166) Learning Control Again with Awareness Now

January 22, 2012

I am learning a lot about myself over the past few weeks, including the fact that I need to learn to ‘let go’ of many things that no longer serve me. Now on my own in life and feeling the freedom and joy of learning who I truly am, I find I am being given many new opportunities for growth and spiritual development.

This OBE this morning was not much to write about, however, it impressed me in that I learned a few things about how I look at my experiences. The very first time I woke after a few hours’ sleep, I remember dreaming I was driving my car (as usual!) and found myself in an area that I had no recollection of how I got there! I remember thinking, ‘uh oh, this isn’t good, to have driven this far and have no memory of how I got here!’…which should have been my signal for a reality check, but I totally lost the opportunity and woke completely.

In waking, I realized this lost opportunity and was determined to get back into the right mindset to get OOB. It took a long time, and much effort before I finally heard in my head to ‘just let go’. Figuring this meant I wasn’t going to get OOB tonight, I rolled over and went to sleep.

Very soon thereafter (I think!), I became aware of a ‘lighter sensation’ and that ‘knowing’ that this is it!! I tempered my excitement knowing I was getting ready, and then felt the slight ‘tingles’ that I now get in place of full vibrations. I remember thinking again, ‘finally! Yes! It’s happening!’

I was fully alert, yet knew all I had to do was raise my astral arms for confirmation, which I did. Wasting no time, I rolled out off the bed to my left, and affirmed, ‘to the door!’ Moving along, I realized I was still ‘fuzzy’, with vision that kept fading, so affirmed ‘Awareness now!’ multiple times as I moved into the hallway and down the stairs. I was amazed how that simple statement could clear up any fog in my thinking and vision.

Now at the bottom of the stairs, it opens into a large room, not my house. I see offices off to the side, and hear radio/music playing. Moving into the larger room that felt to be a ‘gathering place’, I’m looking around at all the various objects within it (not that I can remember what they are now!).

As I get across the room, I figure there has to be someone here, so mentally holler, “Is anyone here?” Right away, I hear a male voice excitedly yell back, ‘Yes! We’re over here!’

In the far corner, I see two elderly men in wheelchairs. I get the feeling of a ‘nursing home’ or sorts we are in, and they are old time veterans who live here. As I approach, I start talking to them about who they are and why they are here. I don’t recollect any specific conversation, because I am focused on the fact that my vision and awareness keeps fading.

Determined to see who these men are, I demanded emphatically, “AWARENESS NOW!!” and I was excited to see my vision came back clear and crisp immediately! The one gentleman was of solid build, with very short white hair, and a friendly smile that told me he was thrilled to see me. The other gentleman was smaller, with longer dark hair and perhaps a Hispanic background.

Now, I really am sorry I don’t remember much of our conversation as I was doing more thinking about me and my ‘status’ at the time! While talking, I thought maybe I should be doing something else, like affirming ‘to my Higher Self’ which would help me more.

With that, I remember saying “to my Higher Self’ but I could FEEL and hear it spoken with my physical body! My physical lips moved with that affirmation and it totally threw my consciousness into full physical reality. I was back in body and unable to re-enter this experience.

I can still picture these two gentlemen, however, as the clarity of my vision was amazing. I only wish I had taken some time to remember what we discussed!

165) Cats and Puzzles

2012_01_08

I thought I'd share a quick experience I had a few mornings ago. It began with a visit from some feline friends, with becoming aware of a huge cat climbing up onto my chest! Sitting there purring to get my attention, I then found myself in a room a with three other cats. I could not actually ‘see’ these animals but sensed their energies and presence.

While bending to pet each one, I could ‘feel’ their tingly vibrational energy and ‘hear’ them make a deep meowing sound. In real life, there are no cats currently in my house and these all felt to be ‘new’ to me, not past cats I have had, nor any that have visited me before while OOB.

After the 'cat' experience, I was in and out of different 'phases' a few times that night, remembering watching hoards of people marching into a castle while I flew to the rafters. Feeling unpleasant energies here, I tried to zoom to the moon, but with much difficulty in moving then decided I’d affirm, “to my higher self!” to see where I’d go.

What happened is, I found myself aware of lying on my bed and seeing my astral arms lifted above me. I felt too heavy to move out, but then had the rare occurrence of 'astral vision' where I know I'm in a deep state on the bed with my eyes closed, but able to see and sense clearing what is in front of me.

What I see initially is a BEAUTIFUL puzzle of glorious colors with intricate pieces being put together in a stunning display of beauty that then comes to life once complete in a spectacular display of harmony and communication.

My next vision is a more 'basic' puzzle, not nearly as intricate, with black and white cartoon characters on it (I remember Foghorn Leghorn and Chip & Dale! lol). In the upper left corner are some missing pieces and even a few pieces that are jammed in wrong but made to fit.

The words, "Karen's first puzzle" are there, and I remember feeling total elation as I realize the puzzle is now complete enough for the cartoon characters to come to life, which they did similar to the more elaborate puzzle display I saw just previously!

My feelings with this experience are that the basic cartoon puzzle may be my beginner's (childlike) attempt to put the pieces together with the many facets of life experiences and knowledge I am creating. Despite my early attempts in life to 'force fit' some puzzle pieces and still with a few missing ones, I AM perhaps successful in gaining enough 'form' (knowledge) to make it all work (come to life)!

164) Daniel and Dog; Retrieval to Save a Life

2011_12_31

I’m so excited to share this latest experience, as it has left me with wonderful glowing feelings of such satisfaction and happiness! Not only did I get to have my flying fun and freedom again, which I have missed for the past few months, but also a sense of completion and satisfaction for possibly helping at least one person, if not more, continue on with life.

Waking about 3:30am, I decided since it was now the last day of 2011 that I’d like to have an OBE experience where I could again help someone, but also desired to experience for myself the joy of flying free again!

I had read an book before bed about Robert Monroe’s beginning with astral travel, and remember finding it amusing that he’d roll out similar to what I do, but then knew he was out of body when he found he didn’t end up with a ‘plunk’ on the floor!! :) This memory was retained with this experience, after I used an astral induction tape and within a short time found myself floating and ready to roll out.

I rolled off to the left, remembering, like Monroe, that if I didn’t fall to the floor, I was out!! Lol (Amazing how these memories are retained!) I was ecstatic and floated gently to the ceiling, now also remembering how Monroe would use just his mind (not my usual affirmations) to move. I found that, like him, if I ‘thought’ about moving down I did and then just thinking up, I did that!! I’ve done it many times before, but because I had just read this before sleep, I remembered reading about it and doing it.

Eventually, I had enough of the slow playtime and decided I wanted some real fun! I zoomed quickly straight up through the ceiling and roof and into the starry sky above!!! I was free again!!! Zooming so fast, flying and flipping, I was in sheer heaven with my flying….swooping and diving, elated that I was able to do so again after such a long dry spell!!

After a time, I found myself back in my bed, but still with vibrations. I realized someone was next to me again! I put out my arm to feel who was there as I asked, ‘who’s there?’ I felt an arm, emaciated, thin and very weak and then heard someone answering me.

Because the induction tape was still going on, I felt I had ‘plugs’ in my ears and was unable to hear him above the sounds. I repeated my question, now realizing it was an older very thin, frail male on my left who said his name was ‘Daniel’.

I remember we spoke for a bit, but don’t recall the conversation, but suddenly heard a sound coming from the doorway! A spry rambunctious dog, medium-sized with curly white hair all over, jumped with his front paws on the bottom of the bed to my right! He was so cute, and I turned from Daniel to pet him and make friends. I could actually feel his paws on my arm!

I didn’t realize that I was losing a ‘connection’ with Daniel, and when turning back, heard a change in the induction tape (hate that when it happens!) that signaled more awareness and possible waking. I willed myself to continue on, calling for Daniel, and was thrilled to find he returned when I looked back to my left.

Talking more, I asked how I could help him. He responded that he was very much afraid of the ‘big dog’ downstairs. I felt I needed to get him to move on, and so asked if I could bring him safely somewhere. He was reluctant, feeling like I couldn’t do it myself, so I remembered that I could ask for a guide to assist me.

I told Daniel I had a ‘friend’ who was well trained with dogs and could assist us in getting there. I looked around the room, hoping to see someone who was going to help us, but no one showed!! I felt a bit concerned that no one was showing, but Daniel thought it was rather funny, and so he said, “Well, I guess I’ll just have to let you take me!”

I took him by the hand, walked across the bedroom, out into the hall and down the stairs. I remember feeling a very slight tingle of fear as to what I might find as I entered the living room. However, I continued on and found there was nothing unusual in my living room.

Without stopping, we walked hand in hand to my front door, now wondering if he knew we could just pass through or if I should stop to try to open it! As we got nearer to the door, I decided I’d just continue on and we both passed easily through the door to the cool outdoors.

I was surprised to find myself no longer in my front yard, but somewhere outside near a road in front of us. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do with Daniel! I asked him, “Do you see anyone looking for you?” thinking someone had to be here for him! He didn’t see anyone, and all I saw was a small private plane and helicopter flying overhead to my right.

Suddenly, Daniel takes off to the road in front of me. I just stand in amazement and watch the events unfold. I see a SUV type vehicle on the road in front of me facing to the left, with the driver’s door open facing me. I see two men inside, the driver struggling to get free of the seatbelt and the passenger lying unconscious across the bench seat. There are flames shooting up from under the dash engulfing them!

Daniel is now on top of the unconscious passenger, frantically extinguishing the flames all around him with his hands. He frees the driver’s seatbelt so he can exit the vehicle. I watch Daniel still inside, on top of the passenger, now with all the flames extinguished and beaming a huge satisfied smile back at me! Daniel is no longer a thin emaciated old man, but a robust and young healthy young man! I can feel his happiness and joy with successfully saving this passenger’s life.

Looking around, there are people milling about watching this happen with me. A female silently walks by me and a man standing nearby looks at me and says, “I’ve always said this was a hazard that should have been taken care of”, which I felt to mean something dangerous about the area or the vehicle.

The entire scene faded soon thereafter, but I can still recall with such joy the satisfaction and pride that I saw on Daniel's face. I truly don’t know what this all meant, but the glow I am left with tells me something was a big success!

163) Year of Changes; Learning to Let Go; Cindy

12/26/11

It’s been a long time since I’ve had one of my astral adventures where I can share long stories of where I go and what I do. It seems for the past few months I’ve been ‘restricted’ to short little excursions with very limited recall, likely due to my changing life events and limited time for focus and intention. I will share another short OBE I had this morning, but first, a few words of gratitude and appreciation for all that has happened in my life to date.

It’s been a whirlwind year, full of unexpected changes, some more difficult than others, but always able to be endured and overcome due to my knowing that all obstacles are only lessons for more learning. Keeping a positive focus that “all is happening for a reason” was an important part of this learning, especially those more difficult times when the ‘reason’ is unclear and unknown. (But I will say, for most of it, the reason eventually showed itself and I am amazed how the Universe always knows what is best, despite our initial objections!)

So, with the closing of this year I send my thanks for all that I have been shown and have learned and now face the New Year with excitement and an even more positive focus that I AM where I need to be and doing what I need to be doing at this time.

I intend to devote more time to MY desires and needs, which includes more astral travel and all its lessons, as well as real life travel to seek out those who share my ambition and determination in this learning adventure. By sharing what we know with others, we all become stronger in our energies and efforts, and with that, much more successful and knowledgeable about our own lives and Universe around us. It is so true that that which you put forth, returns to you twofold!

I want to thank all my friends here on this wonderful ‘intangible dimension’ that connects us all, called the internet, that offer me support and encouragement with all my travels and learning. I am blessed to have such wonderful friends and am now looking forward to hopefully meeting many of you in person somehow and hearing from so many more!

With that, I’ll share my short adventure this morning. I became aware of vibrations while in my bed and was excited to think that finally I will get out again! (Of course, I was careful not to become too excited, as you know that will stop any further progress.) I remembered my intention was to ‘go where I needed to learn’ and allowed the Universe to decide that which would be best for me at this time.

As the vibrations lifted, I was aware I was still in my bed, but now there was someone lying in the bed next to me. Knowing I am usually alone, I turned to see who it was and was a bit shocked to see it was my ex-husband! Somehow I knew there was something here I needed to ‘let go’ of, and asked him what he wanted.

Without a lot of details, I know we had a good conversation about how things changed with us, and what we both needed to do to move on. It’s a conversation that I know could not happen in real life, as he is still too bitter to talk with me. But I felt I achieved a sense of accomplishment with our discussion and was content.

As our conversation completed, I became aware of another person near the bottom of the bed, and called out, ‘who’s there?’ I distinctly heard a female answer “Cindy” and she proceeded to tell me about these two males with her, aged 23 and 12, who wanted to talk with me.

For some reason, there was SO much noise going on around me, almost like a room full of people, that I was having difficult focusing on her voice and hearing what she wanted to tell me! I asked a few times for her to repeat herself, but eventually, all of them just faded away without any further information.

I also realized I was having difficulty speaking, and it seemed that every time I attempted to talk, so much saliva and drooling (yuck!) was happening that I eventually just gave up trying to clear it (as I felt it was going to wake me up) and tried to talk with it, not worrying about how it appeared!! Lol

The next I realize I’m once again with my ex-husband who is upset that his father isn’t doing well in the hospital, and I had the impression that he was about to pass over due to ‘heart trouble’. At the time I didn’t remember that his father had already passed from a heart attack a few years ago, and can remember thinking during the experience that this may be a sign that something may happen in the near future for him.

I was surprised now to find myself rolling off the bed, caught up once again in the sheets and all tangled! I see my kitten from a few years ago on the side of the bed, and I play with her. In hindsight, this was the beginning of another ‘false awakening’, as I then heard my mother coming up the stairs to my bedroom!

Not wanting her to find me in bed, I quickly rolled back into the bed and pulled the covers off to get up. Asking what she’s doing here she responds she’s looking for a toy that my granddaughter Samara lost. Mom proceeds to put some clothing on the bed, as I pull off a sleep mask that I knew I had on. At this point I feel I’m fully awake, and need to get some recording done, but cannot do so with company in the bedroom! Lol

I feel a gentle change in energy, and now realize that I’m NOT fully awake, so I force myself to full awareness. That little seed of doubt about my reality is always a clue that I’m not fully back to awareness, and I use it to either move into another experience or to full wakefulness so that the experience I just had is able to be remembered and recorded.

162) Country Carnival; Tracy and Tattoo

Dec. 1, 2011

Due to major changes in my life over the past few months, I have not had the ability to truly focus on my OOB experiences as I used to. However, I am thankful that I still have memories of exiting my body a few times, but mostly with very limited recall of exactly what I did after exiting.

The last two exits I over the past week were rather uneventful, but I will share what I can recall. The first exit I remember having great control and keen awareness of my being out of body, however, once again, with another false awakening that had me thinking I was fumbling with my recorder, I was distracted enough so that once I fully woke, I lost many of the details.

I remember easily rolling out of body and being very aware of my clear thinking process. I was riding in a boat and marveling at the beauty of the surroundings and the amazing blue sky. The water below this unusual boat was shallow water, with the feeling more of flooding than a river. I somehow knew I was ‘in the future’ but I am not sure how I knew this.

I actually remember thinking this boat wasn’t moving fast enough for me, so to get where I wanted to be instantly, I just affirmed, ‘take me to where I need to learn!’ Immediately I found myself listening to the sounds of a country carnival on a hillside.

My vision was poor and it was dark, and I had enough awareness to remember to say ‘clarity now!’ and then ‘clear vision now!’ which immediately helped me to see the people milling around me. One person in particular made eye contact but no communication. I noticed a small building nearby that reminded me of a concession stand, and I had the feeling I was supposed to be working there.

Looking inside I see people tending to plants of some kind and I remember thinking how clear everything was! I know I went inside and there was more I did, but here’s where my memory fades after the false awakening took much of my focus with the transition back to full wakefulness. It is just so frustrating when this happens so often in my experiences.

The next exit was a few days later, after listening to some binaural beats, when I became aware of being within a familiar black tunnel with the backward sensation of movement. I was being pulled backward for a very, very long time, feeling my body moving in different postures at times but realizing that I should just ‘let go’ and see what happens next. It seems like it took forever for the tunnel backward pulling sensation to end!

My next recollection was of floating above the bed I was in but again, not have any clear vision. This time I did not have the awareness to do ‘clarity now’, likely because my next realization was that there was something VERY tight grasping my body as I lie on the bed!! A tight constricting feeling was encircling my waist, and I became a bit concerned.

Trying to loosen the grip, I starting swatting at whatever it was, only to realize it was an arm!! Someone was holding me tightly around my waist!

I immediately asked, ‘who’s there?’ and ‘what’s your name?’ for which she replied, “Tracy” and mumbled something about “?four years?”. It’s odd, but because I had had ear buds in listening to an induction routine prior to this experience, I was fully aware that my ears were ‘plugged’ and asked her to please repeat what she said as I had these things in my ears!

I then asked, ‘what can I do for you?’ and remember she starting telling me her story and it involved something about a tattoo….only to lose her completely when I was suddenly startled awake by a very loud sound in the house! Full wakefulness, and no idea what just happened!

I could still ‘see’ her face…thin, drawn, with short lighter hair…and a sad expression. I have no idea what she wanted or how I could have helped, and am frustrated once again to have had such an incomplete experience.

Hopefully, with some stability starting to come back into my life at this time, my experiences will once again be enough that I can share with everyone on a regular basis. Thanks to all my astral friends for their patience and support over the past few weeks in the form of emails and facebook messages. Friends truly are the ‘family’ we choose for ourselves…and I’m thankful for every one of you!

161) Life Enhancement; Cell death

11/07/11 4am

My first recollection is of being with a woman as we walked together in some fields. The conversation was about my friend George and his desire to go visit (?) Egypt, but the woman told me he felt he didn’t want to go alone. Then somehow I remember it was ‘Gilligaland’ we were going to (I even spelled this upon first waking as I was sure of its name as it reminded me of an old TV show, Gilligan’s Island). There was some mention about ‘life enhancement’ and we were going to go there and take George with us.

I grabbed her hand and said, ‘come on then, let’s go get him and go there!’ and we then attempted to take off flying. It was difficult to do so facing forward and so I suggested, ‘let’s go backward like we used to!’ remembering how many times I would travel out of body in a backward type of motion.

Feeling myself flying with this backward pull gave me the awareness that I was now in vibrations, with a sensation of floating, and able to easily roll out of body. I was in my bedroom standing, feeling heavy and difficult to move, but affirmed, ‘to the door!’ to get away from my body.

As this was not a ‘planned’ journey, I was not in my usual ‘traveling couch’ area, but also in a different bedroom in my house than I was accustomed to. It is interesting to note that I was even able remember while out of body the reasons why I was not in my usual bedroom or routine with the life changes that I’m experiencing right now.

Having just finished a weekend seminar with Robert Moss (www.mossdreams.com), a teacher of dream work, I also had had the opportunity to listen to audio recordings of William Buhlman as he described his various techniques on the long drive home. His use of the affirmation, “Awareness Now!” was prominent in my mind, and with this experience having such heaviness and unclear vision at first exit, I used it emphatically at this time with great success!

Standing in the hallway, I could now see clearly as I made my way to the living room. I see a shadow of someone move quickly past me and I shout out, ‘who are you?’ This shadow disappeared out the front door and I was surprised to see standing there now a young boy of about 10-12 with sandy colored hair coming toward me.

He didn’t say anything at all, but took my hand and pulled me urgently toward the front door. I said to him, “OK, let’s go! Show me what you want me to see!” Holding hands together, we passed directly through the front door and starting moving up this hill (that is not really there). I remember thinking as I moved up the hill that I felt a concern there could be something ‘terrible’ I would find.

At the top of the hill was a wooden structure, like a cabin or shed built on stilts with an open area below the floor. We did not enter the building, but moved to the side where the young boy stands and points at something under the building.

Going closer, I see it appears to be a large piece of cardboard with writing on it. It appears to be some sort of UPC code with the words “In the event of cell death….return to (parents).” (Note: the word parents is the best description of what I felt the word to mean). My first feeling was this cell reference was to a cell phone, but yet the boy was quite upset thinking this is something that is just not right. He was upset, telling me, “it shouldn’t say that” and I was about to ask him what he meant when I felt that familiar tug of returning to body.

What was interesting was that while in that ‘in between state’ before full consciousness, I saw and heard Robert Moss say to me, “Come into my room…you’ve just had an adventure and I want to hear all about it!”

I can see that this OBE had quite a number of recent ‘real life’ experiences melded into it and I’m not sure what to make of it. It wasn’t one of the longest or best OBEs I’ve had but I’m thankful to know that they are returning to end the ‘dry spell’ that has occurred due to many new life changes for me.

I would be interested in hearing from others as to what you may feel the cryptic message the boy was trying to tell me. Comment here or email me if you have any ideas!

160) Dream Work with Robert Moss at Gore Mountain

Nov. 4-6, 2011

I thought I’d share some of the experiences I had this past weekend when I was so graciously invited to attend a twice-yearly Gore Mountain dream circle gathering with Robert Moss and his ‘frequent flyers’ who work to explore this larger reality we call ‘dreaming’.

Using both small and large group journeys, we were led by drumming to go within ourselves to seek different dimensions and realities that could be expressed in personal images, thoughts, and stories. Using dream sharing techniques he developed, creative expression and healing was done on many levels for many of the participants of our dream circle.

Personally, I found this experience quite powerful, one that used an innate ability we all have that I had never before encountered. As an astral traveler with frequent out-of-body journeys, this aspect of dream work was new to me and very appealing as a possible alternative technique that would help me continue my own spiritual growth and fulfill a desire to help others heal through their own self-discovery.

I made many journeys this weekend, both with the entire group, as well as with smaller groups. Sharing our stories and dream journeys, we as ‘trackers’ helped one another by offering personal images that could be now interpreted by the specific ‘seeker’ for their own use. Robert used various locations and situations suggested by the participants to use as a framework for a guided journey into past, present, and future times. I will share three of my own personal journeys that I felt were important for my spiritual growth.

During one journey when we were to go within the mountain and feel the energy of the deer and earth, I received a strong message from the mountain animals that changes were coming and that we needed to pay attention to the animal’s warnings. I was told that those who listened would be led ‘within the mountain’ and be allowed to grow even more beautifully than they were now, and those who did not heed the animal’s warning would be caught up in a ‘mountain of fire’. I clearly saw the red glow of the mountain where those ‘on the outside’ were transformed into trails of smoke rising softly above the mountain.

In another journey, we were led with the drumming to a Pavilion of Peace where we could go to when stressed with our ‘outer’ life and meet our ‘greater self’. In this pavilion, I was met by my animal guides, the red-tailed hawk and owl who explained to me that it was important to know that every action and thought we encounter in this ‘outer’ life offer important lessons we can learn from.

On that pavilion walls, I could see various panels that depicted many lives happening all at once (possibly my past lives). In one particular panel, I watched as a young monk in the Middle Ages was unjustly persecuted for his beliefs and felt the anger and rage he held onto as he perished. I was led to understand that I needed to ‘let go’, and to see that this sacrifice led to a greater understanding by many people. I felt comforted to know that my seemingly ‘unjust’ death was actually a leap forward in spiritual growth for others, as well as myself.

In another experience, I traveled deep into the earth where I was led through a darkening passageway by a guide who showed me a door. Opening the door, I entered into a room without any visible light. Completely surrounded by darkness, I was told I was to use my non-visual senses to ‘see’ what was there.

I felt there to be an entire city of people living here, guided only by their ‘intuitive senses’ and without any form. We were able to communicate without words and knew what each other ‘felt’ and thought. I sensed myself as nothing more than a ‘mere thought’ or a single point of existence. Yet, as this point of thought, I was able to take in massive amounts of information regarding my surroundings and those around me. I felt loved and accepted, living in harmony with those around me. I understood that I am to allow myself to be that valuable part of All That Is, to try to not take things personally as I do much of the time and restrict my actions because of it.

I was a bit disappointed that I was not able to travel out of body during this time to bring back an experience to share with the group. The first night I had only a small dream recall of a dark haired mother and daughter smiling back at me, with a strong impression that I was to remember them for some reason. The second night, I clearly remember dreaming of being within the dream circle, with Robert choosing me to start the sharing of experiences. I felt pressured to perform, worried that I didn’t have anything to share, and needing to improvise. Waking with this concern, I did what Robert suggests and allowed myself to go back within this dream and see what more I could discover. I was able to learn better that I was the one putting the pressure on myself and that I only needed to ‘let go’ and allow the information to flow without fear of rejection or disappointment. There was only my own ‘belief’ of perceived pressure blocking this ability to perform.

The last evening there, we were asked to give a creative offering on the final day and I felt compelled to write. As we sat around the fire in the lodge, words would spring up in my mind. Writing as we chatted, the poem came to life. I will share it here:

The Wisdom of the Water

Rambling through the forest
Amid trees and leaves of green
I spy a tiny spotted fawn
Stirring from its sleep.

She stands beside her mother
Feebly first, then strong
Knowing she is protected
And here where she belongs.

I move along to a meandering stream
As it nestles within the ground
Savoring the shimmering waters
As I hear its magnificent sound.

It leads me to a waterfall
And I honor the life in its flow
I thank it for its nourishing wisdom
That has helped us all to grow.

But what it specifically means to me
Is to know that we are as One
Each with the joy of living and learning
Until that time has come

To move beyond our limited ‘selfs’
Into the Omniscent and Loving Presence
That is always here to bind us together
And give us eternal essence.

When I open myself to the All That Is
As I flow along with this stream
I hear the words that echo my youth
Singing, “Life IS but a dream.”

The weekend was filled with beautiful stories, heartfelt emotions, as well as energetic and enthusiastic dream theater. Laughter was abundant, as well as a tremendous sense of acceptance and loving energy. The dream family at Gore Mountain, led by Robert Moss, is an exceptionally warm and welcoming group of people that I cannot thank enough for making this one of the best weekends I have ever experienced.

159) Rough Exit; New Technique; Astral Vision with Eye

October 20, 2011

I’m pleased to be able to post another OBE on my blog, as it has been quite an emotional few weeks with many changes in my life. I feel I’m just now beginning to get things under control, and have been thinking that my OBEs might start to return.

I’ve been having short lucid dreams and using the new methods that Robert Moss has shown me in his workshop to try to understand more of what the dream process wants to teach me. It’s quite interesting to see how your ‘dreaming’ mind, once in the ‘in-between’ state just before waking, can bring up all sort of symbolic and relevant images that pertain to your personal learning. Journaling this information is educational for me, but unfortunately, not enough to share on my blog.

This morning, however, I found myself within a dream, again driving a car and realizing it just wasn’t handling right. I thought my tires were low (as has been happening in real life) and went to stop the car, now finding out that there were no brakes!! I’m careening toward vehicles that are in my path and I now remember that this is a serious, possibly life-threatening situation I’m in.

I have learned that anytime I find myself in a serious situation to do a ‘reality check’ and it was just before the impending crash that I realized there was a tiny bit of doubt as to whether this was ‘real’ or not. That was all I needed to KNOW now that this WAS a dream and I could move out and take control!

I realized upon taking control that my arms and legs are now floating above my body. Excited to get out again, I roll over and am surprised to ‘feel’ as if I’m tangled in a bunch of cords and sheets! It takes a second ‘rollout’ before I’m able to stand, and as I shake the cords free, I have the sensation of holding my pillow under my right arm! Since I am currently sleeping in a different bedroom in the house, this might have played a part in my ‘tangled’ feelings in this new bedroom environment.

Without thinking too much about why I have this pillow, I move out into the hall and down to the living room. Everything appears just as it is, and now the pillow is gone. I don’t usually have any sensation of a ‘body’ once out, but this time I remember the Astral Projectors group on Facebook talking about Mike Raduga’s phasing and his deepening technique of rubbing your hands together. So I try to do this to see what would happen.

I am aware that I can easily ‘feel’ my hands rubbing together, and even am able to look down to see the ethereal white glowing of hands in front of me. At the same time, however, I affirm ‘clarity now!’ and have an improvement in my vision. (I’m not sure if it was the deepening technique or my usual affirmation, but I wasn’t going to question it) I’m just pleased that I was able to remember to do this technique, as I rarely take the time to focus on anything ‘bodily’ related due to fear of returning back to body.

I move easily to the side door, through the dining room, clearly seeing and enjoying being out once again. I am now eager to get outdoors and flying again, so I start to take a running jump to ‘fly’ through the patio doors to take off.

I’m so surprised to feel a sudden ‘pull-back’ and lifting up, and I’m watching the house disappear below me as I move straight up! I’m a bit disappointed to find myself back in body in my bed, but with a small ‘porthole’ type window appearing in front of me, similar to what I have described as ‘astral vision’ before.

I am aware I’m in body, but can see into this porthole a beautiful countryside with animals, but this time it’s SO tiny, that I wonder why I can’t make it bigger to see more or even pass into!

What happened next was unexpected, as this ‘tiny’ porthole pulled back and I was now able to see that it was the entire iris and pupil of a left eye! Somehow I knew this shadowy person looking at me…..was me! I was looking directly into the left pupil of my other ‘self’ to see this ‘world’ within! (Seems I've been 'seeing' quite a bit of my 'other' self lately!)

I woke fully right after, trying to recall all the details of this unusual exit and ending. I’m so happy I have something to share with everyone after this long dry period. IMO, my limited excursions lately is likely due primarily to the new life I’m beginning, as well as my lack of focus and setting intentions/plans for what to do when out of body. I know will be affirming every night what it is I want to do should I find myself out of body again!

158) Robert Moss Workshop Experiences

I had the great opportunity and pleasure to attend a workshop this past weekend with the well-known author of many books on conscious lucid dreaming, Mr. Robert Moss (www.mossdreams.com) This weekend’s workshop was called Shamanic Lucid Dreaming and I was intrigued to attend to learn more about this interesting and different approach to dream work using conscious wakefulness and drumming.

As an out of body traveler who primarily uses this ability during the night for my own spiritual development as well as service to others who may need assistance, I felt this workshop could offer a unique perspective on the art of dreaming and interpretation as it relates to the multidimensional lives we live here. I was not disappointed!

The workshop began on a Friday evening, and I immediately felt a familiarity and sense of serenity in his presence, as he joined us all in an opening circle and blessing. I was pleased to see that we would be working within a circle where everyone would be seen as equals, with no one person having a more prominent position in the session. This gave me a sense of comfort and ease in speaking, especially since the toss of his drumstick revealed that it chose me to start the introductions!

During that evening we journeyed with the drumming a few times, and I felt another sense of familiarity with the sound, reminding me of some part of myself that I felt was calling me. My first few sessions with the drumming gave me flashes of a campfire, feathers on a stick, and my always present red-tailed hawk flying against the moon. Robert wanted us to title our experiences, and for this first one, the words “Wisdom Within” came forth.

As an interesting note, during this first evening Robert shared his story of his red-tailed hawk, another connection I felt that gave me knowing I was where I should be.

Again with a second drumming session, I felt as though I was flying, this time on the wings of an owl that took me to the same campfire within a forest clearing. I could see the Native Americans in a circle below, and as the owl flew up to the branch above the fire, I felt as if I became one of the individuals within the circle. I felt happy, as it felt like ‘home’ and I mentally asked, “What does this mean?” The one word answer came clearly through: “Remember….”

That night I had the intention as I went to sleep that I would have something to share with group the next morning. I felt a bit disappointed that I had not traveled that night, and discovered I had only a small snippet of a dream to share.

I titled this dream, “Meeting Myself”. In this dream, I remember clearly seeing and talking with this other Karen (felt to be a part of me) and one who looked exactly as I do now. I was accepting a friendly, almost playful, challenge to a foot race we would have. I distinctly remember the strong feeling of how important it was to me that THIS TIME I have to finish the race ahead of her!

In sharing this story with Robert, he was able to ask questions that gave me ability to understand what this might mean to me personally. Whereas I had no idea what to make of the dream upon waking, I was now able to understand that this might have a ‘reality check’ with my current life events, in that I felt the ‘other’ Karen was likely the professional, comfortable, stable, do what others want and don’t make changes Karen that I was currently trying to break away from and get ‘ahead’ of.

In understanding this, I also knew that the strong desire I felt within this dream to win this race meant that in order to win, I should continue to keep moving forward with my new goal of ‘breaking free’ and becoming that Karen that I want to be, not the one who lives only as expected by others.

I do feel at this time there are two Karens in my life, the medical professional who must keep control and restraint from running too far, and the Karen who wishes to seek new and exciting experiences that may mean stepping forward with ideas and notions that may not be as comfortable to work with.

The questions that Robert taught us to ask ourselves or others when sharing our experiences are all designed to bring out a myriad of responses from others that could relate to the event, whether a personal recount of a life experience or our intuitive sense of what it could mean. However, that there is NO ONE person or interpretation that is right or wrong when sharing as a group. I was happy to hear that Robert also agrees that our dream experiences are very personal, and that the only proper interpreter for any experience is that individual who had the experience.

In seeking to know more and sharing our experiences with others, he suggests that we begin to recount the story, giving only details and facts without our interpretation. A title is important to show the highlight of the experience.

Next the dreamer is asked about their feelings with the events, whether it brought forth fear, pain, sadness, joy, or other significant associations. In doing do, the dreamer should look for what Robert calls ‘reality checks’ (different than what I have mentioned before that are more associated with ‘awareness’ in our current reality), to see if any part of the story could fit with current life experiences or even as a possibility for the dreamer’s future. Then for clarity, the dreamer is then asked, ‘what is it that you want to know about this dream?’

Insight from others is then asked for, with the understanding that the individual is only offering what they feel it would mean to them by prefacing their statements with “if it were my experience….” Only the dreamer can be the final judge of appropriateness and significance.

After receiving the group’s insight, the dreamer is asked to make an action plan, based on the new understanding and knowledge that may have come forth. There should always be some sort of action to be done, even if there was limited information. The action may then include the need to go back into the dream to gather more information to process.

Dream re-entry was another interesting part of this seminar, as we would take turns being ‘seeker’ and ‘tracker’. The seeker would be the dreamer, who would say what help is needed with an experience or dream, along with an image to focus on that is significant for them, and the trackers would be those who would use their resources by any means to bring back guidance with their impressions during the drumming.

There were two significant experiences I had with this day’s drumming sessions that I will share. One session we were asked to face each of the four cardinal directions (East, South, West, North) and reach for our ancestral connection to see what images we would find.

We began our journey visualizing ourselves as a bird, sitting high in a tree looking out. Of course I was my red-tailed hawk and as the drumming began, I’m sitting high in my tree, facing East overlooking a beautiful canyon, as the luminous sun rises and smoke from campfires softly ascend amidst the morning mist.

Turning to face south, I see the ocean, the shimmering sparkling waters that give rise to a sensation of movement. A ship appears, and I feel a connection with the travelers and explorers.

Turning West, I now see a vast abundant land, filled with corn, wheat, and buffalo, feeling this ‘land of plenty’ that now is before me.

As I face North, I sense a grandfatherly Native American figure before me, holding in his hands three feathers. I feel joy and pride, a sense of accomplishment. In my mind, I hear, “You have come full circle” as he hands me these feathers to ‘fly’ with. (In hindsight I also now notice the circle of ‘beginnings-movement-abundance-success’ as well as ‘fire-water-land-air’ in this experience)

When the drumming stops, I am filled with a sense of satisfaction, a knowing that I am absolutely following the right path at this time, and make the action plan that I shall continue to seek new experiences and not return to the ‘comfortable and stable’ Karen that doesn’t change.

In a subsequent drumming session, we were told to go to an open air market and seek that merchant’s stand that most resonated with items from our childhood. Once there we were to find an object from our youth that would immediately open the gates to a large doorway behind the stand where a horse would appear to carry us to another tent. In this tent, we were to discover that which we needed to know most about ourselves, and it was with this drumming experience, that I felt my deepest emotional response. Tears actually came to my eyes when I realized that a small lost part of me when I was a young girl of six was returned to me.

As the drumming started, I found the merchant stand that held items from my childhood, a favorite doll, a dress I loved, and the old worn blanket I carried. However, it was finding the long lost ring had been given to me by my grandmother that offered the emotional ‘key’ to opening the doorway to my horse.

My horse was the beautiful Pegasus, a white winged horse that carried me safely on his back to the big circus-type tent in the valley below. Entering the tent, I saw a young girl and immediately recognized her as myself at the age of six. She was quiet, insecure, fearful, and feeling so alone. I could feel her sadness and the need for someone to be there for her. I was surprised to see this beautiful woman standing radiantly behind her, yet this young Karen did not notice.

I moved toward her, and she smiled and I gave her a tight hug as I presented her with this long lost ring. I told her that I knew she would be okay and all will be well in her life, and that she was never alone. Pointing to the radiant woman behind her, the young Karen was now able to see this beautiful woman who had been with her all along. The sheer joy, release, and freedom I felt was overwhelming. Tears streamed down my cheek, and despite the drumming that continued, I had to bring myself back to the room to prevent further loss of emotion.

That night, remembering that even the smallest of dream recall is important, I made the intention to once again start journaling as I used to do, writing down each and every memory of an event I experienced while dreaming. In the morning, I had four new experiences to write about, and with the group’s insight, I was able to understand even more of what I wanted to know.

In hindsight, it seems the general theme of the workshop dream events circled around that which I most needed right now…..the need for guidance and support to help me maintain this ‘new’ focus and perspective on life I’ve only recently begun. I need to keep focused on doing what I love to do, so I do not fall back into the other more ‘comfortable’ Karen life that is always wanting to ‘win’ this race!

I also realize that my desire to focus primarily on only the astral travel part of lucid dreaming is but a small piece of this vast and infinite process of awareness. I was unknowingly limiting myself and now armed with this new knowledge and ability to utilize another method of dream work, I feel I have made an important step in finding new resources to help with my personal spiritual growth and learning more about this wonderful multidimensional universe we live in.

Thank you, Robert Moss, for giving me this opportunity.

157) Metamorphosis - Signs and Synchronicities Help with Change

Although I don’t like to write too much personal stuff here on the blog, I felt it is important that I post here what’s been going on in my life over the course of the last six weeks.

I have done much reading about the ‘changing energies’ and such that is part of this time in our lives, and I do believe that this is all playing a part in what’s happening with me.

You may have noticed that my OBE experiences have not been of the same type I am used to having, with little recall and activity happening. It is mostly due, I am sure, to the emotional issues I am going through, as my ‘focus’ is not intently on having OOBEs at this time due to major changes in life.

The biggest catalyst for this change for me had to the Hurricane Irene on September 26 and the flooding devastation that it caused to many families in my area. I was luckier than most, yet still had to deal with a flooded basement and clearing out 25+ years of memories and possessions that I treasured from my past.

Just the week before we had experienced our first East Coast earthquake in over 100 years. This did no damage here, but was a bit disconcerting.

Of course, the Universe knows that an uneventful earthquake and mere flooding isn’t going to be enough to kickstart me into action with the full cleansing process that I needed to do, so it gave me other issues to deal with like a frightful tire blowout in rush hour traffic one week, my credit card being stolen and used another week, and a repeat flooding with Tropical Storm Lee that passed through the following week.

In taking stock of my life with these issues, I had to further realize that my married life was also doomed to the cleansing process, with the knowing that we had grown apart and were no longer capable of giving or receiving what we both need to have a full life. This was a very difficult step for me to consider, yet one I know had been in my thoughts frequently over the past year or two.

Over the weeks, I asked constantly for help in sending signs and giving me guidance as to what I needed to do. I can see now how many of my lastest OBEs and even dreams gave support and significance to what is happening, although I haven’t been able to post them due to personal content.

I want you to know that the Universe does provide for signs and comfort when needed, and especially if asked for. I never needed some signs as badly as I did this past weekend, and they were there for me. It still amazes me to think of the synchronicities that fell into place to get me where I am.

I will share the few that I can, and it began with a Facebook post by a good friend (psychic) who saw these monarch butterflies that were “insistent” in getting her attention. Although she didn’t know who they were for exactly, her initial feelings were that they were for me.

I didn’t place too much faith in this as a sign specifically for me, but felt it could be, as my grandmother is always associated with the monarch butterfly because she loved them so much.

That same day, while outdoors trying to think about how I had to make these changes and wondering if now was the right time, TWO monarch butterflies come out of nowhere and start fluttering all around me!!! I watched in amazement, and silently thanked the Universe for the sign and support that it was all going to be ok.

Later, the same night, in a Facebook post, I see someone posted another butterfly photo and just below it was a beautiful picture of a red-tailed hawk. I knew at once that this was another sign for me, as the hawk has been with me many times, in real life, every time I needed a sign before.

There is a hawk that lives in my area that I never see unless I need validation about something. I saw one the day my grandmother died, as he swooped down in front of my car and landed next to the road on a post in clear view. At THAT time, I knew my grandmother was passing on (which was accurate to the minute) and I gave thanks again for the signal and comfort that all was ok.

It’s funny how even though I wasn’t outdoors, the Universe managed to make sure I still saw my hawk JUST when I needed to have the comfort! I was so totally amazed!

I was now certain of my actions and what I needed to do. The following day, just prior to making the official changes, I walked outdoors to center myself. I asked once again for a sign, if possible, just to be sure, and what happens?

ANOTHER monarch butterfly comes out of nowhere and again flutters all around me!! I smile so wide and thank the Universe profusely for their support and now happily and contentedly am able to go full steam ahead into creating a new and wonderful life for myself!

156) Analyzing, Seeing the Future, No Help with Retrieval

Sept. 18, 2011

I went to my ‘traveling couch’ about 3am as usual with the intention that I would try to see into the future and see if I could bring back some sort of information as to what’s planned for me.

After a bit, I found myself aware of vibrations, a soft buzzing sensation all over my body. I was excited to think I’d get out again, and focused on finding the right time to roll out. I pushed off and found myself, again, very heavy and difficult to move alongside my body.

I knew I had to get away, and affirmed, “to the door!” which brought me to my front door. Thinking clearer now, I affirmed ‘awareness now!’ and happily moved through the door, feeling the outside air. I took off once again, loving the ability to fly and flip with such freedom!

I remember there was lot of floating and flying going on at first, and from up high, I could see a town below. I was so enraptured with the freedom of movement that I intentionally put ‘myself’ in all sort of body contortions…just enjoying myself!

It was at this point in doing a 360 degree flip that I asked myself ‘how am I able to tell what position I’m in if there is no gravity in the astral?’ This was a new thought to me, as I usually don’t try to analyze while out, but I wanted to know. I thought, what IS it that gives me the sensation of position with my ‘astral body’ when there is no body?

I make a point of doing another flip trying to pay attention to what it was that gave me the ‘knowing’ of my position! I realized it was a ‘fullness’ in my head when I put my feet up that seems to give validation to my position, and the feeling of ‘air’ in my face when I was moving forward…and wondered if it was really there or just my ‘usual belief’ that it had to be so!

I didn’t try to analyze this too much, instead focusing on what it was that I wanted to do tonight. I remembered I wanted to ‘see the future’ and with that, immediately found myself guided to an area below.

As I am flying down from above, I see what initially looks like a building (school feeling?) surrounded by flooded waters! (I have certainly had enough of that in my life lately!) Upon closer inspection, however, I see the shimmering water is actually part of the landscape intentionally put there surrounding the beautiful building. The only way to get to this area is by flying in or via water. (Water is the universal dream symbol for your unconscious, emotions, and life energy...so this may mean I was getting in ‘deep’!)

I feel excited about going here and anticipate a great experience, but as I go to land on the sidewalk outside, I suddenly feel a strong pull backward and the knowing I will not be going in!

Without having time to think, I found myself in a dark black tunnel, moving backward again, just as I have done many times before. I think now that I must try to direct myself, and affirm ‘to my higher self!’ as this tunnel is similar to what I have felt before in other experiences when I was affirming that intent.

What happened next was a bit disappointing, as I found myself back on the couch….but again with someone standing next to me!! I felt uncomfortable, not the ‘negative’ type energy, but an ‘irritable, agitated, impatient’ type energy. It was uncomfortable enough that I remembered I had to ‘send love’ to this individual, and remember doing it more than once!!

What I finally saw was this elderly white female, with short white wavy hair, standing next to me speaking about how she is STILL waiting for this person that was to meet her! (I felt it was a male she was waiting for) She had calmed with the love energy I sent so I was able to hold a long polite conversation with her, talking about all sorts of things.

I remember asking her name, hoping it’d trigger a validation once awake, and after having her repeat it (as I didn’t hear it clearly the first time), she said ‘Tanya Tucker’….but she then smiled and laughed as she recounted the story about how that isn’t her ‘real name’ as she was given the Tucker name (by someone in a young age) and her real name was Tanya Hallock (?) Tucker, otherwise known as “THT” she said. (The name Hallock is the best pronunciation I can get from it, it could be something else similar sounding).

She actually was a very polite woman, with a gravelly voice, talking at length and holding my hand as she spoke. She says she’s waiting for someone she missed, and just keeps ‘waiting and waiting’ but he’s just not coming.

Not sure what to do, and thinking this is a spirit who needs to move on, I offer my usual suggestion to ‘look for’ someone who is with me so she can go with them. I say, “maybe you should go with the one who is here with me” thinking I could move her on.

However, in looking around, I see no one with me!! I am astonished, and even she says, ‘I don’t see anyone here!’ Trying not to miss a beat, I say, ‘well then, you just have to always keep looking for someone because they are always here!’ I felt flustered and unaccustomed to having no help at this point.

She asks something about ‘will he have….(unclear what exactly it was but I recorded something about a ‘billionaire’?) or something to that effect…and I answered, ‘well, he’ll have whatever it is you need him to have! But he’s out there waiting for you!’

With that she said she had to leave, and putting on a long red wool coat, she disappeared through a door!

I remember thinking I had to pull back to full wakefulness to get this recorded, and once again, found myself in another false awakening where I was dealing with putting together my broken recorder as my memories faded!! So frustrating! I tried my backward recall, tagging events with single words so I could remember as much as I could, but with even that small delay in waking, I lost a lot!

One other memory I have during this time, and I’m not sure where this fits, but I recall feeling as if I had ‘sore feet’ while I’m doing whatever I had to do….and just kept going…until I finally looked at my feet to see they were swollen to gigantic size with barely perceptible toes!!! I remember saying, ‘no wonder my feet hurt!!’ lol

Again, my OBEs are not clearly organized or put together to offer any cohesive insight as to what it all means, so I’m always eager to hear any comments. I do know that despite my fading memories of specific details, the freedom and happiness I had while out of body is just so fulfilling!!

155) OBE Meeting in Maine and Hotel Experience

The Travels of a Dreamwalker - Facebook Meeting 9/10/11

As promised, I thought I’d post a quick synopsis of what events occurred during the first OBE ‘road trip’ and meeting in Scarborough, Maine. The prior blog post (#154) recounts the first experience I had during this trip while visiting a fellow OBEr in Cape Cod, MA.

This meeting was arranged through a Facebook event posted a few weeks ago. (https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=199551703435174)

I will begin by recounting the OBE that occurred the night before the meeting was to happen. I awoke about 3:30am in the hotel room, and decided I’d like to try for an experience that I could share with the group the next day.

I first realized I was watching myself in a dream, walking around an unfamiliar kitchen looking for something. Realizing I wasn’t going to find it, I decided I’d go back to bed. I remember walking down a long hallway with doors on both sides (hotel hall?) until I found my own room.

Once back in bed in this unfamiliar room, I realized I was in light vibrations! What happened next was really interesting in that it seems my ‘consciousness’ moved from the ‘dream bed’ to my real bed!! I found myself fully conscious, knowing I’m physically in the hotel bed in Maine, in full vibrations!!! I was excited, but kept calm and tried to roll out.

I was confused at first, because I wasn’t sure which side of the bed would be best to roll out!! I just decided I’d ‘float’ and that’s when I was able to get to the window by my bed. Passing through the window to the outdoors, I could again feel the texture change of the glass and coolness of the night air.

Standing on the sidewalk, I tried to recall what it was that I wanted to do!! I remembered that I could always just affirm, “to my higher self!” and have a great experience, but also at that moment thought that perhaps this ‘higher self’ experience might be too ‘deep’ or hard to understand for the group the next day!

To I affirmed, “let me help someone!” as that is always what comes naturally as the next option when I’m out of body. At that moment, I found myself zooming upwards, and could look down as floor after floor of a building disappeared below me.

Finding myself in total blackness now, I am aware of strong arms around me. I feel happy and comforted, and know this is likely one of my guides who always accompanies me.

The next part is an interesting aspect of dream travel or astral projection. It seems whatever is on your mind recently will many times take precedent over what you see and do when out of body. This time was no exception, and I remember thinking, “hey, this is a good time to ask my guide what to do about (a personal situation)” that I had just discussed over dinner that night.

So I ask him as he is behind me and over my left shoulder I can hear him tell me that ‘some things just take time’ or something like that which did answer my question in a roundabout way. I decided at that point I wanted to see him, and twisted to the left to face him.

Just as in many of my other experiences with my guides, again he disappears and I feel the pullback to full wakefulness. Somehow I know that I must have told my guides to not let me get too much from them this time around in physical, as I wanted to do it myself! Lol The good part of the experience is that I did get to ‘help someone’ but it seems that that person was me!

At the meeting the next day, we had a good turnout of approximately 14 people, including our own Jaime M-Lundquist of California, founder of the Astral Projectors group on Facebook, via Skype on the computer. We wanted to trial the use of Skype for giving a wider range of audience participation possibly in the future, and from what I can see, this is definitely a possibility! Thanks Jaime for hanging in, despite the few disconnects and internet issues!

We had a beautiful room at the Hilton, quiet and secluded, and Leslie Dutton was the key facilitator I want to thank again for making sure we had a comfortable environment and some light snacks for the meeting.

After having everyone introduce themselves, I just gave a brief overview of who I was and what I did. From there, the conversations ranged from benefits of astral travel, techniques, what to expect, various blog experiences, and even UFO’s and ‘otherworldly’ contacts that many of the participants have had. This was a great panel of very open-minded and eager to learn individuals. There were SO many topics we discussed as a group, giving way to open and free flowing conversations, while answering as many questions as possible.

It was wonderful to have other astral projectors there, like Jo Leach and Jaime Lundquist, to share their experiences and interpretations on events that occurred. Even our hostess, Leslie Dutton, was so animated in sharing her first out of body experience which added greatly to the validity of the topic for the participants, as many already knew her and could see her ‘life-altering’ perceptions that came from the experience.

It is my hope that our excitement and joy in discussing and sharing the wide range of experiences and self-knowledge that came out at this meeting will encourage those who participated to seek more information about out of body travel and how it can benefit their lives.

I am looking forward to continuing to grow and learn as I travel, and will not be happy to just astrally travel anymore! Hopefully I shall be able to include more ‘physical’ travel now to see others to share my experiences with who are eager to learn and develop the out-of-body abilities that are already within each one of them!

154)Awareness now; Vacation travel with Motor Home

2011_09_07

It’s been nearly a month since my last blog post, and likely the longest it’s ever been between posts. It’s not that there has not been out of body activity, but the experiences have either been too personal or too brief to share. Even this short experience below isn’t much, but at least by posting it others may have some insight into its meaning or symbology that I cannot figure out.

For a little background, the last few weeks have been more stressful than usual with family issues and concerns as well as cleaning up from hurricane Irene that passed through our area leaving behind much damage. This entire past month seems to be a ‘cleaning up’ of energies around me, culminating with the hurricane that gave me no choice but to relinquish many items from my past and start anew.

This change in direction fits with my life as I look over the past few years as well. There has been many, many changes in my life that I would never have expected back then. Changes in career direction, family dynamics, and even a new desire to meet more of my OOBE friends has opened new doors and opportunities that could not have manifested had I not had the courage to undergo these changes. I’m thankful for all the learning and experiences I have had out of body, as I feel this has been a major reason why my life is moving in this great new direction.

As for the experience this morning, I will start by saying I am currently on my ‘road trip’ to Cape Cod and Maine to fulfill one of my desire to meet some of my online OOB friends. In my room this morning, I had the luxury of sleeping in (a rare treat!) and found myself lifting gently above my body.

Excited to know I was ready to move, I rolled out and stood in my room. It was hazy and unclear, but I was happy to see that I was able to remember my intention to use “Awareness Now!” as my affirmation once out of body.

Upon affirming “Awareness now!”, my vision cleared and I could see the details of my room. Wanting to really ‘clear up’ my thinking and enhance my recall for this experience, I again affirmed “Awareness now”. (I had listened to William Buhlman’s tapes on my long ride to Cape Cod, and was impressed with his use of this affirmation to bring more of your own ‘consciousness’ into the energy body where it was now located to enhance clarity and recall and wanted to use this in my next experience).

This worked perfectly and I knew I wanted to move out and see if I could meet up with the person I hoped to see. I headed for the door and upon exiting was SO surprised to see the change in environment! I was no longer in ‘physical’ surroundings but now hanging outside of a large mobile home that was being driven down a highway!!

I was concerned at first because I thought I hadn’t had the time to dress properly being outside, and looked back into my motel room, which I could still see clearly and perfectly and knew that at least I had my clothes with me available in that room. (I was aware I was traveling and not at home and somehow worried that I didn’t have them with me if I was leaving on this bus-like motor home.)

Now, clinging to the outside of the motor home once I left my room, I’m enjoying myself tremendously, feeling the breeze as it moves down the road, and even watching a car come at me and swinging myself in front of it just to show how ‘daring’ and unfearful I could be while OOB!

I moved up to the front to see who was driving, wanting to speak with him, and found him talking on his cell phone in heated discussion about some sort of personal issue and his inability to pay some bills. It really didn’t make much sense to me and I wondered what this all meant if someone else is driving my ‘home’.

I felt confused, maybe due to the new surroundings, maybe due to the analyzing of my situation, and quickly found myself back in body waking in my bed.

This was a short rather uneventful OBE, yet one that I clearly remember as being vivid and in full clear vision and control. I’m hoping maybe someone can maybe offer some insight into what this may mean, if anything, as I feel it has some symbolic meaning in view of the many changes I’ve experienced.

153) Helping a Fearful Child

2011_08_06

This is just a short experience I had early this am after waking and moving to my ‘traveling couch’. I thought I’d still try for the use of the MP3’s to help my ‘becoming aware’, but this time it wasn’t needed! I did use Jurgen Ziewe’s chanting sounds to relax but that was all.

I found myself ‘awake’ lying on the couch, and being aware of a sense of FEAR! Not so much for ME being fearful, but fear that was associated with someone quite close to my body as it lay on the couch!

I didn’t really see this person at first, just felt the strong fear energies emanating from it, which of course, to be honest, made me just a little bit concerned. My fear dissipated immediately when realized this was a very small child standing next to me! (He couldn’t have been more than 2 years old, likely less…)

I was at first caught offguard, wondering ‘Now what do I do?!?’ and then I sensed an adult presence also nearby at the bottom of the couch area. This was a female, clearly seen, short sandy-colored hair and small glasses and petite frame. I somehow knew she was waiting for this child to know she was there.

I’m not sure how I did it, but turning to face the child I sent love and even tried to hug him with my energies. He calmed immediately and I told him, “look who’s here!” as I picked him up and handed him to this woman. I have no idea how I knew what to do, or if I was doing the right thing, I just did what felt to be right.

The woman smiled, the child’s energies calmed and changed, and then they both disappeared!

This all happened so quick and I can remember thinking I have to get this recorded!! I distinctly remember taking out the recorder and recording it….BUT.. I found out later that I STILL wasn’t awake when I did that because the recorder was sitting untouched next to me when I fully awoke!

Thankfully, this ‘close to physical’ experience was easy to recall, even if short. I do get a feeling of being some help, and am happy to know this fearful child is safe and happy once again!

152) Seeing Buddy again; Teaching my Daughter

July 30, 2011

For this experience, again I had difficulty in falling back asleep once I moved to the ‘traveling couch’ about 3am. I used the MP3s again to fall back asleep and was disappointed to wake without any memory of dreams or OBE’s at 5am.

Not getting discouraged, I decided to try a different series of MP3s that I had made into a playlist, this one with the recording of the words “I’m dreaming” built in after the guided meditation for induction of the right ‘mind state’, followed by a white noise type binaural beats.

Part of my problem with falling back to sleep and staying asleep was the fact that my new kitten insisted on climbing on top of me and nuzzling me at random times!! I knew this might be an issue for getting OOB, but I remembered I was able to do it before with her here, so I just kept trying.

In hindsight, this may have actually helped me, as I remember starting my tapes and realized my next recollection was of the cat moving around by my legs. In ‘looking’ there, I saw not only my kitten, but also my passed on black lab curled up next to me! He was SO happy to see me and I was ecstatic to be able to rub him and cuddle him again! I do remember thinking he had had a ‘haircut’, and that was unusual, especially since he never needed one before!

It didn’t ‘click’ right away that this was unusual, but then I realized, ‘wait, he can’t be here’ and I strained to remember that I DID take him to the vet last year when he was SO infirmed and sick. My mind was befuddled for a few seconds, as he was here and SO real, that I had to force myself to remember the details of his death to know this was not a ‘physical life’ reality.

What is also unusual though is when I realized I was likely in my ‘astral body’, I didn’t even have the awareness to roll out and move! My next recollection seems to be within a ‘dream’ again, finding myself leisurely walking around a ‘flea market’ of some sort.

I’m looking at objects, talking with people and SUDDENLY, I stop in my tracks with the realization, ‘hey, I could be out of body…maybe I AM dreaming!’ (I was confused when I first woke, wondering why I had this sudden realization as there was no apparent ‘trigger’ in that dream sequence at the flea market –an anomaly or other signal like I just had with my dog Buddy – to trigger this awareness!)

I took the chance I was ‘out’ and tried to do the little jump which confirmed I was out!! (By doing a little jump and seeing how it ‘feels’ more floating and soft, then you know!) I do remember flying around and doing a few things first, but then I remembered I was there with my daughter!

I did a ‘superman pose’ flying swoop to where she was in another room, and she jumped down from some height to be with me. I told her, “You know you’re dreaming, don’t you?” She said, “No, what do you mean?” I said, “You’re are actually dreaming now and you can do whatever you want since you are out of body! You can do flips….(which, with that statement, I realized she CAN do flips already as she is a gymnast!)…well, so you can do that already, but now you can also fly!! Do a little jump, you’ll see!”

With that, she did a little jump, and said, “Wow, this is great! I am dreaming!” and she took off flying and swooping all around the room! She moved outdoors, and now I am watching her ‘remotely’ as if on a screen in front of me. I see her flying all around this playground, having so much fun, doing all kinds of things, and even passing directly through the back of a bench!

As I stood there watching her, I remember clearly thinking, ‘let me try recording now because I really want to remember all that I’ve done!’ So I pull out my recorder, holding it firmly in my hand, and see that it looks totally different from what it normally does. Instead of small and grey, it is rather large and dark colored. Nevertheless, I want to try, and with a click of the switch, I see the lights go on and am thrilled maybe I CAN record ‘from here’ so that I could retain more memories!

I framed the words in my mind and then try to speak….but I had no voice! Such an odd ‘feeling’! I’m trying to ‘talk’, I have the words and memories, but nothing is coming ‘out’! Now my thoughts are ‘gosh, this is likely going to make me go back to body, isn’t it?’…and then of course, I feel that transitioning to more wakefulness immediately after. I wake, finding nothing in my hands, and my recorder still carefully tucked at my side.

This was the first time I consciously took a chance of trying to do something I knew would make me go back to body. I generally try to avoid such things, but I so wanted to be able to recall more memories.

Also, in looking at the clock I see it is now 6am, only an hour after starting my MP3s. The hour-long white noise was still playing and only about 15 minutes into it. What I realized was that the timing of the voice stating, “I’m dreaming” was likely the trigger for the ‘sudden realization’ I had in the flea market! It worked! Instead of my usual ‘triggers’ to awareness (anomalies in what is usual), I must have unconsciously ‘heard’ those words which make me stop and think about my ‘state’!

I talked to my daughter later that day to see if she could validate or confirm any of the events. She had no specific recall, but what she told me was astonishing to me. She told me she ‘dreams a lot’ but never takes the times to try to remember them. I asked her if she ever becomes aware she is dreaming while within a dream, and she said, ‘Oh, all the time!’ She went on to say that there are times when she even is aware enough to ask herself, “I wonder if this is what my mom does when she tells me she is traveling in her dreams”!!!!

Wow, I was shocked…and told her that she has already learned the hardest part of learning to travel OOB, the ability to become ‘aware’ within a dream! I was a little disappointed, though, to hear her say that she had no interest at this time to pursue this ability. As she says, most times when she becomes aware, she remembers feeling like she would prefer to ‘just go back to the dream’ and enjoy it instead of keeping the control.

This was a great OBE, I feel, as I not only learned more about my daughter’s abilities, but that it also gave me another chance to ‘be with’ my beloved pet Buddy again! But I also learned another lesson…that I’ll just have to live with the loss of memories rather than try to make any more recordings while remaining conscious in the astral!! lol