79) Spontaneous OBE; Impulsiveness Learning

10.25-26.08 Awakened 12:30a

I was once again surprised to discover I was able to spontaneously enter into an OBE state from the dream state without having to do a lot of preparation prior to sleep. I remember falling to sleep thinking about a recent statement I read that told me it’s a given fact (Universal Law) that anytime you go deeply within and ask for help, it MUST be given.

Despite knowing this previously, somehow this statement resonated even more deeply this time and I felt very comforted to know that help is never far away. I mentally requested this help, to let me understand better what I am to learn and to give me guidance and direction.

I also was thinking upon falling asleep about a recent email I had with another individual who is learning OBE about the use of a falling visualization to induce. Both of these ‘thought patterns’ I feel played a role in my being able to awaken within this dream to get OOB even though I had not ‘set intention’ of traveling that night.

I remember I was dreaming of skydiving and generating that falling sensation and how it must feel to freefall. (I have never skydived in real life, however, I was just asked recently by my daughter if I’d consider it sometime with her, and after only a short pause, said, Yes! :) – the date is still to be determined)

My first recollection was of lying in bed, but different than the one I was in. However, I was aware of movement sensations within my body, and having learned you never just dismiss any chance to get OOB, I decided I’d just roll out and see what happens!

I found myself OOB, standing next to the bed, and having the strongest pulling sensation ever tugging at me to get back in body! I was adamant that I was not going back yet, and remember pulling and pulling without a lot of success. I remembered, ‘to the door!’ which didn’t work (maybe because I did not see a door!) and nearly fell back into body. I looked back to the bed, saw the vague outline of me sleeping and then paused a moment to try to think of what to do next.

I then tried, ‘to the outside!’ and amazingly I was immediately transported to another location. This OBE start up was different in that I was not in my usual ‘real life’ room, yet still knew I was out and able to go places just by affirming my intent.

I found myself in a small house-like building with many rooms, with at least two other male individuals. Again, many memories are lost with the transition back to waking consciousness, however, I was able to request help in retaining some information and this is what I was able to record.

I was enjoying myself in this house, going from room to room, doing something that was helping me to learn to move about in this realm. I remember seeing walls and doors, and enjoying the fact that I could just move through them without a concern. What exactly I was doing in each room, however, is lost to recall.

I knew there was a younger male in the house with me, who may have been the one who brought me here, but there was no interaction with him. I was more interested in the ‘older’ male, who gave the feeling of being ‘in charge’. He was busy working within each room as well, yet I was doggedly following after him, asking question after question in order to better understand whatever I was learning. I was not bothered at all that he would continue to work as we talked, as that is exactly how I do things…multi-tasking!

As we entered one room, I looked outside the window and saw a beautiful pure white crystalline ‘ocean’ of some kind, one that had small scale-like pure white crystals moving gently and regularly (like an ocean surf would) next to the house.

I immediately wanted to go out to see this firsthand, and without thinking twice, popped through the side of the house nearest that window and going out. I was surprised to find it was so cold! I remember standing there with my ‘feet’ in the crystals feeling the cold, watching the waves of crystal surround me. I walked a short distance in the white crystals, to the other end of the house, and knew to just ‘pop’ back inside the house through another wall.

I found myself in another room, one with an older ‘storage’ type feeling, and thought, ‘yup, this is the right room for this end of the house’ so I knew I was where I was back where I was supposed to be.

It was after that crystal ocean experience that I remember walking up to the older male and specifically asking, “I know I have learned you can travel anywhere just by thought, but why can’t I go visit my mother?” The question in general felt it had more to do with visiting any other people who are still in physical while I was OOB.

His response was felt more than heard, so this is the idea of our discussion. He said that I had not learned the ‘control’ that is necessary yet, as I was still a bit headstrong in my actions while OOB. I did not take the time to see the ‘connections’ that are being given to me, yet I remember saying (in my defense) that at least I DID make the ‘connection’ even though it wasn’t the way he was trying to get me to do it. I knew I was smiling as I know I DO do that!

He gave two examples of ‘connections/associations’ he had been trying to send me, and this is difficult to write as it really doesn’t make sense once awake (but it made perfect sense at that time!) He showed me the ‘lead crystals beads’ hanging on a lamp, and then the same ‘lead crystals’ in another part of the room. I was supposed to make the connection between these two to learn something; however, I did it my own way and made the ‘connection/association’ via a different means. I have absolutely no recall as to what the other example was, but it made perfect sense at that time.

I believe he was trying to point out that I do not take the time that is necessary to learn the small steps, always wanting to go explore and take off on my own. (Yes, I am guilty of this, I know! – see my first OOB in my blog (#1) when I just took off without waiting for my helpers! In hindsight, I also believe the exit through the house to the crystal ocean was another example of my impatience and curiosity!)

I followed him into another room as he worked and this room felt more like his ‘private’ room. I recall thinking maybe I shouldn’t be here, as I noticed another female standing by the door with a Bluetooth type headset on her ear, talking. There was no interaction with her, but I thought I might be intruding on some privacy issue.

However, I immediately ‘knew’ that there is no privacy in this realm and that all thoughts and actions are capable of being seen by all others – (this may have been a new learning for me) – so I was no longer concerned about being there. Similarly, I realize the presence of ‘walls and doors’ in the astral are there but are not used for the same ‘privacy’ and blocking, as anyone can just go through them with ease.

Nothing in our discussion was felt to be neither critical nor blameworthy. It was felt to be a learning process and I understood and accepted all that I was being told without a concern. He began speaking again showing me more information when I felt that sharp transition to waking consciousness.

I know once I feel that transition I will be awake, so I always try to remain within that altered consciousness as long as I can to tag my experiences with single words for recall upon waking. I remember frantically realizing I had NO words to tag with, and mentally requested help to please let me remember something! Words then came to me and I was able to remember this much for recording, however, there was SO much more that was lost!

Generally speaking though, this experience has shown me that perhaps I need to take more time to slowly learn the proper processes before trying to go do things on my own in the astral. I am not sure exactly how this relates to my physical life, except perhaps to tell me that I need to slow down and take more time to focus on my own needs so that I may be more aware of the connections and associations being presented to me.

78) Finally! Revealing My Guide!

10/15/08

This was an unplanned and unexpected surprise, as I had no direct ‘intention’ or focus on trying to have an OBE last night! So it is even better (to me) that it was totally spontaneous!

I remember lying in bed (not my usual ‘traveling couch’!), feeling like I’m awake, but very relaxed, wondering if it is near time to get up. I realize that it feels like my legs are floating, and in a position that just couldn’t be possible (up off to the right somewhere!)

I think initially, ‘it can’t be my usual signal for OBE because I’m so awake’, yet still, it FELT just like it was! So, not wanting to take any chance (that’s one thing I have learned with this OBE process!), I tell myself I’ll just roll out and see what happens!!

An interesting (and unexpected) twist to my roll out is that I now feel like I’m ‘oozing’ out, and sliding very gently off the side of the bed and hanging. I even remember thinking, ‘wow, if I’m really physically doing this, then my husband (who is sleeping next to me) is certainly going to think I’m strange hanging off the side of the bed in this position!’ It almost felt as though I was actually ‘peeling myself’ out of body!!

So I’m standing by the bed, and have the absolute best clarity of thinking and vision that I have ever had! It was so clear that I thought I was actually physically out of bed! I moved to the door, and was SO surprised to get my validation that I am indeed out of body when my hand and arm go easily through the bedroom porch door!

Thrilled to be out unexpectedly again, and with such clarity of feeling and vision, I take off flying over the yard. I recall seeing everything just as it is for ‘real’, and am just ecstatic that I do my usual aerial acrobatics for fun!

Once again, as with my last experience, I feel someone’s hand on mine. This time, however, I have the clarity of mind to say, “I want to see who you are!!”

We continue on together, and I recall walking along with him in a garden-type area, conversing. He was next to me, but not visible to me, and I don’t remember all we talked about. But I do know at one point I told him I need to ‘see’ him and learn his name!

There was such a light-hearted fun feeling with him, as there always is when I’m with my guide in past experiences. He knew I wanted to ‘see’ him, so he had some fun with me in showing first just an glowing outline of him, and I said laughingly, “no fair, show me more!”

I watched intently as he ‘faded’ in to full form – a young male with medium length straight dark hair, average height, white shirt, dark pants – and a very familiar warm smile!! I remember him from other experiences, having glimpses of him, yet never being sure who he was.

He lightheartedly tells me he’s the one who ‘plays with my feet’ to try to get me to go out of body! There has been many times I have felt hands on my feet at various points of exiting (see my blog), and now I know who my helper is!

We walk toward an elevator and now I don’t even think to ask him his name!! However, he knew I wanted it and had this next encounter arranged so that he would not have to directly tell me his name (as again, I believe I requested this prior to incarnating this life).

As we near the elevator, I am surprised to see a male co-worker (actual nurse, still alive) walk toward the same elevator we are going to. My guide says to him, “Hi T.T., ICU” (in the same intonation manner that T.T. uses in real life here to answer the phone every day at work!).

T.T. answers him, as we all get into the elevator, “Hi Richard!” and I exclaim excitedly to my guide, “It’s Richard! Your name is Richard! Do you know how long I’ve tried to find that out?” (which of course he knows! lol)

He starts talking to me, as the elevator starts to move, about being with me ‘back when…’ and I’m having a hard time focusing as I feel I’m waking. I was left with the impression that he has been with me many lifetimes and will continue to be with me in the future.

I woke with such contentedness and joy, mentally thanking Richard for this revelation, and then surprised to hear his “You’re welcome, Karen!” within my mind while I’m lying there fully awake!

COMMENTARY:
I wanted to add my thoughts about this experience now that I've had a day to digest what happened. Somehow I feel the 'click out' in the previous experience (#77) with my desire to travel to my Higher Self played a role in this meeting.

I have always felt the reason I could not get a name from my helpers is because I had given the request for no direct contact with my guides for this physical incarnation, as it fits my thinking to want to do this 'on my own' if I could...

However, I feel that perhaps the connection with my Higher Self resulted in me giving 'myself' permission for this meeting to occur!! It just seems to 'fit'...I have no way of knowing if this is true, except for what my 'intuition' is telling me!

77) Higher Self; Click Out

10/12/08

I became aware within a dream that I was once again driving, having arrived at a crossroads that had some sort of anomaly in it (unusual road sign?), and had that slight hesitation of doubt as to whether I am really driving, which allowed me to become aware of my dream state.

I did not take the time to look at my hands (my usual way of determining readiness), but just jumped backward quickly without a care as to whether I was really driving or not! I remember even thinking, “Well, I certainly hope I’m not really driving!”, but yet my subconscious knows that if I have to have even a shred of doubt, then it’s my signal to exit!

I then rolled off the couch, feeling the usual pulling and tugging, and used the affirmation ‘to the door!’ with ease. Again I was in total darkness, blind, yet still aware of where I had to go. As I moved through the front door, I remembered I wanted to go to my Higher Self, to seek guidance and support from the one place that I know I will get the best answers from.

I paused on the front porch, briefly thinking I’d like to go see G.S., but more importantly wanted to see where my Higher Self would take me.

I did a small jump, affirmed ‘to my Higher Self” and started floating upward, moving quickly backward through blackness. What is interesting here is that I ended up back inside the house, once again floating gently above my sleeping body, fully aware I am still out of body.

This time, however, there was a big difference in feeling, in that I merely had to ‘step out’ to move away. The clarity of this experience was in stark contrast to my first exit! I was fully conscious, with perfect vision, and feeling so much more in control and ‘clear’ in all aspects! This exit felt to be on a much higher level or vibration.

I moved again to the front door and out, clearing seeing my yard and beautiful night sky, and once again started floating up gently and peacefully. I vaguely remember seeing the scenery change into something I know is not here in ‘real life’.

It is at this point I would have to say for the first time ever, I must have ‘clicked out’ in a sense. I have absolutely no memories (not even vague knowings/feelings of activities like I usually have) from the scenery change to the next recall.

The next recall was one of profound peace, joy, and contentedness…drifting gently, listening to the most beautiful music! The music was most interesting in that it wasn’t just ‘musical notes’ I heard, but actual feelings, emotions, and even messages I was receiving while listening to it!

I also knew that I was going back to body, making a peaceful, leisurely return, and then thought I’d like to get in just a few aerial acrobatics before returning!! I remember doing two forward rolls, enjoying the sensations, and noticing that someone is just off to my left as he (male feeling) lightly touched my left hand to tell me he was there.

Thoroughly enjoying myself, I mentally had a conversation with this person, and the only memory of our discussion was just before re-entry when I lightheartedly bargained with him, ‘well, I’ll go back because I have to record this experience, but only on the condition that I will definitely get out again!’ lol

I had the most gentle return to body I have ever had, lightly settling in, becoming slowly aware of loud rushing sounds that usually precedes my OBEs, most prominently heard in the center of my forehead. It was unusual for me to hear this upon return.

There were other dreams I had after this, but I did not record them. I have no excuse for why not, except to say that I felt (at the time) there was nothing that needed to be recorded! That again is most unusual, as I do try to record everything knowing that I may not be of enough ‘conscious’ mind at the time to make that decision to record or not!

Commentary for # 76 Intense Experience

I'd like to share some insight I have received from others who have traveled this path. My thanks goes to Dallyup52 for his view of the 'powerful experience' I had:

"This melding is way more important and meaningful to me than any physical sexual experience has been in this reality. The merging for me gets me back, at times, to the soul state and I never want to leave that state. The place of the soul is what many refer to as cosmic consciousness or nirvana. I miss this experience terribly when I am not in it. Some people seem to assist the process in obtaining this state of being."

With regard to the loss of memories and recall I have, Dallyup52 shares these thoughts:

"There are many times that I have gone so far out that the memory is in my experience but I can not bring it over into words. I know that it is there but has not migrated over to the place that my brain can word it. That's okay with me ... used to bother me.

Then there are the places that I go that I watch the memory split into pieces and rearrange themselves into a jumble as I slowly come back to this reality. Try putting those into words. Just isn't going to happen. The energies in those places are just not arranged like they are here.

Then there are the experiences of places that are like a million words of thought and I just don't have the time or energy to sort it all out yet I do have it inside of my experience. It isn't lost.

Then there are the times that I am me but I don't have this memory set. I am a different person (so to speak).....These memories are difficult to assimilate into one's brains with this present memory set. I have tried before to see what it was like and it is very confusing, to say the least .....I now do it with much filtering. And it is harder to remember.... like reading a book where all the names are Indian (unfamiliar stuff) and I can't keep track of the characters because their names don't stick....."

I totally agree with his additional comment: "This stuff is just so much fun as well as being meaningful."

Annsie also offered me some additional information that I felt important to share in regards to this experience:

"There is another state of total blissful feeling and utmost harmony that we can experience when we get OOB, without the need of being with your other "soul mates" . Thats when you go really deep into yourself, yet at the same time travel back "home" where the rest of your own soul is residing, merge with this most inner part of yourself can also give you complete bliss and harmony."

This statement rings so true, as it is quite likely the blissful re-union of those portions of our 'selves' that remain behind on the spiritual planes when we incarnate here.

Many thanks to Baphomet as well for his insight into the male/female relationship that I experienced:

"We all contain male and female energies and balancing the two is essential to being whole, IMO. Maybe you have suppressed your male qualities to the point where your subconscious mind felt you needed to experience them? It really has nothing to do with sexual orientation or anything like that.

For me, as a male, it’s been my task to develop my nurturing side, my sense of compassion, my intuition, and all those other ‘female’ qualities that the ‘average male’ lacks. I see your dream as a very positive experience. The opposites uniting into bliss – that’s the soul’s destiny, and it is something that the best sexual union on earth is only a pale imitation of."

76) Intense Meeting; Dual Consciousness

10/5/08

I am going to share with you this experience, but please know that it’s probably the most personal post I’ll ever put up. There was an INTENSE part of this experience, but it was wrapped in such unusual circumstances that I am not sure what to think of it but do feel it may be important to share because of its unusual intensity.

It begins with an awareness of a strong feeling that I am now a MALE energy in this 'therapists' office, and I see a female knocking at the entrance door asking for this therapist by name. I knew this therapist was one who counseled 'stars' so I said to her, "Wow you must be a star!" (She was my age, dark hair, actually very similar in appearance to myself! Me?) I invite her in to wait and we spend a long time talking (but have no specific recall of what!)

At one point we are both sitting on a piano(?) stool, and I say something about anticipating that in 90 minutes before 'kids come home' (?) (and I even remember looking at a clock), I plan on being done with what we planned to do. She said something about "it's been a long while, and you may not perform as well as you feel you should", and I said "I don't intend to disappoint", then began melding or curling up into each other into absolutely exquisite sensations of pure bliss and contentment. I just can't put words to describe the sensation as it was NOT like physical sex, but a more mental/emotional 'melting' into a culmination of pure bliss and joy! (OK, here is where I'm really thankful that I cannot see anyone’s reaction!! lol)

I began to slowly awaken immediately thereafter with such a warm, loving, complete feeling....yet the intensity and depth of these feelings just could not be sustained upon pulling back to full awareness! I can't describe the difference, but there was so much more 'completeness'(?) to my emotions/feelings yet I could not bring that same intensity of feelings back to conscious waking.

I record that experience and then find myself unable to return to sleep for a while trying to figure out why I can’t ‘feel’ those emotions in this waking state.

Eventually, I become aware of being in a barber-type chair, and feeling the spinning sensation as the chair rotated. I was able to take this spinning sensation and consciously push it faster, knowing it would allow me to get OOB, which it does! I am aware once again of 'floating body parts', with my legs moving up, down, all over in the most unusual positions!

I find myself now standing in another hallway, one I have been to before, yet not known where it is. I walk down the hallway to where it opens at the end into rooms on my left and right. I take time to verify I am OOB by looking at my hands and seeing them melt away - a signal that tells me I am definitely OOB. Somehow there is the color blue associated with these rooms, but yet I do not recall why/how.

Remembering I wanted to do 'Inward now!' I attempted to spin and go within but without any success! I tried a second time, and again without any results. Suddenly I'm aware of strong (male energy) arms that are coming from behind me and wrapping around my arms and holding my hands. I am SO enjoying this warm embrace and loving energy, I hold tight to his hands and don't want to let go! I show myself this is all 'real' by taking his hands and clapping them in a rhythm, then squeezing his fingers and then thumbs, just to experience the fact that they really are there!

Again, I know there was more interaction with this 'person', but the memories did not find its way back to full consciousness. This warm, loving embrace remained with me even as I became more aware when my CD player decided it would suddenly turn on by itself (!) and play the meditative music I had listened to prior to sleep! I KNOW I turned off the CD player earlier that night, but somehow it was on once again and now I am able to be nearly awake (out of the OOBE mindstate) and STILL able to feel the warm embrace of those 'otherwordly' arms holding me! I remained quietly enjoying this embrace for as long as I dared before I had to pull myself to full wakefulness to record the events I could still remember!

Once again, it felt as though I was pulled from this OBE mind state of bliss and contentment, but this time WHILE I am consciously was aware of the music playing that should not have been! It felt as if I was in ‘both worlds’ at once…

So, you can see why I hesitate to post this, however, I'm hoping I've written it well enough to have everyone understand the depth and strength of emotions. Could this have been another meeting/melding of my ‘Higher Self’? Was this just their way of letting me know that they are with me and are sending me love and guidance? Am I perhaps connecting on a 'higher level' these days and that is why I can't remember much? Was it a learning process to show me that I am not able to relate ALL my experiences accurately?

Still, they should know that I need to share what I am experiencing, so I hope I will be able to improve my recall of my OOBE experiences just a bit more in the future!

Open to any insight and suggestions….thanks!

75) Short OOBEs within LD; Astral Vision (City/Smoke)

10/02/08

My experiences last night were unusual in many ways, mostly in the sense that I was not as in control as I usually like to be. The sequences I will relate are rather disjointed and may have some personal symbolism hidden within them, but I still feel may be beneficial for posting here as I think everyone should know that all my experiences are not always organized and controlled, and may have hidden lessons within them despite their confusion. By sharing them I am hoping that someone has some insight as to what this mixed up mess means!! lol

I became aware of my usual signal of ‘floating body parts’ and was excited to think I was ready to get OOB. Rolling out, I realized I was not on the couch (as I really was) but getting out of a bed, one that was in an unfamiliar room.

I was amazed at the ease of separation and the clarity of my thinking! It was just as if I decided to get up and go – no obvious difference in sensations or thought processes, yet I knew I was OOB. I recall pausing at the end of the bed, wondering if I should look back to the bed to see my 'self', but thought twice of it since I knew I may return to body if I did!

I moved out the bedroom and into a hallway, again one that was not familiar. As I wondered where I was, I felt a ‘dissolving’ sensation, which is my indication that I was too awake to sustain this OOBE.

My concern was realized when I woke completely, and then had much difficulty in returning to the proper mind-state for the next hour or so. This is the longest attempt I have ever had to try to get back to that focused state. This ‘being awake’ worry may have played a part in the next sequence of events. I found myself very much aware of ‘still’ being awake, yet in hindsight, had actually had moved within a lucid dream and yet was not able to take control as I usually do.

Thinking I am having trouble falling asleep, I decided I would go outdoors to see if some fresh air would help. (Why I didn’t realize I was really asleep and dreaming, I don’t know…there was enough unusual ‘signals’ in the next sequence of events that should have triggered my awareness!)

I moved out of the house, yet it was not my house, it was a ‘grandfather’s’ house, yet I do not know whose grandfather. As I exited, I was next to the garage and remarked to myself that I was going to have to clean up all the clutter piled around and it was going to take some time (it seems the clutter was unused building materials, including a long thin light bulb I moved). I also remembered thinking that the ‘grandfather’ that lived here was not going to be able to keep up with the lawn mowing and upkeep of the house, that maybe I should get someone (my son?) to offer to help.

I knew there was a bench in the yard just outside the house and I headed over to it, hoping I’d be able to rest there and travel OOB from that location. It was a plastic type bench, long enough to rest on, and I also remember being glad I was wearing a winter coat with hood, so that the hood would be able to be used as my pillow.

The bench was covered with fine sand, and I had to brush off the sand to prevent getting the coat dirty, knowing that it was put there by the little girl who played in the nearby sandbox earlier. After lying down, I got comfortable and began to relax, hoping to sleep and travel.

However, I was not alone. My husband showed up and was trying to ‘annoy’ me by piling things on top of me! Trying to distract him, I mentioned that he should look at the unusual cloud formations above us. Something about the clouds gave me the signal that I was indeed able to get OOB at that time! I remember rolling off the bench and then feeling the tugging and pulling of yet another difficult separation.

Knowing I had to move away from the bench, I headed straight for the center of the large yard, not really knowing where to go! Standing in the yard, I decided to fly straight up and zoomed into the now starry night! I remember floating among the stars and enjoying their beauty, then yet again after only a few moments of OOB, found myself (supposedly) wide awake back on the bench!

This is where things get confusing. There are these events that happen, that I can ‘see’, and interactions with many different people who come up to the bench. What I ‘see’ (while I'm on the bench) is black smoke rising from a city, and then am able to make out the Empire State building in the distance! My mom is standing there by me on the bench, and I remember holding a pair of glasses with the right side lens cracked and jagged. She tells me she’ll take care of getting them fixed, but I said “no, I’m due for an eye exam anyway so I will.” She also tells me she called someone about the black smoke and reassured me that it would not be a concern for us, as it had something to do with two female pharmacists in the city who were disgruntled and set off a bomb (blew themselves up??)

Thinking I had to start recording these events I was seeing, I fumbled with my recorder, only to find it once again in pieces! I just couldn’t get it back together quick enough and I remember it humming and buzzing even though it was disconnected! Then a radio came on (built into recorder, I guess) and I hear “WABC” and then a different radio station in another language coming through the recorder! A coworker shows up next to the bench now and she starts singing(?)/talking in this other language along with the radio – and I’m surprised she can understand what is being said!

I do finally wake ‘for real’ and realize there is no recorder in my hand, and I try desperately to remember all these details in some semblance of order! The whole time I’m on this bench worrying that I really wanted to get OOB and travel and yet had to deal with all these distractions/people that wouldn’t allow me to focus properly.

My thought process was that I’m still wide awake (as I was previously) when in actuality I was already within a lucid dream and capable of getting out, but felt much too ‘grounded’ in my thinking to be consciously in control of the dream elements. I do know I was able to twice get OOB, but only briefly, each time unwillingly returning, yet not fully awake.

I am just not sure what happened in this mixed up experience but I thought I still should share it to see what other may have for any insight!

-----------------------

I just thought I'd add a quick addendum here relating to this unusual experience.

It seems after talking with GS (the one I had previously tried connecting with a recent OOBE), it was HIS desire to know if one could actually have an OOBE from WITHIN a LD!!! Additionally, he wanted to know if 'astral vision' was also accessible from within a LD! These were questions he sought more information on...and it seems I helped him find the answer!

I believe that due to his desire and our talks, I was able to experience this to show it IS possible! It's not exactly my usual format for OOBE's, but he feels strongly that this experience DID answer his question!

At least it makes me feel a bit better for having such an unusual inside out experience!

74) Thinking in OOBE; Meeting Karen

I have had a concern about my lack of dreams and OOBE travels over the past week or so, despite knowing that the increase in emotional and stressful situations I have encountered is most likely the cause.

With a stability of emotions and stress levels in the past two days, I once again find I am better able to detect subtle changes in my perception of events as they have happened. I had asked many times for ‘signs’ from the Universe that I have guidance and assistance, despite ‘knowing’ they are always there.

There is actually this little dialogue I have with my guides, in that I constantly joke about my ‘neediness’ for these signs, reminding them I am the one ‘in physical’ and they must remember how hard it is! lol True to form, they do grant my requests, and whether it is an unexpected sighting of my ‘totem’ animal, the flashing of a light, or a sequence of numbers at key times, I always know they are with me and helping.

So, feeling more stable and secure emotionally, I wanted to experience OOBE travel once again, not setting a definite intention as I usually do, but generally requesting to ‘just get out’ and if I can, meet someone, preferably a guide if I could. As usual, my requests were granted!

I remember feeling the soft buzzing at one point, and getting excited to think I was going to get out. I was disappointed when the buzzing disappeared, but then it returned stronger along with the ‘floating’ sensation signal that told me I could start moving out!

It was still harder than usual to separate, as I rolled over with my feet off the couch, I found I actually had to turn around to face the couch and pull my‘self’ out with a backward motion! This was a unique exit maneuver for me, but I was determined to get out! lol

I headed for the side door, through the dining room, and remember not even being concerned about going around the table anymore in my determination to get outdoors. I could easily ‘feel’ the change in texture as I passed directly through the table and the door, finding myself outside with a sense of freedom once again!

I recall flying, enjoying the swoops and circles, up and down the trees, looking closely at a pine tree and sensing its texture. I did not remember that I wanted to do ‘inward now!’ because I was so enjoying myself.

I do recall I did take the time to stop in front of a tree and see if I could understand ‘how’ I am thinking! This is difficult to explain, but I wanted to know if how I was thinking at that moment was any different than how I would ‘think’ in real life! My decision at that time was that my ‘thinking process’ was exactly the same as it was when I was fully ‘awake’ and still in control of my thoughts and actions.

In hindsight, however, once I really ‘woke’ I recorded the fact that the thinking process DID feel differently in a small way! I really don’t know if I can explain the different, but there was a ‘softer, gentler’ feel to my thoughts while OOB, and a ‘stronger’ more ‘austere’ feeling to my waking conscious thoughts. I am assuming it could be the difference between the ‘happiness and bliss’ I feel when OOB as compared to the more physical thoughts that are tainted with human emotions.

I continued to fly around doing something, but also remember having some difficulty at one point in getting control of where I wanted to go. I remember looking up to the tops of some trees, intending to go there, and finding that I was slow to respond. It was getting harder and harder to control my actions, and with that realization, I awoke and recorded what I could recall. There is more information here that I know I forgot but it’s gone…

Settling back in, I became aware of what felt like a ‘commercial interruption’ (at least that’s what I recorded it as!) A male figure was standing in the living room by the couch I was on and made an announcement. He said something about having to “talk to the ‘management’ of the ‘charity’ if you are not getting what you need out of it”….whereupon I then heard the usual musical ending of all cartoons (that I recall from childhood) just prior to Porky Pig showing up saying, ‘That’s all folks!” lol I knew it was ‘the end’ of this experience, and I woke fully and recorded it.

The next experience I believe was a bit of another false awakening in that I definitely thought I was fully awake, yet because of my frequent ‘false awakening’ experiences, knew I had to just lie still and go with whatever was happening.

It started with a conversation I was having with my ex-husband, and could feel his sarcasm and anger because he felt I wasn’t doing something I was supposed to. I recall he had a ‘swelling’ at the bottom of one leg, telling me he ‘had a bad leg’, and I told him, “Well, at least you have insurance for now” with the implication that he would not have it after we were separated. (I believe this is just residual issues I have not completely worked out within myself with this person)

Next I recall being awake (at least I thought so!) on the couch, and realizing someone was there covering me up with another blanket. I felt it had to be my current husband wondering why I had come to the couch, as I remember telling him it was because I like to do my ‘dream traveling’ here. I just went along with whatever was going on. I felt pressure lie down beside me, more on top of me than next to me, and again, didn’t want to move until I could be certain this was truly real (which it wasn’t!)

I realized it was a false awakening when I distinctly heard a female voice, very clearly talking into my left ear! The conversation went as follows:

“My name is Karen.”
I said, “No, my name is Karen, what is your name?”
“My name is Karen, and you already have three of the four “???-star” rings…”
I asked, “What do I need to do to get the fourth?”
She answered, “Nothing more than you are doing, the fourth will come.”
I remember not know what to ask next, and was so astounded at the clarity and distinction of her voice, that I was concerned who she was.
I asked, “Are you of the Light?” and she answered, “I love the Light!” and exuded such warmth and lovingness that I knew this was someone I could trust.
I asked, “What is your story? What do you represent?” and heard her answer, yet I have no recollection of what it was!!!

After this experience, I tried to wake myself slowly as usual, tagging each part of the experience with a key word so it would enable a better recall. It was so difficult this time to drag back the information to consciousness, and once again, had the ‘false awakening’ of thinking I was recording my information and realizing that nothing was recorded once I was really fully awake! I lose so much when this happens! This is just so frustrating sometimes! lol

The last experience for the night was limited in its recall as well, but I will share what I remember. I found myself above a room full of people who felt like ‘coworkers’ but only in the sense that they were there to do the same ‘work’ I was doing. (There were not my real life coworkers as I didn’t specifically know who the individuals were) I knew I was above them, looking down, so I was not actually ‘one of them’ in form, but the same as them in what they were there to do.

I wanted to get the attention of someone, and remember tapping the back of the head of one woman and was so surprised to see her react to my touch with a startled quick move and look back! She had no idea what just happened, but I could see that my ‘presence’ was able to be known that way!

Another older woman then came on scene, (one with short light blond hair and a warm smile) and was able to communicate with me (telepathically it felt). I asked her if she could feel my ‘tap’ behind her head, and she said, ‘just a little’. I wondered how she was able to communicate with me when the others could not, yet did not question her lead when she took me around to the different rooms and people within this house. I am not sure what I was doing, and have no recall as to the specifics of our conversation, yet knew I was being shown something of importance.

Unfortunately, these experience are not of the usual depth and breadth that I like to share, but still I feel have some elements of learning that I hope others can use. I am just so happy to have had another OOB experience as a validation once again that this is something I shall continue to have that will help my personal development and insight as to the limitless information the Universe has to offer.

Any insight or comments from anyone is always eagerly welcomed!
Any ideas what these '??-star rings' are???

COMMENTARY:

I have had some great responses on other forums and want to add some insight....I believe most definitely that there is this 'piece' of each one of us that resides within the higher realms, left there in whatever 'amount' we decided we wanted to be there for this lifetime to help us in navigating this physical life.

This is the 'Higher Self' we can seek for guidance, and in this experience, I am now thinking that due to the 'commercial announcement' I had just prior to the contact with 'Karen', that he was telling me I had to talk to the 'management' (my Higher Self!) if I wanted to get better outcomes! lol

As for the rings, my thanks goes to David for his insight: A clue to the star rings might be in the significance of 3 and 4. Three represents limitation and a binding to the physical 3 dimensions. 4 refers to the 4th dimension and freedom... the Quaternary.

Indeed, with experience freedom from bodily bondage will come... but not in "time". It will come in your release from time and 3 dimensions into the 4th, so to speak.

You have collected 3 of the star rings, because you're here. The fourth is the consummation of your purpose here and that comes through release. Therein lies your purpose for seeking the OBE experience. -David

73) Two Exits - Connecting with G; Intense Feeling of Objects

As I am still very much interested in trying to 'connect' with someone within the astral realms, I once again went to bed with the intention of trying to find G. Previously we had attempted a pre-arranged meeting at a visualized park we called "Paradise Park" a few nights ago that had some minor 'hits' in correlation, but in general, was not validating to any degree.

This time, I thought I'd try to 'connect' by traveling once again to his area, to see what I would find. (His responses will be at the end of the OOBE description)

I remember becoming aware of all-over vibrations, not strong and earth-shaking, but as tingling, soft, gentle buzzing would be a better description. I am fully ‘alert’ now and ease into the sensations, willing them to become stronger as I know this is the beginning of an adventure! lol

During the buzzing sensations, however, I am also hearing the usual ‘false awakening’ signal of someone in the house walking down the stairs and to the kitchen. (I sense it was again my husband, as I am always concerned he’ll come down and try to convince me to return to bed – he doesn’t really understand what I do on my ‘traveling’ couch....)

***NOTE: I’m thinking this may be a way my personal ‘fears’ are manifested in order to try to get my conscious mind to fully wake or even shut down to not remember ‘getting out’ – This is common, IMO, and something I feel I should share with those of you that are just learning this process.

With beginning OBEs, your ‘higher self’ is trying to protect your conscious mind from overloading it with information and happenings that it may not be able to process – IMO – so to learn to ‘go with’ any fears that arise and not fully awaken or drop into sleep is important for your OBE development***

Now the buzzing is quite intense, yet still very comfortable, I sense my both my legs floating up. Again, this is my cue that I’m ready to roll! I roll out very easily this time, with no heaviness or pulling sensations. I am again SO clear in my thoughts and head for the front door.

It is dark, though, and I have the occasional ‘exit blindness’ again. I affirm ‘clarity now!’ twice as I float gently upward and begin moving in a very peaceful, calm manner. I remember I want to ‘go see G.!’ and there was a very short sensation of movement as my vision opened up.

I can see I am high above the earth, looking down at what appears to be flat land, crisscrossed with highways, and have the feeling it is nighttime, although there is plenty of light to see. Moving closer to the earth, I can even see the cars on the highways and a flashing ‘arrow’ warning light, as if there was construction moving the traffic to the right. I sense it is an urban area, yet with expanses of land between the crisscrossed highways.

I remember thinking that G. lives in a city, so this can’t be where he is, and was directed to look further up and see a cluster of city lights ahead. Instead of heading for the city lights, I moved down to an area that had a ‘park-like’ feeling to it, and could see what I ‘labeled’ a train trestle (for later recall). It was an open iron structure, grid-like, either a bridge or open tunnel, with the distinctive black background and big yellow X on it – similar to what I would have seen on the back of a train engine. (At least that was how I processed this structure).

I am not sure where I went, but it may have been into that trestle. It became very dark, and I am aware I am in a ‘superman’ type position with my hands out front because I was suddenly startled to find the powerful ‘physical’ touch of strong male hands coming from behind and covering both my fists!!

I take a few thoughts to overcome my initial shocked response, again learning to ‘go with’ anything that happens. The hands remain over top of my own as we move gently along in darkness, and I sense information coming through, yet cannot recall specific details! I DO know I asked him, ‘are we still going to go see G?’ and got the resounding answer of YES!

Upon hearing his answer, either I then got too excited and found myself waking, or there was more to this conversation that leads me to believe it was not time for this experience to be completed. I am left with the feeling of contentment and anticipation knowing that I heard from him that I WILL be able to connect at some time!!

This first experience happened 4a – 5a and I immediately tried to re-induce to go OOB again. In lying there visualizing, I was so happy to have had this experience that I intended that if I did get out again, I would go ‘inward now’ and try to help others if I could as a way of showing thanks and appreciation. Meanwhile, in my visualizations I attempted to send keywords and images to G. in the event he would be able to receive them.

(After awakening fully and getting up later at 8am, I realized that there was a very symbolic dream I had at this time that I did not even remember until arising! –that is quite unusual for me! - The symbolism of the ‘dream’ indicated that I was probably ‘not prepared’ properly for the ‘classwork’ I was scheduled to do)

I awoke after this at 7a and was disappointed to know that since I have to now be ‘on call’ for work, I may not get another change to go OOB. But, the Universe saw it important that I did get another chance!

Relaxing back, I realized the soft buzzing sensations had returned! Knowing time was short, I intently tried to increase their vibrations to the point where I could feel the floating sensation start. Not wanting to wait for full separation, as soon as I felt any floating, I rolled off and out! (I am so impatient sometimes! lol)

Due to my impatience, this time it was a bit harder to move, and I had to ‘push’ myself to the door, even recalling that I had my toes pushing against the couch in order to stretch myself to the other side of the room!

It became easier to move once at the door and moved outside, only to find that upon moving through the door I could physically FEEL the change in texture! The best I can describe it is as if it was a ‘crackling, fuzzy’ sensation as my body moved through it. There was a definite difference in this ‘feeling’ as it was more intense than anything I remember previously.

I then tried to see if the same intense sensation would be felt as I exited the porch and side of house, which it was! I could even feel the difference as I moved out into the ‘sunshine’! (although there was no sun shining when I woke, so perhaps it could have been the ‘light’ sensation I felt)

I floated up high, seeing my house and yard clearly, and then thought ‘let me feel the trees!’ that are there. I reached out to the trees and felt the same change in texture as my arms and body passed through so easily! I then think I’d like to feel the earth, and immediately move down and feel my arms and torso sink deep into the earth, sensing that change so intensely! I remember thinking this is so cool! I can feel so much more intensely in this OBE!

I float back up high, remembering I wanted to go ‘inward now’ as a thanks for the previous OBE, yet also thinking I’d really like to still find G.! So I twist slightly attempting to spin, affirming ‘inward now!’ and realize I’m now in a more mountainous area, with open meadows, and that same floating peacefulness I experienced in the previous OBE.

Thinking I may be too ‘awake’ and still had to induce that ‘black tunnel’ experience that I usually get with ‘inward now’, I visualize a free fall sensation. I once again find myself in a blackness that opens to the quiet mountain meadow, lying there enjoying the peace and quiet.

I gradually became more aware and tried to recall this OBE for recording. I hold my recorder and see that it is not working properly, falling apart in my hands, then playing music, upside down and just in general fumbling with it to the point where I thought I was going to not be able to record anything! (another fear in a false awakening?)

Of course, upon fully awakening, I find only 15 minutes have passed and my recorder is not even in my hands! I record what I recall and now feel this OBE was more for increasing my awareness of astral ‘sensations’ and to perhaps give me some much needed peacefulness!


G.'s response: You made it to the area where I live. :-) I live in a small city/suburb that is surrounded by low hills with valleys. I am impressed! You should be elated! Picked up on the train part. Yes, I live near tracks!

(Also, he mentioned the night before coming home from work with this experience: "Evidently several trains collided and shut down may arteries to the freeway. Unfortunately, I was 1 hour waiting (stopped) before I found out what happened and could get on another route." Might this have been the 'construction/warning' lights I saw??)

72) Easy Exit Recall

9/04/08

My initial recall for this experience started with another ‘false awakening’ in the sense that I knew I was on the couch and again heard my stepson come into the living room. Having learned to ‘just go with it’ and not wake myself up despite my feeling of already being fully awake, I listen as I hear him come over to the couch and start searching for something.

Now I can see him standing next to the couch (as far as I’m concerned, I’m still ‘pretending’ to be asleep, with my eyes closed, yet didn’t think twice of being able to see him!) and he is ‘physically’ touching the blankets (as I can feel his touch and tugging at the covers!) looking for something, appearing slightly upset.

At this point I am certain this is a false awakening as I know my stepson would NOT be doing this in real life! lol Now I attempt to communicate and mentally ask him, “what are you looking for?” Getting no response, I ask twice more and then watch as he actually dissipates before my eyes!

As he disappears, I get intense warm sensations (almost like burning) on my back/spine area and a feeling of fullness in my head. This is something new, as it was not the same as the vibrations I have previously felt in other OOBEs.

The next recall I have I am up and out of body, zooming through my house, thinking and SEEING so clearly! I move through the walls to the outdoors and am just reveling in the awesome feeling of lightness and freedom! The clarity of my ‘being’ at that time was phenomenal!

So now I’m outside, flying and zooming, and so enjoying myself! Without thinking that it was unusual, I was seeing my house and yard in a winter scene, with snow banks and snow covering most of the area (it’s summertime right now!) I also see my house and surroundings not as they actually appear, but in a more ‘elegant’ state, bigger and better in every sense. (My feeling was that this IS my house, but my perception of it was to the degree as I always wished it could be – perfect in every way)

I remember even zooming through a snow bank to feel the change in texture, as I then flew around the back of the house toward my parents’ house down the road. I can see their house as well, knowing it IS their house, yet again it is so much bigger and better than it actually is in real life!

I recall thinking, ‘aw, no lights are on’…but then upon getting closer, could see lights on and people inside. I thought ‘hey, I might as well go inside and see what I can find’, but then remembered, ‘oh, wait, I wanted to go see if I could find G.S!’

So, at that moment of realization, I changed flying direction and zoomed straight up into the dark sky, with the question, “G.S. where are you?” repeated over and over. I remember the darkness enveloping me, and tried listening for any response. I also recall thinking, ‘gee, I wish I had set up a signal word to focus on because that could have helped’.

Realizing I was not getting anywhere, and hearing no reply, I became fully aware and recorded this experience. However, in hindsight, upon my relaxing back into the ‘mindstate’ necessary for more recall, did record something I barely remember recording! (I guess I am getting pretty good at running the recorder even while my conscious mind is not completely back in physical!)

The snippet I recorded was the fact that I felt as if I was trying to get someone, who felt like they could not do something, to realize that they really could. This ‘someone’ felt like it was part of me, yet it also felt like someone else (?). I do not have a clear recollection of what it was being attempted to do, but I knew I was trying to help.

I then wanted to try to once again get out and experience that wonderful sense of freedom and flying so I relaxed back into another attempt. I became aware this time of voices talking, and can recall hearing specific conversations, but yet not really paying attention to what was being said. One voice I recognized as my sister, which gave me the knowing that since she is not really here in my house, I must be nearly ready to get out again.

There were some floating sensations, but it was nothing like the previous exit, and I felt ‘incomplete’ or awkward in some way. Not being the most patient type of person when it comes to ‘getting out’ (lol), I say ‘oh well, let just try it!’ and remember taking my leg and swinging it up and over as if to roll out and off the couch.

It worked! But I found myself standing in the living room but with such heaviness and difficulty in moving! My affirmation of ‘to the door!’ was not working, and I knew I had to do something quickly or I’d be back in body.

I do not know how I thought of it, but what I did was to quickly visualize the easy time I just had previously and the sensations of freedom and lightness I felt in flying. I could actually make myself ‘feel’ those zooming movements, and the lightness of being able to fly in any position, feet up, head down, whatever. Funny thing is I remember visualizing myself flying through autumn-colored leaves on trees (again wrong season!). By recreating this sensation, I immediately found myself back outside my house and flying!

So I am once again doing my aerial acrobatics through the trees near my house, noticing they are now barren of leaves (must be winter again! lol) I distinctly recall going to one particular tree, tall yet skinny enough to put my hands around the truck/branch at the top) and shaking it! I was so clear in my thinking, I could physically feel this tree, and was saying to myself, ‘don’t tell me this isn’t real!!’ as if I had to convince someone!

So I try to head back to my parents’ house, thinking I’d like to also go see G.S., but this is so much more fun! Somehow, and without any recall of how/why, I found myself in soft loose dirt near an embankment that is close to my parents’ house (actually embankment is there in real life). Someone was there with me, a male, and I was talking with him.

Once again, the heaviness returned, I felt ‘grounded’ to the point where I could barely move. I remember crawling in the dirt, seeing the impressions of my feet as I tried to scale the embankment. (I am feeling that this person I was with was more ‘grounded’ in his vibrations, hence my need to feel it also to communicate). I also remember thinking, ‘I should be able to just say ‘to the house’ and go but it also wasn’t working.

He said something like, ‘let me see what I have here with me for a ‘vice’ (my impression was a cigarette or something), as he was interested in watching a movie with it (?). Again, more was talked about, but I have no recall.

The heaviness persisted, and I found I even had ‘dirt’ in my mouth, requiring me to spit it out a few times. By the third ‘spit’, I realized that I was actually ‘spitting’ in real life, which brought me to more awareness when I realized what I had done! I tried desperately to get ‘back in’, but the physical sensation of ‘spitting’ just woke me too much.

This experience was unique in the sense that my exits were so different! Yet I was able to use the visualization of the extremely easy exit to help me get out again a second time (when I probably was not fully able to separate due to my impatience! lol)

Also, the unusual sensation I had on my back/head was just a bit alarming at first, however, I have learned to go with whatever is happening to continue on in the experience. I am wondering if this new sensation had anything to do with the fact that that easy exit was with such clarity and lightness. I was just an amazing sensation that I wish everyone could experience it!

71) Helping in Hospital

With this experience I must apologize in advance as I feel I lost most memories of exactly what I was doing, yet still retain the wonderful feeling and knowing that I was having the time of my life doing it!

You will notice the number of times I use 'feelings' in this section - as this was an OOBE that was mostly based on my feelings and emotions. Perhaps it is also why the information was so easily lost upon fully awakening - words just are not adequate to properly describe all that was felt and done.

I also understand that 'higher level' actions and emotions are not easily recalled by the conscious physical mind, and yet another reason the details may have been lost so quickly.

Usually my word association technique works well with most long experiences, however, even the signal words were lost in this one - possibly due to the false awakening at the end!

Anyone have any ideas how to remember the less tangible/emotional/feeling aspects of an OOBE?

9/01/08

I went to bed with the intention of using ‘Inward Now!’ if I had the chance to get OOB. I became aware of the ‘floating’ feeling once again, and knew I could just roll out.

Again it was so heavy, with the strong tugging and pulling back to body sensation while I tried to move across my living room from the couch I was sleeping on. I remember getting just through the front door and deciding I was far enough away to just do the ‘Inward Now!’ affirmation.

I was not disappointed in that I immediately felt the familiar backward black tunnel falling sensation, and enjoyed what felt like a long time of rapid backward movement. I almost felt like you were on a completely dark rollercoaster, yet one with a very gentle, smooth ride.

When the movement stopped, I once again found myself getting OOB from the couch (actually a common happening anymore). This time, however, as I stood, there was no heaviness or tugging, and I was surprised to find I had someone there with me!

With my ‘go with it’ attitude, I saw that she was helping me to get ‘dressed’ in something. I could physically feel her hands on my arms and shoulders, helping me to pull on some sort of covering, having my hands and arms in first and open in the back. (In hindsight, I can see that this is very similar to the sterile surgical gowns I ‘dress’ in regularly at work in the hospital)

I felt as though I was ‘being prepared’ for going someplace, and while getting ‘dressed’ I remember asking her, “How come I can’t see anything?” as it was total blackness. I did not get an answer, but my vision opened up to allow me to see that I was still within my house, yet was still unable to see the female who was assisting me.

Once dressed, I knew I was to follow her through my dining room to the far right corner. (I do feel there was communication with her, but not with words, so there is no ‘recall’ of them.) Watching her disappear through the wall there, I also knew that I was going to do the same to follow her, which I did without a concern.

From this point on, I have only limited recall, but will give the few highlights I do remember. On my recording, I can hear how distressed I am that I cannot remember all that I did, because I felt it was something so wonderful!

The first place I remember going was to the rooftop or building with an open area to the sky. It was nighttime and I was there with ‘Maryanne’, a black woman who was deep in conversation with me. I recall looking up to the night sky and seeing such beautiful star formations! Nothing like I have ever seen before! I remarked how beautiful they were, as instead of individual points of light, there were ‘clusters’ of stars in various shapes all over the sky! I recall her saying, ‘we call that one the Sphinx’ as she pointed to one, and I responded, ‘yes, I can see why’.

I only recall how pretty the night sky was to look at there, and the fact that part of our conversation dealt with Maryanne telling me something about Africa and how she was comparing her roots there to this other life she had lived. I have no further recall, but know it was a long, deep conversation I had with her.

My next recall is the one I felt most disappointed about NOT remembering the details. I was with these two young boys, in a ‘hospital-type’ (feeling) environment, and having a wonderful time interacting with them. They were both about 5 years old, and I felt I was helping them in some way, taking care of them. I picture them as sitting up on top of some area, and we were talking and moving about, but again, no details. There was also this feeling of MY learning something there, yet that is all I am left with.

At one point, I heard a phone ringing in another room, and ‘felt’ someone tell me “you go ahead and answer the phone” with the additional feeling that it was not an ordinary phone, so I’d have to look for it. I recall looking at shelving with knickknacks of some sort on it, wondering which of these items might be the ringing phone I was supposed to answer! I had the feeling it might have been a ‘doll’ I was supposed to find, but am not sure.

A woman comes up to me in this other room and is talking to me. She said to me, ‘you know you can only be here a short time’ and she mentioned something about meeting my parents here. I became slightly concerned because I knew both my parents are still alive, and thought perhaps this meant they were going to be ‘in spirit’ for me to meet them. I was assured this was not the case and recall being told I ‘had to go back…couldn’t be there that long…’ and I said, “yea, I know….” with the understanding at the time that staying there any longer may cause me to lose even more memories!

(In hindsight, however, perhaps I could not stay there any longer because shortly after I completely awoke and recorded this experience, my ‘on call’ beeper went off for an emergency at the hospital where I work!)

After realizing I had to go, I immediately felt the same backward black tunnel falling sensation and found myself awake and fumbling with the recorder. Unfortunately, in hindsight, I realize this was another false awakening because I was in a chair, at work, with coworkers around me asking me questions and handing me things to distract me!

I am determined to get the experience recorded, trying to remember my ‘key’ words I used to associate with the experience, and all the time getting interrupted by a coworker! She was handing me a pocketbook-like item with a small blinking light on it, indicating I had a message waiting. I felt, at the time, this was an intentional delay in my recording the experience so that I would forget many details!!

I slowly became completely aware of my ‘real’ body on the couch, and attempted to record what few details I have here. There was really a big loss of memory with this experience, and I am truly distressed to think how wonderful I felt during the time, yet cannot write it sufficiently here to share that emotion with everyone.

70) Increased Awareness in Exit; Astral Vision

I had a series of OOBEs last night that was very unusual in the sense that I really did not ‘accomplish’ any specific task (– my only intention was to go ‘inward now!’ if I had the chance) nor had any significant event happen while OOB as far as I can recall. However, I believe this new awareness level I was experiencing was more in answer to my recent inquiry as to how different aspects of OOB experiences can differ in their ‘feel’ and the way they impact on my consciousness.

My initial exit happened quickly as I have no recall of the signaling event. I remember getting out, and feeling VERY heavy, pulling very hard to separate, and trying to move across the wooden floor to the door. I remember it was unusual that I could actually ‘hear’ my footsteps on the floor as I ‘walked’, and recall bending down to feel the floor, as if I thought it was different somehow because I could ‘hear’ my steps.

I moved to the door, but it was not a door that I am familiar with in my house. It had a large glass window at the top, but did not show me what was beyond it. I remember thinking; ‘it’s a door, so I can just float through it’, which I did without difficulty, feeling the texture change as I did.

However, once on the other side, I felt as though I had moved into another ‘dimension’ or altered space. I found myself standing on the other side of the door, looking back at the closed door. I felt as if I was in a black void, with a very ‘different’ feel to it than I have experienced before. I was not comfortable, and remember placing my hands on the heavy door, feeling how ‘solid’ it was, indicating to me that I was not able to pass back through it the way I had come out!

At this time, a little bit of fear crept in, more fear than I’d like to have had, but then realized, ‘Hey wait! It’s a door! I can just open it!’ which I did. But as I opened the door and peeked inside, I saw only a dark, dank, cold stone room…very uninviting! I said, ‘no, I don’t think I’ll go there!’ and closed the door, at which time I woke up. What I recorded was that I felt like I was “exploring” instead of remembering to do the ‘inward now’ as I intended.

My second exit was strange in that I realized I felt very light in my awareness and that my ‘mind’ had gone someplace else in another room. This made me think about bilocation and what it would feel like, a topic I had just recently discussed with someone the evening prior.

Despite feeling so ‘light’ in my awareness (not a deep meditative state as usual), I knew I could still roll out, which I did, with the intention of trying to feel what it is like to be in both places at once, both IN body and OUT of body. (This is hard to describe, but I could feel my physical body and conscious mind as if awake, yet knew I was ‘floating’ enough to get out)

Once out, I found it again VERY difficult to move, pulling and tugging so hard to get away from my physical body. I even propped my ‘foot’ against the couch to prevent my giving in to the tugging back to body! I remember thinking that using ‘inward now!’ would not work at this time since I was not fully separate, so I focused on affirming ‘to the door!’ over and over to get some movement away from the physical body.

Suddenly, I felt an unusual new sensation – a ripping or tearing feeling in the back of my head and neck area. I was not alarmed, but felt it was a warning of some kind.

Despite achieving some movement once OOB, I never did make it to the door – being pulled back in body with the ‘knowing’ that I had too much awareness that stopped my progress (caused by my desire to feel ‘both’ places at once as in bilocation).

The third exit I had this night was the most interesting and educational for me. Despite losing a lot of details with a prolonged false awakening at the end (described below), I know I was being shown much information that I may be using in the future.

I had the usual signal I was ready to exit when I found my feet floating up in the air, but again feeling that very light state of awareness instead of a deeper mindset. I could remember that I had had difficulty getting out previously with this light state, so when I discovered that there were ‘physical hands’ touching my feet and moving them about, I said “I need some help in getting out!”

There was a warm sensation of hands (palms pressed against the soles of my feet) already on, and after asking for help, a second pair of hands were felt on my instep areas. (It has been a long time since I felt these ‘otherwordly’ hands assisting me, but I knew they were there to help)

I moved out of body easily with their assistance, and remember conversing with a female at length as to why I having such difficulty tonight. The only response I recall was her mention of ‘learning different levels’ and ‘I can only do it at my level’, or something to that effect. I remember thinking I’d like to ask her name, but since she didn’t offer one, I didn’t push for an answer. I know there so was so much more to this conversation that I just cannot recall.

At some point, I found myself back on the couch, again with my feet in the air and the same warm hands on the bottom of my feet. Wanting to get out, I remember a second pair of hands now reaching for my hands and pulling me up and out – and most interesting was that these hands were small, as if a child or very small female.

I was led blindly to the door and outside by two females, and remember asking ‘why is it always so dark?’ as I could see nothing but blackness. Their answer was ‘yes, we can see that’ and my vision then opened up.

Once outside, I said I wanted to fly again, as it has been a long time since I experienced that wonderful sensation. I flew up to the tree tops and remember even touching a leaf to experience the sensation. I recall hearing distant thunder, and felt raindrops hit my ‘body’, which made me remember that there was a forecast for rain this day and that I’d have to check when I woke up to see if it was really raining.

At some point, one female said she wanted to show me something and took me over to an area next to a wooden fence and under a large tree. She was showing me an earthen mound, with rocks (?) stacked together on top, yet I don’t really think this is what it actually was. At the time, I knew what it was, but in trying to recall what it looked like, this is the best association I could make. It had this ‘altar’, ‘memorial’, or ‘grave’ type feeling to it.

She was telling me something like “it needs to be done like this” and “I need to show you the first time and then you will have to show me you can do it on your own before we can move on. That’s how it works.” At the time I understood fully, but in recall, I have no idea what we were talking about. Again, there was SO much more I was shown but have completely forgotten, mainly due to the subsequent false awakening experience.

Upon realizing I am back on the couch, I take out my recorder, and stop as I hear someone come in the front door. They walk past me to the bedroom, and then I hear my husband once again, walking downstairs to see where I am.

I am never sure if these false awakenings are real, so I always ‘play along’ to see what happens. My husband just stood quietly at the base of the stairs, near the couch, and I remember watching him, supposedly with my eyes wide open, to see what he was going to do.

I had the feeling he was debating whether to wake me or not, and I began to think, maybe I should ask if there is anyone else around (as I did in my previous experience). I believe I asked ‘is anyone there’ and got no response. Now I’m beginning to worry that much of the previous OOBE is being lost with this delay in recording, so I attempt to find my recorder again.

Not realizing I was not fully awake, I am talking into the recorder trying to recall the earlier events. It took even more time for me to arouse completely, realizing I didn’t even have the recorder in my hands when I fully awoke! It took so long for me to get completely awake, waiting and waiting for the false awakening to end, that it made me lose much of the earlier OOB experience with the females. (In hindsight, I am thinking perhaps this prolonged false awakening was intentional so that I would consciously forget much that I learned OOB.)

What was different for each of these OOB exits was that I was so much more aware of my physical body when I had the ‘floating’ signal to exit. There was more ‘consciousness’ in the experience, as I felt so much lighter and more ‘awake’ than usual upon exiting.

One last late morning experience I had was more of a lucid dream that converted into what I feel was ‘astral vision’. With astral vision, you are definitely aware you are in bed, yet clearly seeing and experiencing what you are viewing with your eyes.

Initially it started as a mundane dream, with plans to go out with my sister. She was ready to go, and I was delayed in getting ready. Saying she’d wait for me downstairs, I went to my room where I found her phone ringing (she had left it behind). It was a woman named ‘Gurda’ and upon explaining who I was, she said she’d call back later.

The scene transitioned somehow to being outdoors, lying down in the grass, and watching the clouds go by. Someone said, ‘Look! Do you see that?’ pointing to the sky. I attempted to see what they were looking at, seeing only clouds and a small wisp of smoke (?) in the distance.

Immediately, I felt awake, knowing I was still in my bed, yet continuing to see the sky and clouds above! From the center of the ‘viewing area’, I know watched as a 3D parade of various military items moved from left to right. There were soldiers, then tanks, planes, even space shuttles moving very clearly across my viewing aperture.

Still knowing I was in bed, I enjoyed this ability to do two things at once, even feeling my head turn to the right to watch as a parachutist landed, bounced back up, then landed again. (In actuality, I do not believe I really turned my head, but it sure felt like I did!) I was still able to hear those I was with ask what I was looking at, but knowing they could not see this and concerned that by answering I’d lose the experience, chose to ignore their questions.

The opening faded, and I became fully awake and aware. I have no idea why I saw military-related items in this viewing, but am glad to have had these rare experience of astral vision, flying, and 'helping hands' once again.

Addendum to #69 - Connection Made!?!

I thought I’d share what amazing findings there was with this OOBE where I tried to connect with someone I have only talked to online and do not know well (G.S.) I can’t believe that I would get even this close a correlation – it’s not perfect, but it’s close!

Here is his response to my description of him:

“You did not say long or round face, you said long rather than round, i.e. I interpret as oblong, which is how I would describe my face. My hair is straight (but very short), salt & pepper hair, to a degree, more grey showing up daily. But the best is my square-ish wire glasses, right on. I’m usually shaven, so the beard not so much.”

Interesting point here, is that when I listened to my recording of the description, I hesitated at the beard part, first saying it was there, then no, it’s not, but then decided on a very light barely there beard.

I have never done this before, but I feel a sense of achievement in even getting this close!

69) Easy Exit; Meeting a New Face; Little Man Contact

Here we go again with another really unique OOBE for me...as always, there is something new I learn with every outing!

I moved to my traveling couch at 3 am intending to try to meet up with W. again, but now with the additional information that he associates his ‘self’ with a nickname, so I figure a closer approximation to reaching my ‘target’ would be to use his more familiar full name of G.S. (of course, initials are used here to protect the identity of those who are assumed to be innocent…lol…)

I first became aware of hearing my stepson come home through the nearby front door, and once again, knew this could possibly be a ‘false awakening’ due to the fact that I thought he was already home when I went to bed. So I just continued to lie there quietly, and listened to him turn on the TV and walk over to the couch and attempt to sit down right on top of me!!

I kept my eyes closed, but tried to ‘move’ a little to show him I was there in case he didn’t see me. It was when I noticed that he now was trying to squeeze in between my head and the side of the couch that I KNEW this was a false awakening, as he would NEVER attempt to do this.

Upon this realization, I had probably the strongest vibrations I have ever felt! Knowing this was my startup to the OOBE, I just relaxed into them and amazingly found myself effortlessly floating completely out of body about a foot above the couch!! (Usually, I get a signal that it’s time to roll out when one or two body parts start floating, but this time, it was my whole body!)

The other amazing difference is that there was so much light (not usual darkness) and totally clear vision with clear conscious thinking going on, even more so than my usual initial roll outs. I think to myself, ‘either I’m wide awake and it’s morning or I’m totally out of body!’ Not trying to even decide which I was, I figured I’d just ‘step out’ to see what would happen.

I find myself effortlessly and lightly ‘stepping out’ (no roll out this time) to the living room, feeling so much lighter and less encumbered than I usually do. It was so easy! I even remember seeing the bottom part of my silk pajama legs as I stepped out (probably because I took careful attention when putting them on to notice how they felt).

No heavy sensations, no tugging energy back to my body, no darkness. I wish I could explain how I knew I was definitely OOB, but it’s just so ‘real’ you KNOW it is happening. My thinking processes were also so much clearer, as I ‘felt’ I was wide awake and thinking as I always do.

I float (again, so effortlessly!) to the front door, as I know I will pass completely through it without a problem to the outdoors. However, as I get closer, my ‘physical’ remembrances kick in slightly and I recall I just had to turn slightly to my right so that my left side would pass through the door – just to be sure I was not going to get hit flat in the face with a solid object!! lol

I felt so clear, and I’ve never felt so clear with my consciousness in any other OOBE. I clearly knew what I wanted to do, to meet G.S., and so I took off from the front porch floating up gently with his name focused in my mind. I remember I put my arms up and out, reaching forward, but am not sure for what reason.

About tree top level, I looked down and saw my faithful dog Buddy sitting below, waiting for me. I told him to ‘stay’ this time, and just continued on enjoying the peaceful drifting and floating.

I am not sure what exactly happened next, but after some movement sensations, I was shown a face of a man that I have never seen before. Attached to this face was a brotherly feeling, and I tried to take note of his features as I thought perhaps this related to G.S. in some way.

(Long rather than round face, straight hair, brushed off to left side of forehead, gray (salt & pepper?) or graying darker hair color, square-ish wire glasses, thin (barely there) beard)

The entire experience ended soon thereafter as I remember I gently floated back into my body just as easily as I exited (again unusual as I don’t remember my return to body ordinarily.) I woke completely and recorded this experience, focusing on a good facial description and wishing I had some paper to sketch the face!

As it was only 4:30am now, I attempted to return to that state of consciousness, eager to experience it once again. This time, I wanted to once again ‘just help someone’ so set that as my intention.

I ‘awoke’ hearing loud voices outside the same front door talking animatedly. I recognized the voices as belonging to my son and my stepson. Again, not knowing if this was another false awakening or real life, I just pretended to stay asleep and see what happens. I heard one of them come in the living room, walk to the kitchen, and then over to the end table next to the couch I am lying on! He picks something up and continues on past me to his room.

Meanwhile, I remember hearing my dog Buddy come into the room and curl up next to me on the floor by the couch. (This is all so ‘normal’ for real life actions that I really wonder sometimes how I manage to keep my eyes closed and pretend I’m asleep – but my stepson really was fast asleep the entire time in his room!)

Now I hear more footsteps and recognize them as my 18 year old daughter’s. I KNOW she is not here in the house currently, so I am now aware it IS a ‘false awakening’ and I go with it.

She comes into the living room, sits on the floor next to me, and proceeds to tell me all about a small problem she needs my help with. She is speaking so softly that I have to tell her to ‘speak louder, I can’t hear you’. She is requesting I write a note for her, and I answer, “ok I will take care of it, not to worry” and she continues talking on and on. I am so enjoying our conversation and ask her to climb up on the couch with me where she curls up into a big hug. Amazingly, (and without any reaction from me at the time!) I notice she becomes younger and younger after I tell her, ‘oh my baby girl, I’m so glad you came to see me!’ (‘Baby girl’ is my pet name for her). She is now my 3 year old daughter from 15 years ago, curled in my arms, yet still conversing!

Now, as I’m talking to her, I once again hear voices on the front porch, but this time they belong to my husband and brother! Despite holding my daughter in my arms, I once again feel I have to ‘pretend’ I’m asleep and close my eyes. However, as this is the third time tonight with these false awakenings and knowing I have my daughter in my arms, I realize maybe I can just ‘stay awake’ to see what will happen next.

Listening to the voice, I now become aware that someone is standing next to the couch, just above my head. (I don’t see him, I sense him really). I ask, ‘is anyone there?’ and hear a small voice answer. I see a small boy standing there, and ask his name. He answers, but it was so softly spoken and knowing I wanted to remember it, I had to ask him a second time.

He answers, ‘Dekshepta’ and I get an immediate visual on the spelling of the name, as if I am to remember it spelled exactly this way or perhaps it was to help me remember the pronunciation.

He moves around to the front of the couch and I ask, ‘where do you live?’ as he answers, ‘oh, anywhere….’ and I realize this line of questioning isn’t going to work. (In hindsight, not a great question to start with!)

We start talking about many things, of which nothing I can recall! However, while we are talking, I am realizing this ‘little boy’ is not a young boy, but an adult in a little body. (His mannerisms were definitely adult-like, and his face was unshaven with a few days facial hair, longer almost shoulder length dark blonde or light brown shaggy looking hair)

He walks around the living room while conversing, and picks up some sort of stick and plays with it as he talks. He was tough, as I felt he was disillusioned and bitter because he spoke so dismally and matter-of-factly with the feeling ‘that this is how things are here and that’s all it will be.’

He walks away toward my side door, and I get the immediate feeling that ‘it’s now or never’ to do something! I say to him, “Listen, have you ever wanted to go someplace that is perfect in every way?” I cannot say that I really used those exact words, because I believe I used more ‘feelings’ to communicate these thoughts than words.

He answers bitterly, “Yeah, yeah…I know…that perfect place that everyone wants you to go to…” I got the feeling others have tried before to get him to go and he wasn’t buying it. I said “that’s fine, but I do want to tell you that I’ve been there and it IS wonderful there….I thought you might like to see it.”

Things then started to fade as he stood by the side door, and I don’t know if telling him that I had been to this ‘perfect’ place finally made him consider it, or if it was another lost attempt to help someone who is stuck within their own made up belief system in this plane. I awoke, recorded this, and noted the time being 5:30am.

I thought I’d also share few notes on my feelings regarding the sequence of events in this two part OOBE.

It is possibly due to the fact that I have been discussing and describing how my OOBE’s are ‘real’ and having to think intently about my responses allowed me to experience a unique ‘clearness’ to really nail home the difference to me as to exactly how the OOBE can feel. (You can read these forum posts at Link to Site)

Also, by not ‘closing my eyes and pretending to be asleep’ I finally learned that I should remain ‘awake’ and more aware of my surroundings within the false awakenings. This allowed me to see the little boy in the room. Watching my daughter ‘change’ in age in my lap allowed me to be able to see the little boy become a man in a little body without a concern.

_______
Once again, if anyone would like to offer additional insight, I'm open to all possibilities. I will have to let you know how the facial description matches when I hear back from the intended contact.

However, I have to remember to not be disappointed should it be no match to G.S., as things in these astral realms are never easy to put into physical description nor do they have to necessarily be a perfect match for this life.

68) Multiple Exits - W.;Near Physical; Familiar Faces

8/10/08 4 – 6am

I had some very interesting travels last night, yet have very limited recall for a lot of it probably due to the ‘higher level’ of interaction that occurred with the people I met. I have found that when experiences are felt and observed on a higher realm that there is little association your physical mind can relate to and therefore once the transition is made back to full awareness, you lose much information.

I know this is what happened last night, as I can recall that ‘deep’ changeover as I transitioned and the loss of info that came almost instantaneously due to my limited physical mind abilities. However, I will record here what I do remember, although it just feels as though these ‘mere’ words cannot do justice to what I felt and observed.

Initially, I set an intention to see what would happen if I chose a name of someone I had just talked to online and knew nothing about. Over the course of a few hours I remember getting OOB a few times, and each time was different. I will try to make some timeline of what I remember with each OOB, however, this may not have happened in this sequence.

Initially, I remember ‘dreaming’ of being with a little boy who was playing with these red blocks. My sister and daughter were there and were planning on going shopping for party supplies and I talked them into taking this little boy with them so I could ‘travel’. As soon as they left, I said, ‘good, now I can go traveling’ and headed for the couch.

The first few times OOB I felt very heavy, and very close to physical, as I was fully aware I was standing in my living room as it is. Each time I remember feeling the strong ‘tugging’ back to my body and had to firmly intend ‘to the door!’ to move away.

One of the first times OOB, I moved quickly ‘to the door’ and outside. Here I remembered that I wanted to see W. Not really sure how to go about it, I just left it to the Universe to show me what to do.

I remember moving silently and through darkness, without any vision at all. Then I could clearly hear music, and it was music that was contemporary in that it was a ‘hip-hop’ or ‘blues’ type music with a male voice doing the vocals. It wasn’t much ‘singing’ as it was ‘talking’ words to the music and for some reason, I felt it had to be associated with W., as it was not ‘my’ preferred type of music. (I wish I was more familiar with the current singers and groups so I would know who this was, but I just don’t watch TV or listen to the radio at all.)

I faded back to awareness on the couch without any further insight, listening to the waterfall in my fishpond outside the window. (This waterfall sound always gave me the signal I was ‘back in real life’ for these various excursions.).

A short while later, I became aware of being on the couch and heard my dog and daughter (who is not at home!) come into the room. My dog walked over to the couch, gave me a big wet kiss, and put his head on my chest. My daughter walked to the bottom of the couch, sat down, and said ‘my throat hurts and I’m tired’. I know I had a conversation with her but cannot recall anything further. I faded back to full awareness again hearing my waterfall.

Another time I was aware I was hearing the TV playing, a signal I have used many times in the past to tell me I am ready to get out. (TV is never left on as I so rarely watch it). This time, however, a little girl was with me by the couch, one who spoke with such a soft soothing voice that I remember having to ask her a few times to repeat her words. What little I remember is that she said her name was Jilliard or Jill (?) and she sat quietly on the back of the couch near my feet, saying, “so this is your traveling couch?....you always stay down at that end and never lie on this end because there is so much ‘foam (?)’…” (it is not a foam couch).

One more time, I became aware of being able to ‘roll out’ and did so, again with heaviness and difficulty. However, this time, I was able to stand closer to the couch and look back. I have never been able to ‘see’ my sleeping body on the couch and this time was no different. However, I did see the blankets, mounded up as if a body was under it, with little blanket movements where my hand and foot would be to show me that I WAS there! It was unusual in that my body itself was ‘invisible’, and I feel this again is due to my own ‘belief’ that if I did ever see myself, it would cause havoc in assimilating that information. I didn’t dwell on the fact that I couldn’t see myself, and was just accepting of the fact that I was definitely there on the couch.

At this time, I believe I moved around the living room to ‘play’ in this environment, and remember sticking my head through the side wall of the house and feeling the cool air outside and seeing the actual outdoors. Vision at this time was intermittent, as I could see, but occasionally my eyelids would feel so ‘heavy’ the vision would dim, and I would have to say ‘clarity now!’ to see again.

I remember lying on the floor, pulling myself away from my body, feeling that heavy, heavy feeling of being so close to physical. At that time, I remembered to say ‘vibrations now’ in hopes that it would ‘lighten’ my feelings, and it did! I floated up easily, and then tried to sink down through the floor to the basement.

However, I could ‘physically feel’ the floor as I landed, and said, ‘no, I’m still too heavy’ and repeated ‘vibrations now!’ which allowed me to sink down right through the floor. Feeling confident that I was capable of controlling my movements now, I headed for the front door. I saw my fireplace where it usually is, however, it was much bigger and more exquisite with a glowing, beautiful fire. I remember thinking, ‘wow, its summer and shouldn’t be on’, but the warmth it gave was energizing so I didn’t think twice about it.

Again, I was heavy in the sense that I could ‘physically feel’ the furniture as I bumped into it, yet continued on. I do remember trying to turn the one swivel chair to a different position thinking perhaps I could then see it in its new position once I completely wake up. (Amazing that I am able to know I am not ‘in body’ and will eventually fully awaken – at that time, moving the furniture to a new position I felt would be a validation that I could use to further confirm my OOB existence. It was not in the new position when I did awaken, though.)

My vision continued to fade in and out, and at the front door, it faded again. I had the ‘feeling’ someone was there and yelled out, ‘is someone there?’ I felt a warm friend touch on my forehead, at which time my vision cleared completely.

I saw a young male, curly black hair, working on the front door. He said ‘it’s just me’ and I remember asking him his name. I asked ‘who are you?’ and he said he was the “best friend of Maureen Hal?/Hol?” He was so friendly, and we had a long conversation, but all I can recall is his name that sounded Hispanic starting with “Neo….n (?) I asked him to repeat it a few times trying to ‘seal’ it in my memory, but it was so unusual that I could not associate it with anything. It was the events that would occur after meeting him that would become extremely difficult to recall and I no longer felt so heavy and ‘close to physical’.

Now I am outside of a beautiful ranch style house with black trim, and feel it is MY house, but as I always wished it to be. On the ground is white snow (?) and I am with these two other men carrying on a wonderful conversation. I remember asking, ‘is this snow?’ and their answer was ‘it is whatever you want it to be’ and I said, ‘ok, it’s snow’ and gathered some up and felt it tingling on my face as it came down. ( I love to do that in real life anyway! lol)

A table was set up as if some sort of occasion and a woman came out of the house to talk with us. I still recall her appearance, it was so warm and receptive, but again I have no recall as to what we talked about. At that time, however, it was so easy to remember.

I still recall the transition back to full awareness and that feeling of ‘panic’ as I knew I was going to lose much information. It was such a deep transition (tough to explain) that I tried desperately to associate anything I could to remember, but to no avail. At one point, I remember picking up my recorder, finding I had TWO in my hand, placing one in each hand. The left hand recorder had no on/off switch, so I changed to the other, and that one had a non-working on/off switch. (Later when I fully awakened, I had NOTHING in my hands)

Prior to fully awakening, though, I could hear things clearly – one was a song with a title I recognized and knew at that time it’s meaning to me (lost now), and another time was random voices talking that become agitated, and knew I could help by sending ‘white light and love’ to them. Everything faded until the very end I remember seeing my mother (who is still alive) at my side asking me if I had my bathing suit with the cup and pad (?) I said, yes, I have it, and she said ‘good, then make sure you wear it’…..she was happy that I remembered to bring it!

I became fully awake and recorded as much as I could recall – and yet still, felt incomplete in the sense that I will never be able to fully write and explain all that experienced to the breadth and depth that I felt. I know these were people I met that I have known before and they were all very happy to see me and be with me.