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Friday, February 15, 2008

Commentary for Experience #45

I just wanted to share some views from Kiauma, thank you for your thoughts!

KIAUMA writes:

Leland talks about the ultimate 'purpose' of it all. He says creation comes from the Divine, where it falls down to the gross physical level, then rises back to the divine as differentiated consciousness. Our souls are that 'differentiated' (individual) Divinity that raises back up.

I see all of your dreams supporting that in a variety of metaphors.

From the 'warnings' of the first dream ( not published here), to the hospital -> New building setting of the second dream, to the direct supporting experience of the third experience.

One key metaphor that keeps recurring is the one of food. Food is, literally, a sustenance. We are what we eat, so we must be careful what we eat, depending on what we want to be! You will also notice that entry to the new wing in dream #2 was made difficult by "dog food" in and around the entrance - indeed!

Also in dream #2 you were able to 'feed' one of the entities something to 'help' him. This is significant because of the dream setting, especially in relation to everything else in the dream, strengthening the link between 'food', sustenance, and the self.

Often, when we dream of a building, it is metaphorical of our self, or at least can be looked at that way (dreams often have layers of meanings, but I will concentrate on this one). Notice it is the 'old' part of the hospital that harbors the negative entity - this could symbolize some element of your shadow self, something to be 'left' if you are able to move into the building that is 'under construction'...?

In short - keep doing what you are. You are at a critical transition in perspectives. Be careful what you 'eat' - the information and worldviews you allow yourself to consume, as your hard won spiritual views and values could still be weakened by cynicism, negativity, or other shortsighted, careless, or outright mean views.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

45) Two Part OOBE - Gratitude

2/10/08

Both of these experiences happened the same night - with only enough time for me to record Part one before lapsing into Part two!!

I also want to say that I did 'request' some help from the Universe with regard to my recent feelings of being overwhelmed with my IP life and fear of not having time to attend to my 'other life' OOB....so I guess this was to show me that I still am 'working' hard, both IP and OOB!

I don’t even know how to begin to explain this first ‘dream’ event, and I recall I was not even going to record it as it didn’t feel as though I would be able to properly describe what I could remember. There are some details, yet so much was lost to translation and awakening. However, I am SO glad I did record it as it was an important prelude to a most wonderful OOB experience!

PART ONE -

The first recall I have is that I am going to all these different rooms helping people in this building that felt like a ‘hospital-type facility. I especially recall two rooms where these ‘entities’ lived – I call them entities because I knew they were not ‘real people’ and yet they were not spirit form either. Actually, with both of these, I don’t recall any shape or form whatsoever associated with them.

The first room was described as a ‘haunted’ room (best translation I can give) where people would go to talk to this one corner where such strong ‘energy’ lived. I knew that it was ‘more’ than I could deal with, yet I wanted to keep trying to do something to help.

Other people were allowed to go there to try to work with it, so when I asked to see this room, I remember someone was standing with me at the doorway of the room. I could feel tremendous negative, dark, strong energy pulsating from the corner of that room, the same ‘radiant heat’ type waves that I had felt from a previous OOB experience with negative energy. I remember I tried to communicate with it but felt bad when I couldn’t do anything to help and had to walk away.

I went on to other people and other rooms that I could help, and the only other room I remember is where this ‘invalid-type’ long-term chronic entity resided. I can’t really described exactly what it was except that I felt it was one who was solely dependent upon the services of the workers there at the facility to survive.

With this entity I was able to help, as I remember being able to give him some ‘food’ of sorts and alter his nourishment in some way that I felt would help. It was at this time that I realized I‘m there in this ‘doctor/nurse’ type role and was assisting the residents of the facility.

The workers who were there were SO thankful for my presence there and my help. I felt I was just stopping by and offering my assistance, yet they were so appreciative of what I was doing (I only wish I could recall exactly what I was doing there!)

I remember that just as I was leaving this one building where the ‘dark entity’ lived, I wanted to stop by his room just to say goodbye. I remember peeking in the doorway, being polite, and saying “I just wanted to say goodbye, I’m leaving now”. I felt a short little ‘blast’ of energy come at me, as I attempted one more time to ‘break through’ to it. I doubted it would work, but just had to try one more time before leaving.

I started to walk back into another building that was still under construction that was felt to be an ‘extension’ of the existing building I had just left. Upon entry to this building I remember meeting some workers who were leaving for the day, who hollered for me and wanted to say good night and thanks again for all my help. I hollered back ‘you’re welcome’ and had such a wonderful satisfied feeling of having been some sort of help there.

Before walking into the new building, I had to step around and step over stuff that looked like ‘dog food’ of some sort on the ground, and made a funny comment to the worker there about how difficult it was to get inside this other building, but it wasn’t impossible.

I am accompanied by a doctor I work for (in real life), and felt like I was on his level, which I believe was just to show me what capacity I was there in. Other people walked in and I attempted to tell them that the individuals they were looking for were in the other building, as this one was still under construction.

I left there with such a light, jovial, satisfied and contented feeling – happy knowing I was able to be of assistance to these individuals.

PART II - Near Physical OOBE

I was on the couch and became aware of the light buzzing sensation, being aware I was about to get OOB. I felt my legs lift and move, and then just rolled out off the couch and was standing there. As usual, it was dark, but yet I knew to say ‘to the door’ at which time I was immediately at the door, with a ‘lighter’ sensation having moved away from my IP body.

Not remembering what I wanted to do, I then said ‘to the stoop!’ which brought me outside on the front porch stoop. I said ‘awareness now!’ and was amazed at the clarity of vision I had. I stood there, admiring my same front yard, at night, but so much prettier because everything had such a beautiful ‘glow’ about it.

Again, I figured I’d just ‘take off’ and bent down to do the usual little ‘jump’ to start flying. As I do this, I hear off to my right, the most beautiful voice I have ever heard call my name, apologize for interrupting me, and asked if I could talk with her for a little while. I was taken aback and stunned at her ‘presence’ that I was actually frozen in mid-take off stance!!! lol There was such a strong feeling of peace, love, and expansiveness feeling emanating from her!

I never asked her name, just somehow knew who she was. There was no ‘form’ associated with her so I could not give any description of her features. We sat together and she said she wanted to talk with me about my ‘work’ and where I had been. She was so appreciative and grateful for the work that I had done (now I’m associating this with my just previous ‘dream’ experience with the ‘hospital’ facility) and wanted to express her thanks, but it was in such a profusely powerful way that made me feel so good!

She said that I had exceeded all expectations and with a smile said she just would like to ‘send me back there to work – forever’ because I did such outstanding work. I told her that I enjoyed doing it just as much, but felt she already knew that.

She said, “I do want to tell you though that the ‘vegetative one’ (best translation I could make) did ‘move on’ and would not be there” when I went back. But I did such good work and there was so much more do to there. The grateful, appreciative feeling was so immense, coming both from of us during this conversation.

She’s now giving me these papers to read, to take with me, and I remember asking, “am I going to have these when I wake up?” knowing that I was OOB and could not bring them back. I was wondering how I could get this ‘reading’ material back with me when she says, “well, I’m hoping you are recording this”.

Sitting next to her, I knew I had my recorder in my hand, and am trying desperately to put it back together as it had fallen apart in pieces! Now I’m upset that I can’t get it put back together fast enough!!

At some point she’s telling me so many other things, but all I remember is seeing the words to a short little song that I recall knowing from somewhere. She started to sing this short little song to me, in the most wonderfully sweet voice that I have ever heard! It was like ‘soda’(?) names, rhythmic-like words similar to “Thank Pop, Thank God, Thank Rock…..” with another line I don’t remember – it just made me feel SO good!

Off to my right, my best friend comes up and starts talking about how ‘good I am’, how I give so much of my time to others, and such things. She telling this ‘woman’ (and myself) how I do so many things, including things I do that I shouldn’t do – like eating shrimp…(this is a standing joke with my friend and myself – as I am severely allergic to shrimp and can find it in the most unusual places – having a major reaction that she usually has to deal with! lol)

The woman did say I had to take care and be careful about what I do eat. I felt I was being told to be more aware of what I am eating and how I am eating.

The most awesome part of this entire experience is the feelings that I had throughout the experience. Such gratitude, happiness, and peacefulness that surrounded everything just cannot be put into words!

(See next blog post for commentary)

Friday, February 1, 2008

44) Pulling Pieces Together OOBE

2/01/08 6:30am

I went OOB again this morning after awakening, just for a short travel, but again it was with a new transition to it. I really think now, that all the 'pieces' are coming together - the 'false awakenings', the out-of-sync feelings, the repeated questioning of 'is it real' or is it IP? - the knowing of what it 'feels' like (I guess my energy perceptions...)

Driving home from graduate school last night, late and it's dark and a good 30 minute ride - I had the time to think, and made the observation that 'gee, this could easily be a prelude to OOB' - BUT - it is such a different 'feel' to my questioning that I had NO concern at all that it was IP. (Don't worry, I'm not becoming confused as to what 'state of consciousness' I'm in!)

I just used it as an example to compare to my OOB 'questioning' of reality - which made a lightbulb go on in my head. There IS a difference in 'feeling' to tell when you are IP or OOB - and the mere fact that you actually take a second to stop and 'question reality' will tell me that I AM ready to go out. (Is this making sense??)

By having all those false awakenings and real IP scenes in the prelude to OOBs actually helped me make this perception of consciousness easier now.

So, this morning I became aware I was doing something at my Mom's house outside, playing games with children and a ball - and ran to go get it when it went into the neighbors yard. At the point I was crossing the stone wall (that is there IP), I stopped for a second and wondered, "am I really here or not?" which immediately made me remember that anytime I'm questioning reality like that, to just try to 'take off' because I am usually OOB.

(I also figured if I wasn't I'd just jump and fall down - not too bad a price to pay for the chance to OOB!)

So I jumped, and took off! Such flying freedom again, I just wish you could be there too! I actually played around with the ball and as it came down, tried to catch it with my feet, upside down! lol

The next I remember I'm carrying this young girl - I related it to my daughter at age 3-4, yet it didn't look like her - so I'm actually thinking this may have been me (!) - is that possible? I'm showing her how to fly and how much fun it is - I even 'flipped' her over to show the freedom but she got scared so I stopped and apologized for the scare.

We went into a house with many room, but I can only recall the last room, an old attic type room with lots of 'fixtures' and 'stuff'. We were outside the door, peering in, and I'm telling her it's the 'astral room' with all stuff you use when you go to the astral.

We never went inside and the experience faded shortly thereafter - but one other thing I remember was that my 'talk' with the young girl was nonverbal (of course), yet was in an 'adult' language, not in a normal language you would use for a 3-4 year old.

COMMENTARY: Again with this experience, the transition was the new development for me. Becoming more sensitive to what I am feeling is my key to further travels.

As always, you wonder why you have such experiences as 'false awakenings' and confusing with perception while OOB, but in the end, you find the Universe has an orderly plan to put it all together for a very good reason! I am excited to know that I am progressing as planned, and am looking forward to even more wonderful experiences!

New Energy Perceptions Started

Lately my personal life has been so busy that I have found myself overly tired and overly stressed for a good part of the week. With this extreme tiredness, I also have had new sensations happening with my perception of energy movement.

Whether the extreme fatigue has caused me to lower my 'defenses' or I just get more 'sensitive' to this, I am not sure. But it takes very little now to feel that slight 'out-of-sync' sensation and energy movement when I close my eyes and relax just a little.

Actually, in seeing how things are changing a bit OOB, I believe this all fits - my ability to perceive energy differences has improved to the point where I am able to tell where my 'conscious' state is. This allows me a greater ease in transitioning to the other energy body when I so desire.

Perhaps I needed to have this very stressful week in order to 'awaken' my senses!

These experiences are happening much more frequently lately and yet Iam not really trying! This is a very, very busy time for me IP, andnow it seems a busy time OOB as well!

Balancing these two 'lives' is quite a challenge - yet I feel one is just as important as the other! It helps though, just to share these experiences and see what others may think of what's happening. It's exciting, but it's also very challenging to keep up with!! lol

43) New Perceptions to OOBE

1/31/08 5:30am

I was awake before the alarm time, and lying in bed worrying about the busy day ahead. Realizing this is such an unproductive waste of time to lie in bed doing, I told myself emphatically that the IP life will always be there, but the chance to go OOB will not!

So I mentally changed my 'focus', throwing aside all concerns and worries about the upcoming day (which in itself is no small feat for me to do!) and felt myself settling back into working on getting out.

I became aware I was in a chair (IP I was lying on my right side in bed), but leaning toward my right. My husband was talking to me about mundane things, and I remember thinking, ‘is this real?’ and at the same time looked out the window to see ‘time’ moving very fast.

Now what I ‘saw’ was the scenery moving past fast (as if in a car), but it registered quite normally as ‘time’ moving along, and I remarked at how fast time is moving lately. (The scenery was trees and hills in full autumn beauty)

This then coalesced into my thinking, “hey I could ‘pretend’ I’m in a car with the ‘time’ moving by”, and I realize I am now sitting in a captain’s chair in a van, while it’s moving . I’m still on my right, watching the scenery move by, and realize that my vision is slowly ‘clouding’ up, and the colors are fading to black and white.

So at the point where I can only ‘see’ clearly through a small center hole, I remember that this is the same ‘view’ I get with ‘astral vision’, so I say, “hey, I must be ready to get out!” With that, my left leg starts moving all around, up and over by my right side (MUCH more malleable than it is IP!) and that tells me, ‘ok, great! I’m getting out!’

So I then move my arms as well, feeling just a bit stuck, but then give a huge ‘heave-ho’ with my head and rest of body, to find myself standing quite comfortable outside of it!! Initially my vision again is dark, but this time it quickly clears and I still see the ‘scene’ of the inside of a van.

I move to the side door, bend down to look out but realize I don’t have to do that to go out!! So I just ‘move through’ the side of the van door, stopping half way out to look back inside! I don’t really ‘feel’ that sensation of moving through an object as I have when OOB in my house, but the feeling of being ‘out’ is SO crisp and clear!

I move to an area with two trees, saying ‘to the tree!’ to get there fully and I end up in the tree limbs, feeling the leaves and hugging the tree. Now I have to explain here that this out of body ‘feeling’ I am having is SO wonderful and SO ‘crisp’ (can’t really explain why it’s so different) that I am just ecstatic about being given the ability to do this! I remember exclaiming to anyone who wanted to hear, ‘thank you SO MUCH for letting me do this!’

While I’m in the tree, a young girl (short dark hair, dark eyes) is with me, and I get the feeling that she was with me all the while. I feel very comfortable talking with her, and she is very pleased that I am here with her as well.

I remember we talked about ‘our’ work in the critical care unit, and she made some profound statement that I really can’t recall exactly, but at the time, made perfect sense. Something about you can take the nurse out of critical care, but can’t take the critical care out of the nurse??! (Which would make sense, actually, with my work changes)

So now she is inviting me to ‘breakfast’ (?) at her place, and we head for a table that is set up with four places. I can see the plates, some with food, and I remark how it’s a bit ‘late’ for breakfast but she tells me that it’s never to late to take advantage of someone who has shown up for a visit – or something like that.

I knew I was so pleased and happy to be there and that everything ‘felt’ so clear, crisp and perfect.

Unfortunately, I faded back to IP lying on the bed very quickly, and actually felt sorry that I ‘left’ her just as she was so anticipating my ‘visit’!!

COMMENTARY: This was really nothing in terms of travel, but everything in terms of how I was perceiving different energy feelings. Not only was the transition to OOB different for me, but the clarity and depth to the actual OOB was so different! No heaviness, no vision problems, and such profound feelings were felt throughout the entire experience. All new way of perceiving energy levels - at least that's what I'm thinking it is!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

42) Busy OOBE Night..False Awkening, Music, Negativity, Seeing Earth, Little People

1/24/08

Lately I’ve been feeling like I’ve been ‘grounded’ with regard to my OOB experiences. I can’t really place a reason for this feeling, but sometimes you just know that other things are being ‘worked on’ and I have to trust that all is progressing according to plan.

However, last night I had quite a few different experiences, ranging from false awakenings, to ‘hands on’ sensations , to astral ‘fighting’(!) and flying through space, to an unusual meeting with unfamiliar individuals.

My feeling regarding these experiences is that I am being shown different ‘scenarios’ that will test my abilities to respond appropriately. In reviewing my responses while OOB, I now have the definite feeling that I do need a lot more work! lol

The night began with a series of false awakenings, all incorporating ‘real’ aspects of physical life that caused me to really have to concentrate to stay ‘in the altered mental state’ to prevent waking. A few times I heard my husband come down the stairs, talking quite candidly asking why I was on the couch, “couldn’t I sleep?” and such dialogue. I could hear his fire pager going off, and lots of noises such as radio, conversations, and other distracting sounds that really had me wondering if it was all really happening or not!

Each time I just decided I was going to just ‘fake sleep’ and continue on hoping it was a false awakening, which of course it was! I could feel the vibrations in between each false awakening episode (had to have been three or so episodes!), which also told me that I made the right decision to ‘carry on’ with my focus.

At one point when I felt the vibrations and subsequent ‘settling in/sinking’ feeling, I knew I could just roll out and off the couch. I fell with a thud (OOB) to the floor, and was astonished at how heavy I felt! I could barely move, yet I knew I this was normal and I just had to move away from the body. So again, I said, “to the door!” as this time, for a change, I could clearly see the door and windows!

Unfortunately, with the affirmation, I did move slightly toward the door, but stopped and then quickly found myself back in body on the couch in full vibrations.

Now, I knew I was lying on couch, but now I’m hearing this wonderful music and singing! It was beautiful voices singing and I remember thinking that since my recorder was turned on at this time, I fervently hoped it would pick up on the music and record it. I knew this would give me verification that I was really hearing this! But, at the same time, I also knew that if it was truly astral, that there would probably be nothing on the recorder. (In actuality, I did not have the recorder on at this time)

Now, at some point, I become aware of ‘hands’ being placed on me – and not exactly where I’m used to having hands show up! There has been ‘laying of the hands’ on me before, but always in an ‘energy moving’ sort of way. This time, however, I’m rather uncomfortable as both hands sit squarely on my breasts, without moving! Again, knowing it’s just ‘astral’, I just ‘let it go’ and know it’s nothing to worry about, which it dissipates and become aware someone is standing next to me! (Maybe this was just to get my attention…which it did! Lol)

I see a young lady, and I associate her with someone I know that I am not on really friendly terms with. I immediately feel her ‘anger’ or frustration and she starts taking it out on me! I feel this strong ‘punch’ to my stomach (solar plexus) that doesn’t hurt, but I can certainly feel it!

She’s arguing about something, but I am not able to recall what about! I feel my face being squeezed, and I know I even ‘kick’ the end of the couch. It’s so strange to actually ‘feel’ these sensations while knowing I’m not really physical!

I never get up off the couch, but I’m attempting to ‘physically fight’ this negative, argumentative young lady! All the time I can hear her talk to me, but I can’t figure out what her problem is! I do remember saying something like, ‘get out or I’ll call the police’, and she taunts me back saying, ‘yeah, like that is really going to do anything!’ (In hindsight, I think this was a learning experience how NOT to handle negativity! lol)

After recording that experience, I tried to re-induce my altered state, and quickly found myself OOB and traveling at lightning speed backward through the starry blackness that I usually travel in, being very much aware that ‘finally! I’m going someplace!’ It was so fast and so long that I had the time to think,’ hey, maybe I should try to turn around and face forward!’ So I did!

Now I’m zooming forward into the starry blackness, thinking,’ this is so much fun!’ and I stretch out my hands in front of me. Amazingly, I can see them! Soft, wispy white energy forms stretched out in front…so cool! (I rarely get to see any part of myself while OOB)

So, now I’m certain I can go anywhere I want, so I remember thinking ‘to the center of the universe!’ and after a while of zooming, I realize I could stop and turn around to see the earth if I wanted to. The stars slowed down, and stopped, and I found myself in a very quiet blackness. I turned and saw the earth – and was so awed by its beauty! I remember thinking, ‘wow, it’s just like in the pictures, so blue and white, and beautiful!’ I remember traveling around the earth to see it from all sides, it was just so beautiful!

Somehow, I transitioned to another place from this experience and found myself in a large open field, surrounded by trees and beautiful countryside. It was quiet and dark, and I was not sure where I was.

The next thing I know I hear then see these large dogs come running toward me! (big sized dogs, like a greyhound build). I get the feeling that it was a ‘hunt’ or perhaps just the fact that I was being ‘discovered’! I was a bit unnerved at first with their appearance, but knew also I was ‘out’ so I was ok and didn’t have to hide. For some reason, I figured they wouldn’t be able to ‘see’ me, so I was safe!

However, behind the dogs were these ‘little people’, that I associated with children (probably because of their size – I didn’t pick up on any ‘immaturity’ with them, so I don’t think they were actually children). They were very small in size, even smaller than some of the dogs (!), and they carried these very tall ‘spears’ or rods with them (hence the reason I felt it was a ‘hunt’ of some sort).

I also had the impressions of ‘slaves’ and ‘being chased’, but I can’t correlate as to how those impressions fit in with this experience. The small people came right up to me (and another person who was with me) and started talking. I remember I was sitting on a small stone wall of sorts, and trying to ‘make excuses’ for my behavior! I felt I was supposed to have ‘done something’ that I didn’t do, and was making attempts at an apology.

I also remember that whoever I was with (a male) was also giving an ‘excuse’ for our ‘intrusion?’ by making a statement like, ‘well I was knocked out on 10mg of Valium!’ (I personally don’t take use such medication, and he was the one who admitted to using it! lol) Unfortunately again, I cannot recall what we talked about specifically.

The experience ended there, as I woke up and quickly recorded whatever impressions I could remember. This was such a hodgepodge of experiences for one night, that I can’t even begin to discern what it all means, except for the strong feeling that I still have a lot to learn about ‘living’ in the astral!

Thursday, January 10, 2008

41) Learning - Near Physical OBE - My Technique

I thought I'd share another experience I had a few nights ago, as well as how it appeared to involve a need to share my technique. So, with many apologies once again for its length, I'm posting it in hopes someone can be helped.

01/09/08 4:10am

The first 'small dream' was nothing more than a scene - where I was with this man sitting at a table, in a place of learning.

No awareness of any other surroundings other than we were both working diligently on our own projects and drawing or doodling various schematics that represented what we were trying to learn. It was a "technographic" type writing – doodling with written symbols that we used to express our `work'.

My drawings had something to do with 'people', 'health', and personal interactions (along a nursing theme) and he was the 'techy-type' with some fancy deep scientific thoughts/drawings on the use of wind and its power, or something like that.

As we sit there, a male teacher comes over and joins us at the table. I know I AM impressed and honored to have him sit with us (I don't get how the other male feels about it) but get the feeling that this `honor' may have been because we are two of the `brightest' students in the class. The teacher proceeds to show us 'new drawings and ideas' of doing whatever we are both working on. The two words I hear are 'aeronautical engineering' as a description of what we are both working on now...

I awoke slightly, recorded this dream despite feeling it wasn't that important, and went back to sleep…or so I thought!

I remember hearing `sounds' at one point, like movement in the house that brought me to a `lighter' state of awareness. (This may have been the beginning of a `false awakening' but now I know to just use those sounds as a means of getting my attention focused.)

I believe this was an important point I need to impress, as many people may not be `light' enough in their awareness levels to bring that small piece of consciousness you need to have in your `dreams' to help you remember the events.

I became aware of the `rolling' feeling, a sort of like a warm, wavy sensation that indicates I'm getting ready to separate. However, this time I was not able to just roll out! For some reason, I had this trapeze bar appear in my hands, and I pulled it backward as if to get a good running start, then jumped or ran forward very quickly using the trapeze bar as a means of propelling me forward and upward – I could feel that `stomach sway' feeling as I swung forward and knew that `sensation' was a key aspect of getting OOB.

However, I found myself `sitting up' and only partially out and not sure what to do next. So, since the trapeze bar appeared in my hands again, I used it to pull backward, run quickly forward, and once again, found myself mostly out of my body, but still not separated. It was at this point I realized that I had to ROLL over and off the couch to fully separate, which I did!

Now, I am fully aware I am in the `near-physical' again (someplace I rarely get to stay!), and I feel such a `heavy' strong pull back toward my body on the couch. I'm fighting this `pull' with all my effort, saying to myself, I'm NOT going back!

It's dark (as usual) but I remember straining my eyes to open and barely seeing the outdoors through a window. So I use my affirmations, `to the outdoors, to the outdoors!!', whereupon I felt the usual, but only a VERY short, `black tunnel type falling' feeling, and found myself facing the door/wall at the end of my house.

(This is interesting for a few reasons – I have not felt such a strong pull as this as I remember fighting with all my effort NOT to go back. The affirmation I usually use is `to the door!', but this time I used `outdoors' which is interesting, yet unusual for me. Also, it was the same `black tunnel falling' feeling, but only for a very short time this time.)

Now, I'm by the door and it appears to be not quite the same building as my current home, but yet is familiar as if it IS my home. As I stand there, it feels SO REAL, yet I am ALSO aware of my OB state. So I place my hand on the door, knowing it will go through it, which it does. I take note of the change in texture again, and enjoy the fact that this is something so unique to do! I then proceed to push my head and rest of body out, only to look up and feel rain `tingling' on my face! I know it's raining here in my OB state as it is impressed upon me to remember that.

The rest of the experience is really not very interesting, in that I remember `walking' along the side of the house outside, to the roof, then taking off above the trees and just looking down at the area. I don't recall it as being THIS particular area IP, but it was a familiar place.

I do recall seeing other `people' flying around (a man, a woman, a child) doing what I was doing, but I didn't interact with them as I `knew' they were really `asleep' and unaware. This experience felt so `different' than many of my other OOBE's in that there was such a REAL feeling associated with it. I can only assume it is because I was staying closer in the `near-physical' realm.

Originally upon waking in the AM, I was listening to the wind outside and felt a little disappointed to see it wasn't raining, as I know I felt it OOB. However, upon getting up, I saw that it HAD rained overnight and the puddles outside were all I needed for validation.

More importantly, though, I feel that this experience was designed more for my own evaluation of my OOB technique, especially for staying in the near-physical. Perhaps this is because of my desire to `connect' with my friend, and I need to be able to help him learn something new from my experiences. I feel it is necessary now to share my technique here as well.

Certain aspects of getting OOB were impressed upon me, and I'd like to review what I feel are key points to a successful OOBE for me. For some reason, the thought that some people go `too deep' was impressed, as I mentioned, as it is necessary to bring that small piece of `waking consciousness' into the experience. It is ok to go deep to get fully relaxed initially, but you do need to bring up the level of awareness in your mind to the point of conscious recall.

When you feel a `heavy blanket' effect on your body after full relaxation, that is the time to start with your focus and affirmations. Perhaps it would be beneficial to get the `lucid dream timer' from Saltcube (http://www.saltcube.com/timer.html) and set it for 10-20 minutes or so, whatever you feel you need to get your body relaxed completely.

At that point, the soft `ding' will bring up your awareness to the level of conscious recall. It shouldn't wake you completely, but just give you that lighter awareness and recall of what you are `intending' to do. You need to be in that `oh I hear it, but I'm too relaxed to do anything about it' state of mind. (I am assuming this is what my `false awakening' experiences are for)

At that point, you start with the affirmations `Now I am out of body!' or `vibrations now!', and always repeated (in your mind) with emotional emphasis to impress it upon your subconscious.

Now the key will be to keep that `piece of awareness' as you relax back into your deeper state, all the while repeating the affirmations over and over. If you have a particular `intent', such as finding someone or working on a specific area, you add that affirmation as well.

At some point, you may notice that you are getting a warm, fuzzy, or `wavy' feeling or just a sense of movement like you are on a moving surface. That will be a signal that you should try to roll over, or pull up, or whatever you need to do to separate.

The use of some sort of `swaying' sensation, such as the trapeze, freefalling, flying, or whatever is all you need now to start the separation process. If you should feel a 'floating' sensation, whether whole body or even a single extremity, then roll! 'Rolling out' almost always works the best for me.

This `falling' or `moving' sensation will almost always send you to the separation stage. I remember one time I found myself in a plane, and just decided to `skydive' and that freefalling feeling turned into the `black tunnel' and finding myself OOB flying!

Once you feel yourself separate fully, you may find yourself feeling very heavy, and dark….but just know that you have to focus intently and repeat to yourself, `to the door' or `to the window' to move away from the physical body. There is such a strong `magnetic' type attraction that if you don't fight against it, you will find yourself back in the body very quickly.

As with many OOBE's, there is a sense of `knowing' you are out, yet the thinking processes you are used to are different. You become unsure of what to do next, so by setting an `intent' prior to the induction will assist in giving you more `conscious control' when OOB.

If all else fails, and you feel you are just wandering around without aim, you can affirm `Inward Now!' or `To my higher self' which may start a spinning or tunnel sensation as you move into your inner worlds.

Here it is common to find events that deal with your developing sense of `self' and issues or beliefs that you may need to work on for continued progress. Working on the higher self is always a rewarding experience, as this is what we are all here in physical body to learn more about!

One other mention I might add is the fact that I almost always experience these 'outings' from a particular location in my house. You may have noticed up that I mention 'rolling' out off the couch many times in my experiences. In the beginning, when I was just beginning to learn, I would spontaneously find myself OOB next to my bed in the middle of the night. But it's been a long time since I've had anything but short little 'dreams' from the bedroom area.

That is probably because as I progressed, I found it necessary to make myself show 'true intent' and get up out of bed (at 2-4am!) and NOT go back to that 'warm and cozy sleep' I would find there. I show the 'intention' of working/traveling by going downstairs to the fairly comfortable couch, to work on my experiences.

I feel at this point, and it may be true for others as well, that the thoughts associated with your 'bed' is for getting that 'deep sleep' that your body needs for rest, and can be associated in your mind as someplace where you can only do that.

Of course, all of this is just my experience, but in the event someone feels it `rings true' for them as well, perhaps these suggestions will help!

Sunday, January 6, 2008

40) Mass Retrieval

1.06.08 7:11 am awake

The most important part of the experience is that I feel I lost a lot of detail with this recall!

I was driving on a highway and turned off the main road for a reason, but I can’t remember why! I felt there was something I had to do, or perhaps there was a detour in the road. I wasn’t at all concerned because I knew I had my GPS to use to find my way back to the main road.

I’m traveling these back roads, into a wooded area and am surprised to see the GPS did not have this road recorded, so it showed me as ‘off road’ but that I was still going the right direction. I remember I had to stop the car at one point because a ‘cord’ or ‘plug’ fell out of the back of the car and was getting caught in the trees. It wasn’t a big deal; I just unwrapped it from around the trees, and got back on track. It only served to delay me a bit.

Now I’m climbing up to a steep ‘roof-type’ area, carrying a lot of ‘stuff’ and I’m getting rather tired because it’s a lot of work climbing. There is a male along side me that I had to ask for help by giving me a ‘push up’. He helped by pushing up against my butt to get me up to the top area where I found people were milling around.

As he helped me with the push, he said something to the effect that he ‘just wanted to touch my butt anyway!’ I had an ‘uncomfortable’ feeling about him, but not one of any danger or much closeness. I just laughed it off and went on. I later recalled that I may have met this male while I was in the ‘off road’ area earlier.

Up top, I see lots of people, and somehow I knew they were all ‘stuck there’ and didn’t know how to get off. I knew that they were stuck there because of their ‘beliefs’ and I was going to have to show them how to ‘get out’.

So, I say to them all, “Guys, look! You are the same as me! If I can get out, you all can get out! You can see me, because I am one of you! Yet if you look into that mirror (pointing to this entire wall-sized mirror in one area) you will not be able to see your reflection! You can see the ‘other’ people and what’s going on, but you are not “there” with them, therefore you can get out of here!” (I felt perhaps they were looking into an ‘earthly life’ happening now.)

I can’t remember all the specifics here, but I told them if they wanted to leave to follow me. I lead them to a wall area that somehow changed into a doorway as we neared it. Going through the door, I found myself in a hallway, looking back to see some of the others slowly straggling through that same door, curiously following me.

I walked down the hallway toward the end where I could see ‘light’ and initially saw it as a curved glass wall, which distorted the view into the ‘light’ outdoors. I kept going, despite the fact that I didn’t see any way of exiting.

I was planning on just ‘walking’ through the glass wall, as I must have been aware of my OOB state. As I got closer to it, though, a door appeared off to the left side of it, and everyone was comfortable walking through that door.

Now, I am not sure what happened next, but Susan was there telling Ann to change her shirt, that she was not ‘appropriately’ dressed for the ceremony. (These are two real life friends I have associations with at work) We are all waiting for a ‘presentation’ or ceremony I was anxious to see.

I knew somehow I had missed the first showing/ceremony of honoring a terrible event that happened years ago. It was a type of ceremony that people would dress up for and come to in honor of this event. This was to be the second showing, because I knew I had missed the first one due to what was going on with my ‘work’.

Somehow I also knew this event was happening too late for me to stay, and I felt disappointed to know I was going to miss this second ceremony as well.

Again, there was MUCH more ‘events’ that occurred, but alas! I have not recall.

I DO remember one piece of a dream that it was important for me to get a message to “Linda Hodgson/Hudson/Hedgeson” or something like that! But what the message was, I have no idea!

39) OOB Meeting in Bedroom

Last night I had TWO great experiences, of which I will post separately.

This first one, though, was so unbelievable for me, but when I received some actual 'validation' as to its truth, I'm beginning to think it was so! As you have read in this blog, I have been trying to 'connect' with a friend to establish the fact that traveling OOB can be a mutually rewarding experience.

Of course, there can be no 'proof positive' of any astral experience - as the level of perception for any and all participants will play a very strong role in what is experienced and recalled.

Having said that...here goes!

3:20 am 1.06.08

I was waiting on a bench in the lobby of a hotel, where I noticed a guy in a grey suit standing in the elevator nearby without his suit jacket. I saw the jacket next to me on the bench, and told him I’d just use his jacket as a blanket while I waited here (I knew it was his because I saw it matched the suit pants he was wearing). He was smiling as he stood in the elevator waiting for the doors to close to go up.

There was no one around in this lobby of the hotel…I was there because I thought I was locked out of my hotel room because I couldn’t find my keys (which later at some point in this dream, I realized I had in my pocket all along!)

Next I remember I’m hiding around a corner, hearing two men talk about plans in another language, but I knew it was something about a ‘secret society’ – it had a Revolutionary War type feeling with a man who reminded me of a Ben Franklin-type was talking.

This man walked over close to where I was hiding, still talking to his friend (another male). I became concerned he’d find me, and just then he reaches his hand in and around the corner where I was hiding! It’s a dark small alcove, and he puts his hand on my face, without bothering to even look at me, and says ‘such a pretty face, such a pretty face!’…I knew I had been ‘discovered’…

I am not sure how I transtioned, but I then realized I was standing up, knowing I was out of body in a room, and I could see a door to the outdoors. (Yes, for a change, I could see upon exiting!) I did my ‘to the door!’ and then took off flying, remembering to say I have to find my friend!

I found myself immediately in a familiar dark, tunnel like area, zooming fast, but going backward! At one point, I remember feeling that drop down, stomach flipping, ‘roller coaster’ type sensation (that I love!) and ‘feeling’ the meaning of that sensation as being told, "we know you like that, so we are giving you what you want."

Now I find myself standing in a strange bedroom, and it’s dark. There is a man and woman sleeping in the bed. He’s on the right, she’s on the left as you look from the foot of the bed. I’m trying to get him to waken, saying ‘wake up, come on out!’ and shaking him. With my initial ‘touch’, I did cause a startled response from him, but he just became restless and rolled over, not being able to wake up to go with me.

I move to the window along side the bed where I was and look out. It is dark, but I can see some sort water near the house as there is the moonlight is reflecting off it. But it’s different somehow. It’s a flat body of water that is ‘up high’, sort of up a hill or mountain near the house.

(I do not get the feel of a ‘natural’ body of water, or one that is not always there – possibly a collection system of sorts?). I am thinking, ‘gee, why would anyone want to build their house below the level of that water! If it should flood, the house would be inundated with water!”

I then felt like I was ‘intruding’ on some privacy at that time, so I left the room by the door on the other side of the room, where I found myself just outside the house. (It was along the ‘longer’ side of the house -whether it was the back or front I am not sure.)

Here I hesitated, not know what to do, but then heard voices from the ‘shorter’ end of the house and saw a path that lead off to the right to that area. I ran into these men, who gave me a ‘soldier’ like feeling, and they were concerned that they heard a rumor that someone with a ‘tank’ was coming after them. (Now I also remember that I had somehow seen this guy earlier they were concerned about, and yes, I ‘knew’ he WAS going to be coming with a tank!)

Suddenly, there was a loud explosion, and large parts of some kind of machinery were crashing down on top of all of us! I was not in the least concerned, however, because I ‘knew’ I was safe, being OOB.

It became dark, and now I am talking to this male that wanted to get his ‘defib?’ medal, (felt like he meant it was a medal of valor of some sort). He is a young kid who wanted this medal he ‘earned’ and asked me to find out if it was coming to him.

I now remember I ran into him prior to getting to the first group of soldiers, and he asked me then about the medal, but I had become too involved in the next tank explosion scene to answer him initially. (Or was it that he ‘showed’ me this scene?)

So, at this point, I see someone bringing him a medal, it was a two part medal with a pin on the top and a hanging metal symbol (heart?cross?) and he was getting it pinned on his chest. He was happy to get it, but I also felt a bit sad that he didn’t get his ‘official’ ceremony with it being awarded to him.

Somehow, there also was this young girl there I was talking to, and I was startled to see a young man come up to her quickly, and she gave him a big kiss – I said, ‘whoa, what was THAT all about?’ to her, and she indicated that she was congratulating him because they two of them just became grandparents. (It was felt to me that he was an ex-boyfriend that she had had many years ago) This was odd, because both of them couldn’t have been more than 20-30 years old….

There was all these little ‘snippets’ of stories going on and people I’m running into….yet I know there was SO much more that I can't recall!

COMMENTARY:

These are the validation points I received from my friend I was trying to connect with.

He was able to verify the fact that he does sleep on the right side of the bed (as you look from the bottom). He agrees there is a door on the opposite side of the room, leading to the outdoors.

However, there is no window on the wall by the bed, but a closet with mirrored doors that reflect the outdoors from the window in the door across the room. There is a pond near the house, as seen from that door window. I do not think, however, that what I saw was a 'natural' water source, such as a pond, but hey, I could be mistaken!

However, it could also be the water is very symbolic of the subconscious mind (as I saw it on HIS side of the room), and an interpretation could be that perhaps it is a manifestation of his fears of exploring the metaphysical as he has found himself in 'over his head' once before...or, even perhaps he is not 'in' the water - but the water threatens to inundate... at the same time, perhaps he's too deeply 'under' and needs to 'lighten up' to mediate the threat. I do know I had a very difficult time trying to rouse him from sleep!!

Some last notes, the door to the outdoors is on the 'longer' side of the house and does have a pathway that leads off to the right side of the house, just as I recall.

So, it still leaves much to be desired in terms of 'true' and complete validation, however, the important part is I DO feel I was there! I really don't think with the changing variability found in the astral realm that we will get much more than this, so I think I have to 'tone down' my expectations of finding perfect matches with everything! lol

Oh....and other than being in a 'deep sleep' all night, he had no recollection of any 'visit' type dreams or feelings.He did say something about a dream he had where he bought a brand new top-of-the-line fishing pole (valuable one, still in its original package) at a garage sale he went to though!

I guess I'll have to work on changing my 'wake up' techniques to get his attention away from his 'other-realm' excursions at night!! lol

The ending experiences were probably some sort of 'retrieval' that I entered into after leaving the house. The young male was not leaving until he got his medal (which he did), but I don't know about the young 'grandparent' couple!

The next post will be part two of this night, and that I am sure was a 'mass retrieval'!

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Addendum to Atral Meeting!

I am lucky to have such a good friend who helps me to 'see' different aspects of what my experiences are showing me. I thought I'd share a lot of his insight:

A dream, to me, is very much a drama, in that one scene leads to another, building on and relating to each other, leading to the resolution or revelation of the complete story. In this way, carefully examining each dream element and seeing not only it's individual meaning but how it fits with and reinforces or modifies the other elements is necessary to decoding the true meaning (and there can be more than one!) of a dream.

Where the scene takes place is described as "I’m in my house... the room I came back to was different." So, you are in the familiarity of your own home, yet somehow it is also unfamiliar - there is something different or new about the room you find yourself in.

Nice interpretation - I'm home but yet I am 'not home' in this room... makes sense....OR it could be I had to move into another 'room' in order to find my friend who was apparently having some difficulty getting there!!

Placing the scene exactly is important because where you are about to step out indicates a change of scene - you are about to step out of 'your' space at the door step. A door, of course, is a portal into another space. You have every intention of venturing out, but there is that hesitation of venturing out without protected feet.

After you feel that hesitation, the scene essentially ends, as your guide steps in and delivers the final message. Though you had the intention to go out with your friend, ultimately you don't.

You do step out of the door, and your guide is there with his message. Water is usually symbolic of the subconscious. Water 'softening' could indicate some sort of moderation or yielding of subconscious elements.

You make it to the stoop - a transitional area between inside and outside. Your feeling of 'pausing and reflection' could indicate your own preparations for going 'where you have never been before'.

Many 'creatures' can inhabit our subconscious - but in this case we are given a specific context and creature of the subconscious - a horse in the water softener.

What does a water softener do? Obviously, it removes the hardness (dissolved minerals that can cause stains and clogs) from the water.

A horse, as per dream definitions, is an animal of power, spirit, and movement. Something that effects a process to that extent would certainly have a profound effect if you were to change it's 'color'. Your guide bears the specific message that the 'horse' has not been changed - "it’s the same horse in there". It is something that should be changed, that you were supposed to change, but you 'forgot' (it left or remained out of consciousness).

Perhaps your hesitation at the door was the result of having the wrong horse - or an indication of where the right horse would go? The trouble with trying to address errors of consciousness is the necessity of using the same consciousness to try to understand what one is questioning! Perhaps, it is an indication that there is more 'ground work' to do before flying off. ;)

Just to clarify here - the 'guy' I met is someone I have come to know on a 'friend' basis, with little 'close' background information and just basic facts about his life and experiences. (Although I do feel a close connection to his 'thought energy' if that is possible!)

I suppose I should tell you that I have not physically even 'met' this person! So that will make this 'meeting' all that much more difficult to validate....but yet, I do feel this was who I met that night! Unfortunately, my friend I believe I connected with has no recall of this meeting, but did have some otherwise very 'revealing' dreams that same night.

But perhaps, that is because he also is not fully 'prepared' for this experience, just as I was not able to be fully 'prepared'...(as indicated by the need for a 'horse of a different color' in my 'water' tank!)

More symbolism: "White: White represents purity, perfection, peace, innocence, dignity, cleanliness, awareness, and new beginnings. You may be experiencing a reawakening or have a fresh outlook on life.

To see a horse in your dream, represents a strong, physical energy. You need to tame the wild forces.....If the horse is white, then it signifies purity, innocence, prosperity and good fortunes...."

So to summarize: It may symbolize my 'innocence' (white) at not knowing that my 'strong energy'(horse) in my subconscious (water) still wasn't under control (tamed) enough to do what I so eagerly wanted to do at that time! That I can agree with as I do tend to 'fly off' without much thought when OOB!

Thanks, Kiauma!

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

38) Astral Meeting!

1/01/08 6:51am awakened

I heard my on call beeper go off at 1:10am on 01/01 – remember looking at the time, hazily thinking this is something symbolic, as the time changes from 1:10 to 1:11am on 01/01….but then woke up enough to realize, “hey, I’m really on call and I have to report in to work!”

Thankfully, or maybe it was really set up to happen this way by the Universe, I did not have to go into work, having been told it was a ‘false alarm’. (It is interesting to note that when the pager went off, I was soundly asleep, yet I also ‘knew’ this was going to be just a ‘false alarm’. Imagine my surprise when the operator told me it really WAS a false alarm! I feel somehow it may be that I needed to have my experiences later in the morning this particular day)

I had some difficulty falling back to sleep, and I remember my feelings of frustration at not being able to ‘get out’ by my usual time (3-4am). I saw that it was now 6am and I’m awake without any experiences, but still felt I should keep trying.

This time now, I became aware of sounds indicating people were getting up in the house (or so I thought!). As usual, in the hopes it’s not a ‘true’ awakening, I just lie there waiting to see what happens. I hear my husband come down the stairs, and then nothing…so I wait more, and then I hear my son come in and start playing music and making noise. Again I’m a little annoyed he’d do that with me sleeping here, but I wait, and now my daughter comes right up to the couch where I am, and is trying to rouse me by throwing water on my face!!! Again, I just lie there, hoping this is all not happening!

Now I could feel soft vibrations, a ‘buzzing’ feeling, not really vibrations, yet I felt quite awake. Despite this feeling of wakefulness, I attempted to increase their intensity, willing them to become stronger by affirming ‘vibrations now!’

I remember saying this a few times, as the buzzing sensation would crescendo with the affirmations, but then retreat. I feel as though there is an urgency ‘get going’ with my intent to travel, as it is getting late in the morning, by my usual time frame.

Well, I guess I was right – because the next sensation I remember is my right arm floating up in the air! That is always a signal to me that I’m ‘out’ so I just rolled right off the couch and stood in the room.

As usual, it is dark, and I can’t see a thing. Prying my eyes open, I can barely make out my side door, and say ‘to the door!’ to move away from my body for more control.

It was interesting this time to remember that struggle I had to pry open my eyelids to see, barely peeking out, but enough to see the side door. I feel the ‘sluggishness’ until I reach the door, and then ‘whoosh!’ - I’m out and about! I’m flying freely, zooming all around, and enjoying the rushing of the wind on my face, thinking, ‘boy, it’s been a long time since I just took the time to have this fun!’

Now I suddenly find myself back on the couch, but I still feel the soft vibrations going on. Again I felt my arm float back up, and was surprised, saying, “oh, I’m getting back out again!” and rolled off the couch for a second time.

I’m in my house, was going to take off again, but as I started to go up, I remembered I wanted to look for my friend to see if I could find him. So I floated back down, but the room I came back to was different. It was still very dark, and I don’t think I had full vision enough to describe my surroundings here.

I started walking around and calling out for him by name…then suddenly I saw the outline of a man coming toward me. It was not anything ‘solid’, and with no features that I can recall, but quite obvious a tall, average built male, who moved right ‘into’ my space!

I could feel the emotional intensity as we ‘hugged?’ and he was almost crying with happiness, saying “I can’t believe I found you!” over and over!

As we walked together toward the side door, I remember my arm was around his waist, which was my indication that he was quite tall. He’s trying to tell me so many things all at once I was having a hard time understand all that was coming at me!

I remember him describing what he had to go through to get there, how he had his ‘people’ help him check everything over thoroughly to see where he was having his problems before arriving. He knew that there was some little ‘glitch’ that wasn’t right, and preventing him from ‘connecting’.

He had a lot of things that had to be done before he could get there, things that had to be checked and double checked. He listed all he did, making sure his name on the ‘ticket’ was right, his travel plans were right, ‘this’ was right, ‘that’ was right….almost like a pre-travel checklist that he had to be sure was complete and correct before he could ‘take off’ to get here.

As we walked, I felt his ‘speech’ was hampered by some sort of speech impediment (lisp?), or maybe it was just my inability to understand what he was saying due to his exuberant rush of ‘words’ and thoughts!

I remember telling him to ‘slow down’ because I wasn’t able to understand all that he was trying to tell me!

At the side door, we stopped at edge of doorstep. As he stepped to go out, I hesitated because I was concerned I was barefoot. So I said, “oh, lets just take off somewhere then!”

Just as we got outside the door to take off, a young man (tall, thin, smiling, curly hair – very familiar and friendly feeling) came up to us to tell us something. It registered as something to do with the water softener? in my house. He’s saying, “I checked the water softener and it’s the same horse in there, but it really should be changed to a horse of a different color” I say, “A horse? Well, that’s really cool!” and I can picture a white horse next to me…as I faded back into full consciousness, back on the couch.


COMMENTARY:
I am so thrilled that I didn't give into those 'false awakenings'! If I can tell anyone anything of importance, it is to NOT be so quick to wake up when you 'think' you are already awake! Ignore any odd situations going on, and see what happens! I remember how difficult it was to 'stay in the feeling' when there was water being thrown on my face! lol

Also, I believe this male we met at the end was possibly MY guide, whom I have met before, but have no name. He was familiar and friendly, just as I remember him. His goal, I think, at this point was to stop us from proceeding out together, but for what reason, I am not sure.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

37) Use of Signal Word

I was focusing intently on my visualizations and affirmations, and then became aware of soft vibrations. I then put some emotional energy into the “vibrations now!’ affirmations and they became stronger and stronger until the point where I just very easily sat up and got out! I believe it was possibly the easiest exit I have ever had! No tugging, pulling or heaviness that I usually feel upon exiting!

I said, “to the door!” as usual, to move away and immediately felt the ‘solid’ surface of my front door with my hand! Again I was in darkness, with my usual astral blindness, but knew I was out so I just passed through the door to the stoop.

At that point, my dog Buddy decided to come out as well, (just as he always does now whenever I try to leave the house, in hopes of going for a walk!) I could feel him pressed against my leg, with my arms hugging him around his neck, as I said to him, ‘well, Buddy, then let’s go together!’ and we flew straight up. I remember looking down at the house and countryside, and then realizing that Buddy was becoming fearful the higher I went!

I tell him ‘it’s ok’, and I immediately start floating back down toward the ground, with the intent of letting him go once we were ‘safely’ down. I remember thinking, ‘why is it taking such a long time to get back down?!’ as I see the countryside very slowly coming closer into view.

I knew I couldn’t get all the way down to drop him off – but then he was gone from my arms, and I knew I was out on the ground. I started looking for K, but it was empty countryside here with no one around.

This was the first time I can remember actually ‘calling out’ the name and could ‘hear’ myself shouting! For some reason, I also called out a ‘signal word’ (that I can’t say in case I get confirmation from my friend in the future!) as I felt he may be able to at least recall something that relates to this ‘signal word’.

I came back into the house, like I was checking to see if I was still OOB. I could feel I was back in body, because I had the vibrations, so attempted to climb out once again. This time, it was much harder, with the pulling and tugging sensations returning after exiting.

I knew my daughter’s room was at the end of the hall, so I focused on going there. As I entered the hallway, I was distracted by a room off to my left that appeared. In this room I found my daughter, not as she is today at age 17, but as a grown adult! I felt it was perhaps a patient’s room, and she was the nurse taking care of them!

She accompanied me out of the room, back to the living room area where I started, and I remember talking to her about ‘so, you’ve become a nurse too!’ and feeling the answer as ‘yes, she had to do it this way because of financial need’. So, (as a true parent getting ready to send their child off to college now), I remember thinking, ‘wow, and I sent her off for 4 years of college in another field of study!...and she could have done it sooner had she known what she really wanted to do!’ lol

I was then back outside, but somehow stuck between glass doors that didn’t open! There were two ladies there with me but I don’t know why. For some reason, I was no longer able to go through them, so I’m thinking, “Maybe I’m not fully out?” I know I had a friendly conversation with these women, but about what, I cannot recall!

I tried to pass through the glass doors first with my hand, and then myself, but in order to exit, I actually had to push open the glass doors! Things then felt like they became more ‘solid’ and I believe I entered more into a dream-like experience now.

This was one part of my experience I do recall that there was more going on but I cannot remember any of it!

Now I’m with these two men, one was talking about a contract they signed, and the other person wasn’t going to honor it. I thought we were going to have to do something to get this guy to honor it. The person I want to help (who signed the contract) somehow had their eyes painted shut (?white paint?)

I could see them stuck together and I had to physically pull them apart to get them open, thinking ‘This is terrible! They are just going to have to honor their contract if they have done damage here!’

After opening both eyes, and even seeing a few eyelashes pulled out and stuck in the paint remaining around the eyes, I felt there was no permanent damage, but that it would be a mess to clean up.

So I go to other guy (tall lanky guy) who has a contract in hand (that he wasn’t going to honor) is telling me there wasn’t a ‘check’ so he isn’t going to honor it despite the damage to the other male’s eyes.

I was walking around the kitchen area of my house, trying to block his exit, while trying to read the contract that he held in his hand. I asked my brother-in-law to help me (I didn’t actually see him there, but knew I needed a big guy to help me get that contract out of his hands!)

At the end of the scene, the tall lanky contract-toting male convinced me there was NO check, so I said “Oh, no money?, then go and get out of here, we don’t need to see the contract!”

So, in general, I believe this started as a full-blown easy OOBE, went into a different type of OOB (possibly future oriented), and then slowly transitioned into a lucid dream of sorts!

COMMENTARY:

An interesting point made to me was the fact that my dog again helped me to go to where I needed to go! In a previous experience here on the blog, my dog actally kept me from leaving the house in order to meet up with some individuals.

Here again, my dog was the reason I decided to 'come back down' and that is where I remembered I had set out this task of finding my friend! Interesting point - one I will have to pay attention to should I see my dog wishing to accompany me again!

Also, this 'signal word' I thought of was such an insight that I hadn't even thought about prior! It was just something that came to me as I called out his name - and getting no response, figuring he may be able to 'hear' me at least! Here's hoping for some validation soon!

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Birth Announcement

For those who may be interested, I am officially now a 'Grandma'!!

Her name: Samara Noelle
Born: 11:29am on 12/28/07

Wt: 9 lb 8 oz
Ht: 21.75 inches

Welcome to our world, little one!!

Thursday, December 27, 2007

36) Negative Energy & More Firsts!

I was having a hard time getting into the stage of total relaxation, as my visualization and affirmations were drifting off and I was not focusing as well as I usually can. I remember getting to the soft vibrations stage a time or two, but would always become more aware and wake up.

I finally became a bit exasperated and said to ‘anyone’ out there, that I need help! (Of course, I always make a point to ask for help/guidance from those who are “at or above my level of development” and use the white light visualization for protection as you don’t want just ‘anyone’ helping! lol)

Well, something must have worked, because I then found myself out of body, feeling that strong pulling sensation telling me I needed to move away from myself!

The first part of this experience is poorly recalled, as again, when you transition from this experience, you immediately can feel the ‘memories’ fading quickly.

Just to share what I do, at the very end when I can feel the ‘pulling back’ and the fading of memories, I quickly make one word associations with as much as I can recall to imprint my waking consciousness. You can actually feel a difference in awareness levels, a transition that is moving to a more ‘grounded’ state of mind. (Words just can’t describe these feelings accurately!)

For this experience, I was imprinting in my mind the words, couch, dark energy, move, offices, blackness up, etc. They really don’t make a lot of sense to anyone else, but to me, each word created a spark of memory recall for each scene.

Then, upon coming to more awareness, yet still too groggy to move any part of my body to grab the recorder, I tried to ‘fade back’ further into the experience to recall some of the beginning parts.

I was then able to retrieve bits and pieces of the beginning of the OOBE, but unfortunately, not specific details. Thankfully, for this experience, the best part was near the end and so amazingly profound that I have a clear memory of the event.

So, onward with the great experience!

From my word associations, there was something in the very beginning about ‘bubbles’, but I have no recall what that was all about! I do remember it was the tiny white foamy type bubbles, but how they fit into this experience, I do not know!

Initially upon getting out, I remembered again that I was hoping to connect with a friend, so I took off looking in all these different rooms that appeared. The first few rooms were very similar to my current house, but arranged in a way that it appeared 15 years ago before renovations. I don’t have a lot of recall as to what I did, but I do remember I somehow ‘knew’ what was to be found in the next room, as I could see into it before I ‘phased’ into it.

This entire experience was with such clarity, as there was NO blindness associated this time! I do remember thinking, “wow, I can see so well!”, and the one time my vision dimmed, I used ‘clarity now!’ to regain full abilities.

I believe I was so caught up in my investigation of the rooms that I totally forgot about finding my friend!

There were lots of rooms I went to and at one point, I thought ‘let’s see what its like to look down at myself’ and I remember seeing my furniture, knowing I should be able to see myself. I saw the couch, but not myself on it, but again, I knew it was something that I didn’t want to really dwell on anyway so I moved on.

The next recall I have is traveling very, very fast, straight up into blackness with starry points of light passing by for a long, long time. I was zooming straight up, like a rocket, not sure where or how it started and unaware of where I was going.

Now at some point I realized I was with this family riding in the back left seat of a car. The car was an older model (1950’s?), with three or four family members in the car with me. Sitting next to two teenage girls with an adult in front passenger seat, there was a young girl driving.

I started talking to the girls next to me (I somehow ‘knew’ I was their grandmother!) and yet I also knew I was me!

So I am asking them, “Where are we? Who am I?” and other such questions…and the girls are finding it extremely funny that ‘grandma’ suddenly went ‘senile’ and is asking these strange questions!!

I never did get an answer to my questions, I just remember riding in the back seat, feeling ‘myself’ within this other body, and wondering what am I doing here? It was an unfamiliar area, in a poor neighborhood, on some back roads, and the words ‘St Louis’(?) came to mind. All I remember clearly is the fact that the girls were having a lot of fun with my confusion!

It was at this point that I became aware again that I was reclining on a couch, as I really was, but it was not this particular couch. Again, I think it was to make me aware that I was indeed ‘someplace else’ but yet still in body….

There suddenly (and frightfully!) appeared this moving dark energy that was pushing me down the couch, moving quickly in front of me! It was like waves of moving energy, full of anger and/or anxiety and made me a bit frightened and concerned! I knew this was not something I had ever encountered before and was not sure what to do!

Upon realizing my fear, something or someone gave me the ‘knowing’ that all I needed to do was to put up my ‘defense’ to deflect the energy which would allow me to interact with it.

Even at this time, I can still recall the sensation of negative energy waves that were radiating at me, something I have not ever ‘felt’ before! (Best description I can give you is that it felt like someone was pushing radiant heat waves at you!)

Then I see it was this older woman, telling me ‘move down the couch!, move from here now!’, waving and pushing, trying to get me to move….I could feel this strong, strong energy coming at me in waves. Such strong energy! It was a bit overwhelming at first. I knew I had to get over this hint of fear, immediately realizing that nothing can hurt me so all I needed to do was ‘deflect’ it and keep going!

I kept getting this strong dark insistence that ‘I have to move!!...can’t stay here!

Once I regained control of my feelings with the knowledge I was safe from anything that was going on, I calmed enough to ask, “What’s going on?” I knew it was important at that point to I determine what the ‘situation’ was so I could deal with it appropriately. (In hindsight, I think I realized at this point that this was someone who needed my help!)

I recall telling this ‘energy’ that I would be very happy to move for her, but before I did, she would have to do something for me. I said it would only be fair that we both agreed to do something that the other person wanted….

I could feel she stopped what she was doing to think about this and sat next to me in a chair, quietly, like she was mulling over my offer. I really wasn’t sure where I was going with this, but I did feel like this was the ‘right thing’ to say.

At least I got her to stop pushing me down the couch, and the blasts of energy and anxiety stopped long enough for me to see this male figure coming out of the back room doorway, saying in a calm, comforting voice, “Now Rose, that seems like a great idea to me….she will do something for you, and all you have to do is get up out of the chair and come with us! I think that makes a lot of sense! She’s willing to help you out!”

The woman became very quiet, like she was considering my offer, so I said, “yes Rose, I’ll even help you get out of the chair, come on!” So I got up, reached out my hand to her, and she became this entirely different ‘feeling’ person, a different energy, as she also reached her hand out to me and I was surprised that I could feel her take my hand!

The male figure that was there with us started talking to her like he was an old friend, putting his arm around her, and walking her toward the doorway in the back of the room that he came out of.

I could see into this doorway a group of individuals waiting there, and I walked with them up to the door. I knew that I was not to go inside. I felt such a sense of completion at this time…thinking “wow, did I really do what I think I just did?!??!”

I went back to the couch, sat down, and remember another woman coming over and telling me what a good job I just did…’you did some good work’…which made me feel rather good about myself…

Now this same couch became a sitting area for a busy office-like open waiting area (alcove of sorts) where people are walking by all the time. I could see a woman in the chair across from me, concerned, because she’s waiting for someone to come and was concerned that he didn’t remember to bring his favorite pencil/pen(?) he had to have with him. It didn’t feel like she needed help, but was just concerned…and I could see a lot of people just outside the tall glass windows who were lining up for some sort of processing…

The very last part of the experience involved my flying over city streets, as my word associations bring back the fact there was lots of people, a bus parked somewhere, and a modern day train engine that somehow figured into this experience.

I believe I made myself ‘awaken’ at this point as I wanted to recall the ‘retrieval’ that happened earlier, before too much more went on that would make me forget!

COMMENTARY:

I will add more to this commentary as I get feedback from others, but for now, I want to point out my 'firsts' here. This was the first time I EVER encountered any type of negative energy, and it was so unsettling at first that it took me quite by surprise! Such strong waves of radiating darkness...it's just so difficult to describe in words!

Thankfully, I'm glad to know it was a successful encounter, and again, that boosts my confidence greatly! Knowing what to expect, how to deal with it, is such a comforting thought. Putting up 'defenses' to deflect the energy, and sending out warmth and love to the negativity works, just as I've been told!

Also, it was a first for me to feel myself 'inside' that body of the grandmother...wow, really an unusual sensation to feel! I was not concerned at all, except for the fact that I wanted to know where I was and no one wanted to tell me!

Saturday, December 22, 2007

35) First Lucid Task and Incomplete False Awakenings

This experience was actually a culmination of three separate events going OOB, with two incomplete false awakenings happening between them. This was not only a first for me in being able to remember a task I arranged to do prior to sleep, but also a first in that I was also able to remain in the altered state of consciousness when I thought I was awake in order to continue on and return OOB.

Unfortunately, for the most part, there is minimal specific recall as to exactly what I was doing while OOB. It was quite involved with a lot of activity, but I can only remember upon awakening that there was so much I was forgetting!

I will share the bits and pieces of my remembered activities, but I think the major outcome of this experience is the fact I was able to remember my intended task AND I was able to prolong the experience twice without waking.

After awakening around 4am, I started with my energy work and affirmations. Having had a recent discussion about 'mutual dreaming', I intended to look for a friend I was hoping to meet up with while OOB. I used my usual affirmation of “out of body now!” alternating with “show me now”!

After a short while, I felt the ‘settling in’ sensations along with being aware of soft vibrations. This time though, the roaring sound in my right ear became very loud, almost painful, but I went with it knowing you always have to expect anything.

At the point when I knew I could separate, I sat up, climbed out and stood next to my body. As usual, I could feel the ‘heaviness’ pulling me back, so I moved further away.

Again, I couldn’t see a thing, as there is always blindness when I get out at first! I remember feeling the frustration of “why is it always so dark when I first get OOB!” so I tried my “clarity now!” affirmation about 5-6 times with no improvement.

At that point, I gave up seeing and just decided I would do what I set out to do…look for my friend! I kept affirming my friend’s name, so my consciousness could lead me to where I had to go. I know I was going many places, but just cannot recall all of it!

One instance I do recall is being across the street from home in a field, where I was able to be down low enough to feel the tickling of my face against the taller weeds and grasses that grow there. I knew I was intent on getting the ‘physical’ sensation of seeing what things felt like while OOB.

I was aware I was traveling places, and I remember meeting one guy sitting on a hill near my home, who was very nice to talk to, but didn’t give a lot of coherent answers to my questions. I do know I asked him about my friend, and he replied politely, but again, not in an understandable way. He appeared to be of Irish decent, with short red tint hair, with a lean face, (freckles?), and may even have had a thin reddish beard. I do not know who this was.

I also remember hearing a (riding) lawn mower, and seeing it being driven by a white-haired male, shirtless, going past the end of the driveway into another yard, waving his arms for some reason.

At that point I was pulled back to being aware I was on the couch, and I could hear my husband coming down the stairs. Thinking it was early morning and he was leaving for work, I knew I was about to ‘wake up’. However, I could still feel the soft vibrations, and I wanted to prolong the experience, (knowing he wouldn’t try to wake me if I looked to be sleeping) so I just kept quiet and still.

I was able to get out a second time, but don’t have the recall as to what I did except for the fact that I was dancing! I remember thinking, “wow, it’s been along time since I’ve done this type dancing and I don’t remember where my arms and feet are supposed to go!” It was a ballroom type dancing I was doing with someone…lots of fun!

There was a lot more to this second time out but there is just no recall. Funny thing is, I can remember that there was indeed something important to recall….but it was lost immediately upon waking for real at the end of the entire experience.

This time, I was brought to awareness of being on the couch by the entrance of my son, who came into the room and plopped down on the end of the couch by me! I remember he was trying to get me to wake up, throwing some papers on my feet, and I was upset to think he dared to do this!

I was SO deeply involved in my experience at this point, that it was difficult to arouse myself to the awareness level I felt I needed! I was really so deeply in that it was difficult to pull myself back to what I thought was physical awareness. It was almost as though I was in two places at once.

Again, because I still felt some soft vibrations, I just went along with this one too - just because something felt different and I really didn’t want to come back….so I just kept going….

Each time I started to awaken, something told me not to move, that it may not be the real thing. I just remained very still, in same position, and continued on and didn’t react to whatever happened next.

The incomplete false awakening with my husband was easy, but with my son, it was harder as I could feel the touching of my ‘body’ as he tried to wake me! I felt he was really there!

Now, again for the third time, I realized I was out, and that my son’s appearance was also a false awakening. It was the first time that I actually realized WHILE OOB that I had a false awakening!

Now I’m aware again I’m standing in the room next to my sleeping body again and I know I can fly, so I just took off straight up! I went through the ceiling, past the roof, and took note of the changes in texture as I went through the framework of the house.

I continued to go higher and higher through darkness until I heard singing, some sort of song with the word Christmas in it. It was a medley of 3-4 songs at first, not familiar, but then new words were added to it. The songs changed to ones that I knew were directed at me in the sense that they made me feel so good about myself, something like “you are so beautiful” or “you make me so very happy” songs….and it was a male voice singing to me….

That’s when I did awaken for real, and was so profoundly aware that I had had a most wonderful experience! But the recall faded SO quickly….there was SO much that I know I did, but I cannot recall!!

Each time, though, I could feel myself climb out after the waking attempts and I do remember being able to ‘see’ clearly at different points of my OBE, but at this time cannot recall what I saw!!

I am thrilled to think that I shall be able to make clear my intention of performing a task prior to sleep and will now be able to complete it fully!

This experience gives me much more confidence in my abilities, which goes a long way in making your conscious mind aware that it IS a possible outcome to expect!