156) Analyzing, Seeing the Future, No Help with Retrieval

Sept. 18, 2011

I went to my ‘traveling couch’ about 3am as usual with the intention that I would try to see into the future and see if I could bring back some sort of information as to what’s planned for me.

After a bit, I found myself aware of vibrations, a soft buzzing sensation all over my body. I was excited to think I’d get out again, and focused on finding the right time to roll out. I pushed off and found myself, again, very heavy and difficult to move alongside my body.

I knew I had to get away, and affirmed, “to the door!” which brought me to my front door. Thinking clearer now, I affirmed ‘awareness now!’ and happily moved through the door, feeling the outside air. I took off once again, loving the ability to fly and flip with such freedom!

I remember there was lot of floating and flying going on at first, and from up high, I could see a town below. I was so enraptured with the freedom of movement that I intentionally put ‘myself’ in all sort of body contortions…just enjoying myself!

It was at this point in doing a 360 degree flip that I asked myself ‘how am I able to tell what position I’m in if there is no gravity in the astral?’ This was a new thought to me, as I usually don’t try to analyze while out, but I wanted to know. I thought, what IS it that gives me the sensation of position with my ‘astral body’ when there is no body?

I make a point of doing another flip trying to pay attention to what it was that gave me the ‘knowing’ of my position! I realized it was a ‘fullness’ in my head when I put my feet up that seems to give validation to my position, and the feeling of ‘air’ in my face when I was moving forward…and wondered if it was really there or just my ‘usual belief’ that it had to be so!

I didn’t try to analyze this too much, instead focusing on what it was that I wanted to do tonight. I remembered I wanted to ‘see the future’ and with that, immediately found myself guided to an area below.

As I am flying down from above, I see what initially looks like a building (school feeling?) surrounded by flooded waters! (I have certainly had enough of that in my life lately!) Upon closer inspection, however, I see the shimmering water is actually part of the landscape intentionally put there surrounding the beautiful building. The only way to get to this area is by flying in or via water. (Water is the universal dream symbol for your unconscious, emotions, and life energy...so this may mean I was getting in ‘deep’!)

I feel excited about going here and anticipate a great experience, but as I go to land on the sidewalk outside, I suddenly feel a strong pull backward and the knowing I will not be going in!

Without having time to think, I found myself in a dark black tunnel, moving backward again, just as I have done many times before. I think now that I must try to direct myself, and affirm ‘to my higher self!’ as this tunnel is similar to what I have felt before in other experiences when I was affirming that intent.

What happened next was a bit disappointing, as I found myself back on the couch….but again with someone standing next to me!! I felt uncomfortable, not the ‘negative’ type energy, but an ‘irritable, agitated, impatient’ type energy. It was uncomfortable enough that I remembered I had to ‘send love’ to this individual, and remember doing it more than once!!

What I finally saw was this elderly white female, with short white wavy hair, standing next to me speaking about how she is STILL waiting for this person that was to meet her! (I felt it was a male she was waiting for) She had calmed with the love energy I sent so I was able to hold a long polite conversation with her, talking about all sorts of things.

I remember asking her name, hoping it’d trigger a validation once awake, and after having her repeat it (as I didn’t hear it clearly the first time), she said ‘Tanya Tucker’….but she then smiled and laughed as she recounted the story about how that isn’t her ‘real name’ as she was given the Tucker name (by someone in a young age) and her real name was Tanya Hallock (?) Tucker, otherwise known as “THT” she said. (The name Hallock is the best pronunciation I can get from it, it could be something else similar sounding).

She actually was a very polite woman, with a gravelly voice, talking at length and holding my hand as she spoke. She says she’s waiting for someone she missed, and just keeps ‘waiting and waiting’ but he’s just not coming.

Not sure what to do, and thinking this is a spirit who needs to move on, I offer my usual suggestion to ‘look for’ someone who is with me so she can go with them. I say, “maybe you should go with the one who is here with me” thinking I could move her on.

However, in looking around, I see no one with me!! I am astonished, and even she says, ‘I don’t see anyone here!’ Trying not to miss a beat, I say, ‘well then, you just have to always keep looking for someone because they are always here!’ I felt flustered and unaccustomed to having no help at this point.

She asks something about ‘will he have….(unclear what exactly it was but I recorded something about a ‘billionaire’?) or something to that effect…and I answered, ‘well, he’ll have whatever it is you need him to have! But he’s out there waiting for you!’

With that she said she had to leave, and putting on a long red wool coat, she disappeared through a door!

I remember thinking I had to pull back to full wakefulness to get this recorded, and once again, found myself in another false awakening where I was dealing with putting together my broken recorder as my memories faded!! So frustrating! I tried my backward recall, tagging events with single words so I could remember as much as I could, but with even that small delay in waking, I lost a lot!

One other memory I have during this time, and I’m not sure where this fits, but I recall feeling as if I had ‘sore feet’ while I’m doing whatever I had to do….and just kept going…until I finally looked at my feet to see they were swollen to gigantic size with barely perceptible toes!!! I remember saying, ‘no wonder my feet hurt!!’ lol

Again, my OBEs are not clearly organized or put together to offer any cohesive insight as to what it all means, so I’m always eager to hear any comments. I do know that despite my fading memories of specific details, the freedom and happiness I had while out of body is just so fulfilling!!