57) Party, Dream Conversion, Omaha

May 26, 2008

Asleep on couch, I ‘awoke’ thinking that a party was going on in my house! It was filled with people and ‘stuff’ and with me in a flannel nightgown! There were so many people all over…my daughter and her friends, my ex-husband and his football friends, and myriads of people I recognized from some time in my life but didn’t know well.

I saw perfume bottles set up on a counter and the floor, some jewelry hanging on display I had to duck under, and the floor covered with all kinds of ‘stuff’ you had to step over. At one point, I tried opening something that spilled onto the floor, and thought, “well, there is so much stuff already on the floor, I’ll clean it up later!”

I’m walking around telling everyone that I need to knew when they are coming and spending the night, stopping to sternly tell my ex-husband he must inform me when he plans on staying over. As usual, he’s arguing that he didn’t stay over…they were out very late and came here in the early am. I just assume they’ve been here all night because it’s morning now.

Walking to different rooms, I need to find out what’s going on in each because I feel I’m responsible for what’s happening in my house. In one room I see a curtain with a young teenage son of a friend holding it closed so I can’t see what’s going on. I look behind it and see a male & female (thin blond) teenagers involved with each other and tell them to stop and leave. I then notice an older male also there with them involved, (thin, balding in center, hair on sides, familiar yet not one I knew I wanted in my house). I tell them all to get dressed and leave.

Now I’m trying to find my husband so he can help me escort them out. I find him upstairs in an unfinished attic type area, again with other people milling around there too. I knew he was planning on taking a bath (?) in his truck because he was disgusted with all that was going on in the house. I tried to tell him “please don’t leave, I need your help to get these people out” but I don’t know if he heard me as he disappeared out the back door.

I go down the stairs and hallway thinking I can intercept him and try to get his attention to help me, so as I’m going back to that room with the dressing people, I’m looking down the hallway hoping to see my husband and get him to help me escort them out. When I realize he’s not going to help, a tall black gentleman appears (unfamiliar person, yet emanating a safe, warm feeling of help), so I confidently go into the room with him.

I follow the people out of the house, and as I’m walking them out I’m telling them that I don’t even want them waiting in the driveway for a ride, they have to just keep walking. I felt there were enough adults there in the house and around that someone would be able to give them a ride home if they needed one.

As we exit the house, I see the group of people I’m escorting split up into two groups going different directions, and I wonder how I’ll be sure they all get out. I ask where one group is going, and the man says his car is parked closer to this exit, so he’s leaving that way. I now realize this is an airport terminal, with different exits, and I allow them to leave whatever exit they wish. They just disappeared.

In one section where I stopped, I see baggage being loaded into an area that had a pneumatic chute type effect. Standing near that, I turn around to see who is there and notice a male and female up on another level watching and smiling at me, not feeling like they are there to help me, but just watching and finding it funny that I am so distressed and out of control with what’s happening in my home. Everyone else in this experience so far seemed to be having a good fun time, but in a low morals type way, and I did not find it funny to me at all.

Turning back to the baggage loading area, I suddenly find myself sucked up into the chute and ‘falling’ upward in darkness. I became fearful about being harmed in this chute and then had the realization, “hey, wait! It’s a dream and I can do whatever I want!” (The feeling of danger is almost always a signal that I’m dreaming)

I then knew to convert the experience into a long tunnel feeling so I would be able to fly out. I turned around (I was on my back) and did the Superman position to fly, but also realized at the same time that I didn’t need to have my arms out to fly!

I exit the tunnel and find myself flying over water, beach-like water, with gentle waves and people wading in the water, mostly women and children. I would occasionally see one or two look up as if they see me, but I know they probably can’t since I’m OOB. (maybe they could? perhaps a false belief I had?) They are having such fun, and so am I, just zipping and zooming around and enjoying that freedom of flight again.

Looking at the women, I feel it may have been a time ago, when women wore bathing suits and head coverings that covered most of their bodies. I then fly back to the beach and see the docks/piers where there are mostly men working. I then flew over a city like area, with one section that seemed to be more country, as if a park with a pavilion. I think to myself, “I wonder where I am?” and at that time I see a man sitting in the pavilion look up to me and yell out “Omaha!” So I say, “Oh, thank you! I must be in Omaha”, and I’m trying to remember where Omaha is, quickly remembering it’s in Nebraska. As if on cue, another male at the other end of the park yells out “Nebraska!” confirming to me that I was indeed in Omaha, Nebraska.

I decide to fly up to the stars enjoying being among the quiet blackness and stars. I had the feeling I was beginning to wake, so at that point I recall I had set the intention to help someone when I got out. I yell out, “is anyone there?” a few times, hearing myself speak almost as if I was fully awake. ( I think I waited too long in the experience and was too ‘awake’ at this point)

No one answered but I became painfully aware of the fact that my right first finger was going numb, so I’m trying to wiggle it to get the feeling back, knowing that this might fully wake me up but still hoping I can continue on. (I really thought I was actually wiggling it IP, but when I woke it was still quite numb due to its awkward position, probably the cause of my OOBE ending)

Now I’m aware I’m in a forest, lying down, enjoying the sounds of the forest and gentle rain. I could feel a buzz in my pocket, and I realize it’s my pager going off! (I was actually IP ‘on call’ for the hospital and I’m sure I had that concern underlying my experience)

I look at the pager and try to read it, and it says something about ‘Labor Day’ (?), and as I hit it again, it’s a video of a firetruck (?), and I remember thinking “this is important, I have to be sure this is NOT real as I have to go if I’m really being paged!”

Concentrating, I think “this can’t be right, this can’t be real” as it just kept giving me weird words and diagrams. At that point I remember this can’t be ‘real’ because when I went to bed, I had the pager on a loud ‘beeper’ to wake me, not ‘buzzer’. (It’s amazing how your mind is able to rationalize and remember such details even when ‘out’!)

I again feel I was semi-awake, as the sound of my IP waterfall in the room was probably the sound of rain I was hearing. Although I didn’t’ want to wake, I knew my finger was now very painful, and I awoke fully with a numb finger and a feeling of incomplete adventure once again!

56) Visiting with "D."

5/14/08
I made the intention that if I got out again last night I'd try to remember to go see "D.", just in case I'm on a roll here and could take her with me! :)

What happened was unique to say the least, but not much else. I remember feeling the 'awakened' mind while dreaming stage, despite how it felt I may be 'too awake' to get out.

I still tried to do the roll-out with my legs, and succeeded in a partial exit. With a little more oomph, I was out, but standing unsteadily, as if it was the first time again!

It took me a few seconds to realize I was truly out, as it felt so different and heavy. I was confused for a short bit, wondering what I had wanted to do, but fortunately, gained some recall about wanting to go see D.

Standing in the living room, a bit confused by the strange sensations, I affirmed 'to D.!', but felt compelled to also add 'inward now!'. It was after forcing a slight twist to the left that I felt the usual spinning and moving sensations, along with blackness.

I felt I was descending and entering into a small living room/sitting room of sorts. I will describe it as best I can, but you will see that my time there was SO brief, I'm lucky I can even recall what I did.

It was more the 'feeling' of the room that I remember, such a cozy, warm, home-y type room, with many little knick-knacks and 'items' on display. It was cluttered in a sense, but in a very neat and organized sort of way, so that it felt warm and inviting. There was only the warm glow of a lamp or two that lit the room, nothing bright and stark about this room at all. I was not able to see anyone, yet had the feeling someone was there.

Immediately upon entering this room from above, I heard the loud raucous sound of a telephone ringing! I was SO upset to think that my phone would ring at this crucial time! (It was a false awakening I later found out - no phone call was received IP)

I answered the phone, pulling myself out of this 'foggy state' I was in (which I believed was due to my just being OOB). It was another nurse from work, who was in need of help on a critical patient, and I remember telling her, "hang on, I'll be there as soon as I can - I'm not feeling too well right now" thinking I needed to get more awake to process my thoughts clearly.

My friend Susan was also there, rushing around to get ready for work as well, and I confirmed with her that she had heard about the trouble at work. (You would think this would have made me realize it was a false awakening, but since I had just returned from a trip with her, I think I assumed I was still on that trip!)

Getting dressed, I'm now forcing my mind to awaken, and am so surprised to see that when I fully awaken for real, I'm still here on the couch at home, with no one around and nothing going on!

I have to wonder why would a false awakening want to stop me from completing this task I set? The whole experience was different from the start, so I just don't know what to think about this one.


5/18/08 Second attempt to visit D.

Last night, while visiting my son in his 15th floor apartment, I was able to get out with the intention of trying once again visiting "D." I remember rolling out off the couch, feeling very very heavy, yet surprisingly very clear in my thinking. I moved to the sliding door to the balcony, and notice how sloo-o-o-w moving everything felt, even my motions.

I attempted to turn to look at myself on the couch (knowing full well this is something I don’t really want to do since previously I have found I return immediately), and as I am attempting to turn very slowly, I am stopped. I don’t fight the block, knowing it is for my own best interest to not do so.

With my attention to the balcony, I try to ‘walk’ through the glass door, only to find it rather solid and difficult to pass through. It takes me only a second to know it IS possible to do (remember, I am very clear in my thoughts, an unusual occurrence for me), and then proceed to go through the door to the outside, however, in a very slooooow process, definitely feeling the change in texture as I pass through.

Now standing on the balcony, I see the beautiful view of the city below, and think clearly of my intention to go visit "D". So I say to myself, ‘to D.!’ with full intention of traveling there, and was so surprised to find myself immediately transitioning to a fully awake state! No false awakening, just fully awake and in my body. Worse yet, I was not able to get out again for the remainder of the night!

I am beginning to think that deep down, I am of the belief that I should not be using this OOB gift in such a manner and that may be a reason for this inability to travel to destinations of my own choosing. Using ‘inward now’ and having my Higher Self decide where and what I need to be doing is what resonates best with me, and therefore I feel has an impact on my ability to meet with others.

At this time, I think I will return to the use of ‘Inward Now!’ and see if my experiences return to the deeper learning events that I long for again. With these intentions I am confident I will have more interesting experiences to post!

55) Traveling With a Friend OOB!

Wow! I can't believe I was actually able to bring along a very good friend on this latest OOBE! It again isn't much, but it does tell me that perhaps this will be my only attempt to bring along someone who has not had their own previous OOBE in order that they could validate it with me.

I was away on a long weekend in Cape Cod with two friends, one being a very close confidante and long time associate, Susan. This was to be a 'girls getaway' weekend of rejuvenation and energy work, so I had high hopes (and intent!) of experiencing something wonderful and exciting.

It was on the second night that I found myself out of body in the bedroom. I had already planned on what I would do when I get out, so I affirmed 'to the door!' which took me first to the bedroom door. I then again affirmed 'to the door!' and proceeded to the main living room area where Susan was sleeping on the couch.

It was at that time, I remember extending my left hand to her right hand and taking off! I knew we were flying south along Cape Cod, as I remember seeing the ocean waves moving into shore from my left to my right beneath me. I distinctly remember telling Susan, "You have to remember this! Any small part of it, you just have to remember this!!!"

It seems my 'feeling' at this time was that she was still 'sleeping' and was not really responsive to my urgings. Although she appeared awake, I could tell by her 'demeanor' that it was going to be unlikely that she would be able to recall any of it.

I took her to a cluster of trees, planning on zooming up the tree, as it is a favorite OOB pastime of mine it seems (lol). However, I also recall thinking, as we faced the tree in front of us, 'wow, these trees really are short here by the sea!' so it wasn't as much fun as it usually is.

Trying to do other maneuvers that she may be able to recall later, I then tried to teach her how to 'back flip', another OOB favorite of mine. Again, I remember instead of the usual 'feet up over head' flip, it was more of a soft back loop!!!

We proceeded to a house somewhere below where I saw a woman and her two sons. Much detail is lost here, as this OOBE would continue on with more 'feeling/emotional' aspects than actual events that can be put into words.

I can only put here what I was able to record immediately upon waking, with as much word associations as I could recall. I actually remember near the end having to make the OOBE stop so that I would even be able to recall these few events, knowing there was SO much more to it that I can express here.

Anyway, in the house, Susan and I were welcome friends, at least it seemed so in the beginning. However, I feel this experience may have been more, as in something I needed to learn from.

At some point, the woman and her husband (who had come in during our stay) determined that somehow I was the one responsible for their youngest child's death! I remember that there was a 'connection' I had had with this young son (under age 5), but I cannot recall in what capacity. The mother, father, as well as the remaining two sons, (aged approximately 8 & 12), were emphatic that I was to blame!

Hoping for some backup support from Susan, I quickly realized she was not going to be capable of helping me and that this was something I was going to have to do for myself. Her presence in this experience disappeared at this time.

So, to sum up what happened as best I can, I believe that because I felt I had to defend myself from this false accusation, I became absorbed within their beliefs and could feel the slow rise of panic and fear.

This made me completely useless in giving any form of help to them, and I was so glad to be given a signal (one I know I received but cannot recall) that I was still out of body! I just took off, out of the house, and flying free into darkness.

Flying through a night sky, I saw in the distance a storm brewing, with flashes of light and high winds. Loving the wind as I do, I headed straight for the beautiful orange/red clouds and yellow flashes of light, enjoying the brisk wind in my face.

Looking down, I saw school children being usered to 'safety' by the teachers in anticipation of this major wind/rain storm.

Once I was within all the red/orange/yellow light of the storm, I found myself in an amusement type area, where these same colors were now completely filling both sides, above and below me, in the form of lighted signs or colored boxes. It is interesting to note that there were ‘flames of fire’ within these little boxes, making me think perhaps the storm caused some sort of damage.

I moved downward, seeing a staircase with many people descending the stairs. I was flying above them, going up, and just looking at their faces trying to see if there were any who appeared familiar. There were mostly women, some with children, and a few men...all smiling at me, but not interacting.

At the top of the stairs sat three children, and I decided to stay and talk with them. I felt welcomed and and asked them their names. They were all unusual names and would be pronounced in such a cute 'kid-like' manner. I don't recall the exact names, just the fact that their own version of the name was made me smile.

It was at that point I felt I had to force an ending to this OOBE as there was SO much happening that I knew I was barely going to be able to remember the highlights. I always hate it when that happens, but I also know when I've 'had enough'.

What is interesting to share with you is that I was recently asked what my greatest fears were in life. After much thought I came with two fears: being falsely accused and personal failure to follow through with a given responsibility due to not being told about it. By doing so in an unknowing manner would be the only way this would happen, as I would never intentionally disregard any responsibilities I have been assigned.

In reviewing this OOBE, it is perhaps just this 'fear' that caused me to conform to the family's belief system and hence my hasty retreat from them.

As for the rest of the OOBE, it's anyone's guess...and I'm always open to suggestions! Email me with any if you have some insight...thanks!

54) Lucid Dream - Warning?

It's been a very busy few weeks for me with many life events and problems that take energy away from my ability to 'work' within the spiritual realms as much as I'd like to.

With that, I thought I'd share a quick lucid dream (possible OOBE, but not sure) that I had last night.

My initial recall is that I was visiting with two girlfriends, one of whom was interested in trying to put me 'in trance' to see what could be learned. Unfortunately, upon entering trance state, it was obvious to us that I was having a problem 'waking up' and remained semi-comatose for the course of the entire night and next day, despite their best attempts to awaken me.

During this entire 'semi-comatose' time, however, I was fully aware of what my friends were doing in trying to arouse me, yet I was totally unable to interact. It was only with the application of a 'musical wand' to my solar plexus area that I felt burst of energy and light that enabled me to awaken.

Now I found myself outside on a tree-lined sidewalk, trying to walk through some sort of snow-like covering, next to a small church. While walking through this deep snow, I felt something clamp onto my right foot and right hand! It was painful, yet I knew it was not going to come off just by shaking - so I had to affirm its release by surrounding it with white light and demand it to go in the name of Jesus as I threw it toward the church....(I assume that was the reason I was next to the small church).

I then see a familiar face (light brown wavy hair young man) waiting for me standing on the sidewalk at the entrance to a forest. He is smiling and we talk, but I have no recall except for the fact that he warned me that I must be more careful. As I know he is inferring to the fact that I must now go through the forest ahead of me, so I ask him to accompany me and he just smiles.

I awaken fully with these strong memories, but without the usual feeling of having been OOB. Yet, I know....I was interacting with something and someone - and I think about what just happened.

There was only one major difference between this experience and all the rest - and that is the fact that due to my hectic life schedule, I did my usual 'intention' to travel, but did not take the time to protect myself with white light and do my energy activations. It is possible that now with my more involved interactions within the spiritual realms, that I must now remember to be more careful in protecting myself for future experiences.

53) OBE - Working with a Soul Group

This is the latest experience I had while visiting my son, wife, and my new granddaughter for the weekend. For some background, it is necessary to note that they live in an apartment in Philadelphia next to a park and on the top floor of a 15 story building with a balcony that overlooks the street below.

Going to sleep in the living room, near the sliding door out to the balcony, I remember thinking it would be so cool to be able to go OOB and experience going over the railing 15 stories up! Sure enough, I asked and it is given – but of course in a most interesting way!

I woke to vibrations, excited to think I’d be able to get out while visiting here. Again, the first time with the vibrations was unsuccessful as I became too aware and awake. I relaxed back, and then became aware of what I call ‘astral vision’ starting. That is, I am completely aware I am lying in bed, yet can see clearing that I am viewing unfamiliar countryside, as if flying. As I am watching the scenery, I again realize I am becoming too awake/aware trying to use my physical eyes as the vision starts fading. I quickly focus on returning to that ‘altered mind-state’ (best description I can give) that brings the vision back into clear focus.

It is at that time, I realize I am now transitioning to a full OOB state, becoming aware I am actually flying over this countryside with the most beautiful colors below. Again, I enjoy the freedom of being out, swooping and diving, doing all kinds of flight maneuvers. (I really think I have to have this experience at first as it ‘validates’ to me that I am actually OOB, and then will be able to transition to the next experience to stay aware that I am still ‘out’.)

As I’m flying, things start to become less clear and controlled, so to keep my experience going, I know this is the time I need to affirm “Inward now!”, which I do.

Again, the backward pull, blackness, and transitioning feeling, and I find myself back on the couch in my son’s apartment. Like last time with Stephanie (see #52), however, I again remember to call out to see if anyone is around, but find there is no answer this time.

Not wanting to ‘waste’ as good chance to go OOB again, I focus on ‘rolling out’ to see if I can get out in the near physical, which I find I can do easily. I am now standing in the living room, and remember that I wanted to go out to the balcony to experience the jump to the street below. (I even recall having that glimmer of a thought that if I’m not OOB, I’m going to be in such deep trouble! lol) However, that thought was only a glimmer as I knew I was indeed OOB and would have such fun doing this!

So I affirm ‘to the balcony’ and find myself sweeping over the railing and gently drifting down to the street below, completely unafraid and curious to see what I would find. I found people (lots of them!) walking the street as I float gently above them, wondering to myself why I cannot make any contact with them. (I have the feeling they may have been those who are in spirit or possibly even OOB while asleep still in physical now.)

As I think this, two ‘people’ jump up into my face (male and female energies) and startle me by saying, ‘WE can see you!” and get the impression that they are not malevolent spirits, but ‘jokesters’ who love to play pranks on others. I just ignore them and they disappear.

Next I am aware of an older male energy/spirit that is accompanying me and discussing various life experiences, and I feel very comfortable talking with him. Having recently asked to meet my guides, I am now wondering if he may be one.

Even though I do not get that special ‘feeling’ I get when I am in the presence of a higher level guide,I am still very comfortable with him. I do recall asking him if he was one of my guides, why he chose to appear as an older man, and why I didn’t know more about him, but I did not get any specific answers from him – only the impression that he is someone who is connected to me in some way and is here to help.

At one point, I also remember seeing him float higher and wanting to move up with him but yet felt so ‘heavy’ and unmaneuverable. I asked him why it was this way, and his answer was that all I had to do was ‘want it’ and I would be able to join him – which I did.

I also asked him why I couldn’t just get OOB more often, and he said something like well, “we’ll do a little bit today, a little bit next week, and we will get to it as we can” - giving me the impression there was no hurry to learn it all. I felt he definitely knew how often I was getting out and was working with me as I learned.

We then meet up with another younger male energy/spirit who also ‘feels’ this same way, and I ask him why he is here with me. He indicates something about coming because he is a ‘mother-watcher’ as he watches out for mothers (?) and we have a connection that has to do with 15 year old boys(?) I told him yes, I had two boys at one time together near that age, and he proceeds to tell me, ‘…and one of them just recently had a baby, right?’ I said yes, my first granddaughter and it is interesting to note that he made a comment to indicate he was unaware that it was a girl.

(Now I am assuming that this means he may have helped me through the time I was having difficulty with my two teenage boys, at the time when both were close to age 15, and life was extremely difficult as a mother – yet it is interesting that he was aware of the latest change with one son having a new baby, but not all specific details.)

We are now all floating together above a park, with more and more energies/spirits arriving (total of about six, I think) and we are discussing different life events. (I wish I could be more specific here, but I do not recall any of the details of our conversations).

I do remember near the end of the experience that one of the energies/spirits that showed up was in fact my best friend, with whom I am currently working out some work issues with. She was telling me that while ‘I was gone’(?) I did not hear that another coworker was going to be leaving our unit to take a job with another doctor. I was surprised at this information and remember discussing the consequences and feeling upset she was going to leave and not the others who I rather hoped would leave.

I believe this ‘contact’ with my good friend served two purposes for me – one to validate that she is part of my spiritual ‘work group’ here on earth, and two, to validate the fact that this experience was a sort of ‘support group’ meeting of my spiritual friends that allowed me to discuss life issues and events that were/are occurring in my life. Whether these friends are in spirit, or currently in physical but OOB, I am not sure, but I know we all work together.

This OOB experience ended soon thereafter, and I woke with the knowing that help is always here for me and that I am never alone with any life experience.

Interesting to note, after recording this experience, I awoke again a short time later after a more intense experience that had just occurred and I remember frantically trying to remain in this ‘trance-like’ state of awareness in order to give picture associations and words that would help me recall what just happened.

However, for whatever reason, upon fully awakening, the recall vanished completely – leaving me only a few word associations - a college, a young girl, someplace I’ve been to before many times, and the inability to complete a task yet they had the ability, and my comfort in being able to help them ‘assimilate’(?) The pictures and associations I was making while in the trance state was making sense at the time, however, when fully awake, there was no ability to connect the associations into a story of any sort.

This was an interesting experience in that I realized there is a 'system' to my getting out - I will first need to feel that 'freedom' and fun of flying and doing what I like, then have to 'get to work' with another aspect of my learning.

This was also interesting in that I never thought about having a 'work group' that I was a part of, but it does make sense. These 'people' were not the same feeling as a higher guide would be, but more just like me in the sense of energy level. The older male I conversed with more felt like the 'leader' of this group than a higher guide.

52) False Awakening and Retrieval - Stephanie

I had a WONDERFUL experience a few hours ago and have to share it. It seems that I was finally able to constructively use my 'false awakenings' to help someone! As you all know, I felt this learning how to handle this type of ‘awakening’ was being shown to me for a reason, and intuitively I felt it was for just this type of thing. I am just so thrilled!

Here's the experience as I had to write it as soon as I woke:

I became aware of vibrations, and could hear the TV playing (my signal I'm getting ready as the TV is never on at this time) so I knew I was about to get out. My first attempt was unsuccessful, as I got half way up but couldn't separate. I became aware again of being on couch after a short bit, felt the vibrations, and heard the TV playing again (game show theme song) so knew to try again.

This time I rolled out separating easily, said, "to the door!" I moved to the side door, slowly, and was amazed I could see fairly well for a change. I saw the dining table and chairs, so I put my hand out to feel chairs as I passed. (Everything was much clearer this outing).

At the door, I knew I could go through, and still felt the texture change as I passed to the porch. Then I flew up to trees, enjoying freedom of flight once again. I swooped and dived, going higher and higher, until I realized I'm really not getting anywhere, and thought I might be losing awareness, so said ` Inward now!'

I felt an immediate shift in movement, turn around maneuvers, and a LONG backward pull. I was initially concerned that I didn't go anywhere because I ended up back on couch! (Prior to sleep, I did state my intention to use a false awakening should one occur.)

I heard noises like family members were up and moving, and heard my husband come down stairs, concerned he was coming to look for me on couch to get me to go back to bed. He came over to me and hugged me, but I just didn't move - pretending to be asleep despite my thoughts that I'm really awake.

At the point where my husband came to me and just `disappeared', I remembered this might be a false awakening and that I wanted to use it. So I `yelled' mentally out to my living room area, `is anyone there?" and was SO surprised to hear a small female voice say `yes, I am'. The voice was only heard in my left ear, as I clearly knew my head was on the pillow with my left ear down.

I asked her name, and couldn't understand her response at first, asked her to repeat it, and she said `Stephanie'. I could not see anyone, so I asked "what can I do for you, how can I help you?" not knowing anything about who I was talking to.

I was a bit shocked to see some small fingers and hand appear suddenly by my left ear, coming through the pillow! I remember something about `pins or needles' being stuck into the pillow by her fingers, but I don't know what that was about. I took her hand, and immediately I could see a young girl of about 10 years lying on the floor next to the couch, looking at me, holding my hand tightly.

She's telling me all about how bad she feels and how ugly she looks with all these `bumps' all over her. She appeared to be a very sick young girl, covered with chicken pox or small pox like bumps all over her body, and she was swollen and sick looking.

I can't remember exactly what I said to her, but she told me that this man had come to her and wanted her to go with him but she said no because she knew that meant she was going to die if she did. She held tightly onto a stuffed monkey, one with long thin arms and legs.

Somehow I was talking with her (can't recall what I said exactly!) and I mentioned `magic' and now had her attention. At that point, I said "come on, you can fly with me!" and we both took off out my living room window flying, still holding hands! I know I'm forgetting here a lot of what we did, but I know we had SO much fun doing it!

I do remember at one point flying with her and telling her that she could be anything she wanted to be, and she wanted to be beautiful – so I said," it's magic, look, you're beautiful! Look Stephanie, you're beautiful!" I was swinging her around and just have such a joyous time playing with her. She's smiling and glowing, and getting into the flying by herself now.

She and I were both in front of these two trees, and she said, "hey look, I'll race you up to the top of the tree!" So we both zoomed up, and sure enough she beat me, but at the top of my tree, I saw a `cradle' with a baby in it and thought `oh cute, it's rock-a-bye-baby-in the tree tops'! I showed Stephanie and gave her the baby doll that was in the cradle, but I also think it was an intuitive thought given that I needed to get Stephanie to other help.

The next I recall I'm tucking her into her own bed, with her pet stuffed monkey next to her. She's holding the new baby doll, and I'm covering her with this beautiful golden blanket. She's smiling and so happy and I'm feeling SO happy and content myself knowing she's so happy!

As I tuck her in, I see a young man come in off from the right to the side of the bed, as I tell Stephanie that this young man is going to take good care of her now and that when she wakes, she'll be just fine. (The young man was very familiar, had a `knowing' smile on his face, and a comforting feeling to his presence)

Everything faded to black, and I was just so happy and joyous I felt like crying! I still am so thankful for this chance to help and yet, I feel I also got something out of it! I couldn't thank the Universe enough for giving me this opportunity, and am so utterly amazed at what happened.

I am so glad I have people to share this with, as I truly can't begin to describe the feelings that were incorporated in this experience. Words just don't' do justice to the intensity and fullness of the experience, but I hope I've been able to convey just how emotional and joyous this experience was for me. I feel like I've been given such a wonderful gift with this experience!

51) Another Missed Opportunity with False Awakening

3/29/08

This morning I had the luxury of staying in bed for a while after awakening which is a rarity these days with my life schedule as it is.

The sun was already up and I put on my dark eye cover and relaxed back into a comfortable position, with the intent of going OOB. I even planned that WHEN I got out this time (setting of intent), I would exit the sliding door of the bedroom since I was not in my usual location (on the couch at night). I also asked that I be able to remember all and that if there was any help I could offer while OOB that I be shown what to do. I even placed my recorder in a different spot near the bed to be able to access it quicker and easier after awakening.

Well, as usual, ask and ‘ye shall receive’! Unfortunately, though, I feel I missed my opportunity to help, yet I try not to be too concerned as I feel I am still learning this strange new way of having a false awakening during which I meet others needing help.

I remember it took quite a while of visualization, including white light surrounding me, energy activations, and then taking my mind on a ‘virtual walk’ through a forest with a babbling stream environment that I love to do. I then became aware of the vibrations at some point, and was again happy to know I was about to get out.

However, this time, I also remember ‘playing’ with the vibrations for a bit, seeing what I could do with them. I am not sure what I was trying to do, but at one point I remember thinking, ‘oh well, that’s enough – time to get out!’

I was on my side, so I rolled over to my back and off the bed. Blind again as usual, I just dismissed it as routine and moved to the sliding door. Now, I also was so aware of my ‘physical’ shape, that I had the faintest thought that I could possibly NOT be OOB, just physically out of bed! I remember actually being able to touch and feel the walls and sliding door, and was for the faintest moment, concerned I would not be able to pass through such a ‘solid’ object.

However, due to my experiences previously, I also simultaneously KNEW that I WAS OOB, so my hand and body felt the ‘solidness’ but then felt it pass right through to the outside porch area. (I wanted to point this out as I feel it is a strong reminder that it is what you THINK things are, is what your mind will give you when OOB!)

I could ‘feel’ the brightness of the sun once outside and also remembered that my dog Buddy was sleeping on the porch furniture nearby. I thought, ‘gee, I guess this time he’s not aware of my presence because he’s awake’ as he made no attempt to move. (After fully awake I saw that Buddy was indeed on the porch furniture!)

At this point again, I wondered what to do! Since I now KNEW I was definitely OOB, I figured I’d jump off this second story porch and just take off! Funny thing, though, to get into position to jump, I distinctly remember having to ‘physically’ climb onto the porch railing!

I jumped, feeling the downward fall (surprisingly!) yet not concerned in the least. Coming within a few inches of the pavement, I said I have to do something constructive, so I affirmed ‘Inward now!’

I immediately started pulling back away from the house, watching it grow smaller and smaller, as I initially thought I’d pull back far enough to see the entire earth again. However, blackness enveloped me and I have only a foggy recall that something occurred at that point as a transition of sorts.

Now, I’m aware I’m back on my bed, slowly becoming aware. (Again, a false awakening starting here, but it was different in that I still felt this ‘altered mind state’ yet figured I had to be ‘waking’ since I was in my bed)

Now I could hear lots of noise and activity coming from a room just off the bedroom that sounded like my family members once again waking me up. This time, though, I know I heard other voices that vaguely sounded familiar, yet I couldn’t figure out who they could be. Realizing one was my sister I haven’t seen in a while, I just dismissed it as her coming to visit bringing others that I have not seen in a while as well.

So I roll over to where I had placed my recorder, and was surprised to find that not only was my recorder there, but there was a small radio and a TV remote there as well! I wondered who could have placed them there, and was a bit annoyed that it was taking me longer to get the recording going having to sort through all that was there. (Again, my focus at this time is always the fact that I have to record as quickly as possible as my recall of an OOBE is so fleeting)

Finding the recorder, I lie back on the bed sideways (unusual for me to do) and start recording the events of playing with the vibrations and getting OOB to the porch. Looking to my left, I see a room off the bedroom (that is not actually there!) where I know everyone is gathered, making the noise that woke me.

I see a young girl age 5-6 that is vaguely familiar. I know I have seen/met her before, and remember her as a very, very timid young girl. She’s wearing this ‘party’ wig of bright pink hair, yet I know her real hair color is blond. Her thin face and body is just as I ‘remembered’ it from before. She is sitting in this large straight-back chair, shaking her head ‘no’ in very small movements as if to tell me, ‘no, don’t come here to see me, don’t do anything’. I know she is easily frightened and timid, so I feel that continuing with my recording would be better than taking the chance of scaring her more.

It is at that time that I become fully aware I am really waking up and that this was all a false awakening again! I try very hard to relax back into that ‘altered mind state’ to reach the little girl, but to no avail. So I reached for the recorder and felt so ‘déjà vu’ when I starting recording the words that I know I already recorded in the false awakening!

Again, I feel I missed an opportunity to help someone, yet I also think I’m learning slowly how to ‘use’ this false awakening state of mind to perceive and interact with others who are receptive to my presence. Hopefully, with time and experience, I’ll figure out how to become more aware of the false awakening experience as it starts, not ends!

50) Two part OBE - Hotel room and retrieval

3/15/08

This occurred while I am on a short vacation in Myrtle Beach, SC. My first recollection was that I was in full vibrations, and can remember having them for a while prior to exiting. I believe this gave me the awareness that I was about to get out, but it took so much longer than usual to separate.

Finally I rolled over to my right and stood up, remembering I was in an unfamiliar room (hotel) and had to be sure that I really was OOB because it felt so ‘real’! I felt the ‘heaviness’ and saw a dim outline of the furniture in the room. It was very dark, but I was not totally blind as usual, and the hotel room appeared identical to IP (in physical), so I knew I was ‘out’.

Since it appeared to be my hotel room, I knew where the outside door was and headed for it. As I exited the hotel door, I saw it was no longer the hotel, but an older style house with a ‘many roomed mansion’ feeling to it (and yet I thought nothing of this change in scenery!)

I went out to the balcony railing (as is IP), but started jumping up onto the different gabled roofs of the mansion! My vision would dim at times, so I said ‘clarity now!’ (I recall I said it ‘out loud’ instead of thinking it!) It never became perfectly clear but it was enough to ‘see’ what I was doing.

After jumping around the roofs a bit, I flew to the trees, ‘physically’ feeling the branches and leaves, just to be sure I really was able to! I stayed exploring in the immediate area, then jumped to the ground and enjoyed just lying on the ground feeling the earth beneath me.

At that point, I stood up, thinking I had to do something constructive while OOB. I remembered I wanted to visit a friend, gave a little ‘hop’ to start the travel, and was disappointed to fall right back down. Somehow, I knew I was not going to be able to go at that time.

I quickly found myself back in bed in my hotel room, thinking I had awakened from the OOBE. Picking up my recorder from the bedside, I was dismayed to find the battery dead. I get up (not realizing I was still OOB!) looking for a spare battery I knew I brought in my suitcase. The suitcase was on other bed in the hotel room, just like IP. I even remember using the flashlight I keep at my bedside to look in my suitcase, same as IP!

I heard someone out in the hallway, thinking my bedroom door must be open. It sounded like a vacuum cleaner running or possibly a shower? I didn’t even think it was unusual because I knew I was a guest staying in someone’s house (who was very rich), so of course he would have servants who would be working overnight doing work to get things ready. I was not alarmed at all for some reason to have them here in my ‘hotel’ room!

An older heavyset black woman comes in (had a ‘servant’ feel to her), yet she was wrapped in towel like she just got out of a shower! Strangely, I think nothing of this! She calls me by name, asking, ”what’s the matter?” and I say, “I’m just fine, just looking for something I need”, never telling her it was a battery I was looking for.

She was partially clothed, yet wrapped in a towel, and was soaking wet, dripping water on my floor! I politely was trying to get her to leave, and said to her, “Look at you! You are dripping wet!” (I was slightly annoyed at the water dripping on the floor and the fact that I needed her to leave so I could get the battery into the recorder quickly as I was afraid I’d forget my OOBE just previous to this!)

She said “Oh dear! Ok….” and reached over to the TV cabinet (that is really there IP in the hotel room) and handed me a (wrong size-AA) battery for my recorder. I already had my own out by then, but was surprised she knew what I needed because I never did tell her directly what I was looking for!

As she left, going back out to the hallway, she was talking to someone saying, “Did you call the doctor yet?” and I had the feeling that a baby was sick so the doctor needed to be called. I went back to bed to record my OOBE but then woke up completely, realizing it was a false awakening!

(Interesting to note here that my son had called me earlier that night to let me know that he was taking my new granddaughter to the doctors as she was very sick!)

I also think the fact that I had the OOBE with the change from a hotel room to a rich person’s multi-roomed mansion was necessary for me to maintain calmness and ‘rationale’ thinking when I had the false awakening and discovered that there were other people in my area that I would be interacting with.

Could this perhaps have been a housekeeper that used to work here in the hotel? She had more of a ’modern feeling’ to her, and the room looked identical to my actual hotel room, but yet when I was OOB outside it was a mansion with a late 18th-early 19th century feel to it.

This was the first false awakening that actually had someone else besides my family in it. I believe it could be that the previous ones with family may have taught me how to remain in this consciousness level just a bit longer before fully awakening. Is it possibly a way of keeping me in a lower astral level just a bit longer so that I can interact with those who are ‘living’ in this near physical realm? That’s what I’m getting a feeling it could be for.

Another interesting point is that almost every false awakening lately (at least the last three or four), has involved my recorder malfunctioning in some way. This may be a key factor that I should keep in mind to make me become aware that I am in this near physical state of consciousness and perhaps be able to stay in this level longer in order to interact with others here, like the older black woman.

Going back to bed, there was a part two of this night - another OOBE, but not in the near physical as this one was. I believe it may have involved some sort of ‘retrieval’ for a very distraught young woman, but I am just not sure. I remember asking that I be able to help someone should I get out again.

I again found myself in vibrations, but this time in bed focusing on a window I saw at the foot of the bed (not there IP). I knew I just had to focus on going out the window to get ready. So I requested help and protection and I quickly became aware of a screen or curtain to the right side of my bed. I could see a flickering of light coming from behind it, and intuitively knew that someone would be entering the room from there, so I prepared myself for contact.

Walking into the room was a young woman, who moved and talked very quickly. She appeared distraught, and was speaking a language I did not understand (German or European type with hard g’s and k’s). Again I intuitively knew I was not supposed to understand her, as she walked to the left side of my bed. I was alarmed, but still remained calm as she places her hand between my legs, and I remember saying “no!” It was at that point, I realized she was an abused woman, and was trying to tell me something.

I was able to coax her to sit on the bed, keeping her talking, just listening but not understanding. Finally, she got to the point where I was able to hug her, and then I proceeded to cradle her like a baby. Surprisingly, I can now understand her words as she is speaking in English, and she is telling me about her special place in the woods where she would go to get away sometimes.

I felt concerned that I didn’t know how to correctly deal with this situation, yet I knew I had to make her become aware she was not here IP anymore. I said “tell me what happened the last time” and she didn’t understand me, giving me a puzzled look.
Now I’m really concerned, thinking I said something wrong, so I clarified my sentence by asking, “no, the last time you were in the woods, tell me what happened. It’s ok; you can tell me…what did you do there?” Again I intuitively had the feeling that the last time she went in the woods was when she committed suicide.

Unfortunately, when I asked that question, it is exactly when I started fading back to awareness! Now I’m concerned because I don’t know if I said the wrong thing or if I said enough for her to realize the last time she was in the woods that that is what happened.

I tried to lie there, in that semi-awake stage, to ask if I did right or wrong but did not get any kind of validation. This was a definite interaction with a distraught soul, but I am not sure of its ending. I am hoping that by calming her down enough to make her remember in a more rational thought process what she did the last time she was in the woods would enable her to deal with where she was at now and allow her to cross over completely. At least that is what I am hoping for, as I do not want to think I did more harm than good!

One last event I recorded was just before awakening the next morning, when I recall hearing words that knew to be very important and profound. All I could remember of it was the following that I recorded: “You have always had a clear and open channel to God/Universe….all we have to do is look for it. Every single person has it; many just don’t know to seek it, or chose to ignore it, or just don’t chose to use it.

49) Multiple exits OOBE

3/06/08

Well, it was quite the busy night for me!! Multiple exits - the most I can even remember in one night! I'm not sure what's going on, but I'm having more at a time, but less involved....

I was on the couch, again with the wish to travel to the Temple of Healing as my intention. I became aware the TV was on, (some comedy show) but also knew it probably wasn't really on. Then the vibrations started (I believe I somehow 'start' them when I know I'm ready). I was excited but stayed calm.

I strongly affirmed "out of body now!" and was able to sit up and roll out. I affirmed, "to the door!" and moved to the side door of my house, feeling the heaviness disappear. Then, "to the outside!" and while passing through the door, I was able to see my glowing white ethereal hand, a confirmation that I was definitely in the 'near-physical OOB' despite my knowing this already. (I always seek that extra validation for some reason!)

Now I'm on the porch, I say "clarity now!" and am able to see the trees and yard, much like it looks in IP. I wondered what to do now (not remembering my goal this time), and as I looked around I heard thunder, thinking, 'wow, is it going to rain?' At this point my dog Buddy came into room, making so much noise, I became fully awake on the couch, with no sign of rain or thunder in the area.

I attempted to reinduce, again with the intent of traveling to the Temple of Healing. Again, I became aware that I was now in a sitting position on the couch, and yet knowing that it's not my 'normal' position. So realizing I could get out, I just climbed over the back of the couch.

As with a previous OOBE, I was disoriented getting out that direction and felt some confusion as to whether I was really out or not. I affirmed, 'to the outdoors' and at the same time I DID remember I wanted to travel to the Temple of Healing, so I affirmed my intent. There was still some confusion, but I started spinning within, and then started to pull back as if to travel down the tunnel, but for some reason I thought I was becoming awake.

So now that I think I'm awake, I try to record my experience but noticed that the recorder was 'full' and not able to work. (Never had that happen before) So I had to get up off the couch to go to the computer to download what I had to empty it. While at the computer I noticed the outside porch light was on (saw it through my window by the computer) and wondered why I had forgotten to turn it off last night.

At that point, I actually became fully awake and saw I was still on couch! (so the move to the computer was OOB!) I am wondering if I'm not supposed to travel there at this time...but at least I remembered I wanted to!

Again I try to re-induce, but knowing that traveling to the Temple of Healing is not going to work, I set my intention on what William Buhlman always says is the best to do when OOB. That is to go "to my higher self".

This is the strange part for me. I absolutely know I was out and doing something, as I remember going over it in detail as I was pulling back to enhance recall. I know I recorded it, but for some strange reason, no recording was made! I remember talking into it, and I'm sure I used it correctly. I don't know if it was operator error or just didn't record.

Now, as I'm fully awake on the couch, I find I have lost everything! Not one detail of recall remains! So I attempted to relax back to recall but absolutely no details came back. There was such a 'blankness' that I have never experienced before! Maybe I wasn't supposed to 'remember' this? or maybe it was just not comprehensible to my awake mind?

I do remember that upon awakening fully from this experience, there was such a marked difference in the 'consciousness' sensation - it's tough to describe, but you actually feel the change in mentation.

Now for the fourth time, I attempt to re-induce and become aware of traveling down a road (a good signal for me that I'm ready to go out). So I continued on off the road and up into the trees, just looking around. This was more like astral vision with the observing of things, not that strong feeling of being OOB. I didn't remember to say where I wanted to go, as I felt as though I had little or no control anyway.

I found myself again in the black tunnel, backwards, traveling for a long, long, long time! There was the same vibrations as before, but I tried not to focus on them as I think that was what stopped me previously.

I continued on with the tunnel and finally said "I am at my destination now" to get it to stop! (That was Droxine's suggestion I did remember! - instead of "I go to....", I should say "I am AT...." to see if the travel time lessens. This isn't exactly how I intended to use it, but it did work in stopping the very long 'tunnel travel'!)

I immediately slowed down, and was looking at a huge multi-room house, much like a resort would have, but I feel this was residential houses. It was wintertime, as I saw snow on the yards and roads, lit by the streetlights.

It had a wealthy feeling to the area, with many large houses along the street. I personally felt as if I was sitting, traveling backward (slowly), in something I am not familiar with, possible a horse-drawn carriage. I wondered to myself if this was possibly a past-life experience I was watching?

We turned onto another street, and I tried to see if there was anything I could recognize. The crossroad we were at was familiar with a section where I live now, but the houses were very different.

We turned into a driveway on the right, and strangely, I could then feel branches(?) touching my right arm! It was an actual physical sensation, and I recall saying, "what is this?"

At that point, the scene melded into my daughter standing at the side of my bed, trying to wake me up, (which I thought was for real!) by touching my same right arm. I was diappointed that she stopped my travels and woke me, and she's asking me something that I can't understand. I ask her to repeat it 2-3 times, but still can't understand her words!

I'm also thinking I don't want to wake too much, because I wanted to recall the first part of my experience, so I then melded back into the dreamstate and was able to recall what I did initially.

I was surprised to find myself then fully awake, on the couch (not bed!) and discover that it was another false awakening, but within an experience. I am so confused as to why this happened! Why did she have to wake me (false awakened) during an actual travel? I just don't understand what's going on!

48) Another 'Almost there' OOBE

3/02/08

I have just returned from a trip with my son, wife, and grandchild and while I was in the hotel, I had another traveling experience, although again, it really wasn't much....and stopped MUCH too soon!!!

I am reading a book by Dolores Cannon about her regressions for the 'in-between' lives in the book called, "Between Death and Life". It's so interesting...and the chapter I had just finished there was about one person's travel to the Temple of Healing with the Chamber of Colors and Light...(a beautifully described place with gemstones and light that heals the etheric body)....as well as their visit to the Tapestry of Life. (Another more complex form of the Akashic records instead of a book/library)

I was so enthralled with its description that I thought I'd put in the intent to travel there. Amazingly, I was able to become aware I was 'getting out', but not in the near physical. I was aware of being at the top of a mountain, looking over the valley and trees below, and knowing I was able to continue on 'out' off the mountain and fly.

As I flew, my view of the trees and valley became more and more 'cloudy' as I felt I was being pulled backward. It was at this point that I was fully aware, and very conscious, that I could go wherever I wanted. I remembered easily that I wanted to go to the "Temple of Healing" and put in my affirmation as such.

The backward travel became faster, darker (as if through a tunnel), with physical vibratory sensations being felt on my left hip and head areas. I was very comfortable with the mode of travel (having done it many times) and was trying to keep my excitement (which I felt I did) to a minimum.

Just as the travel started to slow, I clearly heard a MUFFLED female voice say something, (about 4-5 words), but I could not understand any of it!! I remember asking, "please repeat!" knowing it was something important, and had the impression somehow it was about my 'breathing"(?) I was confused as I was not breathing any differently than usual - so maybe my impression was wrong, I just am not sure.

Unfortunately, right after hearing the words, I became fully aware - to the point of being awake! I was SO disappointed to find myself unable to get back to where I was....

Later, I again became aware of my hands being gently and loving caressed and can remember wondering who would be doing this - but also not wanting to move because it felt so good! At the same time, I could 'hear' the clockradio go off, playing the song "Amazing Grace", and wonder who set that alarm as I knew I didn't! At that point the hand massage and radio went was gone, and I realized it was a 'false awakening'.

I don't know if that was a consolation for not reaching my intended destination or not, but that was the extent of my travels for the rest of the night.

I'm happy I'm able to consciously remember my destinations, but Ihave not yet been able to get there!! lol

47) Moon Watch OOBE

2/21/08

I actually didn't know it was a lunar eclipse night, but I did know it was an 'important' full moon for some reason!

When I went to bed last night, I made a point of noticing how bright the moon was and that if I was to 'get out', I'd like to see how it looked from an OOB perspective....and guess what, I did!

It again, wasn't much in the sense of doing things, but I did consciously remember that I wanted to check out the moon!

Here's the experience:

I intended to ‘travel’ and having moved to the couch as usual, I did my usual energy raising and visualizations. I became aware first of a false awakening involving my daughter coming to the couch and talking to me about all sorts of random stuff, and not being sure if it was ‘real’ or not.

I then felt intense buzzing vibrations, much more than usual, and I knew I it was a false awakening and I could just climb out. Getting out though was not as easy as usual, having to pull myself out, kicking arms and legs to stand upright.

I felt very heavy, and it was very dark (as usual), and I found moving was difficult. While out, I thought I heard my daughter come down the hallway toward the bathroom and I thought it’d be interesting to follow her back to her bedroom. Moving again was difficult and the ‘clarity now’ affirmations were minimal in clearing my vision and ability to move.

I gave up trying to follow her and headed for the front door. Moving again was slow, and I tried to remember to ‘feel’ the change in texture as I exited it, but was not able to. It remained very dark, and I found myself outside, unsure of where I was!

Somehow I became aware of being up in a tree, as I could feel the sharp branches poking into me! It was quite a ‘physical’ sensation and very unusual to have. It felt like a pine tree, with the short little needles and spikes poking, and remembering I have these trees in my front yard, I figured I was just outside the house so I’d just shimmy down the trunk to the ground.

At this point I remembered that I wanted to check out the full moon. Looking up, I could see the moon in a distance, behind striated layers of clouds, and marveled at how beautiful and bright it was!

Having just read about opening your abilities to communicate by Leland, I tried to look for anyone to communicate with. I remember trying to be open to receiving but nothing was around. I still felt very heavy, a ‘low’ level of energy feeling and just faded back to awareness on the couch. Despite not ‘doing’ anything, I feel at least I did get to soak in the moonlight as I had wanted, and also remembered to try to be more open to any possibility of communication and receiving.

A second part to this experience happened shortly after returning. I became aware of being in a small room (hospital-like) and once again fumbling with my voice recorder. (However, the recorder I had in my hand was MUCH bigger than IP and had large buttons and dials). I was having difficulty in getting the recorder to shut off (I could hear my voice talking) as I was concerned I’d wake my husband who was sleeping in the bed in this room.

I became aware of someone standing at the doorway and hollered out, “Is someone there? Can I help you?” I could sense a presence there and followed her to the hallway. It was an older woman with disheveled grey hair in a nightgown. My first impression was that this was a mentally ill patient that I had possibly taken care of years ago.

I remember I kept repeating, “Can I help you? Do you need some help? Can I do something for you perhaps?” She said something like “perhaps it’s you that needs the help!” and my impression was that it was her way of saying ‘leave me alone, I don’t need any help.’ I followed her for a short distance as she walked away, and I was so aware I was not able to do anything to help her. At that point I faded back to the couch.

So this experience allowed me a few positive points: My ability to create an intention prior and follow through with it in the OOBE, to remember to 'look for' someone to communicate with (unsuccessfully it seems), and possibly to again try to help others with another unsuccessful assistance attempt.

46) Another Attempt to Connect

2/17/08 am

This was a relatively short experience and one that didn't 'feel' as profound as my previous, but I'm still sharing it as it was 'new' in a few respects.

Again, I had decided I'd like to try to 'connect' with my friend in the astral and so had that intention upon sleep.

The night started with a false awakening, thinking I had awakened in bed with the TV playing (which is very unusual for me- so I should have realized it was a false awakening at that point, but I didn't) and thought I heard my husband come home from a late dinner appointment. Waking shortly thereafter, I realized neither event had really occurred.

When I awoke later, at 3:33 to be exact, I went to the couch where I usually do my traveling, so as not to be disturbed by my husband who had come home in the meantime.

At this point I remember I had a series of rather unusual dreams, but they appeared to be 'work-related' so I didn't record them. (I really didn't want to get out of the 'feeling' I was in, so that was another major reason I didn't - yes, I know....ALL experiences need to be recorded! I do try....)

But I do still recall one segment that was unusual, and I didn't record. It had to do with both my grandmother (who is alive and well at age 93!) and Samara, my new granddaughter. It seems I was taking care of both of them, and they were 'put to bed' in the same bed to sleep.

I then was going to 'travel' myself and remember thinking about how I used the visualization of a rocking hammock to initiate separation at one time. Using this visualization of a rocking 'red' hammock, I actually go to the point where I knew my astral legs were out and I was buzzing. BUT, at the point of my anticipated separation, there was such a strong feeling that Samara was in danger! (This was almost like an OBE within a dream - different yet familiar feelings)

I very reluctantly, but decidedly, stopped the separation process to go check on her in the bed. Thankfully, I did, because with the lack of room in the bed (due to her great great grandmother's position) she was in danger of falling off the edge of the bed!

I remember at that point my grandmother woke up, and got up to help me find something I had dropped at the end of the bed while getting Samara, and I was suprised to see how agile she was.

My grandmother told me about a 'dream' she had that she was able to 'talk' with someone she longed to see again (I can't remember who it was), so I told her that it WAS possible to do this, and that she should go back and try to reconnnect with this person.

So, anyway, the next recall was that I again was getting the buzzing and separation sensations but this time being aware I was on the couch. (This time it was 'for real' in the sense it was not within a dream sequence as previous)

I remember just sitting up and climbing out, but over the back of the couch instead of standing along side as I usually do.

Because I climbed over the back, I felt disoriented and 'blind' as usual, but knew enough I had to move away. So I said 'to the outdoors!' (again unusual, as I almost always say 'to the door!') and found myself moving quickly to my front yard.

I recall as I passed through the front door, there seemed to be 'chime' or musical note I heard - again unusual.

Now I'm standing in the front yard, and still having difficulty 'seeing'. I am still a bit disoriented for some reason, and feeling like I'm in a hurry or have to do things very fast.

I can't recall what to say to 'see' better, but I know I want to go somewhere. So, in my hurry, I decided not to wait until my vision clears (it's improved but still not very clear) and take off. (Never have I had this 'hurry-hurry' feeling before!)

At this time, I remember that I really wanted to "find (friend)" and repeated this over and over as I gave a small jump. Just as I started to move up and backwards (as usual), I heard my brother's voice call out. It struck me that maybe I should go investigate what he is calling about, but my desire to "find (friend)" overrode any further thought of it.

So, I'm traveling up and backward into darkness, yet still 'seeing' forward as my house (which wasn't exactly my house in appearance) and trees are fading in front of me.

I hear one word, whispered to me, as I was moving backward - 'Come!' - and I do not know who said this!

The trees were in silhouette against a red-orange sunset as I moved backward and that was the last I recall seeing as I became fully awake on the couch.

Commentary for Experience #45

I just wanted to share some views from Kiauma, thank you for your thoughts!

KIAUMA writes:

Leland talks about the ultimate 'purpose' of it all. He says creation comes from the Divine, where it falls down to the gross physical level, then rises back to the divine as differentiated consciousness. Our souls are that 'differentiated' (individual) Divinity that raises back up.

I see all of your dreams supporting that in a variety of metaphors.

From the 'warnings' of the first dream ( not published here), to the hospital -> New building setting of the second dream, to the direct supporting experience of the third experience.

One key metaphor that keeps recurring is the one of food. Food is, literally, a sustenance. We are what we eat, so we must be careful what we eat, depending on what we want to be! You will also notice that entry to the new wing in dream #2 was made difficult by "dog food" in and around the entrance - indeed!

Also in dream #2 you were able to 'feed' one of the entities something to 'help' him. This is significant because of the dream setting, especially in relation to everything else in the dream, strengthening the link between 'food', sustenance, and the self.

Often, when we dream of a building, it is metaphorical of our self, or at least can be looked at that way (dreams often have layers of meanings, but I will concentrate on this one). Notice it is the 'old' part of the hospital that harbors the negative entity - this could symbolize some element of your shadow self, something to be 'left' if you are able to move into the building that is 'under construction'...?

In short - keep doing what you are. You are at a critical transition in perspectives. Be careful what you 'eat' - the information and worldviews you allow yourself to consume, as your hard won spiritual views and values could still be weakened by cynicism, negativity, or other shortsighted, careless, or outright mean views.

45) Two Part OOBE - Gratitude

2/10/08

Both of these experiences happened the same night - with only enough time for me to record Part one before lapsing into Part two!!

I also want to say that I did 'request' some help from the Universe with regard to my recent feelings of being overwhelmed with my IP life and fear of not having time to attend to my 'other life' OOB....so I guess this was to show me that I still am 'working' hard, both IP and OOB!

I don’t even know how to begin to explain this first ‘dream’ event, and I recall I was not even going to record it as it didn’t feel as though I would be able to properly describe what I could remember. There are some details, yet so much was lost to translation and awakening. However, I am SO glad I did record it as it was an important prelude to a most wonderful OOB experience!

PART ONE -

The first recall I have is that I am going to all these different rooms helping people in this building that felt like a ‘hospital-type facility. I especially recall two rooms where these ‘entities’ lived – I call them entities because I knew they were not ‘real people’ and yet they were not spirit form either. Actually, with both of these, I don’t recall any shape or form whatsoever associated with them.

The first room was described as a ‘haunted’ room (best translation I can give) where people would go to talk to this one corner where such strong ‘energy’ lived. I knew that it was ‘more’ than I could deal with, yet I wanted to keep trying to do something to help.

Other people were allowed to go there to try to work with it, so when I asked to see this room, I remember someone was standing with me at the doorway of the room. I could feel tremendous negative, dark, strong energy pulsating from the corner of that room, the same ‘radiant heat’ type waves that I had felt from a previous OOB experience with negative energy. I remember I tried to communicate with it but felt bad when I couldn’t do anything to help and had to walk away.

I went on to other people and other rooms that I could help, and the only other room I remember is where this ‘invalid-type’ long-term chronic entity resided. I can’t really described exactly what it was except that I felt it was one who was solely dependent upon the services of the workers there at the facility to survive.

With this entity I was able to help, as I remember being able to give him some ‘food’ of sorts and alter his nourishment in some way that I felt would help. It was at this time that I realized I‘m there in this ‘doctor/nurse’ type role and was assisting the residents of the facility.

The workers who were there were SO thankful for my presence there and my help. I felt I was just stopping by and offering my assistance, yet they were so appreciative of what I was doing (I only wish I could recall exactly what I was doing there!)

I remember that just as I was leaving this one building where the ‘dark entity’ lived, I wanted to stop by his room just to say goodbye. I remember peeking in the doorway, being polite, and saying “I just wanted to say goodbye, I’m leaving now”. I felt a short little ‘blast’ of energy come at me, as I attempted one more time to ‘break through’ to it. I doubted it would work, but just had to try one more time before leaving.

I started to walk back into another building that was still under construction that was felt to be an ‘extension’ of the existing building I had just left. Upon entry to this building I remember meeting some workers who were leaving for the day, who hollered for me and wanted to say good night and thanks again for all my help. I hollered back ‘you’re welcome’ and had such a wonderful satisfied feeling of having been some sort of help there.

Before walking into the new building, I had to step around and step over stuff that looked like ‘dog food’ of some sort on the ground, and made a funny comment to the worker there about how difficult it was to get inside this other building, but it wasn’t impossible.

I am accompanied by a doctor I work for (in real life), and felt like I was on his level, which I believe was just to show me what capacity I was there in. Other people walked in and I attempted to tell them that the individuals they were looking for were in the other building, as this one was still under construction.

I left there with such a light, jovial, satisfied and contented feeling – happy knowing I was able to be of assistance to these individuals.

PART II - Near Physical OOBE

I was on the couch and became aware of the light buzzing sensation, being aware I was about to get OOB. I felt my legs lift and move, and then just rolled out off the couch and was standing there. As usual, it was dark, but yet I knew to say ‘to the door’ at which time I was immediately at the door, with a ‘lighter’ sensation having moved away from my IP body.

Not remembering what I wanted to do, I then said ‘to the stoop!’ which brought me outside on the front porch stoop. I said ‘awareness now!’ and was amazed at the clarity of vision I had. I stood there, admiring my same front yard, at night, but so much prettier because everything had such a beautiful ‘glow’ about it.

Again, I figured I’d just ‘take off’ and bent down to do the usual little ‘jump’ to start flying. As I do this, I hear off to my right, the most beautiful voice I have ever heard call my name, apologize for interrupting me, and asked if I could talk with her for a little while. I was taken aback and stunned at her ‘presence’ that I was actually frozen in mid-take off stance!!! lol There was such a strong feeling of peace, love, and expansiveness feeling emanating from her!

I never asked her name, just somehow knew who she was. There was no ‘form’ associated with her so I could not give any description of her features. We sat together and she said she wanted to talk with me about my ‘work’ and where I had been. She was so appreciative and grateful for the work that I had done (now I’m associating this with my just previous ‘dream’ experience with the ‘hospital’ facility) and wanted to express her thanks, but it was in such a profusely powerful way that made me feel so good!

She said that I had exceeded all expectations and with a smile said she just would like to ‘send me back there to work – forever’ because I did such outstanding work. I told her that I enjoyed doing it just as much, but felt she already knew that.

She said, “I do want to tell you though that the ‘vegetative one’ (best translation I could make) did ‘move on’ and would not be there” when I went back. But I did such good work and there was so much more do to there. The grateful, appreciative feeling was so immense, coming both from of us during this conversation.

She’s now giving me these papers to read, to take with me, and I remember asking, “am I going to have these when I wake up?” knowing that I was OOB and could not bring them back. I was wondering how I could get this ‘reading’ material back with me when she says, “well, I’m hoping you are recording this”.

Sitting next to her, I knew I had my recorder in my hand, and am trying desperately to put it back together as it had fallen apart in pieces! Now I’m upset that I can’t get it put back together fast enough!!

At some point she’s telling me so many other things, but all I remember is seeing the words to a short little song that I recall knowing from somewhere. She started to sing this short little song to me, in the most wonderfully sweet voice that I have ever heard! It was like ‘soda’(?) names, rhythmic-like words similar to “Thank Pop, Thank God, Thank Rock…..” with another line I don’t remember – it just made me feel SO good!

Off to my right, my best friend comes up and starts talking about how ‘good I am’, how I give so much of my time to others, and such things. She telling this ‘woman’ (and myself) how I do so many things, including things I do that I shouldn’t do – like eating shrimp…(this is a standing joke with my friend and myself – as I am severely allergic to shrimp and can find it in the most unusual places – having a major reaction that she usually has to deal with! lol)

The woman did say I had to take care and be careful about what I do eat. I felt I was being told to be more aware of what I am eating and how I am eating.

The most awesome part of this entire experience is the feelings that I had throughout the experience. Such gratitude, happiness, and peacefulness that surrounded everything just cannot be put into words!

(See next blog post for commentary)

44) Pulling Pieces Together OOBE

2/01/08 6:30am

I went OOB again this morning after awakening, just for a short travel, but again it was with a new transition to it. I really think now, that all the 'pieces' are coming together - the 'false awakenings', the out-of-sync feelings, the repeated questioning of 'is it real' or is it IP? - the knowing of what it 'feels' like (I guess my energy perceptions...)

Driving home from graduate school last night, late and it's dark and a good 30 minute ride - I had the time to think, and made the observation that 'gee, this could easily be a prelude to OOB' - BUT - it is such a different 'feel' to my questioning that I had NO concern at all that it was IP. (Don't worry, I'm not becoming confused as to what 'state of consciousness' I'm in!)

I just used it as an example to compare to my OOB 'questioning' of reality - which made a lightbulb go on in my head. There IS a difference in 'feeling' to tell when you are IP or OOB - and the mere fact that you actually take a second to stop and 'question reality' will tell me that I AM ready to go out. (Is this making sense??)

By having all those false awakenings and real IP scenes in the prelude to OOBs actually helped me make this perception of consciousness easier now.

So, this morning I became aware I was doing something at my Mom's house outside, playing games with children and a ball - and ran to go get it when it went into the neighbors yard. At the point I was crossing the stone wall (that is there IP), I stopped for a second and wondered, "am I really here or not?" which immediately made me remember that anytime I'm questioning reality like that, to just try to 'take off' because I am usually OOB.

(I also figured if I wasn't I'd just jump and fall down - not too bad a price to pay for the chance to OOB!)

So I jumped, and took off! Such flying freedom again, I just wish you could be there too! I actually played around with the ball and as it came down, tried to catch it with my feet, upside down! lol

The next I remember I'm carrying this young girl - I related it to my daughter at age 3-4, yet it didn't look like her - so I'm actually thinking this may have been me (!) - is that possible? I'm showing her how to fly and how much fun it is - I even 'flipped' her over to show the freedom but she got scared so I stopped and apologized for the scare.

We went into a house with many room, but I can only recall the last room, an old attic type room with lots of 'fixtures' and 'stuff'. We were outside the door, peering in, and I'm telling her it's the 'astral room' with all stuff you use when you go to the astral.

We never went inside and the experience faded shortly thereafter - but one other thing I remember was that my 'talk' with the young girl was nonverbal (of course), yet was in an 'adult' language, not in a normal language you would use for a 3-4 year old.

COMMENTARY: Again with this experience, the transition was the new development for me. Becoming more sensitive to what I am feeling is my key to further travels.

As always, you wonder why you have such experiences as 'false awakenings' and confusing with perception while OOB, but in the end, you find the Universe has an orderly plan to put it all together for a very good reason! I am excited to know that I am progressing as planned, and am looking forward to even more wonderful experiences!