This is another experience I had, once again waking at the unusual time of 12:30am after just a few hours sleep! While I was lying there, trying to get back to sleep, I figured I’d try to ‘play’ with the new energy visualizations that I had just learned about from another OBE’r. (see next entry # 95 for details)
I realize I am able to get the energy circling once again in my palms, visualizing it powering up my system. At some point, I then realize I’m in full vibrations, and am able to make them stronger and weaker upon command. At one point, I get them almost to the point of being painful, but I knew I was in control.
I feel the floating sensations, and see hypnagogic images forming, mostly geometric shapes, again remaining fully in control and playing with them until I feel a sensation on my feet! I have no memory of separation, yet I am now aware of tapping and playful moving of my right toes.
I realize somehow they are a young child’s hands, playing with my feet, so I take my left foot and start tickling the little boy (about age 2-3) who I now see hanging onto my right foot! I pick him up and bring him up on the bed, all the time tickling and playing with him, enjoying his laughter and the fun we are having. (In the recording, I mention that I cannot recall what else we did, but we did do other fun things together for a while)
At the next recall, the experience became more dream-like because I noticed the boy seemed to get older in age. I was not sure what to do with him, and got up to take him to the door that appeared. He wasn’t letting go, and he stood there forlornly looking at me, not wanting to go through this doorway!
Realizing he was ‘just a child’ in spite of his looks, I felt I had to take control and I opened the door and pushed him into the next room! Closing the door quickly behind him, I told him, “I have to think for a minute!” because I was really not sure what to do next!!
Standing there, I could see through the ‘wall’ into the room, and watched as he took off into the room (again as a young child of 2 or 3), so I opened the door to go in with him. I am astounded to see my OWN two sons in the room (both as young children of ages 3 and 5 – not 25 and 27 as they are today!)
My older son is playing with blocks, laughing as he knocks them down. My younger son is playing quietly off to the side, and this new young boy is hold what looks like a vacuum cleaner!! He’s making ‘vacuum’ noises as he plays with it, and I remember thinking, ‘gee, I should really turn it on and put him to work!’ lol All three boys were playing independently, yet together…that was the feeling. At this point I awaken, and record what I remember.
What is interesting here is that I remember a previous experience where a woman was thanking me for my boys and how much they helped her son when they were younger (see #12 in blog posts). I have no idea if it is the same reference, but I am still very happy to know my boys are helping others as well! (even though they may not know it!)
Sunday, January 25, 2009
93) Link with N.J. Dream?
Hi everyone! Ok, I have had some new experiences lately, and have not had the time to write them up, as I felt they were more 'dream-like' or less interesting than my usual experiences.
However, upon writing them up, I see there can be some interesting aspects that some may have more insight on. So I'm going to share them all!
For a little background, I have been in contact with another OBE'r from another country, one that is five hours ahead of me. He is an ex-Qigong instructor and well versed with energy and chakras. I tell you this because it pertains to aspects within this 'connection' dreams I feel I made with him.
I know some will think I am 'pressing' the 'coincidence' connection a bit, but MY feelings are that I indeed make a connection and just wanted to share. I have only sporatic memories of the 'dream' so this is the best I can recall and it is NOT written as I usually do (with good grammar!) as it is not easy to write about...lol
1.21.09
He was the last crew member from TV series left – felt like Doc McCoy from Star Trek - he was taking over role (?)- had silver suit on- said,”come see this with me” and took this other person with me to a tree where there were two birds on limb - male and female - one with bright orange and white (spike) comb on head - eating something green (beans?), something about Star Trek “I’m Capt Kirk, US Enterprise” is what the bird says but in bird language, their voice.
I said, “Hello ‘Capt Kirk US Enterprise!’” playfully back, then third person comes back to us as we are all done seeing this wonderful event (?), saying “time to take you back to Earth”. We were on a space ship, walking into other room I get feeling we are being ‘captured’? – as I saw something out the side window that maybe was hooking onto us (?), next thing I know the other person with me - he is unconscious with a mask over his face and can’t be aroused. I feel I have this plastic mask being placed over my face, am barely able to breathe, but had a small bit of my lower lip out so I could breathe - trying to get the third person’s attention to help us.
Now half awake with spinning strong right palm - tried to move energy, thinking of N.J. and how he would do it, powered up and moved it, but because too awake - woke completely up.
Key points to link to N.J.:
-Recorder dropped on floor just before bed, I had to search for - reminder to use?
-I don’t usually wake at 12:30 am after only 2 hours sleep (would coincide with N.J.’s waking time)
-Star Trek reference – link to N.J.’s astronomy interest? ( I rarely watched this show!)
-Bright orange/green in tree (reference to his association of himself as tree frog in email we had)
-birds (flying objects?)
-Other one invited me up – N.J. asleep first?
-Mask on my face barely able to breathe = not completely ‘unconscious’ of experience (as other male was) so I am able to ‘talk’ about it?
-Immediate thoughts of N.J. upon awakening with new energy movements he showed me being active
Narration from start of Star Trek series: “Space... the Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before"
Wow, does THIS statement does fit my experiences!!! lol
Thanks for reading and any insights,
Karen
However, upon writing them up, I see there can be some interesting aspects that some may have more insight on. So I'm going to share them all!
For a little background, I have been in contact with another OBE'r from another country, one that is five hours ahead of me. He is an ex-Qigong instructor and well versed with energy and chakras. I tell you this because it pertains to aspects within this 'connection' dreams I feel I made with him.
I know some will think I am 'pressing' the 'coincidence' connection a bit, but MY feelings are that I indeed make a connection and just wanted to share. I have only sporatic memories of the 'dream' so this is the best I can recall and it is NOT written as I usually do (with good grammar!) as it is not easy to write about...lol
1.21.09
He was the last crew member from TV series left – felt like Doc McCoy from Star Trek - he was taking over role (?)- had silver suit on- said,”come see this with me” and took this other person with me to a tree where there were two birds on limb - male and female - one with bright orange and white (spike) comb on head - eating something green (beans?), something about Star Trek “I’m Capt Kirk, US Enterprise” is what the bird says but in bird language, their voice.
I said, “Hello ‘Capt Kirk US Enterprise!’” playfully back, then third person comes back to us as we are all done seeing this wonderful event (?), saying “time to take you back to Earth”. We were on a space ship, walking into other room I get feeling we are being ‘captured’? – as I saw something out the side window that maybe was hooking onto us (?), next thing I know the other person with me - he is unconscious with a mask over his face and can’t be aroused. I feel I have this plastic mask being placed over my face, am barely able to breathe, but had a small bit of my lower lip out so I could breathe - trying to get the third person’s attention to help us.
Now half awake with spinning strong right palm - tried to move energy, thinking of N.J. and how he would do it, powered up and moved it, but because too awake - woke completely up.
Key points to link to N.J.:
-Recorder dropped on floor just before bed, I had to search for - reminder to use?
-I don’t usually wake at 12:30 am after only 2 hours sleep (would coincide with N.J.’s waking time)
-Star Trek reference – link to N.J.’s astronomy interest? ( I rarely watched this show!)
-Bright orange/green in tree (reference to his association of himself as tree frog in email we had)
-birds (flying objects?)
-Other one invited me up – N.J. asleep first?
-Mask on my face barely able to breathe = not completely ‘unconscious’ of experience (as other male was) so I am able to ‘talk’ about it?
-Immediate thoughts of N.J. upon awakening with new energy movements he showed me being active
Narration from start of Star Trek series: “Space... the Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before"
Wow, does THIS statement does fit my experiences!!! lol
Thanks for reading and any insights,
Karen
Saturday, January 17, 2009
92) Lost OBE Opportunity in Vegas
Unsuccessful OBE vs. symbolic dream
Jan 15,2009 Las Vegas Dream (I was on vacation in Vegas!)
My first realization was that I was on this moving train, watching the countryside go by and thinking, “wow, this is just like what I see when I’m OOB!” (Of course, this was my signal that I was OOB, but I just went on enjoying the train ride (!) – as the train was one of my very first signals when I started going OOB) I do remember seeing people that we passed by, including someone shooting a metal bow and arrow at us!
Next memory is of being underwater (!) and seeing this picnic table, thinking, “wow, that’s unusual for someone to put a picnic table underwater!” Again, an anomaly that should have been my signal that I was OOB, but no, did I remember??!?! Lol I remember I was learning how this table was put together, and I was with this small child trying to figure out how it all works! I even see this goldfish swimming by to seal the fact that I am underwater, but I never make the connection that I should question my surroundings! Another lost opportunity….
Next I see a large gas truck on fire (!) in the center of the town where I live. I was helping a female (me?) put the fire out, which I thought we were successful doing, but in looking under the truck I could see a small glow, indicating it may re-light!
I remember I tried to put this small glow out with some sort of odd liquid (soy sauce?) but when the truck started moving, this other female wanted to steer it down the hill out of the center of town to a safe area in case it did explode.
Now I’m standing across the street from this same spot where the truck on fire was, watching this large three story house burning! I felt it belonged to this same female as I met with the truck. It was a mass of flames, and I could see the front door and windows implode, thinking it was unusual that it was imploding instead of exploding outward. I was concerned that I was perhaps standing a little to close (across the street) for safety, as the heat from the flames were going to be intense. I was thinking maybe we should even evacuate the people from the houses around me as well.
_________________________________________________
I know this was a failed OOB, as I didn't pick up on the fact that I was out despite the many signals! However, since it also seems to have a lot of symbolisms I thought I'd share it here. This is what I found online - maybe someone else can help me decipher this more! Thanks in advance...Karen
DREAM SYMBOLISM found at Dreammoods.com (and my comments):
Train
To dream that you are on a train, is symbolic of your life's journey and suggests that you are on the right track in life and headed for the right direction. Alternatively, you have a tendency to worry needlessly over a situation that will prove to work out in the end. (BINGO! That’s me)
Bow And Arrow
To see a bow and arrow in your dream, represents a combination of female and male energies. It may refer to your libido or some sexual energy/desire. Alternatively, it symbolizes anger, aggression, or tension. This dream symbol may also be a metaphor that you are aiming for perfection. (Again, me!)
Metal
To see metal in your dream, signifies strength and character. It may also symbolize the inhumane side of society. Consider the exact type and shape of metal and what you were doing with it. (Hmm, they were shooting me with it! giving me some?)
Water
To see water in your dream, symbolizes your unconscious and your emotional state of mind. Water is the living essence of the psyche and the flow of life energy. It is also symbolic of spirituality, knowledge, healing and refreshment. (It was trying to show me I was within my subconscious – time to get out!! Lol)
Underwater
To dream that you are underwater, suggests that you are feeling overcome with emotions and are in need of greater control in your life. You may be in over your head regarding some situation.
Table
To see a table in your dream, represents social unity and the potential for a meeting or gathering. It refers to your social and family connections. (no idea on this one! )
Goldfish
To see a goldfish in your dream, foretells of wealth and many successful and pleasant adventures. (I’ll take it, but at the time, I felt it just meant as a reinforcement that I was truly underwater)
Fire
Depending on the context of your dream, to see fire in your dream can symbolize destruction, passion, desire, illumination, transformation, enlightenment, or anger. It may suggest that something old is passing and something new is entering into your life. Your thoughts and views are changing. In particular, if the fire is under control or contained in one area, then it is a metaphor of your own internal fire and inner transformation. It also represents your drive and motivation. (could be anything!)
To dream that a house is on fire, indicates that you need to undergo some transformation.
To dream that you put out a fire, signifies that you will overcome your obstacles in your life through much work and effort. (seems like whatever I’m changing to will be successful at least! Lol)
Flame
To see a flame in your dream, symbolizes purification.
To dream that you are fighting flames, signifies that you will need to invest your best efforts and energy in your road to success and wealth. (but it seems this transformations is going to take some work/effort! Lol)
Tanker
To see a tanker in your dream, represents the need to defend yourself and stand up for your beliefs without being confrontational or violent. Alternatively, the tanker may symbolize a threat. (???)
House
To see a house in your dream represents your own soul and self. Specific rooms in the house indicate a specific aspect of your psyche. In general, the attic represents your intellect, the basement represents the unconscious, etc (…and my house was on fire! yikes!)
Jan 15,2009 Las Vegas Dream (I was on vacation in Vegas!)
My first realization was that I was on this moving train, watching the countryside go by and thinking, “wow, this is just like what I see when I’m OOB!” (Of course, this was my signal that I was OOB, but I just went on enjoying the train ride (!) – as the train was one of my very first signals when I started going OOB) I do remember seeing people that we passed by, including someone shooting a metal bow and arrow at us!
Next memory is of being underwater (!) and seeing this picnic table, thinking, “wow, that’s unusual for someone to put a picnic table underwater!” Again, an anomaly that should have been my signal that I was OOB, but no, did I remember??!?! Lol I remember I was learning how this table was put together, and I was with this small child trying to figure out how it all works! I even see this goldfish swimming by to seal the fact that I am underwater, but I never make the connection that I should question my surroundings! Another lost opportunity….
Next I see a large gas truck on fire (!) in the center of the town where I live. I was helping a female (me?) put the fire out, which I thought we were successful doing, but in looking under the truck I could see a small glow, indicating it may re-light!
I remember I tried to put this small glow out with some sort of odd liquid (soy sauce?) but when the truck started moving, this other female wanted to steer it down the hill out of the center of town to a safe area in case it did explode.
Now I’m standing across the street from this same spot where the truck on fire was, watching this large three story house burning! I felt it belonged to this same female as I met with the truck. It was a mass of flames, and I could see the front door and windows implode, thinking it was unusual that it was imploding instead of exploding outward. I was concerned that I was perhaps standing a little to close (across the street) for safety, as the heat from the flames were going to be intense. I was thinking maybe we should even evacuate the people from the houses around me as well.
_________________________________________________
I know this was a failed OOB, as I didn't pick up on the fact that I was out despite the many signals! However, since it also seems to have a lot of symbolisms I thought I'd share it here. This is what I found online - maybe someone else can help me decipher this more! Thanks in advance...Karen
DREAM SYMBOLISM found at Dreammoods.com (and my comments):
Train
To dream that you are on a train, is symbolic of your life's journey and suggests that you are on the right track in life and headed for the right direction. Alternatively, you have a tendency to worry needlessly over a situation that will prove to work out in the end. (BINGO! That’s me)
Bow And Arrow
To see a bow and arrow in your dream, represents a combination of female and male energies. It may refer to your libido or some sexual energy/desire. Alternatively, it symbolizes anger, aggression, or tension. This dream symbol may also be a metaphor that you are aiming for perfection. (Again, me!)
Metal
To see metal in your dream, signifies strength and character. It may also symbolize the inhumane side of society. Consider the exact type and shape of metal and what you were doing with it. (Hmm, they were shooting me with it! giving me some?)
Water
To see water in your dream, symbolizes your unconscious and your emotional state of mind. Water is the living essence of the psyche and the flow of life energy. It is also symbolic of spirituality, knowledge, healing and refreshment. (It was trying to show me I was within my subconscious – time to get out!! Lol)
Underwater
To dream that you are underwater, suggests that you are feeling overcome with emotions and are in need of greater control in your life. You may be in over your head regarding some situation.
Table
To see a table in your dream, represents social unity and the potential for a meeting or gathering. It refers to your social and family connections. (no idea on this one! )
Goldfish
To see a goldfish in your dream, foretells of wealth and many successful and pleasant adventures. (I’ll take it, but at the time, I felt it just meant as a reinforcement that I was truly underwater)
Fire
Depending on the context of your dream, to see fire in your dream can symbolize destruction, passion, desire, illumination, transformation, enlightenment, or anger. It may suggest that something old is passing and something new is entering into your life. Your thoughts and views are changing. In particular, if the fire is under control or contained in one area, then it is a metaphor of your own internal fire and inner transformation. It also represents your drive and motivation. (could be anything!)
To dream that a house is on fire, indicates that you need to undergo some transformation.
To dream that you put out a fire, signifies that you will overcome your obstacles in your life through much work and effort. (seems like whatever I’m changing to will be successful at least! Lol)
Flame
To see a flame in your dream, symbolizes purification.
To dream that you are fighting flames, signifies that you will need to invest your best efforts and energy in your road to success and wealth. (but it seems this transformations is going to take some work/effort! Lol)
Tanker
To see a tanker in your dream, represents the need to defend yourself and stand up for your beliefs without being confrontational or violent. Alternatively, the tanker may symbolize a threat. (???)
House
To see a house in your dream represents your own soul and self. Specific rooms in the house indicate a specific aspect of your psyche. In general, the attic represents your intellect, the basement represents the unconscious, etc (…and my house was on fire! yikes!)
Friday, January 9, 2009
91) Meeting Higher Self; Near Physical to Forget?
1/09/09
First time out I had a very easy exit and remembered immediately that I wanted to go inward to my Higher Self. (I had just read about this interesting aspect of yourself that is in control of what you are here to learn – so I was curious what I’d learn.)
I did a little jump and spin (not even sure if I needed to, but it gets me going!), and found myself in the long black tunnel moving backwards as I have been many times before.
However, after a short time in this dark tunnel, I realized there was someone behind me, as I could ‘see’ an arm to the left of where I was sitting. I grabbed the arm, turned around and asked, “Who is here with me?” I saw that it was this young male with a beautiful smile traveling with me!
I feel he was probably an aspect of my Higher Self, as that is what I asked to do if I got OOB. This male however appeared just a bit different than my other meeting with ‘Richard’ in that I think he had lighter, even reddish tint, to his short hair and a pale, but still handsome and smiling face.
I did ask if his name was Richard, but he just smiled saying something like “it is if you want it to be!” He really didn’t answer yes or no. So I called him Richard because he was the one taking me, and that was the only name I knew (see previous blog post # 78 ).
I was so excited to see I could talk with him and I remember saying, “I have so many questions to ask you!” I remember I had the most wonderful conversation with him, asking him many questions and receiving many answers!
The only question I remember asking is, “How come I can’t see?” when we arrived at our destination. Although I could see him, I couldn’t see my surroundings at all, just darkness. The feeling I got for an answer was that I was using what I know, using too much of my physical senses, and trying too hard to see with my physical eyes (or something like that). Once I realized what he meant and ‘let go’, I was able to see fully where I was!
Unfortunately, due to circumstances I believe were planned in advance (read on), I have NO idea where I was, what I saw, or even what we talked about! So frustrating!
In hindsight, I believe what I experienced next was a way of having me forget what I learned! I understand that perhaps it is not the time for me to know this information at this point in my growth and development here in the physical, so I have to be patient and just trust that all is as it should be.
What did happen next was quite confusing at first. I remember being SO excited as the ‘pull back’ transition to consciousness was happening, thinking I wanted to get all this wonderful information recorded quickly! I reached for my recorder, started recording but then realized my recorder was in pieces!!
Now, I have had this ‘false awakening’ happen enough times before that I was able to remember (finally!) that it probably was NOT “really” broken, but another false awakening! So I reached over to where I KNOW I put my recorder, (rolled up in my sleeve) but then was SO surprised to suddenly feel like I rolled right off the couch!!
I’m thinking, ”What is this? Why am I on the floor?” I stand up and wonder, ‘am I really awake and standing or am I OOB?’ I am so confused, but I have to figure out what’s going on, so I start moving toward the front door. (I should have realized that the fact that I had to question it should have confirmed the idea I was truly out, but no…I just continued on!)
I felt so close to physical, I was confused and then I actually felt my foot hit something in the room as I move! This ‘feeling’ just added to my confusion! (This may have been to try to convince me I was ‘really’ awake.)
At the door, I say, “Well I’m just going to take a chance and try moving through the door to the outdoors (again knowing I’ll either pass through it or get a nice bump on the head! lol)
I ‘dive’ through the front door, with an elated sense of satisfaction when I realize I’m AM passing through it! I knew it! (I was right to just continue on without stopping!)
However, now I’m passing through the door, head first (that was new!) and going at such a slow glacial pace that I’m wondering what is going on?! I moved so slowly, almost as though I’m feeling every single atom and molecule!
As I finally get completely through and stand on my front step, I am absolutely awed by the beauty of my front yard!! It was almost as if it ‘opened up’ to reveal an immense field of beauty and depth. I looked up into the most spectacular sky, one that seemed to ‘move’ into infinity! I could see the blue sky as it changed into outer space with stars and planets then entire universes! It was utterly amazing to see! I felt so swept up with being a part of it all!
Realizing I still need to take advantage of being out, I move up into the yard, floating to the trees once again to feel the leaves (to be certain I can) and the joyous freedom of movement I have! I remember thinking, ‘oh, I miss this SO MUCH!’
As I look beyond the hill, I see what appeared to be fireworks shooting off, and I’m pleased to think that they were set off for my benefit! (I guess it seemed to fit my emotional reaction – so that was my thought! Lol)
However, as I moved up the hill out of my front yard and closer to the fireworks, I became aware of some sort of transition. I could see adults on the hillside below me and children running through the field toward the fireworks.
Now, I get a sense of foreboding, as I also see these explosions are no longer fireworks, but have the appearance of ominous artillery firing and bombs exploding! I fear for the children who are getting closer to them so I try to warn the adults to go gather the children! I move down and take one child back to the parents and see that the others are being collected by their parents. There does not seem to be any fear here, however.
Not wanting to stay in this area, I move back to the safety of my own yard and see my usual road at the end of the driveway. Feeling like I’m in familiar territory once again, I move down the driveway to the road. Along this country road, I do a little flip, float backwards, and then see a car traveling below me. I waved hello to them but without any response. As I turned back, I saw the corner of my usual road turn into an intersection that was vaguely familiar.
I was now above a city-type street, one that had many roads converging into it. The next I know I’m inside this building, moving down a hallway past many rooms or areas. I know I have been here before as it has a very familiar feeling to it. The words “Circuit City” came to my mind, but I have not idea what the connection is.
As I go past this one area where there are displays and shelves, I wave to a familiar smiling man who is inside, waving back. I move to the next area where there are children playing on some toys, yet I stay in the hall area without interacting, just looking into these individual rooms.
At the end, I move into this one room with a few young men inside with tables/displays of some sort. They were working there, and I move up to this one young male and starting talking quite flirtatiously with him! I remember saying, “did anyone ever tell you that you were quite cute?” and such…all the time, feeling like this is something this young man needs for his self-image and outlook.
He was quite shy, and I saw ‘through him’ at one point that he had a very jaundiced sickly look to his face. I realized he must have had some sort of liver disease that may have contributed to his lack of positive self-image. I remember thinking that my actions were not for MY needs, but that it was something this young man desperately needed. I transitioned to full wakefulness at this point, trying to recall so many of these details!
I had the feeling that this second experience was probably a way of having me forget what I learned in the first experience with Richard/Higher Self. I KNOW I received so many answers that I was looking for, because I can remember that I was SO excited to start recording that experience when I noticed my broken recorder (which really it wasn’t!!). By creating an immediate confusing transition and having a more involved second part, I would then want to try to remember all those other details and forget what we talked about!
This was a very interesting OBE, as I can see that I have learned some level of ‘knowing’ when it is a false awakening (broken recorder), yet I still have difficulty when I am close to physical in knowing I’m OOB. Thankfully, I don’t stop and question my situation, and that helps.
Being with my guide/Higher Self was extremely powerful, as I still feel that excitement and emotion that persists after my visit. I only wish I had some of the answers that I know I received from him!
First time out I had a very easy exit and remembered immediately that I wanted to go inward to my Higher Self. (I had just read about this interesting aspect of yourself that is in control of what you are here to learn – so I was curious what I’d learn.)
I did a little jump and spin (not even sure if I needed to, but it gets me going!), and found myself in the long black tunnel moving backwards as I have been many times before.
However, after a short time in this dark tunnel, I realized there was someone behind me, as I could ‘see’ an arm to the left of where I was sitting. I grabbed the arm, turned around and asked, “Who is here with me?” I saw that it was this young male with a beautiful smile traveling with me!
I feel he was probably an aspect of my Higher Self, as that is what I asked to do if I got OOB. This male however appeared just a bit different than my other meeting with ‘Richard’ in that I think he had lighter, even reddish tint, to his short hair and a pale, but still handsome and smiling face.
I did ask if his name was Richard, but he just smiled saying something like “it is if you want it to be!” He really didn’t answer yes or no. So I called him Richard because he was the one taking me, and that was the only name I knew (see previous blog post # 78 ).
I was so excited to see I could talk with him and I remember saying, “I have so many questions to ask you!” I remember I had the most wonderful conversation with him, asking him many questions and receiving many answers!
The only question I remember asking is, “How come I can’t see?” when we arrived at our destination. Although I could see him, I couldn’t see my surroundings at all, just darkness. The feeling I got for an answer was that I was using what I know, using too much of my physical senses, and trying too hard to see with my physical eyes (or something like that). Once I realized what he meant and ‘let go’, I was able to see fully where I was!
Unfortunately, due to circumstances I believe were planned in advance (read on), I have NO idea where I was, what I saw, or even what we talked about! So frustrating!
In hindsight, I believe what I experienced next was a way of having me forget what I learned! I understand that perhaps it is not the time for me to know this information at this point in my growth and development here in the physical, so I have to be patient and just trust that all is as it should be.
What did happen next was quite confusing at first. I remember being SO excited as the ‘pull back’ transition to consciousness was happening, thinking I wanted to get all this wonderful information recorded quickly! I reached for my recorder, started recording but then realized my recorder was in pieces!!
Now, I have had this ‘false awakening’ happen enough times before that I was able to remember (finally!) that it probably was NOT “really” broken, but another false awakening! So I reached over to where I KNOW I put my recorder, (rolled up in my sleeve) but then was SO surprised to suddenly feel like I rolled right off the couch!!
I’m thinking, ”What is this? Why am I on the floor?” I stand up and wonder, ‘am I really awake and standing or am I OOB?’ I am so confused, but I have to figure out what’s going on, so I start moving toward the front door. (I should have realized that the fact that I had to question it should have confirmed the idea I was truly out, but no…I just continued on!)
I felt so close to physical, I was confused and then I actually felt my foot hit something in the room as I move! This ‘feeling’ just added to my confusion! (This may have been to try to convince me I was ‘really’ awake.)
At the door, I say, “Well I’m just going to take a chance and try moving through the door to the outdoors (again knowing I’ll either pass through it or get a nice bump on the head! lol)
I ‘dive’ through the front door, with an elated sense of satisfaction when I realize I’m AM passing through it! I knew it! (I was right to just continue on without stopping!)
However, now I’m passing through the door, head first (that was new!) and going at such a slow glacial pace that I’m wondering what is going on?! I moved so slowly, almost as though I’m feeling every single atom and molecule!
As I finally get completely through and stand on my front step, I am absolutely awed by the beauty of my front yard!! It was almost as if it ‘opened up’ to reveal an immense field of beauty and depth. I looked up into the most spectacular sky, one that seemed to ‘move’ into infinity! I could see the blue sky as it changed into outer space with stars and planets then entire universes! It was utterly amazing to see! I felt so swept up with being a part of it all!
Realizing I still need to take advantage of being out, I move up into the yard, floating to the trees once again to feel the leaves (to be certain I can) and the joyous freedom of movement I have! I remember thinking, ‘oh, I miss this SO MUCH!’
As I look beyond the hill, I see what appeared to be fireworks shooting off, and I’m pleased to think that they were set off for my benefit! (I guess it seemed to fit my emotional reaction – so that was my thought! Lol)
However, as I moved up the hill out of my front yard and closer to the fireworks, I became aware of some sort of transition. I could see adults on the hillside below me and children running through the field toward the fireworks.
Now, I get a sense of foreboding, as I also see these explosions are no longer fireworks, but have the appearance of ominous artillery firing and bombs exploding! I fear for the children who are getting closer to them so I try to warn the adults to go gather the children! I move down and take one child back to the parents and see that the others are being collected by their parents. There does not seem to be any fear here, however.
Not wanting to stay in this area, I move back to the safety of my own yard and see my usual road at the end of the driveway. Feeling like I’m in familiar territory once again, I move down the driveway to the road. Along this country road, I do a little flip, float backwards, and then see a car traveling below me. I waved hello to them but without any response. As I turned back, I saw the corner of my usual road turn into an intersection that was vaguely familiar.
I was now above a city-type street, one that had many roads converging into it. The next I know I’m inside this building, moving down a hallway past many rooms or areas. I know I have been here before as it has a very familiar feeling to it. The words “Circuit City” came to my mind, but I have not idea what the connection is.
As I go past this one area where there are displays and shelves, I wave to a familiar smiling man who is inside, waving back. I move to the next area where there are children playing on some toys, yet I stay in the hall area without interacting, just looking into these individual rooms.
At the end, I move into this one room with a few young men inside with tables/displays of some sort. They were working there, and I move up to this one young male and starting talking quite flirtatiously with him! I remember saying, “did anyone ever tell you that you were quite cute?” and such…all the time, feeling like this is something this young man needs for his self-image and outlook.
He was quite shy, and I saw ‘through him’ at one point that he had a very jaundiced sickly look to his face. I realized he must have had some sort of liver disease that may have contributed to his lack of positive self-image. I remember thinking that my actions were not for MY needs, but that it was something this young man desperately needed. I transitioned to full wakefulness at this point, trying to recall so many of these details!
I had the feeling that this second experience was probably a way of having me forget what I learned in the first experience with Richard/Higher Self. I KNOW I received so many answers that I was looking for, because I can remember that I was SO excited to start recording that experience when I noticed my broken recorder (which really it wasn’t!!). By creating an immediate confusing transition and having a more involved second part, I would then want to try to remember all those other details and forget what we talked about!
This was a very interesting OBE, as I can see that I have learned some level of ‘knowing’ when it is a false awakening (broken recorder), yet I still have difficulty when I am close to physical in knowing I’m OOB. Thankfully, I don’t stop and question my situation, and that helps.
Being with my guide/Higher Self was extremely powerful, as I still feel that excitement and emotion that persists after my visit. I only wish I had some of the answers that I know I received from him!
Monday, January 5, 2009
90) Rooms of People; Inside a Child; Why Inward Better
1/05/09
My first recollection is that I could clearly see numbers/letters on a piece of paper while lying on the couch. There were two sets four (61dl r???) and because it felt like ‘astral vision’ it made me aware of being in altered state. I can see I have a piece of paper in my hand and am writing these numbers down (as I used to do before my recorder!) when someone in the house (my husband?) came to me to see what I was writing because they knew I traveled from here and wanted to know what I was up to.
This person then walked to the kitchen and I became aware of my ‘exit signal’- my right leg rising up! I remember thinking (since I wasn’t sure this wasn’t all “real”), that I’d wait for it to rise up high enough that I knew I couldn’t possibly do that in real life!! lol Sure enough, it went clear over my head, and after a few seconds hesitation (because I thought someone was nearby), I just said, ‘heck with them, I’m outta here!’
I rolled out off couch, stood next to fireplace, and remember looking to see if I could tell who it was in the kitchen.
Not wanting to dwell on that issue, I quickly remembered I had set the intention to go see the rings on Saturn as a goal if OOB. With this thought, I immediately zoomed straight up through ceiling to blackness. I could feel the moving sensations, a slight shaking and intensity of feelings (energy sensations?) as I continued on for a very long time!
It was long enough to think ‘let’s try something!’, so I put my arms out in Superman pose, then to the sides, then thought, ‘I’ll be different this time and lie on my back as I move!’ Still feeling this movement through blackness, I thought I’d try rolling over to put my feet first, which I did!
This shows how long I ‘felt’ to be in this moving blackness, and even had the time to think, ‘well if I wanted it to be a shorter trip, all I have to do is expect to be there!’
At that point, I slowed as I see I’m moving through various rooms below me. It was dark in the rooms, as if a movie theatre, as there were small ‘lights’ lining the room near the ceiling where I was. All these people were below me in the room, and upon reaching the front, still up high, I very clearly see two (three?) women come up from below, exuberantly saying “Hi! Hello! Welcome! SO nice to meet you!”
They were SO happy to see me, and I then realized the entire crowd below me was saying “hello and welcome!” I was a bit taken aback with the clarity of their features and their overwhelming need to get my attention. (I did not feel these were ‘higher entities’ but others who existed in this “belief system” below.)
I moved onto another room without further interaction and saw this room had chairs lined up as if in a classroom. It was no longer dark, and there were men scattered about seated in these chairs. I felt as though it was a ‘math/numbers’ type lecture they were having, however upon my arrival, their interest turned to me. I was caught up in their curiosity and found myself down at their level, being pushed and pulled uncomfortably. I immediately said “that’s enough!”, and found myself into another dark room.
This one was a theatre, as I could see they were watching a movie screen. I asked one what was playing, and he answered something to the effect, “10000 Leagues Under the Sea(?)” but he explained it was all about how the afterlife works. He told me that everything is really SO much simpler than how it is portrayed in our movies – that we add so much gore and emotion to it.
I started fading back at this point and used my key word associations to recall these details as best I could. I still feel more information was given to me, however, it was in ‘feelings’ and very difficult to put into words.
The next sequence of events starts with a dream type experience where I was once again in college and concerned about the loss of my Math notebook and therefore my Math class, scheduled for 4th period. I distinctly recall I had no difficulty with the first 3 classes, and now that it was time for Math, I had no idea where my notebook was nor where the class was to be held! I then realized that may have been because I had ‘dropped’ this class due to not getting the grades that I felt were adequate enough, so therefore there was no 4th period to go to!
At this point, I remember I’m on a couch, but it appeared to be in someone else’s house! There were two women there, one left the room to change (?), but the other I remember standing nearby in this ridiculous exercise outfit with such hairy legs!! LOL That was enough for me to realize that I’m once again in an altered state, and realize my own legs are rising again!
This time, before I could roll out, I find this small ‘energy ball entity’ moving about all over my body, as if annoyingly playful. This ‘ball’ is telling me things like, ‘you really shouldn’t be traveling all about’ , ‘it’s not safe’, and ‘you really don’t need to be traveling’…(the feeling associated with it was as if it was a bit of a nuisance, but in a playful way).
I politely responded with “yes, but I like to travel, that’s how I learn! It teaches me things!” It continued to playfully annoy me for a bit longer, and when I had enough I just said, ‘that’s ok’ and intentionally sent it love…and saw that it completely disappeared!
Now I’m trying to get my leg to rise again, but the astral vision kicks in again. I clearly see someone’s bedroom – a bed with a flat thin medium brown solid headboard, quilt-like bedcovering with curved images on it (patchwork type circles?) and a dresser next to it. The bed was empty, and no one was around and I fade to wakefulness.
The last recall I have is that I am on a small bus (school?) on a country lane, and looking out the back window, can see two cows running after the bus! (I have to say here that there was a lot more going on that I was not able to recall).
I knew I was ‘out’ and having set the intention of using ‘Inward Now!’ (since my travel to Saturn didn’t work out!), I picked my feet up and attempted to spin. I spun in place, and as I did, I could hear voices talking (the words were fuzzy as if on a loudspeaker) but am not able to remember what they said! I do recall that the spinning continued until I actually felt queasy!
When the spinning stopped, I’m back on this bus with children, and see three young boys (ages 12-14?) in the seat in front of me turning back to talk to me. There is a girl sitting to the left of me. Now I feel as though I am ‘inside’ the body of a child in this bus, and can feel very concerned that I may say or do the wrong thing. I just stayed very still, not moving, and I could see that they were looking at me, watching something that I had with me. They were talking to me, but I felt I could not interact because I was ‘not really that person’. I recorded the fact that I thought they used the word ‘terrorist’(?).
Next recall is that I am trying to get something recorded, and had difficulty with my vision while I was fumbling for the buttons. (At the time I thought it could have been due to the fact that I was in ‘both worlds’ and trying to physically move while maintaining the altered mindstate.)
I don’t know what I was talking about on the recording, but I understood it at the time. Now, I hear the alarm clock going off in my son’s room, and realize that I was NOT recording and was going to lose everything! I attempted to stay in that mind frame to pull out any details, but since I was awakened so quickly with the alarm, I actually felt uncomfortable being both ‘in and out’. Once again, SO much was lost upon full awakening.
The one thing I find with my experiences lately is this ability to stay both ‘in and out’, or at least the feeling that I am still ‘out there’ yet able to physically know I am here. It’s a bit uncomfortable at times, and it causes much confusion as to what is ‘real’!
Also, I wanted to explain an insight that I seemed to intuitively understand a bit better, but am not sure I can put into words. When I wanted to go to Saturn, that was fine, but it was more for the physical world learning than for my ‘self’.
When I attempt to go ‘inward’, I now know that it will be far better for my own learning as I would be traveling within my own ‘planes/levels’ and more toward the ‘true’ aspects of reality. It just seems more ‘correct’ now for me to stop attempting to go places that only satisfy my ‘physical reality’ senses, and seek the inward levels of existence that is a part of ‘me’, which is also a part of ‘true’ reality.
My first recollection is that I could clearly see numbers/letters on a piece of paper while lying on the couch. There were two sets four (61dl r???) and because it felt like ‘astral vision’ it made me aware of being in altered state. I can see I have a piece of paper in my hand and am writing these numbers down (as I used to do before my recorder!) when someone in the house (my husband?) came to me to see what I was writing because they knew I traveled from here and wanted to know what I was up to.
This person then walked to the kitchen and I became aware of my ‘exit signal’- my right leg rising up! I remember thinking (since I wasn’t sure this wasn’t all “real”), that I’d wait for it to rise up high enough that I knew I couldn’t possibly do that in real life!! lol Sure enough, it went clear over my head, and after a few seconds hesitation (because I thought someone was nearby), I just said, ‘heck with them, I’m outta here!’
I rolled out off couch, stood next to fireplace, and remember looking to see if I could tell who it was in the kitchen.
Not wanting to dwell on that issue, I quickly remembered I had set the intention to go see the rings on Saturn as a goal if OOB. With this thought, I immediately zoomed straight up through ceiling to blackness. I could feel the moving sensations, a slight shaking and intensity of feelings (energy sensations?) as I continued on for a very long time!
It was long enough to think ‘let’s try something!’, so I put my arms out in Superman pose, then to the sides, then thought, ‘I’ll be different this time and lie on my back as I move!’ Still feeling this movement through blackness, I thought I’d try rolling over to put my feet first, which I did!
This shows how long I ‘felt’ to be in this moving blackness, and even had the time to think, ‘well if I wanted it to be a shorter trip, all I have to do is expect to be there!’
At that point, I slowed as I see I’m moving through various rooms below me. It was dark in the rooms, as if a movie theatre, as there were small ‘lights’ lining the room near the ceiling where I was. All these people were below me in the room, and upon reaching the front, still up high, I very clearly see two (three?) women come up from below, exuberantly saying “Hi! Hello! Welcome! SO nice to meet you!”
They were SO happy to see me, and I then realized the entire crowd below me was saying “hello and welcome!” I was a bit taken aback with the clarity of their features and their overwhelming need to get my attention. (I did not feel these were ‘higher entities’ but others who existed in this “belief system” below.)
I moved onto another room without further interaction and saw this room had chairs lined up as if in a classroom. It was no longer dark, and there were men scattered about seated in these chairs. I felt as though it was a ‘math/numbers’ type lecture they were having, however upon my arrival, their interest turned to me. I was caught up in their curiosity and found myself down at their level, being pushed and pulled uncomfortably. I immediately said “that’s enough!”, and found myself into another dark room.
This one was a theatre, as I could see they were watching a movie screen. I asked one what was playing, and he answered something to the effect, “10000 Leagues Under the Sea(?)” but he explained it was all about how the afterlife works. He told me that everything is really SO much simpler than how it is portrayed in our movies – that we add so much gore and emotion to it.
I started fading back at this point and used my key word associations to recall these details as best I could. I still feel more information was given to me, however, it was in ‘feelings’ and very difficult to put into words.
The next sequence of events starts with a dream type experience where I was once again in college and concerned about the loss of my Math notebook and therefore my Math class, scheduled for 4th period. I distinctly recall I had no difficulty with the first 3 classes, and now that it was time for Math, I had no idea where my notebook was nor where the class was to be held! I then realized that may have been because I had ‘dropped’ this class due to not getting the grades that I felt were adequate enough, so therefore there was no 4th period to go to!
At this point, I remember I’m on a couch, but it appeared to be in someone else’s house! There were two women there, one left the room to change (?), but the other I remember standing nearby in this ridiculous exercise outfit with such hairy legs!! LOL That was enough for me to realize that I’m once again in an altered state, and realize my own legs are rising again!
This time, before I could roll out, I find this small ‘energy ball entity’ moving about all over my body, as if annoyingly playful. This ‘ball’ is telling me things like, ‘you really shouldn’t be traveling all about’ , ‘it’s not safe’, and ‘you really don’t need to be traveling’…(the feeling associated with it was as if it was a bit of a nuisance, but in a playful way).
I politely responded with “yes, but I like to travel, that’s how I learn! It teaches me things!” It continued to playfully annoy me for a bit longer, and when I had enough I just said, ‘that’s ok’ and intentionally sent it love…and saw that it completely disappeared!
Now I’m trying to get my leg to rise again, but the astral vision kicks in again. I clearly see someone’s bedroom – a bed with a flat thin medium brown solid headboard, quilt-like bedcovering with curved images on it (patchwork type circles?) and a dresser next to it. The bed was empty, and no one was around and I fade to wakefulness.
The last recall I have is that I am on a small bus (school?) on a country lane, and looking out the back window, can see two cows running after the bus! (I have to say here that there was a lot more going on that I was not able to recall).
I knew I was ‘out’ and having set the intention of using ‘Inward Now!’ (since my travel to Saturn didn’t work out!), I picked my feet up and attempted to spin. I spun in place, and as I did, I could hear voices talking (the words were fuzzy as if on a loudspeaker) but am not able to remember what they said! I do recall that the spinning continued until I actually felt queasy!
When the spinning stopped, I’m back on this bus with children, and see three young boys (ages 12-14?) in the seat in front of me turning back to talk to me. There is a girl sitting to the left of me. Now I feel as though I am ‘inside’ the body of a child in this bus, and can feel very concerned that I may say or do the wrong thing. I just stayed very still, not moving, and I could see that they were looking at me, watching something that I had with me. They were talking to me, but I felt I could not interact because I was ‘not really that person’. I recorded the fact that I thought they used the word ‘terrorist’(?).
Next recall is that I am trying to get something recorded, and had difficulty with my vision while I was fumbling for the buttons. (At the time I thought it could have been due to the fact that I was in ‘both worlds’ and trying to physically move while maintaining the altered mindstate.)
I don’t know what I was talking about on the recording, but I understood it at the time. Now, I hear the alarm clock going off in my son’s room, and realize that I was NOT recording and was going to lose everything! I attempted to stay in that mind frame to pull out any details, but since I was awakened so quickly with the alarm, I actually felt uncomfortable being both ‘in and out’. Once again, SO much was lost upon full awakening.
The one thing I find with my experiences lately is this ability to stay both ‘in and out’, or at least the feeling that I am still ‘out there’ yet able to physically know I am here. It’s a bit uncomfortable at times, and it causes much confusion as to what is ‘real’!
Also, I wanted to explain an insight that I seemed to intuitively understand a bit better, but am not sure I can put into words. When I wanted to go to Saturn, that was fine, but it was more for the physical world learning than for my ‘self’.
When I attempt to go ‘inward’, I now know that it will be far better for my own learning as I would be traveling within my own ‘planes/levels’ and more toward the ‘true’ aspects of reality. It just seems more ‘correct’ now for me to stop attempting to go places that only satisfy my ‘physical reality’ senses, and seek the inward levels of existence that is a part of ‘me’, which is also a part of ‘true’ reality.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
89) Clarity, Textures, and Limited Recall
12/25/08
I am writing this experience for the blog, but honestly, am not sure why! This was the first time that I did SO much in one night that I was not able to record it all in a way that I could recall enough details to share! This may even have been a collection of both OBE’s and lucid dreams.
These are the few details I can remember, but by no means, is it even a fraction of what I did! I can only say the feeling I am left with upon waking this am was that I was everywhere and doing everything!!
I do remember my first OOB separation last night because of the extreme clarity I had. At some point, I just ‘knew’ I could get up and move out, yet I don’t recall what my signal was. As I moved to the front door, I remember thinking how clear it all was - my thinking, my vision, everything about the separation - that it caused me to think perhaps I wasn’t really OOB!
As I approached the front door, it’s funny how I do remember my thoughts as, “well, if I’m not OOB, then I’m in for rude awakening as I slam into the front door!” I somehow knew that just the confusion of whether I was truly OOB or not was generally enough to just ‘go with it’ and try to walk through the door! Of course, despite the clarity of thought and vision as if I was completely wide awake, in fact I was OOB and can even remember the texture change as I passed through the door to the outside! (This clear awareness and confusion as to whether OOB or ‘real life’ I think is a major reason many people do not think they are OOB – it feels just the same!)
Unfortunately, once out, that is where my recollection is limited, except for the fact that I know I met many people in many different places. Initially, I remember just ‘exploring’ again, feeling the texture changes as I floated through the trees, down to the ground and placing my arms into the earth, and in general, just having fun!
Another time, I remember seeing my dog Buddy accompany me, as he just glided off the porch to catch up with me! There was another scene where I vaguely remember other dogs (2-3 of them) and Buddy around me, yet these other dogs were nipping at my hands and feet! I recall the ‘tingly’ sensation as they ‘bit’ my hands and feet – all the time knowing I couldn’t be hurt, but reveled in the fact that there was a noted ‘sensation’ as they tried to bite!
Another time I recall ‘waking’ to my husband coming down the stairs, yet knew that I had to remain still as this is frequently a false awakening (which it was again!) I remember hearing the sound of radios playing, another common signal that I am not really awake, and need to remain quiet to see what happens next! Of course, more did happen, but all I know is that I thought I was recording as much as I could on my recorder, trying to recall details, and then fully awakening a short time later to see that I did NOT record anything! All the details were lost!
The only other small memories I recall was that I was inside this old building (tower-like with a Chicago feeling) and while exploring, heard something above me. I knew I could just pass through the ceiling to get there, so I did! As I floated up, I was actually INSIDE the metal structure of the building, astonished at the intricate detail and scrollwork of the metal framing! At one of the top floors, I was directed to a doorway where other people were entering and heading for a ‘magic show’ of some type. I entered, and sat down with others to watch the show, and recall there was something at this table just for me…but what I don’t know!
The last small recollection I had was that I was at a college and going to my classes with a group of other people. While there, I was fine, attending class as usual, as long as I stayed with my group. However, I became separated from them and no longer knew where to go on this big campus to get to class! I remember asking someone, ‘why don’t they have maps for people to use at this college?’ and then realized having a map would not help me anyway because I didn’t even have my schedule of classes that would tell me where to go!
I am sorry I don’t have more to share this time, however, perhaps someone somewhere can learn something from these experiences.
I am writing this experience for the blog, but honestly, am not sure why! This was the first time that I did SO much in one night that I was not able to record it all in a way that I could recall enough details to share! This may even have been a collection of both OBE’s and lucid dreams.
These are the few details I can remember, but by no means, is it even a fraction of what I did! I can only say the feeling I am left with upon waking this am was that I was everywhere and doing everything!!
I do remember my first OOB separation last night because of the extreme clarity I had. At some point, I just ‘knew’ I could get up and move out, yet I don’t recall what my signal was. As I moved to the front door, I remember thinking how clear it all was - my thinking, my vision, everything about the separation - that it caused me to think perhaps I wasn’t really OOB!
As I approached the front door, it’s funny how I do remember my thoughts as, “well, if I’m not OOB, then I’m in for rude awakening as I slam into the front door!” I somehow knew that just the confusion of whether I was truly OOB or not was generally enough to just ‘go with it’ and try to walk through the door! Of course, despite the clarity of thought and vision as if I was completely wide awake, in fact I was OOB and can even remember the texture change as I passed through the door to the outside! (This clear awareness and confusion as to whether OOB or ‘real life’ I think is a major reason many people do not think they are OOB – it feels just the same!)
Unfortunately, once out, that is where my recollection is limited, except for the fact that I know I met many people in many different places. Initially, I remember just ‘exploring’ again, feeling the texture changes as I floated through the trees, down to the ground and placing my arms into the earth, and in general, just having fun!
Another time, I remember seeing my dog Buddy accompany me, as he just glided off the porch to catch up with me! There was another scene where I vaguely remember other dogs (2-3 of them) and Buddy around me, yet these other dogs were nipping at my hands and feet! I recall the ‘tingly’ sensation as they ‘bit’ my hands and feet – all the time knowing I couldn’t be hurt, but reveled in the fact that there was a noted ‘sensation’ as they tried to bite!
Another time I recall ‘waking’ to my husband coming down the stairs, yet knew that I had to remain still as this is frequently a false awakening (which it was again!) I remember hearing the sound of radios playing, another common signal that I am not really awake, and need to remain quiet to see what happens next! Of course, more did happen, but all I know is that I thought I was recording as much as I could on my recorder, trying to recall details, and then fully awakening a short time later to see that I did NOT record anything! All the details were lost!
The only other small memories I recall was that I was inside this old building (tower-like with a Chicago feeling) and while exploring, heard something above me. I knew I could just pass through the ceiling to get there, so I did! As I floated up, I was actually INSIDE the metal structure of the building, astonished at the intricate detail and scrollwork of the metal framing! At one of the top floors, I was directed to a doorway where other people were entering and heading for a ‘magic show’ of some type. I entered, and sat down with others to watch the show, and recall there was something at this table just for me…but what I don’t know!
The last small recollection I had was that I was at a college and going to my classes with a group of other people. While there, I was fine, attending class as usual, as long as I stayed with my group. However, I became separated from them and no longer knew where to go on this big campus to get to class! I remember asking someone, ‘why don’t they have maps for people to use at this college?’ and then realized having a map would not help me anyway because I didn’t even have my schedule of classes that would tell me where to go!
I am sorry I don’t have more to share this time, however, perhaps someone somewhere can learn something from these experiences.
Monday, December 15, 2008
88) Facing Fear
12/14/08
I went to bed with the intention of attempting to get OOB and visiting JP should I have the opportunity. Additionally, in looking at the beautiful full moon, I remember thinking just prior to sleep that I wondered what the moon would look like from an OOB perspective. It was a casual thought, and not one that I would call a definite intention, but as you will see, I did remember it!
The first exit I recall was very easy at first, as I became aware of the tingling vibrations that told me I was ready. Immediately my feet started floating up, and so I just climbed out and started moving away to the side door. However, things were very dark and there was the heaviness and pulling sensations I had to fight against. I remember stating ‘clarity now!’ at least twice, and with emotion, but found nothing helped. Before I could even get out the door, I was back in body.
The second exit shortly thereafter also was easy, again with the tingling vibrations and feet floating signal. This time I just stood up and decided to take a different exit from the room – out the window that was on the wall next to the couch above my head.
I knew I could just ‘push’ through the wall, and wanted to make the most of this exit, so I decided to very slowly pass through the wall to the outdoors. I was able to take note of the varying textures as I passed through, and was surprised to see/feel that ‘space’ that is between the inner and outer walls. (Of course there is one in hindsight, but at the time, I didn’t realize it was there but sure felt the difference!)
I stopped half way out as I exited the wall, and turned back to look up at the roof and eaves. I can still ‘picture’ in my mind exactly what it looks like to see the house at this angle, something I would not be able to do in real life!
I turned back and jumped to the ground, again noting a slight difference in its appearance, as flowers were growing next to the house yet there is none there in real life. It was dark inside the house, yet my vision was clear as soon as I exited.
I turned the corner of the house to head for the front yard, and remembered I wanted to see the moon while OOB. I looked up, and sure enough, there it was – but it was not as clear as earlier and seemed to be cloud-covered or very distant.
I then remembered I wanted to go visit JP, but I was suddenly and surprisingly ‘attacked’ by something unusual. I remember seeing a very fleeting image of a white flash of ‘something’ come at me from my right side and could feel it attach itself to my right shoulder. I could hear this spine-chilling continuous “ahhhh” sound right at my right ear on the shoulder, and felt a light vibrating ‘physical’ sensation as well.
I immediately felt a small degree of fear, as this ‘thing’ was uncomfortable and unsettling. The guttural sound it made was continuous and monotone and I attempted to just press forward without giving it any thought. I was trying to keep my fear to a bare minimum as I totally knew whatever it was couldn’t hurt me. (I really don’t know where I get this courage from OOB, because even thinking about it now makes me a bit unsettled!! lol)
The sound/vibration stayed with me as I walked forward and I think I was about to become too fearful to stay OOB when I ‘heard’ the words, “send it love…..send it love”. I remembered talking with others who deal with negativity by facing it and embracing it (thanks Sam!), so I tried initially to ‘think’ of sending love- however, there was no change.
Once again I ‘heard’ the words, “send it love!” and this time without hesitation I turn to face the ‘thing’ with the intention of fully embracing and loving whatever it was….and it disappeared!
I realized I’m fading back to more awareness so now I’m trying to recall the details and talking to myself to impress the memories into my consciousness. This makes me think I’m recording the experience already, yet when I do awaken fully, I realize I have nothing recorded and still have to work hard to recall some of the details! I may have forgotten some minor aspects, but this is the best I could recall.
I am not sure what exactly this ‘thing’ was – it could have been just a ‘fear thought form’ that surfaced suddenly or may even have been something to do with the fact that there IS a 1700-1900 cemetery on that side of the house that I was walking past while OOB! I did not get a good visual on its appearance other than the white flash.
As I listen to my recordings now, I find I did get out a third time last night, however, my sleepy voice on the recorder only keeps repeating the same words, “it’s a learning situation” because whoever I was with the third time was impressing upon me that ‘it was only a learning situation’. The only other words I recorded were “it doesn’t help”….and “a long time spent learning”…..so, for this final OBE, I haven’t a clue what I was doing! lol
I went to bed with the intention of attempting to get OOB and visiting JP should I have the opportunity. Additionally, in looking at the beautiful full moon, I remember thinking just prior to sleep that I wondered what the moon would look like from an OOB perspective. It was a casual thought, and not one that I would call a definite intention, but as you will see, I did remember it!
The first exit I recall was very easy at first, as I became aware of the tingling vibrations that told me I was ready. Immediately my feet started floating up, and so I just climbed out and started moving away to the side door. However, things were very dark and there was the heaviness and pulling sensations I had to fight against. I remember stating ‘clarity now!’ at least twice, and with emotion, but found nothing helped. Before I could even get out the door, I was back in body.
The second exit shortly thereafter also was easy, again with the tingling vibrations and feet floating signal. This time I just stood up and decided to take a different exit from the room – out the window that was on the wall next to the couch above my head.
I knew I could just ‘push’ through the wall, and wanted to make the most of this exit, so I decided to very slowly pass through the wall to the outdoors. I was able to take note of the varying textures as I passed through, and was surprised to see/feel that ‘space’ that is between the inner and outer walls. (Of course there is one in hindsight, but at the time, I didn’t realize it was there but sure felt the difference!)
I stopped half way out as I exited the wall, and turned back to look up at the roof and eaves. I can still ‘picture’ in my mind exactly what it looks like to see the house at this angle, something I would not be able to do in real life!
I turned back and jumped to the ground, again noting a slight difference in its appearance, as flowers were growing next to the house yet there is none there in real life. It was dark inside the house, yet my vision was clear as soon as I exited.
I turned the corner of the house to head for the front yard, and remembered I wanted to see the moon while OOB. I looked up, and sure enough, there it was – but it was not as clear as earlier and seemed to be cloud-covered or very distant.
I then remembered I wanted to go visit JP, but I was suddenly and surprisingly ‘attacked’ by something unusual. I remember seeing a very fleeting image of a white flash of ‘something’ come at me from my right side and could feel it attach itself to my right shoulder. I could hear this spine-chilling continuous “ahhhh” sound right at my right ear on the shoulder, and felt a light vibrating ‘physical’ sensation as well.
I immediately felt a small degree of fear, as this ‘thing’ was uncomfortable and unsettling. The guttural sound it made was continuous and monotone and I attempted to just press forward without giving it any thought. I was trying to keep my fear to a bare minimum as I totally knew whatever it was couldn’t hurt me. (I really don’t know where I get this courage from OOB, because even thinking about it now makes me a bit unsettled!! lol)
The sound/vibration stayed with me as I walked forward and I think I was about to become too fearful to stay OOB when I ‘heard’ the words, “send it love…..send it love”. I remembered talking with others who deal with negativity by facing it and embracing it (thanks Sam!), so I tried initially to ‘think’ of sending love- however, there was no change.
Once again I ‘heard’ the words, “send it love!” and this time without hesitation I turn to face the ‘thing’ with the intention of fully embracing and loving whatever it was….and it disappeared!
I realized I’m fading back to more awareness so now I’m trying to recall the details and talking to myself to impress the memories into my consciousness. This makes me think I’m recording the experience already, yet when I do awaken fully, I realize I have nothing recorded and still have to work hard to recall some of the details! I may have forgotten some minor aspects, but this is the best I could recall.
I am not sure what exactly this ‘thing’ was – it could have been just a ‘fear thought form’ that surfaced suddenly or may even have been something to do with the fact that there IS a 1700-1900 cemetery on that side of the house that I was walking past while OOB! I did not get a good visual on its appearance other than the white flash.
As I listen to my recordings now, I find I did get out a third time last night, however, my sleepy voice on the recorder only keeps repeating the same words, “it’s a learning situation” because whoever I was with the third time was impressing upon me that ‘it was only a learning situation’. The only other words I recorded were “it doesn’t help”….and “a long time spent learning”…..so, for this final OBE, I haven’t a clue what I was doing! lol
Thursday, December 4, 2008
87) Meeting "Family"
12/04/08
I decided to try for an OBE with the usual wake-back-to-bed (WBTB) routine this morning when I woke at 3 am. I set the intention of just ‘meeting someone’ without any particulars. Instead of my couch, I went to my daughter’s room for a change of scenery. For a little background information, my 18 year old daughter has not lived at home for the last six months, and I do miss her terribly. She is not far away, yet our time together is limited.
I know the fact that I was sleeping in her room played a major role in the experience I encountered this morning, as her energy is permeated throughout all her belongings left behind that she did not take with her.
After my usual induction, I became sharply aware of my daughter’s presence in the room, softly calling, “Mom….mom!” I didn’t answer her at first because I knew somehow that it could be one of the ‘false awakenings’ I have and wanted to wait it out to see what happened. My daughter then came close, and I could feel her hugging me with her face next to mine.
Once I felt her close hug (mostly on the right side), she started talking very softly about her problems she is encountering with her dad, her car and the tire getting soft, etc. and I could feel her sadness and her need to be with me. Her voice started drifting off, and now I knew I was in the ‘altered realms’ as I could feel the physical vibrations on my left side as she hugged my right side. I knew I could ‘speak’ now (mentally but within the experience I can hear my voice) and I’m telling her to please talk louder as I can’t hear her clearly.
She says, “I can’t get used to this separating stuff, it’s so scary”, and I am trying to allay her fears by saying “you’ll eventually get used to it after a while”….thinking it’s the OOB “separating”, but in hindsight perhaps she meant our actual physical separation that recently occurred (?).
She then said, “but I’m right now in a labor board meeting!” so I asked, “What are you doing there?” I did not get an answer as I started the fade back, with the thought that perhaps this really isn’t my daughter because she would not be doing anything with a ‘labor board meeting’…however, another thought that this may be a future event did cross my mind as I then had the vision of an older female, and so perhaps it IS possible that my daughter may encounter these same OOB ‘separating’ experiences in the future.
After recording, I settle in and quickly find myself sitting in long hallway, where I pick up something (piece of paper?) that had the name “Valentino Ortiz”. The first name “Valentino” is a close approximation, but I don’t feel it was the exact name. I asked, “Who is this… someone I can help?” and I immediately felt the familiar long black tunnel movement that takes me to where I need to be.
I found myself lying face up in the back of an open pickup truck, in the very early morning hours as it was just becoming daylight. I could see all sorts of stuff piled around me in the back of the truck, yet I was cozily tucked into blankets and comfortable with the ride in the back.
I could see two older Mexican-appearing women in the front with a young girl on the far right side. All of them had jet black hair, and the two older women (whom I could only see from the back) had ribbons and bows decorating their hair.
I knew we were on our way to someplace special, and the little girl in the front stood up, looked back at me, and was telling me all about the wonderful festival we were heading to, and how much fun we were going to have. It seems it was a yearly excursion, as I was a young toddler boy (her brother?) and this was to be my first time.
What is interesting, however, is that this little girl (about age 10) had the jet black hair, Mexican features, and a thin well-groomed black moustache, which I initially thought was quite unusual. However, I somehow knew also that this not an unusual feature to see for this group of people, and I was left with the impression that their faces were ‘cat-like’ (?).
I remember once arriving in the town for the festival I could see little shops with lots of different displays, with one that sold stuffed animals that I wanted. I’m thinking (as if I am myself, not the boy) that this family must be affluent enough to stay in the same hotel each year.
Now I’m no longer the little boy, standing off to the side of the street, and I am watching someone sitting across the street holding a very young baby, so small he could be wrapped in a ‘sock’ (?). A female is standing next to me and I realize it is my daughter again!
We take off together, holding hands tightly throughout the entire rest of the experience, moving about this town as she is telling me about her brother, saying “that boy has to do something with the casino… learn stuff about the casino”. I asked “is that what he should look into?” thinking she has some future information that I could use to help my son get established, and she said, “No, but it’d give him something to do for now.”
So I ask her, “Well, what are you going to do?” and she indicated she was going to do something to get enough money for a new bed. I clarified my question and said, “No, in life, what are you going to do with your life? You need to have an overall job, not just earn something to get piece by piece in life.” She then indicated she was interested in psychiatry, which immediately made me think of the previous experience with the “labor board meeting” comment from earlier.
I wanted to ask her more about that and just as we are going up this one street, things started to fade and I could feel her hand slipping from my grip. As the last of the fingers released, I could hear her holler, “No, Mommy, no!” which tugged at my heart center, as I became fully awake.
Once again I record this experience and realized that sleeping in this room was definitely making my experiences more personal. As I settled back in, I now find myself in a house with a Mexican family (not sure if it was the same one) that consisted of a father, mother, another woman (aunt?) and three boys.
I was there helping to fix the meal and they were showing me how to make something with the hot oil in the front room. The middle room was the dining area, completely set up for dinner, and I realized there was a back room where some excitement was going on.
It seems the mother of the family had just given birth to a very, very small baby and the young boys (all about 7-9 years old) were very upset. The one was the older brother of the baby and was talking with his two male cousins about how small the baby is, and how he’s not going to be any fun because he will have problems with his very small size. (I got the feeling this was perhaps the same very small baby I saw in the previous setting after I was out of the truck).
I was sitting with the boys, trying to get them to understand the situation, telling the big brother that it was ok to be mad and upset right now, but then he had to realize that he was needed as the ‘big brother’ to help take care of the baby. Something told me that the mother was not going to be able to have another child and this was the only chance he was going to have to get a sibling. The brother said something about “well, I wish Saul/Seth was still around,” which made me think there was an older brother that passed on previously that he missed.
Then there was more excitement, as someone yelled that we’d better go check on that food cooking. As I enter the middle room I could see flames and smoke coming out of the front room where the hot oil cooking was going on!! I knew we had to call 911, headed for the phone on the counter, but the father ran ahead of me and closed the door to that room. I knew the fire was out of control at this point!
I can still picture him holding the door closed, with a cloth across his mouth and nose, smoke all around, trying to reach for the phone. I felt paralyzed with fear, turned to yell for the others to get out of the house, yet felt as though I had cotton in my mouth and was unable to speak!
I could feel a sense of guilt that I perhaps had caused their home to be lost to fire, and it was at this exact point that I was startled awake, mid-scene, by my husband who was leaving for the day and needed to talk to me. This was the first time ever I have been awakened ‘for real’ during this type of experience, and the startled surprise awakening with a quick transition was very uncomfortable, especially since I was feeling very emotional at the point of waking.
I do not know how all this relates to anything, yet there seems to be an intertwining of events between the three experiences. I have learned that I should just write as I see it, and hope for validation and clarification from others at some point in the future.
At this time, I left a message for my daughter to call me, as I told her she visited me last night and want to correlate this if I can. Keep checking back and I’ll post anything of significance that happens to clarify any of these events.
Meanwhile, any insights or feedback on these experiences will always be greatly appreciated!
I decided to try for an OBE with the usual wake-back-to-bed (WBTB) routine this morning when I woke at 3 am. I set the intention of just ‘meeting someone’ without any particulars. Instead of my couch, I went to my daughter’s room for a change of scenery. For a little background information, my 18 year old daughter has not lived at home for the last six months, and I do miss her terribly. She is not far away, yet our time together is limited.
I know the fact that I was sleeping in her room played a major role in the experience I encountered this morning, as her energy is permeated throughout all her belongings left behind that she did not take with her.
After my usual induction, I became sharply aware of my daughter’s presence in the room, softly calling, “Mom….mom!” I didn’t answer her at first because I knew somehow that it could be one of the ‘false awakenings’ I have and wanted to wait it out to see what happened. My daughter then came close, and I could feel her hugging me with her face next to mine.
Once I felt her close hug (mostly on the right side), she started talking very softly about her problems she is encountering with her dad, her car and the tire getting soft, etc. and I could feel her sadness and her need to be with me. Her voice started drifting off, and now I knew I was in the ‘altered realms’ as I could feel the physical vibrations on my left side as she hugged my right side. I knew I could ‘speak’ now (mentally but within the experience I can hear my voice) and I’m telling her to please talk louder as I can’t hear her clearly.
She says, “I can’t get used to this separating stuff, it’s so scary”, and I am trying to allay her fears by saying “you’ll eventually get used to it after a while”….thinking it’s the OOB “separating”, but in hindsight perhaps she meant our actual physical separation that recently occurred (?).
She then said, “but I’m right now in a labor board meeting!” so I asked, “What are you doing there?” I did not get an answer as I started the fade back, with the thought that perhaps this really isn’t my daughter because she would not be doing anything with a ‘labor board meeting’…however, another thought that this may be a future event did cross my mind as I then had the vision of an older female, and so perhaps it IS possible that my daughter may encounter these same OOB ‘separating’ experiences in the future.
After recording, I settle in and quickly find myself sitting in long hallway, where I pick up something (piece of paper?) that had the name “Valentino Ortiz”. The first name “Valentino” is a close approximation, but I don’t feel it was the exact name. I asked, “Who is this… someone I can help?” and I immediately felt the familiar long black tunnel movement that takes me to where I need to be.
I found myself lying face up in the back of an open pickup truck, in the very early morning hours as it was just becoming daylight. I could see all sorts of stuff piled around me in the back of the truck, yet I was cozily tucked into blankets and comfortable with the ride in the back.
I could see two older Mexican-appearing women in the front with a young girl on the far right side. All of them had jet black hair, and the two older women (whom I could only see from the back) had ribbons and bows decorating their hair.
I knew we were on our way to someplace special, and the little girl in the front stood up, looked back at me, and was telling me all about the wonderful festival we were heading to, and how much fun we were going to have. It seems it was a yearly excursion, as I was a young toddler boy (her brother?) and this was to be my first time.
What is interesting, however, is that this little girl (about age 10) had the jet black hair, Mexican features, and a thin well-groomed black moustache, which I initially thought was quite unusual. However, I somehow knew also that this not an unusual feature to see for this group of people, and I was left with the impression that their faces were ‘cat-like’ (?).
I remember once arriving in the town for the festival I could see little shops with lots of different displays, with one that sold stuffed animals that I wanted. I’m thinking (as if I am myself, not the boy) that this family must be affluent enough to stay in the same hotel each year.
Now I’m no longer the little boy, standing off to the side of the street, and I am watching someone sitting across the street holding a very young baby, so small he could be wrapped in a ‘sock’ (?). A female is standing next to me and I realize it is my daughter again!
We take off together, holding hands tightly throughout the entire rest of the experience, moving about this town as she is telling me about her brother, saying “that boy has to do something with the casino… learn stuff about the casino”. I asked “is that what he should look into?” thinking she has some future information that I could use to help my son get established, and she said, “No, but it’d give him something to do for now.”
So I ask her, “Well, what are you going to do?” and she indicated she was going to do something to get enough money for a new bed. I clarified my question and said, “No, in life, what are you going to do with your life? You need to have an overall job, not just earn something to get piece by piece in life.” She then indicated she was interested in psychiatry, which immediately made me think of the previous experience with the “labor board meeting” comment from earlier.
I wanted to ask her more about that and just as we are going up this one street, things started to fade and I could feel her hand slipping from my grip. As the last of the fingers released, I could hear her holler, “No, Mommy, no!” which tugged at my heart center, as I became fully awake.
Once again I record this experience and realized that sleeping in this room was definitely making my experiences more personal. As I settled back in, I now find myself in a house with a Mexican family (not sure if it was the same one) that consisted of a father, mother, another woman (aunt?) and three boys.
I was there helping to fix the meal and they were showing me how to make something with the hot oil in the front room. The middle room was the dining area, completely set up for dinner, and I realized there was a back room where some excitement was going on.
It seems the mother of the family had just given birth to a very, very small baby and the young boys (all about 7-9 years old) were very upset. The one was the older brother of the baby and was talking with his two male cousins about how small the baby is, and how he’s not going to be any fun because he will have problems with his very small size. (I got the feeling this was perhaps the same very small baby I saw in the previous setting after I was out of the truck).
I was sitting with the boys, trying to get them to understand the situation, telling the big brother that it was ok to be mad and upset right now, but then he had to realize that he was needed as the ‘big brother’ to help take care of the baby. Something told me that the mother was not going to be able to have another child and this was the only chance he was going to have to get a sibling. The brother said something about “well, I wish Saul/Seth was still around,” which made me think there was an older brother that passed on previously that he missed.
Then there was more excitement, as someone yelled that we’d better go check on that food cooking. As I enter the middle room I could see flames and smoke coming out of the front room where the hot oil cooking was going on!! I knew we had to call 911, headed for the phone on the counter, but the father ran ahead of me and closed the door to that room. I knew the fire was out of control at this point!
I can still picture him holding the door closed, with a cloth across his mouth and nose, smoke all around, trying to reach for the phone. I felt paralyzed with fear, turned to yell for the others to get out of the house, yet felt as though I had cotton in my mouth and was unable to speak!
I could feel a sense of guilt that I perhaps had caused their home to be lost to fire, and it was at this exact point that I was startled awake, mid-scene, by my husband who was leaving for the day and needed to talk to me. This was the first time ever I have been awakened ‘for real’ during this type of experience, and the startled surprise awakening with a quick transition was very uncomfortable, especially since I was feeling very emotional at the point of waking.
I do not know how all this relates to anything, yet there seems to be an intertwining of events between the three experiences. I have learned that I should just write as I see it, and hope for validation and clarification from others at some point in the future.
At this time, I left a message for my daughter to call me, as I told her she visited me last night and want to correlate this if I can. Keep checking back and I’ll post anything of significance that happens to clarify any of these events.
Meanwhile, any insights or feedback on these experiences will always be greatly appreciated!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
86) Black Hole and a Retrieval
11/27/08
Finally, after many unusual OBEs over the past few weeks, I think I have put together some answers as to why I was having these changes. You will remember that my exits have varied, from the lightest, simplest type feelings to the most heavy, cumbersome sensations with difficulty moving and actual physical ‘touch’ sensations.
Last night (this morning actually) it seems I had a chance to help someone who was unable to pass over completely, as another ‘soul retrieval’. I have been asking many times lately for the chance to help others in this capacity once again; similar to the fantastic OBE I had with Stephanie (see #52 in my blog). However, it when it didn’t happen after many requests, I made other plans last night (intention) to go see JP should I get out.
I DO remember, however, having the thought just prior to sleep that since it was Thanksgiving that it WOULD be nice if I could show my gratitude and find someone to help…so I’m wondering if that thought was put there as an indication of what was to happen!
The first exit I recall was an easy exit, one that I knew I could just climb out and move through the door to my bedroom porch. From there I remembered I had wanted to go visit JP this time, and started to drift upward. I was a bit discouraged though to find myself back in bed, waking up!
So I intended again, and became aware of sensations where I thought I might be able to exit. This time, it was the ‘heavy’ exit, and it literally felt as though I was ‘pouring myself’ out of body, off the side of the bed! I was so ‘thick’ that I could not be certain whether I was actually falling off the side of the bed or exiting!! lol
Getting to a standing position next to the bed, I moved to the door, and upon easily passing through it to the porch, it gave me the validation I was indeed OOB. This time, however, I was amazed at the ‘physical’ touch sensations returning, as I clearly felt the railing of the porch under my hands.
In hindsight, I now know that this exit was very close to ‘physical realm’, hence the ability to be OOB yet have tactile senses, which was necessary for the encounter that followed.
I suddenly found myself back in bed, lying on my right side (as I knew I really was), and felt these big strong arms encircling my chest from behind! My mind was reeling at first, not knowing what was going on, as I knew this was NOT my husband! I remember yelling, ‘No!’ and moving away, yet for some reason I didn’t move far.
I heard a male voice say, ‘But we had so much fun the last time!’ and this again sent my mind thinking ‘what is going on here??!’ I was in a state of confusion, and yet remaining calm (as best I could!), and was given the knowledge that something unusual was happening when I then heard this same male voice say in a child-like quality, “but I’m so afraid of falling into that big black hole!”
It was then that I realized someone was here that needed my help, and I instinctively knew it was a mentally challenged older adult male. Apparently I had been with him before, as he remembered the ‘fun’ we had at another time (probably one of those lost recalls I had!)
Now I realized I had to get him to talk to me and open to the possibility of other seeing other ‘people’ to help him to pass over. (His spirit guides who he cannot see due to his belief and fear of the ‘black hole’). I asked, ‘so why are you so afraid of the black hole?’ as I moved to upright position with him next to me in the bedroom.
There was no answer to this question and I knew right away it was not the right approach. So now I say, ‘so how about we play a game?’ and he was much delighted with this idea. I said this game would involved searching for ‘things’ as I wanted him to get into the mode of looking for things he would not usually be receptive to.
I asked, ‘how about we look for a kitty-cat?’ and he said, no, he didn’t like them. So I said, “well, I know you like puppy dogs, so let’s go look for a puppy dog!” His excitement was obvious, so I added one more idea to his thinking by saying, ‘but the game is so much more fun if we had more people to play with us!’
At this time, I distinctly heard a female voice come from the bedroom door area, indicating she was there and wanted to play with us. (In hindsight, this had to have been his guide, waiting for the chance to be seen – but I did not see anyone, just heard her.) I told the man, ‘look, Mary is here, and wants to play with us!’ and we all started the game of searching for the puppy.
What is odd is that during this entire time of interacting with the male, I was in a darkened room with very limited vision, and really just moved about by ‘feel’. I was not able to see him clearly, but I had the feeling he was a tall, lanky, thin male. I never even thought about asking him his name!
The next recall I have is of this male lying contentedly and happily in his bed, very much similar to the way I last saw Stephanie. I moved next to him, stroked his face with my hand, and told him I was going to tell him a story to help him sleep. It was at this time I was able to actually see his face – long thin large-featured face – with a big smile!
I felt myself transitioning back to fully awake as I sat by him, becoming aware I was in my same sleeping position as I started this experience. Realizing what just happened, I was once again taken in by the awesome feeling of joy and happiness that ended this experience, and expressed my extreme gratitude for allowing me to once again be of assistance to someone who needed some help.
To me, this was the best way to spend Thanksgiving Day!
Finally, after many unusual OBEs over the past few weeks, I think I have put together some answers as to why I was having these changes. You will remember that my exits have varied, from the lightest, simplest type feelings to the most heavy, cumbersome sensations with difficulty moving and actual physical ‘touch’ sensations.
Last night (this morning actually) it seems I had a chance to help someone who was unable to pass over completely, as another ‘soul retrieval’. I have been asking many times lately for the chance to help others in this capacity once again; similar to the fantastic OBE I had with Stephanie (see #52 in my blog). However, it when it didn’t happen after many requests, I made other plans last night (intention) to go see JP should I get out.
I DO remember, however, having the thought just prior to sleep that since it was Thanksgiving that it WOULD be nice if I could show my gratitude and find someone to help…so I’m wondering if that thought was put there as an indication of what was to happen!
The first exit I recall was an easy exit, one that I knew I could just climb out and move through the door to my bedroom porch. From there I remembered I had wanted to go visit JP this time, and started to drift upward. I was a bit discouraged though to find myself back in bed, waking up!
So I intended again, and became aware of sensations where I thought I might be able to exit. This time, it was the ‘heavy’ exit, and it literally felt as though I was ‘pouring myself’ out of body, off the side of the bed! I was so ‘thick’ that I could not be certain whether I was actually falling off the side of the bed or exiting!! lol
Getting to a standing position next to the bed, I moved to the door, and upon easily passing through it to the porch, it gave me the validation I was indeed OOB. This time, however, I was amazed at the ‘physical’ touch sensations returning, as I clearly felt the railing of the porch under my hands.
In hindsight, I now know that this exit was very close to ‘physical realm’, hence the ability to be OOB yet have tactile senses, which was necessary for the encounter that followed.
I suddenly found myself back in bed, lying on my right side (as I knew I really was), and felt these big strong arms encircling my chest from behind! My mind was reeling at first, not knowing what was going on, as I knew this was NOT my husband! I remember yelling, ‘No!’ and moving away, yet for some reason I didn’t move far.
I heard a male voice say, ‘But we had so much fun the last time!’ and this again sent my mind thinking ‘what is going on here??!’ I was in a state of confusion, and yet remaining calm (as best I could!), and was given the knowledge that something unusual was happening when I then heard this same male voice say in a child-like quality, “but I’m so afraid of falling into that big black hole!”
It was then that I realized someone was here that needed my help, and I instinctively knew it was a mentally challenged older adult male. Apparently I had been with him before, as he remembered the ‘fun’ we had at another time (probably one of those lost recalls I had!)
Now I realized I had to get him to talk to me and open to the possibility of other seeing other ‘people’ to help him to pass over. (His spirit guides who he cannot see due to his belief and fear of the ‘black hole’). I asked, ‘so why are you so afraid of the black hole?’ as I moved to upright position with him next to me in the bedroom.
There was no answer to this question and I knew right away it was not the right approach. So now I say, ‘so how about we play a game?’ and he was much delighted with this idea. I said this game would involved searching for ‘things’ as I wanted him to get into the mode of looking for things he would not usually be receptive to.
I asked, ‘how about we look for a kitty-cat?’ and he said, no, he didn’t like them. So I said, “well, I know you like puppy dogs, so let’s go look for a puppy dog!” His excitement was obvious, so I added one more idea to his thinking by saying, ‘but the game is so much more fun if we had more people to play with us!’
At this time, I distinctly heard a female voice come from the bedroom door area, indicating she was there and wanted to play with us. (In hindsight, this had to have been his guide, waiting for the chance to be seen – but I did not see anyone, just heard her.) I told the man, ‘look, Mary is here, and wants to play with us!’ and we all started the game of searching for the puppy.
What is odd is that during this entire time of interacting with the male, I was in a darkened room with very limited vision, and really just moved about by ‘feel’. I was not able to see him clearly, but I had the feeling he was a tall, lanky, thin male. I never even thought about asking him his name!
The next recall I have is of this male lying contentedly and happily in his bed, very much similar to the way I last saw Stephanie. I moved next to him, stroked his face with my hand, and told him I was going to tell him a story to help him sleep. It was at this time I was able to actually see his face – long thin large-featured face – with a big smile!
I felt myself transitioning back to fully awake as I sat by him, becoming aware I was in my same sleeping position as I started this experience. Realizing what just happened, I was once again taken in by the awesome feeling of joy and happiness that ended this experience, and expressed my extreme gratitude for allowing me to once again be of assistance to someone who needed some help.
To me, this was the best way to spend Thanksgiving Day!
Sunday, November 23, 2008
85) Using Intention for Tactile Awareness; Recording Issues
11/23/08
With the advice that I may be hindering my own experiences by believing I was ‘too stressed’ to do them (thanks, Robot_Butler!), I made a specific attempt to get OOB last night with positive affirmations and beliefs that I could do so! As you will read, it did work (!) although it was only for short excursions, but at least I also had some new learning.
I am on my couch and after my usual induction, realize I am staring at an object in the room yet knew that my eyes were closed. I thought then I must be able to get out, so I just attempted to climb off the couch as if awake, not waiting for any usual signal.
Now I know I am OOB as I felt the very heavy and very strong tugging once again. I fall to the floor, trying to pull away, looking at front door and affirming, “to the door!” I find I am not moving easily, so I turned over to look back at couch and can see the ‘lumps’ of me under the blankets. At that point I was able to move easier to the front door and out to the front step. (Did my ‘mind’ have to see this to believe I was out?)
Outside, I’m thinking of what I wanted to do, thought about visiting JP, but then just started floating up and enjoying the freedom of spirit. I also remember that, despite my strong desire to “flip, fly, and zoom” (lol) once again, I had wanted to do something ‘constructive’ if I got out.
As I’m floating up, I was surprised to hear what sounded like a radio announcer voice (male) coming from behind me. I turned back, saw no one, so I asked “who’s there?” and “does anyone want to talk to me?”
I hear the static-type words in response to my questions, although I could not make out any specific words. I say, “I’m sorry but I can’t understand” and then heard it again, but now in a different position, as if moving away. I decided to follow where the voice was going, even though I had no idea what it was saying. I did ask, “Is it ok if I follow you?” as we moved up higher into the starry sky. Hearing the same static voice response and not knowing if it was ok, I said, “Well, if it’s not ok then just let me go to where it is best for me right now.”
Immediately I felt the usual backward bumpy ride through a long black tunnel and when the moving sensation stopped, I found myself pulled up into this station platform of sorts.
I find myself very much aware of standing on this platform, with a very sharp transition of consciousness. It was very unusual transition, and it felt like I had been there already and just became awake and functional in a new ‘form’.
People were walking back and forth, and I could see the exit beyond. I felt I was supposed to meet someone, so I was hoping they would recognize me and make an attempt to communicate. I made eye contact with a young blond female who smiled, and yet she continued to walk past me.
There was an entirely different ‘feel’ to this area, a very ‘real’ concrete appearance and sensations. My ‘body’ no longer felt the lightness as it did prior to getting here.
With all the new sensations, as well as my concern that no one in particular was going to meet me here, I think I had my ‘real life’ fears of being in a strange place, unassisted and without a means of communication settle in. It was due to these new feelings and subsequent fears that I immediately found myself back in body on the couch, not able to investigate this ‘station’ further.
After recording the last experience, I settled back in for another attempt, thinking I might want to stay in the near physical and visit my mother’s house down the road. The second exit was much easier, again with no clear signal, I just knew when it was time to climb out. This time I felt that strong tugging, but pulling me toward the bedroom hallway, similar to a previous experience. I felt unsteady and was trying to regain control, as I remembered that the last time I went down that hallway my experience ended quickly.
I regained my control and headed out the front window. I aim for my mother’s house, and recall seeing the same trees along the path that are there in real life. I put my arms out to feel the hanging branches, enjoying the texture changes as I passed through them. I stopped, thought that it might be interested to see if I could ‘physically’ touch them, and then made the attempt to shake the limbs.
Looking back toward my house I was amazed that I had the ability to make these branches ‘physically’ move, seeing their response to my intention to move them, despite the fact I was just able to pass through them a moment ago. I realized it was my intention to now move them that gave me the ability to do so.
I continued on to the house but realized it was very early morning (I recall even checking a clock to see what time it was!) Realizing no one will be awake even though I saw a light on, I faded back to full awareness on the couch. In hindsight, I’m sure it was my expectation that no one would be around that stopped this experience.
The third exit this night was different in that I became aware I was recording a previous OBE while riding in a car! I recognized this as ‘not right’ so I started a “running commentary” in my recording as to what I am doing because I knew I was aware that I am ‘dreaming’.
The car moved up a steep hill I recall being near my home, and then as it started rolling down the hill, I knew it was going to roll over and so I took that as a signal for exit to become OOB. I am flying high, heading back toward my mother’s house and can now look down to see my dog Buddy running under me and barking. I holler to him, ‘come on, Buddy!’ hoping to have him join me, but for some reason this time he didn’t.
Once again I can feel the textures as I go through things, and it was very hard to try to remember just what it was that I wanted to do. I then remembered, “oh yeah, go inward now!” as I started to spin to induce it.
I could feel the physical ‘touch’ of things all around me as I spun which was not usual and caught me off guard. I wondered why I could feel these physical sensations and stopped the spinning. Immediately, the experience ended and I felt it may have been due to my concern that I was able to tangibly feel objects around me.
This exit was different in that I found myself using my tape recorder recalling a previous OBE, then realizing it isn’t right so continued taping as I took control.
This led to my last experience where I find I am once again recording another OBE experience I just had, talking through each and every step, only to become fully awake shortly thereafter and realizing nothing has been recorded! All I have for recall of my last exit this night is the fact that I was walking along a fence while recording.
Somehow while recording, I let go of hanging onto what I just did because I ‘knew’ it was being taped, so when I fully awaken, there is no memory. Now I am wondering if the act of recording my experiences is possibly hindering my ability to recall, as it seems to now be incorporated into a ‘false awakening’ of sorts.
With the advice that I may be hindering my own experiences by believing I was ‘too stressed’ to do them (thanks, Robot_Butler!), I made a specific attempt to get OOB last night with positive affirmations and beliefs that I could do so! As you will read, it did work (!) although it was only for short excursions, but at least I also had some new learning.
I am on my couch and after my usual induction, realize I am staring at an object in the room yet knew that my eyes were closed. I thought then I must be able to get out, so I just attempted to climb off the couch as if awake, not waiting for any usual signal.
Now I know I am OOB as I felt the very heavy and very strong tugging once again. I fall to the floor, trying to pull away, looking at front door and affirming, “to the door!” I find I am not moving easily, so I turned over to look back at couch and can see the ‘lumps’ of me under the blankets. At that point I was able to move easier to the front door and out to the front step. (Did my ‘mind’ have to see this to believe I was out?)
Outside, I’m thinking of what I wanted to do, thought about visiting JP, but then just started floating up and enjoying the freedom of spirit. I also remember that, despite my strong desire to “flip, fly, and zoom” (lol) once again, I had wanted to do something ‘constructive’ if I got out.
As I’m floating up, I was surprised to hear what sounded like a radio announcer voice (male) coming from behind me. I turned back, saw no one, so I asked “who’s there?” and “does anyone want to talk to me?”
I hear the static-type words in response to my questions, although I could not make out any specific words. I say, “I’m sorry but I can’t understand” and then heard it again, but now in a different position, as if moving away. I decided to follow where the voice was going, even though I had no idea what it was saying. I did ask, “Is it ok if I follow you?” as we moved up higher into the starry sky. Hearing the same static voice response and not knowing if it was ok, I said, “Well, if it’s not ok then just let me go to where it is best for me right now.”
Immediately I felt the usual backward bumpy ride through a long black tunnel and when the moving sensation stopped, I found myself pulled up into this station platform of sorts.
I find myself very much aware of standing on this platform, with a very sharp transition of consciousness. It was very unusual transition, and it felt like I had been there already and just became awake and functional in a new ‘form’.
People were walking back and forth, and I could see the exit beyond. I felt I was supposed to meet someone, so I was hoping they would recognize me and make an attempt to communicate. I made eye contact with a young blond female who smiled, and yet she continued to walk past me.
There was an entirely different ‘feel’ to this area, a very ‘real’ concrete appearance and sensations. My ‘body’ no longer felt the lightness as it did prior to getting here.
With all the new sensations, as well as my concern that no one in particular was going to meet me here, I think I had my ‘real life’ fears of being in a strange place, unassisted and without a means of communication settle in. It was due to these new feelings and subsequent fears that I immediately found myself back in body on the couch, not able to investigate this ‘station’ further.
After recording the last experience, I settled back in for another attempt, thinking I might want to stay in the near physical and visit my mother’s house down the road. The second exit was much easier, again with no clear signal, I just knew when it was time to climb out. This time I felt that strong tugging, but pulling me toward the bedroom hallway, similar to a previous experience. I felt unsteady and was trying to regain control, as I remembered that the last time I went down that hallway my experience ended quickly.
I regained my control and headed out the front window. I aim for my mother’s house, and recall seeing the same trees along the path that are there in real life. I put my arms out to feel the hanging branches, enjoying the texture changes as I passed through them. I stopped, thought that it might be interested to see if I could ‘physically’ touch them, and then made the attempt to shake the limbs.
Looking back toward my house I was amazed that I had the ability to make these branches ‘physically’ move, seeing their response to my intention to move them, despite the fact I was just able to pass through them a moment ago. I realized it was my intention to now move them that gave me the ability to do so.
I continued on to the house but realized it was very early morning (I recall even checking a clock to see what time it was!) Realizing no one will be awake even though I saw a light on, I faded back to full awareness on the couch. In hindsight, I’m sure it was my expectation that no one would be around that stopped this experience.
The third exit this night was different in that I became aware I was recording a previous OBE while riding in a car! I recognized this as ‘not right’ so I started a “running commentary” in my recording as to what I am doing because I knew I was aware that I am ‘dreaming’.
The car moved up a steep hill I recall being near my home, and then as it started rolling down the hill, I knew it was going to roll over and so I took that as a signal for exit to become OOB. I am flying high, heading back toward my mother’s house and can now look down to see my dog Buddy running under me and barking. I holler to him, ‘come on, Buddy!’ hoping to have him join me, but for some reason this time he didn’t.
Once again I can feel the textures as I go through things, and it was very hard to try to remember just what it was that I wanted to do. I then remembered, “oh yeah, go inward now!” as I started to spin to induce it.
I could feel the physical ‘touch’ of things all around me as I spun which was not usual and caught me off guard. I wondered why I could feel these physical sensations and stopped the spinning. Immediately, the experience ended and I felt it may have been due to my concern that I was able to tangibly feel objects around me.
This exit was different in that I found myself using my tape recorder recalling a previous OBE, then realizing it isn’t right so continued taping as I took control.
This led to my last experience where I find I am once again recording another OBE experience I just had, talking through each and every step, only to become fully awake shortly thereafter and realizing nothing has been recorded! All I have for recall of my last exit this night is the fact that I was walking along a fence while recording.
Somehow while recording, I let go of hanging onto what I just did because I ‘knew’ it was being taped, so when I fully awaken, there is no memory. Now I am wondering if the act of recording my experiences is possibly hindering my ability to recall, as it seems to now be incorporated into a ‘false awakening’ of sorts.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
84) Kindness to Undesirables
**NEW COMMENTARY AT END**
I have been having some very different types of ‘dreams’ and OBEs lately in the sense that I feel I do not have the control or ability to determine my movements in a pre-planned manner.
I thought since there aren’t any great experiences to report, I would still share a sample of what I am encountering at this time. The past few weeks have been rather upsetting and disconcerting for me, and I know this always plays a role in my OOB experiences, usually in reducing the frequency of exit. However, I know I am still ‘getting out’, but have neither the recall nor the ability to determine my movements as I once did.
11/19/08
I became aware of my signal that I was ready to roll out and attempted to move. It was very difficult to get up out of the body as I had to exit from my side instead of straight up. It was dark once again, feeling blind and heavy, yet I could hear noises clearly. There were conversations and white static type noise drifting in and out.
I knew due to my real life issues that concentrating would be difficult so I had set the intention prior to meet with my guide Richard and ask for his help. While standing there, I remembered to ask, “Richard, where are you?” and immediately received the answer from the other side of the front door, “I am here”. However, it was just too heavy and thick to move and I reentered my body and faded back to being aware.
Shortly thereafter, I exited a second time, but once again had no control. I felt as though I was being pulled backward down the other bedroom hallway (one I have never traveled down before in an OBE). I could feel my arms out to my sides, and the different textures as we passed through the various walls and objects. I could feel the floating and flying sensation, however, it faded to blackness and I have no further recall.
A third time this same night I was aware of being awake and feeling the vibrations start. I was consciously able to increase and decrease their intensity, sometimes to the point of being almost painful. I was not able to exit, but then realized my ‘astral vision’ was opening as I clearly saw ‘into’ the aperture that was opening. I knew I was lying on the couch, looking up into the most beautiful starry sky once again, but through a ‘windshield’ of sorts, that quickly became a canopy of leaves. I knew I was wide awake, in a very light state of consciousness and yet seeing the night sky as it was framed by the gentle sway of leaves on trees.
It was also during this timeframe that I recall seeing my husband and son come into the living room and leaving through the front door, as I felt there had been a fire call they had to respond to (both volunteer firemen). I was astonished later that morning upon talking with him that there was no fire call and that he and my son did not ever leave the house! It had to have been a false awakening and I had no idea!
11/15/08
I am not classifying this experience as dream or OBE, as I just have no idea which it was. Honestly though, I feel there is no difference anyway when it comes to symbolism and meaning. There is always something to learn from both!
I was aware I was in the process of helping some people that needed my assistance. I remember these people were of the ‘homeless, destitute, unkempt’ type individuals and I was giving them a place to stay. For some reason, I had a ‘wig’ I would put on that would make me more ‘like them’ so that I would ‘fit in’ better. (It appeared to me to be a ‘dreadlock’ type wig). For some reason, a few wanted to leave in the middle of the night, and I was busy trying to make sure they would be safe once they left the house.
Next recall I have is that I am in another area and see one of these ‘messy-hair’ men along the way. He is upset that someone had broken his ‘control’ stick so I handed him mine that I knew I had just bought prior to coming. He was most appreciative of my gesture.
I continued on into another room, this one made entirely of cold, dark, dank stone. There was this disheveled young male in there with very dark (makeup-type) circles under his eyes giving him a creepy disturbing image. I remember thinking I should be afraid, yet I had no fear.
I looked around the room and walked to the back corner. Standing there, I was amazed as I watched this light colored jar/jug move on its own closer to me, and then quickly change into a ‘white light’ area on the floor with a saying written inside this area. I am not sure the exact wording but it registered as something akin to ‘loving one another’ or ‘love your neighbor as yourself’ or something to that effect.
As I read it, I acknowledged it as a ‘religious truth’ to live by, and the young man walks up to me. He’s telling me all about how “big this will be” (as he is pointing to the far corner of the room), “it’ll be made all out of chrome”. I said “What will be? What are you making?” and I get the word ‘centomere’ (?sp) or ‘sarcomere’. (I got the feeling it was a closed box of some kind - ?casket-like?)
Not knowing what that is, I ask ‘what is that for?’ and he says, “it’s for your kindness”. I felt so appreciative of this gesture, realizing he wanted to build this in tribute to me and my ‘kindness’. I try to say, ‘oh no, it’s not necessary’ and so on, but I was immediately brought back to full awareness with the feeling that I was not to say this and should allow him to show his appreciation.
In reviewing the recording, the word ‘centomere’ was repeated three times, so I’m assuming that is how it registered to me. I have no idea if such a thing exists, however, in this experience, it did!
COMMENTARY:
My thanks once again for Keith and his research into the 'centromere' and 'chrome' references, as well as it's possible link to 'consciousness'!! Wow, just amazing! Its too much to be 'just a coincidence'!!
Keith wrote:
Concerning the word “centomere” which will be all make out of “chrome,” I’ve been pondering this today. This may have no connection, but I looked up the word “centomere” on google. I didn’t find it; however, I found a word that was spelled quite similar: “centromere.” According to what I read: “A centromere is the constricted region near the center of a human chromosome. This is the region of the chromosome where the two sister chromatids are joined to one another.” I do find it interesting that you noticed a word “centomere” which was to be something build out of chrome for your kindness. There may be no connnection here. However, the word “centromere” is very similar to “centomere,” AND “chromosome” and “chrome” are similar.
I did some further research, and I discovered an article entitled: “Is Centrioles or Centromere the Center of Consciousness?”
Here is the introduction to this article:
Modern day consciousness research is centered around centrioles, an organel that emerges during the cell division and divides and move to the poles, develops spindle fibers that attaches to the centromere of the chromosome to split and pull them to two poles to cause the division. This branch of research was initiated by a brilliant Anesthetist Dr. Stuart Hameroff who teamed with equally brilliant quantum physicist Roger Penrose.
But the question here is centrioles the center of consciousness. A little logical analysis of the process of cell division should tilt our focus from the centrioles to centromere. Let us quickly review the steps involved cell division. . .
Anyway, the article takes off from there and goes on for another 50 plus pages. I’m not a quantum physicist, but the little I read was so fasinating. Again, I may be off on a wild goose chase. At any rate, my own search of “centromeres” has lead me to information on consciousness that I wasn’t aware of before, so thank you for your “hint.”
I have been having some very different types of ‘dreams’ and OBEs lately in the sense that I feel I do not have the control or ability to determine my movements in a pre-planned manner.
I thought since there aren’t any great experiences to report, I would still share a sample of what I am encountering at this time. The past few weeks have been rather upsetting and disconcerting for me, and I know this always plays a role in my OOB experiences, usually in reducing the frequency of exit. However, I know I am still ‘getting out’, but have neither the recall nor the ability to determine my movements as I once did.
11/19/08
I became aware of my signal that I was ready to roll out and attempted to move. It was very difficult to get up out of the body as I had to exit from my side instead of straight up. It was dark once again, feeling blind and heavy, yet I could hear noises clearly. There were conversations and white static type noise drifting in and out.
I knew due to my real life issues that concentrating would be difficult so I had set the intention prior to meet with my guide Richard and ask for his help. While standing there, I remembered to ask, “Richard, where are you?” and immediately received the answer from the other side of the front door, “I am here”. However, it was just too heavy and thick to move and I reentered my body and faded back to being aware.
Shortly thereafter, I exited a second time, but once again had no control. I felt as though I was being pulled backward down the other bedroom hallway (one I have never traveled down before in an OBE). I could feel my arms out to my sides, and the different textures as we passed through the various walls and objects. I could feel the floating and flying sensation, however, it faded to blackness and I have no further recall.
A third time this same night I was aware of being awake and feeling the vibrations start. I was consciously able to increase and decrease their intensity, sometimes to the point of being almost painful. I was not able to exit, but then realized my ‘astral vision’ was opening as I clearly saw ‘into’ the aperture that was opening. I knew I was lying on the couch, looking up into the most beautiful starry sky once again, but through a ‘windshield’ of sorts, that quickly became a canopy of leaves. I knew I was wide awake, in a very light state of consciousness and yet seeing the night sky as it was framed by the gentle sway of leaves on trees.
It was also during this timeframe that I recall seeing my husband and son come into the living room and leaving through the front door, as I felt there had been a fire call they had to respond to (both volunteer firemen). I was astonished later that morning upon talking with him that there was no fire call and that he and my son did not ever leave the house! It had to have been a false awakening and I had no idea!
11/15/08
I am not classifying this experience as dream or OBE, as I just have no idea which it was. Honestly though, I feel there is no difference anyway when it comes to symbolism and meaning. There is always something to learn from both!
I was aware I was in the process of helping some people that needed my assistance. I remember these people were of the ‘homeless, destitute, unkempt’ type individuals and I was giving them a place to stay. For some reason, I had a ‘wig’ I would put on that would make me more ‘like them’ so that I would ‘fit in’ better. (It appeared to me to be a ‘dreadlock’ type wig). For some reason, a few wanted to leave in the middle of the night, and I was busy trying to make sure they would be safe once they left the house.
Next recall I have is that I am in another area and see one of these ‘messy-hair’ men along the way. He is upset that someone had broken his ‘control’ stick so I handed him mine that I knew I had just bought prior to coming. He was most appreciative of my gesture.
I continued on into another room, this one made entirely of cold, dark, dank stone. There was this disheveled young male in there with very dark (makeup-type) circles under his eyes giving him a creepy disturbing image. I remember thinking I should be afraid, yet I had no fear.
I looked around the room and walked to the back corner. Standing there, I was amazed as I watched this light colored jar/jug move on its own closer to me, and then quickly change into a ‘white light’ area on the floor with a saying written inside this area. I am not sure the exact wording but it registered as something akin to ‘loving one another’ or ‘love your neighbor as yourself’ or something to that effect.
As I read it, I acknowledged it as a ‘religious truth’ to live by, and the young man walks up to me. He’s telling me all about how “big this will be” (as he is pointing to the far corner of the room), “it’ll be made all out of chrome”. I said “What will be? What are you making?” and I get the word ‘centomere’ (?sp) or ‘sarcomere’. (I got the feeling it was a closed box of some kind - ?casket-like?)
Not knowing what that is, I ask ‘what is that for?’ and he says, “it’s for your kindness”. I felt so appreciative of this gesture, realizing he wanted to build this in tribute to me and my ‘kindness’. I try to say, ‘oh no, it’s not necessary’ and so on, but I was immediately brought back to full awareness with the feeling that I was not to say this and should allow him to show his appreciation.
In reviewing the recording, the word ‘centomere’ was repeated three times, so I’m assuming that is how it registered to me. I have no idea if such a thing exists, however, in this experience, it did!
COMMENTARY:
My thanks once again for Keith and his research into the 'centromere' and 'chrome' references, as well as it's possible link to 'consciousness'!! Wow, just amazing! Its too much to be 'just a coincidence'!!
Keith wrote:
Concerning the word “centomere” which will be all make out of “chrome,” I’ve been pondering this today. This may have no connection, but I looked up the word “centomere” on google. I didn’t find it; however, I found a word that was spelled quite similar: “centromere.” According to what I read: “A centromere is the constricted region near the center of a human chromosome. This is the region of the chromosome where the two sister chromatids are joined to one another.” I do find it interesting that you noticed a word “centomere” which was to be something build out of chrome for your kindness. There may be no connnection here. However, the word “centromere” is very similar to “centomere,” AND “chromosome” and “chrome” are similar.
I did some further research, and I discovered an article entitled: “Is Centrioles or Centromere the Center of Consciousness?”
Here is the introduction to this article:
Modern day consciousness research is centered around centrioles, an organel that emerges during the cell division and divides and move to the poles, develops spindle fibers that attaches to the centromere of the chromosome to split and pull them to two poles to cause the division. This branch of research was initiated by a brilliant Anesthetist Dr. Stuart Hameroff who teamed with equally brilliant quantum physicist Roger Penrose.
But the question here is centrioles the center of consciousness. A little logical analysis of the process of cell division should tilt our focus from the centrioles to centromere. Let us quickly review the steps involved cell division. . .
Anyway, the article takes off from there and goes on for another 50 plus pages. I’m not a quantum physicist, but the little I read was so fasinating. Again, I may be off on a wild goose chase. At any rate, my own search of “centromeres” has lead me to information on consciousness that I wasn’t aware of before, so thank you for your “hint.”
Friday, November 14, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
83) Leaving Traces; False Awakening Understanding
11/12/08
I was awakened at 3:33 this am, which told me that something was up. However, in attempting to induce, I found myself unable to relax due to my mind thinking over the events of my personal life right now.
So I got up, did a little work I had neglected lately, and after two hours or so went back to bed. Feeling tired, I remembered all the wonderful emails and posts I received from many of you who responded to my email and forum requests for energy and healing support at this time.
Feeling the strong loving energy surrounding me, I was easily able to relax and fall asleep. My next recall was my usual ‘signal’ – I became aware of a ‘transitioning’ movement sensation, and realized my left leg was floating straight up!
I was excited to think I’d be able to get out and immediately moved to quickly roll out as usual. However, I was SO surprised to see that I was feeling held back in some way, as if I was being told to move S-L-O-W-L-Y. I couldn’t understand at first, but listened to the feeling, especially since I could tell someone was holding onto that left leg and not letting me swing it out off the bed!! LoL
I gently moved the leg back down in place, and then slowly ‘climbed’ straight out of my body! Standing next to the bed I was once again totally amazed at the clarity of this exit, with full vision and stable soft movements. No tugging or pulling, even this close to my body. I vaguely recall that may have even been able to see my own body on the bed, at least my legs! The room was exactly as it should be, and I moved easily to the porch door and out.
Once on the second floor porch, I looked over the railing and was just astounded at the beauty of the back yard and the clarity of vision I had. Looking to the hill on my left, I noticed taillights of a truck going into the back fields (where my son does some hunting) and remarked, ‘oh look, Stephen’s going hunting!’
I moved gently through the rail, even now remembering how it appeared to look down to the driveway below. Floating softly down, I was surprised to see my dog Buddy racing out the same porch door and right through the same railing to catch up with me! (He has accompanied me a few times before in my OOBEs)
On the ground, I take the time to just enjoy the pleasure and peacefulness of being out. I don’t recall exactly what else I did, but I do remember at one point floating up to the top of the pine trees we have in the yard and seeing a vine growing all through its branches.
It was a familiar vine, one that I knew broke off easily, which gave me the idea that I should break off a piece of vine and move it somewhere that I would be able to find after I woke up! I don’t know how I had this thought, as I have never before sought to leave ‘traces’ during an OBE that I would later hope to validate once awake. I left the broken piece of vine in the center of the driveway, thinking it would be noticed there.
I was excited to think I might finally be able to verify my experience with this idea so I went back to get another piece, wanting to place this one in a very obvious place for verification. I broke off another piece and then was distracted by noises coming from the forested area behind me. I thought I heard voices, and felt that I wanted to go see whoever was back there. I threw the vine toward the driveway, not really caring where it went, and took off for the forest.
My recollection ends there, as I became aware again of being back in bed, only to later realize it was a false awakening. In hindsight, I realize that it is my ‘real life’ concerns that play out in these false awakenings, as the issues that occurred are issues I am dealing with currently with my family.
During the false awakening experience, I am aware of my ‘shortcomings’ in how I am handling certain family situations and how I am feeling toward my husband and daughter (this one). I didn’t like the way I felt in the false awakening scenes. However, upon fully awakening, I see that it was all ‘false’ and that it is simply an issue that I need to deal with in real life, as it didn’t really happen. (I hope this makes sense, but I didn’t want to bore you with the family issue details).
I attempted to write down the details of this dream, as my recorder was not handy. As I am writing, I know I am forgetting something. Suddenly, I hear a gunshot from the back fields, and quickly recall that I had seen the taillights going into the back fields at the beginning of the experience! That timing of the gunshot was not by chance, I am sure!
I went outside to the driveway in hopes of maybe finding SOME evidence of my travel this morning; however, there was nothing to be found. However, my son DID call a short while later to let me know it WAS him in the back fields sighting in his guns to get ready for the hunting season that starts in a few days!
I was awakened at 3:33 this am, which told me that something was up. However, in attempting to induce, I found myself unable to relax due to my mind thinking over the events of my personal life right now.
So I got up, did a little work I had neglected lately, and after two hours or so went back to bed. Feeling tired, I remembered all the wonderful emails and posts I received from many of you who responded to my email and forum requests for energy and healing support at this time.
Feeling the strong loving energy surrounding me, I was easily able to relax and fall asleep. My next recall was my usual ‘signal’ – I became aware of a ‘transitioning’ movement sensation, and realized my left leg was floating straight up!
I was excited to think I’d be able to get out and immediately moved to quickly roll out as usual. However, I was SO surprised to see that I was feeling held back in some way, as if I was being told to move S-L-O-W-L-Y. I couldn’t understand at first, but listened to the feeling, especially since I could tell someone was holding onto that left leg and not letting me swing it out off the bed!! LoL
I gently moved the leg back down in place, and then slowly ‘climbed’ straight out of my body! Standing next to the bed I was once again totally amazed at the clarity of this exit, with full vision and stable soft movements. No tugging or pulling, even this close to my body. I vaguely recall that may have even been able to see my own body on the bed, at least my legs! The room was exactly as it should be, and I moved easily to the porch door and out.
Once on the second floor porch, I looked over the railing and was just astounded at the beauty of the back yard and the clarity of vision I had. Looking to the hill on my left, I noticed taillights of a truck going into the back fields (where my son does some hunting) and remarked, ‘oh look, Stephen’s going hunting!’
I moved gently through the rail, even now remembering how it appeared to look down to the driveway below. Floating softly down, I was surprised to see my dog Buddy racing out the same porch door and right through the same railing to catch up with me! (He has accompanied me a few times before in my OOBEs)
On the ground, I take the time to just enjoy the pleasure and peacefulness of being out. I don’t recall exactly what else I did, but I do remember at one point floating up to the top of the pine trees we have in the yard and seeing a vine growing all through its branches.
It was a familiar vine, one that I knew broke off easily, which gave me the idea that I should break off a piece of vine and move it somewhere that I would be able to find after I woke up! I don’t know how I had this thought, as I have never before sought to leave ‘traces’ during an OBE that I would later hope to validate once awake. I left the broken piece of vine in the center of the driveway, thinking it would be noticed there.
I was excited to think I might finally be able to verify my experience with this idea so I went back to get another piece, wanting to place this one in a very obvious place for verification. I broke off another piece and then was distracted by noises coming from the forested area behind me. I thought I heard voices, and felt that I wanted to go see whoever was back there. I threw the vine toward the driveway, not really caring where it went, and took off for the forest.
My recollection ends there, as I became aware again of being back in bed, only to later realize it was a false awakening. In hindsight, I realize that it is my ‘real life’ concerns that play out in these false awakenings, as the issues that occurred are issues I am dealing with currently with my family.
During the false awakening experience, I am aware of my ‘shortcomings’ in how I am handling certain family situations and how I am feeling toward my husband and daughter (this one). I didn’t like the way I felt in the false awakening scenes. However, upon fully awakening, I see that it was all ‘false’ and that it is simply an issue that I need to deal with in real life, as it didn’t really happen. (I hope this makes sense, but I didn’t want to bore you with the family issue details).
I attempted to write down the details of this dream, as my recorder was not handy. As I am writing, I know I am forgetting something. Suddenly, I hear a gunshot from the back fields, and quickly recall that I had seen the taillights going into the back fields at the beginning of the experience! That timing of the gunshot was not by chance, I am sure!
I went outside to the driveway in hopes of maybe finding SOME evidence of my travel this morning; however, there was nothing to be found. However, my son DID call a short while later to let me know it WAS him in the back fields sighting in his guns to get ready for the hunting season that starts in a few days!
Monday, November 10, 2008
82) Symbolic Dream of Busy Life?
This is a first for my blog as I feel this experience is not a full OOB experience, however, the intensity and emotional impact it has left me with leaves me little doubt of it's importance. Therefore, I'm sharing it with you even though it appears to have personal symbolic meaning for my life right now.
As I have found, there is little OOB traveling done when there are many 'life issues' that need to be dealt with leaving little time and energy left for other pursuits. The Universe knows when I need time to focus on work, school, and family and this is one of those times. I know when the 'issues' settle, I'll return to my OOB experiences. I do hope, though, that it will be sooner than later!!
This dream was during a 'refresher' nap I had to take mid-day after being called into work at 3am for an emergency. What is interesting is that I felt the same strong transition upon waking as if awakening from an OBE. I am curious to know if anyone else can understand any of the symbology presented in this dream.
I'm calling it a dream because I have no recall of being 'out', yet I was an integral part of this lucid dream, as it unfolded in short little clips of different segments.
The first recollection I had was that I was watching someone skydiving, and suddenly was aware that there was problem with his chute! It had become tangled in what looked like a large tree trunk (with branches! lol) and he started spinning out of control.
Now, what is interesting is that I then felt like I BECAME this individual, as I could 'see' the spinning sensation of sky/earth/sky and knew I had to stop the spin and stablize the horizon to get my bearing as to what is up and down before attempting to release the stuck cords to the 'tree'. I remember 'hearing' this as HIS thoughts, as though I was within him. I even remember thinking to MYself, as I'm hearing his thoughts, "wow, I'm so impressed he can stay this calm with what is going on!"
Next recollection is watching him land safely, taking those few short steps as if the chute had deployed and the landing was uneventful. However, I 'knew' he had landed nowhere near where he had expected to be, and the few individuals who saw him were quite shocked at his sudden appearance! (I felt it was out west, New Mexico? came to mind, and it was quite flat and dry appearing)
Next segment was of people anxiously waiting outside a building for this man's arrival. There were dignitaries there (as noted by the sashes worn across their chests) and I felt the honoree was some sort of 'veteran'. Their emotions were felt to be of great concern, knowing this man had a problem that few could overcome, and they were saddened to think that he may not have made it through his difficulties. A few people started to walk away in tears, assuming he didn't make it.
The next segment was the MOST emotional for me, as I felt so totally absorbed by the event. I watched (and felt) such elation, joy, and pride as this man was making his entrance into a room full of people who were cheering and overjoyed at his arrival. There was music (I can still hear the drumming, patriotic type tune that made you just want to burst with pride!) and adoration that so encompassed the entire event, that I actually felt overwhelmed.
I slowly became aware of the fact it was a 'dream' as I felt that transition to waking consciousness on a very profound level as well, due to the extreme change in emotional response.
COMMENTARY:
I wish to thank Josh for his insight into one possible meaning for this dream and his encouraging words of support:
Wow, well that is quite a dream. I believe any such experience that provides you with the levels of feelings and emotions you have described should never be ignored. Even just the fact that you were wondering if it meant anything means that it did, at least that how it works for me.
If it was just a dream that was supposed to mean something, I believe your subconscious or your mind would have disregarded it as just that and there would have been no question. I think the real question is, what does it mean?
To me, it seems like this dream could mean a lot of different things. Maybe the person with the parachute problem is supposed to represent you . You are "spinning out of control" with how busy you are. Your personal parachute isn't working, but that isn't stopping you.
You just found another way to "land safely" without your original plan, the parachute. But, you are headstrong, self reliant, and confident. So when you were back on solid ground, you walked away from it as if there was no problem, even though you were in a familiar place.
Maybe the people crying, not thinking you made it, giving you up for lost or dead, maybe that represents anyone in your life (I'm assuming most in your life) that has looked at how your life was going and figured you just weren't going to make it. You weren't going to succeed. They gave you up for lost or dead and began mourning your failure before it even happened.
Then something happens, or happened, where you do succeed, and the people that are around you don't doubt you and celebrate your success. They don't care that you succeeded in an unconventional fasion, they are just happy to see you are where you can be happy.
Of course, this is just one possibility. That can really only work if the person in the dream represented you. It could have represented someone else, or even a force in your life. It's difficult to tell. But if I had to guess at it, that would be my take.
So what you have to do is take a step back, look at the dream for what it represents to you, and see if anything matches. If what I said aboslutely does not match with anything you feel it may mean, then you have to go with your gut instinct, because it is your mind that created the dream, after all. But, if anything I said matches with what may be going on, then that is a two to nothing shot for being what it means.
I believe our minds, our subconscious, unconscious, and souls are very cryptic, but by no means uninterpretable. I believe the only reason for all the symbolism is because it is difficult for something as high as our souls to communicate with something as low as our brains, so it does the best it cans to make sense of the information being processed. It isn't the fault of the mind, it is the fault of the brain.
__________________________________________
My 'gut' instinct was telling me it was very symbolic for something relating to my life right now. I feel that despite the apparent 'spinning out of control' I feel right now, that I would once again conquer the difficulties with eventual recognition for my hard work and effort. Josh was able to support many of my own feelings toward this experience, which validates for me the significance of its relationship to my life.
In hindsight, I was even thinking that the 'tree' that my lines were tangled in could have been symbolic of the 'tree of life'!! :) Thanks Josh!
__________________________________________
I wanted to add another commentary from Keith that I received that validates the same symbolism that Josh related to in his commentary. In hindsight now, a few days later, I have come to witness this exact 'spinning out of control' and 'releasing of cords' that the dream signified. Little did I know how 'calm and in control' I could be all due to the fact that I knew the ending WILL be happy, but perhaps just not as I expected!
Keith wrote:
You mentioned that your dream of the skydiving man was a very powerful emotional experience for you and that you welcome any insight from others. Please know that I've never read a "dream interpretation" book, so I'm far from being an expert in this area. However, for what it's worth here are my impressions:
--You were the "observer" of this dream, or drama, as it unfolded. There was a sense of "space" between you and the event. This indicates to me that you were able to maintain some sense of detachment even though this was such a powerful event for you. (Perhaps, your meditation is assisting you in observing things with more detachment.)
--The character in this drama that you identified most closely with was the man in the chute. His chute was entangled in a "tree with branches." I think you were correct in that this "tree" represents both the human family's "tree of life" and "your own family tree." The feelings were: "spinning out-of-control" and "plunging towards the earth." Both very apt imagery of aspects of your life experiences right now.
--You mentioned that he/you had to "stabilize" before he/you could "release" the stuck "cords" from the "tree." Each of these words I have put "quotation marks" around are rich in symbolism. Just sit with each for a moment and it will reveal itself to you.
--You mentioned that as you "observed" this event, you were able to get into "his" mind and experiences his thoughts. A part of you was so impressed at how calm he [might I suggest this is also the inner you] was.
--You mention that he landed safely, but it wasn't where he had "expected." Ah life, it truly is wonderful and amazing when we let go of expectation of how it "should" be and how it is "suppose" to be. I'm sure you can relate to these feelings so well.
--Finally, you mentioned that a group of people--you mention that these were dignitaries as signified by their sashes across their chests--had been waiting for this man's/your arrival. Might I suggest, that these are representative of the "spirit guides" you have been working with. They are beings whose "wisdom, experience, and power" are equal or greater than your own. Some of the people waiting could empathize with the difficulty of the journey you've been on and were concerned that "you/he" may not make it.
--You mention that this "homecoming" was the most emotional part of the dream for you. I find it so appropriate that this person/you seemed to be some kind of veteran. A "veteran" symbolizes one who has been refined through the heat of battle. This is a sending of "assurance" that you will "hear the music" and that you will make it and arrive safely home.
For you in this incidence, the "tune" you chose was a drumming "patriotic-type" tune. How beautiful and appropriate for a "soldier" who has arrived home from battle.
Anyway, these are my thoughts at this moment. Perhaps they will help you find more "space" to see this event with more clarity.
As I have found, there is little OOB traveling done when there are many 'life issues' that need to be dealt with leaving little time and energy left for other pursuits. The Universe knows when I need time to focus on work, school, and family and this is one of those times. I know when the 'issues' settle, I'll return to my OOB experiences. I do hope, though, that it will be sooner than later!!
This dream was during a 'refresher' nap I had to take mid-day after being called into work at 3am for an emergency. What is interesting is that I felt the same strong transition upon waking as if awakening from an OBE. I am curious to know if anyone else can understand any of the symbology presented in this dream.
I'm calling it a dream because I have no recall of being 'out', yet I was an integral part of this lucid dream, as it unfolded in short little clips of different segments.
The first recollection I had was that I was watching someone skydiving, and suddenly was aware that there was problem with his chute! It had become tangled in what looked like a large tree trunk (with branches! lol) and he started spinning out of control.
Now, what is interesting is that I then felt like I BECAME this individual, as I could 'see' the spinning sensation of sky/earth/sky and knew I had to stop the spin and stablize the horizon to get my bearing as to what is up and down before attempting to release the stuck cords to the 'tree'. I remember 'hearing' this as HIS thoughts, as though I was within him. I even remember thinking to MYself, as I'm hearing his thoughts, "wow, I'm so impressed he can stay this calm with what is going on!"
Next recollection is watching him land safely, taking those few short steps as if the chute had deployed and the landing was uneventful. However, I 'knew' he had landed nowhere near where he had expected to be, and the few individuals who saw him were quite shocked at his sudden appearance! (I felt it was out west, New Mexico? came to mind, and it was quite flat and dry appearing)
Next segment was of people anxiously waiting outside a building for this man's arrival. There were dignitaries there (as noted by the sashes worn across their chests) and I felt the honoree was some sort of 'veteran'. Their emotions were felt to be of great concern, knowing this man had a problem that few could overcome, and they were saddened to think that he may not have made it through his difficulties. A few people started to walk away in tears, assuming he didn't make it.
The next segment was the MOST emotional for me, as I felt so totally absorbed by the event. I watched (and felt) such elation, joy, and pride as this man was making his entrance into a room full of people who were cheering and overjoyed at his arrival. There was music (I can still hear the drumming, patriotic type tune that made you just want to burst with pride!) and adoration that so encompassed the entire event, that I actually felt overwhelmed.
I slowly became aware of the fact it was a 'dream' as I felt that transition to waking consciousness on a very profound level as well, due to the extreme change in emotional response.
COMMENTARY:
I wish to thank Josh for his insight into one possible meaning for this dream and his encouraging words of support:
Wow, well that is quite a dream. I believe any such experience that provides you with the levels of feelings and emotions you have described should never be ignored. Even just the fact that you were wondering if it meant anything means that it did, at least that how it works for me.
If it was just a dream that was supposed to mean something, I believe your subconscious or your mind would have disregarded it as just that and there would have been no question. I think the real question is, what does it mean?
To me, it seems like this dream could mean a lot of different things. Maybe the person with the parachute problem is supposed to represent you . You are "spinning out of control" with how busy you are. Your personal parachute isn't working, but that isn't stopping you.
You just found another way to "land safely" without your original plan, the parachute. But, you are headstrong, self reliant, and confident. So when you were back on solid ground, you walked away from it as if there was no problem, even though you were in a familiar place.
Maybe the people crying, not thinking you made it, giving you up for lost or dead, maybe that represents anyone in your life (I'm assuming most in your life) that has looked at how your life was going and figured you just weren't going to make it. You weren't going to succeed. They gave you up for lost or dead and began mourning your failure before it even happened.
Then something happens, or happened, where you do succeed, and the people that are around you don't doubt you and celebrate your success. They don't care that you succeeded in an unconventional fasion, they are just happy to see you are where you can be happy.
Of course, this is just one possibility. That can really only work if the person in the dream represented you. It could have represented someone else, or even a force in your life. It's difficult to tell. But if I had to guess at it, that would be my take.
So what you have to do is take a step back, look at the dream for what it represents to you, and see if anything matches. If what I said aboslutely does not match with anything you feel it may mean, then you have to go with your gut instinct, because it is your mind that created the dream, after all. But, if anything I said matches with what may be going on, then that is a two to nothing shot for being what it means.
I believe our minds, our subconscious, unconscious, and souls are very cryptic, but by no means uninterpretable. I believe the only reason for all the symbolism is because it is difficult for something as high as our souls to communicate with something as low as our brains, so it does the best it cans to make sense of the information being processed. It isn't the fault of the mind, it is the fault of the brain.
__________________________________________
My 'gut' instinct was telling me it was very symbolic for something relating to my life right now. I feel that despite the apparent 'spinning out of control' I feel right now, that I would once again conquer the difficulties with eventual recognition for my hard work and effort. Josh was able to support many of my own feelings toward this experience, which validates for me the significance of its relationship to my life.
In hindsight, I was even thinking that the 'tree' that my lines were tangled in could have been symbolic of the 'tree of life'!! :) Thanks Josh!
__________________________________________
I wanted to add another commentary from Keith that I received that validates the same symbolism that Josh related to in his commentary. In hindsight now, a few days later, I have come to witness this exact 'spinning out of control' and 'releasing of cords' that the dream signified. Little did I know how 'calm and in control' I could be all due to the fact that I knew the ending WILL be happy, but perhaps just not as I expected!
Keith wrote:
You mentioned that your dream of the skydiving man was a very powerful emotional experience for you and that you welcome any insight from others. Please know that I've never read a "dream interpretation" book, so I'm far from being an expert in this area. However, for what it's worth here are my impressions:
--You were the "observer" of this dream, or drama, as it unfolded. There was a sense of "space" between you and the event. This indicates to me that you were able to maintain some sense of detachment even though this was such a powerful event for you. (Perhaps, your meditation is assisting you in observing things with more detachment.)
--The character in this drama that you identified most closely with was the man in the chute. His chute was entangled in a "tree with branches." I think you were correct in that this "tree" represents both the human family's "tree of life" and "your own family tree." The feelings were: "spinning out-of-control" and "plunging towards the earth." Both very apt imagery of aspects of your life experiences right now.
--You mentioned that he/you had to "stabilize" before he/you could "release" the stuck "cords" from the "tree." Each of these words I have put "quotation marks" around are rich in symbolism. Just sit with each for a moment and it will reveal itself to you.
--You mentioned that as you "observed" this event, you were able to get into "his" mind and experiences his thoughts. A part of you was so impressed at how calm he [might I suggest this is also the inner you] was.
--You mention that he landed safely, but it wasn't where he had "expected." Ah life, it truly is wonderful and amazing when we let go of expectation of how it "should" be and how it is "suppose" to be. I'm sure you can relate to these feelings so well.
--Finally, you mentioned that a group of people--you mention that these were dignitaries as signified by their sashes across their chests--had been waiting for this man's/your arrival. Might I suggest, that these are representative of the "spirit guides" you have been working with. They are beings whose "wisdom, experience, and power" are equal or greater than your own. Some of the people waiting could empathize with the difficulty of the journey you've been on and were concerned that "you/he" may not make it.
--You mention that this "homecoming" was the most emotional part of the dream for you. I find it so appropriate that this person/you seemed to be some kind of veteran. A "veteran" symbolizes one who has been refined through the heat of battle. This is a sending of "assurance" that you will "hear the music" and that you will make it and arrive safely home.
For you in this incidence, the "tune" you chose was a drumming "patriotic-type" tune. How beautiful and appropriate for a "soldier" who has arrived home from battle.
Anyway, these are my thoughts at this moment. Perhaps they will help you find more "space" to see this event with more clarity.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
81) Controlling Thoughts; Incomplete Memories
11/03/08
I moved to my ‘traveling couch’ as usual and used my visualizations and affirmations to get into the right mind state as I fell back to sleep. Here is where I become aware of being in vibrations, with short light bursts of vibrations at first. Knowing this is my signal I am about to move out, I affirm and intensify these vibrations, willing them to become stronger and stronger.
At the height of intensity, I make my move and find instead of ‘rolling out’ as I usually do, I practically jump out of my body! Once again I am amazed at the clarity of my senses…no blindness, no pulling or tugging, just perfect vision and a flowing ease of movement.
Easily I glide to the door, not even having to consciously ‘affirm’ my intentions... just thinking of the door starts my movement!
My brother Wayne was here and talking to someone about something he wasn’t supposed to have done. I knew it was middle of the night, and wondered why he was here so late. I was in the front yard and remembered I had wanted to do “inward now!”
However, my attention was on his truck as he climbed into it to drive away. I flew to the top of the truck, and was surprised to see my dog Buddy on top with me! As he starts to drive away, I jump down and decide I’d like to try to race him, knowing I could go as fast as I wanted with only my intention.
Having decided to test my speeding abilities, I forgot about wanting to do inward now. I see him driving fast down the local road, and I race to catch up alongside him. I’m doing the ‘Superman’ pose, and thinking very clearly that it is my thoughts that are driving my actions. I am enjoying the speed as I see oncoming traffic heading toward me. I briefly think about a potential collision, yet still knowing that I would just pass through anything that I encountered. However, I took note that my speed slowed down upon the very thought of fear and potential collision.
The scene transitioned to another room where my brother was talking with someone about being accused wrongly of something, and I knew he was starting up with some sort of drama that I didn’t want to participate in. As left the room, I noticed two young female twins, about aged 10, that were very familiar, smiling at me. I knew I had seen them before, yet could not remember where.
Once into the hallway, I remembered I wanted to do ‘Inward now!’ and did so. I immediately had the usual movement sensation and found myself still in the hallway, but with my vision now clouded and hazy. I could hear a ball game playing on the radio or TV, and twice yelled out, “is anyone there?” There was no response and I tried to move, yet found my movements awkward and difficult.
The rest of the experience is only vague snapshots of memories that I recorded without any cohesiveness. I know I was looking for a young teacher who was needed to teach ‘newborn’ and ‘6-12’ (?) There were ‘other’ temporary teachers there, as they were ‘covering’ for others, because there were many other ‘missing’ teachers . I was there introducing myself, and do not recall what I was to do, but I do know computers somehow played a part in my role there.
This was not one of my best OBE’s, yet it started with such clarity of vision and thinking. I just don’t know what is going on with my OBEs in that I feel I am not having the great learning experiences I have had in the past.
This may in part be due to the high level of stress and time constraints that I feel I have in my personal and professional life right now. So, I guess, it just may be that I need to be a bit more patient in my endeavors and know that when the time is right, my learning experiences will return in full bloom. Patience is a virtue, but it IS a difficult one for me!
I moved to my ‘traveling couch’ as usual and used my visualizations and affirmations to get into the right mind state as I fell back to sleep. Here is where I become aware of being in vibrations, with short light bursts of vibrations at first. Knowing this is my signal I am about to move out, I affirm and intensify these vibrations, willing them to become stronger and stronger.
At the height of intensity, I make my move and find instead of ‘rolling out’ as I usually do, I practically jump out of my body! Once again I am amazed at the clarity of my senses…no blindness, no pulling or tugging, just perfect vision and a flowing ease of movement.
Easily I glide to the door, not even having to consciously ‘affirm’ my intentions... just thinking of the door starts my movement!
My brother Wayne was here and talking to someone about something he wasn’t supposed to have done. I knew it was middle of the night, and wondered why he was here so late. I was in the front yard and remembered I had wanted to do “inward now!”
However, my attention was on his truck as he climbed into it to drive away. I flew to the top of the truck, and was surprised to see my dog Buddy on top with me! As he starts to drive away, I jump down and decide I’d like to try to race him, knowing I could go as fast as I wanted with only my intention.
Having decided to test my speeding abilities, I forgot about wanting to do inward now. I see him driving fast down the local road, and I race to catch up alongside him. I’m doing the ‘Superman’ pose, and thinking very clearly that it is my thoughts that are driving my actions. I am enjoying the speed as I see oncoming traffic heading toward me. I briefly think about a potential collision, yet still knowing that I would just pass through anything that I encountered. However, I took note that my speed slowed down upon the very thought of fear and potential collision.
The scene transitioned to another room where my brother was talking with someone about being accused wrongly of something, and I knew he was starting up with some sort of drama that I didn’t want to participate in. As left the room, I noticed two young female twins, about aged 10, that were very familiar, smiling at me. I knew I had seen them before, yet could not remember where.
Once into the hallway, I remembered I wanted to do ‘Inward now!’ and did so. I immediately had the usual movement sensation and found myself still in the hallway, but with my vision now clouded and hazy. I could hear a ball game playing on the radio or TV, and twice yelled out, “is anyone there?” There was no response and I tried to move, yet found my movements awkward and difficult.
The rest of the experience is only vague snapshots of memories that I recorded without any cohesiveness. I know I was looking for a young teacher who was needed to teach ‘newborn’ and ‘6-12’ (?) There were ‘other’ temporary teachers there, as they were ‘covering’ for others, because there were many other ‘missing’ teachers . I was there introducing myself, and do not recall what I was to do, but I do know computers somehow played a part in my role there.
This was not one of my best OBE’s, yet it started with such clarity of vision and thinking. I just don’t know what is going on with my OBEs in that I feel I am not having the great learning experiences I have had in the past.
This may in part be due to the high level of stress and time constraints that I feel I have in my personal and professional life right now. So, I guess, it just may be that I need to be a bit more patient in my endeavors and know that when the time is right, my learning experiences will return in full bloom. Patience is a virtue, but it IS a difficult one for me!
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