176) Attempt to Meet a Friend

My OOB experiences have been less frequent than usual, likely due to my lack of focus on making this a priority in my life at this time.  However, I am thrilled to know I still can get out and enjoy that freedom and fun that each realization of being out of body brings me. 

I had decided prior to bedtime to do the WBTB method as usual, and this time try to meet up with a good friend who lives overseas.  He also has been getting OOB more frequently, and so I thought maybe I could connect with him.

I found myself out twice last night, with the first time a bit unusual in that I felt I had not even finished my induction visualizations when I realized my legs were already floating!   I felt like I was still wide awake but knew enough to not bother to analyze this floating situation, so I just acted on it.

Instead of rolling out as usual, I decided to ‘follow my legs’ and gently floated the rest of my body straight up and to the ceiling!  Once there, I wanted to be outside immediately and so headed directly out the sliding door nearby.

I could feel the cool crisp nighttime air and used the affirmations ‘clarity now!’ and ‘awareness now’ to clear up any remaining ‘fog’ in my thinking.  I remember flying over the porch railing and out over the yard below.  I flew up high with such happiness as I was SO enjoying this freedom of flight! 

I see below me the forests and rolling hills and up ahead I noticed a cityscape, lit up in wondrous colors against the nighttime sky.  Before I get to the city, I swoop down near the ground and roll over on my back, face up, surprised to now feel gentle ‘pings’ of rain hitting my body and face.  I wonder if it’s really raining ‘in real life’, but don’t think too much more of it, just enjoying the sensations.

I fly to the city, and find myself stopping in front of one particular house and assume I’m supposed to meet someone here.  I started climbing up the little hill that is just in front of it and as I get to the top, I see a young boy walking down the driveway towards me.

I feel like I need to get his attention and so I pick up a small stick and throw it at his feet.  He stops, looks at me (or at least in my direction) and I ask, ‘Who are you?’   I get the feeling he is slightly fearful, unsure of what to do next, and I’m not even sure he actually saw me or just felt the stick hit his legs. 

I was a bit disappointed to realize at this point I had that ‘pullback’ sensation and quickly found myself back in bed.

I was determined to get out again, and this time to remember my intention to meet up with my friend.  I was thrilled to realize after a short time that once again I felt the slight buzzing and moved to the door after rolling out. 

Again, I rolled over on my back to gaze up at the billions and billions of beautiful stars twinkling above me, in awe of such beauty and the massive number that I could see while OOB.  It was at this point I remember I wanted to meet my friend (and I’m now thinking it may have been these stars that signaled this memory, as we talk a lot about his love for astronomy and how beautiful the stars and galaxies are when seen through his telescopes.)

So I now know what I want to do, and I am determined to get there.  Floating gently and slowly, I realize I must do something to move faster and so shout out loudly “To (his name)!”  a few times, and I emphasize each word with emotion to see if that will move me faster.  It almost felt as if I screamed this affirmation out loud, there was so much energy put into it!

I was please to feel myself moving, faster and faster, and soon was within a silver tunnel that had beautiful colors swirling around within it.  (This was a first for me, as most times the tunnel is black and dark as I move from one area to another).  I was comforted to hear the ‘roaring’ sound that always accompanies this movement, and as I neared the end of the tunnel, I could see it open up into a forested area. 

I landed on a well-worn dirt pathway that had trees along both sides of the road creating a canopy of leaves overhead.   Looking down the road, I see my friend walking briskly toward me, accompanied by two dogs that are running on ahead.  I’m thrilled, as this is a likely scene to find him in as he frequently takes long hikes through mountains and forests.

I’m a bit confused at first, because I know he has only one dog and I definitely see two, both short-haired and of similar size and color.   I don’t question it then, but in hindsight, I realize that it could likely have been his beloved dog Tigger who passed on previously who was accompanying him and his current dog Ruby on the walk.

                                                        

I didn’t get a good look at them because just as I was calling out his name, the dogs turned around to follow him as he veered off to a trail that went in another direction!  I remember hollering after him to not leave me just as I got there!

I decide to follow him and after a slight transition in scenes, I watch as he goes into this building that is not his house.  It’s a workshop of sorts and I’m desperately trying to find out what he’s doing there.  He is just not paying any attention to me, even as I swoop very close and yell, ‘can you hear me?’

I turn to a woman who is next to me as ask her, “why can’t he hear me?” and she starts rambling on about something that didn’t relate to my question and made no sense at all.  I said ‘thank you’ and moved on, now realizing I was in some sort of ‘astral city’ where many people go when OOB.

Looking around, I see all sorts of people all busy building and constructing things, collecting their tools and getting supplies to create what they wish.  My friend was in his glory, searching for the best wood and tools to put together something he was intent on building.  I even saw my brother there, also working diligently building something with deep intent and joy. 

I had the feeling that whatever you wanted to create was allowed here, as everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves yet oblivious to any other activity than what they were intent on working on.  I remember watching one group of people in another area collect items for an excursion of some kind, getting lifejackets and boats together for a group adventure.

The only other memory of this experience I had was being with two girls who had created some sort of dietary ‘supplement’ that was supposed to give you energy and they wanted me to try it.  I was resistant because it looked like small round white filament type spikes that I felt could harm me if I ingested it.

The experience ends at this point, and although I was a bit disappointed that my friend didn’t acknowledge me, I at least felt comforted that I had the conscious recall while OOB of what I had set out to do and had another magnificent time flying so freely!

175) Oceania; False Awakenings

17 May 2012

It’s been a rough few weeks for me as many of you know with health issues and many other personal issues that present as ‘bumps’ in the road of life right now.  Because of this emotional and physical turmoil at times, my OOB experiences have been less than normal in both frequency and content.

However, about a week ago I had an experience meeting someone who had passed that I will share with you now along with last night’s experience that had a few symbolic images, as well as an interesting turn of events.

Last week’s experience was a full OBE with much clarity and control, and I so enjoying getting out again!  I woke in full awareness that I could just roll out of body, which I did with ease.  My bedroom was so clear and I effortlessly floated out of the room and down the stairs. 

My vision was perfect, the house looked just as it does, and I remember making things even better by using ALL my affirmations at some point, including ‘clarity now!’, ‘vision now!’ and even ‘awareness now!’. 

Giving a little jump and flip off the stairs into the living room, I was so thrilled to be out again!  I wondered if I could just pass through the floor into the basement and started to do so, but realizing it was rather dark down there, I decided I’d better do something worthwhile.

I affirmed, ‘Take me to where I need to be!’ and at that point, was drawn into the wall by the fireplace.  I passed through the wall VERY slowly, feeling every bit of the change in texture, almost thinking that I might not be able to get through it without suffocating.

As I passed through the wall, instead of outdoors, I found myself in what felt to be a ‘another life’ in this same house, where there was a celebration of some sort going on.  All my family members were there having a grand time, happy and boisterous, sharing food and drink and good times.

However, I somehow felt ‘left out’ once I saw my sister and her fiancé there and how happy they were.  Knowing I was alone without a partner, I felt envious of their loving relationship and I became aware of being of ‘two’ minds.  I was this current OOB Karen, able to read the thoughts and feelings of this other Karen who knew she was missing out on the ‘fun’ here because I/she was allowing our mood to be colored by this feeling of ‘poor me’ and ‘pity me’ that I/we were experiencing.  I was moping around, not wanting to celebrate because I/we did not have what I perceived others to have.

It was rather confusing to be of ‘two’ minds, yet I knew somehow this was part of ‘me’ and yet not part of me.  I feel likely there was a lesson here for me, especially pertaining to current life events.

My next memory was of a transition back to the bedroom as it really is, and seeing an older gentleman in the corner of the room.  He told me he was a friend of my son, his name was Oceania, and he was a sailor.  He had a thin beard, wore a sailor’s cap and jovially proceeded to share his many ‘tales of the sea’ with me. 

At some point, we started to discuss the topic of where he’s at, as he’s telling me how great it was when he first got ‘here’, because he remembered how bad his physical life was.  He’s now not sure this is as good a place as he needs to be in anymore.   He feels maybe there is more to do elsewhere, and it was here that I knew I was to help him move on.  I know I told him there is always something more to do and that he can move on if he wished.  Memories are very limited as to exactly what happened because as you will read next, a false awakening that followed limited my recollections once again.

It was right after this experience that I felt someone actually under me in the bed I was lying in!  Seeing the blankets all messed up, I thought it was those, but then realized it was my daughter who had come into the bed with me! (In actuality my daughter is 2000 miles away in California).

She tells me she wanted to surprise me and come home and she was exhausted from racing home to be with me.  I thought it was strange to have her here, but also knew I had just had this Oceania meeting and wanted to get it recorded.

So I told her, “We can talk more after I get this last experience recorded” and proceed to turn on the recorder.  Realizing that the recorder wasn’t working (a signal that I’m not fully awake), I forced myself to ‘pull back’ to a lighter awareness, and proceeded once again to record all about Oceania. 

Again, I realized things weren’t working right, and so had to pull back one more time, this time to full wakefulness where I could record successfully but also realizing that my daughter really wasn’t in the bed with me!

These false awakenings always are so frustrating as I seem to know that they are somehow meant to deter me from having full memory recall of whatever I just experienced.

Last night’s experience was similar in some respects to this false awakening, but the first two memories of lucidity that night were more symbolic I believe.  First, I remember walking into a gym like building where I had ‘worked out’ many times before.  I had not been here in a long time and was greeted as I entered by a woman who hollered out “Hi, happy to see you again!” as I entered. 

Once inside, I could see grass growing up where I used to work out, indicating I hadn’t been there in a while and was long overdue.  I know it felt good to be back, but what I was doing I have no clue!

Another recall involved what I called ‘astral vision’ as I knew I was fully awake and in bed, but watching scenes roll past that I was a part of.  I don’t remember much except seeing many different places I had lived, including one with buildings that were ravaged by war.

In this last experience, I became lucid when I felt someone ‘physically’ climb over me to get into the bed alongside me!  Again it was my daughter!  However, this time I was lucid enough to know that it was not ‘real’, and I start talking to her and telling her things like, “Are you going to remember you are here with me?….Are you here because there is something you need to tell me?......”Did you know you are dreaming right now?' (as I knew I was OOB in bed since she is still in California).

While I”m trying to find out what 'message' she had for me by being there.....she starts talking to me…and she was able to turn the tables and convince ME that it wasn't a dream, that she was really right there!!!

She was being silly like she sometimes does, laughing and having fun and even had me 'feel' her leg to prove she was physically there.  I swear I could physically feel her leg!  She playfully covered her head with the blankets, and even started to sneeze, but stopped.

I was so confused and I thought, 'Wow, maybe you ARE here! So how and when did you get home?”   I now thought maybe I was wrong and that she WAS really home!  She was laughingly having fun with my confusion and it was such a surprise to me when I woke fully and saw she WASN'T really there!!!

I will say that my daughter IS due to come home to stay with me by the end of June when her husband deploys, so perhaps that is part of the reason I was so easily convinced that she was truly here!

174) OBE During my Hospitalization

April 23, 2012  

During the course of my prolonged hospital stay, I had had a series of lucid dreams and even one OBE that I can recall.  Unfortunately, being in the hospital environment, being woken quickly and without recorder or even paper available at all times, the amount of recall is quite limited.  In addition, due to the need for some very strong mind-altering pain medicines, not all dreams were coherent and able to be described.

The lucid dreams I had during this stay were ones where I knew I was dreaming, yet did not feel in control (likely due to the medicine).  I remember one being in a ship, watching the waves roll, thrilled with how big they were getting.  I was never fearful, even at one point where I felt the wave pick up the entire ship and fly it through the air as it was tossed over a long distance.    I knew I was safe and the landing would be easy. 

However, the one OBE I did have had some interesting points despite it being a bit more like a lucid dream where I played along with the action that happened, but in the fully aware state of being out of body.

My first recollection was that of rolling out, but finding myself standing next to my sleeping body in a bedroom I was not familiar with.  Moving in the room, I wasn’t completely convinced I was truly out of body as the environment was different and there were all these other people in the room trying to convince me that I was NOT out of body!  

Looking around, I noticed a digital clock on the shelf nearby.   I was thrilled to see that the display was unreadable, a validation for me that I was out of body as I have used this signal before.    However, still not completely convinced as those around me were persistent, I made myself look away and back again, and when it remained unreadable, I felt firmly validated now that I was indeed out of body.

There was a big glass door leading to a balcony from this room and wanting to get outside, I passed easily through the doors.  On the balcony, I looked down and saw I was about 10 stories high, looking onto a city street below.  Knowing I was out of body, I thought about just jumping off the edge and flying down, but again, those people in the room are doing their best to convince me that I’m NOT out of body!

Now I have some doubts again and hesitate jumping.   The people show me the broken screen on the door, saying “look, you broke that screen as you passed through the door, so you are not out of body!”  Somehow, I just knew I was, but taking it cautiously, I did some slow handstands on the edge of the balcony, feeling myself float and then doing a little jump and flip while holding on with one hand. 

Now fully convinced that I would not be doing this unless I WAS out of body, I fearless jumped and floated gently down to the street level. 

Memories here of exactly what I did are hazy.  I was with a group of three young people, two boys and a girl, in a car, making plans.  I was asked if I wanted to go to this dance with them, and initially said no because I didn’t think I was dressed appropriately.   I quickly changed my mind and said ok when they insisted.   Now noticing how well dressed (suit and tie) one male was to go to this dance, I knew I had to return to my room to change, as I remembered I had just bought a few beautiful dresses and some new underclothes that would be appropriate.

I told them I’d be right back, and proceeded to fly along the street, gathering stares and stunned looks from the people on the sidewalk as I flew up to my balcony where my bedroom was. 

Just outside the balcony I noticed a computer like screen that I felt was the way I needed to go to enter into the room.  I was concerned that I would not fit into this little screen, and looking toward the bedroom wall, knew that all I had to do was pass through it, so I did!

I’m now in my bedroom and standing alongside my bed, looking at myself sleeping!  Looking away quickly, I worried that I might return to body if I got too close or looked too long.    Telling myself, ‘no, I  will stay out of body’, I turned again to look at myself on the bed. 

I was a bit taken aback to see that I had changed into a deranged looking and disfigured woman, with some sort of dark ugly ‘blob’ next to me on the bed, somehow knowing this also was a part of me.  I did not panic or become fearful, but just wondered why I was being presented to myself this way.  Without further thought, I remembered the dance, and proceeded to get dressed.

I had to search a bit for these new dresses, deciding the melon colored one would be perfect.   As I’m dressing, I was startled to see that one of the males from the car had flown up to the balcony door and was peering in at me!  I was surprised he could do so, but then also knew that he was ‘special’ and something more than the others.  He made some comment about not having seen such beauty in a long time and it was at this point that I have no further recall.

173) Sending Myself Healing Energy

2012_04_15

This is the first OBE that I have had since I became very ill two weeks ago and was hospitalized. I’m home now and recovering slowly, and am thankful to be able to still get out of body despite the less-than-optimal state of health.

I became aware when I found myself visiting another house where I felt I was ‘staying’ as a visitor. I can recall knowing I was out of body, but wondered why I felt so sluggish and slow. To prove to myself I was out of body, I managed to do some slow flips and little jumps that confirmed my state of being.

The next recall was lifting higher and higher, looking down on my own house. As I came down into my house, I moved from room to room, viewing everything from ceiling level. Passing from the dining room to the kitchen, I intentionally made myself pass through the wall, and thoroughly enjoyed the feel of the ‘crackling’ sensation as I did. This only continued to confirm to me that I was out and in control.

Heading back to the living room, I passed by a large mirror that is there in real life. I see my reflection and continue on past. Seeing myself, it makes me remember that I had wanted to send healing energy to my body should I find myself out again and so moved toward the bedroom.

In the next moment, I stopped to think, ‘hey, if I can see myself in the mirror, maybe I can just send energy to my body via my reflection!” Somehow I knew I just didn’t want to get close to my physical body as I would likely return without sending healing.

Facing the mirror, I remember putting my hands up next to my reflection and moving them across my abdomen and head , two areas where I still have discomfort in real life. (I am amazed that the clarity of thought allowed me to remember where I hurt!)

I remember thinking, ‘send energy!’, but did not feel or see anything unusual happening. I do remember paying attention at my face in the mirror and concerned that it was a sad and tired looking Karen, definitely not one of my better appearances.

I became distracted at the arrival of my son coming into the room and being playful and silly. He paid no attention to me, and after a few minutes, he looked out the door, saw something that felt to be urgent and took off.

It was at this point I felt the tug back to body and found myself awake on the bed. Although this was a relatively short and passive sort of OBE, at least I remembered I had the intention of sending myself some healing.

172) Sending Love; Flexing Door; Flying Again

2012_04_01

My first recollection of ‘awareness’ started with a surprised sensation of a hand firmly gripped on my right shoulder as I lay in bed. Bringing myself to full awareness, I realized someone or something was firmly attached to my back and holding onto my shoulder.

I remembered I had had this feeling once before, as it was accompanied as before with a sense of ‘concern’ and slight negativity. Knowing not to show fear, I attempted to twist to see who or what it was, and then finally having to swing it around so it was now in front of me.

What I saw was a man, a more ‘solid’ or heavier outline of a man standing off to my right. I did not get ‘good’ feelings from him, and I know I spoke with him, but the overwhelming feeling was that I needed to ‘send love’ to ‘let go’ of him.

I affirmed without fear, “I send you love!” and he disappeared!

My next awareness was again lying in bed in FULL vibrations! I’m excited to think I’ll be getting out, so I attempt to roll without trying to wait for more to happen! I find it difficult this time, and it’s like pulling taffy to get my body out. Finally, with only my head hanging off the bed, I remember that Jo used to described herself as ‘slithering’ out of bed to the floor sometimes in order to exit, so that’s just what I did!

Now I’m fully out and affirm, ‘to the door’! Now heading down the stairs, my vision is dim, so I remember affirming ‘Vision now!’ a few times. Once in the living room, I notice it looks nearly the same as real life, however, as usual in the astral, I also remembered there are always a few things different.

I saw a cute little white kitten off to one side, and felt I should to investigate, however, I also saw the front door which reminded me I so wanted to get outdoors again!

Disregarding the pull to the kitten, I move to the front door, and stop to think, ‘it’s been so long since I’ve taken the time to really sense the change in texture as I pass through’ that I wanted to just revel in the fact that I could put my hands through the front door.

When I did, I was ‘shocked’ in every sense of the word! I ‘felt’ an uncomfortable sensation as if being shocked, and remarked to myself that this was quite unusual!!! However, undaunted, and fully aware that I could not really be hurt, I insisted now I was going to get outdoors!

I push through the door, finding it ‘heavy’ and thick, flexing and bowing out as I pushed. It was as if I was not supposed to leave, but my determination was such that with an emotional ‘to the outdoors!’ I found myself on the front stoop.

I take off flying once again, to the top of the pine trees near me and put out my hand to feel the needles. It was here that I somehow transitioned to another place, not really sure how I got there.

I’m standing next to two men with desks, with a feeling this is their ‘place of work’. I’m talking and laughing with them, having a great time.

Turning around, I can see in front of their desks that the floor just stops about 8 foot away, and it drops off (like a cliff) into the most beautiful vista below!! It was almost like looking down off a cloud or some sort of ‘flat surface’ cliff! I saw an entire ‘world’ below…lights, clouds, cities, trees, forests, all at once.

Standing at the edge, I exclaim, ‘you’ve got the best job in the world! Look at this view!’ and the guy is laughing at my joy in loving where he ‘worked’. I said, ‘you could just fly to anywhere you want to at any time!’

With that statement, I jumped fearlessly into the open air below! I was thrilled with my soaring and flying and remember thinking how MUCH I missed doing this!

The last part of this experience was more ‘dream-like’ but I’ll describe it as it was part of this same sequence.

I find myself in a small area, like a personal living space, trying to hide from the man who lives/works there. I feel he is an older uniformed man, much like an officer or fireman. I am near his bed and shelf area where he puts his personal belongings.

Initially, I was afraid he could see me, but realized I could not be seen when he left the room. I investigated what he had on his shelf, and was moving the stuff around to see all that was there.

He returns to the room and I watch as he comes to the shelf area and I can hear his thoughts. He’s thinking that someone must have come into his room and moved the items on the shelf, yet he knew that he only left a moment ago and no one came in!

He’s wondering if he’s ‘going nuts’ in seeing this stuff moved, and worried that it might be some medication he was just started on by his doctor causing him to ‘see things’. Shrugging it off, he says, ‘oh well, as long as I stay ‘ok’ for this (house burn/demolition) coming up’ and continued on about his business.

I have no recollection of what happened after that, because at this point I knew I had to start ‘imprinting’ the highlights in my memory as I was returning. Using key words as I always do, I tried to ingrain my subconscious with the simple words that will allow me to recall enough to record, which I did as soon as I fully awakened.

171) Party Time! Meeting Many; Being a Writer

2012_03_18

I had a series of dream like memories prior to getting out of body which I will mention here just in case someone has some clue if it fits. I was riding in a child’s wagon that was being pulled by a small motorcycle, but really appeared to be a glorified child’s motorized bike.

A family member (whom I have had to do a lot of forgiveness to in my life to overcome some major blockages) was driving the cycle, however, I was concerned for two reasons. We were driving down a major highway near me, and his abilities to function were declining (I felt he was slurring his words and such).

So I took over the controls and was still a bit apprehensive about driving this very small motorbike down a major highway! I am wondering if this can even make it, not knowing where I am driving to nor how to get there!

At one point when I was stopped to eat something, I talked to a man who appeared and told him of my concern that this small bike was not going to make it to the destination on such a major highway. He told me to not worry, that it had ‘a lot of power’ to it and would do just fine!

Now, my next thoughts were that I was ready to roll out of body! It was an easy exit, but upon standing by the bed, I felt a bit disoriented and need to put myself right side up! Vision was dim, and I was able to improve it by affirming ‘vision now!’ (I see I change the wording of these affirmations without really knowing why!)

As I left my bedroom and turned the corner, I was startled when a group of three women and a few young people started talking to me, saying ‘hey, look who’s here!’ with such exuberance and joy that I had to take a moment to compose myself, wondering just who are these people and what are they doing in my house!?!? Lol

I was immediately caught up in their happiness in seeing me, and knowing I was out of body, wanted to get their names so I could remember them upon waking! Each gave me their names, and I tried desperately to ‘imprint’ it, but the only name I remember is ‘Charlotte Daly’ (Daily?) The rest of the names were lost with the huge amount of information that was being taken in as they told me all about themselves.

In the background I could see another woman, a quiet one as I felt she didn’t speak English well. She had shorter, curly, light colored hair and I was told, ‘She’s with (my daughter-in-law’s name). (I will have to speak with my son’s wife to see if she knows of her)

Looking around, I realized I was within a huge room, full of young people of all types and it felt to be as if a party was going on! Everyone so happy and talkative and I was gathering so much information to remember, I just couldn’t imprint it all!

At one point, I remember a group of young people asking, ‘What is the name of this place?’ and can remember thinking to myself the word ‘Afterlife’. A few of them told me what name they felt it to be but my answer to them was something to the effect that ‘Why does it have to have a name for it?’ explaining that there are SO many names for this place, yet it really didn’t matter what you called it. What was important was that everyone was having such a grand time there!

Another woman at the party wore a dressing on her neck, and it reminded me of a dressing we’d use for a tracheostomy. I thought perhaps she had had one prior to passing for a long time and that’s why it was still necessary as part of her look.

In another part of the room, I was now sitting on the couch having a ton of fun and laughs, and all at once a young boy falls into my lap, not moving!! It’s like he ‘flops down dead’, as if trying to ‘freak me out’ and it doesn’t work as I just laugh with the rest of them saying, “Ooops, looks like we have another dead one!” (Gosh, I do hope no one takes offense to this but it’s what happened!)

Another part of the party I was speaking to a woman and asked her, “Why are all the people here so young?” as I had the sense they were all under age 40 and some much younger. She said something like, “Well, we didn’t want to scare you with how we really appeared” and I immediately understood and said, ‘oh yes! Of course! You take on the best appearance for all concerned!” and with that, she glowed with pleasure claiming to everyone, “Ooo, we have a smart one here! She has her stuff all together!” and walked off to tell others about me.

Now, the most interesting part of this experience is when I was speaking with this woman who asked to see my hand. Looking at my palm, she said, ‘let me see if you are a healer’ and said there is ‘some’ there, but then she took my first finger (right hand), put the nailbed directly against her eye and proclaimed excitedly, “Oooooh! You’re a writer!!!”

I was thrilled to hear this, and thanked her, explaining this was such a validation I needed to hear. Another woman comes running up and asks, “Show me how you did that! I want to see!” and the first woman explains something about having to look at the tagus (?) tangus (?) part of the finger, and putting it directly up to your eye to see!

The first woman explained it’s better to be a writer for me, at least I didn’t have to ‘bend’ or ‘bend over’ (?) being a healer…..

So, that’s what I have for this experience….the entire feel for this one was of fun, laughter, and learning! I think I’ll just have to invite more people more often into my life!

170) Diffusing Emotions; Family Concerns

March 1, 2012

My first recollection for this experience was the fact that there were two people holding my hands, one on each side of the bed I was lying in, trying to get my attention. This brought me to full ‘awareness’ in realizing that I was likely transitioning into the astral vibration.

I saw a man and a woman, both appeared Hispanic, with the woman on my left, and the male on my right. I asked, ‘who’s there?’ to the woman told me her name (Gabrique? Gabrie…?) We started to talk, and the conversation was polite and friendly at first, and I recall asking them where they met (as I could tell they were together as a couple), and they told me all about how they met in a pizza shop, with him as the pizza maker.

During the conversation at one point (which I totally forgot any further details), the woman leaned down to whisper in my left ear something about being fearful and/or anxious with the male. I because aware of an uneasy tension that developed in the room and the atmosphere changed dramatically.

Now the male seemed to become angry, and bent down to talk in my right ear, telling me ‘negative’ things about her. I was taken aback at the change of energy into angry emotions and I knew I had to diffuse the situation quickly.

I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I do remember that initially I felt I did NOT do the right thing and realized the futility of it. I found myself yelling back at them, getting caught up in their emotional energy and sending my OWN emotions back at them (this is hard to describe as I felt I was actually showing/doing/feeling these emotions more than speaking them).

I realized this was not working, and so knew I had to ‘send love’ and tell them how much they WERE loved, that they are loving beings and a good person despite what they had been through in life. I felt they needed to know that they were loved…so I said, “I love you”…”you are loved”….”you are good people’….

This seemed to change their ‘energy’ immediately, and they became very light and happy again, happy and content with each other. They were able to work out their issues immediately and I even told them, “I bet you’ll be able to find other people now!”, meaning there would be other family and friends now available to meet. They both were so excited to think they’d be able to do that! I asked the male again what his name was and I think he responded, “Henry” or “Enrique”? I could still feel their joy they moved hand in hand out of the room, light, happy and joyous!

The scene changed, I got the words “Jean Hutchinson” and the fact that her husband is ‘here’ now, having crossed over and was happy, and that they too had met in a pizza shop…or that they worked there…. ??

Then while still ‘in my bed’, I saw my father walk into the room, and immediately became very concerned, thinking, “what are you doing here? oh no! please tell me I’m fully awake and that you haven’t crossed over!” (MY dad is still alive but not doing as well as he used to, so maybe this was a concern of mine manifesting?) My dad tells me that he was driving the lawnmower (as he does in real life here) and crossed the driveway and ran into something that caused an explosion that caused him to cross over!

I then see my brother enter the room as well, carrying a baby carrier with an infant, and he says,” yeah, and I was there too” meaning he was caught up in the explosion and crossed over as well. I was rather upset, concerned this was ‘real’, so I said “no, I’m awake, this is not real….I must be awake and not talking to spirits”….which of course I really wasn’t awake.

I realized now that I had to write up the first experience quickly so I didn’t forget. I didn’t remember my recorder as I usually do, but scrambled to find some paper to write on. Then I had to find a pen, which didn’t work, and finally just grabbed some paper out of a nearby computer to write it on.

It was at that point I heard an alarm go off, waking me to full wakefulness and realizing that I had not written anything, and that the memories of everything that just happened were fading fast!

I’m not sure what all this means, but I writing it anyway…if anyone gets any insight from it, I’d be happy to hear! It’s interesting that I now it seems the spirits are coming to me, and this time even ‘waking’ me to help them! It seems I haven’t been able to get out of my bedroom for some astral traveling for a few experiences now!!

169) Emotionally Intense OBE; Helping a Child

February 20, 2012

I woke as I sometimes do about 3 am and had difficulty falling back asleep. Figuring it was a good time to try for another OBE, I affirmed my intention to help others if I could as I always like to do.

Just as I was falling back to sleep, in that in-between state of asleep and awake, I thought I heard someone calling ‘mom’ or ‘ma’..…a little voice crying out, and when I heard it again, I said “I’m here!” with my thoughts. What I did feel was that this was NOT my child, but one that needed someone.

I then came into awareness of being in my bed in my bedroom, and sensing the movement of an intense energy in the form of a small child coming into my bedroom from the doorway.

My heart was pounding, trying to stay calm, as I could feel something different about this energy and somehow knew it was going to be a ‘difficult’ experience for me.

I realized it was a small child, a boy about age 3 or 4, very upset, crying and very much in turmoil. He moved to the empty side of my bed and climbed up next to me.

Immediately I ‘felt’ and saw his life, the abuse, the sadness, the extreme depth of emotion he had as he sobbed uncontrollably next to me.

I had him lie on the pillow, on his belly and his face was away from me so I could not see his appearance. He was small in frame, and all I could do was pat his back and rub him gently, trying to sooth his sobs. I remember doing this for what I felt to be a long time.

I reached for his head, to rub his hair and stroke his cheek after he was quiet for a bit. He turned over to face me, and curled up tightly against my shoulder and neck, cuddling me, and with a tiny bit of a sob to his voice, asks, “Am I home now?”

I was so emotionally overwhelmed with the unexpected question that I didn’t know what to do. I think my emotions did not allow me to continue on energetically effectively, as I was desperate to help. I remember actually speaking out loud, ‘do you see anyone?’ trying to get him to see those who I knew were there for him.

With the audible words, I was immediately awake…and alone. I have no idea if I was of any help, but am so hoping that just the idea that I was able to get him to stop running and crying and to settle down, enabled him to move on to where he needed to go.

This was so emotionally draining for me. I woke crying with emotional release at his depth of sadness and the turmoil that he experienced in his short life. I desperately hope he’s in a better place now…

ADDENDUM: Through a discussion with other members of the Astral Projectors group on Facebook (which anyone is welcome to join, just ask!), it seems that this experience may have been much more than 'just' a retrieval as I originally thought.

It seems that a psychic friend felt that there was a 'Carrie' great grandmother who helped this child to 'move on'....and it just so happens that THIS is the name of MY grandmother, the one whom I just saw during the OBE two weeks ago!! (click here for post) AND....that SAME day I had this experience, my son informs me that he and his wife are expecting a new child this summer!!

I almost now feel that perhaps this could be another premonition of my grandchild to be...similar to the one I had before my FIRST grandchild!! (click here for post) ...including the comment!) Since I'll not know for sure until it happens, if this newest grandchild is a boy....then I'll be almost certain this was the case!

168) Wine Effects, Sending Energy Attempt

I have to start this experience with some background so as you can understand maybe why things happened as they did.

I had not expected to get OOB this morning, so had no focus or intention set as to what exactly I would do if I did. That is a key point in maintaining a degree of control when you start your induction, although I have to add, that I also had had a few glasses of wine prior to bed and think that my ‘consciousness’ was also not fully ‘awake’ to maintain the control either!! Lol

I remember waking about 4am and needing something to drink, having already dreamed I had downed an entire bottle with gusto! Lol I felt awake enough to think about possibly attempting to get OOB, but knew that many times alcohol impacts your ability to do so, so didn’t focus too much on trying.

Getting back to sleep, I remember starting to feel a ‘swaying’ motion…actually thinking, ‘oh dear! I did have too much to drink’!! lol But then knew that this rocking motion could easily be amplified and turned into an OBE, so worked on doing that.

I felt my upper torso swaying back and forth, and then focused on moving even a hand or foot astrally. It was enough that I soon became aware of BOTH my legs being held straight upright off the bed!!! At first I wasn’t sure I was even asleep, that maybe I really HAD raised my legs this high!

Knowing this wasn’t likely, I just assumed it was my astral body, and tried to roll out. It was a bit difficult to separate, but eventually I did find myself standing in my bedroom facing to door to leave. Realizing I was out, I was thrilled, and found myself starting to float up and through the bedroom ceiling.

However, just before exiting the room, I remembered what Jaime in the Astral Projectors group on Facebook did once. He was able to send him own sleeping body healing energy while he was out, and I wanted to do that too!

I turned around and easily saw my body lying on the bed under the covers. For some reason, my face was covered or not clearly visible. (Again, as you may know from previous posts, I believe it is my own preference NOT to see my face as it is possible my ‘mind’ may not be able to process the actual fact that I am in two places at once without return to body).

I move closer to the bed, with the intention of sending energy to my body, but was shocked to feel that the closer I got to my body on the bed, the less ability I had to ‘see’ it clearly, as it appeared to emit some sort of wavy distorted energy or vibrations that did not feel good.

I knew enough to not press this attempt, as you know with any type of ‘negative’ response you are likely to return to body, so I turned back around and continued to float up and out of the bedroom ceiling.

Now, I was not in control of where I was going, whether lack of intent or too much wine, but I found myself outside the house in the dark above my front yard. I could see a ray of light with what looked like rain coming down in the lit area, and moved closer to see what it was.

Entering the light, I could see it was a ‘spotlight’ of sorts off to the side of the yard, and I could feel the ‘tingles’ of what I thought was rain. (In real life, it was not raining at that time, so I have no idea what it was)

Flying through the trees that line my property, I hear children walking along the road behind my house and moved to go see what was going on with them. I thought, because it was early morning, that perhaps they were on their way to the school bus stop. I thought it was sad that they had to walk to the bus stop in such darkness.

It was at that time I was totally taken into a lucid dream that I have very little recall of once awake. In hindsight, I do think that perhaps my ‘woozy’ body was emitting those peculiar energy waves due to its destabilized state, and the lack of control and my memories of the LD were also affected.

However, I am happy that at least I remembered to try to send energy to my body when out, so that means maybe next time with an improved physical body and mind, I’ll succeed!

167) Sleep Timer Use; Meeting my Grandmother

January 26, 2012

I thought I'd share a quick experience this morning, one that I wasn’t going to post, until my friends at the Astral Projectors group in Facebook said I should! So here goes…

Since I didn't have to get up early today, I was trying a different technique for lucid dreaming, one where you set a timer to go off at intervals to help with awareness (great site: http://www.lucidology.com/blog/91/lucid-dream-timer-method/)

During the night I can remember having LOTs of dreams which was an improvement already, but one in particular was quite memorable. I was helping someone with 'negative spirits' that were bothering him, and was showing him how you just needed to have no fear when they started 'taking control'.

I don't have specific details, but remember myself having that slight tinge of fear when one would come, but then emphatically stating, 'stop!' or 'release now' to get them to comply. One 'spirit' that was insistent took my astral arm and was shaking it violently which concerned me, but again, I somehow got the courage to say "stop!" and send love which dissipated it.

As I moved in my bedroom toward my body, I looked up to see my grandmother (who passed many years ago) enter the room! I was astonished, as I've not seen any family members ever in spirit. Actually, she looked so different than she did (much younger look and I never recall her looking like that) but somehow I knew it was her. We were sitting together and my only memory was excitedly telling her all about what I was doing and how I had "figured out how the nervous system worked"! (?)

It was a very short talk and I was pulled back quickly to body (as I think I was so close to my 'self' in bed) but ultimately was thrilled to awaken and know I met with her! My first time meeting someone in my family that has passed on!

166) Learning Control Again with Awareness Now

January 22, 2012

I am learning a lot about myself over the past few weeks, including the fact that I need to learn to ‘let go’ of many things that no longer serve me. Now on my own in life and feeling the freedom and joy of learning who I truly am, I find I am being given many new opportunities for growth and spiritual development.

This OBE this morning was not much to write about, however, it impressed me in that I learned a few things about how I look at my experiences. The very first time I woke after a few hours’ sleep, I remember dreaming I was driving my car (as usual!) and found myself in an area that I had no recollection of how I got there! I remember thinking, ‘uh oh, this isn’t good, to have driven this far and have no memory of how I got here!’…which should have been my signal for a reality check, but I totally lost the opportunity and woke completely.

In waking, I realized this lost opportunity and was determined to get back into the right mindset to get OOB. It took a long time, and much effort before I finally heard in my head to ‘just let go’. Figuring this meant I wasn’t going to get OOB tonight, I rolled over and went to sleep.

Very soon thereafter (I think!), I became aware of a ‘lighter sensation’ and that ‘knowing’ that this is it!! I tempered my excitement knowing I was getting ready, and then felt the slight ‘tingles’ that I now get in place of full vibrations. I remember thinking again, ‘finally! Yes! It’s happening!’

I was fully alert, yet knew all I had to do was raise my astral arms for confirmation, which I did. Wasting no time, I rolled out off the bed to my left, and affirmed, ‘to the door!’ Moving along, I realized I was still ‘fuzzy’, with vision that kept fading, so affirmed ‘Awareness now!’ multiple times as I moved into the hallway and down the stairs. I was amazed how that simple statement could clear up any fog in my thinking and vision.

Now at the bottom of the stairs, it opens into a large room, not my house. I see offices off to the side, and hear radio/music playing. Moving into the larger room that felt to be a ‘gathering place’, I’m looking around at all the various objects within it (not that I can remember what they are now!).

As I get across the room, I figure there has to be someone here, so mentally holler, “Is anyone here?” Right away, I hear a male voice excitedly yell back, ‘Yes! We’re over here!’

In the far corner, I see two elderly men in wheelchairs. I get the feeling of a ‘nursing home’ or sorts we are in, and they are old time veterans who live here. As I approach, I start talking to them about who they are and why they are here. I don’t recollect any specific conversation, because I am focused on the fact that my vision and awareness keeps fading.

Determined to see who these men are, I demanded emphatically, “AWARENESS NOW!!” and I was excited to see my vision came back clear and crisp immediately! The one gentleman was of solid build, with very short white hair, and a friendly smile that told me he was thrilled to see me. The other gentleman was smaller, with longer dark hair and perhaps a Hispanic background.

Now, I really am sorry I don’t remember much of our conversation as I was doing more thinking about me and my ‘status’ at the time! While talking, I thought maybe I should be doing something else, like affirming ‘to my Higher Self’ which would help me more.

With that, I remember saying “to my Higher Self’ but I could FEEL and hear it spoken with my physical body! My physical lips moved with that affirmation and it totally threw my consciousness into full physical reality. I was back in body and unable to re-enter this experience.

I can still picture these two gentlemen, however, as the clarity of my vision was amazing. I only wish I had taken some time to remember what we discussed!

165) Cats and Puzzles

2012_01_08

I thought I'd share a quick experience I had a few mornings ago. It began with a visit from some feline friends, with becoming aware of a huge cat climbing up onto my chest! Sitting there purring to get my attention, I then found myself in a room a with three other cats. I could not actually ‘see’ these animals but sensed their energies and presence.

While bending to pet each one, I could ‘feel’ their tingly vibrational energy and ‘hear’ them make a deep meowing sound. In real life, there are no cats currently in my house and these all felt to be ‘new’ to me, not past cats I have had, nor any that have visited me before while OOB.

After the 'cat' experience, I was in and out of different 'phases' a few times that night, remembering watching hoards of people marching into a castle while I flew to the rafters. Feeling unpleasant energies here, I tried to zoom to the moon, but with much difficulty in moving then decided I’d affirm, “to my higher self!” to see where I’d go.

What happened is, I found myself aware of lying on my bed and seeing my astral arms lifted above me. I felt too heavy to move out, but then had the rare occurrence of 'astral vision' where I know I'm in a deep state on the bed with my eyes closed, but able to see and sense clearing what is in front of me.

What I see initially is a BEAUTIFUL puzzle of glorious colors with intricate pieces being put together in a stunning display of beauty that then comes to life once complete in a spectacular display of harmony and communication.

My next vision is a more 'basic' puzzle, not nearly as intricate, with black and white cartoon characters on it (I remember Foghorn Leghorn and Chip & Dale! lol). In the upper left corner are some missing pieces and even a few pieces that are jammed in wrong but made to fit.

The words, "Karen's first puzzle" are there, and I remember feeling total elation as I realize the puzzle is now complete enough for the cartoon characters to come to life, which they did similar to the more elaborate puzzle display I saw just previously!

My feelings with this experience are that the basic cartoon puzzle may be my beginner's (childlike) attempt to put the pieces together with the many facets of life experiences and knowledge I am creating. Despite my early attempts in life to 'force fit' some puzzle pieces and still with a few missing ones, I AM perhaps successful in gaining enough 'form' (knowledge) to make it all work (come to life)!

164) Daniel and Dog; Retrieval to Save a Life

2011_12_31

I’m so excited to share this latest experience, as it has left me with wonderful glowing feelings of such satisfaction and happiness! Not only did I get to have my flying fun and freedom again, which I have missed for the past few months, but also a sense of completion and satisfaction for possibly helping at least one person, if not more, continue on with life.

Waking about 3:30am, I decided since it was now the last day of 2011 that I’d like to have an OBE experience where I could again help someone, but also desired to experience for myself the joy of flying free again!

I had read an book before bed about Robert Monroe’s beginning with astral travel, and remember finding it amusing that he’d roll out similar to what I do, but then knew he was out of body when he found he didn’t end up with a ‘plunk’ on the floor!! :) This memory was retained with this experience, after I used an astral induction tape and within a short time found myself floating and ready to roll out.

I rolled off to the left, remembering, like Monroe, that if I didn’t fall to the floor, I was out!! Lol (Amazing how these memories are retained!) I was ecstatic and floated gently to the ceiling, now also remembering how Monroe would use just his mind (not my usual affirmations) to move. I found that, like him, if I ‘thought’ about moving down I did and then just thinking up, I did that!! I’ve done it many times before, but because I had just read this before sleep, I remembered reading about it and doing it.

Eventually, I had enough of the slow playtime and decided I wanted some real fun! I zoomed quickly straight up through the ceiling and roof and into the starry sky above!!! I was free again!!! Zooming so fast, flying and flipping, I was in sheer heaven with my flying….swooping and diving, elated that I was able to do so again after such a long dry spell!!

After a time, I found myself back in my bed, but still with vibrations. I realized someone was next to me again! I put out my arm to feel who was there as I asked, ‘who’s there?’ I felt an arm, emaciated, thin and very weak and then heard someone answering me.

Because the induction tape was still going on, I felt I had ‘plugs’ in my ears and was unable to hear him above the sounds. I repeated my question, now realizing it was an older very thin, frail male on my left who said his name was ‘Daniel’.

I remember we spoke for a bit, but don’t recall the conversation, but suddenly heard a sound coming from the doorway! A spry rambunctious dog, medium-sized with curly white hair all over, jumped with his front paws on the bottom of the bed to my right! He was so cute, and I turned from Daniel to pet him and make friends. I could actually feel his paws on my arm!

I didn’t realize that I was losing a ‘connection’ with Daniel, and when turning back, heard a change in the induction tape (hate that when it happens!) that signaled more awareness and possible waking. I willed myself to continue on, calling for Daniel, and was thrilled to find he returned when I looked back to my left.

Talking more, I asked how I could help him. He responded that he was very much afraid of the ‘big dog’ downstairs. I felt I needed to get him to move on, and so asked if I could bring him safely somewhere. He was reluctant, feeling like I couldn’t do it myself, so I remembered that I could ask for a guide to assist me.

I told Daniel I had a ‘friend’ who was well trained with dogs and could assist us in getting there. I looked around the room, hoping to see someone who was going to help us, but no one showed!! I felt a bit concerned that no one was showing, but Daniel thought it was rather funny, and so he said, “Well, I guess I’ll just have to let you take me!”

I took him by the hand, walked across the bedroom, out into the hall and down the stairs. I remember feeling a very slight tingle of fear as to what I might find as I entered the living room. However, I continued on and found there was nothing unusual in my living room.

Without stopping, we walked hand in hand to my front door, now wondering if he knew we could just pass through or if I should stop to try to open it! As we got nearer to the door, I decided I’d just continue on and we both passed easily through the door to the cool outdoors.

I was surprised to find myself no longer in my front yard, but somewhere outside near a road in front of us. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do with Daniel! I asked him, “Do you see anyone looking for you?” thinking someone had to be here for him! He didn’t see anyone, and all I saw was a small private plane and helicopter flying overhead to my right.

Suddenly, Daniel takes off to the road in front of me. I just stand in amazement and watch the events unfold. I see a SUV type vehicle on the road in front of me facing to the left, with the driver’s door open facing me. I see two men inside, the driver struggling to get free of the seatbelt and the passenger lying unconscious across the bench seat. There are flames shooting up from under the dash engulfing them!

Daniel is now on top of the unconscious passenger, frantically extinguishing the flames all around him with his hands. He frees the driver’s seatbelt so he can exit the vehicle. I watch Daniel still inside, on top of the passenger, now with all the flames extinguished and beaming a huge satisfied smile back at me! Daniel is no longer a thin emaciated old man, but a robust and young healthy young man! I can feel his happiness and joy with successfully saving this passenger’s life.

Looking around, there are people milling about watching this happen with me. A female silently walks by me and a man standing nearby looks at me and says, “I’ve always said this was a hazard that should have been taken care of”, which I felt to mean something dangerous about the area or the vehicle.

The entire scene faded soon thereafter, but I can still recall with such joy the satisfaction and pride that I saw on Daniel's face. I truly don’t know what this all meant, but the glow I am left with tells me something was a big success!

163) Year of Changes; Learning to Let Go; Cindy

12/26/11

It’s been a long time since I’ve had one of my astral adventures where I can share long stories of where I go and what I do. It seems for the past few months I’ve been ‘restricted’ to short little excursions with very limited recall, likely due to my changing life events and limited time for focus and intention. I will share another short OBE I had this morning, but first, a few words of gratitude and appreciation for all that has happened in my life to date.

It’s been a whirlwind year, full of unexpected changes, some more difficult than others, but always able to be endured and overcome due to my knowing that all obstacles are only lessons for more learning. Keeping a positive focus that “all is happening for a reason” was an important part of this learning, especially those more difficult times when the ‘reason’ is unclear and unknown. (But I will say, for most of it, the reason eventually showed itself and I am amazed how the Universe always knows what is best, despite our initial objections!)

So, with the closing of this year I send my thanks for all that I have been shown and have learned and now face the New Year with excitement and an even more positive focus that I AM where I need to be and doing what I need to be doing at this time.

I intend to devote more time to MY desires and needs, which includes more astral travel and all its lessons, as well as real life travel to seek out those who share my ambition and determination in this learning adventure. By sharing what we know with others, we all become stronger in our energies and efforts, and with that, much more successful and knowledgeable about our own lives and Universe around us. It is so true that that which you put forth, returns to you twofold!

I want to thank all my friends here on this wonderful ‘intangible dimension’ that connects us all, called the internet, that offer me support and encouragement with all my travels and learning. I am blessed to have such wonderful friends and am now looking forward to hopefully meeting many of you in person somehow and hearing from so many more!

With that, I’ll share my short adventure this morning. I became aware of vibrations while in my bed and was excited to think that finally I will get out again! (Of course, I was careful not to become too excited, as you know that will stop any further progress.) I remembered my intention was to ‘go where I needed to learn’ and allowed the Universe to decide that which would be best for me at this time.

As the vibrations lifted, I was aware I was still in my bed, but now there was someone lying in the bed next to me. Knowing I am usually alone, I turned to see who it was and was a bit shocked to see it was my ex-husband! Somehow I knew there was something here I needed to ‘let go’ of, and asked him what he wanted.

Without a lot of details, I know we had a good conversation about how things changed with us, and what we both needed to do to move on. It’s a conversation that I know could not happen in real life, as he is still too bitter to talk with me. But I felt I achieved a sense of accomplishment with our discussion and was content.

As our conversation completed, I became aware of another person near the bottom of the bed, and called out, ‘who’s there?’ I distinctly heard a female answer “Cindy” and she proceeded to tell me about these two males with her, aged 23 and 12, who wanted to talk with me.

For some reason, there was SO much noise going on around me, almost like a room full of people, that I was having difficult focusing on her voice and hearing what she wanted to tell me! I asked a few times for her to repeat herself, but eventually, all of them just faded away without any further information.

I also realized I was having difficulty speaking, and it seemed that every time I attempted to talk, so much saliva and drooling (yuck!) was happening that I eventually just gave up trying to clear it (as I felt it was going to wake me up) and tried to talk with it, not worrying about how it appeared!! Lol

The next I realize I’m once again with my ex-husband who is upset that his father isn’t doing well in the hospital, and I had the impression that he was about to pass over due to ‘heart trouble’. At the time I didn’t remember that his father had already passed from a heart attack a few years ago, and can remember thinking during the experience that this may be a sign that something may happen in the near future for him.

I was surprised now to find myself rolling off the bed, caught up once again in the sheets and all tangled! I see my kitten from a few years ago on the side of the bed, and I play with her. In hindsight, this was the beginning of another ‘false awakening’, as I then heard my mother coming up the stairs to my bedroom!

Not wanting her to find me in bed, I quickly rolled back into the bed and pulled the covers off to get up. Asking what she’s doing here she responds she’s looking for a toy that my granddaughter Samara lost. Mom proceeds to put some clothing on the bed, as I pull off a sleep mask that I knew I had on. At this point I feel I’m fully awake, and need to get some recording done, but cannot do so with company in the bedroom! Lol

I feel a gentle change in energy, and now realize that I’m NOT fully awake, so I force myself to full awareness. That little seed of doubt about my reality is always a clue that I’m not fully back to awareness, and I use it to either move into another experience or to full wakefulness so that the experience I just had is able to be remembered and recorded.

162) Country Carnival; Tracy and Tattoo

Dec. 1, 2011

Due to major changes in my life over the past few months, I have not had the ability to truly focus on my OOB experiences as I used to. However, I am thankful that I still have memories of exiting my body a few times, but mostly with very limited recall of exactly what I did after exiting.

The last two exits I over the past week were rather uneventful, but I will share what I can recall. The first exit I remember having great control and keen awareness of my being out of body, however, once again, with another false awakening that had me thinking I was fumbling with my recorder, I was distracted enough so that once I fully woke, I lost many of the details.

I remember easily rolling out of body and being very aware of my clear thinking process. I was riding in a boat and marveling at the beauty of the surroundings and the amazing blue sky. The water below this unusual boat was shallow water, with the feeling more of flooding than a river. I somehow knew I was ‘in the future’ but I am not sure how I knew this.

I actually remember thinking this boat wasn’t moving fast enough for me, so to get where I wanted to be instantly, I just affirmed, ‘take me to where I need to learn!’ Immediately I found myself listening to the sounds of a country carnival on a hillside.

My vision was poor and it was dark, and I had enough awareness to remember to say ‘clarity now!’ and then ‘clear vision now!’ which immediately helped me to see the people milling around me. One person in particular made eye contact but no communication. I noticed a small building nearby that reminded me of a concession stand, and I had the feeling I was supposed to be working there.

Looking inside I see people tending to plants of some kind and I remember thinking how clear everything was! I know I went inside and there was more I did, but here’s where my memory fades after the false awakening took much of my focus with the transition back to full wakefulness. It is just so frustrating when this happens so often in my experiences.

The next exit was a few days later, after listening to some binaural beats, when I became aware of being within a familiar black tunnel with the backward sensation of movement. I was being pulled backward for a very, very long time, feeling my body moving in different postures at times but realizing that I should just ‘let go’ and see what happens next. It seems like it took forever for the tunnel backward pulling sensation to end!

My next recollection was of floating above the bed I was in but again, not have any clear vision. This time I did not have the awareness to do ‘clarity now’, likely because my next realization was that there was something VERY tight grasping my body as I lie on the bed!! A tight constricting feeling was encircling my waist, and I became a bit concerned.

Trying to loosen the grip, I starting swatting at whatever it was, only to realize it was an arm!! Someone was holding me tightly around my waist!

I immediately asked, ‘who’s there?’ and ‘what’s your name?’ for which she replied, “Tracy” and mumbled something about “?four years?”. It’s odd, but because I had had ear buds in listening to an induction routine prior to this experience, I was fully aware that my ears were ‘plugged’ and asked her to please repeat what she said as I had these things in my ears!

I then asked, ‘what can I do for you?’ and remember she starting telling me her story and it involved something about a tattoo….only to lose her completely when I was suddenly startled awake by a very loud sound in the house! Full wakefulness, and no idea what just happened!

I could still ‘see’ her face…thin, drawn, with short lighter hair…and a sad expression. I have no idea what she wanted or how I could have helped, and am frustrated once again to have had such an incomplete experience.

Hopefully, with some stability starting to come back into my life at this time, my experiences will once again be enough that I can share with everyone on a regular basis. Thanks to all my astral friends for their patience and support over the past few weeks in the form of emails and facebook messages. Friends truly are the ‘family’ we choose for ourselves…and I’m thankful for every one of you!