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Sunday, March 15, 2009

99) Physical Emotions In OBEs


There has been much turmoil in my life over the past few weeks and as usual, my ability to remember my travels OOB diminishes. I know I am still having my usual frequent exits, however, no matter how I try, the conscious recall of the event fades very quickly when fully awake.

What is interesting is that I can recall trying to remember details while being out with my usual technique of word associations, but every time, once fully awake and back in the ‘real world’, there is no memory left except knowing I was out.

This last experience I am sharing here mainly because I feel it was unusual in my ability to ‘physically’ feel not only texture, but also emotions! Up to this time, I have learned quite well to ‘control’ my emotional responses to anything I encountered, knowing that any extreme emotional response (other than love/happiness) will end my travels. This time, there were physical sensations and emotions that caused even more loss of control and lack of accomplishment within the experience.

There were multiple exits this night, but unfortunately there are few details except for the following. The first time I became aware of my readiness to separate, I easily rolled out, but found myself standing in darkness, barely able to move! I remember calling out for a friend (NJ), in an attempt to move. But for some reason I was immediately back in body, but quickly feeling the readiness to separate sensation.

I rolled out for the second time, and with my “to the door!” affirmation, I started moving but with extreme difficulty! I felt so heavy and so sluggish; I just wanted to get to the door as quickly as possible. I recall seeing my dog Buddy watching me, so I called for him to come with me. I felt concerned and upset for some reason.

It was still dark and I couldn’t see well, so I made a beeline for the front door feeling every texture change as I passed through the different pieces of furniture in my hurry to get outside. (I realize now that with my regular OBEs, I would normally take the usual ‘path’ around the furniture as I do in physical, but this time I was so intent on getting outside, I just moved straight to the door through the furniture!)

Again, I could sharply feel the texture change as I passed through the front door, and I remember standing in my front yard, now feeling the ‘tingle’ of raindrops falling! I recall I was surprised to discover that it was raining!

Suddenly, I found myself back in body, for the third time with the signal to separate. Again, I moved to the front door and outside, still very heavy and barely able to see. This time, I remember feeling the rain drops ‘tingle’ once again, and decided I would try to fly. Again no success with my usual quick take off, so this time I thought maybe I could at least ‘lift and drift’, moving slowly. Thankfully, I was pleased to discover I was lifting gently, but once again, I didn’t get far before finding myself back into body.

I also remember that a few times being out with these first experiences of the night, that I tried desperately to ‘see’ more clearly (as I did not remember to us my ‘Clarity now!’ affirmation.) Instead I remember trying to ‘physically’ open my eyes and I recall that it felt as though I WAS opening them for real! But with the realization that I was seeing ‘too much light’ AND feeling them physically opening, I quickly closed them and continued with the experience.

The last outing of the night began with another ‘false awakening’ that I was at least aware of enough to let it continue. I could hear my stepson and a few of his friends come into the living room directly to the couch where I was sleeping! One sat in the chair next to me, and the others were talking and milling around, paying no attention to me sleeping next to them!

I remember I tried to make a few movements and small noises to let them know I was there (as I am never sure when a false awakening occurs - but felt fairly sure this one was!) One friend even tried to pull the covers off of me, and remember having to grab them back to let them know I was there!

The group moves into the kitchen, and I am rather upset to think the friends were invited over without my knowledge. I realize by now this is definitely a false awakening, and I’m curious so I take this time to easily roll out of body to follow them!

I watched them for a time, while standing outside the kitchen, but then decided I wanted to make contact so I moved into the kitchen and around the lunch counter. I am now trying to make noise to get their attention, and I know I am talking but they are not hearing me!
I recall hearing my ‘voice’, having it sound like a dull “ wah,wah,wah”, and coming out unintelligible.

I realize I am not getting anywhere, I am feeling very frustrated, upset, and unable to think properly. Knowing these are emotions I have to control, I try to send ‘love’, but the best I can muster is ‘gratitude’. (I really don’t know what this means, but that’s what I recorded, so that’s what I’m writing!)

I move back to the dining room area, with the realization I was going to lose the experience, and now feeling quite physically ill and nauseous! Trying to prolong the OOB experience, I tried the little spin and affirmation “to my higher self!” but this spinning only made me more nauseous!!! I have never ever experienced such physical sensations while being OOB before!

I am not sure what is happening with me, so I decide to end the experience intentionally, something else I have never done before! I think directly of my physical body (which was easy since I was feeling such intense physical emotions!) and was able to return quickly.

I know this isn’t much of an experience to share, as I felt was not fully functioning and my emotions seemed to be out of control. However, there were some differences I ‘felt’ from my usual exits, so I thought I’d write this one.

I will share with everyone, however, what I did discover soon after that night’s experiences. That same time that I was OOB, my friend NJ was experiencing some intense emotional upset that I feel I may have somehow picked up on!

There is no way to firmly validate this connection, however, the time and sensations seem to ‘fit’ and since my intention that night was to visit with him, perhaps I shared this turmoil and became more ‘emotional’ and therefore less functioning.

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