Blog Archive

Thursday, February 26, 2009

98) Controlling Fear, Sending Love

I moved to the couch about 3am with the intention of attempting to travel. My first recollection was not one of a direct OBE, but it seemed to relate to the general theme of the night’s events so I am writing that here as well.

I found myself in a local shopping mall parking lot at night, looking for a parking space. I notice many other cars there, all trying to squeeze into spots available. I park my car, and start walking toward the building when I notice that the lights are out and I can barely see!

I know I saw a curb and avoided that, trying to remain in the roadway. It became pitch black, and I became aware of others walking near me as I could hear them talking. I sensed a bit of fear, because I didn’t know who these people were and then became aware of ‘hearing’ my own thoughts!

I heard the words, ‘fear’ and ‘bad guy’ and felt like someone was coming after me! I was being forced to the ground, but amazingly I kept under control and just went with the flow, not fighting anything because somehow I ‘knew’ I could not be hurt! The entire experience faded with that thought…and I awoke.

Getting back to sleep with the intention of travel again, I now find myself in full vibrations, knowing I can separate. I roll out as usual, but this time it is the difficult separation in that I felt so heavy and out of control. I could barely move, and it was only with strong affirmations of “to the door!” that I moved to the dining room.

I stopped because I thought I heard someone say something, and asked, “Is anyone there?” I received no response and decided to just move outdoors as I didn’t feel ‘stable’ enough to maintain much of this experience. In hindsight, however, it may have been the man you will read about at the end of this experience.

Moving outdoors, I see the familiar trees in my yard and it gives me validation that I am out. (Despite my frequent OBE’s, I still feel reassured when I see things that validate my experience!) Without a specific destination planned, I use my preferred ‘to my higher self!’ affirmation to go wherever my spirit feels I will learn best.

I zoom up to the dark sky, seeing tiny dots of white lights in the blackness as I move forward. It changes to the sensation of the backward black tunnel – and it continues for quite a while! When it stops, though, I find myself once again back on the couch, feeling like I’m awake!

With hesitating, I just roll back off the couch and once again, find it is heavy and difficult to move. Affirming ‘to the door!’ I move to the front door and still find my movements difficult and not as clear as they can be.

I move to the front yard and still feeling heavy and ‘grounded’ as I lie on the soft grass. Looking up, I see my parent’s house next door, and decide I’d like to just go see what’s going on over there. However, no amount of affirmations or intentions made me move!

As I’m lying there, I’m wondering what’s happening? I look to my hands and see they are ‘glowing’, signaling and validating that I am indeed out of body, just hindered in my movements.

I spy a bit of paper lying near me and I start to pick up the long strip of paper, wondering “what is this for?” It appears to be EKG paper (familiar strips of long paper I use regularly at work in the hospital) and as I move to pick the continuous strip of paper up, I notice it is wrapped completely around my house, from end to end!!

My thoughts at that time were that somehow it was showing me that this experience would be ‘work-related’, but I am still not sure how it is. I also remember thinking, “I can’t let experience go too long as I need to record it”, but then decided I didn’t do too much, so I wouldn’t stop the experience yet!

As I realize there is just too much paper here to pick up, I let go of it…only to find myself immediately back in body on the couch! Thinking I’m awake, but not being sure, I am able to roll out and once again find myself standing in the living room.

This time it was an easy roll out, and I even remember thinking, ‘wow, third time’s the charm!’ As I begin to move away, I am aware of someone standing just behind me, off to my right.

I see the dark shape of a man, with a growling ‘zombie-like’ voice that says, “Give me more medicine now!” He grabs both my hands and holds them tight!

Somehow I am able to maintain control of my fear, even though I’m backing up to move away! I know I can’t be hurt, but it was an intense ‘sound’ to his voice, and the ‘physical’ grasp of his hands was very real!

He repeated “Give me more medicine now!” and I remember thinking I have to do something, but what? So I say, “Go to the Light!” (Not really knowing why I said this!) He continues to hold my hands and growl, so I reaffirm, “go to the Light!”

I have the ‘knowing’ that there is more I need to do, but I cannot think clearly enough to remember with this very real sensation of physical touch. So I add, “go to the Light NOW!” hoping that this would help, only to realize as he released my hands that I should have sent him Love!

I believe this experience was a learning one to show me that I still need some help in remembering that it is Love that conquers all fear! I am able to control the fear, and maintain the experience, however, I need to also remember that in order to help, and I have to send Love in return.

These experiences with fear, both my own created thoughts of fear (as in the parking lot) and actual fear with ‘close’ encounters were given to show me that in order to move ahead, I must learn to emanate Love to all I meet.

Monday, February 23, 2009

William Buhlman Workshops - Please go!

I thought I’d take the time to make sure those of you who are really interested in learning how to dreamwalk and travel out of body are aware of the upcoming workshops to be held by my mentor, Mr. William Buhlman, author of Adventures Beyond the Body and Secrets of the Soul.

As you know, I attended one of his workshops and it was one of the best experiences I ever had! I highly recommend those who are able to attend to do so, you won’t regret it! It may even help you move ahead with your own experiences, just as it did with mine!

See my blog posts #20 and #21 for more details as to what the workshop incorporates and for the OBE I had during that workshop!

If you can, please go!
Be sure to tell Mr. Buhlman, as you will get a chance to talk to him personally, that Karen sent you! :)

Below are the workshop sites and dates, and you can follow this link to find the contact information and more details:

PLEASE GO IF YOU CAN! ...and remember, Karen sent you!

Adventures Beyond the Body Workshops

The Avalon 6185 Arapahoe Rd. Boulder, CO
Located at the base of the Flatirons in the Rocky Mountain Front Range
March 20-22, 2009

Sedona Masonic Lodge, 135 Shrine Road, Sedona, Arizona
A wonderful location situated in the scenic heart of Sedona
April 17-19, 2009

South American Workshop
San Antonio de los Altos, Vía Amarillo, Calle Sur 1, Los Pinitos Villa Rafols, Estado Miranda, Venezuela
May 8-10, 2009

A wonderful B&B location situated in the scenic rolling hills of southern France.
June 13-14, 2009

A great location near the Forum in the heart of Rome
June 20-21. 2009

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

97) NJ connection-Father of five-Jonathan-Rocket-Rapids/slide/work


For this experience, I had set the intention of trying to ‘real time’ connect with NJ and seeing if we were able to send/receive any images, energy, etc. and to have another OBE if possible.

I woke about 1:45am and went to the couch, and can say now that I had a great response from the ‘connection’ with NJ – a tremendous amount of energy and images were validated and correlated by him! :)

Next memory is that I remember I was able to climb OOB, feeling that heavy sensation as if close to physical again. It was dark, but I was able to get my vision improved by pulling off whatever I felt I had around my eyes to see again. I moved away from the couch, because I didn’t want to ‘see’ myself on it (knowing I’d go back in!) and moved to the front door.

I passed my dog Buddy, and remember calling to him, ‘let’s go’ thinking he’d like to accompany me. Facing Buddy, but moving backward, I remember figuring it’d be different to float backwards out the front door, so I did!

It was totally dark, but I put out the intention to zoom up and go see the Earth from space again as a primary destination. Somehow, within that blackness of travel, I felt or was told that I had to go where I was needed.

I next became aware of lying back on the couch, listening to some talk, as if a radio station DJ. It was so clear, and because this has been a ‘signal’ that I’m still OOB, I just let go and enjoyed listening to what was being said. However, I have no memory of what he was talking about!

I realized then that someone was lying on the couch next to me, as I could feel strong male arms wrapped around me! He spoke but so softly that I had to ask him to repeat words at times. Enjoying this ‘closeness’, I figured it was a guide (or someone I wanted it to be!) and didn’t try to intervene.

However, upon further realization that our closeness was much too ‘physical’, (as I could remember what it felt like recently to be with one who is more ‘spiritually’ vibrating), I asked, “who’s here with me?” as I moved away from the couch.

I saw a white male, average build, with straggly blond chin-length hair and unshaven face. He appeared to be angry at someone, telling me emphatically about how his brother did something to him (something about a meal?) I had to change his emotions, and upon hearing he had five sons, I asked more about them. His demeanor changed, and he became the proud happy father, telling me their ages (17, 15, 12, 10, ? ) and I could see I had his attention.

I am not really sure how this ended - however, I do know that the ‘door’ in my living room was important in the final outcome. I know he needed help, and I am guessing that I had to get him to realize there was more for him ‘through the door’ so that he’d go and find his way to the Light.

My next recall is that I am back on the couch, and can hear what sounds like the countdown for a rocket take-off! 5 -4-3-2-1…..I could see a matrix of color and light patterns on the ceiling, as if blinking lights and movement, feeling like I’m about to ‘take off’!!!

I hear the words, “a new beginning” “a new phase just starting” or at least something to that effect. I’m thinking how ‘intense’ it all feels, SO much more than the usual false awakening!! It assumed it was a false awakening as I knew I was on the couch, but this intense ‘feeling’ was something new!

Now, my next recollection IS that of a false awakening, as I hear my son coming into the room, yet I know he’s not really here! He moves to the couch where I am and starts tickling me with a feather in my face to try to wake me!! I knew I had to stay with it and just ‘let go’ to see what happens next.

Lying on the couch, I now feel a small hand next to me, knowing it’s a child. I sit up, and see this young boy around age 10. I ask him his name, and he tells me ‘Jonathan’, and then starts telling me how he hates ‘music class’ and other school problems. Again, I know I have to help and I am not sure what to say or do!

I ask him if anyone is here with him or if he saw any Light. Again, I have only the vaguest memory of the ending, as Jonathan then moved to part of the couch where my head would lie, as if looking for something he lost. I could barely hear what he was saying, and my memory of the ending is lost at this point. I would hope that having Jonathan look for something may have been all that was needed to get him to ‘find’ those who were there to help him.

Once again, because all these events have now passed, I’m aware enough to know that I have to get something recorded or all will be lost! I find my recorder, and sure enough, it’s in pieces!! This time, however, I KNOW it’s not true, so I force myself to awaken a bit more and try to find it again.

For a second and even a third time, (!) I found my recorder in pieces, but each time knowing I just had to force myself awake a bit more so that I could record it! Until I woke completely and actually recorded what I could remember, I was so ‘deep’ that I knew I could have moved back into another OBE easily, however, I wanted to have as much as I could recorded!

After recording, I did go back OOB one more time, and this time definitely met my guide who gave me a ‘hand squeeze’ while I was traveling to let me know it was him! I will post here the beginning of the experience, but not its entirety as it had a lot to do with my personal learning and would not be as interesting.

What is interesting about this last experience is how I took control and changed the experiences to fit my needs and move OOB. I remember trying to get back to my ‘car’ (aka body, symbolically I believe) after being somewhere. I found my car sitting in water, as the ice that it had previously been parked on had melted to a great degree!

The only way I was going to get back, was to try to step upon this submerged ‘stone’ in the water, to use as a stepping stone to reach the car. The water was deep, dirty, and murky, and I was fearful of falling into it. (Symbolism for the subconscious (water) and the ‘unclean/unhealthy’ emotions that melted into it?)

Of course, trying to step upon this stone, I did slip and fall completely into the water!! However, instead of panic and fear, I somehow knew that I just had to ‘let go’ once again, and take control. I could feel the water as it seeped up around my head and ears, and decided I was not going to stay here! I made the intention that this water was river rapids to get some movement going.

The movement started and the clean bubbling water was so refreshing and fun! Now the movement became faster and I sat up as if on a slide, enjoying the swaying and swishing fun that a long mountainous slide would give me!

This is where I became aware of arms around me again, and as I put my arms up to enjoy the ride (like you see on roller coasters!), I grabbed the hands of the one behind me and he gave me this ‘knowing’ squeeze as if to let me know that all is going to be ok! This one was definitely my guide or another close spiritual friend!

We had so much fun on the slide, and at the bottom when it was time to ‘shoot off’ the end of it, there was such an intense energy shift that my guide/friend had to hold on tight to me to prevent my separation from him! The experience then changed to one that gave me a personal message of learning, which appropriately fits the beginning symbolism of this experience.

Thanks for hanging in and reading this long experiences have certainly been kicked up a notch in their intensity and degree of learning. I hope by sharing these experiences, everyone who reads these can also know that they too CAN do this!

I am no one special, with the same abilities as everyone...the first step is always just taking note of what you remember in your 'dreams' and and write/record them! After a while you become 'aware' that you are dreaming while in it, and that's when you take control!

As always, any insight is greatly appreciated!!

Friday, February 13, 2009

96a) Plane Crash Update!

I thought I should put a post here after hearing of the horrible plane crash in my home state of New York near Buffalo (about a 6 hour drive from my house) - In reading the news releases I am astounded at the similarity of this crash and my description from 2/1/09:

I ‘awoke’ from sleep, watching a small airplane move past my window followed by a much larger passenger jet that was very low to the ground! I was concerned because I ‘felt’ something was wrong and watched in horror as this large passenger jet made a sharp turn and began a nose-dive to the ground!

I became even MORE concerned when I realized how close this airliner was going to crash, almost
in my front yard! Now it is interesting what I did next – I was lying in bed, thinking it is early morning nearly time to get up for work, next to my husband, watching this plane nose-dive in a most certain crash in my front yard….I immediately ‘resigned’ myself, calmly and quietly, to my impending death in the assumed fireball explosion, (knowing there was no where to run), and quickly reached over to my husband to give a hug before I passed over.

The similarity of the 'nose-dive' by eyewitnesses, into only my front yard (damage was not widespread), and even one survivor's name being Karen (wife) is just too eerie! And it happened in my home state of New York! (Not to mention the fact that her last name is very familiar sounding to me for some reason!!!)

But I do want to allay any fears for those who remember reading my post to let them know it was not me!

I have been extremely busy and caught up with life lately, yet still have been having OBEs and learning experiences that are showing me that I am being 'worked on' in some way "to make the outer like the inner".... One experience in particular I may share should nothing more interesting show up soon!!

Thanks to those who send emails of concern...I am fine, just very busy!