBEs in that I feel I am not having the great learning experiences I have had in the past.

This may in part be due to the high level of stress and time constraints that I feel I have in my personal and professional life right now. So, I guess, it just may be that I need to be a bit more patient in my endeavors and know that when the time is right, my learning experiences will return in full bloom. Patience is a virtue, but it IS a difficult one for me!