Blog Archive

Saturday, June 30, 2007

11) Lucid Dream Recall - Ice Tsunami

6/24/07 2:31 am Ice Tsunami

I have been attempting to use the recommendation of trying to 'get back into the dream-consciousness state of mind' to enhance recall of a lucid dream.

I find my recall is usually done in a backward fashion, with only a few memories of the ending remembered at first. Once I settle into the altered state of intending to recall more details, I can usually start pulling out memories of a previous event, which will then lead to more memories of an even earlier event.

This was how I was able to recall this dream, as I awoke with only the memory of cold water and a huge wave!

The feeling I awoke with was that I was doing something else even prior to this recalled dream sequence, but am unable to remember any earlier events. So, put back in chronological order, the dream goes as such:

My earliest recall starts with the feeling of floating in a body of water, holding onto an older man, trying to help him somehow. We were both floating in a pond or lake that led into a river. As we floated around a curve to the left riding the current, he pointed off to the right where a distance away I could see a little square, boat (?) cushion, floating on the water. He indicated to me that "that’s where the ‘event’ happened." (The feeling I had was that there was a loss of life there).

We are now floating in the faster river portion around an island with a building on it (my feeling was it was a barn-type building). We are being carried along by the current, and my impression was that the water was now dangerous, in the sense that it was very, very, very cold with ice buildup on the edges. The ice extended into the river and under the water on both sides. We were floating into this one open channel, surrounded by ice, and I was relieved to see that we were near a point where we’d be able to climb onto the ice shelf to get out of the river .

All of a sudden, a small piece of the ice shelf breaks off, creating a little wave, and I can feel the up and down movement in the water. I said, “oh great, this isn’t a good thing!” and we continued to drift further, knowing I had to get out of this water because it was just too cold to stay in for long.

I felt it was imperative to get this guy out of here now, when suddenly a huge piece of the ice shelf breaks off underwater below our feet! I remember saying “Oh, no! This is not good!” as it created a huge tsunami-like effect wave that lifted us up very, very high! I said to the man, “Hang on! We are going to take a little ride here!”

We went up so high I remember thinking, “Oh my gosh, this is so high that I know we are going to get hurt when we are dropped down from this height!" (Again, this was a ‘concern for my safety’ trigger that I feel I was supposed to remember I was lucid dreaming at that point!)

Knowing we are going to be slammed into the earth from this height, I was very concerned but also immediately had the knowing that “no, I can control this!” I closed my eyes and repeated to myself over and over, ‘soft and gentle landing’, with full confidence that I could change this scene’s ending. Sure enough, we were ‘softly and gently’ laid upon on the ground and that’s where I woke up in my bed.

I believe I must have fallen right asleep after this, without thinking to record it. Upon awakening at 7am, remembering those few details, I tried the recall method and this is what I got!

Saturday, June 23, 2007

10) Tornado Dream

I was going to use this blog only for my OOBEs in an attempt to keep log of my progress. However, having had such good insight from others as to a dream sequence of 6/20 (see, #9 Dream Sequence Reflects Learning and following comment), I thought I'd share another dream I had just previous to that one.....

June 14, 2007 8:08am

I was in a house similar to my childhood home, but felt it wasn’t really that exact same house. I was near the front door in the area of a ‘closet’ today, but it was just a bare room with walls. Standing in this room, I could see doorway openings in the walls on my right and left. The right doorway lead to the outdoors, and the left looked into a hallway that lead to a bath area where a young child was being given a bath by an older female. I felt the child was my son and the female was related somehow.

I knew a tornado was coming, and I was standing in this closet-room that I knew had four solid walls around me, even though there were open doorways on two sides. I knew I was safe. I also knew the child and female would be safe in the bathroom where they were. The tornado arrived quickly, and I felt it was going to be a ‘direct hit’! I could feel the air spinning outside and my ears popping. (I have never experienced a tornado, so I don’t know if your ears do this with one!)

Oddly, I had a camera with me, and felt frustrated that it was a very ‘slow to work’ camera. Regardless of this fact and hoping it’d still work, I just stuck my arm holding the camera out into the hallway on my right to try to take a picture of the tornado as it passed by me. I felt disappointed when the flash didn’t go off so I would not get to record it!

After the tornado passed, the child came running to me in the closet room, shaking and crying. He was very scared so I had him sit by me where I was able to soothe him, saying ‘it’s ok, it’s over’.

I woke up, recorded the dream, and didn’t really think much about it until I realize this one is probably loaded with symbolism as well! So here it is…..

Let me know what you think…..thanks!

Thursday, June 21, 2007

9) Dream Sequence Reflects Learning

June 20, 2007 3:18am - Dream Reflects Learning

For background, the day and evening prior to this dream sequence, I had just read the section of Moen’s book (Afterlife Knowledge Guidebook) regarding Perceiver vs. Interpreter, and how we need to learn the ‘language’ of the guidance/guides that are around us.

I found it very interesting to learn how our belief systems will only allow such beliefs that are compatible with being ‘possible’, and that we need to keep an open mind to receive any and all forms of communication. In addition, memories of ‘otherwordly’ events are only saved if they are able to be associated with prior ‘stored’ memories of similar events. This ‘remembering’ of events that is done during dreams/OBE’s can become easier if we ‘go back’ to that level of consciousness in which the dream/OBE occurred.

As I recorded this short dream upon waking, I relaxed and I was able to recall more details in a ‘backward’ sort of sequence, which fit into Moen’s description of association by similar events. This dream sequence seems to fit into this new learning, but I feel also has other symbolism and meaning, I’m just not sure what! For ease of posting, I will start with my earliest memory (which was the last I recorded) and put it into proper sequence.

I was in a foreign country, something with the feel of China/Japan, in a department store of sorts. For whatever reason, I had undressed and had wrapped myself only in a blanket. (The feeling was I was about to have, or just had, a massage – which in real life, I did just have that evening before bed!)

So now I’m walking through the store, knowing I’m only wearing this blanket, yet feeling rather ‘secure’ that I’m appropriately covered up. I head out the back of the building, and starting going up a mountainous area. At the top, I know I was thinking that I must have traveled quite a long distance, and I don’t have my clothes with me.

Initially, I thought I’d have to buy all new clothes because I was too far away to go back and retrieve them, but realized that I had not left the area and could go back down the mountain to get them. I did people there that didn’t speak my language, and felt I was not going to be able to communicate with them anyway, so I headed back down the mountain.

Just as I get near the bottom of the mountain, I could see waves of water, like a tsunami, crashing over the rocks! At first, I thought I was still high enough to be safe on this mountain, but then realized, ‘oh no, I have to get higher!’ So I start climbing back up, not too concerned, but moving quickly…(my cue for awareness/OOB is usually a concern for my safety but I didn’t pick up on this at this time!)

I climb all the way back to the top, where there were people who did not speak my language, knowing I’d have to try to communicate with them. I remember trying to think HOW do you tell someone the word ‘mother’ or ‘sister’ without words?

While I’m thinking this, it’s impressed upon me that what is important is that I learn HOW to communicate with them, and not WHAT I was trying to tell them.

Just before I woke up, I remember the thought that perhaps one way I could ‘communicate’ was to draw pictures for them and that is a way I could show them what I wanted to say!

Initially, I wasn’t even going to record this dream sequence, but in hindsight, can see that even these little ‘nothing dreams’ may hold a lot of symbolism and hidden meaning!

Share with me what you think of this….

**Be sure to read the comments to this section for more insight on symbolism and dream interpretation! Thanks, Kiauma!

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

8) Validation of OBE!

I am just so excited to have received validation of my experience I wrote about here in the blog! (see #1 with following comment).

As a quick summary of that experience, during that OBE, I was introduced to an older man whom I was told was a 'graduate of the May school' (I had no idea what that was).

My quote in the blog - "In this tree house, there was an older man sitting behind a desk and the younger man was telling me all about his friend, how he was a prestigious graduate of the May's? school and other things. I spoke to the older male and said that he must be very proud, but I got the sense that he was a bit disillusioned by it all and not happy."

I can distinctly remember how the older male was not interacting and very reluctant to take part in our conversation.

I was SO surprised when a reader commented on this May school...and feel it is such a validation of this experience!

Her comment was "I don't know if you would be interested in this or not but you mentioned The May School... There is a place called The May Institute which is a school for children & adults with autism. It's strange because I don't know anyone with autism but I felt compelled to read a book titled "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" by: Mark Haddon. In fact I just finished reading the book about a week ago.

The author works with autistic children and wrote the book from the point of view of an autistic teenager. One of the things I noted about the character in the book is he was unable to believe in 'God' or an afterlife because his autism wouldn't allow his brain to come up with that sort of 'fantasy' so he believed that when you die you are just 'dead' and nothing else happens.

When reading that part of your post it made me think about the fact that if the souls you encountered were 'graduates' of the May Institute they might have had autism (when alive) and if they did then they might not have a belief in an afterlife because when they were alive they couldn't understand the concept of continuing on after death."

I am just so excited to receive such timely validation that I wanted to share this with everyone!

A BIG thanks to the one who left the really made my day!!!

Sunday, June 17, 2007

7) Staying in the Near-Physical Again

June 16, 2007 4:41 am

I was awake 2-4am, unable to sleep, so I left my bed and went to the living room couch.

It started off with ‘seeing through closed eyes’, looking at older brick buildings and noticing it was raining. Watching from above, I was looking at outdoor tables/chairs set up for a picnic (long end to end banquet tables, complete with place settings, old cane chairs), outside an ‘institutional’ type setting (like a state mental hospital). I’m thinking “aww, it’s all getting wet, their picnic was cancelled.”

As I start to pull back, I realize I’m OOB and I can see all the buildings of the institution. From there I start moving to other areas of the town - amusement parks, marinas with boats, different buildings, and many other places - enjoying the ability to think of someplace I wanted to see and immediately going there. I felt I was getting like a guided tour of the area.

I thought I was already ‘out’ but then I became very much aware of movement of my ‘astral’ left leg as I lay on the couch and of really strong vibrations, (this time accompanied by a loud noise). This was different to the point where I got slightly ‘concerned’, but then said, “no, just go with it because I know what this is and… oh great! I’m getting out again!”

So I just rolled out, this time again staying in the same room I was physically in. I am thrilled because I know that staying in the near-physical dimension is something I’m eager to do more of. I felt it was more of a ‘slide-out’, ending up on the floor, but then standing to see where my body was back on the couch. I was able to see the blanket covering ‘someone’, and again knew I wasn’t going to push the issue of actually seeing myself for fear of returning.

So I headed over toward the front door/bay window area, because I could remember that I told myself prior to going to sleep last night that if I should again get out in the near-physical realm, I’d like to go outside of the house and see the area. I immediately went ‘through’ the bay window (feeling that sensation, just as I wanted to do!) and outside. I floated up, noticing my glowing hands and then went high enough to feel the ‘pass through’ some tree branches near the house. Once high enough to see the house and surroundings, I said “wow, I have never saw my house from this height before!” It was such a different ‘feeling’ than my previous OOBE’s, but yet, I can’t explain why it felt different.

I then changed scenes to this room full of ‘people’, some whom I recognize as having encountered before in this life. The feeling I got was they were possibly patients I have taken care of before, having now passed on… (I am a nurse). They were smiling and happy, going about their business without a concern for me. There was ONE male that did look up to make eye contact (average height, medium build, grey/white hair with moustache/beard combo) and I felt I knew him well, so I wanted to wave ‘hi!’ The immediate feeling I got was ‘no, not yet, you don’t want to interact with them yet because you don’t want to take on anything more than what you are doing right now’. I said, ‘well, ok’ without thinking twice of it and continued on.

So realizing I need to move on and leave the room, I think, “how could I get out of here?” As soon as I thought it, I knew I had to say “to the door!” and of course, that’s where I went.

Now the door was just an arched opening, leading to a hallway/passageway – but one made of cement/smooth stone that felt ‘old’. As I floated down the hallway, I remember seeing a spider web across the hallway that I knew I’d have to pass through. Expecting to ‘feel’ the web, I was surprised when I didn’t feel any different sensations passing through it (I like to take note of the different sensations of passing through ‘solid’ objects).

Now, I’m heading ‘out’ down the hall, when I realize there is someone right behind me, just off my left shoulder. A young male presence was there and I remember saying, “I know you’re there, tell me your name, come here where I can see you!” I’m laughing, thinking this is so much fun, getting such a GREAT happy and fun feeling from him.

I hear him answer me, and I keep trying a few times to look back over my shoulder to see him. The glimpse I got was that of a good-looking young male, (30’s?), with the name “Phil” or even perhaps he was saying “just some ‘fella’”. I distinctly got the impression that it’s really not important what his name is (knowing myself, I’d probably attach too much significance to the name anyway).

Then I just faded slowly back to the physical, finding myself back on the couch, left with such a good feeling of having had SO much fun! I was smiling for the rest of the day!

Thursday, June 14, 2007

6) Three in One

Thursday 6/14/2007 6:30am

I was initially awake around 6-6:10am when my husband left for work. I knew I had to get up in 20 minutes so I am half dozing and relaxed. I must have started dreaming again of school (see Learning to Dream Walk entry), which is an ongoing recurrent theme I have had for many years.

This time, however, was different in that it was no longer high school, but college and I was attempting to ‘get to class’ once again. I felt confident I knew where to go for class and where it would be held, but I had to get to my dorm building first. The problem this time was I forgot where my dorm building was! I knew the vicinity, but not the exact spot. (These school dreams always have some element of ‘forgetting’ and ‘finding’ in them!)

I started to exit the building I was in, going to search for my dorm. I realized when I went out the door that I went out a different door than I did previously. I can remember getting my bearings and realizing that I usually exit the door on the left side of the building. This time I was leaving through the ‘main entrance’ in front.

So, because of the new exit, I knew the vicinity of the building would be up a street and to the left. I must have stopped and placed my pocketbook on the railing outside the door because once I got on the street to the dorm building, I realized I needed my keys (in my pocketbook) and that I had forgotten it somewhere! Panic set in, and I immediately recalled it had to be back at the main entrance where I stopped. I raced back, and just outside the entrance encountered a man with a number of pocketbooks hanging on display. He was trying to give me one of his (a large black one), insisting that I take it. I refused, and said “no, none of these are mine!” Looking over past him, I could see my own pocketbook still hanging on the railing where I left it. I felt such relief as I went to get it.

The scene shifted and I thought I was waking up, because I could remember that I had a meeting to get to this morning and worried that I might be late (this was true). I can remember it was dark out still (not really at this time), so I put on the light, and got up out of bed to get ready for work. I glanced out the window by the bed and noticed it was SNOWING! (It’s summer here!) I became worried that I might have some difficulty driving to work that day when I again realized I’m actually still in bed and that this was another false awakening (see my blog for last experience).

So I’m relaxed, knowing I had only a few minutes before my alarm would go off. I became aware that I could feel my left leg moving slightly, yet I knew I was not moving my physical leg. Knowing it was my ‘astral’ leg, I pulled it up high, bending it, moving it all around. I even remember trying to open my ‘physical’ eyes to see if I could look into the mirror next to the bed and see what my leg looked like! I actually was able to open my physical eyes slightly when I realized that this would fully wake me. I closed them, and concentrated on the soft, fuzzy vibrations I felt, and I knew that I was still here in the pre-OOB state.

So, I lifted the left leg up again, then tried the right leg, then left arm, and finally just said “ok, so I should be able to get out now!” I just let myself roll over to the right and could feel I was climbing out. I’m now standing at the side of the bed, thinking that if I’m out, then I must have fallen back into the deeper ‘state’ of sleep even though I know I have to get up soon!

I was wobbly at first, but then knew I had to back away from bed to get more energy and control. It was total darkness, pitch black, and using no sight, I took a few steps to bottom of the bed. I knew I had to get my vision, so I said ‘clarity now’ without results, and then repeating it, I got immediate results. My vision ‘popped’ open and I could see clearly the rest of the room and into the hallway.

I was so excited, as I don’t always get to be this close to ‘real physical’ surroundings when OOB. However, it was so short-lived because just as I could see clearly, the alarm clock goes off!

It is interesting to note that I could hear the clock next to my head, but yet could see into the hallway from my position at the bottom of the bed! I remember how strange it felt for just a few seconds before I pulled my physical eyes open. Kind of like being in two places at once! It felt very strange before fully waking up, something new I have not felt before.

This all occurred in 20 minutes, and at a time I was not expecting to do anything OOB!

My take on what this means: The school dream is very revealing to me as it indicates I am ‘working through’ some personal issues (my dorm) that deal with taking on others ‘personal’ problems (aka pocketbooks). Because I was able to refuse to take any except my own shows me I am moving in the right direction. My good friend also felt that the fact I left the building through the ‘main entrance’ and not the ‘left side’ (indicating the past) means I am moving forward. (Again, this may correlate to my being told about ‘Journey One – Getting to Know Yourself’ as mentioned in my blog).

I am glad to know that I can now become OOB without having to pre-plan my travels as I usually do. The 'astral blindness' though is so different, as I can 'feel' my eyes closed and want to open them physically, yet know I can't because I'll wake up! There is so much more of a 'real' feeling to this experience. It also seems the new increase in false awakenings may be linked with my staying close and more spontaneous OOBs. I'm assuming it has to due to the 'lighter' state of awareness that I feel.

I would love to have any insight and feedback as to what anyone may think of this.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

5) OOB Experience Reflects Life

June 12, 2007 7:32am

Just thought I'd share my latest experience and show how relective of life they can be. For a little background, this has been quite an emotional week for me, feeling very much overwhelmed with all that I have had to do and still need to do. This experience, I feel, reflects those feelings directly yet shows me that 'they' are working with me to help me get through these tumultuous times...just knowing this helps me to cope better!

It begins in my old bedroom at my mother's house where I am socializing and watching movies with friends and family. I am discussing the need for cleaning up the room and getting upset these people were not helping.

My best friend from high school was there (whom I have not seen since high school!) and was `disagreeing' with me about something. I called her 'stupid' as a response to her answer to a question and she stomped off. (I then felt hurt and upset that I said could even say something like that to her!!)

Now I'm looking all over for these guys (they left the room) because I wanted some help 'cleaning up' and to do some work. I was told they were out `playing' with Sue (- a person with whom I had bad emotional dealings with in the past). I was feeling SO upset that they left all this stuff for me to do yet they were out having fun!

They had left the movie running in the 1st bedroom and as I passed by the 2nd bedroom, I could see messes where the dogs pee'ed on floor needing to be cleaned up. As I went half way down stairs, I saw Mom in the 3rd bedroom and that's where I found out where everyone was out having fun. I was SO upset they were leaving me to do fix up everything!

Now I'm back to bed in the first bedroom, fed up, so I went to sleep. I was positioned on my left side, slightly tipped, becoming aware my eyes were closed but able to see the room in detail, seeing the upper edge of room, windows, etc. I knew that if I could see through my eyelids, I must be about to do something.

The next thing I know, I definitely feel the pressure of a hand on my right hip pushing me flat on my stomach. (It is such a real feeling that you'd swear someone was right there!) Now awake and aware, I wanted to see what would happen next.

The hand pushes me over flat, and now I can feel pressure on lower back. There were two pressure points at the base of my spike being massaged, slightly tender but felt good. She drew her hand up my back still holding the pressure. I `knew' they were working on `pressure points' with me and after a little while it eased up.

Then I realized I was still on my stomach, but now moving (levitating) on the bed off to the left side, with my arm hanging off the left side of the bed. As I'm lying there, I can see the shadow of someone next to the bed working on me, but I intentionally looked away because I felt I didn't want to know who it because I'd wake up if I did.

At some point I must have been lifted, because I next remember being placed back on the bed. I slowly became aware of my physical surroundings and then woke up.

This is not like my usual OOBE's where I 'go places', but one where I feel they 'came to me'....I don't know if anyone will get much out of this except me, but I'm very much willing to share my experiences to get some feedback.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

4) False Awakening OOBE

June 6, 2007 7:30 am

As this is my birthday, I really wanted to do something OOB, so I got comfortable and did my usual visualization of white light protection and opening to my guides. I became aware I was being carried or pushed on a chair by a former classmate (one I have not seen in 30 years) through a building, stopping occasionally to clear the path and move some obstructions, so she could carry/push me easier. As we went into another room, I remember getting half off the seat, saying ‘it’ll be lighter for you if I got off’, but knew I should get back on and continue.

As we left this room, I could see a long sidewalk in front of stores, and I was moving faster and faster down this sidewalk. It felt like it was a desk chair I was sitting in, going faster and faster, and I was getting ‘concerned for my safety’ (a key point to becoming lucid). This again made me aware I was dreaming, and I felt an immediate scene shift. There were colors, flashes, and a lot of different sensations but unfortunately I don’t recall much of anything else.

Then I must have had what is called a ‘false awakening’. I rarely do this, as I have had little need to ‘verify’ my state of awareness before. But this time, I remember thinking, ‘aw gee, I’m awake and much too aware’ as I was sitting in a living room chair. I then thought about the ‘tasks’ I should have done while OOB, thinking I missed doing them again.

I immediately felt this warm ‘settling in’ feeling and then to my surprise, woke up for real in my bed, realizing it had to have been a false awakening.

Although disappointed that it was not a ‘spectacular’ OOBE for my birthday, I still felt it was showing me I can have false awakenings. I know now I should plan to do something to verify my ‘state of awareness’ when I think I’m awake to perhaps achieve a different ‘sense’ of OOB experiences.

3) My House OOBE

This is the last of the 'series' of OOBEs I mentioned in the Learning to Dream Walk post:

June 2, 2007 8:30am

As I awaken, I get the feeling I am forgetting SO much yet I just can’t recall details….

I do remember getting out, climbing out of my body easily enough, which was something new to consider since it was never that easy before. I can’t remember exactly how, but it was a smooth transition to another room, walking around looking at things.

I then realized it was a walk through MY house, but my house not as it is today, but as I wanted it to be! Large windows, French doors that opened out to a balcony….and I’m saying ‘wow, I should just go outside and see what’s out there!’ I can remember facing the large doors, and just putting my hands through the glass and feeling the cool outside air.

I then went on out, down into the yard, and feeling its similarity to what it is now, but more beautiful with pools, fish ponds, fountains, and all kinds of wonderful things. There was a big bar-like area in back with people, like a party going on with music and socialization. There was a large cooking area and beautiful stonework where the old patio area is off to the side of my house. I felt so proud of the beautiful house I owned and the way I could share it with my friends.

That is the point where I turned around and felt I left the area to another room, checking it out. This became the library experience I wrote about in my previous post (see Learning to Dream Walk) that ended with the feeling of being ‘Journey One’.

The only other details I remember (from re-listening to my recording of that am) was that just before awakening, I was taking these quizzes, some personality-type quizzes to get to know myself. I’m not sure of many details but was about to start taking a second ‘quiz’ with animals in the first question as I awoke and became fully aware of being back in my body in bed.

2) New Baby OOBE

From the previous post (Learning to Dream), I mentioned I had a 'series of OOBEs' on June 2. This is one from that series:

June 2, 2007 4:41am

I awoke at 3 am, tossed and turned, trying to return to sleep and felt it took an hour to finally go back to sleep. I found myself traveling somewhere down a road, but then the road became unfamiliar and I felt uncomfortable not knowing where I was going. The road got narrower, becoming now a dirt road then a small path leading up a hill. I could see shack-like houses to the side and got feeling that I was getting off the ‘main road’ and needed to get back on it. While I am moving, I am also going up high, feeling now high on a hill on this ‘cow path’ type trail, and I could ‘see’ the main road I wanted off in the distance, but not knowing how to get there. (again, I realized I was 'concerned for my safety')

At this point I said ‘I really need to know where I am’, and I becoming aware that I was ‘rising up’, which then clicked my awareness on to know that I was going OOB. As I’m rising, I kept thinking I need to just ‘fall into it’, just let go, and said “ok I’m here, whatever happens will happen.’

I was successful because the next thing I felt was being ‘out of sync’ with my body, knowing that all I had to do was roll over and climb out. After climbing out, I stood to the side of my bed, wobbly, but could feel I was definitely there. My eyes were closed, and I’m thinking “Am I allowed to open my eyes? I should be allowed to open them”, and so with the thought that my eyes were open, I could now see clearly.

There was a person in the bed, and I felt it had to be me but I was not sure because this room looked different in some way. It was my bedroom but also NOT my bedroom.

Feeling the ‘tug’ from being so close to my body, I wanted to move to the door but noticed a closet near the bottom of the bed (that is not really there in the room). I tried to reach the door, but moved so fast that I felt I couldn’t stop and ended up halfway into this closet. I turned around and looked back into the room to the person on the bed. Now this person was becoming restless, kicking at the covers and feeling like they were upset not being able to sleep (like I was earlier that night?)

At this point, the ‘person’ on the bed became my daughter at the younger age of 6 or 7. I felt I needed to go comfort her as she was upset so I went back into the room thinking, ‘how am I going to be able to comfort her even though I’m OOB?’ I went to her, saying, “it’s ok, mommy’s here”, soothing and holding her head and giving a hug. I could actually FEEL the hold on her head and hugging.

Surprisingly, as I looked up into the corner of the room, I saw a crib with dark colored blankets and a little baby (just a few months old) who rolled over and was looking up at me! I distinctly got the impression, “wow, whose baby is that?" and I thought of my son’s recent announcement of his first baby on the way. This made me think it was possibly his, but then I was aware enough to know that if I’m here with my daughter at a much younger age, how can it be his? I wondered if it could possibly be another one I was supposed to have years ago, but then felt no, it must be my son’s new baby on the way…a beautiful, dark-haired little baby….

I then slowly became aware of being back in my bed, fully awake, listening to the ceiling fan, and wishing I had thought to ask if it was a boy or girl!!!

Monday, June 4, 2007

1) Learning to Dream Walk

Saturday, June 2, 2007

I am not really sure where to begin this, so using my dream journal notes, I’ll try to make some sense out of what I have experienced over the past two years of dream journaling. (Wow, didn’t realize it was two years of dream journaling already!)

I began my journaling in September 2005 when I was ‘advised’ that this would be a productive method for me to start with in order to understand what is happening in my life and to find answers. (Actually, I was told by a psychic friend that should dream journal a long time before I began in earnest, so it makes you wonder where I would be today should I have listened and started at that time!)

For the most part, I would not consciously try to remember my dreams as I felt they had very little meaning. There were a few dreams that I could recall (and still can today) when times were tough that I now realize were lucid dreams and OOBEs loaded with symbolism of what was going on in my life at that time.

Many of the dreams dealt with school and learning, and there was always something not complete so I couldn’t get to class. Either I didn’t know where the school building was, or I forgot my books or overslept, and then after a few years, I knew where the building was for the classes, but couldn’t find the right classroom.

It is interesting to note that there was a progression in the dreams where I was slowly getting to the right class, but always still had something I forgot. I recall having a ‘locker break’ in one dream, being allowed to go to my locker in-between classes, yet I could not remember where my locker was located!

Once found, there were obstacles there to slow me, and then I couldn’t remember the combination to the lock once I found it! This ‘school’ type dream continued for years, and I can remember each time I had one, that I would wake and realize ‘well, at least I am making progress.’

The latest one was a few weeks ago, and I knew where the class was, had my books from the locker, but was delayed in getting to class on time because I stopped to help someone on the way.

The very first OOB I can recall had to be the dream I had back in 1994 when I felt I was being ‘lifted up’ higher and higher, with my hands ‘tied’ in front of me (with the feeling that I couldn’t do this alone and needed someone to pull me up), and all I can really recall was two things: The colors…they were so spectacular that words cannot even begin to describe them. I can remember clearly thinking, “wow, the colors are awesome! They are so beautiful!”

The only other impressive recall I have of that dream is near the end of the experience, crying at the ‘elevator’ that was to take me ‘back’ and feeling SO upset that I HAD to go back. The emotions were so powerful that I still can feel that ‘twinge’ of intense sadness I felt at that time.

I was told more than once that I should be writing down my dreams, and that I have had past life experiences where I previously had the ability to ‘dream-walk’ as a shaman. Life always got in the way of my starting to journal, until that time in September when my Reiki friend took me on a regression session that must have cleared some blocks and opened the way for me to start.

So, in looking through these pages, I see that in the beginning, most of the journal entries deal with dreams that are wrought with symbolism and ideas that would have correlated with what I was doing at that time in my life.

I can see that I have made slow and steady progress in the ability to become ‘aware’ within a dream sequence, and what events usually foreshadow an OOBE. Most of the contact with ‘spirits’ began as a sense of their presence, as I was not really able to ‘see’ them.

My first ‘spirit’ contact was with animals that I had known in my childhood, family dogs, cats, and even a rooster that had adopted our family. I KNEW they were there, and could ‘feel’ their happiness and even the ‘warmth’ of their touch. I remember thinking, this is SO REAL!

It was one month after starting to journal, that I had my first dream recollection of being ‘aware’ that I was dreaming. This is the event as I related it in the journal: I was walking with two friends in a mall-type area looking at displays and passed by a group of people meditation on the left of the aisle. I could hear the ‘om’ chanting and thinking that’s so nice they are doing that, and could see their ‘leader’ (small older thin framed male) in front of the group in his knees, eyes closed.

I immediately felt a VERY VERY strong pull toward my left toward the group, and I stepped off to my right asking my friends, “can you feel that?” I dropped to my knees, head down and could feel my body ‘levitating’ over to their side of the aisle (fully aware of the sensation of my body moving yet not wanting to change a thing!).

The group asked me if my ‘friends’ wanted to join us, and I could feel their answer as ‘no, their job was to get me here.’ The group of meditating individuals was warm and embracing, and I felt as though they were saying things like, ‘she’s here!’ and ‘we’ve been waiting for her!’

I was now at the center front of the group, on my knees still, facing one direction, next to the leader facing the opposite direction. He had his arm on my shoulder and my arm over his shoulder and I could (physically) ‘feel’ the touching warmth and peace that emanated and just enjoyed the sensation……

I awoke fully after a time, remembering the light, love and warmth, now feeling cold, heavy, and even a little sad…

In reviewing the journal entries over the next few months, I notice that there becomes increasing references to ‘driving’ and ‘flying’ scenes in my dreams. In hindsight, I am aware that these were my beginning cues as to going OOB.

There were references to ‘falling’ that also are key in my going OOB. I have progressed to the point where I can now become ‘aware’ if I am driving/flying/falling in such a way that I become ‘concerned’ about my safety. That usually tells me to check and see if it’s a dream, which is always is. I then am fully ‘aware’ and thinking from that point on.

In the beginning, it felt so good to be ‘free’ when OOB and I can recall ‘flying’ fast and ‘swooping’ all over area around my house in a number of OOB experiences. With time, I saw that I was learning to ‘control myself’ while in the OOB state, learning to not be so quick to ‘fly off’ and take note of my surroundings.

My journal entries reflect a few instances where I felt ‘wobbly’ and could ‘feel’ hands holding me upright or guiding me places. There was the one time I ‘knew’ I was finally OOB, standing tall, with ‘hands’ helping to steady me, and was told to stay and learn control.

I remember enjoying the fact that I was OOB so much, that I said to them, ‘aw, come on, let’s go!” and took a step forward and jumped to fly! I went through the wall into darkness, only to be pulled back immediately, feeling a bit guilty for not listening!

With my first attempts at OOB, I would usually transition and go immediately to other ‘planes’, not being able to see my usual physical surroundings. Reading the books and seeing how others were able to view themselves and their rooms, I requested that ability too.

It took a bit longer to be able to do this, as I feel I had a problem with viewing myself and still being able to stay OOB. I remember thinking the first time I ‘physically’ felt OOB, that if I looked at myself in bed, I’d go back.

So I said, ‘to the door!’ as Buhlman advises, and immediately I was at the door! (I will say it is true that the closer you are to your physical body, the more ‘tugging’ or ‘pulling’ sensations you feel, and it is easier to think clearly when you move away from it.)

From there I was able to ‘request’ different experiences, from feeling the sensation of ‘going through walls’ to ‘flying out’ to see the Earth from the point of deep space! (All of these requests were done at varying times, in different OOB experiences over a period of months). To this day, I have not clearly been able to ‘see’ myself in bed as many have done, yet no longer have the desire to do so either.

The ability to ‘see through closed eyes’ came about the same time as the start in OOB experiences. The very first time was so exciting that I didn’t even realize what was happening until it was over.

The ‘dream’ sequence led me to a beautiful ballroom at the end, and I still recall that I KNEW I was lying in bed, but I was looking up and ‘seeing’ the ceiling, chandeliers, and staircases that were in the ballroom.

I thought, ‘hey, how can I be seeing this, if my eyes are closed??!!” So, what did I do? I immediately tried to pry open my eyes, only to fully realize once they were open that I was having a precursor to an OOBE and was now wide awake! Talk about disappointment!

But, it gave the confidence that I was able to do this, and I was content with that at least. Since then, I have only a few times felt that same feeling of ‘seeing’ while in bed, and I know now to pay attention and see what happens!

Up until recently, I was not able to ‘see’ or sense spirits other than those who I felt were my guides. I repeated requested the ability to meet ‘others’ that I can help, and got my request in March of this year. Again in hindsight, I feel I was told or knew that I was not fully prepared to meet anyone other than my guides until this time.

This particular OOBE remains firmly embedded in my memory, as it was such an exciting experience! It started with my becoming ‘aware’ and feeling I was about 6” above my body, knowing all I had to do was roll over and climb out.

I rolled, and felt one foot on the floor and then the next foot, aware I was standing at the side of my bed, unsteady, unsure and feeling heavy. This was the very first time I was able to ‘see’ my physical bedroom as it really was.

I remember thinking a few things: one, that there was no one helping me this time, and two, ‘hey, I’m really doing this and I can’t wait to tell my friend Sue!’ I had learned previously that I had to get away from my body to get more strength, so I said ‘at the door!’ an started to ‘walk’ assuming I had physical legs, but then when I realized I didn’t need to, ‘whoosh’ I was at the door at the top of my stairs.

My vision was cloudy, it was dark and hazy in the hallway, and I remembered to say, “Clarity now” which immediately cleared my vision.

I floated down to the living room and saw a large black dog (I have a black Labrador retriever) and figured it was my dog, Buddy. Upon closer inspection, though, I saw it was a large black poodle, not my Buddy, but was thinking clearly enough to say to myself, ‘oh, that’s because it’s just the way my brain registers things in this astral dimension!’ so I relaxed.

I thought, ‘well, I have to make sure this is really happening’ so I took a leap and flew up to through the ceiling, saw the rafters in the attic and almost went out. I stopped because I saw it was dark, wondered, ‘where’s the sunshine?’ and felt a pull back into the living room next to the poodle.

I moved around the corner to the kitchen area and saw a set of big, black swinging doors leading to an ante room (that are not really there in my house). I went into the ante room, through the doors, and the dog followed me.

I could see cars going past, thinking I didn’t want to go outside and see these people, getting the feeling I wasn’t ready to ‘meet’ them yet. So I turned back toward the swinging doors, and said, ‘I guess I’ll just take off again!’

Immediately, the dog grabbed my hand and held me down! I knew it couldn’t hurt me, but it was definitely holding me here. I said, ‘let go!, pulled out my hand and quickly left the ante room through the swinging doors, back to the living room. As I went through the doors, I was able to keep the dog inside the ante room, and remember thinking, ‘wow, why didn’t I think of doing that sooner?’ as it kept the dog confined.

Now, I’m in the living room, I see a ladder by the front door, wondering ‘what’s that doing here’ when I hear a baby crying! I said ‘who has a baby here?’ and from around the corner near the stairs stepped a smiling young lady (20’s, shoulder length blond hair, wire-rimmed glasses, small, thin, pretty, feeling of her being shy, quiet) holding a baby boy (age 1-2?).

I remember being startled as I saw her appear, saying ‘whoa, who are you?’. She just smiled, did not talk or communicate much. Focusing in on the baby, I asked the baby’s name and ‘felt’ the answer as ‘Aron’.

According to my journal, I’m a little foggy on details here, but I took the baby and held him and moved toward the kitchen. As I turned, a young girl (age5-7?) appeared, and I said, ‘oh, you have a sister!’. By the time we got to the kitchen, two more girls (sisters?) appeared (all under age 7).

There was no communication with them, and I never asked their names. In the kitchen I was holding Aron, he was crying, and I noticed a small quarter-sized hernia-like protrusion from his right lower abdomen. I said, ‘oh, you have a boo-boo! that will have to get fixed!’ and as I held him, felt the tugging sensation of needing to go back.

I awoke with the knowledge that this was my first encounter with ‘spirits’ other than those who guide and protect me and I was on my way to bigger and better things.

Further journal entries show that I begin to ‘hear’ voices while OOB, giving instructions and explanations for what I encounter. I meet other spirits, some I interact with, some I don’t, but feeling more comfortable with each encounter.

The voices I hear start muffled, but when I state ‘clarity now’ they become clearer. These ‘voices’ are a different form of communication than the usual ‘telepath’ type knowing that is usually associated with OOB. Although not frequent, when I do hear them, I am clearly aware that there is a ‘sound’ associated with it. This aspect is difficult to explain but once you ‘hear’ something like it, you don’t forget it!

In one journal entry, I met a woman who started talking to me, asking me my name for which I answered, Karen. When she then asked me my ‘second’ name, I became confused, wondering if she wanted my middle name or my maiden/married names.

Clarifying her question, I then knew she wanted my middle name, for which she then said something about ‘I’m been looking for you’ and being here to work with me on my ‘earthly disorders’. I remember feeling so pleased that someone was sent to help me!

I have read a number of books by authors such as William Buhlman, Robert Monroe, and Robert Bruce and have increasingly become interested in the ability to ‘help’ those souls/spirits that may not know they have crossed.

I feel strongly this is something I would like to do and have asked for guidance in this area. It was just recently that I feel I ‘graduated’ to that ability, in a small sort of way. This encounter on May 25, 2007 was the first time I felt I did something constructive in the sense of being able to help others realize they have passed on.

This time it was early morning (when it is my best time to travel) and I visualized white light surrounding me and ‘threw out the welcome mat’ to my guides and angels for protection and guidance. (I have a wry sense of humor; I remember that perhaps the ‘welcome mat’ would get their attention more!)

I intended to travel, and could feel myself becoming aware, with pictures opening on my closed eyelids. It was the center of a small town, with building around four corners and I immediately sense a spirit floating down off to my left.

I’m thinking, ‘wow, look, someone is coming!’ and felt very exciting and nervous, somehow knowing I was there for a reason. He zipped around, and stopped by me (young male, 20-30’s, good-looking, clean cut). I did not ask his name, but he took me to a tree house type of building in a wooded section of town.

It was very beautiful there, and I felt it was a ‘fun’ place. In this tree house, there was an older man sitting behind a desk and the younger man was telling me all about his friend, how he was a prestigious graduate of the May’s? school and other things. I spoke to the older male and said that he must be very proud, but I got the sense that he was a bit disillusioned by it all and not happy.

While I’m talking to these men, I get the ‘knowing’ that they are spirits of men who have passed on, yet they have such a fierce hold on their belief that there is no afterlife that it has not allowed them to move on.

I can recall ‘talking’ with them about many things, not remembering all that I said, but with the knowing that what I said was appropriate and suitable to this situation. I do remember the one question I did ask them, ‘tell me, what do you think happens when you die?’ and they both looked at me blankly.

The younger male was the one I spoke more directly to and his response was ‘well, that’s it…that’s all there is, you’re dead, it’s final, there is nothing more after that’. I looked at the older man, and he nodded in agreement. I said, “well, I think there is a little piece inside of you that continues on to live” and I continued on in that mode, saying “when you die, you leave that shell behind and the spirit continues to live….isn’t that a wonderful idea?” (or basically something to that effect).

I felt the wording was fine, and I recall telling them that I ‘want you to realize you have died….that you would not be able to do what you are doing now (treehouse, flying, etc) if you were still alive in a physical body’….(I recall using the word ‘killed’ but am not sure how it was used, or how I knew that the young man was killed accidently).

The younger male then jumped to the ground (and it was a long way down!) as I gently floated down to just 6-8’ above his head. He’s looking at me and I said “just think about it, could you have jumped that far in a physical body and not get hurt?’s time to go home…”

I turned around to see a table nearby with another person handling papers, getting the feeling that it is her responsibility to keep track of the paperwork on each. She said, “you did a good job but they have to tell me where ‘home’ is to them!”

I apologized saying I didn’t know everyone had someplace different, as I thought there was only one destination they needed to go to. This person at the table had on these light blue/turquoise colored child’s reading glasses that had words written on the outside of them.

As she looked up at me, I distinctly saw the words, “Happy Birthday” on them, and felt this encounter was given to me as a gift for my 48th birthday coming up the next week!

This morning, I had a series of three OOB experiences for the first time, but this one was the most interesting: After becoming OOB, I went to a large building of sorts (library-type feeling) and was walking around looking at the different items within.

I was walking along, thinking I should find someone to talk to, and there next to me at a desk was a young man (30's? short dark hair, thin frame, had some facial 'birthmarks/dots?' left cheek) and 'spoke' with a British accent. I must have asked him if he minded answering a few questions, and I can distinctly recall that I asked a number of questions that he politely answered.

He was friendly and comfortable to 'talk' to. (His communication was very fuzzy at first, and when I asked for clarity, it cleared). But, unfortunately, I cannot recall anything we discussed!!! I can even remember thinking, 'I wish I had my recorder with me because I'm going to want to remember this’ while we were discussing things.

I felt a tugging while talking with him, said I had to go and he said he understood. I shifted to another scene that didn't make much sense, being in a bedroom talking to an older woman and young black girl. I feel that because of this scene shift so soon after leaving the library, I was unable to recall what was discussed there.

Just before awakening, though, I can recall someone somewhere 'telling' me this is "Journey One - getting to know yourself " (but felt it meant more than just yourself....your personalities, your 'all that you are' feeling).

So, that’s my story to date. I will say that there is so much more details and experiences I have in my dream journal, but for now, I think this will give you a good overview of what I have been experiencing. I am so looking forward to more reading (currently reading Robert Monroe’s Far Journeys with Afterlife Knowledge Guidebook by Bruce Moen in the wings) and more learning!