Blog Archive

Monday, May 26, 2008

57) Party, Dream Conversion, Omaha

May 26, 2008

Asleep on couch, I ‘awoke’ thinking that a party was going on in my house! It was filled with people and ‘stuff’ and with me in a flannel nightgown! There were so many people all over…my daughter and her friends, my ex-husband and his football friends, and myriads of people I recognized from some time in my life but didn’t know well.

I saw perfume bottles set up on a counter and the floor, some jewelry hanging on display I had to duck under, and the floor covered with all kinds of ‘stuff’ you had to step over. At one point, I tried opening something that spilled onto the floor, and thought, “well, there is so much stuff already on the floor, I’ll clean it up later!”

I’m walking around telling everyone that I need to knew when they are coming and spending the night, stopping to sternly tell my ex-husband he must inform me when he plans on staying over. As usual, he’s arguing that he didn’t stay over…they were out very late and came here in the early am. I just assume they’ve been here all night because it’s morning now.

Walking to different rooms, I need to find out what’s going on in each because I feel I’m responsible for what’s happening in my house. In one room I see a curtain with a young teenage son of a friend holding it closed so I can’t see what’s going on. I look behind it and see a male & female (thin blond) teenagers involved with each other and tell them to stop and leave. I then notice an older male also there with them involved, (thin, balding in center, hair on sides, familiar yet not one I knew I wanted in my house). I tell them all to get dressed and leave.

Now I’m trying to find my husband so he can help me escort them out. I find him upstairs in an unfinished attic type area, again with other people milling around there too. I knew he was planning on taking a bath (?) in his truck because he was disgusted with all that was going on in the house. I tried to tell him “please don’t leave, I need your help to get these people out” but I don’t know if he heard me as he disappeared out the back door.

I go down the stairs and hallway thinking I can intercept him and try to get his attention to help me, so as I’m going back to that room with the dressing people, I’m looking down the hallway hoping to see my husband and get him to help me escort them out. When I realize he’s not going to help, a tall black gentleman appears (unfamiliar person, yet emanating a safe, warm feeling of help), so I confidently go into the room with him.

I follow the people out of the house, and as I’m walking them out I’m telling them that I don’t even want them waiting in the driveway for a ride, they have to just keep walking. I felt there were enough adults there in the house and around that someone would be able to give them a ride home if they needed one.

As we exit the house, I see the group of people I’m escorting split up into two groups going different directions, and I wonder how I’ll be sure they all get out. I ask where one group is going, and the man says his car is parked closer to this exit, so he’s leaving that way. I now realize this is an airport terminal, with different exits, and I allow them to leave whatever exit they wish. They just disappeared.

In one section where I stopped, I see baggage being loaded into an area that had a pneumatic chute type effect. Standing near that, I turn around to see who is there and notice a male and female up on another level watching and smiling at me, not feeling like they are there to help me, but just watching and finding it funny that I am so distressed and out of control with what’s happening in my home. Everyone else in this experience so far seemed to be having a good fun time, but in a low morals type way, and I did not find it funny to me at all.

Turning back to the baggage loading area, I suddenly find myself sucked up into the chute and ‘falling’ upward in darkness. I became fearful about being harmed in this chute and then had the realization, “hey, wait! It’s a dream and I can do whatever I want!” (The feeling of danger is almost always a signal that I’m dreaming)

I then knew to convert the experience into a long tunnel feeling so I would be able to fly out. I turned around (I was on my back) and did the Superman position to fly, but also realized at the same time that I didn’t need to have my arms out to fly!

I exit the tunnel and find myself flying over water, beach-like water, with gentle waves and people wading in the water, mostly women and children. I would occasionally see one or two look up as if they see me, but I know they probably can’t since I’m OOB. (maybe they could? perhaps a false belief I had?) They are having such fun, and so am I, just zipping and zooming around and enjoying that freedom of flight again.

Looking at the women, I feel it may have been a time ago, when women wore bathing suits and head coverings that covered most of their bodies. I then fly back to the beach and see the docks/piers where there are mostly men working. I then flew over a city like area, with one section that seemed to be more country, as if a park with a pavilion. I think to myself, “I wonder where I am?” and at that time I see a man sitting in the pavilion look up to me and yell out “Omaha!” So I say, “Oh, thank you! I must be in Omaha”, and I’m trying to remember where Omaha is, quickly remembering it’s in Nebraska. As if on cue, another male at the other end of the park yells out “Nebraska!” confirming to me that I was indeed in Omaha, Nebraska.

I decide to fly up to the stars enjoying being among the quiet blackness and stars. I had the feeling I was beginning to wake, so at that point I recall I had set the intention to help someone when I got out. I yell out, “is anyone there?” a few times, hearing myself speak almost as if I was fully awake. ( I think I waited too long in the experience and was too ‘awake’ at this point)

No one answered but I became painfully aware of the fact that my right first finger was going numb, so I’m trying to wiggle it to get the feeling back, knowing that this might fully wake me up but still hoping I can continue on. (I really thought I was actually wiggling it IP, but when I woke it was still quite numb due to its awkward position, probably the cause of my OOBE ending)

Now I’m aware I’m in a forest, lying down, enjoying the sounds of the forest and gentle rain. I could feel a buzz in my pocket, and I realize it’s my pager going off! (I was actually IP ‘on call’ for the hospital and I’m sure I had that concern underlying my experience)

I look at the pager and try to read it, and it says something about ‘Labor Day’ (?), and as I hit it again, it’s a video of a firetruck (?), and I remember thinking “this is important, I have to be sure this is NOT real as I have to go if I’m really being paged!”

Concentrating, I think “this can’t be right, this can’t be real” as it just kept giving me weird words and diagrams. At that point I remember this can’t be ‘real’ because when I went to bed, I had the pager on a loud ‘beeper’ to wake me, not ‘buzzer’. (It’s amazing how your mind is able to rationalize and remember such details even when ‘out’!)

I again feel I was semi-awake, as the sound of my IP waterfall in the room was probably the sound of rain I was hearing. Although I didn’t’ want to wake, I knew my finger was now very painful, and I awoke fully with a numb finger and a feeling of incomplete adventure once again!

Sunday, May 18, 2008

56) Visiting with "D."

I made the intention that if I got out again last night I'd try to remember to go see "D.", just in case I'm on a roll here and could take her with me! :)

What happened was unique to say the least, but not much else. I remember feeling the 'awakened' mind while dreaming stage, despite how it felt I may be 'too awake' to get out.

I still tried to do the roll-out with my legs, and succeeded in a partial exit. With a little more oomph, I was out, but standing unsteadily, as if it was the first time again!

It took me a few seconds to realize I was truly out, as it felt so different and heavy. I was confused for a short bit, wondering what I had wanted to do, but fortunately, gained some recall about wanting to go see D.

Standing in the living room, a bit confused by the strange sensations, I affirmed 'to D.!', but felt compelled to also add 'inward now!'. It was after forcing a slight twist to the left that I felt the usual spinning and moving sensations, along with blackness.

I felt I was descending and entering into a small living room/sitting room of sorts. I will describe it as best I can, but you will see that my time there was SO brief, I'm lucky I can even recall what I did.

It was more the 'feeling' of the room that I remember, such a cozy, warm, home-y type room, with many little knick-knacks and 'items' on display. It was cluttered in a sense, but in a very neat and organized sort of way, so that it felt warm and inviting. There was only the warm glow of a lamp or two that lit the room, nothing bright and stark about this room at all. I was not able to see anyone, yet had the feeling someone was there.

Immediately upon entering this room from above, I heard the loud raucous sound of a telephone ringing! I was SO upset to think that my phone would ring at this crucial time! (It was a false awakening I later found out - no phone call was received IP)

I answered the phone, pulling myself out of this 'foggy state' I was in (which I believed was due to my just being OOB). It was another nurse from work, who was in need of help on a critical patient, and I remember telling her, "hang on, I'll be there as soon as I can - I'm not feeling too well right now" thinking I needed to get more awake to process my thoughts clearly.

My friend Susan was also there, rushing around to get ready for work as well, and I confirmed with her that she had heard about the trouble at work. (You would think this would have made me realize it was a false awakening, but since I had just returned from a trip with her, I think I assumed I was still on that trip!)

Getting dressed, I'm now forcing my mind to awaken, and am so surprised to see that when I fully awaken for real, I'm still here on the couch at home, with no one around and nothing going on!

I have to wonder why would a false awakening want to stop me from completing this task I set? The whole experience was different from the start, so I just don't know what to think about this one.

5/18/08 Second attempt to visit D.

Last night, while visiting my son in his 15th floor apartment, I was able to get out with the intention of trying once again visiting "D." I remember rolling out off the couch, feeling very very heavy, yet surprisingly very clear in my thinking. I moved to the sliding door to the balcony, and notice how sloo-o-o-w moving everything felt, even my motions.

I attempted to turn to look at myself on the couch (knowing full well this is something I don’t really want to do since previously I have found I return immediately), and as I am attempting to turn very slowly, I am stopped. I don’t fight the block, knowing it is for my own best interest to not do so.

With my attention to the balcony, I try to ‘walk’ through the glass door, only to find it rather solid and difficult to pass through. It takes me only a second to know it IS possible to do (remember, I am very clear in my thoughts, an unusual occurrence for me), and then proceed to go through the door to the outside, however, in a very slooooow process, definitely feeling the change in texture as I pass through.

Now standing on the balcony, I see the beautiful view of the city below, and think clearly of my intention to go visit "D". So I say to myself, ‘to D.!’ with full intention of traveling there, and was so surprised to find myself immediately transitioning to a fully awake state! No false awakening, just fully awake and in my body. Worse yet, I was not able to get out again for the remainder of the night!

I am beginning to think that deep down, I am of the belief that I should not be using this OOB gift in such a manner and that may be a reason for this inability to travel to destinations of my own choosing. Using ‘inward now’ and having my Higher Self decide where and what I need to be doing is what resonates best with me, and therefore I feel has an impact on my ability to meet with others.

At this time, I think I will return to the use of ‘Inward Now!’ and see if my experiences return to the deeper learning events that I long for again. With these intentions I am confident I will have more interesting experiences to post!

Sunday, May 11, 2008

55) Traveling With a Friend OOB!

Wow! I can't believe I was actually able to bring along a very good friend on this latest OOBE! It again isn't much, but it does tell me that perhaps this will be my only attempt to bring along someone who has not had their own previous OOBE in order that they could validate it with me.

I was away on a long weekend in Cape Cod with two friends, one being a very close confidante and long time associate, Susan. This was to be a 'girls getaway' weekend of rejuvenation and energy work, so I had high hopes (and intent!) of experiencing something wonderful and exciting.

It was on the second night that I found myself out of body in the bedroom. I had already planned on what I would do when I get out, so I affirmed 'to the door!' which took me first to the bedroom door. I then again affirmed 'to the door!' and proceeded to the main living room area where Susan was sleeping on the couch.

It was at that time, I remember extending my left hand to her right hand and taking off! I knew we were flying south along Cape Cod, as I remember seeing the ocean waves moving into shore from my left to my right beneath me. I distinctly remember telling Susan, "You have to remember this! Any small part of it, you just have to remember this!!!"

It seems my 'feeling' at this time was that she was still 'sleeping' and was not really responsive to my urgings. Although she appeared awake, I could tell by her 'demeanor' that it was going to be unlikely that she would be able to recall any of it.

I took her to a cluster of trees, planning on zooming up the tree, as it is a favorite OOB pastime of mine it seems (lol). However, I also recall thinking, as we faced the tree in front of us, 'wow, these trees really are short here by the sea!' so it wasn't as much fun as it usually is.

Trying to do other maneuvers that she may be able to recall later, I then tried to teach her how to 'back flip', another OOB favorite of mine. Again, I remember instead of the usual 'feet up over head' flip, it was more of a soft back loop!!!

We proceeded to a house somewhere below where I saw a woman and her two sons. Much detail is lost here, as this OOBE would continue on with more 'feeling/emotional' aspects than actual events that can be put into words.

I can only put here what I was able to record immediately upon waking, with as much word associations as I could recall. I actually remember near the end having to make the OOBE stop so that I would even be able to recall these few events, knowing there was SO much more to it that I can express here.

Anyway, in the house, Susan and I were welcome friends, at least it seemed so in the beginning. However, I feel this experience may have been more, as in something I needed to learn from.

At some point, the woman and her husband (who had come in during our stay) determined that somehow I was the one responsible for their youngest child's death! I remember that there was a 'connection' I had had with this young son (under age 5), but I cannot recall in what capacity. The mother, father, as well as the remaining two sons, (aged approximately 8 & 12), were emphatic that I was to blame!

Hoping for some backup support from Susan, I quickly realized she was not going to be capable of helping me and that this was something I was going to have to do for myself. Her presence in this experience disappeared at this time.

So, to sum up what happened as best I can, I believe that because I felt I had to defend myself from this false accusation, I became absorbed within their beliefs and could feel the slow rise of panic and fear.

This made me completely useless in giving any form of help to them, and I was so glad to be given a signal (one I know I received but cannot recall) that I was still out of body! I just took off, out of the house, and flying free into darkness.

Flying through a night sky, I saw in the distance a storm brewing, with flashes of light and high winds. Loving the wind as I do, I headed straight for the beautiful orange/red clouds and yellow flashes of light, enjoying the brisk wind in my face.

Looking down, I saw school children being usered to 'safety' by the teachers in anticipation of this major wind/rain storm.

Once I was within all the red/orange/yellow light of the storm, I found myself in an amusement type area, where these same colors were now completely filling both sides, above and below me, in the form of lighted signs or colored boxes. It is interesting to note that there were ‘flames of fire’ within these little boxes, making me think perhaps the storm caused some sort of damage.

I moved downward, seeing a staircase with many people descending the stairs. I was flying above them, going up, and just looking at their faces trying to see if there were any who appeared familiar. There were mostly women, some with children, and a few men...all smiling at me, but not interacting.

At the top of the stairs sat three children, and I decided to stay and talk with them. I felt welcomed and and asked them their names. They were all unusual names and would be pronounced in such a cute 'kid-like' manner. I don't recall the exact names, just the fact that their own version of the name was made me smile.

It was at that point I felt I had to force an ending to this OOBE as there was SO much happening that I knew I was barely going to be able to remember the highlights. I always hate it when that happens, but I also know when I've 'had enough'.

What is interesting to share with you is that I was recently asked what my greatest fears were in life. After much thought I came with two fears: being falsely accused and personal failure to follow through with a given responsibility due to not being told about it. By doing so in an unknowing manner would be the only way this would happen, as I would never intentionally disregard any responsibilities I have been assigned.

In reviewing this OOBE, it is perhaps just this 'fear' that caused me to conform to the family's belief system and hence my hasty retreat from them.

As for the rest of the OOBE, it's anyone's guess...and I'm always open to suggestions! Email me with any if you have some insight...thanks!