119) Fearful Hands - Preparing for Play

3/21/10

I became aware of a ‘buzzing’ sensation and was excited to know that I was going to get out! Taking the initiative, instead of rolling, I just climbed out! I can still remember now how easy it was!

The next I knew I felt hands grabbing my ankles and it wasn’t the same ‘loving hands’ that I have felt in the past. These were firm, ‘fearful’ hands that made me concerned at once. I moved as if to get away, but the hands followed, moving along different part of my legs, not letting go! I remember thinking I had to get them off – and tried to maintain calm so that I could ‘send love’. It was difficult to do, and I kept moving about to try to shake them off.

I remember ‘swatting’ at them, but to no avail – and even thinking to myself after doing this that it was a silly thing to do since I knew ‘nothing’ was there! There was one particular time I felt very concerned when the hands moved to a more ‘private part’ of my lower body, almost as if trying to ‘scare’ me, but I maintained control and kept moving, which kept the hands moving.

I knew I had to get outside, so affirmed ‘to the door!’ and found myself moving that direction but with much heaviness and difficulty. I keep pulling and tugging toward the door, knowing somehow that once outside I’d be free of these hands.

Finally outside, I was much relieved to feel the hands let go and quickly moved to ‘fly up’ to the tree tops. I remember seeing the branches, leaves…and being so thrilled at my freedom once again! Looking back at the door I just left, I thought I saw my husband there, and called for him to follow me knowing he probably wouldn’t as he does not fully believe in my travels. I hindsight, I am wondering if it wasn’t my husband trying to ‘hold’ me back out of his own fear?

I turned to continue on, and was so surprised to see my dog Buddy once again accompanying me! I remember doing my happy flying flips and swoops, just enjoying the freedom and ‘realness’ of the sensations! It’s been a long time since I was so fully ‘aware’ ….I was thrilled!

The scene changed and I found myself with a large group of people, all recognized as familiar friends and family gathered in a large open ‘auditorium’ type room. I knew we were preparing for another ‘play’ and I was so enjoying seeing everyone and being with them.

The ‘play’ was about to start, and I knew we were ALL to be a part of it! It was a fun, exciting feeling and I remember seeing the racks and racks of beautiful ‘gowns’ and clothing that we will have our choice of wearing for the ‘play’ as it unfolded.

While I’m there having such fun, I remember thinking that I should stop and wake to record what I’ve done so far, but the happiness and bliss I felt was so appealing that didn’t want it to end!

At one point, I hear someone come into the ‘auditorium’ to make an announcement just as the ‘show’ was about to start. Something about ‘unexpectedly unleashed 17,000 cases of TB’ (tuberculosis)…..and they will have to be ‘bio-chemically timed to come back sooner’.

Listening to this announcement, there was no concern or sadness anywhere. It all felt to be a ‘game’ of sorts, a ‘play’ that we all wanted to be a part of and knew we were just happy to have the chance to be there in our personally chosen ‘roles’. There was much laughter and fun, and even knowing this unexpected ‘event’ happened, it was more of a minor ‘scene change’ that we were thrilled to be a part of!

I woke soon after, losing my memories once again so quickly – but still ‘glowing’ in the happiness and joy I felt at being out and with my ‘old friends’!

New Links

Hi everyone! I had another OBE this morning, the first in a long time again! It felt SO good to be out! I wasn't much, but it had some 'negativity' in it so I will write it up shortly.

Meanwhile, I want to let everyone know that if you haven't read my 'favorites' listed at the top of this blog, now there is no reason not to!! :) Thanks to Yvonne who posted a comment regarding this idea, I was able to add direct links to the numbers!! Easy to find blog posts now!

Enjoy! Keep me posted as to how else I can improve this for you!

Thanks for giving me a reason to share,
Karen

118) Nothing is Impossible!

2/28/10

I want to share with you an OOB experience that at the time, I didn’t realize was even an out-of-body experience!!

I had attempted to travel, moving to my ‘traveling couch’ after a few hours sleep as usual. I was disappointed to wake a few times, realizing I had had a variety of ‘events’ but nothing that I could put together in a cohesive story.

I try to sleep once again, and my first ‘recall’ of this experience was actually ‘waking’ and remembering, as I walked up the stairs to return to my bed that I was once again disappointed in not having had gone OOB! As I walk up the stairs, I have the feeling that maybe somehow, despite my absolute certainty that I am awake, there COULD be a possibility all is not as it seems and I am really OOB! (What even gave me that idea was amazing, because I truly thought I was fully awake!) To show myself that I AM AWAKE, I lean my shoulders against the walls and head ‘bumps’ the angular ceiling...I was thinking, oh dear, I just CAN'T be OOB because I am awake and feeling these walls/ceilings.

What is truly amazing to me is that for some reason, I can’t tell you why because I don’t know! I made the decision that it's really MY BELIEF that I am NOT OOB that is keeping me feeling 'awake', and that perhaps I really was!!! (I am thinking, in hindsight, that my thoughts over the past few weeks have been to try to understand how ALL things are possible as the sages say, and feeling it’s the tight hold we give to our ingrained beliefs and ‘physical-ness’ that keeps us from achieving that which we want)

So, by this time I'm at the top of the stairs, and immediately decide that despite my 'wakeful' knowingness - I was going to walk into the wall to give myself that ‘chance’ to see what my ‘physical status’ was, and to show that I am awake or OOB!!! It was an unusual decision, as I was so certain I was awake - but I was aghast to find that I moved INTO the wall!! I remember it was difficult to pass into, but I DID!!

At this point I woke (I think because I was stunned to realize I WAS OOB!), realizing in fact that I was NOT upstairs, that I don't have narrow walls such as I felt 'touching' me on the way up, and that I was still on the couch!!!! It was just an amazing realization I had upon waking, that I was SO SO convinced I was NOT OOB, that I was physical in every sense of the word, yet I wasn't!!

What I took from this was two things. That I firmly believe it is our beliefs and ‘closed’ mind physical upbringing to what we are told is ‘impossible’ that keeps us from attaining what may actually be possible!! We need to consider the impossible as a possibility before we will be able to achieve any strides toward our goal.

Additionally, I also feel that this is ‘firmness of belief’ is what others who have crossed, yet don't know it, must feel as they live in their self-made astral worlds. They are convinced they are 'normal' in physical bodies in every way, and it is not until they change their 'belief' and open to the smallest possibility of there being other options that give them the chance to change their perspective on how things are. Hence the reason why the retrievals we do in our travels work to bring into their lives that ‘chance’ of change and possibility!

117) Tumors; Joel (Joeb?) & his Tractor

I am so happy to be able to write another adventure to share with everyone! It has been a long time without any cohesive memories that I could write and share so I’m pleased to say that I believe I had another OBE retrieval early this morning!

The night started much as usual, but I went to my ‘traveling couch’ earlier than usual (2am) due to being awake and unable to sleep right away. I initially had many different ‘dream clips’ and each time waking and wondering what they could mean. There were some related to my work, a few felt as if I was really OOB and in one I can remember different children running around my house making noise.

Another one in particular was rather intriguing in that I had just finished ‘helping’ this disabled child, and he told me I had ‘tumors in my belly’. At that time I recall having felt ‘lumps’ in my lower abdomen, and asked the child where they were. He pointed to his lower abdomen, and said ‘it’s not big deal, they just need to come out’. Immediately my medical background kicks in and I’m trying to seal in my memory that I may need a test to look for these in the future.

One other ‘dream’ was different in that I met with a man and woman who were telling me of their ‘loss’ of a young son, Joel (Joeb? Two part Jo- name). They told me he died at a young age “many, many years ago” after falling off a wagon being pulled by a tractor. He loved tractors, and I had a sense of ‘farming’ when talking to this couple.

I made no sense of this until I had this OBE a short time later. I remember ‘waking’ on the couch, and feeling disappointed that I once again was awake without having had an OOBE. I rolled off the couch, and found myself completely tangled in the blankets sitting on the floor! Trying to get untangled, I looked toward the TV in my living room and noticed light shadows, as if someone was blocking the light coming in from the front door down the hallway. (Had I realized it, this living room was the way it appeared a few years ago before we had it remodeled. That should have been a signal for me too!)

Thinking the front door was accidently left open (and not realizing there shouldn’t be light outside yet!), I moved down the hallway and was shocked to see my young son about age 5 coming in from outdoors!! I realized immediately that I had to be OOB, as my son is a young man of 25 right now, yet here he was as a child!

I was thrilled to think I was finally OOB again, and my young son escorted me outdoors to the front porch. I began floating upward slightly and everything went black for a few seconds, but then I floated back down to the front porch and my vision returned. This floating just confirmed to me that I was indeed OOB.

Here, the scenery changed as my usual front yard was now covered with a brick/stone walkway that weaved in and out of masses of wildflowers – yellow, orange, white ones – and I took note that the flowers were beautiful, yet the ‘feel’ of the flowers was ‘unkempt’ or ‘wild’, as if not looked after.

There were children playing and running around, also with the ‘unkempt’ or ‘wild’ feel, as if not cared for. They were happy, but in a ‘wild’ sort of way. It’s hard to describe, but almost as if they were ‘not good’ children, or bullies. I saw adults there too, one mentally challenged man was off to my left, quiet and non-communicative, and there were two female ‘caretakers’ off to my right who were happy to see me.

We walked together and talked, but memories elude me as to what the discussion was about once I woke fully at the end. I remember the landscape simulated the land around my house and at one point, I felt drawn to a young child standing quietly and forlornly by the side of the road, as if he was sad and withdrawn.

The feeling was that this child was being ‘bullied’ by the other children and did not even try to reach out to anyone. In hindsight, I’m think he was not able to ‘see’ the adults who were there with me trying to help him, hence his forlorn appearance and resignation to a life of being teased and bullied by the other children.

He saw me and allowed me to pick him up, giving him hugs and talking with him. He remained non-communicative, and the adults with me told me his name was ‘Joel’ (Joab?!) the same name I heard just a dream or two ago!! I immediately recognized that name, and asked what his story was.

The adults told me he had ‘passed over’ quickly as a young child after falling off a wagon! I knew immediately that this was the same ‘lost’ child the parents were looking for!

Walking back toward my house, I found myself inside a room with two other adults (they appeared to be MY parents, but I think the connection was that these were caretakers of the children). They told Joel that they were ‘going out’ that I was to ‘babysit’ for a bit, and to listen to what I said. I had the feeling Joel had memories of what babysitters did, and this is how they got him to pay attention to me.

I immediately went into ‘babysitter’ mode – which is always trying to find something that I know the child would relate to and have fun with. In searching the room, I found shelves with small toy objects, and my eyes were thrilled to see that way up high on a shelf was a small wagon!! I took it down and showed Joel, who lit up with a smile.

I then searched more and found a tractor wheel on a chicken? object so I took it down. I attached it to the wagon, and Joel was now beaming! Somehow, the object changed into a toy tractor that Joel was able to sit into and drive. I pushed other toy objects out of the way so he could ‘drive’ and it appeared he was now completely enthralled with the idea he was in control. At that point the OBE ended!!!

I can only imagine that he was now able to ‘see’ those who were there to help him, or perhaps even help himself by feeling more ‘in control’ so that he could go back with his parents who were looking for him.

Recording this OBE was difficult, as I remember thinking I was recording it two or three times, only to realize that I still was not fully awake and using the ‘real’ recorder! I went over the experience many times, trying to ‘seal it’ in my memory, only to realize I wasn’t awake and recording! When I did ‘pull myself’ up to full wakefulness, the memories faded SO quickly! I just feel so disappointed that it all seemed so easy to remember, until I became fully conscious!

116) Grounding the Energy

It has been a very emotional and stressful few months here for me, with many ongoing family issues, personal issues, and work/school related issues. Suffice to say, I have been so focused on taking care of others, that I neglected ME!

A few months ago I noticed I was having a ‘buzzing’ in my right ear intermittently, almost a ‘blowing’ sound that, although quite annoying , did not distress me too much. As the weeks passed, it became louder and more frequent.

Then late last August I had a distressful experience where the ‘blowing’ sound became intensely loud, and I was suddenly overcome with vertigo and dizziness – along with nausea – that I couldn’t even stand. Everything was spinning out of control, and I was totally incapacitated!

This episode luckily happened while at work in a medical center and I was treated immediately, which consisted of rest and anti-vertigo medication. There was nothing visually out of order in my ear.

I was happy because the ‘blowing’ noise abated, but it was short-lived. A few days later it returned, and after another few days, another vertigo/dizzy episode occurred. Long story short, after seeing a doctor and tests, I was diagnosed with Meniere’s syndrome and told there wasn’t much to do except ‘live with it’ and make some lifestyle dietary changes (low salt, diuretics, etc) to keep it from happening too frequently.

Despite my best efforts, the episodes continued on an infrequent basis, and I saw another doctor for a second opinion. He also confirmed the same diagnosis and treatment. This did not sit well with me. I just ‘felt’ this was not right and I needed to do more research to see what it could be.

In speaking with a friend who is well versed in energy through years of Qigong teaching, I was intrigued by his questioning as to whether the vertigo episodes happened while busy throughout the day, or more when quietly sitting/resting. For me, it would always be while I was quiet, and sometimes even waking me at 3am while sleeping! (My usual OOBE time!)

He explained that this vertigo while ‘quiet’ is commonly due to insufficient ‘grounding’ of energy, and living too much ‘in the mind’, as I have been with the OOBEs, graduate school work, and meditative practices. He gave me grounding exercises to try, such as visualizations of ‘roots’ growing down from my balanced feet and my extended arms with hands facing down. Immediately I could feel the ‘tingling’ of my palms as the energy passed through, and would do this a few times during the day or night whenever I felt even the slightest vertigo.

Over the course of only one week, my ‘blowing’ noise in my ear abated, and the vertigo stopped! The tingling in my palms actually became less as more energy became grounded.

I was concerned that this ‘grounding’ may inhibit my OOBEs, which is quite possible as I have not had one that is even close to what I used to do for over a month! I was concerned, but also knew that I never wanted to experience those dizzy spells again!!

I have since learned to ‘balance’ my life a bit better now, giving some time to physical outlets for this grounding energy, as well as lighten my ‘mental’ activities by not aggressively pursuing OOBEs for a short while. I know when I am ready, they shall return. (Hopefully soon!) I finish grad school in May and my ‘mental’ work with that will be significantly less as well.

I asked my friend to give a little background as to what happened to me, and to share any insight he has on this unbalanced energy phenomena. I am sure there are many people out there who are experiencing physical manifestations of disease and illness that could be ‘cured’ by seeking a better ‘balance’ within their lives. Here’s what he said:


Sometimes we need to look at the body holistically, not just treating ear symptoms by treating the ear, but by picturing the entire body as a balanced system which has gone out of kilter. This is much the view taken in Chinese medicine, where western medicine focuses heavily upon localizing a particular organ and feeding it a fix, I believe! Neither system is always right, or wrong IMO; these are both extreme viewpoints. The answer is often to be found in the region between these extremes.

Question: How did you learn that dizziness when 'quiet' usually meant energy disturbance, and dizziness when 'busy' is inner ear imbalance?

Because this was my own post Kundalinin experience....and, it makes sense....when BUSY, we usually `ground' our focus in physicality. For example, if we are practicing tap dancing, we focus strongly on our feet; the attention is on "MY feet", the word MY implying attention IN the body.....and, remember, where the attention goes, the chi flows, so tap dancing will really sink the chi.

It is through learning the ability to consciously direct the chi in this way, that we allow many hours of intellectual/spiritual/OBE/especially Hemisynch/meditative type pursuits to be balanced with good physical presence. Without the grounding, poor health will eventually result, and also an inability to utilize learned spiritual knowledge in everyday physical life.

If we are sitting quietly, our attention is probably more of the form "I think...", "I feel.." - here the attention is on `I'.......in the MIND, NOT in the body. Hence, the energy rises to the head.

It is SIMPLY a matter of living a balanced life, i.e. balancing mental/spiritual activities with `body based' physical activities, like exercise.

(1) A person who spends nearly all of their time thinking and very little of their time `doing' is neglecting their body, to its detriment. Their energy distribution will be such that most of their energy is in their head.

(2) Similarly, a person who spends nearly all of their time `doing' and very little of their time thinking, is neglecting their mind, to its detriment. Their energy distribution will be such that most of their energy is in their body.

We are a mind and a body - it's a duality, like everything in life. Both need to work in harmony. Any deviation from this state eventually results in problems.

For a comfortable existence, we need to avoid extremes and inhabit the area in between.

If we become unbalanced, we need to take corrective action. If the problem is case (1) above, we can remedy it by increasing our body based activity, or by using `energetic' methods of grounding, to redistribute some of the energy down into the body.

For case (2), poor health will seldom result, just mental/spiritual/emotional depravity! This is addressed by increasing `thinking' and `feeling' activity.

Both (1) and (2) are admirably served by practicing authentic qigong, yoga or a physical exercise program!

Question: Are there any other 'signs' of energy imbalance that may be confused with erroneous physical complaints?

There are! Imbalances of energy.....this `energy' appears to be closely linked with the endocrine system, so it actually affects body chemistry, if one wishes to think purely in physical terms. For example, bottled up emotions can cause physical symptoms.

For example, prolonged depression will adversely affect lung/large intestine energy. This may result in, say, breathing problems, which a person would typically attempt to rectify with prescription drugs which `open out the alveoli'. Whilst this provides temporary relief, the underlying problem is still accumulating.

In turn, the drugs used may then cause other problems, perhaps affecting liver function, because of the extra burden of detoxification! Frustration and anger at lack of a `cure' may then occur. In turn, unexpressed anger will also adversely affect liver function. Sometimes the only cure is to look within.

Importance of grounding....More to come!

Hi everyone! I feel like it's been forever since I have had a good OBE where I can share my experiences here. I have had such an 'awakening' lately, that without the help of a good friend who is knowledgeable of such energy matters, I am sure I would not be as good as I am now.

I believe my OBEs have been 'limited' lately due to physical issues that were caused by too much 'mental work' and not enough grounding. At this time, I am feeling great but still having some time constraints due to busy work and finishing my grad school soon.

I am going to be sharing what's been happening to me here as soon as I can because I feel it is important that others know how this energy imbalance can manifest as physical symptoms.

Keep an eye on my blog...I shall post it soon!

115) Meeting others; Trust the Universe

1/03/10
For this OBE, I had gone to bed and awakened after a few hours with the intention of attempting to get OOB. I used intention and affirmation requesting to ‘help someone’. The experience started primarily as a ‘dreamstate’ awareness but then moved into a conscious awareness but this time without the memory of an actual ‘physical’ exit.

I was looking for a notebook/album that I needed to have to do my work. Someone was helping me look for it (female). We were initially in a ‘library’ type room looking through the books with others who were already working at the tables because they had their notebook.

The scene moved into another familiar setting, my Grandmother’s house, that is still in physical but no longer looks the same as it did here. It may have been because I was thinking of her a lot over the past week and had just discussed her again the previous night with my father (she was his mother). She passed over many years ago and I have many fond memories of her and her home.

In her house, we found a ‘secret’ passage that was sealed up that no one knew about, and were excited to get it open to uncover what was behind it. It opened easily, as it seems to be made of only paper for the covering. As we looked into the hidden area, I could see it morph in to a large room and as I entered, was surprised to see a ‘chairlift’ type seat come up behind me and swoop us up! I noticed my mother was there at this time as well, having been swooped up into a separate chair and then moved up the incline, separating her from the track we were on.

Once I was up the hill toward whatever I heading for, I became very ‘heavy’ and sluggish, and the chair I was in stopped then started sliding back down the hill! It took with it a few other people who were following behind us and I was SO apologetic to think I caused such a commotion!

I asked for help in getting to where I needed to go, and instantly found myself within a darkened room. There was no longer a ‘dream’ feeling to this setting, as I knew I was conscious and fully aware OOB.

There was light coming in from the left side, and I was positioned in one corner looking out. I sensed a presence in the dark room with me, and become just slightly fearful. I clasped my hands as if in prayer, which reminded me that I am in control and fear only gives the control away.

I mentally shout out, “Who is there?” and am surprised to hear a voice speaking to me! Now, this is where I have lost many memories, as what exactly occurred as there was a succession of ‘people’ who came into the room to speak to me! I remember speaking clearly and compassionately to those who came, and each time one would ‘dissolve’ away I could sense another one coming in! Each time I asked, “who is here now?” and I would always get a response.

A few bits of the conversations I DO remember include one woman who spoke initially, with a sense of sadness and fear having left behind a husband and child. She did not understand what was happening to her, and I can only remember telling her to ‘look for the light’ and ‘go to the light’. One other time when I asked, “who is here?” I remember getting the answer, “no one! Not me!” and then told them, “well, I certainly hear your voice, so someone is here!” chiding them to speak to me, which they did.

There was about five or six different people I spoke to in that room, knowing full well as I spoke that I was not going to remember many specifics of our conversations because there was so much we talked about!

As the last one left, I became aware of a male voice speaking from my left. In the light that was entering the room from that side, I was finally able to see a young 30 something male with blond hair speaking to me. He had pretty gray eyes and all three were very good looking. They were all very visible, and speaking about a personal message that I needed to hear - one that I just can’t share with everyone at this time.

The basic idea of the message was that ANYthing is possible and you need to trust the Universe to provide, even that which you may feel is not within your capabilities. I awoke with excitement, knowing there are never IMpossibilities! The idea is to hang onto the END result, and trust the Universe to decide how and when!!!