It's been a long time since I've posted here, not because my experiences have stopped, but because there isn't much 'productivity' in what I am remembering! In hindsight, though, I realize perhaps there are some things that others can learn from, so I've taken the time to write up the last three experiences in one post. As always, please feel free to email me if you have any insight or comments!
5.16.09
This experience began with the usual false awakening in that I heard my husband come down to the couch where I was sleeping and lean over me, as if to talk. Keeping very still and not responding, I was able to realize I was close to exiting.
I rolled out and moved quickly out the front door to the rooftop, as I wanted to experience the freedom of flying again. I was on top of a very tall building now, and could see to the street below, knowing full well that I could ‘dive over’ the edge without fear….so I did! I did say ‘clarity now!’ a few times, but without much effect. I don’t have a lot of recall, but I remember a helicopter flew by at one time, and I was going in and out of the clouds….
The second exit this night I felt I was out a very long time. Initially I remember seeing people go by in the room. At one point I took a woman’s hand and asked, please take me to see N.J.! The next I recall was hearing what sounded like breakfast being eaten, with the clinking of a bowl and talking back and forth between a man and woman. I couldn’t see anyone, but remember I then went outside the house and saw some gardens. (These actions, although very vague, were validated as a possible connection.)
Having read about energy points we all have surrounding us, I attempted to reach out to the front where I was told one was located. Nothing happened. I then reached out to my left, and as soon as I touched what felt like warmth, I quickly moved up and out of body to my dining room and out the window! It all happened so fast, as if I was full of energy!
I’m flying around and at one point, there was what I thought felt like trembling of an earthquake and I couldn’t tell what was real and what wasn’t anymore! I am not sure what happened as my recall again is very limited and the experience faded shortly thereafter.
Again, I remember fumbling with the recorder, and when things were not going right, knew I was not fully awake and pulled myself to a more conscious awareness in order to record what little I remember.
5.25.09
This experience was more of a lucid dream recall in that I was not aware of any exit or control of my situations. There may be a bit of symbolism here as I found my front yard covered with hardened lava from a volcanic eruption. Trenches were being dug into the hardened lava, and there were men there working diligently to get these trenches dug.
At some point in this dream I remember an explosion that occurred…no other information except that I could physically feel the ‘impact’ of it happening!
Walking along one ‘trench’, I knew that on one side I had all my good ‘plants’ that were now covered with this hardened lava, but I was content to know that at least they were ‘safe’. Now I knew it was time to start digging them back up, and I wasn’t sure how to go about it! I remembered thinking that at least it was nice cool weather for this type of hard work!
5.27.09
My first recollection after ‘waking’ was that my arms and legs were floating all about, my usual signal that it’s time to roll out. However, I found I just couldn’t move! I eventually was able to just ‘push’ myself off the couch, and rolled onto the floor, flat on my face!
Moving slowly and heavily over to the dining room, I knew I could just move down into the earth by ‘intention’ since I was so low anyway! As I started, I realized there was not much below me (in my basement) or the earth that I wanted to see so with that thought, quickly found myself back on the couch.
The next few exits were also not very productive but I will share them anyway. I actually am not even sure in which order these next exits occurred but I will at least show what happened with each.
During one exit, I remember I tried calling out for ‘Richard’ (my guide’s name – see blog #78 ) in hopes he could help me separate easier. I held my arms up, hoping to feel my hands being held, and needing to know that my guides are with me. I didn’t get any response that I can recall.
In another exit, I remember how difficult it was to move, and that as I passed through the glass on my side door (as I have done easily before), I could actually ‘feel’ the glass stretch with me not allowing me to pass through easily!
With another exit, I also remembered to try to ‘reach out’ for the energy centers that surround me, feeling for the one in front and to the left (the one that worked before!). This time, nothing happened, and I even remember trying to reach for both at the same time in order to ‘make a circuit’ in hopes that it would help. But, this time…nothing.
At some point, I became aware that my arms and legs were floating again and found myself out easily this time, thinking and ‘seeing’ so clearly! I got outside and knew I wanted to go visit a particular person. I found myself in a very long pullback, one where I am traveling backward, up high, watching the different scenes fade away as if I am moving rapidly. It appeared to be various cities and countries that I was moving away from. At one point I remembered I could just ‘think’ of where I wanted to be and didn’t have to travel this long distance with the pullback.
With that, I dropped to a street level, watching these ‘Michelangelo’ type statues (Italian feel) moving about on bikes on a street. There were people all around, and my next recollection was of a small Italian type villa I moved into.
The small room had a Mediterranean feel (mix of Italian, French, Spanish) and there was a heavy wooden table in the center, with an older man and young boy standing by (waiter-type feeling). I felt I was to meet someone here, and started calling out for my friend I wanted to meet. I distinctly remember standing at the doorway calling out his name!
My next recall was sitting at that table, with two men – one ordering a tall light red colored drink with ice, and the one male telling me that only I was able to share this drink with him. There was much more, but my recollection didn’t allow me to recall any more except that there was more!
Another exit I found myself on the front porch with such clear thinking and knew I was able to do anything I wanted to do! I even remember how easily it was to pass through the front door, feeling the change in ‘cool air’ once outdoors. A long pullback occurred, but this time I ended up at a picnic type event, one with a red, white and blue (patriotic) theme.
I was having such fun, and felt that this was the type of event I wanted to be able to organize for my own community. It would be something for the people to come together and have fun and I felt it would be easy enough for me to do!
The night once again ended with my fumbling with my voice recorder, and again knowing that I was not fully awake. I tried to impress my key words (from the experiences) into my consciousness, as I forced myself more fully awake to find the recorder. Alas, upon full awakening, all I had left were these few memories in bits and pieces that I have to tried to piece back together again!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
104a) Comments - discussion
I thought I'd post a copy of the comment section that added some discussion about the experience. Please feel free to add anything via comments or email. The more we share, the more we learn! Thanks Jurgen, Dave, & Phil!
Hi Karen, this is really fascinating. In my own experience blindness occurs, when I haven’t quite moved out of the physical energy field, which means you are in an in-between state. You can’t see either the physical nor the non-physical, as you are not quite in the next dimension close to the physical. Once I make the transition into to next dimensional counterpart, the sight returns, but I don’t see any longer the physical. Have you noticed that sometimes it may look like your physical room, but things are slightly different such as a carpet where there isn’t one in the physical? This is generally a good indication that one has made the transition into the next dimensional counterpart of the physical.
Interesting concept, however, how does this explain that sometimes I am totally 'blind', yet by affirming 'awareness now!' or 'clarity now!' I am then able to see?! Maybe this affirmation just moves me more fully into the proper 'vibrational' status to see. I also think there are times I just am not meant to see, as it is more important that I develop my 'other senses' by not relying on vision as much.
I think you are right, affirmation puts you clearly into the right mode. I noticed this also applies to other things, if there are barriers or such. In my case vision seems to be the primary focus although I have experienced taste and smell.
Yes, also, I understand what you mean by things are never fully the same as in physical, This is an observation I made lots of times and led me to conclude that we are then in a higher dimensional counterpart which is partly influenced by our thought or those of other people, here in physical or over there. I wonder whether you have noticed when you went higher up that you thought you knew the place, identifying it solely by its atmosphere, perhaps as a certain place such a a specific town, although it was unrecognisable, looking different etc, but still "feeling" like the place you knew.
only a vague similarity, enough to 'remind' you that you are out! I use the differences I find as another 'signal' that helps me remain in full awareness of the fact that I am definitely out of body, as I still have many times when I question that possiblity! A big learning for me occurred when I made the realization that if I ever 'question' my OOB status, that would definitely be a signal that I was!! When you are 'in physical', there is NO question that you are!! lol This is a really obvious and good trick and quite frankly it has never really occurred to me.
Interesting too that you could feel the “arms of the chair”. You most definitely felt the arms of the astral counterpart of the physical chair. It’s impossible to physically feel the physical chair when out of the body although one can still get a sensation of the physical in very much the same way as “psychics” get a sensation of non-physical things. So when you “physically” felt something its a good indication that you felt the astral counterpart of the chair. I just assume that its an indication that I am not 'fully' into the higher vibrational status, because I am able to 'retain' my memory of physical touch yet also move through things! IMO, there are many 'levels' of vibrational existence, I refer to these as dimensions, but I am sure its the same thing and (what is memory anyway?)
and we can go through multiple levels each time we exit. I never know until I'm out if I'm going to be in the lower, heavier state, or the much fun, lighter, free-er realm! Sometimes I get a mix of many!
The other thing that was very interesting was that you were aware of a beautiful summer day, which could have been the scenery on the next dimension, but the “blindness” which I think is caused by etheric matter still clinging to you after separation, prevented you from breaking through. I really wonder whether it is also this “etheric” matter causing the difficulty in moving about when separating from the body. It seems to be a gluey substance which needs to be broken to enter the next dimension freely. Now this is an interesting concept, and perhaps another 'reason' for the different levels as described above. Not only are there multiple vibrational realms of existence, but it woud also depend upon the level of 'etheric matter' you bring with you. IMO, this level of 'etheric matter' may depend upon your physical state upon exit, your current 'belief system', or any other subconscious/conscious thoughts you have at that time! I agree with you. Curiously I only experienced those things when I first started out thirty odd years ago, I seem to snap through these and wonder whether meditation has something to do with it.
Fascinating to read about another entity near you. I always refer to it as my “silent companion”. They never seem to say much, but generally there seems to be a feeling that one is in good hands. No doubt they’re having fun watching us. Yes, many times I 'sense' the silent companion with me, or perhaps even with the others who come to me. It's an understanding you have while out and moving about that they are there for assistance should you need it, and many times I have if you read the blog! (I'll never forget the words, 'Shields up!' that were firmly stated when I met that negativity in one experience! -- #59 June 2008) Have you ever seen him or her and if so did you recognize them as your "silent companion". Are the always the same person or people? For many experiences, the male silent companion has been the same one and I finally did learn his name in another OBE (see # 78). There has also been a familiar female companion many times, however, her identity is not known.
Interesting your conversation with the woman. I once listened (out-of-body)to my brother having a conversation with his college at his work 1200 miles away. It was as if I was right next to them and listened attentively to every word of the very technical conversation. I even wondered whether it would have been fun to memorize it and tell my brother, but decided in the end that it wasn’t worth the hassle as my brother doesn’t believe in this “mambo-jumbo”.It is easy to tune into the general thought content of the atmosphere which sounds like talking or listening to several radio stations at once. Like Dave, I wonder whether you tuned into an incarnate woman’s mind or whether you made contact with a discarnate person? That 'radio' voice, or voices, is a common occurence many times and I have just learned to use it as a signal that I am about to exit. Initialy I used to think it was just the TV that was left on, but now I assume it is just the 'noise' of the universe as I can tell it's not directed at me or talking to me. Some people say its tuning into global thought frequency just before exit.
From Dave - Any idea who this woman is? A living person? A past person? A currently non-living person? I have no idea who this particular woman was, only that she needed help in some way. I am assuming it is one who may not even be aware she is 'passed on' and is living in a world of her own creation, similar to her life on Earth, in which all her desires and thoughts are realized.
It is a type of 'belief system' realm that keeps some souls from moving on, due to their inability to be 'open' to other possibilities. I had no 'visual' information, only 'sense' and touch. I just felt she needed to be guided to look for help in order to unlock her 'beliefs' that kept her there.
For my own benefit: what would you say was your sense of awareness during most of this? Like it is in a dream? Like a lucid dream? Like normal life? More awake then normal life? Honestly, it depends on the type of OBE it is!! You will see lately it's been 'near-physical' and very heavy sensations, where the degree of lucidity, control, and clear thoughts are limited. The higher experiences, where I am in a higher vibrational state and feel lighter and free-er, then the awareness level and thought processes are so clear!
What is interesting that is that my awareness is much like it is while fully awake! That's what people don't realize when they believe it's a 'dream' or get OOB. It is dismissed as not 'real' because there is little difference in their 'thinking' while awake, and those while OOB!
How do you distinguish an actual OBE from a dream? Or do you consider them both potentially equally real, yet different than waking reality? Tough to describe the difference, but you just KNOW there is one. Many times, however, there is little difference as well!! Honestly? It's easier if you don't try to analyze what's going on...if you find yourself in what you think is a dream, then it'll be a dream. If you take that dream, and become aware within it, then you can convert it to an OBE if you so wish! Again, it's your perceptions and beliefs that guide what you feel and do...the best I can say is to just 'let go', don't analyze so much, and believe in what you are doing!
Hi Karen, this is really fascinating. In my own experience blindness occurs, when I haven’t quite moved out of the physical energy field, which means you are in an in-between state. You can’t see either the physical nor the non-physical, as you are not quite in the next dimension close to the physical. Once I make the transition into to next dimensional counterpart, the sight returns, but I don’t see any longer the physical. Have you noticed that sometimes it may look like your physical room, but things are slightly different such as a carpet where there isn’t one in the physical? This is generally a good indication that one has made the transition into the next dimensional counterpart of the physical.
Interesting concept, however, how does this explain that sometimes I am totally 'blind', yet by affirming 'awareness now!' or 'clarity now!' I am then able to see?! Maybe this affirmation just moves me more fully into the proper 'vibrational' status to see. I also think there are times I just am not meant to see, as it is more important that I develop my 'other senses' by not relying on vision as much.
I think you are right, affirmation puts you clearly into the right mode. I noticed this also applies to other things, if there are barriers or such. In my case vision seems to be the primary focus although I have experienced taste and smell.
Yes, also, I understand what you mean by things are never fully the same as in physical, This is an observation I made lots of times and led me to conclude that we are then in a higher dimensional counterpart which is partly influenced by our thought or those of other people, here in physical or over there. I wonder whether you have noticed when you went higher up that you thought you knew the place, identifying it solely by its atmosphere, perhaps as a certain place such a a specific town, although it was unrecognisable, looking different etc, but still "feeling" like the place you knew.
only a vague similarity, enough to 'remind' you that you are out! I use the differences I find as another 'signal' that helps me remain in full awareness of the fact that I am definitely out of body, as I still have many times when I question that possiblity! A big learning for me occurred when I made the realization that if I ever 'question' my OOB status, that would definitely be a signal that I was!! When you are 'in physical', there is NO question that you are!! lol This is a really obvious and good trick and quite frankly it has never really occurred to me.
Interesting too that you could feel the “arms of the chair”. You most definitely felt the arms of the astral counterpart of the physical chair. It’s impossible to physically feel the physical chair when out of the body although one can still get a sensation of the physical in very much the same way as “psychics” get a sensation of non-physical things. So when you “physically” felt something its a good indication that you felt the astral counterpart of the chair. I just assume that its an indication that I am not 'fully' into the higher vibrational status, because I am able to 'retain' my memory of physical touch yet also move through things! IMO, there are many 'levels' of vibrational existence, I refer to these as dimensions, but I am sure its the same thing and (what is memory anyway?)
and we can go through multiple levels each time we exit. I never know until I'm out if I'm going to be in the lower, heavier state, or the much fun, lighter, free-er realm! Sometimes I get a mix of many!
The other thing that was very interesting was that you were aware of a beautiful summer day, which could have been the scenery on the next dimension, but the “blindness” which I think is caused by etheric matter still clinging to you after separation, prevented you from breaking through. I really wonder whether it is also this “etheric” matter causing the difficulty in moving about when separating from the body. It seems to be a gluey substance which needs to be broken to enter the next dimension freely. Now this is an interesting concept, and perhaps another 'reason' for the different levels as described above. Not only are there multiple vibrational realms of existence, but it woud also depend upon the level of 'etheric matter' you bring with you. IMO, this level of 'etheric matter' may depend upon your physical state upon exit, your current 'belief system', or any other subconscious/conscious thoughts you have at that time! I agree with you. Curiously I only experienced those things when I first started out thirty odd years ago, I seem to snap through these and wonder whether meditation has something to do with it.
Fascinating to read about another entity near you. I always refer to it as my “silent companion”. They never seem to say much, but generally there seems to be a feeling that one is in good hands. No doubt they’re having fun watching us. Yes, many times I 'sense' the silent companion with me, or perhaps even with the others who come to me. It's an understanding you have while out and moving about that they are there for assistance should you need it, and many times I have if you read the blog! (I'll never forget the words, 'Shields up!' that were firmly stated when I met that negativity in one experience! -- #59 June 2008) Have you ever seen him or her and if so did you recognize them as your "silent companion". Are the always the same person or people? For many experiences, the male silent companion has been the same one and I finally did learn his name in another OBE (see # 78). There has also been a familiar female companion many times, however, her identity is not known.
Interesting your conversation with the woman. I once listened (out-of-body)to my brother having a conversation with his college at his work 1200 miles away. It was as if I was right next to them and listened attentively to every word of the very technical conversation. I even wondered whether it would have been fun to memorize it and tell my brother, but decided in the end that it wasn’t worth the hassle as my brother doesn’t believe in this “mambo-jumbo”.It is easy to tune into the general thought content of the atmosphere which sounds like talking or listening to several radio stations at once. Like Dave, I wonder whether you tuned into an incarnate woman’s mind or whether you made contact with a discarnate person? That 'radio' voice, or voices, is a common occurence many times and I have just learned to use it as a signal that I am about to exit. Initialy I used to think it was just the TV that was left on, but now I assume it is just the 'noise' of the universe as I can tell it's not directed at me or talking to me. Some people say its tuning into global thought frequency just before exit.
From Dave - Any idea who this woman is? A living person? A past person? A currently non-living person? I have no idea who this particular woman was, only that she needed help in some way. I am assuming it is one who may not even be aware she is 'passed on' and is living in a world of her own creation, similar to her life on Earth, in which all her desires and thoughts are realized.
It is a type of 'belief system' realm that keeps some souls from moving on, due to their inability to be 'open' to other possibilities. I had no 'visual' information, only 'sense' and touch. I just felt she needed to be guided to look for help in order to unlock her 'beliefs' that kept her there.
For my own benefit: what would you say was your sense of awareness during most of this? Like it is in a dream? Like a lucid dream? Like normal life? More awake then normal life? Honestly, it depends on the type of OBE it is!! You will see lately it's been 'near-physical' and very heavy sensations, where the degree of lucidity, control, and clear thoughts are limited. The higher experiences, where I am in a higher vibrational state and feel lighter and free-er, then the awareness level and thought processes are so clear!
What is interesting that is that my awareness is much like it is while fully awake! That's what people don't realize when they believe it's a 'dream' or get OOB. It is dismissed as not 'real' because there is little difference in their 'thinking' while awake, and those while OOB!
How do you distinguish an actual OBE from a dream? Or do you consider them both potentially equally real, yet different than waking reality? Tough to describe the difference, but you just KNOW there is one. Many times, however, there is little difference as well!! Honestly? It's easier if you don't try to analyze what's going on...if you find yourself in what you think is a dream, then it'll be a dream. If you take that dream, and become aware within it, then you can convert it to an OBE if you so wish! Again, it's your perceptions and beliefs that guide what you feel and do...the best I can say is to just 'let go', don't analyze so much, and believe in what you are doing!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
104) Help by Holding a Hand
Hi everyone! I finally have another OBE to share with you and its interesting how the fact that my other 'near-physical' OBE's were just a prelude to why I needed to learn how to use this state of awareness.
5.7.09 Holding Hand Retrieval
I moved to the couch and intended to get OOB, as it has been long stressful few weeks for me, and my physical life needs would always override my ability or strong intention to get OOB.
This time, however, as life is beginning to settle a bit (or I’m just dealing with it better! lol) I wanted to try once again. Soon after getting into the hypnagogic state, and possibly even falling asleep, I became aware of hearing voices.
It feels as though I’m listening to a radio station, with voices and conversations that do not have anything to do with me. This slight awareness allows me to focus a bit more on my ‘physical’ sensations, and I realize there is the vibrational tingling and my legs begin to float.
This is my usual signal that I’m ready to separate, but once again, it feels so ‘heavy’ I cannot do my usual rollout. I have to push myself upright to a sitting position, still feeling the tingling, so I know I’m separating.
I am unsteady at first, as it’s been a while since I’ve been out! I pull myself to move away from my body, and I’m not very ‘clear’ on my thinking and remember I have to affirm ‘to the door!’ and try to get my thoughts in the right ‘frame’ so I can move.
I affirm ‘to the door!’ a few times, knowing the direction of the front door, but end up having to ‘physically move’ my legs to walk in that direction. As I pass the living room chairs, I reach out and can physically FEEL the arms of the chair, and as I pass between them I know there is a coffee table that I am passing through!!
I can feel the texture change as I pass through the table, yet I can still reach out and ‘physically’ feel the edge of the coffee table! That was most unusual for me!!
As I got to the front door, I opened it as I would have if I was in physical. On the front porch, I could feel the change to ‘cool air’ and then realized I didn’t have to open that door that way! It is pitch black with no vision at all, only an ‘awareness’ of what is out there.
I am suddenly startled to hear the slamming of two car doors, and ‘sense’ two people getting out of car in my driveway. There is only one female talking, and I heard something like ‘What do you think, Alfred?” as if she was talking to the other one who got out of the car with her.
I wonder who is coming, but remained calm enough to ask, ‘Who’s there?’ as they approached. She answered me with her name, but I cannot recall what it was, and I know I asked her at least three times to repeat it because her speech was not clear. (I believe it was similar to Lisette, or Lisa, but I am not sure.)
She continue to talk, loudly and animatedly, and I remember thinking that I’m not understanding a lot of what she is saying and am asking her to repeat many times.
I then took a special note to listen intently at one point, and I clearly heard what is medically termed ‘flight of ideas’, as in her conversation/answer was not appropriate nor understandable in terms of what she was trying to convey. I felt immediately that this was an educated woman in her thirties, with some sort of mental instability, yet very pleasant and easy to get along with.
I engaged her in conversation right where I was, standing on the sidewalk in front of my house. I could still see nothing except darkness, yet I sensed who she was but can give no physical details for a description. The conversation was difficult at first, with the words she spoke that did not appear to have meaning or context.
However, I was guided to take her right hand in my left hand, and I could then PHYSICALLY feel that sensation of holding her hand! Just the same as I did when I physically felt the chairs and table before exiting the house!
Upon holding her hand, I could immediately sense a ‘connection’ and understanding, and I was able to converse with her easily. She was telling me all the different things she like to do, and I remember one question I asked was, “Are you happy here?” in order to get a sense of direction where to go.
She reluctantly answered ‘Yes, but…..’ trailing off and indicating there was some discontent. She then told me she wished it wasn’t ‘summertime’ all the time, indicating to me that I needed to build on this statement. (I recall the sense of a beautiful summer day when we spoke, even though upon fully awakening it was 4am and pouring rain!)
I do not recall the entire conversation, however, I was guided to ask, “Have you ever thought about having a different life? or visiting a different world?”, not really knowing where my words were coming from!! She said, ‘that would be so nice!’ and I ‘felt’ it was rather boring there for her so I continued on by asking, “I have my friend inside the house who would love to tell you all about other lives and worlds, maybe you could come in with me and we’ll talk.” (Again, I knew I had to get her to ‘look’ for the help that was there)
She followed me to the front porch door and as we stepped up, the fading pullback began. I slowly aroused to the sound of pouring rain, and the clock chiming 4am. During the entire experience I was aware someone else was with us, but there was no interaction at all between us.
I would like to think that perhaps my ‘physical’ touch was what was needed to get her to ‘focus’ on our conversation and bring here awareness to the point where she could ‘look for’ additional help.
I never know completely whether I am successful, however, I have the inner knowing that it is because I still remain partly in that ‘physical’ state while OOB, it gives me that added ability to offer assistance to those who remain so closely connected to the lower physical realm.
(See Comments for additional info)
5.7.09 Holding Hand Retrieval
I moved to the couch and intended to get OOB, as it has been long stressful few weeks for me, and my physical life needs would always override my ability or strong intention to get OOB.
This time, however, as life is beginning to settle a bit (or I’m just dealing with it better! lol) I wanted to try once again. Soon after getting into the hypnagogic state, and possibly even falling asleep, I became aware of hearing voices.
It feels as though I’m listening to a radio station, with voices and conversations that do not have anything to do with me. This slight awareness allows me to focus a bit more on my ‘physical’ sensations, and I realize there is the vibrational tingling and my legs begin to float.
This is my usual signal that I’m ready to separate, but once again, it feels so ‘heavy’ I cannot do my usual rollout. I have to push myself upright to a sitting position, still feeling the tingling, so I know I’m separating.
I am unsteady at first, as it’s been a while since I’ve been out! I pull myself to move away from my body, and I’m not very ‘clear’ on my thinking and remember I have to affirm ‘to the door!’ and try to get my thoughts in the right ‘frame’ so I can move.
I affirm ‘to the door!’ a few times, knowing the direction of the front door, but end up having to ‘physically move’ my legs to walk in that direction. As I pass the living room chairs, I reach out and can physically FEEL the arms of the chair, and as I pass between them I know there is a coffee table that I am passing through!!
I can feel the texture change as I pass through the table, yet I can still reach out and ‘physically’ feel the edge of the coffee table! That was most unusual for me!!
As I got to the front door, I opened it as I would have if I was in physical. On the front porch, I could feel the change to ‘cool air’ and then realized I didn’t have to open that door that way! It is pitch black with no vision at all, only an ‘awareness’ of what is out there.
I am suddenly startled to hear the slamming of two car doors, and ‘sense’ two people getting out of car in my driveway. There is only one female talking, and I heard something like ‘What do you think, Alfred?” as if she was talking to the other one who got out of the car with her.
I wonder who is coming, but remained calm enough to ask, ‘Who’s there?’ as they approached. She answered me with her name, but I cannot recall what it was, and I know I asked her at least three times to repeat it because her speech was not clear. (I believe it was similar to Lisette, or Lisa, but I am not sure.)
She continue to talk, loudly and animatedly, and I remember thinking that I’m not understanding a lot of what she is saying and am asking her to repeat many times.
I then took a special note to listen intently at one point, and I clearly heard what is medically termed ‘flight of ideas’, as in her conversation/answer was not appropriate nor understandable in terms of what she was trying to convey. I felt immediately that this was an educated woman in her thirties, with some sort of mental instability, yet very pleasant and easy to get along with.
I engaged her in conversation right where I was, standing on the sidewalk in front of my house. I could still see nothing except darkness, yet I sensed who she was but can give no physical details for a description. The conversation was difficult at first, with the words she spoke that did not appear to have meaning or context.
However, I was guided to take her right hand in my left hand, and I could then PHYSICALLY feel that sensation of holding her hand! Just the same as I did when I physically felt the chairs and table before exiting the house!
Upon holding her hand, I could immediately sense a ‘connection’ and understanding, and I was able to converse with her easily. She was telling me all the different things she like to do, and I remember one question I asked was, “Are you happy here?” in order to get a sense of direction where to go.
She reluctantly answered ‘Yes, but…..’ trailing off and indicating there was some discontent. She then told me she wished it wasn’t ‘summertime’ all the time, indicating to me that I needed to build on this statement. (I recall the sense of a beautiful summer day when we spoke, even though upon fully awakening it was 4am and pouring rain!)
I do not recall the entire conversation, however, I was guided to ask, “Have you ever thought about having a different life? or visiting a different world?”, not really knowing where my words were coming from!! She said, ‘that would be so nice!’ and I ‘felt’ it was rather boring there for her so I continued on by asking, “I have my friend inside the house who would love to tell you all about other lives and worlds, maybe you could come in with me and we’ll talk.” (Again, I knew I had to get her to ‘look’ for the help that was there)
She followed me to the front porch door and as we stepped up, the fading pullback began. I slowly aroused to the sound of pouring rain, and the clock chiming 4am. During the entire experience I was aware someone else was with us, but there was no interaction at all between us.
I would like to think that perhaps my ‘physical’ touch was what was needed to get her to ‘focus’ on our conversation and bring here awareness to the point where she could ‘look for’ additional help.
I never know completely whether I am successful, however, I have the inner knowing that it is because I still remain partly in that ‘physical’ state while OOB, it gives me that added ability to offer assistance to those who remain so closely connected to the lower physical realm.
(See Comments for additional info)
Sunday, April 12, 2009
103) Meeting Aaron; Finally Flying Free Again!
4.12.09 Easter Sunday morning
I am on my couch having set the intention to go ‘inward now’ should I be able to get OOB. My first awareness was that there were two other females with me as I was lying on the couch. I didn’t think too much of it as we were ‘waiting’ for something and passing the time making up fun things to do.
For fun, I remember I took a belt? (like a soft bathroom belt) and formed it into a lasso and attempted to lasso the one female’s pocketbook/case she was carrying as she moved toward the front door, seeing how I had to throw the belt just the right way to properly connect with it.
Suddenly the front door blasts open and a figure rushes into the room and toward the couch where I am lying!! I am startled at first, but somehow realize I have to maintain emotional control and as usual, just ‘go with it’.
What I see/feel is a young man, short and round in stature, and obviously affected with Down’s syndrome. He runs to me with such happiness and joy, and starts kissing, kissing, kissing me all over my face! I say ‘what’s going on? Who are you?’ and he quietly replies “Aaron”.
I am still startled at his overwhelming gratitude and love, and ask again, “who?” and he repeats, “Its Aaron! I love you!, I love you!, I love you!” I ask ‘why are you doing this?’ and he says something about ‘ the last time…’ which gave me the knowing I was with him before and he was SO happy to see me again!
As he says again, “I just love you!” I realize I am OOB, so I sit up on the couch and he climbs in next to me, continuing to kiss and hug me! I feel such overwhelming joy and gratitude from him, and I do think, ‘Now what am I going to do with him?...what do I do now?”
Not getting any further information, I decide to move on and say to him, “I’m happy you’re so happy, Aaron, but I have to go!” knowing I was once again OOB in the lighter, freeing state of being (as compared to the more recent OBEs with the close to physical heaviness).
Without looking back (which is rather selfish of me, in hindsight!), I move away to the dining room area intending to get outside quickly. Once I was by the dining room window, I dove through the glass, feeling that tingly sensation as I passed through into the cool crisp outside air.
I realize it is wintertime! (Actually, it’s just becoming spring here now, so the snow and ice was a surprise to find!) Crisp white snow is covering the ground, with the trees and branches sealed in ice crystals and everything is SO beautiful! I’m flying toward the tree tops, a bit slower than usual, but still with such lightness and joy that I am so thrilled to be out again, saying “I missed this SO much!” over and over!
At that point there was a quick transitional pullback, and I knew I was returning. Intending to record what I could remember, I find the recorder, but when I attempt to speak, all I hear is a muted ‘blah, blah, blah’ and the recording doesn’t work! Again, I use this signal as another chance to get back OOB, but also knowing that I was taking the chance that I would not remember all the details!
This time I moved toward the front door and as I get closer to it, the usual ‘fear’ that I may not be really out comes over me and I turn to float through the door backward face up!! Once outside, I can feel the tingling sensations of ice or raining coming down and SO enjoying the flying freedom!!
I am just overwhelmed with a sensation of joy and bliss I want to shout, but instead I start singing the entire song, “Mine eyes have seen the glory…...His Truth is marching on!” (Battle Hymn of the Republic) with such feeling and emotion (a la Kate Smith! Lol) I am SO full of love and joy and am enjoying the beauty of the countryside below me.
I am over a wide open area, slightly depressed as in a lower elevation, and barely recall something about a tractor there? I am just singing and flying and being so captivated with it all!! At one point, I remember blasting through some thick barbed bushes, knowing I could go through anything if I wanted to!
Recall here is very limited, and I believe I just started fading back at some point. Once again, I’m thinking I’m recording, but again I can’t get the switch to work right and the light won’t come on. This time, knowing that I will definitely forget too much if I go back out, I force myself more awake to the point where I know I am getting my recorder for real.
Suddenly the memories start to fade SO quickly! I can remember so much in that semi-awake stage, but once fully awake and ready to really record, everything disappears so easily and I have to use the ‘walk backward’ through the events to try to remember even these details.
So, after having my share of lower level physical OBEs, I finally had the chance to reconnect to the beauty and love of being in a higher lighter state of projection. It is just SO wonderful to be there again! The joy remains with you even after you are awake!
I am on my couch having set the intention to go ‘inward now’ should I be able to get OOB. My first awareness was that there were two other females with me as I was lying on the couch. I didn’t think too much of it as we were ‘waiting’ for something and passing the time making up fun things to do.
For fun, I remember I took a belt? (like a soft bathroom belt) and formed it into a lasso and attempted to lasso the one female’s pocketbook/case she was carrying as she moved toward the front door, seeing how I had to throw the belt just the right way to properly connect with it.
Suddenly the front door blasts open and a figure rushes into the room and toward the couch where I am lying!! I am startled at first, but somehow realize I have to maintain emotional control and as usual, just ‘go with it’.
What I see/feel is a young man, short and round in stature, and obviously affected with Down’s syndrome. He runs to me with such happiness and joy, and starts kissing, kissing, kissing me all over my face! I say ‘what’s going on? Who are you?’ and he quietly replies “Aaron”.
I am still startled at his overwhelming gratitude and love, and ask again, “who?” and he repeats, “Its Aaron! I love you!, I love you!, I love you!” I ask ‘why are you doing this?’ and he says something about ‘ the last time…’ which gave me the knowing I was with him before and he was SO happy to see me again!
As he says again, “I just love you!” I realize I am OOB, so I sit up on the couch and he climbs in next to me, continuing to kiss and hug me! I feel such overwhelming joy and gratitude from him, and I do think, ‘Now what am I going to do with him?...what do I do now?”
Not getting any further information, I decide to move on and say to him, “I’m happy you’re so happy, Aaron, but I have to go!” knowing I was once again OOB in the lighter, freeing state of being (as compared to the more recent OBEs with the close to physical heaviness).
Without looking back (which is rather selfish of me, in hindsight!), I move away to the dining room area intending to get outside quickly. Once I was by the dining room window, I dove through the glass, feeling that tingly sensation as I passed through into the cool crisp outside air.
I realize it is wintertime! (Actually, it’s just becoming spring here now, so the snow and ice was a surprise to find!) Crisp white snow is covering the ground, with the trees and branches sealed in ice crystals and everything is SO beautiful! I’m flying toward the tree tops, a bit slower than usual, but still with such lightness and joy that I am so thrilled to be out again, saying “I missed this SO much!” over and over!
At that point there was a quick transitional pullback, and I knew I was returning. Intending to record what I could remember, I find the recorder, but when I attempt to speak, all I hear is a muted ‘blah, blah, blah’ and the recording doesn’t work! Again, I use this signal as another chance to get back OOB, but also knowing that I was taking the chance that I would not remember all the details!
This time I moved toward the front door and as I get closer to it, the usual ‘fear’ that I may not be really out comes over me and I turn to float through the door backward face up!! Once outside, I can feel the tingling sensations of ice or raining coming down and SO enjoying the flying freedom!!
I am just overwhelmed with a sensation of joy and bliss I want to shout, but instead I start singing the entire song, “Mine eyes have seen the glory…...His Truth is marching on!” (Battle Hymn of the Republic) with such feeling and emotion (a la Kate Smith! Lol) I am SO full of love and joy and am enjoying the beauty of the countryside below me.
I am over a wide open area, slightly depressed as in a lower elevation, and barely recall something about a tractor there? I am just singing and flying and being so captivated with it all!! At one point, I remember blasting through some thick barbed bushes, knowing I could go through anything if I wanted to!
Recall here is very limited, and I believe I just started fading back at some point. Once again, I’m thinking I’m recording, but again I can’t get the switch to work right and the light won’t come on. This time, knowing that I will definitely forget too much if I go back out, I force myself more awake to the point where I know I am getting my recorder for real.
Suddenly the memories start to fade SO quickly! I can remember so much in that semi-awake stage, but once fully awake and ready to really record, everything disappears so easily and I have to use the ‘walk backward’ through the events to try to remember even these details.
So, after having my share of lower level physical OBEs, I finally had the chance to reconnect to the beauty and love of being in a higher lighter state of projection. It is just SO wonderful to be there again! The joy remains with you even after you are awake!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
102) Ignored Signals in Near-Reality; 6/28/56
4/5/09
This OBE is again nothing like my usual experiences, and seems to have a degree of ‘near-reality’ in it that is just SO convincing that THIS time I pay no attention to the various signals (anomalies) that would indicate I am OOB! I really don’t know what is going on with my projections!
For this experience, I am in my usual spot on the couch and find that I am having a harder time to settle down than usual. I am very tired, yet cannot sleep. It seems that I just get to that right ‘mindstate’ and suddenly I hear my husband coming down the stairs to try to convince me to go back to bed!
Normally, this would signal a false awakening for me, as this has happened many times before, however, this time it ‘felt’ different. I was SO tired, and SO annoyed that he’d wake me, I just rolled off the couch and moved toward the stairs to go upstairs to bed. I feel SO heavy, like I’m drugged - having difficulty even opening my eyes as I move! I just can’t seem to pull them open! (In hindsight, it was the same ‘feeling’ I had when previously OOB and aware of it, in trying to get some vision within an experience)
I move heavily into the bedroom and I remember all I want to do is sleep because I feel SO heavy and tired! Yet, things start happening all at once! My husband brings me my cell phone, saying that the hospital is on the line. I take it as I am concerned there is another emergency that I may have to go in for. Then the house phone rings, and as I KNOW it’s only 3am (which it really was!), so I answer it again concerned it could be the hospital.
I am so disgusted to find out it’s a sales call!! Some voice wanting to sell me some sort of ‘announcement service’ to let me know when school is out! I can recall trying to push the phone buttons to get to a ‘real’ person, and when I do, I ask her why she calling me at 3am to tell me about this!! She does apologize and tells me she won’t bother me again.
Now my daughter (who doesn’t even live with me) shows up in the bedroom, carrying on about something that I can’t even make sense of! Her words are garbled, and she’s talking about something that needs to be straightened out. I feel SO TIRED I can’t even concentrate on her words, and she gets annoyed and goes back to her bedroom, laughing and talking with others who are there. I remember thinking, “What is she doing still up and visiting with her friends at 3am!!”
Before she left, though, I was ‘handed’ a rose…and the rose was being held in a man’s arm/hand! The fingers were tightly wrapped around the rose, and the arm just ended at the shoulder level. I’m thinking, “This is a real arm! It even has hair on it! Who would want to give someone a hairy arm holding a rose? Do they even realize it came off of a real person??” I place the arm and rose on my bedside table, and watch as the fingers move to encircle other ‘fingers’ that I have there!
(Now, you would think with all these ‘signals’ that I would have been able to realize I was out of body!!! Yet, I felt SO heavy, SO dense, and SO TIRED that I just assumed it all was real!)
I finally fell asleep in bed, wondering why so many things were happening to me in the middle of the night to try to keep me awake! I then found myself transitioning to full wakefulness - still on the couch with nothing going on at 4am!
I tried to return to sleep and became aware of being in full vibrations. I rolled out, and again, I see my husband next to me, trying to get my attention by talking to me about something. I tell him I’m busy, and I need to do my work, and just then notice a man walking into the room from my left behind my husband. I felt I needed to talk to him, so excused myself and went after him. I asked, “Can I help you? Where are you going?” as he walked through the living room to the French doors by the hallway.
He is saying something about being a patient of mine ‘from the other night’ and told me his birthdate of 6/28/56. I remember asking him to repeat it as I was unsure of the year being ‘56 or ‘60. He again emphatically told me the date which I have recorded as 6/28/56. My feeling was that this date was being impressed upon me as something I needed to remember.
I asked him again where he was going, and he answered, “No where”. I was feeling frustrated and blank, not being able to think of what I should do next because I was rather overwhelmed to think this was a patient I had/would have!
The experience then faded rather quickly and I was left with the feeling that I may have asked the wrong questions or that it was just more important that I remembered that date. I don’t usually get such specific details when OOB, so I do try to take note when one is impressed upon me.
Once again, I am sharing this experience even though I did not take note of the signals to gain control of the experience. However, it was so different in its ‘feel’ that I don’t think I was capable of thinking clearly enough to become aware! The second part was so much ‘lighter’ in feel, just as many of other experiences are, but still rather unfulfilling unless I find out what that date could mean!
COMMENTARY: What I feel/know now is that there are so many degrees of 'physical-ness' one can experience as you progress inward/outward toward the higher level experiences.
IMO, I believe having already experienced the fun, joy, lightness, and freedom that the higher realms give us has allowed me to differentiate better between these lower more dense physical experiences.
I am finding out that even within each level of experience, there are varying degrees of 'sensation' and awareness. I just need to find out and learn how to bring more 'awareness' into the lower ones so that perhaps I can utilize this physical sense more with others I may find there.
In thinking about it, this learning could even play into the many discussions as to whether lucid dreams are OBEs and vice versa. As with all things, there cannot be a basis for comparison unless there is something to compare it too!
This OBE is again nothing like my usual experiences, and seems to have a degree of ‘near-reality’ in it that is just SO convincing that THIS time I pay no attention to the various signals (anomalies) that would indicate I am OOB! I really don’t know what is going on with my projections!
For this experience, I am in my usual spot on the couch and find that I am having a harder time to settle down than usual. I am very tired, yet cannot sleep. It seems that I just get to that right ‘mindstate’ and suddenly I hear my husband coming down the stairs to try to convince me to go back to bed!
Normally, this would signal a false awakening for me, as this has happened many times before, however, this time it ‘felt’ different. I was SO tired, and SO annoyed that he’d wake me, I just rolled off the couch and moved toward the stairs to go upstairs to bed. I feel SO heavy, like I’m drugged - having difficulty even opening my eyes as I move! I just can’t seem to pull them open! (In hindsight, it was the same ‘feeling’ I had when previously OOB and aware of it, in trying to get some vision within an experience)
I move heavily into the bedroom and I remember all I want to do is sleep because I feel SO heavy and tired! Yet, things start happening all at once! My husband brings me my cell phone, saying that the hospital is on the line. I take it as I am concerned there is another emergency that I may have to go in for. Then the house phone rings, and as I KNOW it’s only 3am (which it really was!), so I answer it again concerned it could be the hospital.
I am so disgusted to find out it’s a sales call!! Some voice wanting to sell me some sort of ‘announcement service’ to let me know when school is out! I can recall trying to push the phone buttons to get to a ‘real’ person, and when I do, I ask her why she calling me at 3am to tell me about this!! She does apologize and tells me she won’t bother me again.
Now my daughter (who doesn’t even live with me) shows up in the bedroom, carrying on about something that I can’t even make sense of! Her words are garbled, and she’s talking about something that needs to be straightened out. I feel SO TIRED I can’t even concentrate on her words, and she gets annoyed and goes back to her bedroom, laughing and talking with others who are there. I remember thinking, “What is she doing still up and visiting with her friends at 3am!!”
Before she left, though, I was ‘handed’ a rose…and the rose was being held in a man’s arm/hand! The fingers were tightly wrapped around the rose, and the arm just ended at the shoulder level. I’m thinking, “This is a real arm! It even has hair on it! Who would want to give someone a hairy arm holding a rose? Do they even realize it came off of a real person??” I place the arm and rose on my bedside table, and watch as the fingers move to encircle other ‘fingers’ that I have there!
(Now, you would think with all these ‘signals’ that I would have been able to realize I was out of body!!! Yet, I felt SO heavy, SO dense, and SO TIRED that I just assumed it all was real!)
I finally fell asleep in bed, wondering why so many things were happening to me in the middle of the night to try to keep me awake! I then found myself transitioning to full wakefulness - still on the couch with nothing going on at 4am!
I tried to return to sleep and became aware of being in full vibrations. I rolled out, and again, I see my husband next to me, trying to get my attention by talking to me about something. I tell him I’m busy, and I need to do my work, and just then notice a man walking into the room from my left behind my husband. I felt I needed to talk to him, so excused myself and went after him. I asked, “Can I help you? Where are you going?” as he walked through the living room to the French doors by the hallway.
He is saying something about being a patient of mine ‘from the other night’ and told me his birthdate of 6/28/56. I remember asking him to repeat it as I was unsure of the year being ‘56 or ‘60. He again emphatically told me the date which I have recorded as 6/28/56. My feeling was that this date was being impressed upon me as something I needed to remember.
I asked him again where he was going, and he answered, “No where”. I was feeling frustrated and blank, not being able to think of what I should do next because I was rather overwhelmed to think this was a patient I had/would have!
The experience then faded rather quickly and I was left with the feeling that I may have asked the wrong questions or that it was just more important that I remembered that date. I don’t usually get such specific details when OOB, so I do try to take note when one is impressed upon me.
Once again, I am sharing this experience even though I did not take note of the signals to gain control of the experience. However, it was so different in its ‘feel’ that I don’t think I was capable of thinking clearly enough to become aware! The second part was so much ‘lighter’ in feel, just as many of other experiences are, but still rather unfulfilling unless I find out what that date could mean!
COMMENTARY: What I feel/know now is that there are so many degrees of 'physical-ness' one can experience as you progress inward/outward toward the higher level experiences.
IMO, I believe having already experienced the fun, joy, lightness, and freedom that the higher realms give us has allowed me to differentiate better between these lower more dense physical experiences.
I am finding out that even within each level of experience, there are varying degrees of 'sensation' and awareness. I just need to find out and learn how to bring more 'awareness' into the lower ones so that perhaps I can utilize this physical sense more with others I may find there.
In thinking about it, this learning could even play into the many discussions as to whether lucid dreams are OBEs and vice versa. As with all things, there cannot be a basis for comparison unless there is something to compare it too!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
101) Gaining Confidence
4/01/09
My first recollection of this experience is the music and loud noise coming from the living room where I was sleeping. I felt I was fully awake and should go investigate where this music was coming from. Realizing that the room appeared just a bit different than it really does, I gives me the ‘awareness’ that I am in another ‘false awakening’ and use this to roll out of body. I affirm, ‘to the door!’ and move slowly, feeling a VERY strong pulling sensation back to body.
Realizing I am not going to make it to the door, I change direction to the hallway near my daughter’s bedroom. Now I hear excited barking! Without hesitating, I call for the dogs to come, and immediately see two smaller dogs appear in the hall. The smaller one is light brown, longer hair, and has a familiar sense that I attributed to my younger childhood days, as he excitedly jumps up on me. The other dog is slightly bigger, black/brown, shorthair and a little more reserve but very friendly. He comes up to me and nuzzles me contentedly, as if to say hello.
Looking up, I see in the doorway a large black/brindle dog that hesitates before entering. I feel a slight apprehension, but then realize it is more of a timid feeling coming from this big dog, and coax him to join the other two at my side.
I hug him and rub his short hair, noticing that his right eye is missing and his coat is matted. Sitting in the hallway playing with these dogs, I sense a presence standing in the doorway to my daughter’s room. It is an older, stocky, tall white male with short grey hair and small ‘blotches’ scattered throughout his face. He is non-threatening, but distant (timid?), and I realize he is there to talk to me.
His question is recorded as, “How’s your ‘sex appeal’ (but the word felt like confidence) for working with us? Can you help us (those of us) in this ‘population’? (Other than the specific words ‘sex appeal’, ‘help’, and ‘population’, the question was more of a feeling than specific words.) I understood what he was saying, and gave my consent to help in any way I could, knowing he meant the ‘population’ was those in spirit, both human and animal.
He and the dogs now fade away, and I try to locate my recorder to record what I can. I find it in pieces, and I’m attempting to put it back together. Realizing this is usually the signal for a ‘false awakening’, and instead of pulling myself more awake, I now use this signal to try to roll out again (even though I know I may not remember many details if I continued to another experience!)
I am successful in finding myself standing back in the living room where I was sleeping, and the room again looked slightly different (which gave me the validation I WAS still OOB). I approached the front door to go outside, and took the time to try to see if my hand could go through as usual. I was astonished to feel that it was solid! I pushed against it two more times, knowing I was out of body, but just amazed that I couldn’t pass through it!
I gave up and just opened the door the regular way, feeling the cool breeze of the morning air as the door opened. I kept saying, “This is not right, I know I’m out!”, so continued on, just ‘going along’ with what was happening.
Once outside, I tried flying a little, floating slightly upwards enjoying the freedom of being out but with a knowing that I was still ‘grounded’ and not able to go far. With that thought, I found myself flat on the ground, seeing and smelling the green grass under a tree in the front yard.
From my spot in the front yard, I could see my father’s truck come into the driveway, pulling a wagon filled with stuff like he’s going to clean up around the yard. My daughter was now there, and she is coming toward me. I somehow ‘know’ I am lying here (in my nightgown!) aware she is coming for the jeans that she left nearby, but unaware of my presence (I get the feeling I am ‘not in this picture’ at this time). This is quite confusing here, but I’m writing what I recorded!! lol
My husband, her stepfather, is also in the front yard now, and they are conversing quite civilly about things she just inherited that would be useful for the new people who are coming. I remember their conversation because it is registered as quite unusual to hear them to talk to each other in such a polite way.
Next I recall, I am now accompanying my daughter up to the house, yet this house (the one I just came out of!) has had the front door boarded up for a long time, and we are going to attempt to get in.
Just as we get inside the house, everything starts to fade and I realize I have to try to recall as much as I can. Again, I find the recorder in pieces; however, this time I pull myself to a more awake state and search for it again. I find it as I feel the heaviness of ‘full return’ and record what I could remember.
For some clarity here, I will say there are MANY changes going on in my life right now with regard to people in my life. I believe much of the ending of this experience probably an indication that this change will be for the better in all avenues of my physical life right now, and I am hoping the agreement to help with those in spirit indicates my increased confidence in moving forward with spiritual growth as well.
I only hope my ‘grounding’ of the experiences ends soon as I long to travel and experience that lightness and joy that usually accompanies those trips to the higher astral levels!
My first recollection of this experience is the music and loud noise coming from the living room where I was sleeping. I felt I was fully awake and should go investigate where this music was coming from. Realizing that the room appeared just a bit different than it really does, I gives me the ‘awareness’ that I am in another ‘false awakening’ and use this to roll out of body. I affirm, ‘to the door!’ and move slowly, feeling a VERY strong pulling sensation back to body.
Realizing I am not going to make it to the door, I change direction to the hallway near my daughter’s bedroom. Now I hear excited barking! Without hesitating, I call for the dogs to come, and immediately see two smaller dogs appear in the hall. The smaller one is light brown, longer hair, and has a familiar sense that I attributed to my younger childhood days, as he excitedly jumps up on me. The other dog is slightly bigger, black/brown, shorthair and a little more reserve but very friendly. He comes up to me and nuzzles me contentedly, as if to say hello.
Looking up, I see in the doorway a large black/brindle dog that hesitates before entering. I feel a slight apprehension, but then realize it is more of a timid feeling coming from this big dog, and coax him to join the other two at my side.
I hug him and rub his short hair, noticing that his right eye is missing and his coat is matted. Sitting in the hallway playing with these dogs, I sense a presence standing in the doorway to my daughter’s room. It is an older, stocky, tall white male with short grey hair and small ‘blotches’ scattered throughout his face. He is non-threatening, but distant (timid?), and I realize he is there to talk to me.
His question is recorded as, “How’s your ‘sex appeal’ (but the word felt like confidence) for working with us? Can you help us (those of us) in this ‘population’? (Other than the specific words ‘sex appeal’, ‘help’, and ‘population’, the question was more of a feeling than specific words.) I understood what he was saying, and gave my consent to help in any way I could, knowing he meant the ‘population’ was those in spirit, both human and animal.
He and the dogs now fade away, and I try to locate my recorder to record what I can. I find it in pieces, and I’m attempting to put it back together. Realizing this is usually the signal for a ‘false awakening’, and instead of pulling myself more awake, I now use this signal to try to roll out again (even though I know I may not remember many details if I continued to another experience!)
I am successful in finding myself standing back in the living room where I was sleeping, and the room again looked slightly different (which gave me the validation I WAS still OOB). I approached the front door to go outside, and took the time to try to see if my hand could go through as usual. I was astonished to feel that it was solid! I pushed against it two more times, knowing I was out of body, but just amazed that I couldn’t pass through it!
I gave up and just opened the door the regular way, feeling the cool breeze of the morning air as the door opened. I kept saying, “This is not right, I know I’m out!”, so continued on, just ‘going along’ with what was happening.
Once outside, I tried flying a little, floating slightly upwards enjoying the freedom of being out but with a knowing that I was still ‘grounded’ and not able to go far. With that thought, I found myself flat on the ground, seeing and smelling the green grass under a tree in the front yard.
From my spot in the front yard, I could see my father’s truck come into the driveway, pulling a wagon filled with stuff like he’s going to clean up around the yard. My daughter was now there, and she is coming toward me. I somehow ‘know’ I am lying here (in my nightgown!) aware she is coming for the jeans that she left nearby, but unaware of my presence (I get the feeling I am ‘not in this picture’ at this time). This is quite confusing here, but I’m writing what I recorded!! lol
My husband, her stepfather, is also in the front yard now, and they are conversing quite civilly about things she just inherited that would be useful for the new people who are coming. I remember their conversation because it is registered as quite unusual to hear them to talk to each other in such a polite way.
Next I recall, I am now accompanying my daughter up to the house, yet this house (the one I just came out of!) has had the front door boarded up for a long time, and we are going to attempt to get in.
Just as we get inside the house, everything starts to fade and I realize I have to try to recall as much as I can. Again, I find the recorder in pieces; however, this time I pull myself to a more awake state and search for it again. I find it as I feel the heaviness of ‘full return’ and record what I could remember.
For some clarity here, I will say there are MANY changes going on in my life right now with regard to people in my life. I believe much of the ending of this experience probably an indication that this change will be for the better in all avenues of my physical life right now, and I am hoping the agreement to help with those in spirit indicates my increased confidence in moving forward with spiritual growth as well.
I only hope my ‘grounding’ of the experiences ends soon as I long to travel and experience that lightness and joy that usually accompanies those trips to the higher astral levels!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
100) Sending Love - Successful!
Hi everyone! Things here in 'real life' have been quite busy with some very stressful situations and health concerns over the past few weeks. Experiences have continued, but not to the degree that there is much information that I feel others can learn from.
However, this experience has a few 'new' aspects, so I'm sharing that latest. I welcome any insights, comments, or thoughts!
3/18/09
This experience offered once again more new experiences for me. In retrospect, I feel I have had so much to do and take care of in the past few weeks with my ‘physical life’ that my astral body is trying to compensate by giving me what I need to balance.
Just prior to sleep with this experience, and knowing that I have not had the chance to help others while OOB in a long time, I do recall a brief ‘thought’ that impressed upon mind that this time I just might get my wish. However the difference was, this time they came to me!
I went to my ‘traveling’ couch at 3am per my usual routine. As I’m lying there, I get the typical altered sensations (floating, soft buzzing) that indicates I’m about ready to separate. Instead of just rolling out as usual, I find my legs floating vertical in the air! Now this is common for me as a signal to roll, however, I couldn’t move! I question whether perhaps I really DO have my legs this high, but also realize it just isn’t possible.
While lying there, feeling my legs floating and not able to roll out, I have a sense of someone coming from the kitchen area. I feel slight apprehension, as I see a very strong male (energy) shadow moving toward me, talking animatedly and emphatically, as he towered over my body lying on the couch!
My initial reflexive reaction was to put my hand up to him and said “Stop!”, however upon doing so, immediately knew I should not do that and then said, “I send you love”! He stopped, calmed a bit, and with this success, I also visualized sending loving energy to him, which improved his overall ‘sense’ quite a bit. He was able to talk more coherently to me now, and at the time, I knew what we were discussing but there is no memory now. I only have the impression he was explaining something, and just needed to talk.
He faded out and now I felt the presence of another smaller female, hunched over, next to the couch in the same spot he faded from. It was a much older woman, quiet and non-threatening, and I asked, “what can I help you with?” She mumbled something softly, and the conversation is again not recalled, however I do remember sending her love as well.
She faded after a short time and once again, a very animated, almost agitated, middle-aged female appeared in her place. She was talking loudly and waving her arms about. I recall only scraps of information about our conversation, something about products, and TV, and things she needs or was interested in. Because I had already started sending love with the other two, and with her strong energy appearance, it was easy to calm her down and just talk to her without any concerns or fear.
At some point, she faded, and I became aware of my moving feet. This time I realized I could now roll out! I stood up next to the couch, amazed at the ‘strength’ of solidness I felt! However, I couldn’t move! Once again, I try ‘to the door!’ and when that didn’t work, ‘to the outside!’
Now realizing I could see (usually I’m in darkness initially), my orientation was a bit confused. Although I felt as though I was facing my dining room, it appeared to me that my living room bay window was in front of me! Without questioning my orientation ‘status’ (as it was much more important that I get out, not caring which direction!) I just affirmed, ‘to the outside!’ while looking at the window.
VERY slowly, I begin to move, so I say ‘to the window’, ‘to the outside’ – ANYthing to move! I’m drifting slowly, very slowly….and it feels as though I am not ‘in control’ of this one. So, I just ‘let go’ and remember it doesn’t’ matter where I go out, as long as I get out! Lol
I start to move up to the ceiling, and think, ‘oh this is great!’ as I’ll get to experience the texture changes as I pass through so slowly. Indeed I do, first the ceiling, then the attic area, through the roof and then to the outside – each feeling so different in texture and sensation.
I am moving SOoooo slowly, finally breaking through to the outside, seeing clouds and birds, and even something that I’m not sure what it was while flying (this is what I recorded – very limited memories here).
I am enjoying the drifting and floating, getting so comfortable and relaxed. I even recall knowing I could take part of the cloud to use as a pillow! I was so content and at peace, not really going anywhere, but just enjoying the open expansiveness and peaceful feelings. The sense of freedom and comfort was immense.
When I came back to couch, there was another ‘first’ I can remember doing. I had to actually “turn around” to get into the right position as I’m getting back in body. I somehow knew I had to re-enter differently, but I really don’t know how I knew!
I am aware I have so much to record and am now trying to bring myself awake slowly while trying to find recorder. It’s hard to describe, but I knew I wasn’t awake enough to get it working so I hung onto the memories as much as I could while trying to wake even further. However once I was fully awake to record, I still lost so many memories.
I am find this happening more and more often, with deep memories holding while slowly waking, using attempts to bring them to the surface with signal words, but losing the ‘idea’ behind them as soon as I am fully awake.
As for the shadowing figures, all I needed to do was calm them down and become comfortable with their animated and ‘wild’ energy (that initially scared me slightly). By remembering to send loving thoughts and energy as they spoke to me allowed me to show my understanding of the loving communication process that is difficult to control many times when faced with fear while OOB.
Getting fully out after meeting these individuals was also different in that despite my lack of usual quick determined movements, it was still an enjoyable experience, as the slowness allowed me to fully experience each part of the process. When finally outdoors, the expansiveness and happiness I felt ‘just doing nothing’ I believe was a much needed respite from the extremely stressful and overactive life that I have encountered these past few weeks.
However, this experience has a few 'new' aspects, so I'm sharing that latest. I welcome any insights, comments, or thoughts!
3/18/09
This experience offered once again more new experiences for me. In retrospect, I feel I have had so much to do and take care of in the past few weeks with my ‘physical life’ that my astral body is trying to compensate by giving me what I need to balance.
Just prior to sleep with this experience, and knowing that I have not had the chance to help others while OOB in a long time, I do recall a brief ‘thought’ that impressed upon mind that this time I just might get my wish. However the difference was, this time they came to me!
I went to my ‘traveling’ couch at 3am per my usual routine. As I’m lying there, I get the typical altered sensations (floating, soft buzzing) that indicates I’m about ready to separate. Instead of just rolling out as usual, I find my legs floating vertical in the air! Now this is common for me as a signal to roll, however, I couldn’t move! I question whether perhaps I really DO have my legs this high, but also realize it just isn’t possible.
While lying there, feeling my legs floating and not able to roll out, I have a sense of someone coming from the kitchen area. I feel slight apprehension, as I see a very strong male (energy) shadow moving toward me, talking animatedly and emphatically, as he towered over my body lying on the couch!
My initial reflexive reaction was to put my hand up to him and said “Stop!”, however upon doing so, immediately knew I should not do that and then said, “I send you love”! He stopped, calmed a bit, and with this success, I also visualized sending loving energy to him, which improved his overall ‘sense’ quite a bit. He was able to talk more coherently to me now, and at the time, I knew what we were discussing but there is no memory now. I only have the impression he was explaining something, and just needed to talk.
He faded out and now I felt the presence of another smaller female, hunched over, next to the couch in the same spot he faded from. It was a much older woman, quiet and non-threatening, and I asked, “what can I help you with?” She mumbled something softly, and the conversation is again not recalled, however I do remember sending her love as well.
She faded after a short time and once again, a very animated, almost agitated, middle-aged female appeared in her place. She was talking loudly and waving her arms about. I recall only scraps of information about our conversation, something about products, and TV, and things she needs or was interested in. Because I had already started sending love with the other two, and with her strong energy appearance, it was easy to calm her down and just talk to her without any concerns or fear.
At some point, she faded, and I became aware of my moving feet. This time I realized I could now roll out! I stood up next to the couch, amazed at the ‘strength’ of solidness I felt! However, I couldn’t move! Once again, I try ‘to the door!’ and when that didn’t work, ‘to the outside!’
Now realizing I could see (usually I’m in darkness initially), my orientation was a bit confused. Although I felt as though I was facing my dining room, it appeared to me that my living room bay window was in front of me! Without questioning my orientation ‘status’ (as it was much more important that I get out, not caring which direction!) I just affirmed, ‘to the outside!’ while looking at the window.
VERY slowly, I begin to move, so I say ‘to the window’, ‘to the outside’ – ANYthing to move! I’m drifting slowly, very slowly….and it feels as though I am not ‘in control’ of this one. So, I just ‘let go’ and remember it doesn’t’ matter where I go out, as long as I get out! Lol
I start to move up to the ceiling, and think, ‘oh this is great!’ as I’ll get to experience the texture changes as I pass through so slowly. Indeed I do, first the ceiling, then the attic area, through the roof and then to the outside – each feeling so different in texture and sensation.
I am moving SOoooo slowly, finally breaking through to the outside, seeing clouds and birds, and even something that I’m not sure what it was while flying (this is what I recorded – very limited memories here).
I am enjoying the drifting and floating, getting so comfortable and relaxed. I even recall knowing I could take part of the cloud to use as a pillow! I was so content and at peace, not really going anywhere, but just enjoying the open expansiveness and peaceful feelings. The sense of freedom and comfort was immense.
When I came back to couch, there was another ‘first’ I can remember doing. I had to actually “turn around” to get into the right position as I’m getting back in body. I somehow knew I had to re-enter differently, but I really don’t know how I knew!
I am aware I have so much to record and am now trying to bring myself awake slowly while trying to find recorder. It’s hard to describe, but I knew I wasn’t awake enough to get it working so I hung onto the memories as much as I could while trying to wake even further. However once I was fully awake to record, I still lost so many memories.
I am find this happening more and more often, with deep memories holding while slowly waking, using attempts to bring them to the surface with signal words, but losing the ‘idea’ behind them as soon as I am fully awake.
As for the shadowing figures, all I needed to do was calm them down and become comfortable with their animated and ‘wild’ energy (that initially scared me slightly). By remembering to send loving thoughts and energy as they spoke to me allowed me to show my understanding of the loving communication process that is difficult to control many times when faced with fear while OOB.
Getting fully out after meeting these individuals was also different in that despite my lack of usual quick determined movements, it was still an enjoyable experience, as the slowness allowed me to fully experience each part of the process. When finally outdoors, the expansiveness and happiness I felt ‘just doing nothing’ I believe was a much needed respite from the extremely stressful and overactive life that I have encountered these past few weeks.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
99) Physical Emotions In OBEs
3/13/09
There has been much turmoil in my life over the past few weeks and as usual, my ability to remember my travels OOB diminishes. I know I am still having my usual frequent exits, however, no matter how I try, the conscious recall of the event fades very quickly when fully awake.
What is interesting is that I can recall trying to remember details while being out with my usual technique of word associations, but every time, once fully awake and back in the ‘real world’, there is no memory left except knowing I was out.
This last experience I am sharing here mainly because I feel it was unusual in my ability to ‘physically’ feel not only texture, but also emotions! Up to this time, I have learned quite well to ‘control’ my emotional responses to anything I encountered, knowing that any extreme emotional response (other than love/happiness) will end my travels. This time, there were physical sensations and emotions that caused even more loss of control and lack of accomplishment within the experience.
There were multiple exits this night, but unfortunately there are few details except for the following. The first time I became aware of my readiness to separate, I easily rolled out, but found myself standing in darkness, barely able to move! I remember calling out for a friend (NJ), in an attempt to move. But for some reason I was immediately back in body, but quickly feeling the readiness to separate sensation.
I rolled out for the second time, and with my “to the door!” affirmation, I started moving but with extreme difficulty! I felt so heavy and so sluggish; I just wanted to get to the door as quickly as possible. I recall seeing my dog Buddy watching me, so I called for him to come with me. I felt concerned and upset for some reason.
It was still dark and I couldn’t see well, so I made a beeline for the front door feeling every texture change as I passed through the different pieces of furniture in my hurry to get outside. (I realize now that with my regular OBEs, I would normally take the usual ‘path’ around the furniture as I do in physical, but this time I was so intent on getting outside, I just moved straight to the door through the furniture!)
Again, I could sharply feel the texture change as I passed through the front door, and I remember standing in my front yard, now feeling the ‘tingle’ of raindrops falling! I recall I was surprised to discover that it was raining!
Suddenly, I found myself back in body, for the third time with the signal to separate. Again, I moved to the front door and outside, still very heavy and barely able to see. This time, I remember feeling the rain drops ‘tingle’ once again, and decided I would try to fly. Again no success with my usual quick take off, so this time I thought maybe I could at least ‘lift and drift’, moving slowly. Thankfully, I was pleased to discover I was lifting gently, but once again, I didn’t get far before finding myself back into body.
I also remember that a few times being out with these first experiences of the night, that I tried desperately to ‘see’ more clearly (as I did not remember to us my ‘Clarity now!’ affirmation.) Instead I remember trying to ‘physically’ open my eyes and I recall that it felt as though I WAS opening them for real! But with the realization that I was seeing ‘too much light’ AND feeling them physically opening, I quickly closed them and continued with the experience.
The last outing of the night began with another ‘false awakening’ that I was at least aware of enough to let it continue. I could hear my stepson and a few of his friends come into the living room directly to the couch where I was sleeping! One sat in the chair next to me, and the others were talking and milling around, paying no attention to me sleeping next to them!
I remember I tried to make a few movements and small noises to let them know I was there (as I am never sure when a false awakening occurs - but felt fairly sure this one was!) One friend even tried to pull the covers off of me, and remember having to grab them back to let them know I was there!
The group moves into the kitchen, and I am rather upset to think the friends were invited over without my knowledge. I realize by now this is definitely a false awakening, and I’m curious so I take this time to easily roll out of body to follow them!
I watched them for a time, while standing outside the kitchen, but then decided I wanted to make contact so I moved into the kitchen and around the lunch counter. I am now trying to make noise to get their attention, and I know I am talking but they are not hearing me!
I recall hearing my ‘voice’, having it sound like a dull “ wah,wah,wah”, and coming out unintelligible.
I realize I am not getting anywhere, I am feeling very frustrated, upset, and unable to think properly. Knowing these are emotions I have to control, I try to send ‘love’, but the best I can muster is ‘gratitude’. (I really don’t know what this means, but that’s what I recorded, so that’s what I’m writing!)
I move back to the dining room area, with the realization I was going to lose the experience, and now feeling quite physically ill and nauseous! Trying to prolong the OOB experience, I tried the little spin and affirmation “to my higher self!” but this spinning only made me more nauseous!!! I have never ever experienced such physical sensations while being OOB before!
I am not sure what is happening with me, so I decide to end the experience intentionally, something else I have never done before! I think directly of my physical body (which was easy since I was feeling such intense physical emotions!) and was able to return quickly.
I know this isn’t much of an experience to share, as I felt was not fully functioning and my emotions seemed to be out of control. However, there were some differences I ‘felt’ from my usual exits, so I thought I’d write this one.
I will share with everyone, however, what I did discover soon after that night’s experiences. That same time that I was OOB, my friend NJ was experiencing some intense emotional upset that I feel I may have somehow picked up on!
There is no way to firmly validate this connection, however, the time and sensations seem to ‘fit’ and since my intention that night was to visit with him, perhaps I shared this turmoil and became more ‘emotional’ and therefore less functioning.
There has been much turmoil in my life over the past few weeks and as usual, my ability to remember my travels OOB diminishes. I know I am still having my usual frequent exits, however, no matter how I try, the conscious recall of the event fades very quickly when fully awake.
What is interesting is that I can recall trying to remember details while being out with my usual technique of word associations, but every time, once fully awake and back in the ‘real world’, there is no memory left except knowing I was out.
This last experience I am sharing here mainly because I feel it was unusual in my ability to ‘physically’ feel not only texture, but also emotions! Up to this time, I have learned quite well to ‘control’ my emotional responses to anything I encountered, knowing that any extreme emotional response (other than love/happiness) will end my travels. This time, there were physical sensations and emotions that caused even more loss of control and lack of accomplishment within the experience.
There were multiple exits this night, but unfortunately there are few details except for the following. The first time I became aware of my readiness to separate, I easily rolled out, but found myself standing in darkness, barely able to move! I remember calling out for a friend (NJ), in an attempt to move. But for some reason I was immediately back in body, but quickly feeling the readiness to separate sensation.
I rolled out for the second time, and with my “to the door!” affirmation, I started moving but with extreme difficulty! I felt so heavy and so sluggish; I just wanted to get to the door as quickly as possible. I recall seeing my dog Buddy watching me, so I called for him to come with me. I felt concerned and upset for some reason.
It was still dark and I couldn’t see well, so I made a beeline for the front door feeling every texture change as I passed through the different pieces of furniture in my hurry to get outside. (I realize now that with my regular OBEs, I would normally take the usual ‘path’ around the furniture as I do in physical, but this time I was so intent on getting outside, I just moved straight to the door through the furniture!)
Again, I could sharply feel the texture change as I passed through the front door, and I remember standing in my front yard, now feeling the ‘tingle’ of raindrops falling! I recall I was surprised to discover that it was raining!
Suddenly, I found myself back in body, for the third time with the signal to separate. Again, I moved to the front door and outside, still very heavy and barely able to see. This time, I remember feeling the rain drops ‘tingle’ once again, and decided I would try to fly. Again no success with my usual quick take off, so this time I thought maybe I could at least ‘lift and drift’, moving slowly. Thankfully, I was pleased to discover I was lifting gently, but once again, I didn’t get far before finding myself back into body.
I also remember that a few times being out with these first experiences of the night, that I tried desperately to ‘see’ more clearly (as I did not remember to us my ‘Clarity now!’ affirmation.) Instead I remember trying to ‘physically’ open my eyes and I recall that it felt as though I WAS opening them for real! But with the realization that I was seeing ‘too much light’ AND feeling them physically opening, I quickly closed them and continued with the experience.
The last outing of the night began with another ‘false awakening’ that I was at least aware of enough to let it continue. I could hear my stepson and a few of his friends come into the living room directly to the couch where I was sleeping! One sat in the chair next to me, and the others were talking and milling around, paying no attention to me sleeping next to them!
I remember I tried to make a few movements and small noises to let them know I was there (as I am never sure when a false awakening occurs - but felt fairly sure this one was!) One friend even tried to pull the covers off of me, and remember having to grab them back to let them know I was there!
The group moves into the kitchen, and I am rather upset to think the friends were invited over without my knowledge. I realize by now this is definitely a false awakening, and I’m curious so I take this time to easily roll out of body to follow them!
I watched them for a time, while standing outside the kitchen, but then decided I wanted to make contact so I moved into the kitchen and around the lunch counter. I am now trying to make noise to get their attention, and I know I am talking but they are not hearing me!
I recall hearing my ‘voice’, having it sound like a dull “ wah,wah,wah”, and coming out unintelligible.
I realize I am not getting anywhere, I am feeling very frustrated, upset, and unable to think properly. Knowing these are emotions I have to control, I try to send ‘love’, but the best I can muster is ‘gratitude’. (I really don’t know what this means, but that’s what I recorded, so that’s what I’m writing!)
I move back to the dining room area, with the realization I was going to lose the experience, and now feeling quite physically ill and nauseous! Trying to prolong the OOB experience, I tried the little spin and affirmation “to my higher self!” but this spinning only made me more nauseous!!! I have never ever experienced such physical sensations while being OOB before!
I am not sure what is happening with me, so I decide to end the experience intentionally, something else I have never done before! I think directly of my physical body (which was easy since I was feeling such intense physical emotions!) and was able to return quickly.
I know this isn’t much of an experience to share, as I felt was not fully functioning and my emotions seemed to be out of control. However, there were some differences I ‘felt’ from my usual exits, so I thought I’d write this one.
I will share with everyone, however, what I did discover soon after that night’s experiences. That same time that I was OOB, my friend NJ was experiencing some intense emotional upset that I feel I may have somehow picked up on!
There is no way to firmly validate this connection, however, the time and sensations seem to ‘fit’ and since my intention that night was to visit with him, perhaps I shared this turmoil and became more ‘emotional’ and therefore less functioning.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
98) Controlling Fear, Sending Love
I moved to the couch about 3am with the intention of attempting to travel. My first recollection was not one of a direct OBE, but it seemed to relate to the general theme of the night’s events so I am writing that here as well.
I found myself in a local shopping mall parking lot at night, looking for a parking space. I notice many other cars there, all trying to squeeze into spots available. I park my car, and start walking toward the building when I notice that the lights are out and I can barely see!
I know I saw a curb and avoided that, trying to remain in the roadway. It became pitch black, and I became aware of others walking near me as I could hear them talking. I sensed a bit of fear, because I didn’t know who these people were and then became aware of ‘hearing’ my own thoughts!
I heard the words, ‘fear’ and ‘bad guy’ and felt like someone was coming after me! I was being forced to the ground, but amazingly I kept under control and just went with the flow, not fighting anything because somehow I ‘knew’ I could not be hurt! The entire experience faded with that thought…and I awoke.
Getting back to sleep with the intention of travel again, I now find myself in full vibrations, knowing I can separate. I roll out as usual, but this time it is the difficult separation in that I felt so heavy and out of control. I could barely move, and it was only with strong affirmations of “to the door!” that I moved to the dining room.
I stopped because I thought I heard someone say something, and asked, “Is anyone there?” I received no response and decided to just move outdoors as I didn’t feel ‘stable’ enough to maintain much of this experience. In hindsight, however, it may have been the man you will read about at the end of this experience.
Moving outdoors, I see the familiar trees in my yard and it gives me validation that I am out. (Despite my frequent OBE’s, I still feel reassured when I see things that validate my experience!) Without a specific destination planned, I use my preferred ‘to my higher self!’ affirmation to go wherever my spirit feels I will learn best.
I zoom up to the dark sky, seeing tiny dots of white lights in the blackness as I move forward. It changes to the sensation of the backward black tunnel – and it continues for quite a while! When it stops, though, I find myself once again back on the couch, feeling like I’m awake!
With hesitating, I just roll back off the couch and once again, find it is heavy and difficult to move. Affirming ‘to the door!’ I move to the front door and still find my movements difficult and not as clear as they can be.
I move to the front yard and still feeling heavy and ‘grounded’ as I lie on the soft grass. Looking up, I see my parent’s house next door, and decide I’d like to just go see what’s going on over there. However, no amount of affirmations or intentions made me move!
As I’m lying there, I’m wondering what’s happening? I look to my hands and see they are ‘glowing’, signaling and validating that I am indeed out of body, just hindered in my movements.
I spy a bit of paper lying near me and I start to pick up the long strip of paper, wondering “what is this for?” It appears to be EKG paper (familiar strips of long paper I use regularly at work in the hospital) and as I move to pick the continuous strip of paper up, I notice it is wrapped completely around my house, from end to end!!
My thoughts at that time were that somehow it was showing me that this experience would be ‘work-related’, but I am still not sure how it is. I also remember thinking, “I can’t let experience go too long as I need to record it”, but then decided I didn’t do too much, so I wouldn’t stop the experience yet!
As I realize there is just too much paper here to pick up, I let go of it…only to find myself immediately back in body on the couch! Thinking I’m awake, but not being sure, I am able to roll out and once again find myself standing in the living room.
This time it was an easy roll out, and I even remember thinking, ‘wow, third time’s the charm!’ As I begin to move away, I am aware of someone standing just behind me, off to my right.
I see the dark shape of a man, with a growling ‘zombie-like’ voice that says, “Give me more medicine now!” He grabs both my hands and holds them tight!
Somehow I am able to maintain control of my fear, even though I’m backing up to move away! I know I can’t be hurt, but it was an intense ‘sound’ to his voice, and the ‘physical’ grasp of his hands was very real!
He repeated “Give me more medicine now!” and I remember thinking I have to do something, but what? So I say, “Go to the Light!” (Not really knowing why I said this!) He continues to hold my hands and growl, so I reaffirm, “go to the Light!”
I have the ‘knowing’ that there is more I need to do, but I cannot think clearly enough to remember with this very real sensation of physical touch. So I add, “go to the Light NOW!” hoping that this would help, only to realize as he released my hands that I should have sent him Love!
I believe this experience was a learning one to show me that I still need some help in remembering that it is Love that conquers all fear! I am able to control the fear, and maintain the experience, however, I need to also remember that in order to help, and I have to send Love in return.
These experiences with fear, both my own created thoughts of fear (as in the parking lot) and actual fear with ‘close’ encounters were given to show me that in order to move ahead, I must learn to emanate Love to all I meet.
I found myself in a local shopping mall parking lot at night, looking for a parking space. I notice many other cars there, all trying to squeeze into spots available. I park my car, and start walking toward the building when I notice that the lights are out and I can barely see!
I know I saw a curb and avoided that, trying to remain in the roadway. It became pitch black, and I became aware of others walking near me as I could hear them talking. I sensed a bit of fear, because I didn’t know who these people were and then became aware of ‘hearing’ my own thoughts!
I heard the words, ‘fear’ and ‘bad guy’ and felt like someone was coming after me! I was being forced to the ground, but amazingly I kept under control and just went with the flow, not fighting anything because somehow I ‘knew’ I could not be hurt! The entire experience faded with that thought…and I awoke.
Getting back to sleep with the intention of travel again, I now find myself in full vibrations, knowing I can separate. I roll out as usual, but this time it is the difficult separation in that I felt so heavy and out of control. I could barely move, and it was only with strong affirmations of “to the door!” that I moved to the dining room.
I stopped because I thought I heard someone say something, and asked, “Is anyone there?” I received no response and decided to just move outdoors as I didn’t feel ‘stable’ enough to maintain much of this experience. In hindsight, however, it may have been the man you will read about at the end of this experience.
Moving outdoors, I see the familiar trees in my yard and it gives me validation that I am out. (Despite my frequent OBE’s, I still feel reassured when I see things that validate my experience!) Without a specific destination planned, I use my preferred ‘to my higher self!’ affirmation to go wherever my spirit feels I will learn best.
I zoom up to the dark sky, seeing tiny dots of white lights in the blackness as I move forward. It changes to the sensation of the backward black tunnel – and it continues for quite a while! When it stops, though, I find myself once again back on the couch, feeling like I’m awake!
With hesitating, I just roll back off the couch and once again, find it is heavy and difficult to move. Affirming ‘to the door!’ I move to the front door and still find my movements difficult and not as clear as they can be.
I move to the front yard and still feeling heavy and ‘grounded’ as I lie on the soft grass. Looking up, I see my parent’s house next door, and decide I’d like to just go see what’s going on over there. However, no amount of affirmations or intentions made me move!
As I’m lying there, I’m wondering what’s happening? I look to my hands and see they are ‘glowing’, signaling and validating that I am indeed out of body, just hindered in my movements.
I spy a bit of paper lying near me and I start to pick up the long strip of paper, wondering “what is this for?” It appears to be EKG paper (familiar strips of long paper I use regularly at work in the hospital) and as I move to pick the continuous strip of paper up, I notice it is wrapped completely around my house, from end to end!!
My thoughts at that time were that somehow it was showing me that this experience would be ‘work-related’, but I am still not sure how it is. I also remember thinking, “I can’t let experience go too long as I need to record it”, but then decided I didn’t do too much, so I wouldn’t stop the experience yet!
As I realize there is just too much paper here to pick up, I let go of it…only to find myself immediately back in body on the couch! Thinking I’m awake, but not being sure, I am able to roll out and once again find myself standing in the living room.
This time it was an easy roll out, and I even remember thinking, ‘wow, third time’s the charm!’ As I begin to move away, I am aware of someone standing just behind me, off to my right.
I see the dark shape of a man, with a growling ‘zombie-like’ voice that says, “Give me more medicine now!” He grabs both my hands and holds them tight!
Somehow I am able to maintain control of my fear, even though I’m backing up to move away! I know I can’t be hurt, but it was an intense ‘sound’ to his voice, and the ‘physical’ grasp of his hands was very real!
He repeated “Give me more medicine now!” and I remember thinking I have to do something, but what? So I say, “Go to the Light!” (Not really knowing why I said this!) He continues to hold my hands and growl, so I reaffirm, “go to the Light!”
I have the ‘knowing’ that there is more I need to do, but I cannot think clearly enough to remember with this very real sensation of physical touch. So I add, “go to the Light NOW!” hoping that this would help, only to realize as he released my hands that I should have sent him Love!
I believe this experience was a learning one to show me that I still need some help in remembering that it is Love that conquers all fear! I am able to control the fear, and maintain the experience, however, I need to also remember that in order to help, and I have to send Love in return.
These experiences with fear, both my own created thoughts of fear (as in the parking lot) and actual fear with ‘close’ encounters were given to show me that in order to move ahead, I must learn to emanate Love to all I meet.
Monday, February 23, 2009
William Buhlman Workshops - Please go!
I thought I’d take the time to make sure those of you who are really interested in learning how to dreamwalk and travel out of body are aware of the upcoming workshops to be held by my mentor, Mr. William Buhlman, author of Adventures Beyond the Body and Secrets of the Soul.
As you know, I attended one of his workshops and it was one of the best experiences I ever had! I highly recommend those who are able to attend to do so, you won’t regret it! It may even help you move ahead with your own experiences, just as it did with mine!
See my blog posts #20 and #21 for more details as to what the workshop incorporates and for the OBE I had during that workshop!
If you can, please go!
Be sure to tell Mr. Buhlman, as you will get a chance to talk to him personally, that Karen sent you! :)
Below are the workshop sites and dates, and you can follow this link to find the contact information and more details: http://www.astralinfo.org/upcomingevents.htm
PLEASE GO IF YOU CAN! ...and remember, Karen sent you!
WILLAM BUHLMAN’S
Adventures Beyond the Body Workshops
BOULDER, COLORADO
The Avalon 6185 Arapahoe Rd. Boulder, CO
Located at the base of the Flatirons in the Rocky Mountain Front Range
March 20-22, 2009
SEDONA, ARIZONA
Sedona Masonic Lodge, 135 Shrine Road, Sedona, Arizona
A wonderful location situated in the scenic heart of Sedona
April 17-19, 2009
South American Workshop
CARACAS, VENEZUELA
San Antonio de los Altos, VÃa Amarillo, Calle Sur 1, Los Pinitos Villa Rafols, Estado Miranda, Venezuela
May 8-10, 2009
LYON, FRANCE
A wonderful B&B location situated in the scenic rolling hills of southern France.
June 13-14, 2009
ROME, ITALY
A great location near the Forum in the heart of Rome
June 20-21. 2009
As you know, I attended one of his workshops and it was one of the best experiences I ever had! I highly recommend those who are able to attend to do so, you won’t regret it! It may even help you move ahead with your own experiences, just as it did with mine!
See my blog posts #20 and #21 for more details as to what the workshop incorporates and for the OBE I had during that workshop!
If you can, please go!
Be sure to tell Mr. Buhlman, as you will get a chance to talk to him personally, that Karen sent you! :)
Below are the workshop sites and dates, and you can follow this link to find the contact information and more details: http://www.astralinfo.org/upcomingevents.htm
PLEASE GO IF YOU CAN! ...and remember, Karen sent you!
WILLAM BUHLMAN’S
Adventures Beyond the Body Workshops
BOULDER, COLORADO
The Avalon 6185 Arapahoe Rd. Boulder, CO
Located at the base of the Flatirons in the Rocky Mountain Front Range
March 20-22, 2009
SEDONA, ARIZONA
Sedona Masonic Lodge, 135 Shrine Road, Sedona, Arizona
A wonderful location situated in the scenic heart of Sedona
April 17-19, 2009
South American Workshop
CARACAS, VENEZUELA
San Antonio de los Altos, VÃa Amarillo, Calle Sur 1, Los Pinitos Villa Rafols, Estado Miranda, Venezuela
May 8-10, 2009
LYON, FRANCE
A wonderful B&B location situated in the scenic rolling hills of southern France.
June 13-14, 2009
ROME, ITALY
A great location near the Forum in the heart of Rome
June 20-21. 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
97) NJ connection-Father of five-Jonathan-Rocket-Rapids/slide/work
2/15/09
For this experience, I had set the intention of trying to ‘real time’ connect with NJ and seeing if we were able to send/receive any images, energy, etc. and to have another OBE if possible.
I woke about 1:45am and went to the couch, and can say now that I had a great response from the ‘connection’ with NJ – a tremendous amount of energy and images were validated and correlated by him! :)
Next memory is that I remember I was able to climb OOB, feeling that heavy sensation as if close to physical again. It was dark, but I was able to get my vision improved by pulling off whatever I felt I had around my eyes to see again. I moved away from the couch, because I didn’t want to ‘see’ myself on it (knowing I’d go back in!) and moved to the front door.
I passed my dog Buddy, and remember calling to him, ‘let’s go’ thinking he’d like to accompany me. Facing Buddy, but moving backward, I remember figuring it’d be different to float backwards out the front door, so I did!
It was totally dark, but I put out the intention to zoom up and go see the Earth from space again as a primary destination. Somehow, within that blackness of travel, I felt or was told that I had to go where I was needed.
I next became aware of lying back on the couch, listening to some talk, as if a radio station DJ. It was so clear, and because this has been a ‘signal’ that I’m still OOB, I just let go and enjoyed listening to what was being said. However, I have no memory of what he was talking about!
I realized then that someone was lying on the couch next to me, as I could feel strong male arms wrapped around me! He spoke but so softly that I had to ask him to repeat words at times. Enjoying this ‘closeness’, I figured it was a guide (or someone I wanted it to be!) and didn’t try to intervene.
However, upon further realization that our closeness was much too ‘physical’, (as I could remember what it felt like recently to be with one who is more ‘spiritually’ vibrating), I asked, “who’s here with me?” as I moved away from the couch.
I saw a white male, average build, with straggly blond chin-length hair and unshaven face. He appeared to be angry at someone, telling me emphatically about how his brother did something to him (something about a meal?) I had to change his emotions, and upon hearing he had five sons, I asked more about them. His demeanor changed, and he became the proud happy father, telling me their ages (17, 15, 12, 10, ? ) and I could see I had his attention.
I am not really sure how this ended - however, I do know that the ‘door’ in my living room was important in the final outcome. I know he needed help, and I am guessing that I had to get him to realize there was more for him ‘through the door’ so that he’d go and find his way to the Light.
My next recall is that I am back on the couch, and can hear what sounds like the countdown for a rocket take-off! 5 -4-3-2-1…..I could see a matrix of color and light patterns on the ceiling, as if blinking lights and movement, feeling like I’m about to ‘take off’!!!
I hear the words, “a new beginning” “a new phase just starting” or at least something to that effect. I’m thinking how ‘intense’ it all feels, SO much more than the usual false awakening!! It assumed it was a false awakening as I knew I was on the couch, but this intense ‘feeling’ was something new!
Now, my next recollection IS that of a false awakening, as I hear my son coming into the room, yet I know he’s not really here! He moves to the couch where I am and starts tickling me with a feather in my face to try to wake me!! I knew I had to stay with it and just ‘let go’ to see what happens next.
Lying on the couch, I now feel a small hand next to me, knowing it’s a child. I sit up, and see this young boy around age 10. I ask him his name, and he tells me ‘Jonathan’, and then starts telling me how he hates ‘music class’ and other school problems. Again, I know I have to help and I am not sure what to say or do!
I ask him if anyone is here with him or if he saw any Light. Again, I have only the vaguest memory of the ending, as Jonathan then moved to part of the couch where my head would lie, as if looking for something he lost. I could barely hear what he was saying, and my memory of the ending is lost at this point. I would hope that having Jonathan look for something may have been all that was needed to get him to ‘find’ those who were there to help him.
Once again, because all these events have now passed, I’m aware enough to know that I have to get something recorded or all will be lost! I find my recorder, and sure enough, it’s in pieces!! This time, however, I KNOW it’s not true, so I force myself to awaken a bit more and try to find it again.
For a second and even a third time, (!) I found my recorder in pieces, but each time knowing I just had to force myself awake a bit more so that I could record it! Until I woke completely and actually recorded what I could remember, I was so ‘deep’ that I knew I could have moved back into another OBE easily, however, I wanted to have as much as I could recorded!
After recording, I did go back OOB one more time, and this time definitely met my guide who gave me a ‘hand squeeze’ while I was traveling to let me know it was him! I will post here the beginning of the experience, but not its entirety as it had a lot to do with my personal learning and would not be as interesting.
What is interesting about this last experience is how I took control and changed the experiences to fit my needs and move OOB. I remember trying to get back to my ‘car’ (aka body, symbolically I believe) after being somewhere. I found my car sitting in water, as the ice that it had previously been parked on had melted to a great degree!
The only way I was going to get back, was to try to step upon this submerged ‘stone’ in the water, to use as a stepping stone to reach the car. The water was deep, dirty, and murky, and I was fearful of falling into it. (Symbolism for the subconscious (water) and the ‘unclean/unhealthy’ emotions that melted into it?)
Of course, trying to step upon this stone, I did slip and fall completely into the water!! However, instead of panic and fear, I somehow knew that I just had to ‘let go’ once again, and take control. I could feel the water as it seeped up around my head and ears, and decided I was not going to stay here! I made the intention that this water was river rapids to get some movement going.
The movement started and the clean bubbling water was so refreshing and fun! Now the movement became faster and I sat up as if on a slide, enjoying the swaying and swishing fun that a long mountainous slide would give me!
This is where I became aware of arms around me again, and as I put my arms up to enjoy the ride (like you see on roller coasters!), I grabbed the hands of the one behind me and he gave me this ‘knowing’ squeeze as if to let me know that all is going to be ok! This one was definitely my guide or another close spiritual friend!
We had so much fun on the slide, and at the bottom when it was time to ‘shoot off’ the end of it, there was such an intense energy shift that my guide/friend had to hold on tight to me to prevent my separation from him! The experience then changed to one that gave me a personal message of learning, which appropriately fits the beginning symbolism of this experience.
Thanks for hanging in and reading this long one...my experiences have certainly been kicked up a notch in their intensity and degree of learning. I hope by sharing these experiences, everyone who reads these can also know that they too CAN do this!
I am no one special, with the same abilities as everyone...the first step is always just taking note of what you remember in your 'dreams' and and write/record them! After a while you become 'aware' that you are dreaming while in it, and that's when you take control!
As always, any insight is greatly appreciated!!
For this experience, I had set the intention of trying to ‘real time’ connect with NJ and seeing if we were able to send/receive any images, energy, etc. and to have another OBE if possible.
I woke about 1:45am and went to the couch, and can say now that I had a great response from the ‘connection’ with NJ – a tremendous amount of energy and images were validated and correlated by him! :)
Next memory is that I remember I was able to climb OOB, feeling that heavy sensation as if close to physical again. It was dark, but I was able to get my vision improved by pulling off whatever I felt I had around my eyes to see again. I moved away from the couch, because I didn’t want to ‘see’ myself on it (knowing I’d go back in!) and moved to the front door.
I passed my dog Buddy, and remember calling to him, ‘let’s go’ thinking he’d like to accompany me. Facing Buddy, but moving backward, I remember figuring it’d be different to float backwards out the front door, so I did!
It was totally dark, but I put out the intention to zoom up and go see the Earth from space again as a primary destination. Somehow, within that blackness of travel, I felt or was told that I had to go where I was needed.
I next became aware of lying back on the couch, listening to some talk, as if a radio station DJ. It was so clear, and because this has been a ‘signal’ that I’m still OOB, I just let go and enjoyed listening to what was being said. However, I have no memory of what he was talking about!
I realized then that someone was lying on the couch next to me, as I could feel strong male arms wrapped around me! He spoke but so softly that I had to ask him to repeat words at times. Enjoying this ‘closeness’, I figured it was a guide (or someone I wanted it to be!) and didn’t try to intervene.
However, upon further realization that our closeness was much too ‘physical’, (as I could remember what it felt like recently to be with one who is more ‘spiritually’ vibrating), I asked, “who’s here with me?” as I moved away from the couch.
I saw a white male, average build, with straggly blond chin-length hair and unshaven face. He appeared to be angry at someone, telling me emphatically about how his brother did something to him (something about a meal?) I had to change his emotions, and upon hearing he had five sons, I asked more about them. His demeanor changed, and he became the proud happy father, telling me their ages (17, 15, 12, 10, ? ) and I could see I had his attention.
I am not really sure how this ended - however, I do know that the ‘door’ in my living room was important in the final outcome. I know he needed help, and I am guessing that I had to get him to realize there was more for him ‘through the door’ so that he’d go and find his way to the Light.
My next recall is that I am back on the couch, and can hear what sounds like the countdown for a rocket take-off! 5 -4-3-2-1…..I could see a matrix of color and light patterns on the ceiling, as if blinking lights and movement, feeling like I’m about to ‘take off’!!!
I hear the words, “a new beginning” “a new phase just starting” or at least something to that effect. I’m thinking how ‘intense’ it all feels, SO much more than the usual false awakening!! It assumed it was a false awakening as I knew I was on the couch, but this intense ‘feeling’ was something new!
Now, my next recollection IS that of a false awakening, as I hear my son coming into the room, yet I know he’s not really here! He moves to the couch where I am and starts tickling me with a feather in my face to try to wake me!! I knew I had to stay with it and just ‘let go’ to see what happens next.
Lying on the couch, I now feel a small hand next to me, knowing it’s a child. I sit up, and see this young boy around age 10. I ask him his name, and he tells me ‘Jonathan’, and then starts telling me how he hates ‘music class’ and other school problems. Again, I know I have to help and I am not sure what to say or do!
I ask him if anyone is here with him or if he saw any Light. Again, I have only the vaguest memory of the ending, as Jonathan then moved to part of the couch where my head would lie, as if looking for something he lost. I could barely hear what he was saying, and my memory of the ending is lost at this point. I would hope that having Jonathan look for something may have been all that was needed to get him to ‘find’ those who were there to help him.
Once again, because all these events have now passed, I’m aware enough to know that I have to get something recorded or all will be lost! I find my recorder, and sure enough, it’s in pieces!! This time, however, I KNOW it’s not true, so I force myself to awaken a bit more and try to find it again.
For a second and even a third time, (!) I found my recorder in pieces, but each time knowing I just had to force myself awake a bit more so that I could record it! Until I woke completely and actually recorded what I could remember, I was so ‘deep’ that I knew I could have moved back into another OBE easily, however, I wanted to have as much as I could recorded!
After recording, I did go back OOB one more time, and this time definitely met my guide who gave me a ‘hand squeeze’ while I was traveling to let me know it was him! I will post here the beginning of the experience, but not its entirety as it had a lot to do with my personal learning and would not be as interesting.
What is interesting about this last experience is how I took control and changed the experiences to fit my needs and move OOB. I remember trying to get back to my ‘car’ (aka body, symbolically I believe) after being somewhere. I found my car sitting in water, as the ice that it had previously been parked on had melted to a great degree!
The only way I was going to get back, was to try to step upon this submerged ‘stone’ in the water, to use as a stepping stone to reach the car. The water was deep, dirty, and murky, and I was fearful of falling into it. (Symbolism for the subconscious (water) and the ‘unclean/unhealthy’ emotions that melted into it?)
Of course, trying to step upon this stone, I did slip and fall completely into the water!! However, instead of panic and fear, I somehow knew that I just had to ‘let go’ once again, and take control. I could feel the water as it seeped up around my head and ears, and decided I was not going to stay here! I made the intention that this water was river rapids to get some movement going.
The movement started and the clean bubbling water was so refreshing and fun! Now the movement became faster and I sat up as if on a slide, enjoying the swaying and swishing fun that a long mountainous slide would give me!
This is where I became aware of arms around me again, and as I put my arms up to enjoy the ride (like you see on roller coasters!), I grabbed the hands of the one behind me and he gave me this ‘knowing’ squeeze as if to let me know that all is going to be ok! This one was definitely my guide or another close spiritual friend!
We had so much fun on the slide, and at the bottom when it was time to ‘shoot off’ the end of it, there was such an intense energy shift that my guide/friend had to hold on tight to me to prevent my separation from him! The experience then changed to one that gave me a personal message of learning, which appropriately fits the beginning symbolism of this experience.
Thanks for hanging in and reading this long one...my experiences have certainly been kicked up a notch in their intensity and degree of learning. I hope by sharing these experiences, everyone who reads these can also know that they too CAN do this!
I am no one special, with the same abilities as everyone...the first step is always just taking note of what you remember in your 'dreams' and and write/record them! After a while you become 'aware' that you are dreaming while in it, and that's when you take control!
As always, any insight is greatly appreciated!!
Friday, February 13, 2009
96a) Plane Crash Update!
I thought I should put a post here after hearing of the horrible plane crash in my home state of New York near Buffalo (about a 6 hour drive from my house) - In reading the news releases I am astounded at the similarity of this crash and my description from 2/1/09:
I ‘awoke’ from sleep, watching a small airplane move past my window followed by a much larger passenger jet that was very low to the ground! I was concerned because I ‘felt’ something was wrong and watched in horror as this large passenger jet made a sharp turn and began a nose-dive to the ground!
I became even MORE concerned when I realized how close this airliner was going to crash, almost in my front yard! Now it is interesting what I did next – I was lying in bed, thinking it is early morning nearly time to get up for work, next to my husband, watching this plane nose-dive in a most certain crash in my front yard….I immediately ‘resigned’ myself, calmly and quietly, to my impending death in the assumed fireball explosion, (knowing there was no where to run), and quickly reached over to my husband to give a hug before I passed over.
The similarity of the 'nose-dive' by eyewitnesses, into only my front yard (damage was not widespread), and even one survivor's name being Karen (wife) is just too eerie! And it happened in my home state of New York! (Not to mention the fact that her last name is very familiar sounding to me for some reason!!!)
But I do want to allay any fears for those who remember reading my post to let them know it was not me!
I have been extremely busy and caught up with life lately, yet still have been having OBEs and learning experiences that are showing me that I am being 'worked on' in some way "to make the outer like the inner".... One experience in particular I may share should nothing more interesting show up soon!!
Thanks to those who send emails of concern...I am fine, just very busy!
Karen
I ‘awoke’ from sleep, watching a small airplane move past my window followed by a much larger passenger jet that was very low to the ground! I was concerned because I ‘felt’ something was wrong and watched in horror as this large passenger jet made a sharp turn and began a nose-dive to the ground!
I became even MORE concerned when I realized how close this airliner was going to crash, almost in my front yard! Now it is interesting what I did next – I was lying in bed, thinking it is early morning nearly time to get up for work, next to my husband, watching this plane nose-dive in a most certain crash in my front yard….I immediately ‘resigned’ myself, calmly and quietly, to my impending death in the assumed fireball explosion, (knowing there was no where to run), and quickly reached over to my husband to give a hug before I passed over.
The similarity of the 'nose-dive' by eyewitnesses, into only my front yard (damage was not widespread), and even one survivor's name being Karen (wife) is just too eerie! And it happened in my home state of New York! (Not to mention the fact that her last name is very familiar sounding to me for some reason!!!)
But I do want to allay any fears for those who remember reading my post to let them know it was not me!
I have been extremely busy and caught up with life lately, yet still have been having OBEs and learning experiences that are showing me that I am being 'worked on' in some way "to make the outer like the inner".... One experience in particular I may share should nothing more interesting show up soon!!
Thanks to those who send emails of concern...I am fine, just very busy!
Karen
Saturday, January 31, 2009
96) 'Death' Transition and Full Power OBE
1.30.09 5:15 am
(NOTES: Woke 4am initially, reluctantly used the bathroom even though I was so tired --I did because I had a dream that told me I had to get up!!-- and then went back to bed. I fully awakened at 5:15am after this entire experience)
I ‘awoke’ from sleep, watching a small airplane move past my window followed by a much larger passenger jet that was very low to the ground! I was concerned because I ‘felt’ something was wrong and watched in horror as this large passenger jet made a sharp turn and began a nose-dive to the ground!
I became even MORE concerned when I realized how close this airliner was going to crash, almost in my front yard! Now it is interesting what I did next – I was lying in bed, thinking it is early morning nearly time to get up for work, next to my husband, watching this plane nose-dive in a most certain crash in my front yard….I immediately ‘resigned’ myself, calmly and quietly, to my impending death in the assumed fireball explosion, (knowing there was no where to run), and quickly reached over to my husband to give a hug before I passed over. There was absolutely NO fear!
As the ‘crash’ occurred, there was blackness, a sense of overwhelming ‘energy movement’ and some dull roaring (perhaps was the separation noise) that kept me aware of what was occurring. I am actually thinking that I am ‘passing over’ and am thankful that it is quick and painless! I somehow knew it wouldn’t hurt, as it would only be a ‘transition’. I lay there quietly and waited, knowing I would soon find myself ‘on the other side’ in spirit.
My next ‘lucid’ thoughts were that I am once again lying in bed, same position, and ‘awake’ to realize that it was all a very lucid dream, and one that I feel I should record as not many people get to ‘feel’ what it is like to ‘pass over’!! lol
I reach for my recorder at the bedside, and again, I find it in pieces! I felt clumsy, with coins dropping on the floor (I remember one being the US Mercury dime) and magazines falling off the bedside stand.
Now you may remember that this has been a learned ‘signal’ for the fact I am out of body, however, I take no heed at this time, primarily because this ‘wakefulness’ is SO physical in its sensations, even more so than I ever remember! I desperately try to put it back together and I do succeed in recording what I recall of the airplane crash (In hindsight, nothing was really recorded!)
I now get up, as I know it’s time for work, even picking up the magazine on the floor to place it back on the dresser as I noticed an article I wanted to read in it, and headed for my bathroom. Again, no thoughts of it being anything more than my usual work day routine.
This is where I am astonished to look into the mirror and see that my appearance is that of one I had just over a year ago when my hair was a bit longer and it was pulled back in a most disheveled appearance! This startled me enough to realize, ‘hey wait, I can’t have long hair now – so I must be out of body!!!’
In order to confirm this I try to put my hand through the walls and am SO shocked to see that I can! I feel the texture changes and turn to leave the bathroom because I’m not staying here! :) I see the skylight above me (one that is not in this room, but another room of the house) and zoom up to leave!
I can still remember how it felt to pass through the skylight, having my head emerge into the cooler outside air and am so excited to think this is a NEW way of experiencing this travel! I think of my mother who lives next door and plan on visiting, but as soon as I am mostly out of the house, I feel the pullback signal and soft transitioning of a return.
Confusion reigns for a few moments upon true awakening, because I still recall the plane crash ‘dream’ and the previous attempt at getting up for work! I realize this was a ‘solid’ out of body experience into the physical, as I was ‘solidly’ convinced I was doing nothing more than my usual ‘physical’ routine! :)
I really wish I could explain the difference here between this OBE and my others. I know the previous OBEs were also ‘real’ in some sense, but they pale in comparison with how ‘real’ and intense I felt with this one. Phenomenal was the word I used to describe it upon recording.
My own attempt at explaining this change is to think that my beginning OBEs were in a ‘less full’ version of myself, as I had to learn the process and ability to move about and think within this realm. With the last two experiences (one I did not post yet) there is definitely a higher degree of ‘physical-ness’ or fullness that I am experiencing.
I initially thought my OBEs were different in feeling and appearance only due to the differing levels of astral realms that I enter into, but now I’m thinking it is only an additional explanation of the astral body experience. There are many levels of ‘wholeness’ you can be in as well.
Any thoughts from anyone?
Also, in hindsight, I see the fact that I dreamt I ‘had’ to get up at 4am prior to this experience to go into the bathroom may have been ‘planned’ as well – that gave me a ‘comparison’ visit to the bathroom that allowed me to see that the next one was to be questioned!! lol
(NOTES: Woke 4am initially, reluctantly used the bathroom even though I was so tired --I did because I had a dream that told me I had to get up!!-- and then went back to bed. I fully awakened at 5:15am after this entire experience)
I ‘awoke’ from sleep, watching a small airplane move past my window followed by a much larger passenger jet that was very low to the ground! I was concerned because I ‘felt’ something was wrong and watched in horror as this large passenger jet made a sharp turn and began a nose-dive to the ground!
I became even MORE concerned when I realized how close this airliner was going to crash, almost in my front yard! Now it is interesting what I did next – I was lying in bed, thinking it is early morning nearly time to get up for work, next to my husband, watching this plane nose-dive in a most certain crash in my front yard….I immediately ‘resigned’ myself, calmly and quietly, to my impending death in the assumed fireball explosion, (knowing there was no where to run), and quickly reached over to my husband to give a hug before I passed over. There was absolutely NO fear!
As the ‘crash’ occurred, there was blackness, a sense of overwhelming ‘energy movement’ and some dull roaring (perhaps was the separation noise) that kept me aware of what was occurring. I am actually thinking that I am ‘passing over’ and am thankful that it is quick and painless! I somehow knew it wouldn’t hurt, as it would only be a ‘transition’. I lay there quietly and waited, knowing I would soon find myself ‘on the other side’ in spirit.
My next ‘lucid’ thoughts were that I am once again lying in bed, same position, and ‘awake’ to realize that it was all a very lucid dream, and one that I feel I should record as not many people get to ‘feel’ what it is like to ‘pass over’!! lol
I reach for my recorder at the bedside, and again, I find it in pieces! I felt clumsy, with coins dropping on the floor (I remember one being the US Mercury dime) and magazines falling off the bedside stand.
Now you may remember that this has been a learned ‘signal’ for the fact I am out of body, however, I take no heed at this time, primarily because this ‘wakefulness’ is SO physical in its sensations, even more so than I ever remember! I desperately try to put it back together and I do succeed in recording what I recall of the airplane crash (In hindsight, nothing was really recorded!)
I now get up, as I know it’s time for work, even picking up the magazine on the floor to place it back on the dresser as I noticed an article I wanted to read in it, and headed for my bathroom. Again, no thoughts of it being anything more than my usual work day routine.
This is where I am astonished to look into the mirror and see that my appearance is that of one I had just over a year ago when my hair was a bit longer and it was pulled back in a most disheveled appearance! This startled me enough to realize, ‘hey wait, I can’t have long hair now – so I must be out of body!!!’
In order to confirm this I try to put my hand through the walls and am SO shocked to see that I can! I feel the texture changes and turn to leave the bathroom because I’m not staying here! :) I see the skylight above me (one that is not in this room, but another room of the house) and zoom up to leave!
I can still remember how it felt to pass through the skylight, having my head emerge into the cooler outside air and am so excited to think this is a NEW way of experiencing this travel! I think of my mother who lives next door and plan on visiting, but as soon as I am mostly out of the house, I feel the pullback signal and soft transitioning of a return.
Confusion reigns for a few moments upon true awakening, because I still recall the plane crash ‘dream’ and the previous attempt at getting up for work! I realize this was a ‘solid’ out of body experience into the physical, as I was ‘solidly’ convinced I was doing nothing more than my usual ‘physical’ routine! :)
I really wish I could explain the difference here between this OBE and my others. I know the previous OBEs were also ‘real’ in some sense, but they pale in comparison with how ‘real’ and intense I felt with this one. Phenomenal was the word I used to describe it upon recording.
My own attempt at explaining this change is to think that my beginning OBEs were in a ‘less full’ version of myself, as I had to learn the process and ability to move about and think within this realm. With the last two experiences (one I did not post yet) there is definitely a higher degree of ‘physical-ness’ or fullness that I am experiencing.
I initially thought my OBEs were different in feeling and appearance only due to the differing levels of astral realms that I enter into, but now I’m thinking it is only an additional explanation of the astral body experience. There are many levels of ‘wholeness’ you can be in as well.
Any thoughts from anyone?
Also, in hindsight, I see the fact that I dreamt I ‘had’ to get up at 4am prior to this experience to go into the bathroom may have been ‘planned’ as well – that gave me a ‘comparison’ visit to the bathroom that allowed me to see that the next one was to be questioned!! lol
Sunday, January 25, 2009
95) Early AM OBE with Full Control
1.25.09
This experience was unique in many ways as you will read shortly. The major difference is that I had the luxury of staying in bed after waking, and to use this time for some energy work and visualizations in hopes of getting OOB.
Thanks to N.J., I used a little different energy visualizations in that my in-breath would pull the white light into my second chakra from both my head and my feet, and then the out-breath would send this energy up and down throughout my body. The sensation of circling in my palms was then a signal that I was about to be in the proper mindset, so I used my affirmations of ‘mind-awake, body-asleep…now I am out of body!’ to emphasis my intentions.
Remember I was visualizing different scenes when an 18 wheel tractor-trailer truck with painted sides appeared in front of an area I was looking at. The painted sides of the truck completely blended in with background, with a stone wall appearance rising above a body of water painted on the truck.
As the truck moved in front of the area I was in, it completed blended in with the scenery and I was unable to see the truck! I then moved forward, and the truck became apparent again, so I moved back to marvel at how amazing this total camouflage was! With my position, I could make the truck completely hidden and then move forward to see that it was only an illusion.
In hindsight, this may have been a preparation for me to move into the next scene. I next remember looking at the beautiful waterfall that was flowing across a large lake from where I was standing. As I love waterfalls, I wanted to get closer and somehow I KNEW I was able to move into this scene if I wanted to. At the same time, I also KNEW I was lying in bed, in the exact position that I really was in!
Wanting to see this waterfall, I just ‘pushed’ forward into the scene, and immediately heard the rushing, windy sounds of separation! This loud blowing sound I have heard many times before and I knew at this point I was separating!
However, this was NOT as easy an exit as my usual roll-outs! I was tugging and pushing so hard, hearing that wind, and focusing on that waterfall to try to control my movements! I feel I am succeeding in separating, but I find myself veering off from over the lake toward a building on my left that is on the edge of the lake.
I am now standing next to this building by the lake, knowing the waterfall is around the corner of the building to my left, so I enter the water. I immediately ‘feel’ the change in texture as I glided into the water, and take the time to go completely under to feel the difference. I put my head partially out, and still remember the different sensations I had being just partially submerged.
This exit is different also in that I FULLY KNOW that I am out of body, there is no doubt in my mind whatsoever and I am enjoying knowing this fact and using it to explore instead of just ‘letting go’ and ‘following along’ with whatever happens to me.
Now I want to get to the waterfall, and as I know I can move without swimming/walking, I just push ahead through the water, but I’m moving so slowly! I remember worrying that maybe I’m moving so slowly because the water is so ‘thick’ and heavy, so I think ‘jet-ski’ to try to make my movements faster! lol It worked!
(The belief we all have that we can’t ‘walk’ on water is quite difficult to overcome! This may also have been the reason I did not go into the water initially, but had to be steered toward the land next to the building at the water’s edge.)
I move to the area where I saw the waterfall, but when I get there, there is NO waterfall! I sense that I am to make the waterfall appear, so I visualize it and watch as it appears!! I can feel the water now flowing down and I play in the turbulent water as it hits the lake! (I do remember, though, that the waterfall I visualized certainly wasn’t as beautiful as the one I had seen initially!! lol)
Interestingly, my husband appears on the bank of this lake and yells to me something about getting a good bargain on a ‘case of nuts’ (!) he bought from his friend Dave. (I do think again this may have been MY belief somehow that I know my husband thinks I’m ‘nuts’ when I tell him about my adventures! lol) He also said something about, ‘well, I see you decided to put in a lake instead of a pool!’ as if we had been discussing this new addition!
I began to feel that transitional pullback and quickly made my key words in reverse order to help me remember as much detail as I can. Despite my best efforts, after recording I could not get back into as deep a mindset as I needed to return.
This experience was so different from my usual nighttime OOBs – I had that ‘dual consciousness’ initially knowing I was both in bed, yet able to go into my scene. I had a more difficult separation this time with the rushing noises, but with full awareness of separating. I was able to maintain full control at all time, never having to just ‘let go’ and allow things to happen.
As I have mentioned, I can also see that my ‘beliefs’ play a big part of what I experience – hence the reason many have such a difficult time in learning to navigate the astral experience. It has taken me a long time to get even this far as I know I am still a novice in learning these new realms!
This experience was unique in many ways as you will read shortly. The major difference is that I had the luxury of staying in bed after waking, and to use this time for some energy work and visualizations in hopes of getting OOB.
Thanks to N.J., I used a little different energy visualizations in that my in-breath would pull the white light into my second chakra from both my head and my feet, and then the out-breath would send this energy up and down throughout my body. The sensation of circling in my palms was then a signal that I was about to be in the proper mindset, so I used my affirmations of ‘mind-awake, body-asleep…now I am out of body!’ to emphasis my intentions.
Remember I was visualizing different scenes when an 18 wheel tractor-trailer truck with painted sides appeared in front of an area I was looking at. The painted sides of the truck completely blended in with background, with a stone wall appearance rising above a body of water painted on the truck.
As the truck moved in front of the area I was in, it completed blended in with the scenery and I was unable to see the truck! I then moved forward, and the truck became apparent again, so I moved back to marvel at how amazing this total camouflage was! With my position, I could make the truck completely hidden and then move forward to see that it was only an illusion.
In hindsight, this may have been a preparation for me to move into the next scene. I next remember looking at the beautiful waterfall that was flowing across a large lake from where I was standing. As I love waterfalls, I wanted to get closer and somehow I KNEW I was able to move into this scene if I wanted to. At the same time, I also KNEW I was lying in bed, in the exact position that I really was in!
Wanting to see this waterfall, I just ‘pushed’ forward into the scene, and immediately heard the rushing, windy sounds of separation! This loud blowing sound I have heard many times before and I knew at this point I was separating!
However, this was NOT as easy an exit as my usual roll-outs! I was tugging and pushing so hard, hearing that wind, and focusing on that waterfall to try to control my movements! I feel I am succeeding in separating, but I find myself veering off from over the lake toward a building on my left that is on the edge of the lake.
I am now standing next to this building by the lake, knowing the waterfall is around the corner of the building to my left, so I enter the water. I immediately ‘feel’ the change in texture as I glided into the water, and take the time to go completely under to feel the difference. I put my head partially out, and still remember the different sensations I had being just partially submerged.
This exit is different also in that I FULLY KNOW that I am out of body, there is no doubt in my mind whatsoever and I am enjoying knowing this fact and using it to explore instead of just ‘letting go’ and ‘following along’ with whatever happens to me.
Now I want to get to the waterfall, and as I know I can move without swimming/walking, I just push ahead through the water, but I’m moving so slowly! I remember worrying that maybe I’m moving so slowly because the water is so ‘thick’ and heavy, so I think ‘jet-ski’ to try to make my movements faster! lol It worked!
(The belief we all have that we can’t ‘walk’ on water is quite difficult to overcome! This may also have been the reason I did not go into the water initially, but had to be steered toward the land next to the building at the water’s edge.)
I move to the area where I saw the waterfall, but when I get there, there is NO waterfall! I sense that I am to make the waterfall appear, so I visualize it and watch as it appears!! I can feel the water now flowing down and I play in the turbulent water as it hits the lake! (I do remember, though, that the waterfall I visualized certainly wasn’t as beautiful as the one I had seen initially!! lol)
Interestingly, my husband appears on the bank of this lake and yells to me something about getting a good bargain on a ‘case of nuts’ (!) he bought from his friend Dave. (I do think again this may have been MY belief somehow that I know my husband thinks I’m ‘nuts’ when I tell him about my adventures! lol) He also said something about, ‘well, I see you decided to put in a lake instead of a pool!’ as if we had been discussing this new addition!
I began to feel that transitional pullback and quickly made my key words in reverse order to help me remember as much detail as I can. Despite my best efforts, after recording I could not get back into as deep a mindset as I needed to return.
This experience was so different from my usual nighttime OOBs – I had that ‘dual consciousness’ initially knowing I was both in bed, yet able to go into my scene. I had a more difficult separation this time with the rushing noises, but with full awareness of separating. I was able to maintain full control at all time, never having to just ‘let go’ and allow things to happen.
As I have mentioned, I can also see that my ‘beliefs’ play a big part of what I experience – hence the reason many have such a difficult time in learning to navigate the astral experience. It has taken me a long time to get even this far as I know I am still a novice in learning these new realms!
94) Help from my Sons
This is another experience I had, once again waking at the unusual time of 12:30am after just a few hours sleep! While I was lying there, trying to get back to sleep, I figured I’d try to ‘play’ with the new energy visualizations that I had just learned about from another OBE’r. (see next entry # 95 for details)
I realize I am able to get the energy circling once again in my palms, visualizing it powering up my system. At some point, I then realize I’m in full vibrations, and am able to make them stronger and weaker upon command. At one point, I get them almost to the point of being painful, but I knew I was in control.
I feel the floating sensations, and see hypnagogic images forming, mostly geometric shapes, again remaining fully in control and playing with them until I feel a sensation on my feet! I have no memory of separation, yet I am now aware of tapping and playful moving of my right toes.
I realize somehow they are a young child’s hands, playing with my feet, so I take my left foot and start tickling the little boy (about age 2-3) who I now see hanging onto my right foot! I pick him up and bring him up on the bed, all the time tickling and playing with him, enjoying his laughter and the fun we are having. (In the recording, I mention that I cannot recall what else we did, but we did do other fun things together for a while)
At the next recall, the experience became more dream-like because I noticed the boy seemed to get older in age. I was not sure what to do with him, and got up to take him to the door that appeared. He wasn’t letting go, and he stood there forlornly looking at me, not wanting to go through this doorway!
Realizing he was ‘just a child’ in spite of his looks, I felt I had to take control and I opened the door and pushed him into the next room! Closing the door quickly behind him, I told him, “I have to think for a minute!” because I was really not sure what to do next!!
Standing there, I could see through the ‘wall’ into the room, and watched as he took off into the room (again as a young child of 2 or 3), so I opened the door to go in with him. I am astounded to see my OWN two sons in the room (both as young children of ages 3 and 5 – not 25 and 27 as they are today!)
My older son is playing with blocks, laughing as he knocks them down. My younger son is playing quietly off to the side, and this new young boy is hold what looks like a vacuum cleaner!! He’s making ‘vacuum’ noises as he plays with it, and I remember thinking, ‘gee, I should really turn it on and put him to work!’ lol All three boys were playing independently, yet together…that was the feeling. At this point I awaken, and record what I remember.
What is interesting here is that I remember a previous experience where a woman was thanking me for my boys and how much they helped her son when they were younger (see #12 in blog posts). I have no idea if it is the same reference, but I am still very happy to know my boys are helping others as well! (even though they may not know it!)
I realize I am able to get the energy circling once again in my palms, visualizing it powering up my system. At some point, I then realize I’m in full vibrations, and am able to make them stronger and weaker upon command. At one point, I get them almost to the point of being painful, but I knew I was in control.
I feel the floating sensations, and see hypnagogic images forming, mostly geometric shapes, again remaining fully in control and playing with them until I feel a sensation on my feet! I have no memory of separation, yet I am now aware of tapping and playful moving of my right toes.
I realize somehow they are a young child’s hands, playing with my feet, so I take my left foot and start tickling the little boy (about age 2-3) who I now see hanging onto my right foot! I pick him up and bring him up on the bed, all the time tickling and playing with him, enjoying his laughter and the fun we are having. (In the recording, I mention that I cannot recall what else we did, but we did do other fun things together for a while)
At the next recall, the experience became more dream-like because I noticed the boy seemed to get older in age. I was not sure what to do with him, and got up to take him to the door that appeared. He wasn’t letting go, and he stood there forlornly looking at me, not wanting to go through this doorway!
Realizing he was ‘just a child’ in spite of his looks, I felt I had to take control and I opened the door and pushed him into the next room! Closing the door quickly behind him, I told him, “I have to think for a minute!” because I was really not sure what to do next!!
Standing there, I could see through the ‘wall’ into the room, and watched as he took off into the room (again as a young child of 2 or 3), so I opened the door to go in with him. I am astounded to see my OWN two sons in the room (both as young children of ages 3 and 5 – not 25 and 27 as they are today!)
My older son is playing with blocks, laughing as he knocks them down. My younger son is playing quietly off to the side, and this new young boy is hold what looks like a vacuum cleaner!! He’s making ‘vacuum’ noises as he plays with it, and I remember thinking, ‘gee, I should really turn it on and put him to work!’ lol All three boys were playing independently, yet together…that was the feeling. At this point I awaken, and record what I remember.
What is interesting here is that I remember a previous experience where a woman was thanking me for my boys and how much they helped her son when they were younger (see #12 in blog posts). I have no idea if it is the same reference, but I am still very happy to know my boys are helping others as well! (even though they may not know it!)
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