65) Multiple Exits - Pet Reunion

I went to my ‘traveling’ couch about 3am as per my routine, in the hopes that I could finally get settled enough to do some traveling again. I have been so busy lately, that I have not had the time or energy to focus my intent properly to get OOB.

This time, though, I knew I had to be sure I was not losing my abilities since it seemed to be such a long time since my last conscious experience. So, I’m on the couch, with my black lab, Buddy, (who follows me everywhere!) sleeping on floor next to me.

I became aware of floating sensation, a signal I am very familiar with, and I get excited! Whether it was excitement, with eager anticipation and premature roll out or just plain lack of ‘practice’, the first OOB roll out was very difficult! I remember feeling very, very strong pulling energy, fighting for every inch of separation, until exasperated and defiant that I was NOT going to lose this chance, I very strongly intended ‘TO THE DOOR!’ which made full separation and movement to the front door.

Once out of the front door, I remembered I wanted to do ‘Inward Now’ to give me a chance to learn more about myself. I had the usual feeling of blackness and movement, then find myself in a room, with an overall feeling of ‘blue color’ (male?) and birthday party. The room was sparse, with objects lying around (no recall as to what though).

I remember heading up some carpeted narrow stairs to a bedroom on the right. As I enter, I see two twin beds on the left with a sink with water running (something in sink?) on the right. I turned farther to the left to see rest of room, and could see a room (bathroom?) with the light on.

I felt someone was in there, and as I look down I see an infant (few months old - girl - dark hair) sleeping on floor. There was a woman there I ‘felt’ to be someone similar to a coworker, yet may only have been someone who looked a bit like her. There was no interaction that I can recall except that she was happy despite having to live in such cramped, but homey, quarters.

I was aware enough to know that I had to start ‘memorizing’ words to remember my traveling as there was lots of little things I did (feeling of relearning?) and the ability to remember was one of them. Again, I know I had the recorder in my hand and was talking into it, yet upon fully waking realized I hadn’t moved and the recorder was still on my nightstand. So much may have been lost due to the fact that I was in a ’false awakening’ and I thought it was already recorded!

Again, after recording for real, I settle back and realize I’m again in full vibrations, knowing I could just roll out again.

It was much easier to separate, and I decide to go out the side door this time, passing by my sleeping dog. As I passed, I heard him (as usual) get up to accompany me! (He has accompanied me previously on my OOBE’s as you can read in the blog)

I take notice to feel that ‘tingly’ change in texture as I pass through the side door, with Buddy at my heels. Once outside on the deck, I am trying desperately to clear up my vision, as it was so dark! I remember saying "clarity now!" and “I can see now!” yet nothing worked. So as usual when I’m frustrated, I figure I’d just jump up and take off without regard for where I was going.

As I jump, I feel Buddy clamp down (bite, but no pain) on my left hand yet give no thought to the fact that maybe I should stay here. (As I did before in another experience when my dog tried to stop me by clamping onto my hand.) I turn, say to him, ‘aw, come on Buddy, come with me!’ and I pick him up, curl him under my arm (this would be no small feat in real life!! lol) then jumped.

I knew I wanted to go up, but found myself having difficulty in flying. I try to do my flips and fun stuff, but was awkward and slow. (I am now thinking that this may have been due to the fact that I had my dog with me, and his fear – that I know he had in a previous OOB) might be giving me the difficulties. I keep trying, saying, ‘let’s go up, go up into space’ and I can still see I’m not moving well, as the tops of the trees remain above me.

Rather frustrated, yet defiant that I can do this, I say “I’m a rocket!” and use the imagery of shooting up into space! I now feel the shooting up, anticipating seeing galaxies and the beauty of outer space (I remember thinking how wonderful it was previously). Nothing appeared, and I once again found myself back on the couch.

This time, the floating feeling tells me I’m ready to roll out, which I do easily. I repeat the same sequence going to the side door, hearing Buddy once again accompany me, and feeling that texture change as I pass through the door.

Once again, as I try to jump off the deck, Buddy takes my left hand in his mouth, and I pick him up. This time, however, I had second thoughts of taking off (I remembered the last experience) and said maybe I’m supposed to stay down low here. So I float off the deck, landed on black top area, which appeared to be part of a path with a park-like feeling to it.

Buddy is at my side now, and I was so surprised to see a little dog trotting up to us! It was a neighbor’s dog that Buddy used to play with who died a few years ago! She greets Buddy nose to nose, as I pet them both saying, “well, Buddy, look who’s here!!”

I wake shortly thereafter and record all I can recall. I know in terms of ‘wow’ experiences this may not be one, however, I am satisfied that I still have the ability to get OOB and in this case, may have helped my older dog also realize that his own friends are still around to visit!

64a) Purpose Value and Usefulness for Traveling OOB

I was just recently asked a very good question that I thought I'd share my response to.

"While I'm very open to any experience that comes along, I wonder what would be the purpose, value, usefulness, benefit to me to actually seek OBE?"

I am sure there are many out there who ask the same thing, and for every individual it will have a different answer. You alone will have to decide what it is that drives you to seek this ability and for what reason.

I will share my belief as to the purpose, value, usefulness and benefit of these OOB experiences as they relate to me.

Initially, the excitement of getting 'out' was sufficient reason to seek this experience. I have always understood that we are more than just physical beings, having a spiritual energy inside that drives our consciousness from within. Somehow, even though I understood this, there was always that tiniest degree of human self-doubt that persisted.

So, with the OOBEs and that feeling of 'separation' of spirit, (yet not fully separate), validated this belief immensely. There is no doubt at all now, and it is such peace of mind and comfort to absolutely, positively KNOW that we will continue on after death and in an even higher level of performance than we currently have now.

After a few times out, I realized I was always learning something new - whether it was how to handle moving through objects, interacting with other spirits, or even just 'thought control' (dual consciousness, thoughts in action, etc). I was amazed at the levels of learning I was accomplishing, and every time I thought I just couldn't do more, more was shown to me.

I truly believe we are absolutely limitless in our abilities, yet we are also very much restricted by our physical 'minds' to understand the full capabilites we have. There are no restrictions once OOB, and for the physical mind to comprehend this, it takes baby steps to learn. This learning of new, unimaginable experiences is currently my reason and purpose for seeking these OOB experiences.

Every experience adds to my learning, and the more I seek, the more I find. Putting constraints on your efforts by limiting your reasons for doing this will only hinder your learning - you need to be open to any and all experiences.

I love to use the 'Inward Now' affirmation as William Buhlman suggests, as it has always taken me to areas where I personally need to learn something. Once you realize the only person you have any control over at all is yourself, then you can take an interest in making your 'self' the best it can be.

For me, it is the constant learning and experiencing of new events, whether it is in 'real life' or in 'spirit'/astral that drives my 'self'. I will never stop learning or seeking to improve myself in any way that I can.

As my personal motto states, 'the more we learn, the more limitless the universe becomes!'

I hope this answers your question. I appreciate you giving me the chance to explain my reasons for seeking these experiences.

Real Life Always Takes Over

I thought I'd post a quick note here to let everyone know that this time in my life is extremely full of 'real life' events that take a lot of physical and psychological energy away from me.

With this, there is always the lessening of 'travel', and more personal type issues being shown to me in my dreams that I don't feel would benefit my visitors at this time.

I do wish to thank everyone for taking the time to check in on my blog and read my posts - Some of you have contacted me and I am so pleased to help as I can with your own experiences!

Keep the emails coming if you have questions - it does help to remind me that there is SO much more to our lives than just the 'real life' events coming at me!! lol

I wish I was able to know who it is that visits my blog and share in the tremendous amount of knowledge that must be out there! For now, I'm happy to see that the counter at the bottom of the page keeps going up - so that tells me SOMEONE is reading my posts!! lol

Thanks to everyone who visits for their time....

-Karen

64) False Awakening with Simultaneous Consciousness & Woman in Bedroom

7/05/08 (Part 3 of previous experience)

I thought I was awake as I heard a pager or cellphone (set on vibrate) going off in the other room. This brought me to awareness, but despite my thinking I was completely awake, it was to be a false awakening.

I now hear birds outside my bedroom window (as I do often in the AM), but this time I’m talking to the one bird that loudly responding back. I’m trying to convince the bird to come here because I need it to ‘translate’ for me! I remember raising my right hand up, as if making a perch for it to come sit on.

At the same time, I am also aware there is a woman at the base of the bed, talking and talking, not making much sense, as I am not really paying attention to her words.

I remember I had a phone in one hand and my recorder in the other, and began moving them so that the recorder was near my heart in my left hand and the phone was further down on the bed.

So now I thought, ‘wait, I really wasn’t awake with the bird because I wouldn’t have had my recorder so far away from me!’ (First ‘false awakening’ realization)

I am still listening to the woman continue to talk and talk, not understanding her because I’m paying her no attention. (Odd that I’m not wondering why this woman is in my bedroom! lol)

I am aware that my husband gets up out of bed (for real!) at this point while she is still talking to me!

She says something like, ‘well I’ll just have to wait here’ (until I gave her some attention?) I was surprised to feel hands on my toes, moving them, to tell me where she was. I could feel the solid recorder in left hand, holding something else very solid feeling in my right hand.

At that point, my husband comes out of the bathroom, and I become fully awake – realizing there is nothing in my hands, my feet were no longer being touched, and no strange woman standing at the base of the bed! (Second ‘false awakening’ realization)

This was a most unusual experience for me, to have part consciousness of ‘real life’ happenings along with my altered state of consciousness still being aware of other realms and people. I’m not sure if I again missed an opportunity to help someone, or if I was just being shown another experience I have never had before.

63) Words of Wisdom - Our Experiences Here

7/05/08 Part 2 of previous experience

After coming back to bed, (no longer on my ‘traveling couch’ lol), I feel asleep but became aware of being lucid within an experience. I was being shown this poster, a beautiful sunset-colored design (red-orange-yellow) that had a beautiful short poem on it that I was so in awe of.

For the life of me I cannot remember much of the poem!! The only words I recall was the rhyming words of ‘fast’ and ‘past’ on two lines, with single word lines near the end that seems to mean a thousand words in one. (This is so difficult to describe accurately.)

What I did get out of it was the overall meaning that was intended, and I put it into my own words as I slowly became more conscious. The words that I recorded were these:

Don’t ever wonder (question) whether God/Oneness exists, that He does not exist when things don’t go the way you would like them to.

You are here to do the experiencing for Him/Us, as we are all pieces of the same Oneness. Whatever we do, experience, or learn, we do, experience, or learn as a part of Ourselves.

How would He know what it is that you would want or experience when you get here, as it is your thoughts and desires that would drive and shape the experiences for Him/Us.

This is a bit more belief-oriented than I usually share on my blog; however, I do feel it is an important bit of advice to share. This strongly fits my belief that anything we do to help even one other person, we do for ourselves. Thoughts ARE things (even here in the physical world), and it is your intention by thought (by focusing on the end result desired, not how it will happen) that brings you to what you desire and experience.

It could be this was just a personal message for me, although I have never questioned the existence of the Universal One. I know, because I am a part of it and there is SO much more to this life and our universe than our conscious physical mind can comprehend. Stay open to any and all possibilities, as our universe is truly limitless – it is only our own beliefs and attitudes that limit the possibilities.

62) Solar System Visit & Spies

7/05/08

I realize I have to start labeling my experiences by what I have encountered so that upon review at a later date, I can easily find that which I can looking for! (especially with these multiple visits in one night!)

I remember becoming aware I was in full vibrations, and excited to think I was about to get out. As it has been a while for me, I remember I actually had to ‘calm’ my emotions to prevent disrupting the process.

Still feeling the vibrations, steady and strong, I became (again) impatient with the process (that’s me! lol) and just decided to roll out and stand up. I felt pulling at my head level, as if I wasn’t completely separated (probably because of my impatience!), yet was determined to do so and remember thinking, “I’m out!!”, and then felt the full separation.

I said ‘to the door!’ and found myself easily passing through my front door and out into the yard. I recall there was darkness again (common for first separation) and had to affirm ‘clarity now!’ twice before I was able to see clearly.

I recall I was amazed (again) at my clear, rational thinking I was able to do while out of body. Many times before, once I am out, I just seem ‘programmed’ to do things without thinking, but now the last few experiences I have been ‘allowed’ to think for myself and remember what I consciously wanted to recall once out.

I do feel that this is an achievement for me, as this process of being able to ‘know’ that thoughts are things so quickly in the astral environment, that once you learn control of your ‘conscious thoughts’ while out of body, then you are allowed to do so.

Anyway, I know I am out, and of course, I also knew that I had to do my usual flying and zooming to just enjoy that freedom, which I did. I was clearly thinking enough to ‘know’ however, that I had plans to ‘help someone’ this time out, so I didn’t spend much time enjoying myself.

So now I’m ready to ‘work’ and I affirm ‘Inward now!’ as I do a little spin to the left as I pick up my feet. I experience the most wonderful sensation of floating and moving that I have ever felt after affirming this. Usually it’s a dark tunnel, falling backward sensation, but this time I was softly floating through so many swirls and ‘layers’ of colors and music!! I particularly listened to the different notes playing, trying to impress the sounds within me so I could recall their immense beauty upon awakening.

At this point, I am shown this HUGE ball of white light, so bright it was difficult to look at! It was as if I was watching an explosion of sorts (at least that’s how it registered) and then it condensed into these millions and billions of tiny white sparkles. I was aware I was still traveling, faster than I have ever experienced, toward these immense sparkles of white light.

I watched as one area condensed even further into a more ‘solid’ appearance, and took the form of a solar system, with many planets circling the center white light. The impression I had was that I was watching the ‘birth’ of a solar system, all the while coming closer and closer to one specific planet within a specific solar system at a speed I have never experienced before. I had absolutely no fear, just total awe at what I was experiencing.

I was able to see the surface of this planet, and knew it was nothing I could even relate to. There were large neutral colored grid-like areas on the surface, giving the impression of buildings or sections. I was only allowed to get within a few feet of the surface, and was totally astounded as I watched the inhabitants go about their lives.

The most unusual aspect here were the inhabitants who appeared to be one-dimensional and of a ‘cartoon-like’ shape, with very little ‘substance’ to their bodies. I can still picture these people, (opaque, whitish, ‘flat’, and non-specific in shape), but that is the best I can describe them. I knew I was not allowed to interact with them, but did enjoy seeing this unusual environment. (Most likely the forms of these inhabitants were not easily applied to my conscious mind’s acceptance, therefore the best it could relate them to would be a ‘cartoon-like’ appearance.)

I then faded back to awareness on the couch, but also knew that I did not get to ‘help someone’ as I requested and was determined to continue on with an experience. At some point, I was aware I was pressing down firmly with my feet, and upon realizing I was doing that, just relaxed them. Immediately they floated up, signaling I was ready to go OOB.

Once again, I rolled out before I could fully awaken and found myself ‘to the door!’ and then outside. I flew up to the roof of my house, and was surprised to hear a herd of deer running past my house, as if frightened by something.

I watch as a few ran to one side, and more ran to the other side where they were cornered. Wondering what could have caused this ‘stampede’, I then heard voices below the area where I was on the roof. I jumped down to where they were to listen in, and found myself immediately being ‘spoken’ to as if I was a member of their group. (I recall I was surprised I was able to be seen – yet went along with what was happening – I now think I may have actually entered/become one of the people below.)

I was directly told, “You need to get the copy of the ID card on (name?)”, getting the feeling like I was to be a ‘spy’ of sorts in retrieving this information from another member they were suspicious of. I asked, “Why do I need to get a copy of the ID card?” and was given such a look from the members as if they were amazed that I would even ask such a thing! I just didn’t pursue the questioning further and accepted this gadget they handed me. It looked as if it was part magnifying glass and electronic scanner of sorts.

I had the knowing that it was to be my job to get friendly enough with the intended person to hand me his ID card so that I could ‘scan’ it for the information it held. (My impression again was that this ID card held much more information about the individual than I could even imagine and it was that ‘other’ information that they needed.)

Playing with this gadget, I remember holding it up to the moonlight (as you can do with sunlight) to focus the light into a small intense white light. (I thought that was cool it could do that, so I played with it for a while… but it also gave me the recall that it was nighttime this was occurring.)

I hear someone coming from the other side of my house, and know that it is someone who is part of our ‘group’ and he shouts a friendly hello to me as we recognize each other. (I had the feeling that this individual may have been the one I was supposed to copy the ID card from.) He was telling me about a party he was at (another friend of ours) where the female was celebrating her 42nd birthday, and I recall joking and laughing, “well, I wish I could celebrate that age again!” indicating that I was much older than 42 in that experience.

Unfortunately, I faded back to awareness, and quickly did my one-word associations to help in my recall of this two-part OOBE. I awoke and recorded these experiences, and went back upstairs to bed.

I had two other episodes of lucid awareness and false awakening this same morning, but I will continue them on in another post on the blog. Stand by for more!

61) 'Seeing' Guides - Positive Thoughts

I set the ‘intent’ this time to ‘connect with my guide(s)’, as I’m having a rough spell in physical life that I felt seeing or hearing from them would help my outlook on things. I usually like to use the ‘inward now’, however, I have not had the intense satisfaction I have had in the past using it. (Probably because of my ‘rough spell’ I’m going through!)

After my usual visualizations of energy raising and white light, I became aware of my only left leg floating up from my body. Not wanting to wait for the rest of the body to separate, I just quickly rolled out (actually felt like I jumped out!) and once again found myself in the living room next to where I was sleeping on the couch.

I moved quickly away from where I exited, as I could again feel that ‘tug’ of energy wanting to pull me back. Once I was across the room, the tugging ceased and I was free to roam about. Finding myself next to the bathroom, I thought I heard someone up and inside the room, but didn’t stay around to investigate.

I attempt to remember what it was that I wanted to do, and I am always thrilled when I am able to easily recall now what it is that I set ‘intent’ to do each time! I knew I didn’t want ‘inward now’, but to see/connect with my guide/s. I look around for anyone, but for some reason didn’t think to call out to them.

I moved to the dining room, again with clear vision, looking toward the driveway that separates my house from my parents. I see headlights coming down the driveway, and I also take notice that it is still dark outside, yet everything has this ‘glow’ about it to make all things visible, even within the house.

I watch as the car pulls out the driveway, I am suprised to hear myself say, ‘well, there goes my entire family’, as I look within the large capacity car, counting the people. I can clearly see two rows of four in the back, with 5-6 in the front. I can now see their faces clearly, but then realize these people are NOT my actual family here now. I do sense a strong familiarity about them but there is no interaction, no communication - just my watching them drive past my house.

I didn’t know what else to do, so I moved straight through the side door to the porch, and just took off zooming along the tops of the trees, as I always enjoy doing. I wanted to get some speed up, to see how fast I could go. I zoomed at an angle up toward the sky, at one point seeing a jetliner pass very close by, and waiting to feel for that ‘rush’ of air current. I remember smiling as I felt it, and continued zooming upward, seeing two other smaller planes pass by as well.

Becoming bored, I then decided I’d just go straight up to outer space and see what I could find there. (I have previously been there, in that quiet blackness looking toward earth, and enjoyed the peacefulness I felt.) This time, however, as I travel upward at mach speed and feel the changes, I begin to feel some (physical belief) fears creeping in about being able to withstand being in space.

Knowing that the appearance of fears will quickly end an experience, I remember that I don’t have to ‘travel’ to get where I want to go. I can just ‘be there’. So I say, “I am there now” with the feeling that I am going to be wherever I am supposed to end up. (I just wasn’t clear on my destination, hence that statement I assume!)

I now find myself in the center of a small town square, with buildings on four sides, walking around seeing no one. I peek into some of the glass doors just off the street, and I had this impression it’s a town where anything you want, anything you need is there. It just appears as you want it. I wonder why I see no one else here, is it possible that they all have what they want already and don’t need to be here? I then begin to lose my awareness at that point and sadly become aware of being back in my body on the couch.

I will mention here that I have just finished the book by Abraham/Esther & Jerry Hicks regarding the Universal Law of Attraction and found it fascinating. Using many of their suggestions over the past weeks, I am beginning to believe even more strongly now that ‘thoughts are things’ and you DO create what you are thinking.

Finding the positive in any situation, no matter how difficult it may be, will only give you MORE positive experiences. Dwelling on the negative, will only bring you more negative experiences. My latest mantra is, “I intend to see only that which I WANT to see” and it’s working!

60) Clear Vision with Exit - Assumed Invisibility

6/22/08 5am

I first became aware of getting out as my feet floated up out of my body as I lie on the couch. For the first time, I could SEE my legs rising, as my vision immediately was focused and clear even before getting fully out of body! They appeared transparent and foggy white, and I was just amazed!

(Before this time, I would always be ‘blind’ as I exited, feeling the sensations of moving out but not seeing until I was fully out and ‘intending’ to see)

I remember saying to myself, ‘wow this is the clearest I have ever seen!’ I affirmed “to the door!” but remember being clever in wanting to drift outside feet first! I clearly remember the sensation of passing through the front door feet first, feeling its texture change down my entire body as I went through.

Once outside, I again enjoyed the freedom of being out, doing loops and flips to totally experience this OOB sensation. After satisfying my need for ‘freedom’, I remember I had set the intention for this travel of using “Inward Now!” affirmation (as William Buhlman suggests for personal development while OOB). Immediately, I realize I am traveling through blackness once again.

I find myself in a city, walking down a sidewalk, and seeing people also going my way toward a ‘waiting area’ of sorts at the end of a grassy island. I try to talk to a female who is passing and I find her response is totally unintelligible. Moving on down to where more are ‘waiting’ (for ? ), I realize I am unable to interact with anyone and am feeling useless.

Becoming discouraged, I remember I can change my location by re-stating “Inward now!” and spinning myself to the left, which works immediately. Again, blackness and a moving sensation, and I find myself becoming aware that I’m back on the couch, thinking I had another uneventful OOBE!

As I ‘open’ my eyes (so I think!), I am amazed to see that this is NOT my house! I try to focus on what differences there are to help in my recall. The room appears the same size and shape, yet there are walls with papers tacked to it on a bulletin board where there should be doorways. Long blue vertical blinds cover the area where my front door should be, and so I get up to investigate further.

Now, I realized I am not in my own house, and walk to the blinds to look outside. I get the feeling this is an old farmhouse, with a front porch, and I watch as an older model vehicle (truck?) pulls away from the front of the house.

It is nighttime, and I decided to walk through the rest of the house. The first room I enter is a bedroom with three little girls (ages 2-10?) Two big beds were there, one young girl was awake and reading (?) and one little girl was asleep on the floor next to the other bed. (I had the feeling she just preferred the floor to sleep on, not that she didn’t have a bed.)

They did not interact with me, so I assumed I was not able to be seen. I moved to another bedroom and there I saw a big double bed with 2-3 other twin beds in it, with young boys sleeping here with the parents in the larger bed. It was dark, and I realized that no one was aware of my presence, and I did not recognize any of them.

Feeling a bit intrusive, I moved to the bottom of the larger bed and listened as the father was discussing things with the mother. It seems as though there were money issues, and the father was becoming upset and irritated at what was happening with them, as he felt he was not having enough money to support his family. The mother wasn’t saying too much, and the father became frustrated to the point where he was loud and stormed out of the bedroom.

I followed him out of the room, and then saw the oldest of the girls standing outside her bedroom, closing the door gently. I only heard part of what she was saying “…that old booger…” (meaning her father), being concerned that he would wake her sisters.

I was stunned as she turned to face me, and said, “Well, Karen, that was my dad!” I was totally caught off guard, as I didn’t think anyone could see me, much less talk to me! I felt at a total loss for words, and I think what do I say to her??

The first thing I say is, ‘well, how does that make you feel?’ trying to elicit a direction to take this conversation. I then felt this may have been the wrong thing to say, so I tried to counter it with, ‘what kind of work does your father do?’

At this point I start fading back to awareness, and realized I am not going to be able to continue this conversation. Whether it was due to my inappropriate questioning, or whether I had finished this experience, I don’t know. I was left with the feeling that I may have not handled this one as well as I should have.

As for experiences, although I may not have finished it well, I am happy to know that I have this new experience of ‘seeing’ while exiting. Only once before did I partially ‘see’ myself while out of body, and it was the same white ethereal foggy appearance. (At that time, I was lying in bed, but could see the reflection in the bureau mirror next to my bed of only my arm floating above my body! It appeared as if made of tiny ‘spider web’ strings, transparent and white.)

Perhaps this experience also showed me that I should not ‘assume’ I cannot be seen or heard, as this is what I felt both with the initial ‘city’ environment as well as the farmhouse.

As always, I look forward to any insight anyone may have on this experience.

59) Facing Negativity Again - Shield Up!!

June 15, 2008 5am

I was once again on the couch, as it now has become my favorite place to have experiences. Although I have had a few OOBEs while in bed, the majority has been from this comfy couch and I feel I have now associated it with traveling!

The first I became aware of getting out, I found my legs floating up and separating. I easily rolled my upper torso completely out off the couch and stood. It was probably the easiest separation I had ever had, and to my dismay, heard the chimes from the clock go off and found myself completely back in body!

Not discouraged (but rather disappointed!), I fell back into my routine to re-exit. This time, once I became aware of time to separate, it wasn’t as easy but I was able to roll off successfully to standing position. Moving ‘to the door!’ gave me time to think “what was it that I wanted to do today?”

This time I had set the intention to just ‘meet someone to talk to’, but always having the wish to help someone in the back of my mind. I remember once again getting outdoors and just enjoying the freedom of flight, but it was different than usual. I was in total blackness, not seeing where I was going, but fully aware I was ‘flying’ into and through various objects as I could feel the texture changes.

Surprisingly, I really didn’t care WHAT it was I was flying through, and just enjoyed the fact that no matter what I encountered, I knew I was safe and could not be harmed. Little did I know this was just a prelude to what I was really going to encounter soon!

I am also aware I went somewhere next that was exciting and fun, but have absolutely no recall of! I can only assume that this was one of those ‘higher learning’ levels that are difficult to recall that was in preparation for my next encounter. (Odd thing is, though, I KNOW I remembered what I did when I was waking slowly, but by the time I had enough word associations to remember all the rest, this part was totally forgotten!)

So, from what I do recall, I found myself appearing in this darkened living room/waiting room of sorts, with comfortable couches and chairs and perhaps a small reception area. Standing there, I call out, ‘is anyone here?’ and was surprised to see movement in one of the chairs to my right.

Going over, I see a small older woman (initially I thought child), crouched in the chair and asked her name. She tells me (S…..?) and I ask if I can help her? She tells me ‘no, but you need to see Mr. Whittley in the back.’

I thanked her and moved on, trying to stamp her name in my memory, but she starts rambling on again about the (C….?) family who knows Dina, and just visited Mrs. ???? This causes me to say, ‘wait, too many names, I can’t remember them all!’ (I’m always bad with names, and this may have been a way for me to just let go of her name, which by then I totally forgot, except that it started with an S!)

So, I’m going down this hallway with many windows on the left, a wall on the right, and look down to the end where I can see a right turn and a dark bedroom. I ‘feel’ that Mr. Whittley is in the bedroom, perhaps an older frail man who may need some help in passing, I assume. (Never assume….even in the astral!! Lol)

As I turn the right corner by the bedroom door, I am shocked and startled by the presence of this HUGE dark ball of negativity that is just outside the doorway! I can feel its radiating waves of ‘heat-like’ negativity coming at me and it causes me to feel totally defenseless and slightly fearful as it caught me completely off guard!!

I hear a deep, strong, male voice from the ball of negativity LOUDLY state, “You were supposed to sign a bondage contract!!”

Quickly and quietly, I also hear another soft male voice (from somewhere next to me) tell me, ‘Put your shield up!’ which immediately brought me back to the awareness that I am in control of any situation in OOB and my fear vanished. I know I stated strongly to myself (thought actually), “I am strong, I am safe!” and that enabled me to continue on. (I just don’t know where I get this courage from OOB….but I’m glad I do!)

I talked with this ball of negativity, not totally remembering exactly what I said, but the ending part was, “There is so much out there for you! Why don’t you come with me? There is so much fun out there...so much joy...so much….LOVE!....Come on, come with me!” as I turned to the windows that were behind me and flew out.

I am not sure what happened to that negativity or Mr. Whittley after that, and honestly, I don’t know if that was just a way for me to escape the situation or not. I cannot tell you the final outcome, but I can only hope that the negativity and/or Mr. Whittley found some help in my appearance there.

The experience surprisingly didn’t end there, because I now found myself back in the living room where I’m sleeping and looking out the window by the couch. I play with the glass, trying to put my hands and head through it, but can’t! It just causes it to stretch outward, and I think, “that’s odd, let’s try the wall.” I can easily put my hands through the wall, feeling the different textures, and the coolness outside. I can even ‘feel’ the stone chimney that I know is next to the window outside!

Feeling like I’m getting ‘lighter awareness’ signaling an end to the experience, I try to prolong it by moving to the door. I knew I was ‘running out of energy’ and it took a lot of effort just to get to the front door.

I hear water falling (knowing I have a waterfall pond outside the front door) and go outside. It appears to be raining, and I stand under a rainfall runoff, like taking a little shower, just enjoying the coolness and refreshing feel of the rain water as it hits me. I awaken fully at that time.

Dream Recall Advice

The key is a slow awakening, trying to keep in that semi-awake state of mind long enough to make some single word associations that will enable you to recall the sequence of events.

Sometimes, when you realize that you are losing the info quickly, grab onto one piece you remember from the end of the dream and work backward trying to recall what happened just previous. Backward recall works best - even when you think you have it all - some more pieces may come as you are writing it all down.

For me, I just can't write the details fast enough, so I have my little voice recorder (nice pocket sized digital recorder) I keep on the nightstand and grab that as soon as I feel I have enough word associations to start talking. Many of my experiences are actually recorded from the end to the beginning, as one association creates recall of another.

In time, it gets a bit easier, but still frustrating also as you will always have those experiences when you awaken, knowing you had a WONDERFUL time, yet have absolutely no recall!! Some experiences, however, are just not meant to be recalled and you have to accept it, knowing your 'inner mind' has learned from or experienced it.

Of course, the more you write, the more your conscious mind takes notice that this is an important aspect of learning for you, and will work with you to try to help you remember more often. Intending to remember, as well as showing intent by recording ALL experiences, will go far in dream recall.

Traveling by Car - Symbolism

6/13/08

It is interesting that I find I'm frequently driving in cars in the beginning of my OOBEs, as cars are your mind's version of the physical body in which you are 'traveling' in. I think it's also more of a perception your 'rational' mind needs to have in order to make 'sense' of the fact that you are really 'one within a vehicle', as well as 'one who is able to leave the vehicle' at will.

Funny thing, a good example of this happened just this am - I was pleasantly surprised to find myself trying to get OOB, without having made any intention of it prior to sleep!

Initially, I found myself on a swing hanging from a tree, and could feel the 'pull' of the swing as I wanted to go higher. I 'knew' then that I was able to get out since this 'spinning & pulling' sensation is a common signal for me that I can. However, this time, nothing would budge me from my body!

I immediately became aware I am once again driving a car, only this time heading across the 'roof' of a building, knowing full well that at the end of the building I would need to fly!!! I distinctly remember thinking fearfully for a few split seconds that, 'oh no, what if I'm really driving and don't fly?'

But my 'all-knowing' mind kicked in and let me know that I would be able to, especially if I visualized the car to morph into a car-plane type vehicle, complete with little airplane wings on its sides!!! lol

Of course, it worked!! and I soon found myself flying all over OOB, enjoying the freedom of being out. I still recall having that little bit of doubt that I was really out of body as I stood in front of a tree, but said, 'well, if I'm out, I can zoom up the tree!", which of course I did!!!

There was a lot more to this story with some sort of storm I went through, and the storm I encountered ended shortly before the start of the Bejing Olympics!! How's that for crazy!?!? I just haven't had the time to write this fully yet.

The moral of this long bit is that I believe your 'rational conscious' mind needs to have associations it can deal with - and in order to get my fears under control to allow me to separate, I had to devise a plan that would be acceptable to the rational mind so that I could continue on with my journey!

58) Birthday Gift - Near Physical OBE

June 6, 2008 My Birthday Gift

I had the intention that I would like to celebrate my birthday with an OOBE that would help someone. Little did I know that the Universe felt that “I” needed the help more than others that day!

My first recall was that again I was driving a car down a local road, and saw some birds in the center of the road. One flew off as I got near, however, one didn’t move, narrowly being missed by my car. Thinking, “wow, that was weird he didn’t fly off as they always do” made me realize, ‘hey wait, I’m dreaming!’

I then attempted to move away from the car, without any success, and realized I could now feel my arms waving over my head in bed. Knowing this was my key to separation, I used strong intention to ‘roll off’ the bed, which I did! I found myself standing, looking at the floor near my dresser, trying to steady myself as I’m wobbling all over the place!

I tried to move my feet and walk, immediately realizing, ‘hey wait, I don’t have to walk!’ and just said ‘to the door!’ which moved me immediately. I then proceeded down the stairs, recalling that I could see my dog Buddy once again coming from the living room to join me!

As I walk into the living room, it is shaped the same, but totally devoid of the ‘regular’ furniture. There is ‘stuff’ all over the floor, nothing specific I can recall, just various items lying around. My first impression was that someone was ‘moving in?’ and as I moved into the room, could see clearly the old fashioned silver Christmas tree I remember from childhood years sparkling with its multicolored lights.

As I walked around, I am trying to concentrate and recall just what was it that I wanted to do? (This is common with my OOBEs in that my ‘conscious’ mind recall as to my intentions are sometimes difficult to remember while OOB). I remember thinking, ‘no, I didn’t want to do ‘inward now’ as I would normally do, and then remembered ‘birthday’ which then helped me to recall that I wanted to help someone.

So now I yell out (really ‘think’ out loud!) to the room, ‘is anyone there?’ and I hear it echoing around the room with no response. I yell again, and faintly recall hearing the beginning theme tune to “The Addams Family”.

As I wonder what that means, a rocking chair appears (similar to my Grandmother’s) and I sit in it. I can now hear conversations going on around me, reverberating-type echoes of conversations, yet not able to distinctly recall or remember what they were saying.

I slowly became aware I was back in bed, feeling awake, but my attention was being focused on something appearing behind my eyelids. My recall is that it looked like a white bedspread/bed, but could have been a white square/screen type reference. Something or someone told me to focus intently, and I remember pushing all my energy and effort into ‘seeing’ into this white area.

Now I’m clearly seeing (astral vision - while knowing I’m in bed) a room coming into focus. It’s an empty room, with white walls just starting to be painted with blue streaks of paint. It took a number of times to get ‘into’ this room, as I remember backing up and re-entering a few times, kind of like a film loop that was stuck in repeat mode.

Finally I get through that ‘stuck’ loop entry, and move into another room that is full of people, mostly elderly, and the ‘camera’ is panning over the people as they smile and look at me. What is unusual is that they are all ‘frozen in time’, as if a 3D picture I am panning over.

At first, I don’t recognize anyone, but then a few start looking familiar and I think that perhaps these were patients of mine over the past 25 years. As I go around to the back corner of the room, I realize I DO know these people because now there are family members there, including me!

I see myself with a small boy on my lap, with my grandmother sitting next to me smiling widely, as well as various other family members (all who are still alive, not passed over). Everyone looks SO happy and content, and I feel good just knowing I was a part of this.

Now the camera pans into another room, as it swings around the back wall, but this room was also empty. I remember I was trying to get the 'camera' to swing back around to the room full of people to see them again when I awoke completely.

This was not one of the more exciting OOBE to relate, yet I do think I was granted my birthday request, just not in the way I had intended. I woke that day with the feeling that I indeed have made some impact on the lives of those I have met, and that was the best birthday gift I could have asked for!

57) Party, Dream Conversion, Omaha

May 26, 2008

Asleep on couch, I ‘awoke’ thinking that a party was going on in my house! It was filled with people and ‘stuff’ and with me in a flannel nightgown! There were so many people all over…my daughter and her friends, my ex-husband and his football friends, and myriads of people I recognized from some time in my life but didn’t know well.

I saw perfume bottles set up on a counter and the floor, some jewelry hanging on display I had to duck under, and the floor covered with all kinds of ‘stuff’ you had to step over. At one point, I tried opening something that spilled onto the floor, and thought, “well, there is so much stuff already on the floor, I’ll clean it up later!”

I’m walking around telling everyone that I need to knew when they are coming and spending the night, stopping to sternly tell my ex-husband he must inform me when he plans on staying over. As usual, he’s arguing that he didn’t stay over…they were out very late and came here in the early am. I just assume they’ve been here all night because it’s morning now.

Walking to different rooms, I need to find out what’s going on in each because I feel I’m responsible for what’s happening in my house. In one room I see a curtain with a young teenage son of a friend holding it closed so I can’t see what’s going on. I look behind it and see a male & female (thin blond) teenagers involved with each other and tell them to stop and leave. I then notice an older male also there with them involved, (thin, balding in center, hair on sides, familiar yet not one I knew I wanted in my house). I tell them all to get dressed and leave.

Now I’m trying to find my husband so he can help me escort them out. I find him upstairs in an unfinished attic type area, again with other people milling around there too. I knew he was planning on taking a bath (?) in his truck because he was disgusted with all that was going on in the house. I tried to tell him “please don’t leave, I need your help to get these people out” but I don’t know if he heard me as he disappeared out the back door.

I go down the stairs and hallway thinking I can intercept him and try to get his attention to help me, so as I’m going back to that room with the dressing people, I’m looking down the hallway hoping to see my husband and get him to help me escort them out. When I realize he’s not going to help, a tall black gentleman appears (unfamiliar person, yet emanating a safe, warm feeling of help), so I confidently go into the room with him.

I follow the people out of the house, and as I’m walking them out I’m telling them that I don’t even want them waiting in the driveway for a ride, they have to just keep walking. I felt there were enough adults there in the house and around that someone would be able to give them a ride home if they needed one.

As we exit the house, I see the group of people I’m escorting split up into two groups going different directions, and I wonder how I’ll be sure they all get out. I ask where one group is going, and the man says his car is parked closer to this exit, so he’s leaving that way. I now realize this is an airport terminal, with different exits, and I allow them to leave whatever exit they wish. They just disappeared.

In one section where I stopped, I see baggage being loaded into an area that had a pneumatic chute type effect. Standing near that, I turn around to see who is there and notice a male and female up on another level watching and smiling at me, not feeling like they are there to help me, but just watching and finding it funny that I am so distressed and out of control with what’s happening in my home. Everyone else in this experience so far seemed to be having a good fun time, but in a low morals type way, and I did not find it funny to me at all.

Turning back to the baggage loading area, I suddenly find myself sucked up into the chute and ‘falling’ upward in darkness. I became fearful about being harmed in this chute and then had the realization, “hey, wait! It’s a dream and I can do whatever I want!” (The feeling of danger is almost always a signal that I’m dreaming)

I then knew to convert the experience into a long tunnel feeling so I would be able to fly out. I turned around (I was on my back) and did the Superman position to fly, but also realized at the same time that I didn’t need to have my arms out to fly!

I exit the tunnel and find myself flying over water, beach-like water, with gentle waves and people wading in the water, mostly women and children. I would occasionally see one or two look up as if they see me, but I know they probably can’t since I’m OOB. (maybe they could? perhaps a false belief I had?) They are having such fun, and so am I, just zipping and zooming around and enjoying that freedom of flight again.

Looking at the women, I feel it may have been a time ago, when women wore bathing suits and head coverings that covered most of their bodies. I then fly back to the beach and see the docks/piers where there are mostly men working. I then flew over a city like area, with one section that seemed to be more country, as if a park with a pavilion. I think to myself, “I wonder where I am?” and at that time I see a man sitting in the pavilion look up to me and yell out “Omaha!” So I say, “Oh, thank you! I must be in Omaha”, and I’m trying to remember where Omaha is, quickly remembering it’s in Nebraska. As if on cue, another male at the other end of the park yells out “Nebraska!” confirming to me that I was indeed in Omaha, Nebraska.

I decide to fly up to the stars enjoying being among the quiet blackness and stars. I had the feeling I was beginning to wake, so at that point I recall I had set the intention to help someone when I got out. I yell out, “is anyone there?” a few times, hearing myself speak almost as if I was fully awake. ( I think I waited too long in the experience and was too ‘awake’ at this point)

No one answered but I became painfully aware of the fact that my right first finger was going numb, so I’m trying to wiggle it to get the feeling back, knowing that this might fully wake me up but still hoping I can continue on. (I really thought I was actually wiggling it IP, but when I woke it was still quite numb due to its awkward position, probably the cause of my OOBE ending)

Now I’m aware I’m in a forest, lying down, enjoying the sounds of the forest and gentle rain. I could feel a buzz in my pocket, and I realize it’s my pager going off! (I was actually IP ‘on call’ for the hospital and I’m sure I had that concern underlying my experience)

I look at the pager and try to read it, and it says something about ‘Labor Day’ (?), and as I hit it again, it’s a video of a firetruck (?), and I remember thinking “this is important, I have to be sure this is NOT real as I have to go if I’m really being paged!”

Concentrating, I think “this can’t be right, this can’t be real” as it just kept giving me weird words and diagrams. At that point I remember this can’t be ‘real’ because when I went to bed, I had the pager on a loud ‘beeper’ to wake me, not ‘buzzer’. (It’s amazing how your mind is able to rationalize and remember such details even when ‘out’!)

I again feel I was semi-awake, as the sound of my IP waterfall in the room was probably the sound of rain I was hearing. Although I didn’t’ want to wake, I knew my finger was now very painful, and I awoke fully with a numb finger and a feeling of incomplete adventure once again!

56) Visiting with "D."

5/14/08
I made the intention that if I got out again last night I'd try to remember to go see "D.", just in case I'm on a roll here and could take her with me! :)

What happened was unique to say the least, but not much else. I remember feeling the 'awakened' mind while dreaming stage, despite how it felt I may be 'too awake' to get out.

I still tried to do the roll-out with my legs, and succeeded in a partial exit. With a little more oomph, I was out, but standing unsteadily, as if it was the first time again!

It took me a few seconds to realize I was truly out, as it felt so different and heavy. I was confused for a short bit, wondering what I had wanted to do, but fortunately, gained some recall about wanting to go see D.

Standing in the living room, a bit confused by the strange sensations, I affirmed 'to D.!', but felt compelled to also add 'inward now!'. It was after forcing a slight twist to the left that I felt the usual spinning and moving sensations, along with blackness.

I felt I was descending and entering into a small living room/sitting room of sorts. I will describe it as best I can, but you will see that my time there was SO brief, I'm lucky I can even recall what I did.

It was more the 'feeling' of the room that I remember, such a cozy, warm, home-y type room, with many little knick-knacks and 'items' on display. It was cluttered in a sense, but in a very neat and organized sort of way, so that it felt warm and inviting. There was only the warm glow of a lamp or two that lit the room, nothing bright and stark about this room at all. I was not able to see anyone, yet had the feeling someone was there.

Immediately upon entering this room from above, I heard the loud raucous sound of a telephone ringing! I was SO upset to think that my phone would ring at this crucial time! (It was a false awakening I later found out - no phone call was received IP)

I answered the phone, pulling myself out of this 'foggy state' I was in (which I believed was due to my just being OOB). It was another nurse from work, who was in need of help on a critical patient, and I remember telling her, "hang on, I'll be there as soon as I can - I'm not feeling too well right now" thinking I needed to get more awake to process my thoughts clearly.

My friend Susan was also there, rushing around to get ready for work as well, and I confirmed with her that she had heard about the trouble at work. (You would think this would have made me realize it was a false awakening, but since I had just returned from a trip with her, I think I assumed I was still on that trip!)

Getting dressed, I'm now forcing my mind to awaken, and am so surprised to see that when I fully awaken for real, I'm still here on the couch at home, with no one around and nothing going on!

I have to wonder why would a false awakening want to stop me from completing this task I set? The whole experience was different from the start, so I just don't know what to think about this one.


5/18/08 Second attempt to visit D.

Last night, while visiting my son in his 15th floor apartment, I was able to get out with the intention of trying once again visiting "D." I remember rolling out off the couch, feeling very very heavy, yet surprisingly very clear in my thinking. I moved to the sliding door to the balcony, and notice how sloo-o-o-w moving everything felt, even my motions.

I attempted to turn to look at myself on the couch (knowing full well this is something I don’t really want to do since previously I have found I return immediately), and as I am attempting to turn very slowly, I am stopped. I don’t fight the block, knowing it is for my own best interest to not do so.

With my attention to the balcony, I try to ‘walk’ through the glass door, only to find it rather solid and difficult to pass through. It takes me only a second to know it IS possible to do (remember, I am very clear in my thoughts, an unusual occurrence for me), and then proceed to go through the door to the outside, however, in a very slooooow process, definitely feeling the change in texture as I pass through.

Now standing on the balcony, I see the beautiful view of the city below, and think clearly of my intention to go visit "D". So I say to myself, ‘to D.!’ with full intention of traveling there, and was so surprised to find myself immediately transitioning to a fully awake state! No false awakening, just fully awake and in my body. Worse yet, I was not able to get out again for the remainder of the night!

I am beginning to think that deep down, I am of the belief that I should not be using this OOB gift in such a manner and that may be a reason for this inability to travel to destinations of my own choosing. Using ‘inward now’ and having my Higher Self decide where and what I need to be doing is what resonates best with me, and therefore I feel has an impact on my ability to meet with others.

At this time, I think I will return to the use of ‘Inward Now!’ and see if my experiences return to the deeper learning events that I long for again. With these intentions I am confident I will have more interesting experiences to post!

55) Traveling With a Friend OOB!

Wow! I can't believe I was actually able to bring along a very good friend on this latest OOBE! It again isn't much, but it does tell me that perhaps this will be my only attempt to bring along someone who has not had their own previous OOBE in order that they could validate it with me.

I was away on a long weekend in Cape Cod with two friends, one being a very close confidante and long time associate, Susan. This was to be a 'girls getaway' weekend of rejuvenation and energy work, so I had high hopes (and intent!) of experiencing something wonderful and exciting.

It was on the second night that I found myself out of body in the bedroom. I had already planned on what I would do when I get out, so I affirmed 'to the door!' which took me first to the bedroom door. I then again affirmed 'to the door!' and proceeded to the main living room area where Susan was sleeping on the couch.

It was at that time, I remember extending my left hand to her right hand and taking off! I knew we were flying south along Cape Cod, as I remember seeing the ocean waves moving into shore from my left to my right beneath me. I distinctly remember telling Susan, "You have to remember this! Any small part of it, you just have to remember this!!!"

It seems my 'feeling' at this time was that she was still 'sleeping' and was not really responsive to my urgings. Although she appeared awake, I could tell by her 'demeanor' that it was going to be unlikely that she would be able to recall any of it.

I took her to a cluster of trees, planning on zooming up the tree, as it is a favorite OOB pastime of mine it seems (lol). However, I also recall thinking, as we faced the tree in front of us, 'wow, these trees really are short here by the sea!' so it wasn't as much fun as it usually is.

Trying to do other maneuvers that she may be able to recall later, I then tried to teach her how to 'back flip', another OOB favorite of mine. Again, I remember instead of the usual 'feet up over head' flip, it was more of a soft back loop!!!

We proceeded to a house somewhere below where I saw a woman and her two sons. Much detail is lost here, as this OOBE would continue on with more 'feeling/emotional' aspects than actual events that can be put into words.

I can only put here what I was able to record immediately upon waking, with as much word associations as I could recall. I actually remember near the end having to make the OOBE stop so that I would even be able to recall these few events, knowing there was SO much more to it that I can express here.

Anyway, in the house, Susan and I were welcome friends, at least it seemed so in the beginning. However, I feel this experience may have been more, as in something I needed to learn from.

At some point, the woman and her husband (who had come in during our stay) determined that somehow I was the one responsible for their youngest child's death! I remember that there was a 'connection' I had had with this young son (under age 5), but I cannot recall in what capacity. The mother, father, as well as the remaining two sons, (aged approximately 8 & 12), were emphatic that I was to blame!

Hoping for some backup support from Susan, I quickly realized she was not going to be capable of helping me and that this was something I was going to have to do for myself. Her presence in this experience disappeared at this time.

So, to sum up what happened as best I can, I believe that because I felt I had to defend myself from this false accusation, I became absorbed within their beliefs and could feel the slow rise of panic and fear.

This made me completely useless in giving any form of help to them, and I was so glad to be given a signal (one I know I received but cannot recall) that I was still out of body! I just took off, out of the house, and flying free into darkness.

Flying through a night sky, I saw in the distance a storm brewing, with flashes of light and high winds. Loving the wind as I do, I headed straight for the beautiful orange/red clouds and yellow flashes of light, enjoying the brisk wind in my face.

Looking down, I saw school children being usered to 'safety' by the teachers in anticipation of this major wind/rain storm.

Once I was within all the red/orange/yellow light of the storm, I found myself in an amusement type area, where these same colors were now completely filling both sides, above and below me, in the form of lighted signs or colored boxes. It is interesting to note that there were ‘flames of fire’ within these little boxes, making me think perhaps the storm caused some sort of damage.

I moved downward, seeing a staircase with many people descending the stairs. I was flying above them, going up, and just looking at their faces trying to see if there were any who appeared familiar. There were mostly women, some with children, and a few men...all smiling at me, but not interacting.

At the top of the stairs sat three children, and I decided to stay and talk with them. I felt welcomed and and asked them their names. They were all unusual names and would be pronounced in such a cute 'kid-like' manner. I don't recall the exact names, just the fact that their own version of the name was made me smile.

It was at that point I felt I had to force an ending to this OOBE as there was SO much happening that I knew I was barely going to be able to remember the highlights. I always hate it when that happens, but I also know when I've 'had enough'.

What is interesting to share with you is that I was recently asked what my greatest fears were in life. After much thought I came with two fears: being falsely accused and personal failure to follow through with a given responsibility due to not being told about it. By doing so in an unknowing manner would be the only way this would happen, as I would never intentionally disregard any responsibilities I have been assigned.

In reviewing this OOBE, it is perhaps just this 'fear' that caused me to conform to the family's belief system and hence my hasty retreat from them.

As for the rest of the OOBE, it's anyone's guess...and I'm always open to suggestions! Email me with any if you have some insight...thanks!