I had a series of OOBEs last night that was very unusual in the sense that I really did not ‘accomplish’ any specific task (– my only intention was to go ‘inward now!’ if I had the chance) nor had any significant event happen while OOB as far as I can recall. However, I believe this new awareness level I was experiencing was more in answer to my recent inquiry as to how different aspects of OOB experiences can differ in their ‘feel’ and the way they impact on my consciousness.
My initial exit happened quickly as I have no recall of the signaling event. I remember getting out, and feeling VERY heavy, pulling very hard to separate, and trying to move across the wooden floor to the door. I remember it was unusual that I could actually ‘hear’ my footsteps on the floor as I ‘walked’, and recall bending down to feel the floor, as if I thought it was different somehow because I could ‘hear’ my steps.
I moved to the door, but it was not a door that I am familiar with in my house. It had a large glass window at the top, but did not show me what was beyond it. I remember thinking; ‘it’s a door, so I can just float through it’, which I did without difficulty, feeling the texture change as I did.
However, once on the other side, I felt as though I had moved into another ‘dimension’ or altered space. I found myself standing on the other side of the door, looking back at the closed door. I felt as if I was in a black void, with a very ‘different’ feel to it than I have experienced before. I was not comfortable, and remember placing my hands on the heavy door, feeling how ‘solid’ it was, indicating to me that I was not able to pass back through it the way I had come out!
At this time, a little bit of fear crept in, more fear than I’d like to have had, but then realized, ‘Hey wait! It’s a door! I can just open it!’ which I did. But as I opened the door and peeked inside, I saw only a dark, dank, cold stone room…very uninviting! I said, ‘no, I don’t think I’ll go there!’ and closed the door, at which time I woke up. What I recorded was that I felt like I was “exploring” instead of remembering to do the ‘inward now’ as I intended.
My second exit was strange in that I realized I felt very light in my awareness and that my ‘mind’ had gone someplace else in another room. This made me think about bilocation and what it would feel like, a topic I had just recently discussed with someone the evening prior.
Despite feeling so ‘light’ in my awareness (not a deep meditative state as usual), I knew I could still roll out, which I did, with the intention of trying to feel what it is like to be in both places at once, both IN body and OUT of body. (This is hard to describe, but I could feel my physical body and conscious mind as if awake, yet knew I was ‘floating’ enough to get out)
Once out, I found it again VERY difficult to move, pulling and tugging so hard to get away from my physical body. I even propped my ‘foot’ against the couch to prevent my giving in to the tugging back to body! I remember thinking that using ‘inward now!’ would not work at this time since I was not fully separate, so I focused on affirming ‘to the door!’ over and over to get some movement away from the physical body.
Suddenly, I felt an unusual new sensation – a ripping or tearing feeling in the back of my head and neck area. I was not alarmed, but felt it was a warning of some kind.
Despite achieving some movement once OOB, I never did make it to the door – being pulled back in body with the ‘knowing’ that I had too much awareness that stopped my progress (caused by my desire to feel ‘both’ places at once as in bilocation).
The third exit I had this night was the most interesting and educational for me. Despite losing a lot of details with a prolonged false awakening at the end (described below), I know I was being shown much information that I may be using in the future.
I had the usual signal I was ready to exit when I found my feet floating up in the air, but again feeling that very light state of awareness instead of a deeper mindset. I could remember that I had had difficulty getting out previously with this light state, so when I discovered that there were ‘physical hands’ touching my feet and moving them about, I said “I need some help in getting out!”
There was a warm sensation of hands (palms pressed against the soles of my feet) already on, and after asking for help, a second pair of hands were felt on my instep areas. (It has been a long time since I felt these ‘otherwordly’ hands assisting me, but I knew they were there to help)
I moved out of body easily with their assistance, and remember conversing with a female at length as to why I having such difficulty tonight. The only response I recall was her mention of ‘learning different levels’ and ‘I can only do it at my level’, or something to that effect. I remember thinking I’d like to ask her name, but since she didn’t offer one, I didn’t push for an answer. I know there so was so much more to this conversation that I just cannot recall.
At some point, I found myself back on the couch, again with my feet in the air and the same warm hands on the bottom of my feet. Wanting to get out, I remember a second pair of hands now reaching for my hands and pulling me up and out – and most interesting was that these hands were small, as if a child or very small female.
I was led blindly to the door and outside by two females, and remember asking ‘why is it always so dark?’ as I could see nothing but blackness. Their answer was ‘yes, we can see that’ and my vision then opened up.
Once outside, I said I wanted to fly again, as it has been a long time since I experienced that wonderful sensation. I flew up to the tree tops and remember even touching a leaf to experience the sensation. I recall hearing distant thunder, and felt raindrops hit my ‘body’, which made me remember that there was a forecast for rain this day and that I’d have to check when I woke up to see if it was really raining.
At some point, one female said she wanted to show me something and took me over to an area next to a wooden fence and under a large tree. She was showing me an earthen mound, with rocks (?) stacked together on top, yet I don’t really think this is what it actually was. At the time, I knew what it was, but in trying to recall what it looked like, this is the best association I could make. It had this ‘altar’, ‘memorial’, or ‘grave’ type feeling to it.
She was telling me something like “it needs to be done like this” and “I need to show you the first time and then you will have to show me you can do it on your own before we can move on. That’s how it works.” At the time I understood fully, but in recall, I have no idea what we were talking about. Again, there was SO much more I was shown but have completely forgotten, mainly due to the subsequent false awakening experience.
Upon realizing I am back on the couch, I take out my recorder, and stop as I hear someone come in the front door. They walk past me to the bedroom, and then I hear my husband once again, walking downstairs to see where I am.
I am never sure if these false awakenings are real, so I always ‘play along’ to see what happens. My husband just stood quietly at the base of the stairs, near the couch, and I remember watching him, supposedly with my eyes wide open, to see what he was going to do.
I had the feeling he was debating whether to wake me or not, and I began to think, maybe I should ask if there is anyone else around (as I did in my previous experience). I believe I asked ‘is anyone there’ and got no response. Now I’m beginning to worry that much of the previous OOBE is being lost with this delay in recording, so I attempt to find my recorder again.
Not realizing I was not fully awake, I am talking into the recorder trying to recall the earlier events. It took even more time for me to arouse completely, realizing I didn’t even have the recorder in my hands when I fully awoke! It took so long for me to get completely awake, waiting and waiting for the false awakening to end, that it made me lose much of the earlier OOB experience with the females. (In hindsight, I am thinking perhaps this prolonged false awakening was intentional so that I would consciously forget much that I learned OOB.)
What was different for each of these OOB exits was that I was so much more aware of my physical body when I had the ‘floating’ signal to exit. There was more ‘consciousness’ in the experience, as I felt so much lighter and more ‘awake’ than usual upon exiting.
One last late morning experience I had was more of a lucid dream that converted into what I feel was ‘astral vision’. With astral vision, you are definitely aware you are in bed, yet clearly seeing and experiencing what you are viewing with your eyes.
Initially it started as a mundane dream, with plans to go out with my sister. She was ready to go, and I was delayed in getting ready. Saying she’d wait for me downstairs, I went to my room where I found her phone ringing (she had left it behind). It was a woman named ‘Gurda’ and upon explaining who I was, she said she’d call back later.
The scene transitioned somehow to being outdoors, lying down in the grass, and watching the clouds go by. Someone said, ‘Look! Do you see that?’ pointing to the sky. I attempted to see what they were looking at, seeing only clouds and a small wisp of smoke (?) in the distance.
Immediately, I felt awake, knowing I was still in my bed, yet continuing to see the sky and clouds above! From the center of the ‘viewing area’, I know watched as a 3D parade of various military items moved from left to right. There were soldiers, then tanks, planes, even space shuttles moving very clearly across my viewing aperture.
Still knowing I was in bed, I enjoyed this ability to do two things at once, even feeling my head turn to the right to watch as a parachutist landed, bounced back up, then landed again. (In actuality, I do not believe I really turned my head, but it sure felt like I did!) I was still able to hear those I was with ask what I was looking at, but knowing they could not see this and concerned that by answering I’d lose the experience, chose to ignore their questions.
The opening faded, and I became fully awake and aware. I have no idea why I saw military-related items in this viewing, but am glad to have had these rare experience of astral vision, flying, and 'helping hands' once again.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Addendum to #69 - Connection Made!?!
I thought I’d share what amazing findings there was with this OOBE where I tried to connect with someone I have only talked to online and do not know well (G.S.) I can’t believe that I would get even this close a correlation – it’s not perfect, but it’s close!
Here is his response to my description of him:
“You did not say long or round face, you said long rather than round, i.e. I interpret as oblong, which is how I would describe my face. My hair is straight (but very short), salt & pepper hair, to a degree, more grey showing up daily. But the best is my square-ish wire glasses, right on. I’m usually shaven, so the beard not so much.”
Interesting point here, is that when I listened to my recording of the description, I hesitated at the beard part, first saying it was there, then no, it’s not, but then decided on a very light barely there beard.
I have never done this before, but I feel a sense of achievement in even getting this close!
Here is his response to my description of him:
“You did not say long or round face, you said long rather than round, i.e. I interpret as oblong, which is how I would describe my face. My hair is straight (but very short), salt & pepper hair, to a degree, more grey showing up daily. But the best is my square-ish wire glasses, right on. I’m usually shaven, so the beard not so much.”
Interesting point here, is that when I listened to my recording of the description, I hesitated at the beard part, first saying it was there, then no, it’s not, but then decided on a very light barely there beard.
I have never done this before, but I feel a sense of achievement in even getting this close!
Friday, August 15, 2008
69) Easy Exit; Meeting a New Face; Little Man Contact
Here we go again with another really unique OOBE for me...as always, there is something new I learn with every outing!
I moved to my traveling couch at 3 am intending to try to meet up with W. again, but now with the additional information that he associates his ‘self’ with a nickname, so I figure a closer approximation to reaching my ‘target’ would be to use his more familiar full name of G.S. (of course, initials are used here to protect the identity of those who are assumed to be innocent…lol…)
I first became aware of hearing my stepson come home through the nearby front door, and once again, knew this could possibly be a ‘false awakening’ due to the fact that I thought he was already home when I went to bed. So I just continued to lie there quietly, and listened to him turn on the TV and walk over to the couch and attempt to sit down right on top of me!!
I kept my eyes closed, but tried to ‘move’ a little to show him I was there in case he didn’t see me. It was when I noticed that he now was trying to squeeze in between my head and the side of the couch that I KNEW this was a false awakening, as he would NEVER attempt to do this.
Upon this realization, I had probably the strongest vibrations I have ever felt! Knowing this was my startup to the OOBE, I just relaxed into them and amazingly found myself effortlessly floating completely out of body about a foot above the couch!! (Usually, I get a signal that it’s time to roll out when one or two body parts start floating, but this time, it was my whole body!)
The other amazing difference is that there was so much light (not usual darkness) and totally clear vision with clear conscious thinking going on, even more so than my usual initial roll outs. I think to myself, ‘either I’m wide awake and it’s morning or I’m totally out of body!’ Not trying to even decide which I was, I figured I’d just ‘step out’ to see what would happen.
I find myself effortlessly and lightly ‘stepping out’ (no roll out this time) to the living room, feeling so much lighter and less encumbered than I usually do. It was so easy! I even remember seeing the bottom part of my silk pajama legs as I stepped out (probably because I took careful attention when putting them on to notice how they felt).
No heavy sensations, no tugging energy back to my body, no darkness. I wish I could explain how I knew I was definitely OOB, but it’s just so ‘real’ you KNOW it is happening. My thinking processes were also so much clearer, as I ‘felt’ I was wide awake and thinking as I always do.
I float (again, so effortlessly!) to the front door, as I know I will pass completely through it without a problem to the outdoors. However, as I get closer, my ‘physical’ remembrances kick in slightly and I recall I just had to turn slightly to my right so that my left side would pass through the door – just to be sure I was not going to get hit flat in the face with a solid object!! lol
I felt so clear, and I’ve never felt so clear with my consciousness in any other OOBE. I clearly knew what I wanted to do, to meet G.S., and so I took off from the front porch floating up gently with his name focused in my mind. I remember I put my arms up and out, reaching forward, but am not sure for what reason.
About tree top level, I looked down and saw my faithful dog Buddy sitting below, waiting for me. I told him to ‘stay’ this time, and just continued on enjoying the peaceful drifting and floating.
I am not sure what exactly happened next, but after some movement sensations, I was shown a face of a man that I have never seen before. Attached to this face was a brotherly feeling, and I tried to take note of his features as I thought perhaps this related to G.S. in some way.
(Long rather than round face, straight hair, brushed off to left side of forehead, gray (salt & pepper?) or graying darker hair color, square-ish wire glasses, thin (barely there) beard)
The entire experience ended soon thereafter as I remember I gently floated back into my body just as easily as I exited (again unusual as I don’t remember my return to body ordinarily.) I woke completely and recorded this experience, focusing on a good facial description and wishing I had some paper to sketch the face!
As it was only 4:30am now, I attempted to return to that state of consciousness, eager to experience it once again. This time, I wanted to once again ‘just help someone’ so set that as my intention.
I ‘awoke’ hearing loud voices outside the same front door talking animatedly. I recognized the voices as belonging to my son and my stepson. Again, not knowing if this was another false awakening or real life, I just pretended to stay asleep and see what happens. I heard one of them come in the living room, walk to the kitchen, and then over to the end table next to the couch I am lying on! He picks something up and continues on past me to his room.
Meanwhile, I remember hearing my dog Buddy come into the room and curl up next to me on the floor by the couch. (This is all so ‘normal’ for real life actions that I really wonder sometimes how I manage to keep my eyes closed and pretend I’m asleep – but my stepson really was fast asleep the entire time in his room!)
Now I hear more footsteps and recognize them as my 18 year old daughter’s. I KNOW she is not here in the house currently, so I am now aware it IS a ‘false awakening’ and I go with it.
She comes into the living room, sits on the floor next to me, and proceeds to tell me all about a small problem she needs my help with. She is speaking so softly that I have to tell her to ‘speak louder, I can’t hear you’. She is requesting I write a note for her, and I answer, “ok I will take care of it, not to worry” and she continues talking on and on. I am so enjoying our conversation and ask her to climb up on the couch with me where she curls up into a big hug. Amazingly, (and without any reaction from me at the time!) I notice she becomes younger and younger after I tell her, ‘oh my baby girl, I’m so glad you came to see me!’ (‘Baby girl’ is my pet name for her). She is now my 3 year old daughter from 15 years ago, curled in my arms, yet still conversing!
Now, as I’m talking to her, I once again hear voices on the front porch, but this time they belong to my husband and brother! Despite holding my daughter in my arms, I once again feel I have to ‘pretend’ I’m asleep and close my eyes. However, as this is the third time tonight with these false awakenings and knowing I have my daughter in my arms, I realize maybe I can just ‘stay awake’ to see what will happen next.
Listening to the voice, I now become aware that someone is standing next to the couch, just above my head. (I don’t see him, I sense him really). I ask, ‘is anyone there?’ and hear a small voice answer. I see a small boy standing there, and ask his name. He answers, but it was so softly spoken and knowing I wanted to remember it, I had to ask him a second time.
He answers, ‘Dekshepta’ and I get an immediate visual on the spelling of the name, as if I am to remember it spelled exactly this way or perhaps it was to help me remember the pronunciation.
He moves around to the front of the couch and I ask, ‘where do you live?’ as he answers, ‘oh, anywhere….’ and I realize this line of questioning isn’t going to work. (In hindsight, not a great question to start with!)
We start talking about many things, of which nothing I can recall! However, while we are talking, I am realizing this ‘little boy’ is not a young boy, but an adult in a little body. (His mannerisms were definitely adult-like, and his face was unshaven with a few days facial hair, longer almost shoulder length dark blonde or light brown shaggy looking hair)
He walks around the living room while conversing, and picks up some sort of stick and plays with it as he talks. He was tough, as I felt he was disillusioned and bitter because he spoke so dismally and matter-of-factly with the feeling ‘that this is how things are here and that’s all it will be.’
He walks away toward my side door, and I get the immediate feeling that ‘it’s now or never’ to do something! I say to him, “Listen, have you ever wanted to go someplace that is perfect in every way?” I cannot say that I really used those exact words, because I believe I used more ‘feelings’ to communicate these thoughts than words.
He answers bitterly, “Yeah, yeah…I know…that perfect place that everyone wants you to go to…” I got the feeling others have tried before to get him to go and he wasn’t buying it. I said “that’s fine, but I do want to tell you that I’ve been there and it IS wonderful there….I thought you might like to see it.”
Things then started to fade as he stood by the side door, and I don’t know if telling him that I had been to this ‘perfect’ place finally made him consider it, or if it was another lost attempt to help someone who is stuck within their own made up belief system in this plane. I awoke, recorded this, and noted the time being 5:30am.
I thought I’d also share few notes on my feelings regarding the sequence of events in this two part OOBE.
It is possibly due to the fact that I have been discussing and describing how my OOBE’s are ‘real’ and having to think intently about my responses allowed me to experience a unique ‘clearness’ to really nail home the difference to me as to exactly how the OOBE can feel. (You can read these forum posts at Link to Site)
Also, by not ‘closing my eyes and pretending to be asleep’ I finally learned that I should remain ‘awake’ and more aware of my surroundings within the false awakenings. This allowed me to see the little boy in the room. Watching my daughter ‘change’ in age in my lap allowed me to be able to see the little boy become a man in a little body without a concern.
_______
Once again, if anyone would like to offer additional insight, I'm open to all possibilities. I will have to let you know how the facial description matches when I hear back from the intended contact.
However, I have to remember to not be disappointed should it be no match to G.S., as things in these astral realms are never easy to put into physical description nor do they have to necessarily be a perfect match for this life.
I moved to my traveling couch at 3 am intending to try to meet up with W. again, but now with the additional information that he associates his ‘self’ with a nickname, so I figure a closer approximation to reaching my ‘target’ would be to use his more familiar full name of G.S. (of course, initials are used here to protect the identity of those who are assumed to be innocent…lol…)
I first became aware of hearing my stepson come home through the nearby front door, and once again, knew this could possibly be a ‘false awakening’ due to the fact that I thought he was already home when I went to bed. So I just continued to lie there quietly, and listened to him turn on the TV and walk over to the couch and attempt to sit down right on top of me!!
I kept my eyes closed, but tried to ‘move’ a little to show him I was there in case he didn’t see me. It was when I noticed that he now was trying to squeeze in between my head and the side of the couch that I KNEW this was a false awakening, as he would NEVER attempt to do this.
Upon this realization, I had probably the strongest vibrations I have ever felt! Knowing this was my startup to the OOBE, I just relaxed into them and amazingly found myself effortlessly floating completely out of body about a foot above the couch!! (Usually, I get a signal that it’s time to roll out when one or two body parts start floating, but this time, it was my whole body!)
The other amazing difference is that there was so much light (not usual darkness) and totally clear vision with clear conscious thinking going on, even more so than my usual initial roll outs. I think to myself, ‘either I’m wide awake and it’s morning or I’m totally out of body!’ Not trying to even decide which I was, I figured I’d just ‘step out’ to see what would happen.
I find myself effortlessly and lightly ‘stepping out’ (no roll out this time) to the living room, feeling so much lighter and less encumbered than I usually do. It was so easy! I even remember seeing the bottom part of my silk pajama legs as I stepped out (probably because I took careful attention when putting them on to notice how they felt).
No heavy sensations, no tugging energy back to my body, no darkness. I wish I could explain how I knew I was definitely OOB, but it’s just so ‘real’ you KNOW it is happening. My thinking processes were also so much clearer, as I ‘felt’ I was wide awake and thinking as I always do.
I float (again, so effortlessly!) to the front door, as I know I will pass completely through it without a problem to the outdoors. However, as I get closer, my ‘physical’ remembrances kick in slightly and I recall I just had to turn slightly to my right so that my left side would pass through the door – just to be sure I was not going to get hit flat in the face with a solid object!! lol
I felt so clear, and I’ve never felt so clear with my consciousness in any other OOBE. I clearly knew what I wanted to do, to meet G.S., and so I took off from the front porch floating up gently with his name focused in my mind. I remember I put my arms up and out, reaching forward, but am not sure for what reason.
About tree top level, I looked down and saw my faithful dog Buddy sitting below, waiting for me. I told him to ‘stay’ this time, and just continued on enjoying the peaceful drifting and floating.
I am not sure what exactly happened next, but after some movement sensations, I was shown a face of a man that I have never seen before. Attached to this face was a brotherly feeling, and I tried to take note of his features as I thought perhaps this related to G.S. in some way.
(Long rather than round face, straight hair, brushed off to left side of forehead, gray (salt & pepper?) or graying darker hair color, square-ish wire glasses, thin (barely there) beard)
The entire experience ended soon thereafter as I remember I gently floated back into my body just as easily as I exited (again unusual as I don’t remember my return to body ordinarily.) I woke completely and recorded this experience, focusing on a good facial description and wishing I had some paper to sketch the face!
As it was only 4:30am now, I attempted to return to that state of consciousness, eager to experience it once again. This time, I wanted to once again ‘just help someone’ so set that as my intention.
I ‘awoke’ hearing loud voices outside the same front door talking animatedly. I recognized the voices as belonging to my son and my stepson. Again, not knowing if this was another false awakening or real life, I just pretended to stay asleep and see what happens. I heard one of them come in the living room, walk to the kitchen, and then over to the end table next to the couch I am lying on! He picks something up and continues on past me to his room.
Meanwhile, I remember hearing my dog Buddy come into the room and curl up next to me on the floor by the couch. (This is all so ‘normal’ for real life actions that I really wonder sometimes how I manage to keep my eyes closed and pretend I’m asleep – but my stepson really was fast asleep the entire time in his room!)
Now I hear more footsteps and recognize them as my 18 year old daughter’s. I KNOW she is not here in the house currently, so I am now aware it IS a ‘false awakening’ and I go with it.
She comes into the living room, sits on the floor next to me, and proceeds to tell me all about a small problem she needs my help with. She is speaking so softly that I have to tell her to ‘speak louder, I can’t hear you’. She is requesting I write a note for her, and I answer, “ok I will take care of it, not to worry” and she continues talking on and on. I am so enjoying our conversation and ask her to climb up on the couch with me where she curls up into a big hug. Amazingly, (and without any reaction from me at the time!) I notice she becomes younger and younger after I tell her, ‘oh my baby girl, I’m so glad you came to see me!’ (‘Baby girl’ is my pet name for her). She is now my 3 year old daughter from 15 years ago, curled in my arms, yet still conversing!
Now, as I’m talking to her, I once again hear voices on the front porch, but this time they belong to my husband and brother! Despite holding my daughter in my arms, I once again feel I have to ‘pretend’ I’m asleep and close my eyes. However, as this is the third time tonight with these false awakenings and knowing I have my daughter in my arms, I realize maybe I can just ‘stay awake’ to see what will happen next.
Listening to the voice, I now become aware that someone is standing next to the couch, just above my head. (I don’t see him, I sense him really). I ask, ‘is anyone there?’ and hear a small voice answer. I see a small boy standing there, and ask his name. He answers, but it was so softly spoken and knowing I wanted to remember it, I had to ask him a second time.
He answers, ‘Dekshepta’ and I get an immediate visual on the spelling of the name, as if I am to remember it spelled exactly this way or perhaps it was to help me remember the pronunciation.
He moves around to the front of the couch and I ask, ‘where do you live?’ as he answers, ‘oh, anywhere….’ and I realize this line of questioning isn’t going to work. (In hindsight, not a great question to start with!)
We start talking about many things, of which nothing I can recall! However, while we are talking, I am realizing this ‘little boy’ is not a young boy, but an adult in a little body. (His mannerisms were definitely adult-like, and his face was unshaven with a few days facial hair, longer almost shoulder length dark blonde or light brown shaggy looking hair)
He walks around the living room while conversing, and picks up some sort of stick and plays with it as he talks. He was tough, as I felt he was disillusioned and bitter because he spoke so dismally and matter-of-factly with the feeling ‘that this is how things are here and that’s all it will be.’
He walks away toward my side door, and I get the immediate feeling that ‘it’s now or never’ to do something! I say to him, “Listen, have you ever wanted to go someplace that is perfect in every way?” I cannot say that I really used those exact words, because I believe I used more ‘feelings’ to communicate these thoughts than words.
He answers bitterly, “Yeah, yeah…I know…that perfect place that everyone wants you to go to…” I got the feeling others have tried before to get him to go and he wasn’t buying it. I said “that’s fine, but I do want to tell you that I’ve been there and it IS wonderful there….I thought you might like to see it.”
Things then started to fade as he stood by the side door, and I don’t know if telling him that I had been to this ‘perfect’ place finally made him consider it, or if it was another lost attempt to help someone who is stuck within their own made up belief system in this plane. I awoke, recorded this, and noted the time being 5:30am.
I thought I’d also share few notes on my feelings regarding the sequence of events in this two part OOBE.
It is possibly due to the fact that I have been discussing and describing how my OOBE’s are ‘real’ and having to think intently about my responses allowed me to experience a unique ‘clearness’ to really nail home the difference to me as to exactly how the OOBE can feel. (You can read these forum posts at Link to Site)
Also, by not ‘closing my eyes and pretending to be asleep’ I finally learned that I should remain ‘awake’ and more aware of my surroundings within the false awakenings. This allowed me to see the little boy in the room. Watching my daughter ‘change’ in age in my lap allowed me to be able to see the little boy become a man in a little body without a concern.
_______
Once again, if anyone would like to offer additional insight, I'm open to all possibilities. I will have to let you know how the facial description matches when I hear back from the intended contact.
However, I have to remember to not be disappointed should it be no match to G.S., as things in these astral realms are never easy to put into physical description nor do they have to necessarily be a perfect match for this life.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
68) Multiple Exits - W.;Near Physical; Familiar Faces
8/10/08 4 – 6am
I had some very interesting travels last night, yet have very limited recall for a lot of it probably due to the ‘higher level’ of interaction that occurred with the people I met. I have found that when experiences are felt and observed on a higher realm that there is little association your physical mind can relate to and therefore once the transition is made back to full awareness, you lose much information.
I know this is what happened last night, as I can recall that ‘deep’ changeover as I transitioned and the loss of info that came almost instantaneously due to my limited physical mind abilities. However, I will record here what I do remember, although it just feels as though these ‘mere’ words cannot do justice to what I felt and observed.
Initially, I set an intention to see what would happen if I chose a name of someone I had just talked to online and knew nothing about. Over the course of a few hours I remember getting OOB a few times, and each time was different. I will try to make some timeline of what I remember with each OOB, however, this may not have happened in this sequence.
Initially, I remember ‘dreaming’ of being with a little boy who was playing with these red blocks. My sister and daughter were there and were planning on going shopping for party supplies and I talked them into taking this little boy with them so I could ‘travel’. As soon as they left, I said, ‘good, now I can go traveling’ and headed for the couch.
The first few times OOB I felt very heavy, and very close to physical, as I was fully aware I was standing in my living room as it is. Each time I remember feeling the strong ‘tugging’ back to my body and had to firmly intend ‘to the door!’ to move away.
One of the first times OOB, I moved quickly ‘to the door’ and outside. Here I remembered that I wanted to see W. Not really sure how to go about it, I just left it to the Universe to show me what to do.
I remember moving silently and through darkness, without any vision at all. Then I could clearly hear music, and it was music that was contemporary in that it was a ‘hip-hop’ or ‘blues’ type music with a male voice doing the vocals. It wasn’t much ‘singing’ as it was ‘talking’ words to the music and for some reason, I felt it had to be associated with W., as it was not ‘my’ preferred type of music. (I wish I was more familiar with the current singers and groups so I would know who this was, but I just don’t watch TV or listen to the radio at all.)
I faded back to awareness on the couch without any further insight, listening to the waterfall in my fishpond outside the window. (This waterfall sound always gave me the signal I was ‘back in real life’ for these various excursions.).
A short while later, I became aware of being on the couch and heard my dog and daughter (who is not at home!) come into the room. My dog walked over to the couch, gave me a big wet kiss, and put his head on my chest. My daughter walked to the bottom of the couch, sat down, and said ‘my throat hurts and I’m tired’. I know I had a conversation with her but cannot recall anything further. I faded back to full awareness again hearing my waterfall.
Another time I was aware I was hearing the TV playing, a signal I have used many times in the past to tell me I am ready to get out. (TV is never left on as I so rarely watch it). This time, however, a little girl was with me by the couch, one who spoke with such a soft soothing voice that I remember having to ask her a few times to repeat her words. What little I remember is that she said her name was Jilliard or Jill (?) and she sat quietly on the back of the couch near my feet, saying, “so this is your traveling couch?....you always stay down at that end and never lie on this end because there is so much ‘foam (?)’…” (it is not a foam couch).
One more time, I became aware of being able to ‘roll out’ and did so, again with heaviness and difficulty. However, this time, I was able to stand closer to the couch and look back. I have never been able to ‘see’ my sleeping body on the couch and this time was no different. However, I did see the blankets, mounded up as if a body was under it, with little blanket movements where my hand and foot would be to show me that I WAS there! It was unusual in that my body itself was ‘invisible’, and I feel this again is due to my own ‘belief’ that if I did ever see myself, it would cause havoc in assimilating that information. I didn’t dwell on the fact that I couldn’t see myself, and was just accepting of the fact that I was definitely there on the couch.
At this time, I believe I moved around the living room to ‘play’ in this environment, and remember sticking my head through the side wall of the house and feeling the cool air outside and seeing the actual outdoors. Vision at this time was intermittent, as I could see, but occasionally my eyelids would feel so ‘heavy’ the vision would dim, and I would have to say ‘clarity now!’ to see again.
I remember lying on the floor, pulling myself away from my body, feeling that heavy, heavy feeling of being so close to physical. At that time, I remembered to say ‘vibrations now’ in hopes that it would ‘lighten’ my feelings, and it did! I floated up easily, and then tried to sink down through the floor to the basement.
However, I could ‘physically feel’ the floor as I landed, and said, ‘no, I’m still too heavy’ and repeated ‘vibrations now!’ which allowed me to sink down right through the floor. Feeling confident that I was capable of controlling my movements now, I headed for the front door. I saw my fireplace where it usually is, however, it was much bigger and more exquisite with a glowing, beautiful fire. I remember thinking, ‘wow, its summer and shouldn’t be on’, but the warmth it gave was energizing so I didn’t think twice about it.
Again, I was heavy in the sense that I could ‘physically feel’ the furniture as I bumped into it, yet continued on. I do remember trying to turn the one swivel chair to a different position thinking perhaps I could then see it in its new position once I completely wake up. (Amazing that I am able to know I am not ‘in body’ and will eventually fully awaken – at that time, moving the furniture to a new position I felt would be a validation that I could use to further confirm my OOB existence. It was not in the new position when I did awaken, though.)
My vision continued to fade in and out, and at the front door, it faded again. I had the ‘feeling’ someone was there and yelled out, ‘is someone there?’ I felt a warm friend touch on my forehead, at which time my vision cleared completely.
I saw a young male, curly black hair, working on the front door. He said ‘it’s just me’ and I remember asking him his name. I asked ‘who are you?’ and he said he was the “best friend of Maureen Hal?/Hol?” He was so friendly, and we had a long conversation, but all I can recall is his name that sounded Hispanic starting with “Neo….n (?) I asked him to repeat it a few times trying to ‘seal’ it in my memory, but it was so unusual that I could not associate it with anything. It was the events that would occur after meeting him that would become extremely difficult to recall and I no longer felt so heavy and ‘close to physical’.
Now I am outside of a beautiful ranch style house with black trim, and feel it is MY house, but as I always wished it to be. On the ground is white snow (?) and I am with these two other men carrying on a wonderful conversation. I remember asking, ‘is this snow?’ and their answer was ‘it is whatever you want it to be’ and I said, ‘ok, it’s snow’ and gathered some up and felt it tingling on my face as it came down. ( I love to do that in real life anyway! lol)
A table was set up as if some sort of occasion and a woman came out of the house to talk with us. I still recall her appearance, it was so warm and receptive, but again I have no recall as to what we talked about. At that time, however, it was so easy to remember.
I still recall the transition back to full awareness and that feeling of ‘panic’ as I knew I was going to lose much information. It was such a deep transition (tough to explain) that I tried desperately to associate anything I could to remember, but to no avail. At one point, I remember picking up my recorder, finding I had TWO in my hand, placing one in each hand. The left hand recorder had no on/off switch, so I changed to the other, and that one had a non-working on/off switch. (Later when I fully awakened, I had NOTHING in my hands)
Prior to fully awakening, though, I could hear things clearly – one was a song with a title I recognized and knew at that time it’s meaning to me (lost now), and another time was random voices talking that become agitated, and knew I could help by sending ‘white light and love’ to them. Everything faded until the very end I remember seeing my mother (who is still alive) at my side asking me if I had my bathing suit with the cup and pad (?) I said, yes, I have it, and she said ‘good, then make sure you wear it’…..she was happy that I remembered to bring it!
I became fully awake and recorded as much as I could recall – and yet still, felt incomplete in the sense that I will never be able to fully write and explain all that experienced to the breadth and depth that I felt. I know these were people I met that I have known before and they were all very happy to see me and be with me.
I had some very interesting travels last night, yet have very limited recall for a lot of it probably due to the ‘higher level’ of interaction that occurred with the people I met. I have found that when experiences are felt and observed on a higher realm that there is little association your physical mind can relate to and therefore once the transition is made back to full awareness, you lose much information.
I know this is what happened last night, as I can recall that ‘deep’ changeover as I transitioned and the loss of info that came almost instantaneously due to my limited physical mind abilities. However, I will record here what I do remember, although it just feels as though these ‘mere’ words cannot do justice to what I felt and observed.
Initially, I set an intention to see what would happen if I chose a name of someone I had just talked to online and knew nothing about. Over the course of a few hours I remember getting OOB a few times, and each time was different. I will try to make some timeline of what I remember with each OOB, however, this may not have happened in this sequence.
Initially, I remember ‘dreaming’ of being with a little boy who was playing with these red blocks. My sister and daughter were there and were planning on going shopping for party supplies and I talked them into taking this little boy with them so I could ‘travel’. As soon as they left, I said, ‘good, now I can go traveling’ and headed for the couch.
The first few times OOB I felt very heavy, and very close to physical, as I was fully aware I was standing in my living room as it is. Each time I remember feeling the strong ‘tugging’ back to my body and had to firmly intend ‘to the door!’ to move away.
One of the first times OOB, I moved quickly ‘to the door’ and outside. Here I remembered that I wanted to see W. Not really sure how to go about it, I just left it to the Universe to show me what to do.
I remember moving silently and through darkness, without any vision at all. Then I could clearly hear music, and it was music that was contemporary in that it was a ‘hip-hop’ or ‘blues’ type music with a male voice doing the vocals. It wasn’t much ‘singing’ as it was ‘talking’ words to the music and for some reason, I felt it had to be associated with W., as it was not ‘my’ preferred type of music. (I wish I was more familiar with the current singers and groups so I would know who this was, but I just don’t watch TV or listen to the radio at all.)
I faded back to awareness on the couch without any further insight, listening to the waterfall in my fishpond outside the window. (This waterfall sound always gave me the signal I was ‘back in real life’ for these various excursions.).
A short while later, I became aware of being on the couch and heard my dog and daughter (who is not at home!) come into the room. My dog walked over to the couch, gave me a big wet kiss, and put his head on my chest. My daughter walked to the bottom of the couch, sat down, and said ‘my throat hurts and I’m tired’. I know I had a conversation with her but cannot recall anything further. I faded back to full awareness again hearing my waterfall.
Another time I was aware I was hearing the TV playing, a signal I have used many times in the past to tell me I am ready to get out. (TV is never left on as I so rarely watch it). This time, however, a little girl was with me by the couch, one who spoke with such a soft soothing voice that I remember having to ask her a few times to repeat her words. What little I remember is that she said her name was Jilliard or Jill (?) and she sat quietly on the back of the couch near my feet, saying, “so this is your traveling couch?....you always stay down at that end and never lie on this end because there is so much ‘foam (?)’…” (it is not a foam couch).
One more time, I became aware of being able to ‘roll out’ and did so, again with heaviness and difficulty. However, this time, I was able to stand closer to the couch and look back. I have never been able to ‘see’ my sleeping body on the couch and this time was no different. However, I did see the blankets, mounded up as if a body was under it, with little blanket movements where my hand and foot would be to show me that I WAS there! It was unusual in that my body itself was ‘invisible’, and I feel this again is due to my own ‘belief’ that if I did ever see myself, it would cause havoc in assimilating that information. I didn’t dwell on the fact that I couldn’t see myself, and was just accepting of the fact that I was definitely there on the couch.
At this time, I believe I moved around the living room to ‘play’ in this environment, and remember sticking my head through the side wall of the house and feeling the cool air outside and seeing the actual outdoors. Vision at this time was intermittent, as I could see, but occasionally my eyelids would feel so ‘heavy’ the vision would dim, and I would have to say ‘clarity now!’ to see again.
I remember lying on the floor, pulling myself away from my body, feeling that heavy, heavy feeling of being so close to physical. At that time, I remembered to say ‘vibrations now’ in hopes that it would ‘lighten’ my feelings, and it did! I floated up easily, and then tried to sink down through the floor to the basement.
However, I could ‘physically feel’ the floor as I landed, and said, ‘no, I’m still too heavy’ and repeated ‘vibrations now!’ which allowed me to sink down right through the floor. Feeling confident that I was capable of controlling my movements now, I headed for the front door. I saw my fireplace where it usually is, however, it was much bigger and more exquisite with a glowing, beautiful fire. I remember thinking, ‘wow, its summer and shouldn’t be on’, but the warmth it gave was energizing so I didn’t think twice about it.
Again, I was heavy in the sense that I could ‘physically feel’ the furniture as I bumped into it, yet continued on. I do remember trying to turn the one swivel chair to a different position thinking perhaps I could then see it in its new position once I completely wake up. (Amazing that I am able to know I am not ‘in body’ and will eventually fully awaken – at that time, moving the furniture to a new position I felt would be a validation that I could use to further confirm my OOB existence. It was not in the new position when I did awaken, though.)
My vision continued to fade in and out, and at the front door, it faded again. I had the ‘feeling’ someone was there and yelled out, ‘is someone there?’ I felt a warm friend touch on my forehead, at which time my vision cleared completely.
I saw a young male, curly black hair, working on the front door. He said ‘it’s just me’ and I remember asking him his name. I asked ‘who are you?’ and he said he was the “best friend of Maureen Hal?/Hol?” He was so friendly, and we had a long conversation, but all I can recall is his name that sounded Hispanic starting with “Neo….n (?) I asked him to repeat it a few times trying to ‘seal’ it in my memory, but it was so unusual that I could not associate it with anything. It was the events that would occur after meeting him that would become extremely difficult to recall and I no longer felt so heavy and ‘close to physical’.
Now I am outside of a beautiful ranch style house with black trim, and feel it is MY house, but as I always wished it to be. On the ground is white snow (?) and I am with these two other men carrying on a wonderful conversation. I remember asking, ‘is this snow?’ and their answer was ‘it is whatever you want it to be’ and I said, ‘ok, it’s snow’ and gathered some up and felt it tingling on my face as it came down. ( I love to do that in real life anyway! lol)
A table was set up as if some sort of occasion and a woman came out of the house to talk with us. I still recall her appearance, it was so warm and receptive, but again I have no recall as to what we talked about. At that time, however, it was so easy to remember.
I still recall the transition back to full awareness and that feeling of ‘panic’ as I knew I was going to lose much information. It was such a deep transition (tough to explain) that I tried desperately to associate anything I could to remember, but to no avail. At one point, I remember picking up my recorder, finding I had TWO in my hand, placing one in each hand. The left hand recorder had no on/off switch, so I changed to the other, and that one had a non-working on/off switch. (Later when I fully awakened, I had NOTHING in my hands)
Prior to fully awakening, though, I could hear things clearly – one was a song with a title I recognized and knew at that time it’s meaning to me (lost now), and another time was random voices talking that become agitated, and knew I could help by sending ‘white light and love’ to them. Everything faded until the very end I remember seeing my mother (who is still alive) at my side asking me if I had my bathing suit with the cup and pad (?) I said, yes, I have it, and she said ‘good, then make sure you wear it’…..she was happy that I remembered to bring it!
I became fully awake and recorded as much as I could recall – and yet still, felt incomplete in the sense that I will never be able to fully write and explain all that experienced to the breadth and depth that I felt. I know these were people I met that I have known before and they were all very happy to see me and be with me.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
67) Meeting Children in Astral
I was again on my ‘traveling’ couch attempting to get OOB with the desire to ‘meet someone’ when I became aware of being awake, yet still ‘resting’ on the couch. I distinctly heard someone coming down the stairs by me and knew from past experiences that I should remain quiet and unmoving to see what would happen in case this was another false awakening.
(I have learned that when you THINK you are awake and just lying there, and then hear or feel something different happening, you do NOT wake yourself up immediately. Remain quietly aware of what’s happening and just go with it – if it’s real life, you’ll know soon enough – but most times, it’s a false awakening for me)
The footsteps coming down the stairs were quick and ‘young’ sounding, and my feelings registered this as a young person (I think rationally it could possibly be my 18 year old daughter who is the youngest one around).
The young female (as it turns out) comes directly to me on the couch and I don’t move a muscle knowing I have to be patient to see what will happen. She bends at the waist and lays her head on my chest, and I realize she is much smaller than my daughter would be (maybe age 10-12?)
I feel only loving thoughts coming from her as we speak and felt her ‘hug’ me with her head on my chest. We are discussing something about a ‘game for ages 11-12’ (?). I was having difficulty understanding every word but the words were soothing, gentle and comforting, both hers and mine. I remember telling her something like “well, go ahead and we will figure out how to make it work”.
There was a dramatic change in this experience at this point when I next became aware of someone (a young person again) jumping up down the back of couch!! I felt it was another child, but cannot be certain if it was the same one or another. The jumping continued up and down, up and down and was getting to be rather annoying.
I remember saying ‘Stop Now!’ very firmly and rather loudly (at least I thought so) but the jumping continued. I repeated “STOP NOW!” even more firmly and the ‘person’ sat down on back of couch just above me, now blowing cold air on my face. I felt it was intentionally trying to annoy me, and I pushed against it with my ‘hands’ to make it stop. I remember I could actually ‘feel’ this energy presence in such a physical sense that I became just a little bit unnerved (twinge of fear) at the thought of what was happening.
(I do try to stay calm when faced with uncertain energy, however, for some reason, this one felt more irritating than usual and I feel I responded perhaps too ‘physical’ and emotionally than I should have.)
I said, “STOP NOW, it’s cold!” which made me think of being surrounded by warm white light. The energy faded with the white light and I woke up completely, not sure of what just happened.
In hindsight, I think maybe I didn’t handle it well by getting loud and physical, instead of talking and seeing what it was that she wanted. My instinct to stop the annoyance, after having such a wonderful interaction with the first child, maybe led me to a more ‘physical world’ emotional reaction, instead of staying with the calm, unemotional temperance that is required in the astral realm.
(I have learned that when you THINK you are awake and just lying there, and then hear or feel something different happening
The footsteps coming down the stairs were quick and ‘young’ sounding, and my feelings registered this as a young person (I think rationally it could possibly be my 18 year old daughter who is the youngest one around).
The young female (as it turns out) comes directly to me on the couch and I don’t move a muscle knowing I have to be patient to see what will happen. She bends at the waist and lays her head on my chest, and I realize she is much smaller than my daughter would be (maybe age 10-12?)
I feel only loving thoughts coming from her as we speak and felt her ‘hug’ me with her head on my chest. We are discussing something about a ‘game for ages 11-12’ (?). I was having difficulty understanding every word but the words were soothing, gentle and comforting, both hers and mine. I remember telling her something like “well, go ahead and we will figure out how to make it work”.
There was a dramatic change in this experience at this point when I next became aware of someone (a young person again) jumping up down the back of couch!! I felt it was another child, but cannot be certain if it was the same one or another. The jumping continued up and down, up and down and was getting to be rather annoying.
I remember saying ‘Stop Now!’ very firmly and rather loudly (at least I thought so) but the jumping continued. I repeated “STOP NOW!” even more firmly and the ‘person’ sat down on back of couch just above me, now blowing cold air on my face. I felt it was intentionally trying to annoy me, and I pushed against it with my ‘hands’ to make it stop. I remember I could actually ‘feel’ this energy presence in such a physical sense that I became just a little bit unnerved (twinge of fear) at the thought of what was happening.
(I do try to stay calm when faced with uncertain energy, however, for some reason, this one felt more irritating than usual and I feel I responded perhaps too ‘physical’ and emotionally than I should have.)
I said, “STOP NOW, it’s cold!” which made me think of being surrounded by warm white light. The energy faded with the white light and I woke up completely, not sure of what just happened.
In hindsight, I think maybe I didn’t handle it well by getting loud and physical, instead of talking and seeing what it was that she wanted. My instinct to stop the annoyance, after having such a wonderful interaction with the first child, maybe led me to a more ‘physical world’ emotional reaction, instead of staying with the calm, unemotional temperance that is required in the astral realm.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
66) Unintended Unusual OOBE in Near Physical + commentary
This was an interesting experience in an unusual sense in that I had NO intention of traveling OOB yet due to the fact that I moved to my ‘traveling couch’ toward morning (just to get some peace and quiet from the dual snoring of my husband and dog! lol ), I found myself ‘in the mode’ for getting out!
It was about 5am when I went downstairs to the couch, and after falling asleep, became aware that I was feeling those ‘movement’ sensations within my body and hand circles on my palms.
I felt a finger tickling the inside of my right ear, and first impression was it had to be my husband, however, enough consciousness was there to know it couldn’t be him! I believe the fact that I felt that ‘tangible’ sensation brought me to enough awareness to know I could now control this awareness for an exit. (It may have been help from my guides or whomever!) With these signals, I intentionally drifted back until I felt floating-type sensations, with my legs extended into the air! This is always my best signal that I’m ready to ‘roll out’, which I did!
However, in hindsight, I am amazed at where I rolled out! Despite being on the couch, I found myself standing at the side of my bed upstairs, with no obvious concern for this change in location. There was more of a ‘dream-like’ quality to this exit, and I’m not sure I can explain the difference; however, once I was out, I knew it was within my actual bedroom.
I could see fairly well, and exited through the sliding porch doors to the outdoors easily. I could see the cars in the driveway and my yard clearly, and found myself quickly shooting up high without consciously desiring it. Realizing I was ‘getting away’ from a good ‘near-physical’ encounter, I said to myself, “no! stay down low!” and floated gently back down to the driveway.
I remember telling myself as I moved that ‘this is actual physical objects’ I am seeing, and tried to take note of my surroundings. As I passed by a small cemetery that is nearby, I remember saying, ‘ok, right, that’s the wrought iron fence, that’s the right hill,’ and for some reason had a difficult time turning my head to the left to see down the road. Everything had an amber type glow about it, something I have never seen before.
At the end of the road, I felt satisfied that this was indeed ‘real’ life and that now I could go way up high to see what happens next. I move upwards , but found everything fading to black the higher I went.
I became aware again of being in bed (not really!) and just rolled out again easily. I moved out the door, and remember climbing up on the porch railing in order to ‘dive’ over the side of the upstairs porch. I had no fear jumping off the balcony, as I knew I was out, however, you can see that there is an ingrained conscious belief that follows us even in OOB. Why would I have needed to climb up and over the railing to dive off? (This all of course was reflected upon in hindsight, at the time, I didn’t think twice about it!)
This time, as soon as I jumped, I found myself outside a building, one that was familiar as it felt to be a previous home of sorts. There was some recall about looking inside the building and seeing a TV with some historical movie playing over and over, and I felt as though I had left the house with the TV on.
I’m on a long, long wooden porch of some kind, jumping up and down, and get the impression that it’s a stage of some kind. I remember meeting two individuals that gave me the impression of actors on this stage, but I don’t recall anything further about them.
I moved inside the building and felt as though I had become part of a movie, and somehow it felt as though it was one I had been in before! There were these two gangster type men who pulled up in a car in front of me as I’m looking through a doorway.
They are talking about wanting to have this closet that is next to me made into a doorway of some kind. I could see the doorway was there on my side already, and as I opened the door, I saw a deceased male inside, knowing that he was the one who had designed this closet and the gangsters had made certain that no one else would know how he did it.
They now see me and are coming toward me in the doorway. Oddly, one of them is in a wheelchair (!) but the OOB/LD ends there without further interaction as I become fully aware of being back on the couch. The familiarity of having been in that ‘movie’ before was very strong, yet I don’t recall it consciously.
So, there you have my OOB experience that I did not INTEND to have, yet does occur spontaneously at times. I was quite unusual in that I feel my consciousness did not recall that I was on the couch, so it put me back upstairs next to the bed when I exited. Also, there was the oxymoron of sorts in that I had no difficulty walking through the door to get outside and had no fear of diving off, yet I had to climb up and over the railing to do so!
As always, I am interested in anyone’s opinion or questions regarding this experience.
COMMENTARY:
I received some good insight regarding this experience and thought I'd share. I always try to write my experiences in a way that describes BOTH what I am doing and seeing, but also what I am 'feeling' as this will make it more personal and hopefully more helpful in my learning.
As your thoughts and feelings are the prevalent form of communication while OOB, it makes sense that you are to rely MORE upon what you feel about a situation you encounter than what you are actually seeing/doing.
I will tell you what I feel this could mean, but I could be way off mark. Since I felt this all was a repeat of a past experience, perhaps I need to take note as it may be something important I need to learn. This previous home could have been an allusion to a previous life, or past experience (historical movie was playing within the home). The stage is perhaps the fact I am being 'watched' and the actors I met were those who are 'acting' with me in this life stage.
The part where I was at a previous home (of sorts) was real in the sense that as I experienced all that I encountered, I had little doubt or questioning to myself as to what I was going to do. Somehow everything felt so familiar, and I had this innate drive to continue going in the direction I was going.
This is really tough to explain, but I have learned that you can't always stop and question everything that goes on because then your conscious mind will try to get involved and tell you that 'this can't be' or 'that isn't possible' when you KNOW that everything IS possible in this realm. You have to just 'go with the flow' and interact with whatever comes up so the process will continue. Too much conscious 'mind chatter' and questioning will stop the experience quickly.
It was 'real' enough for me to know that I was OOB, and it took enough mental effort just to try to make conscious note of what I was doing and seeing so that I could bring the information back once I woke.
In looking up dream symbolism, I see that "To dream that you come in contact with the mafia, indicates that you are experiencing some inner conflict and turmoil." (dreammoods.com) Or even "To dream that you are a member of a mafia, suggests that you are allowing others to manipulate you" - both of these are issues I am currently dealing with, so in a sense, this fits.
I realize the doorway to 'what they want' (closet) is on MY side, and I can open it therefore perhaps I am starting to take control of this situation. I'm not sure why I have to have a dead guy inside this closet, though, but perhaps this is some sort of symbolic ending for someone who has helped(?) me create this 'doorway'/opening.
With permission from 'analyst', I'd like to add his insight: i was amazed at some of the details, and feel their meaning is only something you may be able to hint at over the course of the next few weeks or months. to me, it sounds like an experience where your subconscious is telling you who you are, or how you currently react to situations in your life which may or may not be under your control. a closet is a notorious doorway into the mystery of the subconscious (i feel).... the dead male being the designer is paramount to this part of the dream, but only you can unlock what this may mean. part of me thinks this is something you are hiding from yourself.... and it is a sense of significance for me in that it is the writer being written, or the character being writer. it is the self-similarity of the universe on multiple scales. i like it.....
It was about 5am when I went downstairs to the couch, and after falling asleep, became aware that I was feeling those ‘movement’ sensations within my body and hand circles on my palms.
I felt a finger tickling the inside of my right ear, and first impression was it had to be my husband, however, enough consciousness was there to know it couldn’t be him! I believe the fact that I felt that ‘tangible’ sensation brought me to enough awareness to know I could now control this awareness for an exit. (It may have been help from my guides or whomever!) With these signals, I intentionally drifted back until I felt floating-type sensations, with my legs extended into the air! This is always my best signal that I’m ready to ‘roll out’, which I did!
However, in hindsight, I am amazed at where I rolled out! Despite being on the couch, I found myself standing at the side of my bed upstairs, with no obvious concern for this change in location. There was more of a ‘dream-like’ quality to this exit, and I’m not sure I can explain the difference; however, once I was out, I knew it was within my actual bedroom.
I could see fairly well, and exited through the sliding porch doors to the outdoors easily. I could see the cars in the driveway and my yard clearly, and found myself quickly shooting up high without consciously desiring it. Realizing I was ‘getting away’ from a good ‘near-physical’ encounter, I said to myself, “no! stay down low!” and floated gently back down to the driveway.
I remember telling myself as I moved that ‘this is actual physical objects’ I am seeing, and tried to take note of my surroundings. As I passed by a small cemetery that is nearby, I remember saying, ‘ok, right, that’s the wrought iron fence, that’s the right hill,’ and for some reason had a difficult time turning my head to the left to see down the road. Everything had an amber type glow about it, something I have never seen before.
At the end of the road, I felt satisfied that this was indeed ‘real’ life and that now I could go way up high to see what happens next. I move upwards , but found everything fading to black the higher I went.
I became aware again of being in bed (not really!) and just rolled out again easily. I moved out the door, and remember climbing up on the porch railing in order to ‘dive’ over the side of the upstairs porch. I had no fear jumping off the balcony, as I knew I was out, however, you can see that there is an ingrained conscious belief that follows us even in OOB. Why would I have needed to climb up and over the railing to dive off? (This all of course was reflected upon in hindsight, at the time, I didn’t think twice about it!)
This time, as soon as I jumped, I found myself outside a building, one that was familiar as it felt to be a previous home of sorts. There was some recall about looking inside the building and seeing a TV with some historical movie playing over and over, and I felt as though I had left the house with the TV on.
I’m on a long, long wooden porch of some kind, jumping up and down, and get the impression that it’s a stage of some kind. I remember meeting two individuals that gave me the impression of actors on this stage, but I don’t recall anything further about them.
I moved inside the building and felt as though I had become part of a movie, and somehow it felt as though it was one I had been in before! There were these two gangster type men who pulled up in a car in front of me as I’m looking through a doorway.
They are talking about wanting to have this closet that is next to me made into a doorway of some kind. I could see the doorway was there on my side already, and as I opened the door, I saw a deceased male inside, knowing that he was the one who had designed this closet and the gangsters had made certain that no one else would know how he did it.
They now see me and are coming toward me in the doorway. Oddly, one of them is in a wheelchair (!) but the OOB/LD ends there without further interaction as I become fully aware of being back on the couch. The familiarity of having been in that ‘movie’ before was very strong, yet I don’t recall it consciously.
So, there you have my OOB experience that I did not INTEND to have, yet does occur spontaneously at times. I was quite unusual in that I feel my consciousness did not recall that I was on the couch, so it put me back upstairs next to the bed when I exited. Also, there was the oxymoron of sorts in that I had no difficulty walking through the door to get outside and had no fear of diving off, yet I had to climb up and over the railing to do so!
As always, I am interested in anyone’s opinion or questions regarding this experience.
COMMENTARY:
I received some good insight regarding this experience and thought I'd share. I always try to write my experiences in a way that describes BOTH what I am doing and seeing, but also what I am 'feeling' as this will make it more personal and hopefully more helpful in my learning.
As your thoughts and feelings are the prevalent form of communication while OOB, it makes sense that you are to rely MORE upon what you feel about a situation you encounter than what you are actually seeing/doing.
I will tell you what I feel this could mean, but I could be way off mark. Since I felt this all was a repeat of a past experience, perhaps I need to take note as it may be something important I need to learn. This previous home could have been an allusion to a previous life, or past experience (historical movie was playing within the home). The stage is perhaps the fact I am being 'watched' and the actors I met were those who are 'acting' with me in this life stage.
The part where I was at a previous home (of sorts) was real in the sense that as I experienced all that I encountered, I had little doubt or questioning to myself as to what I was going to do. Somehow everything felt so familiar, and I had this innate drive to continue going in the direction I was going.
This is really tough to explain, but I have learned that you can't always stop and question everything that goes on because then your conscious mind will try to get involved and tell you that 'this can't be' or 'that isn't possible' when you KNOW that everything IS possible in this realm. You have to just 'go with the flow' and interact with whatever comes up so the process will continue. Too much conscious 'mind chatter' and questioning will stop the experience quickly.
It was 'real' enough for me to know that I was OOB, and it took enough mental effort just to try to make conscious note of what I was doing and seeing so that I could bring the information back once I woke.
In looking up dream symbolism, I see that "To dream that you come in contact with the mafia, indicates that you are experiencing some inner conflict and turmoil." (dreammoods.com) Or even "To dream that you are a member of a mafia, suggests that you are allowing others to manipulate you" - both of these are issues I am currently dealing with, so in a sense, this fits.
I realize the doorway to 'what they want' (closet) is on MY side, and I can open it therefore perhaps I am starting to take control of this situation. I'm not sure why I have to have a dead guy inside this closet, though, but perhaps this is some sort of symbolic ending for someone who has helped(?) me create this 'doorway'/opening.
With permission from 'analyst', I'd like to add his insight: i was amazed at some of the details, and feel their meaning is only something you may be able to hint at over the course of the next few weeks or months. to me, it sounds like an experience where your subconscious is telling you who you are, or how you currently react to situations in your life which may or may not be under your control. a closet is a notorious doorway into the mystery of the subconscious (i feel).... the dead male being the designer is paramount to this part of the dream, but only you can unlock what this may mean. part of me thinks this is something you are hiding from yourself.... and it is a sense of significance for me in that it is the writer being written, or the character being writer. it is the self-similarity of the universe on multiple scales. i like it.....
Saturday, July 26, 2008
65) Multiple Exits - Pet Reunion
I went to my ‘traveling’ couch about 3am as per my routine, in the hopes that I could finally get settled enough to do some traveling again. I have been so busy lately, that I have not had the time or energy to focus my intent properly to get OOB.
This time, though, I knew I had to be sure I was not losing my abilities since it seemed to be such a long time since my last conscious experience. So, I’m on the couch, with my black lab, Buddy, (who follows me everywhere!) sleeping on floor next to me.
I became aware of floating sensation, a signal I am very familiar with, and I get excited! Whether it was excitement, with eager anticipation and premature roll out or just plain lack of ‘practice’, the first OOB roll out was very difficult! I remember feeling very, very strong pulling energy, fighting for every inch of separation, until exasperated and defiant that I was NOT going to lose this chance, I very strongly intended ‘TO THE DOOR!’ which made full separation and movement to the front door.
Once out of the front door, I remembered I wanted to do ‘Inward Now’ to give me a chance to learn more about myself. I had the usual feeling of blackness and movement, then find myself in a room, with an overall feeling of ‘blue color’ (male?) and birthday party. The room was sparse, with objects lying around (no recall as to what though).
I remember heading up some carpeted narrow stairs to a bedroom on the right. As I enter, I see two twin beds on the left with a sink with water running (something in sink?) on the right. I turned farther to the left to see rest of room, and could see a room (bathroom?) with the light on.
I felt someone was in there, and as I look down I see an infant (few months old - girl - dark hair) sleeping on floor. There was a woman there I ‘felt’ to be someone similar to a coworker, yet may only have been someone who looked a bit like her. There was no interaction that I can recall except that she was happy despite having to live in such cramped, but homey, quarters.
I was aware enough to know that I had to start ‘memorizing’ words to remember my traveling as there was lots of little things I did (feeling of relearning?) and the ability to remember was one of them. Again, I know I had the recorder in my hand and was talking into it, yet upon fully waking realized I hadn’t moved and the recorder was still on my nightstand. So much may have been lost due to the fact that I was in a ’false awakening’ and I thought it was already recorded!
Again, after recording for real, I settle back and realize I’m again in full vibrations, knowing I could just roll out again.
It was much easier to separate, and I decide to go out the side door this time, passing by my sleeping dog. As I passed, I heard him (as usual) get up to accompany me! (He has accompanied me previously on my OOBE’s as you can read in the blog)
I take notice to feel that ‘tingly’ change in texture as I pass through the side door, with Buddy at my heels. Once outside on the deck, I am trying desperately to clear up my vision, as it was so dark! I remember saying "clarity now!" and “I can see now!” yet nothing worked. So as usual when I’m frustrated, I figure I’d just jump up and take off without regard for where I was going.
As I jump, I feel Buddy clamp down (bite, but no pain) on my left hand yet give no thought to the fact that maybe I should stay here. (As I did before in another experience when my dog tried to stop me by clamping onto my hand.) I turn, say to him, ‘aw, come on Buddy, come with me!’ and I pick him up, curl him under my arm (this would be no small feat in real life!! lol) then jumped.
I knew I wanted to go up, but found myself having difficulty in flying. I try to do my flips and fun stuff, but was awkward and slow. (I am now thinking that this may have been due to the fact that I had my dog with me, and his fear – that I know he had in a previous OOB) might be giving me the difficulties. I keep trying, saying, ‘let’s go up, go up into space’ and I can still see I’m not moving well, as the tops of the trees remain above me.
Rather frustrated, yet defiant that I can do this, I say “I’m a rocket!” and use the imagery of shooting up into space! I now feel the shooting up, anticipating seeing galaxies and the beauty of outer space (I remember thinking how wonderful it was previously). Nothing appeared, and I once again found myself back on the couch.
This time, the floating feeling tells me I’m ready to roll out, which I do easily. I repeat the same sequence going to the side door, hearing Buddy once again accompany me, and feeling that texture change as I pass through the door.
Once again, as I try to jump off the deck, Buddy takes my left hand in his mouth, and I pick him up. This time, however, I had second thoughts of taking off (I remembered the last experience) and said maybe I’m supposed to stay down low here. So I float off the deck, landed on black top area, which appeared to be part of a path with a park-like feeling to it.
Buddy is at my side now, and I was so surprised to see a little dog trotting up to us! It was a neighbor’s dog that Buddy used to play with who died a few years ago! She greets Buddy nose to nose, as I pet them both saying, “well, Buddy, look who’s here!!”
I wake shortly thereafter and record all I can recall. I know in terms of ‘wow’ experiences this may not be one, however, I am satisfied that I still have the ability to get OOB and in this case, may have helped my older dog also realize that his own friends are still around to visit!
This time, though, I knew I had to be sure I was not losing my abilities since it seemed to be such a long time since my last conscious experience. So, I’m on the couch, with my black lab, Buddy, (who follows me everywhere!) sleeping on floor next to me.
I became aware of floating sensation, a signal I am very familiar with, and I get excited! Whether it was excitement, with eager anticipation and premature roll out or just plain lack of ‘practice’, the first OOB roll out was very difficult! I remember feeling very, very strong pulling energy, fighting for every inch of separation, until exasperated and defiant that I was NOT going to lose this chance, I very strongly intended ‘TO THE DOOR!’ which made full separation and movement to the front door.
Once out of the front door, I remembered I wanted to do ‘Inward Now’ to give me a chance to learn more about myself. I had the usual feeling of blackness and movement, then find myself in a room, with an overall feeling of ‘blue color’ (male?) and birthday party. The room was sparse, with objects lying around (no recall as to what though).
I remember heading up some carpeted narrow stairs to a bedroom on the right. As I enter, I see two twin beds on the left with a sink with water running (something in sink?) on the right. I turned farther to the left to see rest of room, and could see a room (bathroom?) with the light on.
I felt someone was in there, and as I look down I see an infant (few months old - girl - dark hair) sleeping on floor. There was a woman there I ‘felt’ to be someone similar to a coworker, yet may only have been someone who looked a bit like her. There was no interaction that I can recall except that she was happy despite having to live in such cramped, but homey, quarters.
I was aware enough to know that I had to start ‘memorizing’ words to remember my traveling as there was lots of little things I did (feeling of relearning?) and the ability to remember was one of them. Again, I know I had the recorder in my hand and was talking into it, yet upon fully waking realized I hadn’t moved and the recorder was still on my nightstand. So much may have been lost due to the fact that I was in a ’false awakening’ and I thought it was already recorded!
Again, after recording for real, I settle back and realize I’m again in full vibrations, knowing I could just roll out again.
It was much easier to separate, and I decide to go out the side door this time, passing by my sleeping dog. As I passed, I heard him (as usual) get up to accompany me! (He has accompanied me previously on my OOBE’s as you can read in the blog)
I take notice to feel that ‘tingly’ change in texture as I pass through the side door, with Buddy at my heels. Once outside on the deck, I am trying desperately to clear up my vision, as it was so dark! I remember saying "clarity now!" and “I can see now!” yet nothing worked. So as usual when I’m frustrated, I figure I’d just jump up and take off without regard for where I was going.
As I jump, I feel Buddy clamp down (bite, but no pain) on my left hand yet give no thought to the fact that maybe I should stay here. (As I did before in another experience when my dog tried to stop me by clamping onto my hand.) I turn, say to him, ‘aw, come on Buddy, come with me!’ and I pick him up, curl him under my arm (this would be no small feat in real life!! lol) then jumped.
I knew I wanted to go up, but found myself having difficulty in flying. I try to do my flips and fun stuff, but was awkward and slow. (I am now thinking that this may have been due to the fact that I had my dog with me, and his fear – that I know he had in a previous OOB) might be giving me the difficulties. I keep trying, saying, ‘let’s go up, go up into space’ and I can still see I’m not moving well, as the tops of the trees remain above me.
Rather frustrated, yet defiant that I can do this, I say “I’m a rocket!” and use the imagery of shooting up into space! I now feel the shooting up, anticipating seeing galaxies and the beauty of outer space (I remember thinking how wonderful it was previously). Nothing appeared, and I once again found myself back on the couch.
This time, the floating feeling tells me I’m ready to roll out, which I do easily. I repeat the same sequence going to the side door, hearing Buddy once again accompany me, and feeling that texture change as I pass through the door.
Once again, as I try to jump off the deck, Buddy takes my left hand in his mouth, and I pick him up. This time, however, I had second thoughts of taking off (I remembered the last experience) and said maybe I’m supposed to stay down low here. So I float off the deck, landed on black top area, which appeared to be part of a path with a park-like feeling to it.
Buddy is at my side now, and I was so surprised to see a little dog trotting up to us! It was a neighbor’s dog that Buddy used to play with who died a few years ago! She greets Buddy nose to nose, as I pet them both saying, “well, Buddy, look who’s here!!”
I wake shortly thereafter and record all I can recall. I know in terms of ‘wow’ experiences this may not be one, however, I am satisfied that I still have the ability to get OOB and in this case, may have helped my older dog also realize that his own friends are still around to visit!
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
64a) Purpose Value and Usefulness for Traveling OOB
I was just recently asked a very good question that I thought I'd share my response to.
"While I'm very open to any experience that comes along, I wonder what would be the purpose, value, usefulness, benefit to me to actually seek OBE?"
I am sure there are many out there who ask the same thing, and for every individual it will have a different answer. You alone will have to decide what it is that drives you to seek this ability and for what reason.
I will share my belief as to the purpose, value, usefulness and benefit of these OOB experiences as they relate to me.
Initially, the excitement of getting 'out' was sufficient reason to seek this experience. I have always understood that we are more than just physical beings, having a spiritual energy inside that drives our consciousness from within. Somehow, even though I understood this, there was always that tiniest degree of human self-doubt that persisted.
So, with the OOBEs and that feeling of 'separation' of spirit, (yet not fully separate), validated this belief immensely. There is no doubt at all now, and it is such peace of mind and comfort to absolutely, positively KNOW that we will continue on after death and in an even higher level of performance than we currently have now.
After a few times out, I realized I was always learning something new - whether it was how to handle moving through objects, interacting with other spirits, or even just 'thought control' (dual consciousness, thoughts in action, etc). I was amazed at the levels of learning I was accomplishing, and every time I thought I just couldn't do more, more was shown to me.
I truly believe we are absolutely limitless in our abilities, yet we are also very much restricted by our physical 'minds' to understand the full capabilites we have. There are no restrictions once OOB, and for the physical mind to comprehend this, it takes baby steps to learn. This learning of new, unimaginable experiences is currently my reason and purpose for seeking these OOB experiences.
Every experience adds to my learning, and the more I seek, the more I find. Putting constraints on your efforts by limiting your reasons for doing this will only hinder your learning - you need to be open to any and all experiences.
I love to use the 'Inward Now' affirmation as William Buhlman suggests, as it has always taken me to areas where I personally need to learn something. Once you realize the only person you have any control over at all is yourself, then you can take an interest in making your 'self' the best it can be.
For me, it is the constant learning and experiencing of new events, whether it is in 'real life' or in 'spirit'/astral that drives my 'self'. I will never stop learning or seeking to improve myself in any way that I can.
As my personal motto states, 'the more we learn, the more limitless the universe becomes!'
I hope this answers your question. I appreciate you giving me the chance to explain my reasons for seeking these experiences.
"While I'm very open to any experience that comes along, I wonder what would be the purpose, value, usefulness, benefit to me to actually seek OBE?"
I am sure there are many out there who ask the same thing, and for every individual it will have a different answer. You alone will have to decide what it is that drives you to seek this ability and for what reason.
I will share my belief as to the purpose, value, usefulness and benefit of these OOB experiences as they relate to me.
Initially, the excitement of getting 'out' was sufficient reason to seek this experience. I have always understood that we are more than just physical beings, having a spiritual energy inside that drives our consciousness from within. Somehow, even though I understood this, there was always that tiniest degree of human self-doubt that persisted.
So, with the OOBEs and that feeling of 'separation' of spirit, (yet not fully separate), validated this belief immensely. There is no doubt at all now, and it is such peace of mind and comfort to absolutely, positively KNOW that we will continue on after death and in an even higher level of performance than we currently have now.
After a few times out, I realized I was always learning something new - whether it was how to handle moving through objects, interacting with other spirits, or even just 'thought control' (dual consciousness, thoughts in action, etc). I was amazed at the levels of learning I was accomplishing, and every time I thought I just couldn't do more, more was shown to me.
I truly believe we are absolutely limitless in our abilities, yet we are also very much restricted by our physical 'minds' to understand the full capabilites we have. There are no restrictions once OOB, and for the physical mind to comprehend this, it takes baby steps to learn. This learning of new, unimaginable experiences is currently my reason and purpose for seeking these OOB experiences.
Every experience adds to my learning, and the more I seek, the more I find. Putting constraints on your efforts by limiting your reasons for doing this will only hinder your learning - you need to be open to any and all experiences.
I love to use the 'Inward Now' affirmation as William Buhlman suggests, as it has always taken me to areas where I personally need to learn something. Once you realize the only person you have any control over at all is yourself, then you can take an interest in making your 'self' the best it can be.
For me, it is the constant learning and experiencing of new events, whether it is in 'real life' or in 'spirit'/astral that drives my 'self'. I will never stop learning or seeking to improve myself in any way that I can.
As my personal motto states, 'the more we learn, the more limitless the universe becomes!'
I hope this answers your question. I appreciate you giving me the chance to explain my reasons for seeking these experiences.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Real Life Always Takes Over
I thought I'd post a quick note here to let everyone know that this time in my life is extremely full of 'real life' events that take a lot of physical and psychological energy away from me.
With this, there is always the lessening of 'travel', and more personal type issues being shown to me in my dreams that I don't feel would benefit my visitors at this time.
I do wish to thank everyone for taking the time to check in on my blog and read my posts - Some of you have contacted me and I am so pleased to help as I can with your own experiences!
Keep the emails coming if you have questions - it does help to remind me that there is SO much more to our lives than just the 'real life' events coming at me!! lol
I wish I was able to know who it is that visits my blog and share in the tremendous amount of knowledge that must be out there! For now, I'm happy to see that the counter at the bottom of the page keeps going up - so that tells me SOMEONE is reading my posts!! lol
Thanks to everyone who visits for their time....
-Karen
With this, there is always the lessening of 'travel', and more personal type issues being shown to me in my dreams that I don't feel would benefit my visitors at this time.
I do wish to thank everyone for taking the time to check in on my blog and read my posts - Some of you have contacted me and I am so pleased to help as I can with your own experiences!
Keep the emails coming if you have questions - it does help to remind me that there is SO much more to our lives than just the 'real life' events coming at me!! lol
I wish I was able to know who it is that visits my blog and share in the tremendous amount of knowledge that must be out there! For now, I'm happy to see that the counter at the bottom of the page keeps going up - so that tells me SOMEONE is reading my posts!! lol
Thanks to everyone who visits for their time....
-Karen
Saturday, July 5, 2008
64) False Awakening with Simultaneous Consciousness & Woman in Bedroom
7/05/08 (Part 3 of previous experience)
I thought I was awake as I heard a pager or cellphone (set on vibrate) going off in the other room. This brought me to awareness, but despite my thinking I was completely awake, it was to be a false awakening.
I now hear birds outside my bedroom window (as I do often in the AM), but this time I’m talking to the one bird that loudly responding back. I’m trying to convince the bird to come here because I need it to ‘translate’ for me! I remember raising my right hand up, as if making a perch for it to come sit on.
At the same time, I am also aware there is a woman at the base of the bed, talking and talking, not making much sense, as I am not really paying attention to her words.
I remember I had a phone in one hand and my recorder in the other, and began moving them so that the recorder was near my heart in my left hand and the phone was further down on the bed.
So now I thought, ‘wait, I really wasn’t awake with the bird because I wouldn’t have had my recorder so far away from me!’ (First ‘false awakening’ realization)
I am still listening to the woman continue to talk and talk, not understanding her because I’m paying her no attention. (Odd that I’m not wondering why this woman is in my bedroom! lol)
I am aware that my husband gets up out of bed (for real!) at this point while she is still talking to me!
She says something like, ‘well I’ll just have to wait here’ (until I gave her some attention?) I was surprised to feel hands on my toes, moving them, to tell me where she was. I could feel the solid recorder in left hand, holding something else very solid feeling in my right hand.
At that point, my husband comes out of the bathroom, and I become fully awake – realizing there is nothing in my hands, my feet were no longer being touched, and no strange woman standing at the base of the bed! (Second ‘false awakening’ realization)
This was a most unusual experience for me, to have part consciousness of ‘real life’ happenings along with my altered state of consciousness still being aware of other realms and people. I’m not sure if I again missed an opportunity to help someone, or if I was just being shown another experience I have never had before.
I thought I was awake as I heard a pager or cellphone (set on vibrate) going off in the other room. This brought me to awareness, but despite my thinking I was completely awake, it was to be a false awakening.
I now hear birds outside my bedroom window (as I do often in the AM), but this time I’m talking to the one bird that loudly responding back. I’m trying to convince the bird to come here because I need it to ‘translate’ for me! I remember raising my right hand up, as if making a perch for it to come sit on.
At the same time, I am also aware there is a woman at the base of the bed, talking and talking, not making much sense, as I am not really paying attention to her words.
I remember I had a phone in one hand and my recorder in the other, and began moving them so that the recorder was near my heart in my left hand and the phone was further down on the bed.
So now I thought, ‘wait, I really wasn’t awake with the bird because I wouldn’t have had my recorder so far away from me!’ (First ‘false awakening’ realization)
I am still listening to the woman continue to talk and talk, not understanding her because I’m paying her no attention. (Odd that I’m not wondering why this woman is in my bedroom! lol)
I am aware that my husband gets up out of bed (for real!) at this point while she is still talking to me!
She says something like, ‘well I’ll just have to wait here’ (until I gave her some attention?) I was surprised to feel hands on my toes, moving them, to tell me where she was. I could feel the solid recorder in left hand, holding something else very solid feeling in my right hand.
At that point, my husband comes out of the bathroom, and I become fully awake – realizing there is nothing in my hands, my feet were no longer being touched, and no strange woman standing at the base of the bed! (Second ‘false awakening’ realization)
This was a most unusual experience for me, to have part consciousness of ‘real life’ happenings along with my altered state of consciousness still being aware of other realms and people. I’m not sure if I again missed an opportunity to help someone, or if I was just being shown another experience I have never had before.
63) Words of Wisdom - Our Experiences Here
7/05/08 Part 2 of previous experience
After coming back to bed, (no longer on my ‘traveling couch’ lol), I feel asleep but became aware of being lucid within an experience. I was being shown this poster, a beautiful sunset-colored design (red-orange-yellow) that had a beautiful short poem on it that I was so in awe of.
For the life of me I cannot remember much of the poem!! The only words I recall was the rhyming words of ‘fast’ and ‘past’ on two lines, with single word lines near the end that seems to mean a thousand words in one. (This is so difficult to describe accurately.)
What I did get out of it was the overall meaning that was intended, and I put it into my own words as I slowly became more conscious. The words that I recorded were these:
Don’t ever wonder (question) whether God/Oneness exists, that He does not exist when things don’t go the way you would like them to.
You are here to do the experiencing for Him/Us, as we are all pieces of the same Oneness. Whatever we do, experience, or learn, we do, experience, or learn as a part of Ourselves.
How would He know what it is that you would want or experience when you get here, as it is your thoughts and desires that would drive and shape the experiences for Him/Us.
This is a bit more belief-oriented than I usually share on my blog; however, I do feel it is an important bit of advice to share. This strongly fits my belief that anything we do to help even one other person, we do for ourselves. Thoughts ARE things (even here in the physical world), and it is your intention by thought (by focusing on the end result desired, not how it will happen) that brings you to what you desire and experience.
It could be this was just a personal message for me, although I have never questioned the existence of the Universal One. I know, because I am a part of it and there is SO much more to this life and our universe than our conscious physical mind can comprehend. Stay open to any and all possibilities, as our universe is truly limitless – it is only our own beliefs and attitudes that limit the possibilities.
After coming back to bed, (no longer on my ‘traveling couch’ lol), I feel asleep but became aware of being lucid within an experience. I was being shown this poster, a beautiful sunset-colored design (red-orange-yellow) that had a beautiful short poem on it that I was so in awe of.
For the life of me I cannot remember much of the poem!! The only words I recall was the rhyming words of ‘fast’ and ‘past’ on two lines, with single word lines near the end that seems to mean a thousand words in one. (This is so difficult to describe accurately.)
What I did get out of it was the overall meaning that was intended, and I put it into my own words as I slowly became more conscious. The words that I recorded were these:
Don’t ever wonder (question) whether God/Oneness exists, that He does not exist when things don’t go the way you would like them to.
You are here to do the experiencing for Him/Us, as we are all pieces of the same Oneness. Whatever we do, experience, or learn, we do, experience, or learn as a part of Ourselves.
How would He know what it is that you would want or experience when you get here, as it is your thoughts and desires that would drive and shape the experiences for Him/Us.
This is a bit more belief-oriented than I usually share on my blog; however, I do feel it is an important bit of advice to share. This strongly fits my belief that anything we do to help even one other person, we do for ourselves. Thoughts ARE things (even here in the physical world), and it is your intention by thought (by focusing on the end result desired, not how it will happen) that brings you to what you desire and experience.
It could be this was just a personal message for me, although I have never questioned the existence of the Universal One. I know, because I am a part of it and there is SO much more to this life and our universe than our conscious physical mind can comprehend. Stay open to any and all possibilities, as our universe is truly limitless – it is only our own beliefs and attitudes that limit the possibilities.
62) Solar System Visit & Spies
7/05/08
I realize I have to start labeling my experiences by what I have encountered so that upon review at a later date, I can easily find that which I can looking for! (especially with these multiple visits in one night!)
I remember becoming aware I was in full vibrations, and excited to think I was about to get out. As it has been a while for me, I remember I actually had to ‘calm’ my emotions to prevent disrupting the process.
Still feeling the vibrations, steady and strong, I became (again) impatient with the process (that’s me! lol) and just decided to roll out and stand up. I felt pulling at my head level, as if I wasn’t completely separated (probably because of my impatience!), yet was determined to do so and remember thinking, “I’m out!!”, and then felt the full separation.
I said ‘to the door!’ and found myself easily passing through my front door and out into the yard. I recall there was darkness again (common for first separation) and had to affirm ‘clarity now!’ twice before I was able to see clearly.
I recall I was amazed (again) at my clear, rational thinking I was able to do while out of body. Many times before, once I am out, I just seem ‘programmed’ to do things without thinking, but now the last few experiences I have been ‘allowed’ to think for myself and remember what I consciously wanted to recall once out.
I do feel that this is an achievement for me, as this process of being able to ‘know’ that thoughts are things so quickly in the astral environment, that once you learn control of your ‘conscious thoughts’ while out of body, then you are allowed to do so.
Anyway, I know I am out, and of course, I also knew that I had to do my usual flying and zooming to just enjoy that freedom, which I did. I was clearly thinking enough to ‘know’ however, that I had plans to ‘help someone’ this time out, so I didn’t spend much time enjoying myself.
So now I’m ready to ‘work’ and I affirm ‘Inward now!’ as I do a little spin to the left as I pick up my feet. I experience the most wonderful sensation of floating and moving that I have ever felt after affirming this. Usually it’s a dark tunnel, falling backward sensation, but this time I was softly floating through so many swirls and ‘layers’ of colors and music!! I particularly listened to the different notes playing, trying to impress the sounds within me so I could recall their immense beauty upon awakening.
At this point, I am shown this HUGE ball of white light, so bright it was difficult to look at! It was as if I was watching an explosion of sorts (at least that’s how it registered) and then it condensed into these millions and billions of tiny white sparkles. I was aware I was still traveling, faster than I have ever experienced, toward these immense sparkles of white light.
I watched as one area condensed even further into a more ‘solid’ appearance, and took the form of a solar system, with many planets circling the center white light. The impression I had was that I was watching the ‘birth’ of a solar system, all the while coming closer and closer to one specific planet within a specific solar system at a speed I have never experienced before. I had absolutely no fear, just total awe at what I was experiencing.
I was able to see the surface of this planet, and knew it was nothing I could even relate to. There were large neutral colored grid-like areas on the surface, giving the impression of buildings or sections. I was only allowed to get within a few feet of the surface, and was totally astounded as I watched the inhabitants go about their lives.
The most unusual aspect here were the inhabitants who appeared to be one-dimensional and of a ‘cartoon-like’ shape, with very little ‘substance’ to their bodies. I can still picture these people, (opaque, whitish, ‘flat’, and non-specific in shape), but that is the best I can describe them. I knew I was not allowed to interact with them, but did enjoy seeing this unusual environment. (Most likely the forms of these inhabitants were not easily applied to my conscious mind’s acceptance, therefore the best it could relate them to would be a ‘cartoon-like’ appearance.)
I then faded back to awareness on the couch, but also knew that I did not get to ‘help someone’ as I requested and was determined to continue on with an experience. At some point, I was aware I was pressing down firmly with my feet, and upon realizing I was doing that, just relaxed them. Immediately they floated up, signaling I was ready to go OOB.
Once again, I rolled out before I could fully awaken and found myself ‘to the door!’ and then outside. I flew up to the roof of my house, and was surprised to hear a herd of deer running past my house, as if frightened by something.
I watch as a few ran to one side, and more ran to the other side where they were cornered. Wondering what could have caused this ‘stampede’, I then heard voices below the area where I was on the roof. I jumped down to where they were to listen in, and found myself immediately being ‘spoken’ to as if I was a member of their group. (I recall I was surprised I was able to be seen – yet went along with what was happening – I now think I may have actually entered/become one of the people below.)
I was directly told, “You need to get the copy of the ID card on (name?)”, getting the feeling like I was to be a ‘spy’ of sorts in retrieving this information from another member they were suspicious of. I asked, “Why do I need to get a copy of the ID card?” and was given such a look from the members as if they were amazed that I would even ask such a thing! I just didn’t pursue the questioning further and accepted this gadget they handed me. It looked as if it was part magnifying glass and electronic scanner of sorts.
I had the knowing that it was to be my job to get friendly enough with the intended person to hand me his ID card so that I could ‘scan’ it for the information it held. (My impression again was that this ID card held much more information about the individual than I could even imagine and it was that ‘other’ information that they needed.)
Playing with this gadget, I remember holding it up to the moonlight (as you can do with sunlight) to focus the light into a small intense white light. (I thought that was cool it could do that, so I played with it for a while… but it also gave me the recall that it was nighttime this was occurring.)
I hear someone coming from the other side of my house, and know that it is someone who is part of our ‘group’ and he shouts a friendly hello to me as we recognize each other. (I had the feeling that this individual may have been the one I was supposed to copy the ID card from.) He was telling me about a party he was at (another friend of ours) where the female was celebrating her 42nd birthday, and I recall joking and laughing, “well, I wish I could celebrate that age again!” indicating that I was much older than 42 in that experience.
Unfortunately, I faded back to awareness, and quickly did my one-word associations to help in my recall of this two-part OOBE. I awoke and recorded these experiences, and went back upstairs to bed.
I had two other episodes of lucid awareness and false awakening this same morning, but I will continue them on in another post on the blog. Stand by for more!
I realize I have to start labeling my experiences by what I have encountered so that upon review at a later date, I can easily find that which I can looking for! (especially with these multiple visits in one night!)
I remember becoming aware I was in full vibrations, and excited to think I was about to get out. As it has been a while for me, I remember I actually had to ‘calm’ my emotions to prevent disrupting the process.
Still feeling the vibrations, steady and strong, I became (again) impatient with the process (that’s me! lol) and just decided to roll out and stand up. I felt pulling at my head level, as if I wasn’t completely separated (probably because of my impatience!), yet was determined to do so and remember thinking, “I’m out!!”, and then felt the full separation.
I said ‘to the door!’ and found myself easily passing through my front door and out into the yard. I recall there was darkness again (common for first separation) and had to affirm ‘clarity now!’ twice before I was able to see clearly.
I recall I was amazed (again) at my clear, rational thinking I was able to do while out of body. Many times before, once I am out, I just seem ‘programmed’ to do things without thinking, but now the last few experiences I have been ‘allowed’ to think for myself and remember what I consciously wanted to recall once out.
I do feel that this is an achievement for me, as this process of being able to ‘know’ that thoughts are things so quickly in the astral environment, that once you learn control of your ‘conscious thoughts’ while out of body, then you are allowed to do so.
Anyway, I know I am out, and of course, I also knew that I had to do my usual flying and zooming to just enjoy that freedom, which I did. I was clearly thinking enough to ‘know’ however, that I had plans to ‘help someone’ this time out, so I didn’t spend much time enjoying myself.
So now I’m ready to ‘work’ and I affirm ‘Inward now!’ as I do a little spin to the left as I pick up my feet. I experience the most wonderful sensation of floating and moving that I have ever felt after affirming this. Usually it’s a dark tunnel, falling backward sensation, but this time I was softly floating through so many swirls and ‘layers’ of colors and music!! I particularly listened to the different notes playing, trying to impress the sounds within me so I could recall their immense beauty upon awakening.
At this point, I am shown this HUGE ball of white light, so bright it was difficult to look at! It was as if I was watching an explosion of sorts (at least that’s how it registered) and then it condensed into these millions and billions of tiny white sparkles. I was aware I was still traveling, faster than I have ever experienced, toward these immense sparkles of white light.
I watched as one area condensed even further into a more ‘solid’ appearance, and took the form of a solar system, with many planets circling the center white light. The impression I had was that I was watching the ‘birth’ of a solar system, all the while coming closer and closer to one specific planet within a specific solar system at a speed I have never experienced before. I had absolutely no fear, just total awe at what I was experiencing.
I was able to see the surface of this planet, and knew it was nothing I could even relate to. There were large neutral colored grid-like areas on the surface, giving the impression of buildings or sections. I was only allowed to get within a few feet of the surface, and was totally astounded as I watched the inhabitants go about their lives.
The most unusual aspect here were the inhabitants who appeared to be one-dimensional and of a ‘cartoon-like’ shape, with very little ‘substance’ to their bodies. I can still picture these people, (opaque, whitish, ‘flat’, and non-specific in shape), but that is the best I can describe them. I knew I was not allowed to interact with them, but did enjoy seeing this unusual environment. (Most likely the forms of these inhabitants were not easily applied to my conscious mind’s acceptance, therefore the best it could relate them to would be a ‘cartoon-like’ appearance.)
I then faded back to awareness on the couch, but also knew that I did not get to ‘help someone’ as I requested and was determined to continue on with an experience. At some point, I was aware I was pressing down firmly with my feet, and upon realizing I was doing that, just relaxed them. Immediately they floated up, signaling I was ready to go OOB.
Once again, I rolled out before I could fully awaken and found myself ‘to the door!’ and then outside. I flew up to the roof of my house, and was surprised to hear a herd of deer running past my house, as if frightened by something.
I watch as a few ran to one side, and more ran to the other side where they were cornered. Wondering what could have caused this ‘stampede’, I then heard voices below the area where I was on the roof. I jumped down to where they were to listen in, and found myself immediately being ‘spoken’ to as if I was a member of their group. (I recall I was surprised I was able to be seen – yet went along with what was happening – I now think I may have actually entered/become one of the people below.)
I was directly told, “You need to get the copy of the ID card on (name?)
I had the knowing that it was to be my job to get friendly enough with the intended person to hand me his ID card so that I could ‘scan’ it for the information it held. (My impression again was that this ID card held much more information about the individual than I could even imagine and it was that ‘other’ information that they needed.)
Playing with this gadget, I remember holding it up to the moonlight (as you can do with sunlight) to focus the light into a small intense white light. (I thought that was cool it could do that, so I played with it for a while… but it also gave me the recall that it was nighttime this was occurring.)
I hear someone coming from the other side of my house, and know that it is someone who is part of our ‘group’ and he shouts a friendly hello to me as we recognize each other. (I had the feeling that this individual may have been the one I was supposed to copy the ID card from.) He was telling me about a party he was at (another friend of ours) where the female was celebrating her 42nd birthday, and I recall joking and laughing, “well, I wish I could celebrate that age again!” indicating that I was much older than 42 in that experience.
Unfortunately, I faded back to awareness, and quickly did my one-word associations to help in my recall of this two-part OOBE. I awoke and recorded these experiences, and went back upstairs to bed.
I had two other episodes of lucid awareness and false awakening this same morning, but I will continue them on in another post on the blog. Stand by for more!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
61) 'Seeing' Guides - Positive Thoughts
I set the ‘intent’ this time to ‘connect with my guide(s)’, as I’m having a rough spell in physical life that I felt seeing or hearing from them would help my outlook on things. I usually like to use the ‘inward now’, however, I have not had the intense satisfaction I have had in the past using it. (Probably because of my ‘rough spell’ I’m going through!)
After my usual visualizations of energy raising and white light, I became aware of my only left leg floating up from my body. Not wanting to wait for the rest of the body to separate, I just quickly rolled out (actually felt like I jumped out!) and once again found myself in the living room next to where I was sleeping on the couch.
I moved quickly away from where I exited, as I could again feel that ‘tug’ of energy wanting to pull me back. Once I was across the room, the tugging ceased and I was free to roam about. Finding myself next to the bathroom, I thought I heard someone up and inside the room, but didn’t stay around to investigate.
I attempt to remember what it was that I wanted to do, and I am always thrilled when I am able to easily recall now what it is that I set ‘intent’ to do each time! I knew I didn’t want ‘inward now’, but to see/connect with my guide/s. I look around for anyone, but for some reason didn’t think to call out to them.
I moved to the dining room, again with clear vision, looking toward the driveway that separates my house from my parents. I see headlights coming down the driveway, and I also take notice that it is still dark outside, yet everything has this ‘glow’ about it to make all things visible, even within the house.
I watch as the car pulls out the driveway, I am suprised to hear myself say, ‘well, there goes my entire family’, as I look within the large capacity car, counting the people. I can clearly see two rows of four in the back, with 5-6 in the front. I can now see their faces clearly, but then realize these people are NOT my actual family here now. I do sense a strong familiarity about them but there is no interaction, no communication - just my watching them drive past my house.
I didn’t know what else to do, so I moved straight through the side door to the porch, and just took off zooming along the tops of the trees, as I always enjoy doing. I wanted to get some speed up, to see how fast I could go. I zoomed at an angle up toward the sky, at one point seeing a jetliner pass very close by, and waiting to feel for that ‘rush’ of air current. I remember smiling as I felt it, and continued zooming upward, seeing two other smaller planes pass by as well.
Becoming bored, I then decided I’d just go straight up to outer space and see what I could find there. (I have previously been there, in that quiet blackness looking toward earth, and enjoyed the peacefulness I felt.) This time, however, as I travel upward at mach speed and feel the changes, I begin to feel some (physical belief) fears creeping in about being able to withstand being in space.
Knowing that the appearance of fears will quickly end an experience, I remember that I don’t have to ‘travel’ to get where I want to go. I can just ‘be there’. So I say, “I am there now” with the feeling that I am going to be wherever I am supposed to end up. (I just wasn’t clear on my destination, hence that statement I assume!)
I now find myself in the center of a small town square, with buildings on four sides, walking around seeing no one. I peek into some of the glass doors just off the street, and I had this impression it’s a town where anything you want, anything you need is there. It just appears as you want it. I wonder why I see no one else here, is it possible that they all have what they want already and don’t need to be here? I then begin to lose my awareness at that point and sadly become aware of being back in my body on the couch.
I will mention here that I have just finished the book by Abraham/Esther & Jerry Hicks regarding the Universal Law of Attraction and found it fascinating. Using many of their suggestions over the past weeks, I am beginning to believe even more strongly now that ‘thoughts are things’ and you DO create what you are thinking.
Finding the positive in any situation, no matter how difficult it may be, will only give you MORE positive experiences. Dwelling on the negative, will only bring you more negative experiences. My latest mantra is, “I intend to see only that which I WANT to see” and it’s working!
After my usual visualizations of energy raising and white light, I became aware of my only left leg floating up from my body. Not wanting to wait for the rest of the body to separate, I just quickly rolled out (actually felt like I jumped out!) and once again found myself in the living room next to where I was sleeping on the couch.
I moved quickly away from where I exited, as I could again feel that ‘tug’ of energy wanting to pull me back. Once I was across the room, the tugging ceased and I was free to roam about. Finding myself next to the bathroom, I thought I heard someone up and inside the room, but didn’t stay around to investigate.
I attempt to remember what it was that I wanted to do, and I am always thrilled when I am able to easily recall now what it is that I set ‘intent’ to do each time! I knew I didn’t want ‘inward now’, but to see/connect with my guide/s. I look around for anyone, but for some reason didn’t think to call out to them.
I moved to the dining room, again with clear vision, looking toward the driveway that separates my house from my parents. I see headlights coming down the driveway, and I also take notice that it is still dark outside, yet everything has this ‘glow’ about it to make all things visible, even within the house.
I watch as the car pulls out the driveway, I am suprised to hear myself say, ‘well, there goes my entire family’, as I look within the large capacity car, counting the people. I can clearly see two rows of four in the back, with 5-6 in the front. I can now see their faces clearly, but then realize these people are NOT my actual family here now. I do sense a strong familiarity about them but there is no interaction, no communication - just my watching them drive past my house.
I didn’t know what else to do, so I moved straight through the side door to the porch, and just took off zooming along the tops of the trees, as I always enjoy doing. I wanted to get some speed up, to see how fast I could go. I zoomed at an angle up toward the sky, at one point seeing a jetliner pass very close by, and waiting to feel for that ‘rush’ of air current. I remember smiling as I felt it, and continued zooming upward, seeing two other smaller planes pass by as well.
Becoming bored, I then decided I’d just go straight up to outer space and see what I could find there. (I have previously been there, in that quiet blackness looking toward earth, and enjoyed the peacefulness I felt.) This time, however, as I travel upward at mach speed and feel the changes, I begin to feel some (physical belief) fears creeping in about being able to withstand being in space.
Knowing that the appearance of fears will quickly end an experience, I remember that I don’t have to ‘travel’ to get where I want to go. I can just ‘be there’. So I say, “I am there now” with the feeling that I am going to be wherever I am supposed to end up. (I just wasn’t clear on my destination, hence that statement I assume!)
I now find myself in the center of a small town square, with buildings on four sides, walking around seeing no one. I peek into some of the glass doors just off the street, and I had this impression it’s a town where anything you want, anything you need is there. It just appears as you want it. I wonder why I see no one else here, is it possible that they all have what they want already and don’t need to be here? I then begin to lose my awareness at that point and sadly become aware of being back in my body on the couch.
I will mention here that I have just finished the book by Abraham/Esther & Jerry Hicks regarding the Universal Law of Attraction and found it fascinating. Using many of their suggestions over the past weeks, I am beginning to believe even more strongly now that ‘thoughts are things’ and you DO create what you are thinking.
Finding the positive in any situation, no matter how difficult it may be, will only give you MORE positive experiences. Dwelling on the negative, will only bring you more negative experiences. My latest mantra is, “I intend to see only that which I WANT to see” and it’s working!
Sunday, June 22, 2008
60) Clear Vision with Exit - Assumed Invisibility
6/22/08 5am
I first became aware of getting out as my feet floated up out of my body as I lie on the couch. For the first time, I could SEE my legs rising, as my vision immediately was focused and clear even before getting fully out of body! They appeared transparent and foggy white, and I was just amazed!
(Before this time, I would always be ‘blind’ as I exited, feeling the sensations of moving out but not seeing until I was fully out and ‘intending’ to see)
I remember saying to myself, ‘wow this is the clearest I have ever seen!’ I affirmed “to the door!” but remember being clever in wanting to drift outside feet first! I clearly remember the sensation of passing through the front door feet first, feeling its texture change down my entire body as I went through.
Once outside, I again enjoyed the freedom of being out, doing loops and flips to totally experience this OOB sensation. After satisfying my need for ‘freedom’, I remember I had set the intention for this travel of using “Inward Now!” affirmation (as William Buhlman suggests for personal development while OOB). Immediately, I realize I am traveling through blackness once again.
I find myself in a city, walking down a sidewalk, and seeing people also going my way toward a ‘waiting area’ of sorts at the end of a grassy island. I try to talk to a female who is passing and I find her response is totally unintelligible. Moving on down to where more are ‘waiting’ (for ? ), I realize I am unable to interact with anyone and am feeling useless.
Becoming discouraged, I remember I can change my location by re-stating “Inward now!” and spinning myself to the left, which works immediately. Again, blackness and a moving sensation, and I find myself becoming aware that I’m back on the couch, thinking I had another uneventful OOBE!
As I ‘open’ my eyes (so I think!), I am amazed to see that this is NOT my house! I try to focus on what differences there are to help in my recall. The room appears the same size and shape, yet there are walls with papers tacked to it on a bulletin board where there should be doorways. Long blue vertical blinds cover the area where my front door should be, and so I get up to investigate further.
Now, I realized I am not in my own house, and walk to the blinds to look outside. I get the feeling this is an old farmhouse, with a front porch, and I watch as an older model vehicle (truck?) pulls away from the front of the house.
It is nighttime, and I decided to walk through the rest of the house. The first room I enter is a bedroom with three little girls (ages 2-10?) Two big beds were there, one young girl was awake and reading (?) and one little girl was asleep on the floor next to the other bed. (I had the feeling she just preferred the floor to sleep on, not that she didn’t have a bed.)
They did not interact with me, so I assumed I was not able to be seen. I moved to another bedroom and there I saw a big double bed with 2-3 other twin beds in it, with young boys sleeping here with the parents in the larger bed. It was dark, and I realized that no one was aware of my presence, and I did not recognize any of them.
Feeling a bit intrusive, I moved to the bottom of the larger bed and listened as the father was discussing things with the mother. It seems as though there were money issues, and the father was becoming upset and irritated at what was happening with them, as he felt he was not having enough money to support his family. The mother wasn’t saying too much, and the father became frustrated to the point where he was loud and stormed out of the bedroom.
I followed him out of the room, and then saw the oldest of the girls standing outside her bedroom, closing the door gently. I only heard part of what she was saying “…that old booger…” (meaning her father), being concerned that he would wake her sisters.
I was stunned as she turned to face me, and said, “Well, Karen, that was my dad!” I was totally caught off guard, as I didn’t think anyone could see me, much less talk to me! I felt at a total loss for words, and I think what do I say to her??
The first thing I say is, ‘well, how does that make you feel?’ trying to elicit a direction to take this conversation. I then felt this may have been the wrong thing to say, so I tried to counter it with, ‘what kind of work does your father do?’
At this point I start fading back to awareness, and realized I am not going to be able to continue this conversation. Whether it was due to my inappropriate questioning, or whether I had finished this experience, I don’t know. I was left with the feeling that I may have not handled this one as well as I should have.
As for experiences, although I may not have finished it well, I am happy to know that I have this new experience of ‘seeing’ while exiting. Only once before did I partially ‘see’ myself while out of body, and it was the same white ethereal foggy appearance. (At that time, I was lying in bed, but could see the reflection in the bureau mirror next to my bed of only my arm floating above my body! It appeared as if made of tiny ‘spider web’ strings, transparent and white.)
Perhaps this experience also showed me that I should not ‘assume’ I cannot be seen or heard, as this is what I felt both with the initial ‘city’ environment as well as the farmhouse.
As always, I look forward to any insight anyone may have on this experience.
I first became aware of getting out as my feet floated up out of my body as I lie on the couch. For the first time, I could SEE my legs rising, as my vision immediately was focused and clear even before getting fully out of body! They appeared transparent and foggy white, and I was just amazed!
(Before this time, I would always be ‘blind’ as I exited, feeling the sensations of moving out but not seeing until I was fully out and ‘intending’ to see)
I remember saying to myself, ‘wow this is the clearest I have ever seen!’ I affirmed “to the door!” but remember being clever in wanting to drift outside feet first! I clearly remember the sensation of passing through the front door feet first, feeling its texture change down my entire body as I went through.
Once outside, I again enjoyed the freedom of being out, doing loops and flips to totally experience this OOB sensation. After satisfying my need for ‘freedom’, I remember I had set the intention for this travel of using “Inward Now!” affirmation (as William Buhlman suggests for personal development while OOB). Immediately, I realize I am traveling through blackness once again.
I find myself in a city, walking down a sidewalk, and seeing people also going my way toward a ‘waiting area’ of sorts at the end of a grassy island. I try to talk to a female who is passing and I find her response is totally unintelligible. Moving on down to where more are ‘waiting’ (for ? ), I realize I am unable to interact with anyone and am feeling useless.
Becoming discouraged, I remember I can change my location by re-stating “Inward now!” and spinning myself to the left, which works immediately. Again, blackness and a moving sensation, and I find myself becoming aware that I’m back on the couch, thinking I had another uneventful OOBE!
As I ‘open’ my eyes (so I think!), I am amazed to see that this is NOT my house! I try to focus on what differences there are to help in my recall. The room appears the same size and shape, yet there are walls with papers tacked to it on a bulletin board where there should be doorways. Long blue vertical blinds cover the area where my front door should be, and so I get up to investigate further.
Now, I realized I am not in my own house, and walk to the blinds to look outside. I get the feeling this is an old farmhouse, with a front porch, and I watch as an older model vehicle (truck?) pulls away from the front of the house.
It is nighttime, and I decided to walk through the rest of the house. The first room I enter is a bedroom with three little girls (ages 2-10?) Two big beds were there, one young girl was awake and reading (?) and one little girl was asleep on the floor next to the other bed. (I had the feeling she just preferred the floor to sleep on, not that she didn’t have a bed.)
They did not interact with me, so I assumed I was not able to be seen. I moved to another bedroom and there I saw a big double bed with 2-3 other twin beds in it, with young boys sleeping here with the parents in the larger bed. It was dark, and I realized that no one was aware of my presence, and I did not recognize any of them.
Feeling a bit intrusive, I moved to the bottom of the larger bed and listened as the father was discussing things with the mother. It seems as though there were money issues, and the father was becoming upset and irritated at what was happening with them, as he felt he was not having enough money to support his family. The mother wasn’t saying too much, and the father became frustrated to the point where he was loud and stormed out of the bedroom.
I followed him out of the room, and then saw the oldest of the girls standing outside her bedroom, closing the door gently. I only heard part of what she was saying “…that old booger…” (meaning her father), being concerned that he would wake her sisters.
I was stunned as she turned to face me, and said, “Well, Karen, that was my dad!” I was totally caught off guard, as I didn’t think anyone could see me, much less talk to me! I felt at a total loss for words, and I think what do I say to her??
The first thing I say is, ‘well, how does that make you feel?’ trying to elicit a direction to take this conversation. I then felt this may have been the wrong thing to say, so I tried to counter it with, ‘what kind of work does your father do?’
At this point I start fading back to awareness, and realized I am not going to be able to continue this conversation. Whether it was due to my inappropriate questioning, or whether I had finished this experience, I don’t know. I was left with the feeling that I may have not handled this one as well as I should have.
As for experiences, although I may not have finished it well, I am happy to know that I have this new experience of ‘seeing’ while exiting. Only once before did I partially ‘see’ myself while out of body, and it was the same white ethereal foggy appearance. (At that time, I was lying in bed, but could see the reflection in the bureau mirror next to my bed of only my arm floating above my body! It appeared as if made of tiny ‘spider web’ strings, transparent and white.)
Perhaps this experience also showed me that I should not ‘assume’ I cannot be seen or heard, as this is what I felt both with the initial ‘city’ environment as well as the farmhouse.
As always, I look forward to any insight anyone may have on this experience.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
59) Facing Negativity Again - Shield Up!!
June 15, 2008 5am
I was once again on the couch, as it now has become my favorite place to have experiences. Although I have had a few OOBEs while in bed, the majority has been from this comfy couch and I feel I have now associated it with traveling!
The first I became aware of getting out, I found my legs floating up and separating. I easily rolled my upper torso completely out off the couch and stood. It was probably the easiest separation I had ever had, and to my dismay, heard the chimes from the clock go off and found myself completely back in body!
Not discouraged (but rather disappointed!), I fell back into my routine to re-exit. This time, once I became aware of time to separate, it wasn’t as easy but I was able to roll off successfully to standing position. Moving ‘to the door!’ gave me time to think “what was it that I wanted to do today?”
This time I had set the intention to just ‘meet someone to talk to’, but always having the wish to help someone in the back of my mind. I remember once again getting outdoors and just enjoying the freedom of flight, but it was different than usual. I was in total blackness, not seeing where I was going, but fully aware I was ‘flying’ into and through various objects as I could feel the texture changes.
Surprisingly, I really didn’t care WHAT it was I was flying through, and just enjoyed the fact that no matter what I encountered, I knew I was safe and could not be harmed. Little did I know this was just a prelude to what I was really going to encounter soon!
I am also aware I went somewhere next that was exciting and fun, but have absolutely no recall of! I can only assume that this was one of those ‘higher learning’ levels that are difficult to recall that was in preparation for my next encounter. (Odd thing is, though, I KNOW I remembered what I did when I was waking slowly, but by the time I had enough word associations to remember all the rest, this part was totally forgotten!)
So, from what I do recall, I found myself appearing in this darkened living room/waiting room of sorts, with comfortable couches and chairs and perhaps a small reception area. Standing there, I call out, ‘is anyone here?’ and was surprised to see movement in one of the chairs to my right.
Going over, I see a small older woman (initially I thought child), crouched in the chair and asked her name. She tells me (S…..?) and I ask if I can help her? She tells me ‘no, but you need to see Mr. Whittley in the back.’
I thanked her and moved on, trying to stamp her name in my memory, but she starts rambling on again about the (C….?) family who knows Dina, and just visited Mrs. ???? This causes me to say, ‘wait, too many names, I can’t remember them all!’ (I’m always bad with names, and this may have been a way for me to just let go of her name, which by then I totally forgot, except that it started with an S!)
So, I’m going down this hallway with many windows on the left, a wall on the right, and look down to the end where I can see a right turn and a dark bedroom. I ‘feel’ that Mr. Whittley is in the bedroom, perhaps an older frail man who may need some help in passing, I assume. (Never assume….even in the astral!! Lol)
As I turn the right corner by the bedroom door, I am shocked and startled by the presence of this HUGE dark ball of negativity that is just outside the doorway! I can feel its radiating waves of ‘heat-like’ negativity coming at me and it causes me to feel totally defenseless and slightly fearful as it caught me completely off guard!!
I hear a deep, strong, male voice from the ball of negativity LOUDLY state, “You were supposed to sign a bondage contract!!”
Quickly and quietly, I also hear another soft male voice (from somewhere next to me) tell me, ‘Put your shield up!’ which immediately brought me back to the awareness that I am in control of any situation in OOB and my fear vanished. I know I stated strongly to myself (thought actually), “I am strong, I am safe!” and that enabled me to continue on. (I just don’t know where I get this courage from OOB….but I’m glad I do!)
I talked with this ball of negativity, not totally remembering exactly what I said, but the ending part was, “There is so much out there for you! Why don’t you come with me? There is so much fun out there...so much joy...so much….LOVE!....Come on, come with me!” as I turned to the windows that were behind me and flew out.
I am not sure what happened to that negativity or Mr. Whittley after that, and honestly, I don’t know if that was just a way for me to escape the situation or not. I cannot tell you the final outcome, but I can only hope that the negativity and/or Mr. Whittley found some help in my appearance there.
The experience surprisingly didn’t end there, because I now found myself back in the living room where I’m sleeping and looking out the window by the couch. I play with the glass, trying to put my hands and head through it, but can’t! It just causes it to stretch outward, and I think, “that’s odd, let’s try the wall.” I can easily put my hands through the wall, feeling the different textures, and the coolness outside. I can even ‘feel’ the stone chimney that I know is next to the window outside!
Feeling like I’m getting ‘lighter awareness’ signaling an end to the experience, I try to prolong it by moving to the door. I knew I was ‘running out of energy’ and it took a lot of effort just to get to the front door.
I hear water falling (knowing I have a waterfall pond outside the front door) and go outside. It appears to be raining, and I stand under a rainfall runoff, like taking a little shower, just enjoying the coolness and refreshing feel of the rain water as it hits me. I awaken fully at that time.
I was once again on the couch, as it now has become my favorite place to have experiences. Although I have had a few OOBEs while in bed, the majority has been from this comfy couch and I feel I have now associated it with traveling!
The first I became aware of getting out, I found my legs floating up and separating. I easily rolled my upper torso completely out off the couch and stood. It was probably the easiest separation I had ever had, and to my dismay, heard the chimes from the clock go off and found myself completely back in body!
Not discouraged (but rather disappointed!), I fell back into my routine to re-exit. This time, once I became aware of time to separate, it wasn’t as easy but I was able to roll off successfully to standing position. Moving ‘to the door!’ gave me time to think “what was it that I wanted to do today?”
This time I had set the intention to just ‘meet someone to talk to’, but always having the wish to help someone in the back of my mind. I remember once again getting outdoors and just enjoying the freedom of flight, but it was different than usual. I was in total blackness, not seeing where I was going, but fully aware I was ‘flying’ into and through various objects as I could feel the texture changes.
Surprisingly, I really didn’t care WHAT it was I was flying through, and just enjoyed the fact that no matter what I encountered, I knew I was safe and could not be harmed. Little did I know this was just a prelude to what I was really going to encounter soon!
I am also aware I went somewhere next that was exciting and fun, but have absolutely no recall of! I can only assume that this was one of those ‘higher learning’ levels that are difficult to recall that was in preparation for my next encounter. (Odd thing is, though, I KNOW I remembered what I did when I was waking slowly, but by the time I had enough word associations to remember all the rest, this part was totally forgotten!)
So, from what I do recall, I found myself appearing in this darkened living room/waiting room of sorts, with comfortable couches and chairs and perhaps a small reception area. Standing there, I call out, ‘is anyone here?’ and was surprised to see movement in one of the chairs to my right.
Going over, I see a small older woman (initially I thought child), crouched in the chair and asked her name. She tells me (S…..?) and I ask if I can help her? She tells me ‘no, but you need to see Mr. Whittley in the back.’
I thanked her and moved on, trying to stamp her name in my memory, but she starts rambling on again about the (C….?) family who knows Dina, and just visited Mrs. ???? This causes me to say, ‘wait, too many names, I can’t remember them all!’ (I’m always bad with names, and this may have been a way for me to just let go of her name, which by then I totally forgot, except that it started with an S!)
So, I’m going down this hallway with many windows on the left, a wall on the right, and look down to the end where I can see a right turn and a dark bedroom. I ‘feel’ that Mr. Whittley is in the bedroom, perhaps an older frail man who may need some help in passing, I assume. (Never assume….even in the astral!! Lol)
As I turn the right corner by the bedroom door, I am shocked and startled by the presence of this HUGE dark ball of negativity that is just outside the doorway! I can feel its radiating waves of ‘heat-like’ negativity coming at me and it causes me to feel totally defenseless and slightly fearful as it caught me completely off guard!!
I hear a deep, strong, male voice from the ball of negativity LOUDLY state, “You were supposed to sign a bondage contract!!”
Quickly and quietly, I also hear another soft male voice (from somewhere next to me) tell me, ‘Put your shield up!’ which immediately brought me back to the awareness that I am in control of any situation in OOB and my fear vanished. I know I stated strongly to myself (thought actually), “I am strong, I am safe!” and that enabled me to continue on. (I just don’t know where I get this courage from OOB….but I’m glad I do!)
I talked with this ball of negativity, not totally remembering exactly what I said, but the ending part was, “There is so much out there for you! Why don’t you come with me? There is so much fun out there...so much joy...so much….LOVE!....Come on, come with me!” as I turned to the windows that were behind me and flew out.
I am not sure what happened to that negativity or Mr. Whittley after that, and honestly, I don’t know if that was just a way for me to escape the situation or not. I cannot tell you the final outcome, but I can only hope that the negativity and/or Mr. Whittley found some help in my appearance there.
The experience surprisingly didn’t end there, because I now found myself back in the living room where I’m sleeping and looking out the window by the couch. I play with the glass, trying to put my hands and head through it, but can’t! It just causes it to stretch outward, and I think, “that’s odd, let’s try the wall.” I can easily put my hands through the wall, feeling the different textures, and the coolness outside. I can even ‘feel’ the stone chimney that I know is next to the window outside!
Feeling like I’m getting ‘lighter awareness’ signaling an end to the experience, I try to prolong it by moving to the door. I knew I was ‘running out of energy’ and it took a lot of effort just to get to the front door.
I hear water falling (knowing I have a waterfall pond outside the front door) and go outside. It appears to be raining, and I stand under a rainfall runoff, like taking a little shower, just enjoying the coolness and refreshing feel of the rain water as it hits me. I awaken fully at that time.
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