6/22/08 5am
I first became aware of getting out as my feet floated up out of my body as I lie on the couch. For the first time, I could SEE my legs rising, as my vision immediately was focused and clear even before getting fully out of body! They appeared transparent and foggy white, and I was just amazed!
(Before this time, I would always be ‘blind’ as I exited, feeling the sensations of moving out but not seeing until I was fully out and ‘intending’ to see)
I remember saying to myself, ‘wow this is the clearest I have ever seen!’ I affirmed “to the door!” but remember being clever in wanting to drift outside feet first! I clearly remember the sensation of passing through the front door feet first, feeling its texture change down my entire body as I went through.
Once outside, I again enjoyed the freedom of being out, doing loops and flips to totally experience this OOB sensation. After satisfying my need for ‘freedom’, I remember I had set the intention for this travel of using “Inward Now!” affirmation (as William Buhlman suggests for personal development while OOB). Immediately, I realize I am traveling through blackness once again.
I find myself in a city, walking down a sidewalk, and seeing people also going my way toward a ‘waiting area’ of sorts at the end of a grassy island. I try to talk to a female who is passing and I find her response is totally unintelligible. Moving on down to where more are ‘waiting’ (for ? ), I realize I am unable to interact with anyone and am feeling useless.
Becoming discouraged, I remember I can change my location by re-stating “Inward now!” and spinning myself to the left, which works immediately. Again, blackness and a moving sensation, and I find myself becoming aware that I’m back on the couch, thinking I had another uneventful OOBE!
As I ‘open’ my eyes (so I think!), I am amazed to see that this is NOT my house! I try to focus on what differences there are to help in my recall. The room appears the same size and shape, yet there are walls with papers tacked to it on a bulletin board where there should be doorways. Long blue vertical blinds cover the area where my front door should be, and so I get up to investigate further.
Now, I realized I am not in my own house, and walk to the blinds to look outside. I get the feeling this is an old farmhouse, with a front porch, and I watch as an older model vehicle (truck?) pulls away from the front of the house.
It is nighttime, and I decided to walk through the rest of the house. The first room I enter is a bedroom with three little girls (ages 2-10?) Two big beds were there, one young girl was awake and reading (?) and one little girl was asleep on the floor next to the other bed. (I had the feeling she just preferred the floor to sleep on, not that she didn’t have a bed.)
They did not interact with me, so I assumed I was not able to be seen. I moved to another bedroom and there I saw a big double bed with 2-3 other twin beds in it, with young boys sleeping here with the parents in the larger bed. It was dark, and I realized that no one was aware of my presence, and I did not recognize any of them.
Feeling a bit intrusive, I moved to the bottom of the larger bed and listened as the father was discussing things with the mother. It seems as though there were money issues, and the father was becoming upset and irritated at what was happening with them, as he felt he was not having enough money to support his family. The mother wasn’t saying too much, and the father became frustrated to the point where he was loud and stormed out of the bedroom.
I followed him out of the room, and then saw the oldest of the girls standing outside her bedroom, closing the door gently. I only heard part of what she was saying “…that old booger…” (meaning her father), being concerned that he would wake her sisters.
I was stunned as she turned to face me, and said, “Well, Karen, that was my dad!” I was totally caught off guard, as I didn’t think anyone could see me, much less talk to me! I felt at a total loss for words, and I think what do I say to her??
The first thing I say is, ‘well, how does that make you feel?’ trying to elicit a direction to take this conversation. I then felt this may have been the wrong thing to say, so I tried to counter it with, ‘what kind of work does your father do?’
At this point I start fading back to awareness, and realized I am not going to be able to continue this conversation. Whether it was due to my inappropriate questioning, or whether I had finished this experience, I don’t know. I was left with the feeling that I may have not handled this one as well as I should have.
As for experiences, although I may not have finished it well, I am happy to know that I have this new experience of ‘seeing’ while exiting. Only once before did I partially ‘see’ myself while out of body, and it was the same white ethereal foggy appearance. (At that time, I was lying in bed, but could see the reflection in the bureau mirror next to my bed of only my arm floating above my body! It appeared as if made of tiny ‘spider web’ strings, transparent and white.)
Perhaps this experience also showed me that I should not ‘assume’ I cannot be seen or heard, as this is what I felt both with the initial ‘city’ environment as well as the farmhouse.
As always, I look forward to any insight anyone may have on this experience.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
59) Facing Negativity Again - Shield Up!!
June 15, 2008 5am
I was once again on the couch, as it now has become my favorite place to have experiences. Although I have had a few OOBEs while in bed, the majority has been from this comfy couch and I feel I have now associated it with traveling!
The first I became aware of getting out, I found my legs floating up and separating. I easily rolled my upper torso completely out off the couch and stood. It was probably the easiest separation I had ever had, and to my dismay, heard the chimes from the clock go off and found myself completely back in body!
Not discouraged (but rather disappointed!), I fell back into my routine to re-exit. This time, once I became aware of time to separate, it wasn’t as easy but I was able to roll off successfully to standing position. Moving ‘to the door!’ gave me time to think “what was it that I wanted to do today?”
This time I had set the intention to just ‘meet someone to talk to’, but always having the wish to help someone in the back of my mind. I remember once again getting outdoors and just enjoying the freedom of flight, but it was different than usual. I was in total blackness, not seeing where I was going, but fully aware I was ‘flying’ into and through various objects as I could feel the texture changes.
Surprisingly, I really didn’t care WHAT it was I was flying through, and just enjoyed the fact that no matter what I encountered, I knew I was safe and could not be harmed. Little did I know this was just a prelude to what I was really going to encounter soon!
I am also aware I went somewhere next that was exciting and fun, but have absolutely no recall of! I can only assume that this was one of those ‘higher learning’ levels that are difficult to recall that was in preparation for my next encounter. (Odd thing is, though, I KNOW I remembered what I did when I was waking slowly, but by the time I had enough word associations to remember all the rest, this part was totally forgotten!)
So, from what I do recall, I found myself appearing in this darkened living room/waiting room of sorts, with comfortable couches and chairs and perhaps a small reception area. Standing there, I call out, ‘is anyone here?’ and was surprised to see movement in one of the chairs to my right.
Going over, I see a small older woman (initially I thought child), crouched in the chair and asked her name. She tells me (S…..?) and I ask if I can help her? She tells me ‘no, but you need to see Mr. Whittley in the back.’
I thanked her and moved on, trying to stamp her name in my memory, but she starts rambling on again about the (C….?) family who knows Dina, and just visited Mrs. ???? This causes me to say, ‘wait, too many names, I can’t remember them all!’ (I’m always bad with names, and this may have been a way for me to just let go of her name, which by then I totally forgot, except that it started with an S!)
So, I’m going down this hallway with many windows on the left, a wall on the right, and look down to the end where I can see a right turn and a dark bedroom. I ‘feel’ that Mr. Whittley is in the bedroom, perhaps an older frail man who may need some help in passing, I assume. (Never assume….even in the astral!! Lol)
As I turn the right corner by the bedroom door, I am shocked and startled by the presence of this HUGE dark ball of negativity that is just outside the doorway! I can feel its radiating waves of ‘heat-like’ negativity coming at me and it causes me to feel totally defenseless and slightly fearful as it caught me completely off guard!!
I hear a deep, strong, male voice from the ball of negativity LOUDLY state, “You were supposed to sign a bondage contract!!”
Quickly and quietly, I also hear another soft male voice (from somewhere next to me) tell me, ‘Put your shield up!’ which immediately brought me back to the awareness that I am in control of any situation in OOB and my fear vanished. I know I stated strongly to myself (thought actually), “I am strong, I am safe!” and that enabled me to continue on. (I just don’t know where I get this courage from OOB….but I’m glad I do!)
I talked with this ball of negativity, not totally remembering exactly what I said, but the ending part was, “There is so much out there for you! Why don’t you come with me? There is so much fun out there...so much joy...so much….LOVE!....Come on, come with me!” as I turned to the windows that were behind me and flew out.
I am not sure what happened to that negativity or Mr. Whittley after that, and honestly, I don’t know if that was just a way for me to escape the situation or not. I cannot tell you the final outcome, but I can only hope that the negativity and/or Mr. Whittley found some help in my appearance there.
The experience surprisingly didn’t end there, because I now found myself back in the living room where I’m sleeping and looking out the window by the couch. I play with the glass, trying to put my hands and head through it, but can’t! It just causes it to stretch outward, and I think, “that’s odd, let’s try the wall.” I can easily put my hands through the wall, feeling the different textures, and the coolness outside. I can even ‘feel’ the stone chimney that I know is next to the window outside!
Feeling like I’m getting ‘lighter awareness’ signaling an end to the experience, I try to prolong it by moving to the door. I knew I was ‘running out of energy’ and it took a lot of effort just to get to the front door.
I hear water falling (knowing I have a waterfall pond outside the front door) and go outside. It appears to be raining, and I stand under a rainfall runoff, like taking a little shower, just enjoying the coolness and refreshing feel of the rain water as it hits me. I awaken fully at that time.
I was once again on the couch, as it now has become my favorite place to have experiences. Although I have had a few OOBEs while in bed, the majority has been from this comfy couch and I feel I have now associated it with traveling!
The first I became aware of getting out, I found my legs floating up and separating. I easily rolled my upper torso completely out off the couch and stood. It was probably the easiest separation I had ever had, and to my dismay, heard the chimes from the clock go off and found myself completely back in body!
Not discouraged (but rather disappointed!), I fell back into my routine to re-exit. This time, once I became aware of time to separate, it wasn’t as easy but I was able to roll off successfully to standing position. Moving ‘to the door!’ gave me time to think “what was it that I wanted to do today?”
This time I had set the intention to just ‘meet someone to talk to’, but always having the wish to help someone in the back of my mind. I remember once again getting outdoors and just enjoying the freedom of flight, but it was different than usual. I was in total blackness, not seeing where I was going, but fully aware I was ‘flying’ into and through various objects as I could feel the texture changes.
Surprisingly, I really didn’t care WHAT it was I was flying through, and just enjoyed the fact that no matter what I encountered, I knew I was safe and could not be harmed. Little did I know this was just a prelude to what I was really going to encounter soon!
I am also aware I went somewhere next that was exciting and fun, but have absolutely no recall of! I can only assume that this was one of those ‘higher learning’ levels that are difficult to recall that was in preparation for my next encounter. (Odd thing is, though, I KNOW I remembered what I did when I was waking slowly, but by the time I had enough word associations to remember all the rest, this part was totally forgotten!)
So, from what I do recall, I found myself appearing in this darkened living room/waiting room of sorts, with comfortable couches and chairs and perhaps a small reception area. Standing there, I call out, ‘is anyone here?’ and was surprised to see movement in one of the chairs to my right.
Going over, I see a small older woman (initially I thought child), crouched in the chair and asked her name. She tells me (S…..?) and I ask if I can help her? She tells me ‘no, but you need to see Mr. Whittley in the back.’
I thanked her and moved on, trying to stamp her name in my memory, but she starts rambling on again about the (C….?) family who knows Dina, and just visited Mrs. ???? This causes me to say, ‘wait, too many names, I can’t remember them all!’ (I’m always bad with names, and this may have been a way for me to just let go of her name, which by then I totally forgot, except that it started with an S!)
So, I’m going down this hallway with many windows on the left, a wall on the right, and look down to the end where I can see a right turn and a dark bedroom. I ‘feel’ that Mr. Whittley is in the bedroom, perhaps an older frail man who may need some help in passing, I assume. (Never assume….even in the astral!! Lol)
As I turn the right corner by the bedroom door, I am shocked and startled by the presence of this HUGE dark ball of negativity that is just outside the doorway! I can feel its radiating waves of ‘heat-like’ negativity coming at me and it causes me to feel totally defenseless and slightly fearful as it caught me completely off guard!!
I hear a deep, strong, male voice from the ball of negativity LOUDLY state, “You were supposed to sign a bondage contract!!”
Quickly and quietly, I also hear another soft male voice (from somewhere next to me) tell me, ‘Put your shield up!’ which immediately brought me back to the awareness that I am in control of any situation in OOB and my fear vanished. I know I stated strongly to myself (thought actually), “I am strong, I am safe!” and that enabled me to continue on. (I just don’t know where I get this courage from OOB….but I’m glad I do!)
I talked with this ball of negativity, not totally remembering exactly what I said, but the ending part was, “There is so much out there for you! Why don’t you come with me? There is so much fun out there...so much joy...so much….LOVE!....Come on, come with me!” as I turned to the windows that were behind me and flew out.
I am not sure what happened to that negativity or Mr. Whittley after that, and honestly, I don’t know if that was just a way for me to escape the situation or not. I cannot tell you the final outcome, but I can only hope that the negativity and/or Mr. Whittley found some help in my appearance there.
The experience surprisingly didn’t end there, because I now found myself back in the living room where I’m sleeping and looking out the window by the couch. I play with the glass, trying to put my hands and head through it, but can’t! It just causes it to stretch outward, and I think, “that’s odd, let’s try the wall.” I can easily put my hands through the wall, feeling the different textures, and the coolness outside. I can even ‘feel’ the stone chimney that I know is next to the window outside!
Feeling like I’m getting ‘lighter awareness’ signaling an end to the experience, I try to prolong it by moving to the door. I knew I was ‘running out of energy’ and it took a lot of effort just to get to the front door.
I hear water falling (knowing I have a waterfall pond outside the front door) and go outside. It appears to be raining, and I stand under a rainfall runoff, like taking a little shower, just enjoying the coolness and refreshing feel of the rain water as it hits me. I awaken fully at that time.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Dream Recall Advice
The key is a slow awakening, trying to keep in that semi-awake state of mind long enough to make some single word associations that will enable you to recall the sequence of events.
Sometimes, when you realize that you are losing the info quickly, grab onto one piece you remember from the end of the dream and work backward trying to recall what happened just previous. Backward recall works best - even when you think you have it all - some more pieces may come as you are writing it all down.
For me, I just can't write the details fast enough, so I have my little voice recorder (nice pocket sized digital recorder) I keep on the nightstand and grab that as soon as I feel I have enough word associations to start talking. Many of my experiences are actually recorded from the end to the beginning, as one association creates recall of another.
In time, it gets a bit easier, but still frustrating also as you will always have those experiences when you awaken, knowing you had a WONDERFUL time, yet have absolutely no recall!! Some experiences, however, are just not meant to be recalled and you have to accept it, knowing your 'inner mind' has learned from or experienced it.
Of course, the more you write, the more your conscious mind takes notice that this is an important aspect of learning for you, and will work with you to try to help you remember more often. Intending to remember, as well as showing intent by recording ALL experiences, will go far in dream recall.
Sometimes, when you realize that you are losing the info quickly, grab onto one piece you remember from the end of the dream and work backward trying to recall what happened just previous. Backward recall works best - even when you think you have it all - some more pieces may come as you are writing it all down.
For me, I just can't write the details fast enough, so I have my little voice recorder (nice pocket sized digital recorder) I keep on the nightstand and grab that as soon as I feel I have enough word associations to start talking. Many of my experiences are actually recorded from the end to the beginning, as one association creates recall of another.
In time, it gets a bit easier, but still frustrating also as you will always have those experiences when you awaken, knowing you had a WONDERFUL time, yet have absolutely no recall!! Some experiences, however, are just not meant to be recalled and you have to accept it, knowing your 'inner mind' has learned from or experienced it.
Of course, the more you write, the more your conscious mind takes notice that this is an important aspect of learning for you, and will work with you to try to help you remember more often. Intending to remember, as well as showing intent by recording ALL experiences, will go far in dream recall.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Traveling by Car - Symbolism
6/13/08
It is interesting that I find I'm frequently driving in cars in the beginning of my OOBEs, as cars are your mind's version of the physical body in which you are 'traveling' in. I think it's also more of a perception your 'rational' mind needs to have in order to make 'sense' of the fact that you are really 'one within a vehicle', as well as 'one who is able to leave the vehicle' at will.
Funny thing, a good example of this happened just this am - I was pleasantly surprised to find myself trying to get OOB, without having made any intention of it prior to sleep!
Initially, I found myself on a swing hanging from a tree, and could feel the 'pull' of the swing as I wanted to go higher. I 'knew' then that I was able to get out since this 'spinning & pulling' sensation is a common signal for me that I can. However, this time, nothing would budge me from my body!
I immediately became aware I am once again driving a car, only this time heading across the 'roof' of a building, knowing full well that at the end of the building I would need to fly!!! I distinctly remember thinking fearfully for a few split seconds that, 'oh no, what if I'm really driving and don't fly?'
But my 'all-knowing' mind kicked in and let me know that I would be able to, especially if I visualized the car to morph into a car-plane type vehicle, complete with little airplane wings on its sides!!! lol
Of course, it worked!! and I soon found myself flying all over OOB, enjoying the freedom of being out. I still recall having that little bit of doubt that I was really out of body as I stood in front of a tree, but said, 'well, if I'm out, I can zoom up the tree!", which of course I did!!!
There was a lot more to this story with some sort of storm I went through, and the storm I encountered ended shortly before the start of the Bejing Olympics!! How's that for crazy!?!? I just haven't had the time to write this fully yet.
The moral of this long bit is that I believe your 'rational conscious' mind needs to have associations it can deal with - and in order to get my fears under control to allow me to separate, I had to devise a plan that would be acceptable to the rational mind so that I could continue on with my journey!
It is interesting that I find I'm frequently driving in cars in the beginning of my OOBEs, as cars are your mind's version of the physical body in which you are 'traveling' in. I think it's also more of a perception your 'rational' mind needs to have in order to make 'sense' of the fact that you are really 'one within a vehicle', as well as 'one who is able to leave the vehicle' at will.
Funny thing, a good example of this happened just this am - I was pleasantly surprised to find myself trying to get OOB, without having made any intention of it prior to sleep!
Initially, I found myself on a swing hanging from a tree, and could feel the 'pull' of the swing as I wanted to go higher. I 'knew' then that I was able to get out since this 'spinning & pulling' sensation is a common signal for me that I can. However, this time, nothing would budge me from my body!
I immediately became aware I am once again driving a car, only this time heading across the 'roof' of a building, knowing full well that at the end of the building I would need to fly!!! I distinctly remember thinking fearfully for a few split seconds that, 'oh no, what if I'm really driving and don't fly?'
But my 'all-knowing' mind kicked in and let me know that I would be able to, especially if I visualized the car to morph into a car-plane type vehicle, complete with little airplane wings on its sides!!! lol
Of course, it worked!! and I soon found myself flying all over OOB, enjoying the freedom of being out. I still recall having that little bit of doubt that I was really out of body as I stood in front of a tree, but said, 'well, if I'm out, I can zoom up the tree!", which of course I did!!!
There was a lot more to this story with some sort of storm I went through, and the storm I encountered ended shortly before the start of the Bejing Olympics!! How's that for crazy!?!? I just haven't had the time to write this fully yet.
The moral of this long bit is that I believe your 'rational conscious' mind needs to have associations it can deal with - and in order to get my fears under control to allow me to separate, I had to devise a plan that would be acceptable to the rational mind so that I could continue on with my journey!
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
58) Birthday Gift - Near Physical OBE
June 6, 2008 My Birthday Gift
I had the intention that I would like to celebrate my birthday with an OOBE that would help someone. Little did I know that the Universe felt that “I” needed the help more than others that day!
My first recall was that again I was driving a car down a local road, and saw some birds in the center of the road. One flew off as I got near, however, one didn’t move, narrowly being missed by my car. Thinking, “wow, that was weird he didn’t fly off as they always do” made me realize, ‘hey wait, I’m dreaming!’
I then attempted to move away from the car, without any success, and realized I could now feel my arms waving over my head in bed. Knowing this was my key to separation, I used strong intention to ‘roll off’ the bed, which I did! I found myself standing, looking at the floor near my dresser, trying to steady myself as I’m wobbling all over the place!
I tried to move my feet and walk, immediately realizing, ‘hey wait, I don’t have to walk!’ and just said ‘to the door!’ which moved me immediately. I then proceeded down the stairs, recalling that I could see my dog Buddy once again coming from the living room to join me!
As I walk into the living room, it is shaped the same, but totally devoid of the ‘regular’ furniture. There is ‘stuff’ all over the floor, nothing specific I can recall, just various items lying around. My first impression was that someone was ‘moving in?’ and as I moved into the room, could see clearly the old fashioned silver Christmas tree I remember from childhood years sparkling with its multicolored lights.
As I walked around, I am trying to concentrate and recall just what was it that I wanted to do? (This is common with my OOBEs in that my ‘conscious’ mind recall as to my intentions are sometimes difficult to remember while OOB). I remember thinking, ‘no, I didn’t want to do ‘inward now’ as I would normally do, and then remembered ‘birthday’ which then helped me to recall that I wanted to help someone.
So now I yell out (really ‘think’ out loud!) to the room, ‘is anyone there?’ and I hear it echoing around the room with no response. I yell again, and faintly recall hearing the beginning theme tune to “The Addams Family”.
As I wonder what that means, a rocking chair appears (similar to my Grandmother’s) and I sit in it. I can now hear conversations going on around me, reverberating-type echoes of conversations, yet not able to distinctly recall or remember what they were saying.
I slowly became aware I was back in bed, feeling awake, but my attention was being focused on something appearing behind my eyelids. My recall is that it looked like a white bedspread/bed, but could have been a white square/screen type reference. Something or someone told me to focus intently, and I remember pushing all my energy and effort into ‘seeing’ into this white area.
Now I’m clearly seeing (astral vision - while knowing I’m in bed) a room coming into focus. It’s an empty room, with white walls just starting to be painted with blue streaks of paint. It took a number of times to get ‘into’ this room, as I remember backing up and re-entering a few times, kind of like a film loop that was stuck in repeat mode.
Finally I get through that ‘stuck’ loop entry, and move into another room that is full of people, mostly elderly, and the ‘camera’ is panning over the people as they smile and look at me. What is unusual is that they are all ‘frozen in time’, as if a 3D picture I am panning over.
At first, I don’t recognize anyone, but then a few start looking familiar and I think that perhaps these were patients of mine over the past 25 years. As I go around to the back corner of the room, I realize I DO know these people because now there are family members there, including me!
I see myself with a small boy on my lap, with my grandmother sitting next to me smiling widely, as well as various other family members (all who are still alive, not passed over). Everyone looks SO happy and content, and I feel good just knowing I was a part of this.
Now the camera pans into another room, as it swings around the back wall, but this room was also empty. I remember I was trying to get the 'camera' to swing back around to the room full of people to see them again when I awoke completely.
This was not one of the more exciting OOBE to relate, yet I do think I was granted my birthday request, just not in the way I had intended. I woke that day with the feeling that I indeed have made some impact on the lives of those I have met, and that was the best birthday gift I could have asked for!
I had the intention that I would like to celebrate my birthday with an OOBE that would help someone. Little did I know that the Universe felt that “I” needed the help more than others that day!
My first recall was that again I was driving a car down a local road, and saw some birds in the center of the road. One flew off as I got near, however, one didn’t move, narrowly being missed by my car. Thinking, “wow, that was weird he didn’t fly off as they always do” made me realize, ‘hey wait, I’m dreaming!’
I then attempted to move away from the car, without any success, and realized I could now feel my arms waving over my head in bed. Knowing this was my key to separation, I used strong intention to ‘roll off’ the bed, which I did! I found myself standing, looking at the floor near my dresser, trying to steady myself as I’m wobbling all over the place!
I tried to move my feet and walk, immediately realizing, ‘hey wait, I don’t have to walk!’ and just said ‘to the door!’ which moved me immediately. I then proceeded down the stairs, recalling that I could see my dog Buddy once again coming from the living room to join me!
As I walk into the living room, it is shaped the same, but totally devoid of the ‘regular’ furniture. There is ‘stuff’ all over the floor, nothing specific I can recall, just various items lying around. My first impression was that someone was ‘moving in?’ and as I moved into the room, could see clearly the old fashioned silver Christmas tree I remember from childhood years sparkling with its multicolored lights.
As I walked around, I am trying to concentrate and recall just what was it that I wanted to do? (This is common with my OOBEs in that my ‘conscious’ mind recall as to my intentions are sometimes difficult to remember while OOB). I remember thinking, ‘no, I didn’t want to do ‘inward now’ as I would normally do, and then remembered ‘birthday’ which then helped me to recall that I wanted to help someone.
So now I yell out (really ‘think’ out loud!) to the room, ‘is anyone there?’ and I hear it echoing around the room with no response. I yell again, and faintly recall hearing the beginning theme tune to “The Addams Family”.
As I wonder what that means, a rocking chair appears (similar to my Grandmother’s) and I sit in it. I can now hear conversations going on around me, reverberating-type echoes of conversations, yet not able to distinctly recall or remember what they were saying.
I slowly became aware I was back in bed, feeling awake, but my attention was being focused on something appearing behind my eyelids. My recall is that it looked like a white bedspread/bed, but could have been a white square/screen type reference. Something or someone told me to focus intently, and I remember pushing all my energy and effort into ‘seeing’ into this white area.
Now I’m clearly seeing (astral vision - while knowing I’m in bed) a room coming into focus. It’s an empty room, with white walls just starting to be painted with blue streaks of paint. It took a number of times to get ‘into’ this room, as I remember backing up and re-entering a few times, kind of like a film loop that was stuck in repeat mode.
Finally I get through that ‘stuck’ loop entry, and move into another room that is full of people, mostly elderly, and the ‘camera’ is panning over the people as they smile and look at me. What is unusual is that they are all ‘frozen in time’, as if a 3D picture I am panning over.
At first, I don’t recognize anyone, but then a few start looking familiar and I think that perhaps these were patients of mine over the past 25 years. As I go around to the back corner of the room, I realize I DO know these people because now there are family members there, including me!
I see myself with a small boy on my lap, with my grandmother sitting next to me smiling widely, as well as various other family members (all who are still alive, not passed over). Everyone looks SO happy and content, and I feel good just knowing I was a part of this.
Now the camera pans into another room, as it swings around the back wall, but this room was also empty. I remember I was trying to get the 'camera' to swing back around to the room full of people to see them again when I awoke completely.
This was not one of the more exciting OOBE to relate, yet I do think I was granted my birthday request, just not in the way I had intended. I woke that day with the feeling that I indeed have made some impact on the lives of those I have met, and that was the best birthday gift I could have asked for!
Monday, May 26, 2008
57) Party, Dream Conversion, Omaha
May 26, 2008
Asleep on couch, I ‘awoke’ thinking that a party was going on in my house! It was filled with people and ‘stuff’ and with me in a flannel nightgown! There were so many people all over…my daughter and her friends, my ex-husband and his football friends, and myriads of people I recognized from some time in my life but didn’t know well.
I saw perfume bottles set up on a counter and the floor, some jewelry hanging on display I had to duck under, and the floor covered with all kinds of ‘stuff’ you had to step over. At one point, I tried opening something that spilled onto the floor, and thought, “well, there is so much stuff already on the floor, I’ll clean it up later!”
I’m walking around telling everyone that I need to knew when they are coming and spending the night, stopping to sternly tell my ex-husband he must inform me when he plans on staying over. As usual, he’s arguing that he didn’t stay over…they were out very late and came here in the early am. I just assume they’ve been here all night because it’s morning now.
Walking to different rooms, I need to find out what’s going on in each because I feel I’m responsible for what’s happening in my house. In one room I see a curtain with a young teenage son of a friend holding it closed so I can’t see what’s going on. I look behind it and see a male & female (thin blond) teenagers involved with each other and tell them to stop and leave. I then notice an older male also there with them involved, (thin, balding in center, hair on sides, familiar yet not one I knew I wanted in my house). I tell them all to get dressed and leave.
Now I’m trying to find my husband so he can help me escort them out. I find him upstairs in an unfinished attic type area, again with other people milling around there too. I knew he was planning on taking a bath (?) in his truck because he was disgusted with all that was going on in the house. I tried to tell him “please don’t leave, I need your help to get these people out” but I don’t know if he heard me as he disappeared out the back door.
I go down the stairs and hallway thinking I can intercept him and try to get his attention to help me, so as I’m going back to that room with the dressing people, I’m looking down the hallway hoping to see my husband and get him to help me escort them out. When I realize he’s not going to help, a tall black gentleman appears (unfamiliar person, yet emanating a safe, warm feeling of help), so I confidently go into the room with him.
I follow the people out of the house, and as I’m walking them out I’m telling them that I don’t even want them waiting in the driveway for a ride, they have to just keep walking. I felt there were enough adults there in the house and around that someone would be able to give them a ride home if they needed one.
As we exit the house, I see the group of people I’m escorting split up into two groups going different directions, and I wonder how I’ll be sure they all get out. I ask where one group is going, and the man says his car is parked closer to this exit, so he’s leaving that way. I now realize this is an airport terminal, with different exits, and I allow them to leave whatever exit they wish. They just disappeared.
In one section where I stopped, I see baggage being loaded into an area that had a pneumatic chute type effect. Standing near that, I turn around to see who is there and notice a male and female up on another level watching and smiling at me, not feeling like they are there to help me, but just watching and finding it funny that I am so distressed and out of control with what’s happening in my home. Everyone else in this experience so far seemed to be having a good fun time, but in a low morals type way, and I did not find it funny to me at all.
Turning back to the baggage loading area, I suddenly find myself sucked up into the chute and ‘falling’ upward in darkness. I became fearful about being harmed in this chute and then had the realization, “hey, wait! It’s a dream and I can do whatever I want!” (The feeling of danger is almost always a signal that I’m dreaming)
I then knew to convert the experience into a long tunnel feeling so I would be able to fly out. I turned around (I was on my back) and did the Superman position to fly, but also realized at the same time that I didn’t need to have my arms out to fly!
I exit the tunnel and find myself flying over water, beach-like water, with gentle waves and people wading in the water, mostly women and children. I would occasionally see one or two look up as if they see me, but I know they probably can’t since I’m OOB. (maybe they could? perhaps a false belief I had?) They are having such fun, and so am I, just zipping and zooming around and enjoying that freedom of flight again.
Looking at the women, I feel it may have been a time ago, when women wore bathing suits and head coverings that covered most of their bodies. I then fly back to the beach and see the docks/piers where there are mostly men working. I then flew over a city like area, with one section that seemed to be more country, as if a park with a pavilion. I think to myself, “I wonder where I am?” and at that time I see a man sitting in the pavilion look up to me and yell out “Omaha!” So I say, “Oh, thank you! I must be in Omaha”, and I’m trying to remember where Omaha is, quickly remembering it’s in Nebraska. As if on cue, another male at the other end of the park yells out “Nebraska!” confirming to me that I was indeed in Omaha, Nebraska.
I decide to fly up to the stars enjoying being among the quiet blackness and stars. I had the feeling I was beginning to wake, so at that point I recall I had set the intention to help someone when I got out. I yell out, “is anyone there?” a few times, hearing myself speak almost as if I was fully awake. ( I think I waited too long in the experience and was too ‘awake’ at this point)
No one answered but I became painfully aware of the fact that my right first finger was going numb, so I’m trying to wiggle it to get the feeling back, knowing that this might fully wake me up but still hoping I can continue on. (I really thought I was actually wiggling it IP, but when I woke it was still quite numb due to its awkward position, probably the cause of my OOBE ending)
Now I’m aware I’m in a forest, lying down, enjoying the sounds of the forest and gentle rain. I could feel a buzz in my pocket, and I realize it’s my pager going off! (I was actually IP ‘on call’ for the hospital and I’m sure I had that concern underlying my experience)
I look at the pager and try to read it, and it says something about ‘Labor Day’ (?), and as I hit it again, it’s a video of a firetruck (?), and I remember thinking “this is important, I have to be sure this is NOT real as I have to go if I’m really being paged!”
Concentrating, I think “this can’t be right, this can’t be real” as it just kept giving me weird words and diagrams. At that point I remember this can’t be ‘real’ because when I went to bed, I had the pager on a loud ‘beeper’ to wake me, not ‘buzzer’. (It’s amazing how your mind is able to rationalize and remember such details even when ‘out’!)
I again feel I was semi-awake, as the sound of my IP waterfall in the room was probably the sound of rain I was hearing. Although I didn’t’ want to wake, I knew my finger was now very painful, and I awoke fully with a numb finger and a feeling of incomplete adventure once again!
Asleep on couch, I ‘awoke’ thinking that a party was going on in my house! It was filled with people and ‘stuff’ and with me in a flannel nightgown! There were so many people all over…my daughter and her friends, my ex-husband and his football friends, and myriads of people I recognized from some time in my life but didn’t know well.
I saw perfume bottles set up on a counter and the floor, some jewelry hanging on display I had to duck under, and the floor covered with all kinds of ‘stuff’ you had to step over. At one point, I tried opening something that spilled onto the floor, and thought, “well, there is so much stuff already on the floor, I’ll clean it up later!”
I’m walking around telling everyone that I need to knew when they are coming and spending the night, stopping to sternly tell my ex-husband he must inform me when he plans on staying over. As usual, he’s arguing that he didn’t stay over…they were out very late and came here in the early am. I just assume they’ve been here all night because it’s morning now.
Walking to different rooms, I need to find out what’s going on in each because I feel I’m responsible for what’s happening in my house. In one room I see a curtain with a young teenage son of a friend holding it closed so I can’t see what’s going on. I look behind it and see a male & female (thin blond) teenagers involved with each other and tell them to stop and leave. I then notice an older male also there with them involved, (thin, balding in center, hair on sides, familiar yet not one I knew I wanted in my house). I tell them all to get dressed and leave.
Now I’m trying to find my husband so he can help me escort them out. I find him upstairs in an unfinished attic type area, again with other people milling around there too. I knew he was planning on taking a bath (?) in his truck because he was disgusted with all that was going on in the house. I tried to tell him “please don’t leave, I need your help to get these people out” but I don’t know if he heard me as he disappeared out the back door.
I go down the stairs and hallway thinking I can intercept him and try to get his attention to help me, so as I’m going back to that room with the dressing people, I’m looking down the hallway hoping to see my husband and get him to help me escort them out. When I realize he’s not going to help, a tall black gentleman appears (unfamiliar person, yet emanating a safe, warm feeling of help), so I confidently go into the room with him.
I follow the people out of the house, and as I’m walking them out I’m telling them that I don’t even want them waiting in the driveway for a ride, they have to just keep walking. I felt there were enough adults there in the house and around that someone would be able to give them a ride home if they needed one.
As we exit the house, I see the group of people I’m escorting split up into two groups going different directions, and I wonder how I’ll be sure they all get out. I ask where one group is going, and the man says his car is parked closer to this exit, so he’s leaving that way. I now realize this is an airport terminal, with different exits, and I allow them to leave whatever exit they wish. They just disappeared.
In one section where I stopped, I see baggage being loaded into an area that had a pneumatic chute type effect. Standing near that, I turn around to see who is there and notice a male and female up on another level watching and smiling at me, not feeling like they are there to help me, but just watching and finding it funny that I am so distressed and out of control with what’s happening in my home. Everyone else in this experience so far seemed to be having a good fun time, but in a low morals type way, and I did not find it funny to me at all.
Turning back to the baggage loading area, I suddenly find myself sucked up into the chute and ‘falling’ upward in darkness. I became fearful about being harmed in this chute and then had the realization, “hey, wait! It’s a dream and I can do whatever I want!” (The feeling of danger is almost always a signal that I’m dreaming)
I then knew to convert the experience into a long tunnel feeling so I would be able to fly out. I turned around (I was on my back) and did the Superman position to fly, but also realized at the same time that I didn’t need to have my arms out to fly!
I exit the tunnel and find myself flying over water, beach-like water, with gentle waves and people wading in the water, mostly women and children. I would occasionally see one or two look up as if they see me, but I know they probably can’t since I’m OOB. (maybe they could? perhaps a false belief I had?) They are having such fun, and so am I, just zipping and zooming around and enjoying that freedom of flight again.
Looking at the women, I feel it may have been a time ago, when women wore bathing suits and head coverings that covered most of their bodies. I then fly back to the beach and see the docks/piers where there are mostly men working. I then flew over a city like area, with one section that seemed to be more country, as if a park with a pavilion. I think to myself, “I wonder where I am?” and at that time I see a man sitting in the pavilion look up to me and yell out “Omaha!” So I say, “Oh, thank you! I must be in Omaha”, and I’m trying to remember where Omaha is, quickly remembering it’s in Nebraska. As if on cue, another male at the other end of the park yells out “Nebraska!” confirming to me that I was indeed in Omaha, Nebraska.
I decide to fly up to the stars enjoying being among the quiet blackness and stars. I had the feeling I was beginning to wake, so at that point I recall I had set the intention to help someone when I got out. I yell out, “is anyone there?” a few times, hearing myself speak almost as if I was fully awake. ( I think I waited too long in the experience and was too ‘awake’ at this point)
No one answered but I became painfully aware of the fact that my right first finger was going numb, so I’m trying to wiggle it to get the feeling back, knowing that this might fully wake me up but still hoping I can continue on. (I really thought I was actually wiggling it IP, but when I woke it was still quite numb due to its awkward position, probably the cause of my OOBE ending)
Now I’m aware I’m in a forest, lying down, enjoying the sounds of the forest and gentle rain. I could feel a buzz in my pocket, and I realize it’s my pager going off! (I was actually IP ‘on call’ for the hospital and I’m sure I had that concern underlying my experience)
I look at the pager and try to read it, and it says something about ‘Labor Day’ (?), and as I hit it again, it’s a video of a firetruck (?), and I remember thinking “this is important, I have to be sure this is NOT real as I have to go if I’m really being paged!”
Concentrating, I think “this can’t be right, this can’t be real” as it just kept giving me weird words and diagrams. At that point I remember this can’t be ‘real’ because when I went to bed, I had the pager on a loud ‘beeper’ to wake me, not ‘buzzer’. (It’s amazing how your mind is able to rationalize and remember such details even when ‘out’!)
I again feel I was semi-awake, as the sound of my IP waterfall in the room was probably the sound of rain I was hearing. Although I didn’t’ want to wake, I knew my finger was now very painful, and I awoke fully with a numb finger and a feeling of incomplete adventure once again!
Sunday, May 18, 2008
56) Visiting with "D."
5/14/08
I made the intention that if I got out again last night I'd try to remember to go see "D.", just in case I'm on a roll here and could take her with me! :)
What happened was unique to say the least, but not much else. I remember feeling the 'awakened' mind while dreaming stage, despite how it felt I may be 'too awake' to get out.
I still tried to do the roll-out with my legs, and succeeded in a partial exit. With a little more oomph, I was out, but standing unsteadily, as if it was the first time again!
It took me a few seconds to realize I was truly out, as it felt so different and heavy. I was confused for a short bit, wondering what I had wanted to do, but fortunately, gained some recall about wanting to go see D.
Standing in the living room, a bit confused by the strange sensations, I affirmed 'to D.!', but felt compelled to also add 'inward now!'. It was after forcing a slight twist to the left that I felt the usual spinning and moving sensations, along with blackness.
I felt I was descending and entering into a small living room/sitting room of sorts. I will describe it as best I can, but you will see that my time there was SO brief, I'm lucky I can even recall what I did.
It was more the 'feeling' of the room that I remember, such a cozy, warm, home-y type room, with many little knick-knacks and 'items' on display. It was cluttered in a sense, but in a very neat and organized sort of way, so that it felt warm and inviting. There was only the warm glow of a lamp or two that lit the room, nothing bright and stark about this room at all. I was not able to see anyone, yet had the feeling someone was there.
Immediately upon entering this room from above, I heard the loud raucous sound of a telephone ringing! I was SO upset to think that my phone would ring at this crucial time! (It was a false awakening I later found out - no phone call was received IP)
I answered the phone, pulling myself out of this 'foggy state' I was in (which I believed was due to my just being OOB). It was another nurse from work, who was in need of help on a critical patient, and I remember telling her, "hang on, I'll be there as soon as I can - I'm not feeling too well right now" thinking I needed to get more awake to process my thoughts clearly.
My friend Susan was also there, rushing around to get ready for work as well, and I confirmed with her that she had heard about the trouble at work. (You would think this would have made me realize it was a false awakening, but since I had just returned from a trip with her, I think I assumed I was still on that trip!)
Getting dressed, I'm now forcing my mind to awaken, and am so surprised to see that when I fully awaken for real, I'm still here on the couch at home, with no one around and nothing going on!
I have to wonder why would a false awakening want to stop me from completing this task I set? The whole experience was different from the start, so I just don't know what to think about this one.
5/18/08 Second attempt to visit D.
Last night, while visiting my son in his 15th floor apartment, I was able to get out with the intention of trying once again visiting "D." I remember rolling out off the couch, feeling very very heavy, yet surprisingly very clear in my thinking. I moved to the sliding door to the balcony, and notice how sloo-o-o-w moving everything felt, even my motions.
I attempted to turn to look at myself on the couch (knowing full well this is something I don’t really want to do since previously I have found I return immediately), and as I am attempting to turn very slowly, I am stopped. I don’t fight the block, knowing it is for my own best interest to not do so.
With my attention to the balcony, I try to ‘walk’ through the glass door, only to find it rather solid and difficult to pass through. It takes me only a second to know it IS possible to do (remember, I am very clear in my thoughts, an unusual occurrence for me), and then proceed to go through the door to the outside, however, in a very slooooow process, definitely feeling the change in texture as I pass through.
Now standing on the balcony, I see the beautiful view of the city below, and think clearly of my intention to go visit "D". So I say to myself, ‘to D.!’ with full intention of traveling there, and was so surprised to find myself immediately transitioning to a fully awake state! No false awakening, just fully awake and in my body. Worse yet, I was not able to get out again for the remainder of the night!
I am beginning to think that deep down, I am of the belief that I should not be using this OOB gift in such a manner and that may be a reason for this inability to travel to destinations of my own choosing. Using ‘inward now’ and having my Higher Self decide where and what I need to be doing is what resonates best with me, and therefore I feel has an impact on my ability to meet with others.
At this time, I think I will return to the use of ‘Inward Now!’ and see if my experiences return to the deeper learning events that I long for again. With these intentions I am confident I will have more interesting experiences to post!
I made the intention that if I got out again last night I'd try to remember to go see "D.", just in case I'm on a roll here and could take her with me! :)
What happened was unique to say the least, but not much else. I remember feeling the 'awakened' mind while dreaming stage, despite how it felt I may be 'too awake' to get out.
I still tried to do the roll-out with my legs, and succeeded in a partial exit. With a little more oomph, I was out, but standing unsteadily, as if it was the first time again!
It took me a few seconds to realize I was truly out, as it felt so different and heavy. I was confused for a short bit, wondering what I had wanted to do, but fortunately, gained some recall about wanting to go see D.
Standing in the living room, a bit confused by the strange sensations, I affirmed 'to D.!', but felt compelled to also add 'inward now!'. It was after forcing a slight twist to the left that I felt the usual spinning and moving sensations, along with blackness.
I felt I was descending and entering into a small living room/sitting room of sorts. I will describe it as best I can, but you will see that my time there was SO brief, I'm lucky I can even recall what I did.
It was more the 'feeling' of the room that I remember, such a cozy, warm, home-y type room, with many little knick-knacks and 'items' on display. It was cluttered in a sense, but in a very neat and organized sort of way, so that it felt warm and inviting. There was only the warm glow of a lamp or two that lit the room, nothing bright and stark about this room at all. I was not able to see anyone, yet had the feeling someone was there.
Immediately upon entering this room from above, I heard the loud raucous sound of a telephone ringing! I was SO upset to think that my phone would ring at this crucial time! (It was a false awakening I later found out - no phone call was received IP)
I answered the phone, pulling myself out of this 'foggy state' I was in (which I believed was due to my just being OOB). It was another nurse from work, who was in need of help on a critical patient, and I remember telling her, "hang on, I'll be there as soon as I can - I'm not feeling too well right now" thinking I needed to get more awake to process my thoughts clearly.
My friend Susan was also there, rushing around to get ready for work as well, and I confirmed with her that she had heard about the trouble at work. (You would think this would have made me realize it was a false awakening, but since I had just returned from a trip with her, I think I assumed I was still on that trip!)
Getting dressed, I'm now forcing my mind to awaken, and am so surprised to see that when I fully awaken for real, I'm still here on the couch at home, with no one around and nothing going on!
I have to wonder why would a false awakening want to stop me from completing this task I set? The whole experience was different from the start, so I just don't know what to think about this one.
5/18/08 Second attempt to visit D.
Last night, while visiting my son in his 15th floor apartment, I was able to get out with the intention of trying once again visiting "D." I remember rolling out off the couch, feeling very very heavy, yet surprisingly very clear in my thinking. I moved to the sliding door to the balcony, and notice how sloo-o-o-w moving everything felt, even my motions.
I attempted to turn to look at myself on the couch (knowing full well this is something I don’t really want to do since previously I have found I return immediately), and as I am attempting to turn very slowly, I am stopped. I don’t fight the block, knowing it is for my own best interest to not do so.
With my attention to the balcony, I try to ‘walk’ through the glass door, only to find it rather solid and difficult to pass through. It takes me only a second to know it IS possible to do (remember, I am very clear in my thoughts, an unusual occurrence for me), and then proceed to go through the door to the outside, however, in a very slooooow process, definitely feeling the change in texture as I pass through.
Now standing on the balcony, I see the beautiful view of the city below, and think clearly of my intention to go visit "D". So I say to myself, ‘to D.!’ with full intention of traveling there, and was so surprised to find myself immediately transitioning to a fully awake state! No false awakening, just fully awake and in my body. Worse yet, I was not able to get out again for the remainder of the night!
I am beginning to think that deep down, I am of the belief that I should not be using this OOB gift in such a manner and that may be a reason for this inability to travel to destinations of my own choosing. Using ‘inward now’ and having my Higher Self decide where and what I need to be doing is what resonates best with me, and therefore I feel has an impact on my ability to meet with others.
At this time, I think I will return to the use of ‘Inward Now!’ and see if my experiences return to the deeper learning events that I long for again. With these intentions I am confident I will have more interesting experiences to post!
Sunday, May 11, 2008
55) Traveling With a Friend OOB!
Wow! I can't believe I was actually able to bring along a very good friend on this latest OOBE! It again isn't much, but it does tell me that perhaps this will be my only attempt to bring along someone who has not had their own previous OOBE in order that they could validate it with me.
I was away on a long weekend in Cape Cod with two friends, one being a very close confidante and long time associate, Susan. This was to be a 'girls getaway' weekend of rejuvenation and energy work, so I had high hopes (and intent!) of experiencing something wonderful and exciting.
It was on the second night that I found myself out of body in the bedroom. I had already planned on what I would do when I get out, so I affirmed 'to the door!' which took me first to the bedroom door. I then again affirmed 'to the door!' and proceeded to the main living room area where Susan was sleeping on the couch.
It was at that time, I remember extending my left hand to her right hand and taking off! I knew we were flying south along Cape Cod, as I remember seeing the ocean waves moving into shore from my left to my right beneath me. I distinctly remember telling Susan, "You have to remember this! Any small part of it, you just have to remember this!!!"
It seems my 'feeling' at this time was that she was still 'sleeping' and was not really responsive to my urgings. Although she appeared awake, I could tell by her 'demeanor' that it was going to be unlikely that she would be able to recall any of it.
I took her to a cluster of trees, planning on zooming up the tree, as it is a favorite OOB pastime of mine it seems (lol). However, I also recall thinking, as we faced the tree in front of us, 'wow, these trees really are short here by the sea!' so it wasn't as much fun as it usually is.
Trying to do other maneuvers that she may be able to recall later, I then tried to teach her how to 'back flip', another OOB favorite of mine. Again, I remember instead of the usual 'feet up over head' flip, it was more of a soft back loop!!!
We proceeded to a house somewhere below where I saw a woman and her two sons. Much detail is lost here, as this OOBE would continue on with more 'feeling/emotional' aspects than actual events that can be put into words.
I can only put here what I was able to record immediately upon waking, with as much word associations as I could recall. I actually remember near the end having to make the OOBE stop so that I would even be able to recall these few events, knowing there was SO much more to it that I can express here.
Anyway, in the house, Susan and I were welcome friends, at least it seemed so in the beginning. However, I feel this experience may have been more, as in something I needed to learn from.
At some point, the woman and her husband (who had come in during our stay) determined that somehow I was the one responsible for their youngest child's death! I remember that there was a 'connection' I had had with this young son (under age 5), but I cannot recall in what capacity. The mother, father, as well as the remaining two sons, (aged approximately 8 & 12), were emphatic that I was to blame!
Hoping for some backup support from Susan, I quickly realized she was not going to be capable of helping me and that this was something I was going to have to do for myself. Her presence in this experience disappeared at this time.
So, to sum up what happened as best I can, I believe that because I felt I had to defend myself from this false accusation, I became absorbed within their beliefs and could feel the slow rise of panic and fear.
This made me completely useless in giving any form of help to them, and I was so glad to be given a signal (one I know I received but cannot recall) that I was still out of body! I just took off, out of the house, and flying free into darkness.
Flying through a night sky, I saw in the distance a storm brewing, with flashes of light and high winds. Loving the wind as I do, I headed straight for the beautiful orange/red clouds and yellow flashes of light, enjoying the brisk wind in my face.
Looking down, I saw school children being usered to 'safety' by the teachers in anticipation of this major wind/rain storm.
Once I was within all the red/orange/yellow light of the storm, I found myself in an amusement type area, where these same colors were now completely filling both sides, above and below me, in the form of lighted signs or colored boxes. It is interesting to note that there were ‘flames of fire’ within these little boxes, making me think perhaps the storm caused some sort of damage.
I moved downward, seeing a staircase with many people descending the stairs. I was flying above them, going up, and just looking at their faces trying to see if there were any who appeared familiar. There were mostly women, some with children, and a few men...all smiling at me, but not interacting.
At the top of the stairs sat three children, and I decided to stay and talk with them. I felt welcomed and and asked them their names. They were all unusual names and would be pronounced in such a cute 'kid-like' manner. I don't recall the exact names, just the fact that their own version of the name was made me smile.
It was at that point I felt I had to force an ending to this OOBE as there was SO much happening that I knew I was barely going to be able to remember the highlights. I always hate it when that happens, but I also know when I've 'had enough'.
What is interesting to share with you is that I was recently asked what my greatest fears were in life. After much thought I came with two fears: being falsely accused and personal failure to follow through with a given responsibility due to not being told about it. By doing so in an unknowing manner would be the only way this would happen, as I would never intentionally disregard any responsibilities I have been assigned.
In reviewing this OOBE, it is perhaps just this 'fear' that caused me to conform to the family's belief system and hence my hasty retreat from them.
As for the rest of the OOBE, it's anyone's guess...and I'm always open to suggestions! Email me with any if you have some insight...thanks!
I was away on a long weekend in Cape Cod with two friends, one being a very close confidante and long time associate, Susan. This was to be a 'girls getaway' weekend of rejuvenation and energy work, so I had high hopes (and intent!) of experiencing something wonderful and exciting.
It was on the second night that I found myself out of body in the bedroom. I had already planned on what I would do when I get out, so I affirmed 'to the door!' which took me first to the bedroom door. I then again affirmed 'to the door!' and proceeded to the main living room area where Susan was sleeping on the couch.
It was at that time, I remember extending my left hand to her right hand and taking off! I knew we were flying south along Cape Cod, as I remember seeing the ocean waves moving into shore from my left to my right beneath me. I distinctly remember telling Susan, "You have to remember this! Any small part of it, you just have to remember this!!!"
It seems my 'feeling' at this time was that she was still 'sleeping' and was not really responsive to my urgings. Although she appeared awake, I could tell by her 'demeanor' that it was going to be unlikely that she would be able to recall any of it.
I took her to a cluster of trees, planning on zooming up the tree, as it is a favorite OOB pastime of mine it seems (lol). However, I also recall thinking, as we faced the tree in front of us, 'wow, these trees really are short here by the sea!' so it wasn't as much fun as it usually is.
Trying to do other maneuvers that she may be able to recall later, I then tried to teach her how to 'back flip', another OOB favorite of mine. Again, I remember instead of the usual 'feet up over head' flip, it was more of a soft back loop!!!
We proceeded to a house somewhere below where I saw a woman and her two sons. Much detail is lost here, as this OOBE would continue on with more 'feeling/emotional' aspects than actual events that can be put into words.
I can only put here what I was able to record immediately upon waking, with as much word associations as I could recall. I actually remember near the end having to make the OOBE stop so that I would even be able to recall these few events, knowing there was SO much more to it that I can express here.
Anyway, in the house, Susan and I were welcome friends, at least it seemed so in the beginning. However, I feel this experience may have been more, as in something I needed to learn from.
At some point, the woman and her husband (who had come in during our stay) determined that somehow I was the one responsible for their youngest child's death! I remember that there was a 'connection' I had had with this young son (under age 5), but I cannot recall in what capacity. The mother, father, as well as the remaining two sons, (aged approximately 8 & 12), were emphatic that I was to blame!
Hoping for some backup support from Susan, I quickly realized she was not going to be capable of helping me and that this was something I was going to have to do for myself. Her presence in this experience disappeared at this time.
So, to sum up what happened as best I can, I believe that because I felt I had to defend myself from this false accusation, I became absorbed within their beliefs and could feel the slow rise of panic and fear.
This made me completely useless in giving any form of help to them, and I was so glad to be given a signal (one I know I received but cannot recall) that I was still out of body! I just took off, out of the house, and flying free into darkness.
Flying through a night sky, I saw in the distance a storm brewing, with flashes of light and high winds. Loving the wind as I do, I headed straight for the beautiful orange/red clouds and yellow flashes of light, enjoying the brisk wind in my face.
Looking down, I saw school children being usered to 'safety' by the teachers in anticipation of this major wind/rain storm.
Once I was within all the red/orange/yellow light of the storm, I found myself in an amusement type area, where these same colors were now completely filling both sides, above and below me, in the form of lighted signs or colored boxes. It is interesting to note that there were ‘flames of fire’ within these little boxes, making me think perhaps the storm caused some sort of damage.
I moved downward, seeing a staircase with many people descending the stairs. I was flying above them, going up, and just looking at their faces trying to see if there were any who appeared familiar. There were mostly women, some with children, and a few men...all smiling at me, but not interacting.
At the top of the stairs sat three children, and I decided to stay and talk with them. I felt welcomed and and asked them their names. They were all unusual names and would be pronounced in such a cute 'kid-like' manner. I don't recall the exact names, just the fact that their own version of the name was made me smile.
It was at that point I felt I had to force an ending to this OOBE as there was SO much happening that I knew I was barely going to be able to remember the highlights. I always hate it when that happens, but I also know when I've 'had enough'.
What is interesting to share with you is that I was recently asked what my greatest fears were in life. After much thought I came with two fears: being falsely accused and personal failure to follow through with a given responsibility due to not being told about it. By doing so in an unknowing manner would be the only way this would happen, as I would never intentionally disregard any responsibilities I have been assigned.
In reviewing this OOBE, it is perhaps just this 'fear' that caused me to conform to the family's belief system and hence my hasty retreat from them.
As for the rest of the OOBE, it's anyone's guess...and I'm always open to suggestions! Email me with any if you have some insight...thanks!
Saturday, April 26, 2008
54) Lucid Dream - Warning?
It's been a very busy few weeks for me with many life events and problems that take energy away from my ability to 'work' within the spiritual realms as much as I'd like to.
With that, I thought I'd share a quick lucid dream (possible OOBE, but not sure) that I had last night.
My initial recall is that I was visiting with two girlfriends, one of whom was interested in trying to put me 'in trance' to see what could be learned. Unfortunately, upon entering trance state, it was obvious to us that I was having a problem 'waking up' and remained semi-comatose for the course of the entire night and next day, despite their best attempts to awaken me.
During this entire 'semi-comatose' time, however, I was fully aware of what my friends were doing in trying to arouse me, yet I was totally unable to interact. It was only with the application of a 'musical wand' to my solar plexus area that I felt burst of energy and light that enabled me to awaken.
Now I found myself outside on a tree-lined sidewalk, trying to walk through some sort of snow-like covering, next to a small church. While walking through this deep snow, I felt something clamp onto my right foot and right hand! It was painful, yet I knew it was not going to come off just by shaking - so I had to affirm its release by surrounding it with white light and demand it to go in the name of Jesus as I threw it toward the church....(I assume that was the reason I was next to the small church).
I then see a familiar face (light brown wavy hair young man) waiting for me standing on the sidewalk at the entrance to a forest. He is smiling and we talk, but I have no recall except for the fact that he warned me that I must be more careful. As I know he is inferring to the fact that I must now go through the forest ahead of me, so I ask him to accompany me and he just smiles.
I awaken fully with these strong memories, but without the usual feeling of having been OOB. Yet, I know....I was interacting with something and someone - and I think about what just happened.
There was only one major difference between this experience and all the rest - and that is the fact that due to my hectic life schedule, I did my usual 'intention' to travel, but did not take the time to protect myself with white light and do my energy activations. It is possible that now with my more involved interactions within the spiritual realms, that I must now remember to be more careful in protecting myself for future experiences.
With that, I thought I'd share a quick lucid dream (possible OOBE, but not sure) that I had last night.
My initial recall is that I was visiting with two girlfriends, one of whom was interested in trying to put me 'in trance' to see what could be learned. Unfortunately, upon entering trance state, it was obvious to us that I was having a problem 'waking up' and remained semi-comatose for the course of the entire night and next day, despite their best attempts to awaken me.
During this entire 'semi-comatose' time, however, I was fully aware of what my friends were doing in trying to arouse me, yet I was totally unable to interact. It was only with the application of a 'musical wand' to my solar plexus area that I felt burst of energy and light that enabled me to awaken.
Now I found myself outside on a tree-lined sidewalk, trying to walk through some sort of snow-like covering, next to a small church. While walking through this deep snow, I felt something clamp onto my right foot and right hand! It was painful, yet I knew it was not going to come off just by shaking - so I had to affirm its release by surrounding it with white light and demand it to go in the name of Jesus as I threw it toward the church....(I assume that was the reason I was next to the small church).
I then see a familiar face (light brown wavy hair young man) waiting for me standing on the sidewalk at the entrance to a forest. He is smiling and we talk, but I have no recall except for the fact that he warned me that I must be more careful. As I know he is inferring to the fact that I must now go through the forest ahead of me, so I ask him to accompany me and he just smiles.
I awaken fully with these strong memories, but without the usual feeling of having been OOB. Yet, I know....I was interacting with something and someone - and I think about what just happened.
There was only one major difference between this experience and all the rest - and that is the fact that due to my hectic life schedule, I did my usual 'intention' to travel, but did not take the time to protect myself with white light and do my energy activations. It is possible that now with my more involved interactions within the spiritual realms, that I must now remember to be more careful in protecting myself for future experiences.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
53) OBE - Working with a Soul Group
This is the latest experience I had while visiting my son, wife, and my new granddaughter for the weekend. For some background, it is necessary to note that they live in an apartment in Philadelphia next to a park and on the top floor of a 15 story building with a balcony that overlooks the street below.
Going to sleep in the living room, near the sliding door out to the balcony, I remember thinking it would be so cool to be able to go OOB and experience going over the railing 15 stories up! Sure enough, I asked and it is given – but of course in a most interesting way!
I woke to vibrations, excited to think I’d be able to get out while visiting here. Again, the first time with the vibrations was unsuccessful as I became too aware and awake. I relaxed back, and then became aware of what I call ‘astral vision’ starting. That is, I am completely aware I am lying in bed, yet can see clearing that I am viewing unfamiliar countryside, as if flying. As I am watching the scenery, I again realize I am becoming too awake/aware trying to use my physical eyes as the vision starts fading. I quickly focus on returning to that ‘altered mind-state’ (best description I can give) that brings the vision back into clear focus.
It is at that time, I realize I am now transitioning to a full OOB state, becoming aware I am actually flying over this countryside with the most beautiful colors below. Again, I enjoy the freedom of being out, swooping and diving, doing all kinds of flight maneuvers. (I really think I have to have this experience at first as it ‘validates’ to me that I am actually OOB, and then will be able to transition to the next experience to stay aware that I am still ‘out’.)
As I’m flying, things start to become less clear and controlled, so to keep my experience going, I know this is the time I need to affirm “Inward now!”, which I do.
Again, the backward pull, blackness, and transitioning feeling, and I find myself back on the couch in my son’s apartment. Like last time with Stephanie (see #52), however, I again remember to call out to see if anyone is around, but find there is no answer this time.
Not wanting to ‘waste’ as good chance to go OOB again, I focus on ‘rolling out’ to see if I can get out in the near physical, which I find I can do easily. I am now standing in the living room, and remember that I wanted to go out to the balcony to experience the jump to the street below. (I even recall having that glimmer of a thought that if I’m not OOB, I’m going to be in such deep trouble! lol) However, that thought was only a glimmer as I knew I was indeed OOB and would have such fun doing this!
So I affirm ‘to the balcony’ and find myself sweeping over the railing and gently drifting down to the street below, completely unafraid and curious to see what I would find. I found people (lots of them!) walking the street as I float gently above them, wondering to myself why I cannot make any contact with them. (I have the feeling they may have been those who are in spirit or possibly even OOB while asleep still in physical now.)
As I think this, two ‘people’ jump up into my face (male and female energies) and startle me by saying, ‘WE can see you!” and get the impression that they are not malevolent spirits, but ‘jokesters’ who love to play pranks on others. I just ignore them and they disappear.
Next I am aware of an older male energy/spirit that is accompanying me and discussing various life experiences, and I feel very comfortable talking with him. Having recently asked to meet my guides, I am now wondering if he may be one.
Even though I do not get that special ‘feeling’ I get when I am in the presence of a higher level guide,I am still very comfortable with him. I do recall asking him if he was one of my guides, why he chose to appear as an older man, and why I didn’t know more about him, but I did not get any specific answers from him – only the impression that he is someone who is connected to me in some way and is here to help.
At one point, I also remember seeing him float higher and wanting to move up with him but yet felt so ‘heavy’ and unmaneuverable. I asked him why it was this way, and his answer was that all I had to do was ‘want it’ and I would be able to join him – which I did.
I also asked him why I couldn’t just get OOB more often, and he said something like well, “we’ll do a little bit today, a little bit next week, and we will get to it as we can” - giving me the impression there was no hurry to learn it all. I felt he definitely knew how often I was getting out and was working with me as I learned.
We then meet up with another younger male energy/spirit who also ‘feels’ this same way, and I ask him why he is here with me. He indicates something about coming because he is a ‘mother-watcher’ as he watches out for mothers (?) and we have a connection that has to do with 15 year old boys(?) I told him yes, I had two boys at one time together near that age, and he proceeds to tell me, ‘…and one of them just recently had a baby, right?’ I said yes, my first granddaughter and it is interesting to note that he made a comment to indicate he was unaware that it was a girl.
(Now I am assuming that this means he may have helped me through the time I was having difficulty with my two teenage boys, at the time when both were close to age 15, and life was extremely difficult as a mother – yet it is interesting that he was aware of the latest change with one son having a new baby, but not all specific details.)
We are now all floating together above a park, with more and more energies/spirits arriving (total of about six, I think) and we are discussing different life events. (I wish I could be more specific here, but I do not recall any of the details of our conversations).
I do remember near the end of the experience that one of the energies/spirits that showed up was in fact my best friend, with whom I am currently working out some work issues with. She was telling me that while ‘I was gone’(?) I did not hear that another coworker was going to be leaving our unit to take a job with another doctor. I was surprised at this information and remember discussing the consequences and feeling upset she was going to leave and not the others who I rather hoped would leave.
I believe this ‘contact’ with my good friend served two purposes for me – one to validate that she is part of my spiritual ‘work group’ here on earth, and two, to validate the fact that this experience was a sort of ‘support group’ meeting of my spiritual friends that allowed me to discuss life issues and events that were/are occurring in my life. Whether these friends are in spirit, or currently in physical but OOB, I am not sure, but I know we all work together.
This OOB experience ended soon thereafter, and I woke with the knowing that help is always here for me and that I am never alone with any life experience.
Interesting to note, after recording this experience, I awoke again a short time later after a more intense experience that had just occurred and I remember frantically trying to remain in this ‘trance-like’ state of awareness in order to give picture associations and words that would help me recall what just happened.
However, for whatever reason, upon fully awakening, the recall vanished completely – leaving me only a few word associations - a college, a young girl, someplace I’ve been to before many times, and the inability to complete a task yet they had the ability, and my comfort in being able to help them ‘assimilate’(?) The pictures and associations I was making while in the trance state was making sense at the time, however, when fully awake, there was no ability to connect the associations into a story of any sort.
This was an interesting experience in that I realized there is a 'system' to my getting out - I will first need to feel that 'freedom' and fun of flying and doing what I like, then have to 'get to work' with another aspect of my learning.
This was also interesting in that I never thought about having a 'work group' that I was a part of, but it does make sense. These 'people' were not the same feeling as a higher guide would be, but more just like me in the sense of energy level. The older male I conversed with more felt like the 'leader' of this group than a higher guide.
Going to sleep in the living room, near the sliding door out to the balcony, I remember thinking it would be so cool to be able to go OOB and experience going over the railing 15 stories up! Sure enough, I asked and it is given – but of course in a most interesting way!
I woke to vibrations, excited to think I’d be able to get out while visiting here. Again, the first time with the vibrations was unsuccessful as I became too aware and awake. I relaxed back, and then became aware of what I call ‘astral vision’ starting. That is, I am completely aware I am lying in bed, yet can see clearing that I am viewing unfamiliar countryside, as if flying. As I am watching the scenery, I again realize I am becoming too awake/aware trying to use my physical eyes as the vision starts fading. I quickly focus on returning to that ‘altered mind-state’ (best description I can give) that brings the vision back into clear focus.
It is at that time, I realize I am now transitioning to a full OOB state, becoming aware I am actually flying over this countryside with the most beautiful colors below. Again, I enjoy the freedom of being out, swooping and diving, doing all kinds of flight maneuvers. (I really think I have to have this experience at first as it ‘validates’ to me that I am actually OOB, and then will be able to transition to the next experience to stay aware that I am still ‘out’.)
As I’m flying, things start to become less clear and controlled, so to keep my experience going, I know this is the time I need to affirm “Inward now!”, which I do.
Again, the backward pull, blackness, and transitioning feeling, and I find myself back on the couch in my son’s apartment. Like last time with Stephanie (see #52), however, I again remember to call out to see if anyone is around, but find there is no answer this time.
Not wanting to ‘waste’ as good chance to go OOB again, I focus on ‘rolling out’ to see if I can get out in the near physical, which I find I can do easily. I am now standing in the living room, and remember that I wanted to go out to the balcony to experience the jump to the street below. (I even recall having that glimmer of a thought that if I’m not OOB, I’m going to be in such deep trouble! lol) However, that thought was only a glimmer as I knew I was indeed OOB and would have such fun doing this!
So I affirm ‘to the balcony’ and find myself sweeping over the railing and gently drifting down to the street below, completely unafraid and curious to see what I would find. I found people (lots of them!) walking the street as I float gently above them, wondering to myself why I cannot make any contact with them. (I have the feeling they may have been those who are in spirit or possibly even OOB while asleep still in physical now.)
As I think this, two ‘people’ jump up into my face (male and female energies) and startle me by saying, ‘WE can see you!” and get the impression that they are not malevolent spirits, but ‘jokesters’ who love to play pranks on others. I just ignore them and they disappear.
Next I am aware of an older male energy/spirit that is accompanying me and discussing various life experiences, and I feel very comfortable talking with him. Having recently asked to meet my guides, I am now wondering if he may be one.
Even though I do not get that special ‘feeling’ I get when I am in the presence of a higher level guide,I am still very comfortable with him. I do recall asking him if he was one of my guides, why he chose to appear as an older man, and why I didn’t know more about him, but I did not get any specific answers from him – only the impression that he is someone who is connected to me in some way and is here to help.
At one point, I also remember seeing him float higher and wanting to move up with him but yet felt so ‘heavy’ and unmaneuverable. I asked him why it was this way, and his answer was that all I had to do was ‘want it’ and I would be able to join him – which I did.
I also asked him why I couldn’t just get OOB more often, and he said something like well, “we’ll do a little bit today, a little bit next week, and we will get to it as we can” - giving me the impression there was no hurry to learn it all. I felt he definitely knew how often I was getting out and was working with me as I learned.
We then meet up with another younger male energy/spirit who also ‘feels’ this same way, and I ask him why he is here with me. He indicates something about coming because he is a ‘mother-watcher’ as he watches out for mothers (?) and we have a connection that has to do with 15 year old boys(?) I told him yes, I had two boys at one time together near that age, and he proceeds to tell me, ‘…and one of them just recently had a baby, right?’ I said yes, my first granddaughter and it is interesting to note that he made a comment to indicate he was unaware that it was a girl.
(Now I am assuming that this means he may have helped me through the time I was having difficulty with my two teenage boys, at the time when both were close to age 15, and life was extremely difficult as a mother – yet it is interesting that he was aware of the latest change with one son having a new baby, but not all specific details.)
We are now all floating together above a park, with more and more energies/spirits arriving (total of about six, I think) and we are discussing different life events. (I wish I could be more specific here, but I do not recall any of the details of our conversations).
I do remember near the end of the experience that one of the energies/spirits that showed up was in fact my best friend, with whom I am currently working out some work issues with. She was telling me that while ‘I was gone’(?) I did not hear that another coworker was going to be leaving our unit to take a job with another doctor. I was surprised at this information and remember discussing the consequences and feeling upset she was going to leave and not the others who I rather hoped would leave.
I believe this ‘contact’ with my good friend served two purposes for me – one to validate that she is part of my spiritual ‘work group’ here on earth, and two, to validate the fact that this experience was a sort of ‘support group’ meeting of my spiritual friends that allowed me to discuss life issues and events that were/are occurring in my life. Whether these friends are in spirit, or currently in physical but OOB, I am not sure, but I know we all work together.
This OOB experience ended soon thereafter, and I woke with the knowing that help is always here for me and that I am never alone with any life experience.
Interesting to note, after recording this experience, I awoke again a short time later after a more intense experience that had just occurred and I remember frantically trying to remain in this ‘trance-like’ state of awareness in order to give picture associations and words that would help me recall what just happened.
However, for whatever reason, upon fully awakening, the recall vanished completely – leaving me only a few word associations - a college, a young girl, someplace I’ve been to before many times, and the inability to complete a task yet they had the ability, and my comfort in being able to help them ‘assimilate’(?) The pictures and associations I was making while in the trance state was making sense at the time, however, when fully awake, there was no ability to connect the associations into a story of any sort.
This was an interesting experience in that I realized there is a 'system' to my getting out - I will first need to feel that 'freedom' and fun of flying and doing what I like, then have to 'get to work' with another aspect of my learning.
This was also interesting in that I never thought about having a 'work group' that I was a part of, but it does make sense. These 'people' were not the same feeling as a higher guide would be, but more just like me in the sense of energy level. The older male I conversed with more felt like the 'leader' of this group than a higher guide.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
52) False Awakening and Retrieval - Stephanie
I had a WONDERFUL experience a few hours ago and have to share it. It seems that I was finally able to constructively use my 'false awakenings' to help someone! As you all know, I felt this learning how to handle this type of ‘awakening’ was being shown to me for a reason, and intuitively I felt it was for just this type of thing. I am just so thrilled!
Here's the experience as I had to write it as soon as I woke:
I became aware of vibrations, and could hear the TV playing (my signal I'm getting ready as the TV is never on at this time) so I knew I was about to get out. My first attempt was unsuccessful, as I got half way up but couldn't separate. I became aware again of being on couch after a short bit, felt the vibrations, and heard the TV playing again (game show theme song) so knew to try again.
This time I rolled out separating easily, said, "to the door!" I moved to the side door, slowly, and was amazed I could see fairly well for a change. I saw the dining table and chairs, so I put my hand out to feel chairs as I passed. (Everything was much clearer this outing).
At the door, I knew I could go through, and still felt the texture change as I passed to the porch. Then I flew up to trees, enjoying freedom of flight once again. I swooped and dived, going higher and higher, until I realized I'm really not getting anywhere, and thought I might be losing awareness, so said ` Inward now!'
I felt an immediate shift in movement, turn around maneuvers, and a LONG backward pull. I was initially concerned that I didn't go anywhere because I ended up back on couch! (Prior to sleep, I did state my intention to use a false awakening should one occur.)
I heard noises like family members were up and moving, and heard my husband come down stairs, concerned he was coming to look for me on couch to get me to go back to bed. He came over to me and hugged me, but I just didn't move - pretending to be asleep despite my thoughts that I'm really awake.
At the point where my husband came to me and just `disappeared', I remembered this might be a false awakening and that I wanted to use it. So I `yelled' mentally out to my living room area, `is anyone there?" and was SO surprised to hear a small female voice say `yes, I am'. The voice was only heard in my left ear, as I clearly knew my head was on the pillow with my left ear down.
I asked her name, and couldn't understand her response at first, asked her to repeat it, and she said `Stephanie'. I could not see anyone, so I asked "what can I do for you, how can I help you?" not knowing anything about who I was talking to.
I was a bit shocked to see some small fingers and hand appear suddenly by my left ear, coming through the pillow! I remember something about `pins or needles' being stuck into the pillow by her fingers, but I don't know what that was about. I took her hand, and immediately I could see a young girl of about 10 years lying on the floor next to the couch, looking at me, holding my hand tightly.
She's telling me all about how bad she feels and how ugly she looks with all these `bumps' all over her. She appeared to be a very sick young girl, covered with chicken pox or small pox like bumps all over her body, and she was swollen and sick looking.
I can't remember exactly what I said to her, but she told me that this man had come to her and wanted her to go with him but she said no because she knew that meant she was going to die if she did. She held tightly onto a stuffed monkey, one with long thin arms and legs.
Somehow I was talking with her (can't recall what I said exactly!) and I mentioned `magic' and now had her attention. At that point, I said "come on, you can fly with me!" and we both took off out my living room window flying, still holding hands! I know I'm forgetting here a lot of what we did, but I know we had SO much fun doing it!
I do remember at one point flying with her and telling her that she could be anything she wanted to be, and she wanted to be beautiful – so I said," it's magic, look, you're beautiful! Look Stephanie, you're beautiful!" I was swinging her around and just have such a joyous time playing with her. She's smiling and glowing, and getting into the flying by herself now.
She and I were both in front of these two trees, and she said, "hey look, I'll race you up to the top of the tree!" So we both zoomed up, and sure enough she beat me, but at the top of my tree, I saw a `cradle' with a baby in it and thought `oh cute, it's rock-a-bye-baby-in the tree tops'! I showed Stephanie and gave her the baby doll that was in the cradle, but I also think it was an intuitive thought given that I needed to get Stephanie to other help.
The next I recall I'm tucking her into her own bed, with her pet stuffed monkey next to her. She's holding the new baby doll, and I'm covering her with this beautiful golden blanket. She's smiling and so happy and I'm feeling SO happy and content myself knowing she's so happy!
As I tuck her in, I see a young man come in off from the right to the side of the bed, as I tell Stephanie that this young man is going to take good care of her now and that when she wakes, she'll be just fine. (The young man was very familiar, had a `knowing' smile on his face, and a comforting feeling to his presence)
Everything faded to black, and I was just so happy and joyous I felt like crying! I still am so thankful for this chance to help and yet, I feel I also got something out of it! I couldn't thank the Universe enough for giving me this opportunity, and am so utterly amazed at what happened.
I am so glad I have people to share this with, as I truly can't begin to describe the feelings that were incorporated in this experience. Words just don't' do justice to the intensity and fullness of the experience, but I hope I've been able to convey just how emotional and joyous this experience was for me. I feel like I've been given such a wonderful gift with this experience!
Here's the experience as I had to write it as soon as I woke:
I became aware of vibrations, and could hear the TV playing (my signal I'm getting ready as the TV is never on at this time) so I knew I was about to get out. My first attempt was unsuccessful, as I got half way up but couldn't separate. I became aware again of being on couch after a short bit, felt the vibrations, and heard the TV playing again (game show theme song) so knew to try again.
This time I rolled out separating easily, said, "to the door!" I moved to the side door, slowly, and was amazed I could see fairly well for a change. I saw the dining table and chairs, so I put my hand out to feel chairs as I passed. (Everything was much clearer this outing).
At the door, I knew I could go through, and still felt the texture change as I passed to the porch. Then I flew up to trees, enjoying freedom of flight once again. I swooped and dived, going higher and higher, until I realized I'm really not getting anywhere, and thought I might be losing awareness, so said ` Inward now!'
I felt an immediate shift in movement, turn around maneuvers, and a LONG backward pull. I was initially concerned that I didn't go anywhere because I ended up back on couch! (Prior to sleep, I did state my intention to use a false awakening should one occur.)
I heard noises like family members were up and moving, and heard my husband come down stairs, concerned he was coming to look for me on couch to get me to go back to bed. He came over to me and hugged me, but I just didn't move - pretending to be asleep despite my thoughts that I'm really awake.
At the point where my husband came to me and just `disappeared', I remembered this might be a false awakening and that I wanted to use it. So I `yelled' mentally out to my living room area, `is anyone there?" and was SO surprised to hear a small female voice say `yes, I am'. The voice was only heard in my left ear, as I clearly knew my head was on the pillow with my left ear down.
I asked her name, and couldn't understand her response at first, asked her to repeat it, and she said `Stephanie'. I could not see anyone, so I asked "what can I do for you, how can I help you?" not knowing anything about who I was talking to.
I was a bit shocked to see some small fingers and hand appear suddenly by my left ear, coming through the pillow! I remember something about `pins or needles' being stuck into the pillow by her fingers, but I don't know what that was about. I took her hand, and immediately I could see a young girl of about 10 years lying on the floor next to the couch, looking at me, holding my hand tightly.
She's telling me all about how bad she feels and how ugly she looks with all these `bumps' all over her. She appeared to be a very sick young girl, covered with chicken pox or small pox like bumps all over her body, and she was swollen and sick looking.
I can't remember exactly what I said to her, but she told me that this man had come to her and wanted her to go with him but she said no because she knew that meant she was going to die if she did. She held tightly onto a stuffed monkey, one with long thin arms and legs.
Somehow I was talking with her (can't recall what I said exactly!) and I mentioned `magic' and now had her attention. At that point, I said "come on, you can fly with me!" and we both took off out my living room window flying, still holding hands! I know I'm forgetting here a lot of what we did, but I know we had SO much fun doing it!
I do remember at one point flying with her and telling her that she could be anything she wanted to be, and she wanted to be beautiful – so I said," it's magic, look, you're beautiful! Look Stephanie, you're beautiful!" I was swinging her around and just have such a joyous time playing with her. She's smiling and glowing, and getting into the flying by herself now.
She and I were both in front of these two trees, and she said, "hey look, I'll race you up to the top of the tree!" So we both zoomed up, and sure enough she beat me, but at the top of my tree, I saw a `cradle' with a baby in it and thought `oh cute, it's rock-a-bye-baby-in the tree tops'! I showed Stephanie and gave her the baby doll that was in the cradle, but I also think it was an intuitive thought given that I needed to get Stephanie to other help.
The next I recall I'm tucking her into her own bed, with her pet stuffed monkey next to her. She's holding the new baby doll, and I'm covering her with this beautiful golden blanket. She's smiling and so happy and I'm feeling SO happy and content myself knowing she's so happy!
As I tuck her in, I see a young man come in off from the right to the side of the bed, as I tell Stephanie that this young man is going to take good care of her now and that when she wakes, she'll be just fine. (The young man was very familiar, had a `knowing' smile on his face, and a comforting feeling to his presence)
Everything faded to black, and I was just so happy and joyous I felt like crying! I still am so thankful for this chance to help and yet, I feel I also got something out of it! I couldn't thank the Universe enough for giving me this opportunity, and am so utterly amazed at what happened.
I am so glad I have people to share this with, as I truly can't begin to describe the feelings that were incorporated in this experience. Words just don't' do justice to the intensity and fullness of the experience, but I hope I've been able to convey just how emotional and joyous this experience was for me. I feel like I've been given such a wonderful gift with this experience!
Saturday, March 29, 2008
51) Another Missed Opportunity with False Awakening
3/29/08
This morning I had the luxury of staying in bed for a while after awakening which is a rarity these days with my life schedule as it is.
The sun was already up and I put on my dark eye cover and relaxed back into a comfortable position, with the intent of going OOB. I even planned that WHEN I got out this time (setting of intent), I would exit the sliding door of the bedroom since I was not in my usual location (on the couch at night). I also asked that I be able to remember all and that if there was any help I could offer while OOB that I be shown what to do. I even placed my recorder in a different spot near the bed to be able to access it quicker and easier after awakening.
Well, as usual, ask and ‘ye shall receive’! Unfortunately, though, I feel I missed my opportunity to help, yet I try not to be too concerned as I feel I am still learning this strange new way of having a false awakening during which I meet others needing help.
I remember it took quite a while of visualization, including white light surrounding me, energy activations, and then taking my mind on a ‘virtual walk’ through a forest with a babbling stream environment that I love to do. I then became aware of the vibrations at some point, and was again happy to know I was about to get out.
However, this time, I also remember ‘playing’ with the vibrations for a bit, seeing what I could do with them. I am not sure what I was trying to do, but at one point I remember thinking, ‘oh well, that’s enough – time to get out!’
I was on my side, so I rolled over to my back and off the bed. Blind again as usual, I just dismissed it as routine and moved to the sliding door. Now, I also was so aware of my ‘physical’ shape, that I had the faintest thought that I could possibly NOT be OOB, just physically out of bed! I remember actually being able to touch and feel the walls and sliding door, and was for the faintest moment, concerned I would not be able to pass through such a ‘solid’ object.
However, due to my experiences previously, I also simultaneously KNEW that I WAS OOB, so my hand and body felt the ‘solidness’ but then felt it pass right through to the outside porch area. (I wanted to point this out as I feel it is a strong reminder that it is what you THINK things are, is what your mind will give you when OOB!)
I could ‘feel’ the brightness of the sun once outside and also remembered that my dog Buddy was sleeping on the porch furniture nearby. I thought, ‘gee, I guess this time he’s not aware of my presence because he’s awake’ as he made no attempt to move. (After fully awake I saw that Buddy was indeed on the porch furniture!)
At this point again, I wondered what to do! Since I now KNEW I was definitely OOB, I figured I’d jump off this second story porch and just take off! Funny thing, though, to get into position to jump, I distinctly remember having to ‘physically’ climb onto the porch railing!
I jumped, feeling the downward fall (surprisingly!) yet not concerned in the least. Coming within a few inches of the pavement, I said I have to do something constructive, so I affirmed ‘Inward now!’
I immediately started pulling back away from the house, watching it grow smaller and smaller, as I initially thought I’d pull back far enough to see the entire earth again. However, blackness enveloped me and I have only a foggy recall that something occurred at that point as a transition of sorts.
Now, I’m aware I’m back on my bed, slowly becoming aware. (Again, a false awakening starting here, but it was different in that I still felt this ‘altered mind state’ yet figured I had to be ‘waking’ since I was in my bed)
Now I could hear lots of noise and activity coming from a room just off the bedroom that sounded like my family members once again waking me up. This time, though, I know I heard other voices that vaguely sounded familiar, yet I couldn’t figure out who they could be. Realizing one was my sister I haven’t seen in a while, I just dismissed it as her coming to visit bringing others that I have not seen in a while as well.
So I roll over to where I had placed my recorder, and was surprised to find that not only was my recorder there, but there was a small radio and a TV remote there as well! I wondered who could have placed them there, and was a bit annoyed that it was taking me longer to get the recording going having to sort through all that was there. (Again, my focus at this time is always the fact that I have to record as quickly as possible as my recall of an OOBE is so fleeting)
Finding the recorder, I lie back on the bed sideways (unusual for me to do) and start recording the events of playing with the vibrations and getting OOB to the porch. Looking to my left, I see a room off the bedroom (that is not actually there!) where I know everyone is gathered, making the noise that woke me.
I see a young girl age 5-6 that is vaguely familiar. I know I have seen/met her before, and remember her as a very, very timid young girl. She’s wearing this ‘party’ wig of bright pink hair, yet I know her real hair color is blond. Her thin face and body is just as I ‘remembered’ it from before. She is sitting in this large straight-back chair, shaking her head ‘no’ in very small movements as if to tell me, ‘no, don’t come here to see me, don’t do anything’. I know she is easily frightened and timid, so I feel that continuing with my recording would be better than taking the chance of scaring her more.
It is at that time that I become fully aware I am really waking up and that this was all a false awakening again! I try very hard to relax back into that ‘altered mind state’ to reach the little girl, but to no avail. So I reached for the recorder and felt so ‘déjà vu’ when I starting recording the words that I know I already recorded in the false awakening!
Again, I feel I missed an opportunity to help someone, yet I also think I’m learning slowly how to ‘use’ this false awakening state of mind to perceive and interact with others who are receptive to my presence. Hopefully, with time and experience, I’ll figure out how to become more aware of the false awakening experience as it starts, not ends!
This morning I had the luxury of staying in bed for a while after awakening which is a rarity these days with my life schedule as it is.
The sun was already up and I put on my dark eye cover and relaxed back into a comfortable position, with the intent of going OOB. I even planned that WHEN I got out this time (setting of intent), I would exit the sliding door of the bedroom since I was not in my usual location (on the couch at night). I also asked that I be able to remember all and that if there was any help I could offer while OOB that I be shown what to do. I even placed my recorder in a different spot near the bed to be able to access it quicker and easier after awakening.
Well, as usual, ask and ‘ye shall receive’! Unfortunately, though, I feel I missed my opportunity to help, yet I try not to be too concerned as I feel I am still learning this strange new way of having a false awakening during which I meet others needing help.
I remember it took quite a while of visualization, including white light surrounding me, energy activations, and then taking my mind on a ‘virtual walk’ through a forest with a babbling stream environment that I love to do. I then became aware of the vibrations at some point, and was again happy to know I was about to get out.
However, this time, I also remember ‘playing’ with the vibrations for a bit, seeing what I could do with them. I am not sure what I was trying to do, but at one point I remember thinking, ‘oh well, that’s enough – time to get out!’
I was on my side, so I rolled over to my back and off the bed. Blind again as usual, I just dismissed it as routine and moved to the sliding door. Now, I also was so aware of my ‘physical’ shape, that I had the faintest thought that I could possibly NOT be OOB, just physically out of bed! I remember actually being able to touch and feel the walls and sliding door, and was for the faintest moment, concerned I would not be able to pass through such a ‘solid’ object.
However, due to my experiences previously, I also simultaneously KNEW that I WAS OOB, so my hand and body felt the ‘solidness’ but then felt it pass right through to the outside porch area. (I wanted to point this out as I feel it is a strong reminder that it is what you THINK things are, is what your mind will give you when OOB!)
I could ‘feel’ the brightness of the sun once outside and also remembered that my dog Buddy was sleeping on the porch furniture nearby. I thought, ‘gee, I guess this time he’s not aware of my presence because he’s awake’ as he made no attempt to move. (After fully awake I saw that Buddy was indeed on the porch furniture!)
At this point again, I wondered what to do! Since I now KNEW I was definitely OOB, I figured I’d jump off this second story porch and just take off! Funny thing, though, to get into position to jump, I distinctly remember having to ‘physically’ climb onto the porch railing!
I jumped, feeling the downward fall (surprisingly!) yet not concerned in the least. Coming within a few inches of the pavement, I said I have to do something constructive, so I affirmed ‘Inward now!’
I immediately started pulling back away from the house, watching it grow smaller and smaller, as I initially thought I’d pull back far enough to see the entire earth again. However, blackness enveloped me and I have only a foggy recall that something occurred at that point as a transition of sorts.
Now, I’m aware I’m back on my bed, slowly becoming aware. (Again, a false awakening starting here, but it was different in that I still felt this ‘altered mind state’ yet figured I had to be ‘waking’ since I was in my bed)
Now I could hear lots of noise and activity coming from a room just off the bedroom that sounded like my family members once again waking me up. This time, though, I know I heard other voices that vaguely sounded familiar, yet I couldn’t figure out who they could be. Realizing one was my sister I haven’t seen in a while, I just dismissed it as her coming to visit bringing others that I have not seen in a while as well.
So I roll over to where I had placed my recorder, and was surprised to find that not only was my recorder there, but there was a small radio and a TV remote there as well! I wondered who could have placed them there, and was a bit annoyed that it was taking me longer to get the recording going having to sort through all that was there. (Again, my focus at this time is always the fact that I have to record as quickly as possible as my recall of an OOBE is so fleeting)
Finding the recorder, I lie back on the bed sideways (unusual for me to do) and start recording the events of playing with the vibrations and getting OOB to the porch. Looking to my left, I see a room off the bedroom (that is not actually there!) where I know everyone is gathered, making the noise that woke me.
I see a young girl age 5-6 that is vaguely familiar. I know I have seen/met her before, and remember her as a very, very timid young girl. She’s wearing this ‘party’ wig of bright pink hair, yet I know her real hair color is blond. Her thin face and body is just as I ‘remembered’ it from before. She is sitting in this large straight-back chair, shaking her head ‘no’ in very small movements as if to tell me, ‘no, don’t come here to see me, don’t do anything’. I know she is easily frightened and timid, so I feel that continuing with my recording would be better than taking the chance of scaring her more.
It is at that time that I become fully aware I am really waking up and that this was all a false awakening again! I try very hard to relax back into that ‘altered mind state’ to reach the little girl, but to no avail. So I reached for the recorder and felt so ‘déjà vu’ when I starting recording the words that I know I already recorded in the false awakening!
Again, I feel I missed an opportunity to help someone, yet I also think I’m learning slowly how to ‘use’ this false awakening state of mind to perceive and interact with others who are receptive to my presence. Hopefully, with time and experience, I’ll figure out how to become more aware of the false awakening experience as it starts, not ends!
Sunday, March 16, 2008
50) Two part OBE - Hotel room and retrieval
3/15/08
This occurred while I am on a short vacation in Myrtle Beach, SC. My first recollection was that I was in full vibrations, and can remember having them for a while prior to exiting. I believe this gave me the awareness that I was about to get out, but it took so much longer than usual to separate.
Finally I rolled over to my right and stood up, remembering I was in an unfamiliar room (hotel) and had to be sure that I really was OOB because it felt so ‘real’! I felt the ‘heaviness’ and saw a dim outline of the furniture in the room. It was very dark, but I was not totally blind as usual, and the hotel room appeared identical to IP (in physical), so I knew I was ‘out’.
Since it appeared to be my hotel room, I knew where the outside door was and headed for it. As I exited the hotel door, I saw it was no longer the hotel, but an older style house with a ‘many roomed mansion’ feeling to it (and yet I thought nothing of this change in scenery!)
I went out to the balcony railing (as is IP), but started jumping up onto the different gabled roofs of the mansion! My vision would dim at times, so I said ‘clarity now!’ (I recall I said it ‘out loud’ instead of thinking it!) It never became perfectly clear but it was enough to ‘see’ what I was doing.
After jumping around the roofs a bit, I flew to the trees, ‘physically’ feeling the branches and leaves, just to be sure I really was able to! I stayed exploring in the immediate area, then jumped to the ground and enjoyed just lying on the ground feeling the earth beneath me.
At that point, I stood up, thinking I had to do something constructive while OOB. I remembered I wanted to visit a friend, gave a little ‘hop’ to start the travel, and was disappointed to fall right back down. Somehow, I knew I was not going to be able to go at that time.
I quickly found myself back in bed in my hotel room, thinking I had awakened from the OOBE. Picking up my recorder from the bedside, I was dismayed to find the battery dead. I get up (not realizing I was still OOB!) looking for a spare battery I knew I brought in my suitcase. The suitcase was on other bed in the hotel room, just like IP. I even remember using the flashlight I keep at my bedside to look in my suitcase, same as IP!
I heard someone out in the hallway, thinking my bedroom door must be open. It sounded like a vacuum cleaner running or possibly a shower? I didn’t even think it was unusual because I knew I was a guest staying in someone’s house (who was very rich), so of course he would have servants who would be working overnight doing work to get things ready. I was not alarmed at all for some reason to have them here in my ‘hotel’ room!
An older heavyset black woman comes in (had a ‘servant’ feel to her), yet she was wrapped in towel like she just got out of a shower! Strangely, I think nothing of this! She calls me by name, asking, ”what’s the matter?” and I say, “I’m just fine, just looking for something I need”, never telling her it was a battery I was looking for.
She was partially clothed, yet wrapped in a towel, and was soaking wet, dripping water on my floor! I politely was trying to get her to leave, and said to her, “Look at you! You are dripping wet!” (I was slightly annoyed at the water dripping on the floor and the fact that I needed her to leave so I could get the battery into the recorder quickly as I was afraid I’d forget my OOBE just previous to this!)
She said “Oh dear! Ok….” and reached over to the TV cabinet (that is really there IP in the hotel room) and handed me a (wrong size-AA) battery for my recorder. I already had my own out by then, but was surprised she knew what I needed because I never did tell her directly what I was looking for!
As she left, going back out to the hallway, she was talking to someone saying, “Did you call the doctor yet?” and I had the feeling that a baby was sick so the doctor needed to be called. I went back to bed to record my OOBE but then woke up completely, realizing it was a false awakening!
(Interesting to note here that my son had called me earlier that night to let me know that he was taking my new granddaughter to the doctors as she was very sick!)
I also think the fact that I had the OOBE with the change from a hotel room to a rich person’s multi-roomed mansion was necessary for me to maintain calmness and ‘rationale’ thinking when I had the false awakening and discovered that there were other people in my area that I would be interacting with.
Could this perhaps have been a housekeeper that used to work here in the hotel? She had more of a ’modern feeling’ to her, and the room looked identical to my actual hotel room, but yet when I was OOB outside it was a mansion with a late 18th-early 19th century feel to it.
This was the first false awakening that actually had someone else besides my family in it. I believe it could be that the previous ones with family may have taught me how to remain in this consciousness level just a bit longer before fully awakening. Is it possibly a way of keeping me in a lower astral level just a bit longer so that I can interact with those who are ‘living’ in this near physical realm? That’s what I’m getting a feeling it could be for.
Another interesting point is that almost every false awakening lately (at least the last three or four), has involved my recorder malfunctioning in some way. This may be a key factor that I should keep in mind to make me become aware that I am in this near physical state of consciousness and perhaps be able to stay in this level longer in order to interact with others here, like the older black woman.
Going back to bed, there was a part two of this night - another OOBE, but not in the near physical as this one was. I believe it may have involved some sort of ‘retrieval’ for a very distraught young woman, but I am just not sure. I remember asking that I be able to help someone should I get out again.
I again found myself in vibrations, but this time in bed focusing on a window I saw at the foot of the bed (not there IP). I knew I just had to focus on going out the window to get ready. So I requested help and protection and I quickly became aware of a screen or curtain to the right side of my bed. I could see a flickering of light coming from behind it, and intuitively knew that someone would be entering the room from there, so I prepared myself for contact.
Walking into the room was a young woman, who moved and talked very quickly. She appeared distraught, and was speaking a language I did not understand (German or European type with hard g’s and k’s). Again I intuitively knew I was not supposed to understand her, as she walked to the left side of my bed. I was alarmed, but still remained calm as she places her hand between my legs, and I remember saying “no!” It was at that point, I realized she was an abused woman, and was trying to tell me something.
I was able to coax her to sit on the bed, keeping her talking, just listening but not understanding. Finally, she got to the point where I was able to hug her, and then I proceeded to cradle her like a baby. Surprisingly, I can now understand her words as she is speaking in English, and she is telling me about her special place in the woods where she would go to get away sometimes.
I felt concerned that I didn’t know how to correctly deal with this situation, yet I knew I had to make her become aware she was not here IP anymore. I said “tell me what happened the last time” and she didn’t understand me, giving me a puzzled look.
Now I’m really concerned, thinking I said something wrong, so I clarified my sentence by asking, “no, the last time you were in the woods, tell me what happened. It’s ok; you can tell me…what did you do there?” Again I intuitively had the feeling that the last time she went in the woods was when she committed suicide.
Unfortunately, when I asked that question, it is exactly when I started fading back to awareness! Now I’m concerned because I don’t know if I said the wrong thing or if I said enough for her to realize the last time she was in the woods that that is what happened.
I tried to lie there, in that semi-awake stage, to ask if I did right or wrong but did not get any kind of validation. This was a definite interaction with a distraught soul, but I am not sure of its ending. I am hoping that by calming her down enough to make her remember in a more rational thought process what she did the last time she was in the woods would enable her to deal with where she was at now and allow her to cross over completely. At least that is what I am hoping for, as I do not want to think I did more harm than good!
One last event I recorded was just before awakening the next morning, when I recall hearing words that knew to be very important and profound. All I could remember of it was the following that I recorded: “You have always had a clear and open channel to God/Universe….all we have to do is look for it. Every single person has it; many just don’t know to seek it, or chose to ignore it, or just don’t chose to use it.
This occurred while I am on a short vacation in Myrtle Beach, SC. My first recollection was that I was in full vibrations, and can remember having them for a while prior to exiting. I believe this gave me the awareness that I was about to get out, but it took so much longer than usual to separate.
Finally I rolled over to my right and stood up, remembering I was in an unfamiliar room (hotel) and had to be sure that I really was OOB because it felt so ‘real’! I felt the ‘heaviness’ and saw a dim outline of the furniture in the room. It was very dark, but I was not totally blind as usual, and the hotel room appeared identical to IP (in physical), so I knew I was ‘out’.
Since it appeared to be my hotel room, I knew where the outside door was and headed for it. As I exited the hotel door, I saw it was no longer the hotel, but an older style house with a ‘many roomed mansion’ feeling to it (and yet I thought nothing of this change in scenery!)
I went out to the balcony railing (as is IP), but started jumping up onto the different gabled roofs of the mansion! My vision would dim at times, so I said ‘clarity now!’ (I recall I said it ‘out loud’ instead of thinking it!) It never became perfectly clear but it was enough to ‘see’ what I was doing.
After jumping around the roofs a bit, I flew to the trees, ‘physically’ feeling the branches and leaves, just to be sure I really was able to! I stayed exploring in the immediate area, then jumped to the ground and enjoyed just lying on the ground feeling the earth beneath me.
At that point, I stood up, thinking I had to do something constructive while OOB. I remembered I wanted to visit a friend, gave a little ‘hop’ to start the travel, and was disappointed to fall right back down. Somehow, I knew I was not going to be able to go at that time.
I quickly found myself back in bed in my hotel room, thinking I had awakened from the OOBE. Picking up my recorder from the bedside, I was dismayed to find the battery dead. I get up (not realizing I was still OOB!) looking for a spare battery I knew I brought in my suitcase. The suitcase was on other bed in the hotel room, just like IP. I even remember using the flashlight I keep at my bedside to look in my suitcase, same as IP!
I heard someone out in the hallway, thinking my bedroom door must be open. It sounded like a vacuum cleaner running or possibly a shower? I didn’t even think it was unusual because I knew I was a guest staying in someone’s house (who was very rich), so of course he would have servants who would be working overnight doing work to get things ready. I was not alarmed at all for some reason to have them here in my ‘hotel’ room!
An older heavyset black woman comes in (had a ‘servant’ feel to her), yet she was wrapped in towel like she just got out of a shower! Strangely, I think nothing of this! She calls me by name, asking, ”what’s the matter?” and I say, “I’m just fine, just looking for something I need”, never telling her it was a battery I was looking for.
She was partially clothed, yet wrapped in a towel, and was soaking wet, dripping water on my floor! I politely was trying to get her to leave, and said to her, “Look at you! You are dripping wet!” (I was slightly annoyed at the water dripping on the floor and the fact that I needed her to leave so I could get the battery into the recorder quickly as I was afraid I’d forget my OOBE just previous to this!)
She said “Oh dear! Ok….” and reached over to the TV cabinet (that is really there IP in the hotel room) and handed me a (wrong size-AA) battery for my recorder. I already had my own out by then, but was surprised she knew what I needed because I never did tell her directly what I was looking for!
As she left, going back out to the hallway, she was talking to someone saying, “Did you call the doctor yet?” and I had the feeling that a baby was sick so the doctor needed to be called. I went back to bed to record my OOBE but then woke up completely, realizing it was a false awakening!
(Interesting to note here that my son had called me earlier that night to let me know that he was taking my new granddaughter to the doctors as she was very sick!)
I also think the fact that I had the OOBE with the change from a hotel room to a rich person’s multi-roomed mansion was necessary for me to maintain calmness and ‘rationale’ thinking when I had the false awakening and discovered that there were other people in my area that I would be interacting with.
Could this perhaps have been a housekeeper that used to work here in the hotel? She had more of a ’modern feeling’ to her, and the room looked identical to my actual hotel room, but yet when I was OOB outside it was a mansion with a late 18th-early 19th century feel to it.
This was the first false awakening that actually had someone else besides my family in it. I believe it could be that the previous ones with family may have taught me how to remain in this consciousness level just a bit longer before fully awakening. Is it possibly a way of keeping me in a lower astral level just a bit longer so that I can interact with those who are ‘living’ in this near physical realm? That’s what I’m getting a feeling it could be for.
Another interesting point is that almost every false awakening lately (at least the last three or four), has involved my recorder malfunctioning in some way. This may be a key factor that I should keep in mind to make me become aware that I am in this near physical state of consciousness and perhaps be able to stay in this level longer in order to interact with others here, like the older black woman.
Going back to bed, there was a part two of this night - another OOBE, but not in the near physical as this one was. I believe it may have involved some sort of ‘retrieval’ for a very distraught young woman, but I am just not sure. I remember asking that I be able to help someone should I get out again.
I again found myself in vibrations, but this time in bed focusing on a window I saw at the foot of the bed (not there IP). I knew I just had to focus on going out the window to get ready. So I requested help and protection and I quickly became aware of a screen or curtain to the right side of my bed. I could see a flickering of light coming from behind it, and intuitively knew that someone would be entering the room from there, so I prepared myself for contact.
Walking into the room was a young woman, who moved and talked very quickly. She appeared distraught, and was speaking a language I did not understand (German or European type with hard g’s and k’s). Again I intuitively knew I was not supposed to understand her, as she walked to the left side of my bed. I was alarmed, but still remained calm as she places her hand between my legs, and I remember saying “no!” It was at that point, I realized she was an abused woman, and was trying to tell me something.
I was able to coax her to sit on the bed, keeping her talking, just listening but not understanding. Finally, she got to the point where I was able to hug her, and then I proceeded to cradle her like a baby. Surprisingly, I can now understand her words as she is speaking in English, and she is telling me about her special place in the woods where she would go to get away sometimes.
I felt concerned that I didn’t know how to correctly deal with this situation, yet I knew I had to make her become aware she was not here IP anymore. I said “tell me what happened the last time” and she didn’t understand me, giving me a puzzled look.
Now I’m really concerned, thinking I said something wrong, so I clarified my sentence by asking, “no, the last time you were in the woods, tell me what happened. It’s ok; you can tell me…what did you do there?” Again I intuitively had the feeling that the last time she went in the woods was when she committed suicide.
Unfortunately, when I asked that question, it is exactly when I started fading back to awareness! Now I’m concerned because I don’t know if I said the wrong thing or if I said enough for her to realize the last time she was in the woods that that is what happened.
I tried to lie there, in that semi-awake stage, to ask if I did right or wrong but did not get any kind of validation. This was a definite interaction with a distraught soul, but I am not sure of its ending. I am hoping that by calming her down enough to make her remember in a more rational thought process what she did the last time she was in the woods would enable her to deal with where she was at now and allow her to cross over completely. At least that is what I am hoping for, as I do not want to think I did more harm than good!
One last event I recorded was just before awakening the next morning, when I recall hearing words that knew to be very important and profound. All I could remember of it was the following that I recorded: “You have always had a clear and open channel to God/Universe….all we have to do is look for it. Every single person has it; many just don’t know to seek it, or chose to ignore it, or just don’t chose to use it.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
49) Multiple exits OOBE
3/06/08
Well, it was quite the busy night for me!! Multiple exits - the most I can even remember in one night! I'm not sure what's going on, but I'm having more at a time, but less involved....
I was on the couch, again with the wish to travel to the Temple of Healing as my intention. I became aware the TV was on, (some comedy show) but also knew it probably wasn't really on. Then the vibrations started (I believe I somehow 'start' them when I know I'm ready). I was excited but stayed calm.
I strongly affirmed "out of body now!" and was able to sit up and roll out. I affirmed, "to the door!" and moved to the side door of my house, feeling the heaviness disappear. Then, "to the outside!" and while passing through the door, I was able to see my glowing white ethereal hand, a confirmation that I was definitely in the 'near-physical OOB' despite my knowing this already. (I always seek that extra validation for some reason!)
Now I'm on the porch, I say "clarity now!" and am able to see the trees and yard, much like it looks in IP. I wondered what to do now (not remembering my goal this time), and as I looked around I heard thunder, thinking, 'wow, is it going to rain?' At this point my dog Buddy came into room, making so much noise, I became fully awake on the couch, with no sign of rain or thunder in the area.
I attempted to reinduce, again with the intent of traveling to the Temple of Healing. Again, I became aware that I was now in a sitting position on the couch, and yet knowing that it's not my 'normal' position. So realizing I could get out, I just climbed over the back of the couch.
As with a previous OOBE, I was disoriented getting out that direction and felt some confusion as to whether I was really out or not. I affirmed, 'to the outdoors' and at the same time I DID remember I wanted to travel to the Temple of Healing, so I affirmed my intent. There was still some confusion, but I started spinning within, and then started to pull back as if to travel down the tunnel, but for some reason I thought I was becoming awake.
So now that I think I'm awake, I try to record my experience but noticed that the recorder was 'full' and not able to work. (Never had that happen before) So I had to get up off the couch to go to the computer to download what I had to empty it. While at the computer I noticed the outside porch light was on (saw it through my window by the computer) and wondered why I had forgotten to turn it off last night.
At that point, I actually became fully awake and saw I was still on couch! (so the move to the computer was OOB!) I am wondering if I'm not supposed to travel there at this time...but at least I remembered I wanted to!
Again I try to re-induce, but knowing that traveling to the Temple of Healing is not going to work, I set my intention on what William Buhlman always says is the best to do when OOB. That is to go "to my higher self".
This is the strange part for me. I absolutely know I was out and doing something, as I remember going over it in detail as I was pulling back to enhance recall. I know I recorded it, but for some strange reason, no recording was made! I remember talking into it, and I'm sure I used it correctly. I don't know if it was operator error or just didn't record.
Now, as I'm fully awake on the couch, I find I have lost everything! Not one detail of recall remains! So I attempted to relax back to recall but absolutely no details came back. There was such a 'blankness' that I have never experienced before! Maybe I wasn't supposed to 'remember' this? or maybe it was just not comprehensible to my awake mind?
I do remember that upon awakening fully from this experience, there was such a marked difference in the 'consciousness' sensation - it's tough to describe, but you actually feel the change in mentation.
Now for the fourth time, I attempt to re-induce and become aware of traveling down a road (a good signal for me that I'm ready to go out). So I continued on off the road and up into the trees, just looking around. This was more like astral vision with the observing of things, not that strong feeling of being OOB. I didn't remember to say where I wanted to go, as I felt as though I had little or no control anyway.
I found myself again in the black tunnel, backwards, traveling for a long, long, long time! There was the same vibrations as before, but I tried not to focus on them as I think that was what stopped me previously.
I continued on with the tunnel and finally said "I am at my destination now" to get it to stop! (That was Droxine's suggestion I did remember! - instead of "I go to....", I should say "I am AT...." to see if the travel time lessens. This isn't exactly how I intended to use it, but it did work in stopping the very long 'tunnel travel'!)
I immediately slowed down, and was looking at a huge multi-room house, much like a resort would have, but I feel this was residential houses. It was wintertime, as I saw snow on the yards and roads, lit by the streetlights.
It had a wealthy feeling to the area, with many large houses along the street. I personally felt as if I was sitting, traveling backward (slowly), in something I am not familiar with, possible a horse-drawn carriage. I wondered to myself if this was possibly a past-life experience I was watching?
We turned onto another street, and I tried to see if there was anything I could recognize. The crossroad we were at was familiar with a section where I live now, but the houses were very different.
We turned into a driveway on the right, and strangely, I could then feel branches(?) touching my right arm! It was an actual physical sensation, and I recall saying, "what is this?"
At that point, the scene melded into my daughter standing at the side of my bed, trying to wake me up, (which I thought was for real!) by touching my same right arm. I was diappointed that she stopped my travels and woke me, and she's asking me something that I can't understand. I ask her to repeat it 2-3 times, but still can't understand her words!
I'm also thinking I don't want to wake too much, because I wanted to recall the first part of my experience, so I then melded back into the dreamstate and was able to recall what I did initially.
I was surprised to find myself then fully awake, on the couch (not bed!) and discover that it was another false awakening, but within an experience. I am so confused as to why this happened! Why did she have to wake me (false awakened) during an actual travel? I just don't understand what's going on!
Well, it was quite the busy night for me!! Multiple exits - the most I can even remember in one night! I'm not sure what's going on, but I'm having more at a time, but less involved....
I was on the couch, again with the wish to travel to the Temple of Healing as my intention. I became aware the TV was on, (some comedy show) but also knew it probably wasn't really on. Then the vibrations started (I believe I somehow 'start' them when I know I'm ready). I was excited but stayed calm.
I strongly affirmed "out of body now!" and was able to sit up and roll out. I affirmed, "to the door!" and moved to the side door of my house, feeling the heaviness disappear. Then, "to the outside!" and while passing through the door, I was able to see my glowing white ethereal hand, a confirmation that I was definitely in the 'near-physical OOB' despite my knowing this already. (I always seek that extra validation for some reason!)
Now I'm on the porch, I say "clarity now!" and am able to see the trees and yard, much like it looks in IP. I wondered what to do now (not remembering my goal this time), and as I looked around I heard thunder, thinking, 'wow, is it going to rain?' At this point my dog Buddy came into room, making so much noise, I became fully awake on the couch, with no sign of rain or thunder in the area.
I attempted to reinduce, again with the intent of traveling to the Temple of Healing. Again, I became aware that I was now in a sitting position on the couch, and yet knowing that it's not my 'normal' position. So realizing I could get out, I just climbed over the back of the couch.
As with a previous OOBE, I was disoriented getting out that direction and felt some confusion as to whether I was really out or not. I affirmed, 'to the outdoors' and at the same time I DID remember I wanted to travel to the Temple of Healing, so I affirmed my intent. There was still some confusion, but I started spinning within, and then started to pull back as if to travel down the tunnel, but for some reason I thought I was becoming awake.
So now that I think I'm awake, I try to record my experience but noticed that the recorder was 'full' and not able to work. (Never had that happen before) So I had to get up off the couch to go to the computer to download what I had to empty it. While at the computer I noticed the outside porch light was on (saw it through my window by the computer) and wondered why I had forgotten to turn it off last night.
At that point, I actually became fully awake and saw I was still on couch! (so the move to the computer was OOB!) I am wondering if I'm not supposed to travel there at this time...but at least I remembered I wanted to!
Again I try to re-induce, but knowing that traveling to the Temple of Healing is not going to work, I set my intention on what William Buhlman always says is the best to do when OOB. That is to go "to my higher self".
This is the strange part for me. I absolutely know I was out and doing something, as I remember going over it in detail as I was pulling back to enhance recall. I know I recorded it, but for some strange reason, no recording was made! I remember talking into it, and I'm sure I used it correctly. I don't know if it was operator error or just didn't record.
Now, as I'm fully awake on the couch, I find I have lost everything! Not one detail of recall remains! So I attempted to relax back to recall but absolutely no details came back. There was such a 'blankness' that I have never experienced before! Maybe I wasn't supposed to 'remember' this? or maybe it was just not comprehensible to my awake mind?
I do remember that upon awakening fully from this experience, there was such a marked difference in the 'consciousness' sensation - it's tough to describe, but you actually feel the change in mentation.
Now for the fourth time, I attempt to re-induce and become aware of traveling down a road (a good signal for me that I'm ready to go out). So I continued on off the road and up into the trees, just looking around. This was more like astral vision with the observing of things, not that strong feeling of being OOB. I didn't remember to say where I wanted to go, as I felt as though I had little or no control anyway.
I found myself again in the black tunnel, backwards, traveling for a long, long, long time! There was the same vibrations as before, but I tried not to focus on them as I think that was what stopped me previously.
I continued on with the tunnel and finally said "I am at my destination now" to get it to stop! (That was Droxine's suggestion I did remember! - instead of "I go to....", I should say "I am AT...." to see if the travel time lessens. This isn't exactly how I intended to use it, but it did work in stopping the very long 'tunnel travel'!)
I immediately slowed down, and was looking at a huge multi-room house, much like a resort would have, but I feel this was residential houses. It was wintertime, as I saw snow on the yards and roads, lit by the streetlights.
It had a wealthy feeling to the area, with many large houses along the street. I personally felt as if I was sitting, traveling backward (slowly), in something I am not familiar with, possible a horse-drawn carriage. I wondered to myself if this was possibly a past-life experience I was watching?
We turned onto another street, and I tried to see if there was anything I could recognize. The crossroad we were at was familiar with a section where I live now, but the houses were very different.
We turned into a driveway on the right, and strangely, I could then feel branches(?) touching my right arm! It was an actual physical sensation, and I recall saying, "what is this?"
At that point, the scene melded into my daughter standing at the side of my bed, trying to wake me up, (which I thought was for real!) by touching my same right arm. I was diappointed that she stopped my travels and woke me, and she's asking me something that I can't understand. I ask her to repeat it 2-3 times, but still can't understand her words!
I'm also thinking I don't want to wake too much, because I wanted to recall the first part of my experience, so I then melded back into the dreamstate and was able to recall what I did initially.
I was surprised to find myself then fully awake, on the couch (not bed!) and discover that it was another false awakening, but within an experience. I am so confused as to why this happened! Why did she have to wake me (false awakened) during an actual travel? I just don't understand what's going on!
Sunday, March 2, 2008
48) Another 'Almost there' OOBE
3/02/08
I have just returned from a trip with my son, wife, and grandchild and while I was in the hotel, I had another traveling experience, although again, it really wasn't much....and stopped MUCH too soon!!!
I am reading a book by Dolores Cannon about her regressions for the 'in-between' lives in the book called, "Between Death and Life". It's so interesting...and the chapter I had just finished there was about one person's travel to the Temple of Healing with the Chamber of Colors and Light...(a beautifully described place with gemstones and light that heals the etheric body)....as well as their visit to the Tapestry of Life. (Another more complex form of the Akashic records instead of a book/library)
I was so enthralled with its description that I thought I'd put in the intent to travel there. Amazingly, I was able to become aware I was 'getting out', but not in the near physical. I was aware of being at the top of a mountain, looking over the valley and trees below, and knowing I was able to continue on 'out' off the mountain and fly.
As I flew, my view of the trees and valley became more and more 'cloudy' as I felt I was being pulled backward. It was at this point that I was fully aware, and very conscious, that I could go wherever I wanted. I remembered easily that I wanted to go to the "Temple of Healing" and put in my affirmation as such.
The backward travel became faster, darker (as if through a tunnel), with physical vibratory sensations being felt on my left hip and head areas. I was very comfortable with the mode of travel (having done it many times) and was trying to keep my excitement (which I felt I did) to a minimum.
Just as the travel started to slow, I clearly heard a MUFFLED female voice say something, (about 4-5 words), but I could not understand any of it!! I remember asking, "please repeat!" knowing it was something important, and had the impression somehow it was about my 'breathing"(?) I was confused as I was not breathing any differently than usual - so maybe my impression was wrong, I just am not sure.
Unfortunately, right after hearing the words, I became fully aware - to the point of being awake! I was SO disappointed to find myself unable to get back to where I was....
Later, I again became aware of my hands being gently and loving caressed and can remember wondering who would be doing this - but also not wanting to move because it felt so good! At the same time, I could 'hear' the clockradio go off, playing the song "Amazing Grace", and wonder who set that alarm as I knew I didn't! At that point the hand massage and radio went was gone, and I realized it was a 'false awakening'.
I don't know if that was a consolation for not reaching my intended destination or not, but that was the extent of my travels for the rest of the night.
I'm happy I'm able to consciously remember my destinations, but Ihave not yet been able to get there!! lol
I have just returned from a trip with my son, wife, and grandchild and while I was in the hotel, I had another traveling experience, although again, it really wasn't much....and stopped MUCH too soon!!!
I am reading a book by Dolores Cannon about her regressions for the 'in-between' lives in the book called, "Between Death and Life". It's so interesting...and the chapter I had just finished there was about one person's travel to the Temple of Healing with the Chamber of Colors and Light...(a beautifully described place with gemstones and light that heals the etheric body)....as well as their visit to the Tapestry of Life. (Another more complex form of the Akashic records instead of a book/library)
I was so enthralled with its description that I thought I'd put in the intent to travel there. Amazingly, I was able to become aware I was 'getting out', but not in the near physical. I was aware of being at the top of a mountain, looking over the valley and trees below, and knowing I was able to continue on 'out' off the mountain and fly.
As I flew, my view of the trees and valley became more and more 'cloudy' as I felt I was being pulled backward. It was at this point that I was fully aware, and very conscious, that I could go wherever I wanted. I remembered easily that I wanted to go to the "Temple of Healing" and put in my affirmation as such.
The backward travel became faster, darker (as if through a tunnel), with physical vibratory sensations being felt on my left hip and head areas. I was very comfortable with the mode of travel (having done it many times) and was trying to keep my excitement (which I felt I did) to a minimum.
Just as the travel started to slow, I clearly heard a MUFFLED female voice say something, (about 4-5 words), but I could not understand any of it!! I remember asking, "please repeat!" knowing it was something important, and had the impression somehow it was about my 'breathing"(?) I was confused as I was not breathing any differently than usual - so maybe my impression was wrong, I just am not sure.
Unfortunately, right after hearing the words, I became fully aware - to the point of being awake! I was SO disappointed to find myself unable to get back to where I was....
Later, I again became aware of my hands being gently and loving caressed and can remember wondering who would be doing this - but also not wanting to move because it felt so good! At the same time, I could 'hear' the clockradio go off, playing the song "Amazing Grace", and wonder who set that alarm as I knew I didn't! At that point the hand massage and radio went was gone, and I realized it was a 'false awakening'.
I don't know if that was a consolation for not reaching my intended destination or not, but that was the extent of my travels for the rest of the night.
I'm happy I'm able to consciously remember my destinations, but Ihave not yet been able to get there!! lol
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