1/09/09
First time out I had a very easy exit and remembered immediately that I wanted to go inward to my Higher Self. (I had just read about this interesting aspect of yourself that is in control of what you are here to learn – so I was curious what I’d learn.)
I did a little jump and spin (not even sure if I needed to, but it gets me going!), and found myself in the long black tunnel moving backwards as I have been many times before.
However, after a short time in this dark tunnel, I realized there was someone behind me, as I could ‘see’ an arm to the left of where I was sitting. I grabbed the arm, turned around and asked, “Who is here with me?” I saw that it was this young male with a beautiful smile traveling with me!
I feel he was probably an aspect of my Higher Self, as that is what I asked to do if I got OOB. This male however appeared just a bit different than my other meeting with ‘Richard’ in that I think he had lighter, even reddish tint, to his short hair and a pale, but still handsome and smiling face.
I did ask if his name was Richard, but he just smiled saying something like “it is if you want it to be!” He really didn’t answer yes or no. So I called him Richard because he was the one taking me, and that was the only name I knew (see previous blog post # 78 ).
I was so excited to see I could talk with him and I remember saying, “I have so many questions to ask you!” I remember I had the most wonderful conversation with him, asking him many questions and receiving many answers!
The only question I remember asking is, “How come I can’t see?” when we arrived at our destination. Although I could see him, I couldn’t see my surroundings at all, just darkness. The feeling I got for an answer was that I was using what I know, using too much of my physical senses, and trying too hard to see with my physical eyes (or something like that). Once I realized what he meant and ‘let go’, I was able to see fully where I was!
Unfortunately, due to circumstances I believe were planned in advance (read on), I have NO idea where I was, what I saw, or even what we talked about! So frustrating!
In hindsight, I believe what I experienced next was a way of having me forget what I learned! I understand that perhaps it is not the time for me to know this information at this point in my growth and development here in the physical, so I have to be patient and just trust that all is as it should be.
What did happen next was quite confusing at first. I remember being SO excited as the ‘pull back’ transition to consciousness was happening, thinking I wanted to get all this wonderful information recorded quickly! I reached for my recorder, started recording but then realized my recorder was in pieces!!
Now, I have had this ‘false awakening’ happen enough times before that I was able to remember (finally!) that it probably was NOT “really” broken, but another false awakening! So I reached over to where I KNOW I put my recorder, (rolled up in my sleeve) but then was SO surprised to suddenly feel like I rolled right off the couch!!
I’m thinking, ”What is this? Why am I on the floor?” I stand up and wonder, ‘am I really awake and standing or am I OOB?’ I am so confused, but I have to figure out what’s going on, so I start moving toward the front door. (I should have realized that the fact that I had to question it should have confirmed the idea I was truly out, but no…I just continued on!)
I felt so close to physical, I was confused and then I actually felt my foot hit something in the room as I move! This ‘feeling’ just added to my confusion! (This may have been to try to convince me I was ‘really’ awake.)
At the door, I say, “Well I’m just going to take a chance and try moving through the door to the outdoors (again knowing I’ll either pass through it or get a nice bump on the head! lol)
I ‘dive’ through the front door, with an elated sense of satisfaction when I realize I’m AM passing through it! I knew it! (I was right to just continue on without stopping!)
However, now I’m passing through the door, head first (that was new!) and going at such a slow glacial pace that I’m wondering what is going on?! I moved so slowly, almost as though I’m feeling every single atom and molecule!
As I finally get completely through and stand on my front step, I am absolutely awed by the beauty of my front yard!! It was almost as if it ‘opened up’ to reveal an immense field of beauty and depth. I looked up into the most spectacular sky, one that seemed to ‘move’ into infinity! I could see the blue sky as it changed into outer space with stars and planets then entire universes! It was utterly amazing to see! I felt so swept up with being a part of it all!
Realizing I still need to take advantage of being out, I move up into the yard, floating to the trees once again to feel the leaves (to be certain I can) and the joyous freedom of movement I have! I remember thinking, ‘oh, I miss this SO MUCH!’
As I look beyond the hill, I see what appeared to be fireworks shooting off, and I’m pleased to think that they were set off for my benefit! (I guess it seemed to fit my emotional reaction – so that was my thought! Lol)
However, as I moved up the hill out of my front yard and closer to the fireworks, I became aware of some sort of transition. I could see adults on the hillside below me and children running through the field toward the fireworks.
Now, I get a sense of foreboding, as I also see these explosions are no longer fireworks, but have the appearance of ominous artillery firing and bombs exploding! I fear for the children who are getting closer to them so I try to warn the adults to go gather the children! I move down and take one child back to the parents and see that the others are being collected by their parents. There does not seem to be any fear here, however.
Not wanting to stay in this area, I move back to the safety of my own yard and see my usual road at the end of the driveway. Feeling like I’m in familiar territory once again, I move down the driveway to the road. Along this country road, I do a little flip, float backwards, and then see a car traveling below me. I waved hello to them but without any response. As I turned back, I saw the corner of my usual road turn into an intersection that was vaguely familiar.
I was now above a city-type street, one that had many roads converging into it. The next I know I’m inside this building, moving down a hallway past many rooms or areas. I know I have been here before as it has a very familiar feeling to it. The words “Circuit City” came to my mind, but I have not idea what the connection is.
As I go past this one area where there are displays and shelves, I wave to a familiar smiling man who is inside, waving back. I move to the next area where there are children playing on some toys, yet I stay in the hall area without interacting, just looking into these individual rooms.
At the end, I move into this one room with a few young men inside with tables/displays of some sort. They were working there, and I move up to this one young male and starting talking quite flirtatiously with him! I remember saying, “did anyone ever tell you that you were quite cute?” and such…all the time, feeling like this is something this young man needs for his self-image and outlook.
He was quite shy, and I saw ‘through him’ at one point that he had a very jaundiced sickly look to his face. I realized he must have had some sort of liver disease that may have contributed to his lack of positive self-image. I remember thinking that my actions were not for MY needs, but that it was something this young man desperately needed. I transitioned to full wakefulness at this point, trying to recall so many of these details!
I had the feeling that this second experience was probably a way of having me forget what I learned in the first experience with Richard/Higher Self. I KNOW I received so many answers that I was looking for, because I can remember that I was SO excited to start recording that experience when I noticed my broken recorder (which really it wasn’t!!). By creating an immediate confusing transition and having a more involved second part, I would then want to try to remember all those other details and forget what we talked about!
This was a very interesting OBE, as I can see that I have learned some level of ‘knowing’ when it is a false awakening (broken recorder), yet I still have difficulty when I am close to physical in knowing I’m OOB. Thankfully, I don’t stop and question my situation, and that helps.
Being with my guide/Higher Self was extremely powerful, as I still feel that excitement and emotion that persists after my visit. I only wish I had some of the answers that I know I received from him!
Friday, January 9, 2009
Monday, January 5, 2009
90) Rooms of People; Inside a Child; Why Inward Better
1/05/09
My first recollection is that I could clearly see numbers/letters on a piece of paper while lying on the couch. There were two sets four (61dl r???) and because it felt like ‘astral vision’ it made me aware of being in altered state. I can see I have a piece of paper in my hand and am writing these numbers down (as I used to do before my recorder!) when someone in the house (my husband?) came to me to see what I was writing because they knew I traveled from here and wanted to know what I was up to.
This person then walked to the kitchen and I became aware of my ‘exit signal’- my right leg rising up! I remember thinking (since I wasn’t sure this wasn’t all “real”), that I’d wait for it to rise up high enough that I knew I couldn’t possibly do that in real life!! lol Sure enough, it went clear over my head, and after a few seconds hesitation (because I thought someone was nearby), I just said, ‘heck with them, I’m outta here!’
I rolled out off couch, stood next to fireplace, and remember looking to see if I could tell who it was in the kitchen.
Not wanting to dwell on that issue, I quickly remembered I had set the intention to go see the rings on Saturn as a goal if OOB. With this thought, I immediately zoomed straight up through ceiling to blackness. I could feel the moving sensations, a slight shaking and intensity of feelings (energy sensations?) as I continued on for a very long time!
It was long enough to think ‘let’s try something!’, so I put my arms out in Superman pose, then to the sides, then thought, ‘I’ll be different this time and lie on my back as I move!’ Still feeling this movement through blackness, I thought I’d try rolling over to put my feet first, which I did!
This shows how long I ‘felt’ to be in this moving blackness, and even had the time to think, ‘well if I wanted it to be a shorter trip, all I have to do is expect to be there!’
At that point, I slowed as I see I’m moving through various rooms below me. It was dark in the rooms, as if a movie theatre, as there were small ‘lights’ lining the room near the ceiling where I was. All these people were below me in the room, and upon reaching the front, still up high, I very clearly see two (three?) women come up from below, exuberantly saying “Hi! Hello! Welcome! SO nice to meet you!”
They were SO happy to see me, and I then realized the entire crowd below me was saying “hello and welcome!” I was a bit taken aback with the clarity of their features and their overwhelming need to get my attention. (I did not feel these were ‘higher entities’ but others who existed in this “belief system” below.)
I moved onto another room without further interaction and saw this room had chairs lined up as if in a classroom. It was no longer dark, and there were men scattered about seated in these chairs. I felt as though it was a ‘math/numbers’ type lecture they were having, however upon my arrival, their interest turned to me. I was caught up in their curiosity and found myself down at their level, being pushed and pulled uncomfortably. I immediately said “that’s enough!”, and found myself into another dark room.
This one was a theatre, as I could see they were watching a movie screen. I asked one what was playing, and he answered something to the effect, “10000 Leagues Under the Sea(?)” but he explained it was all about how the afterlife works. He told me that everything is really SO much simpler than how it is portrayed in our movies – that we add so much gore and emotion to it.
I started fading back at this point and used my key word associations to recall these details as best I could. I still feel more information was given to me, however, it was in ‘feelings’ and very difficult to put into words.
The next sequence of events starts with a dream type experience where I was once again in college and concerned about the loss of my Math notebook and therefore my Math class, scheduled for 4th period. I distinctly recall I had no difficulty with the first 3 classes, and now that it was time for Math, I had no idea where my notebook was nor where the class was to be held! I then realized that may have been because I had ‘dropped’ this class due to not getting the grades that I felt were adequate enough, so therefore there was no 4th period to go to!
At this point, I remember I’m on a couch, but it appeared to be in someone else’s house! There were two women there, one left the room to change (?), but the other I remember standing nearby in this ridiculous exercise outfit with such hairy legs!! LOL That was enough for me to realize that I’m once again in an altered state, and realize my own legs are rising again!
This time, before I could roll out, I find this small ‘energy ball entity’ moving about all over my body, as if annoyingly playful. This ‘ball’ is telling me things like, ‘you really shouldn’t be traveling all about’ , ‘it’s not safe’, and ‘you really don’t need to be traveling’…(the feeling associated with it was as if it was a bit of a nuisance, but in a playful way).
I politely responded with “yes, but I like to travel, that’s how I learn! It teaches me things!” It continued to playfully annoy me for a bit longer, and when I had enough I just said, ‘that’s ok’ and intentionally sent it love…and saw that it completely disappeared!
Now I’m trying to get my leg to rise again, but the astral vision kicks in again. I clearly see someone’s bedroom – a bed with a flat thin medium brown solid headboard, quilt-like bedcovering with curved images on it (patchwork type circles?) and a dresser next to it. The bed was empty, and no one was around and I fade to wakefulness.
The last recall I have is that I am on a small bus (school?) on a country lane, and looking out the back window, can see two cows running after the bus! (I have to say here that there was a lot more going on that I was not able to recall).
I knew I was ‘out’ and having set the intention of using ‘Inward Now!’ (since my travel to Saturn didn’t work out!), I picked my feet up and attempted to spin. I spun in place, and as I did, I could hear voices talking (the words were fuzzy as if on a loudspeaker) but am not able to remember what they said! I do recall that the spinning continued until I actually felt queasy!
When the spinning stopped, I’m back on this bus with children, and see three young boys (ages 12-14?) in the seat in front of me turning back to talk to me. There is a girl sitting to the left of me. Now I feel as though I am ‘inside’ the body of a child in this bus, and can feel very concerned that I may say or do the wrong thing. I just stayed very still, not moving, and I could see that they were looking at me, watching something that I had with me. They were talking to me, but I felt I could not interact because I was ‘not really that person’. I recorded the fact that I thought they used the word ‘terrorist’(?).
Next recall is that I am trying to get something recorded, and had difficulty with my vision while I was fumbling for the buttons. (At the time I thought it could have been due to the fact that I was in ‘both worlds’ and trying to physically move while maintaining the altered mindstate.)
I don’t know what I was talking about on the recording, but I understood it at the time. Now, I hear the alarm clock going off in my son’s room, and realize that I was NOT recording and was going to lose everything! I attempted to stay in that mind frame to pull out any details, but since I was awakened so quickly with the alarm, I actually felt uncomfortable being both ‘in and out’. Once again, SO much was lost upon full awakening.
The one thing I find with my experiences lately is this ability to stay both ‘in and out’, or at least the feeling that I am still ‘out there’ yet able to physically know I am here. It’s a bit uncomfortable at times, and it causes much confusion as to what is ‘real’!
Also, I wanted to explain an insight that I seemed to intuitively understand a bit better, but am not sure I can put into words. When I wanted to go to Saturn, that was fine, but it was more for the physical world learning than for my ‘self’.
When I attempt to go ‘inward’, I now know that it will be far better for my own learning as I would be traveling within my own ‘planes/levels’ and more toward the ‘true’ aspects of reality. It just seems more ‘correct’ now for me to stop attempting to go places that only satisfy my ‘physical reality’ senses, and seek the inward levels of existence that is a part of ‘me’, which is also a part of ‘true’ reality.
My first recollection is that I could clearly see numbers/letters on a piece of paper while lying on the couch. There were two sets four (61dl r???) and because it felt like ‘astral vision’ it made me aware of being in altered state. I can see I have a piece of paper in my hand and am writing these numbers down (as I used to do before my recorder!) when someone in the house (my husband?) came to me to see what I was writing because they knew I traveled from here and wanted to know what I was up to.
This person then walked to the kitchen and I became aware of my ‘exit signal’- my right leg rising up! I remember thinking (since I wasn’t sure this wasn’t all “real”), that I’d wait for it to rise up high enough that I knew I couldn’t possibly do that in real life!! lol Sure enough, it went clear over my head, and after a few seconds hesitation (because I thought someone was nearby), I just said, ‘heck with them, I’m outta here!’
I rolled out off couch, stood next to fireplace, and remember looking to see if I could tell who it was in the kitchen.
Not wanting to dwell on that issue, I quickly remembered I had set the intention to go see the rings on Saturn as a goal if OOB. With this thought, I immediately zoomed straight up through ceiling to blackness. I could feel the moving sensations, a slight shaking and intensity of feelings (energy sensations?) as I continued on for a very long time!
It was long enough to think ‘let’s try something!’, so I put my arms out in Superman pose, then to the sides, then thought, ‘I’ll be different this time and lie on my back as I move!’ Still feeling this movement through blackness, I thought I’d try rolling over to put my feet first, which I did!
This shows how long I ‘felt’ to be in this moving blackness, and even had the time to think, ‘well if I wanted it to be a shorter trip, all I have to do is expect to be there!’
At that point, I slowed as I see I’m moving through various rooms below me. It was dark in the rooms, as if a movie theatre, as there were small ‘lights’ lining the room near the ceiling where I was. All these people were below me in the room, and upon reaching the front, still up high, I very clearly see two (three?) women come up from below, exuberantly saying “Hi! Hello! Welcome! SO nice to meet you!”
They were SO happy to see me, and I then realized the entire crowd below me was saying “hello and welcome!” I was a bit taken aback with the clarity of their features and their overwhelming need to get my attention. (I did not feel these were ‘higher entities’ but others who existed in this “belief system” below.)
I moved onto another room without further interaction and saw this room had chairs lined up as if in a classroom. It was no longer dark, and there were men scattered about seated in these chairs. I felt as though it was a ‘math/numbers’ type lecture they were having, however upon my arrival, their interest turned to me. I was caught up in their curiosity and found myself down at their level, being pushed and pulled uncomfortably. I immediately said “that’s enough!”, and found myself into another dark room.
This one was a theatre, as I could see they were watching a movie screen. I asked one what was playing, and he answered something to the effect, “10000 Leagues Under the Sea(?)” but he explained it was all about how the afterlife works. He told me that everything is really SO much simpler than how it is portrayed in our movies – that we add so much gore and emotion to it.
I started fading back at this point and used my key word associations to recall these details as best I could. I still feel more information was given to me, however, it was in ‘feelings’ and very difficult to put into words.
The next sequence of events starts with a dream type experience where I was once again in college and concerned about the loss of my Math notebook and therefore my Math class, scheduled for 4th period. I distinctly recall I had no difficulty with the first 3 classes, and now that it was time for Math, I had no idea where my notebook was nor where the class was to be held! I then realized that may have been because I had ‘dropped’ this class due to not getting the grades that I felt were adequate enough, so therefore there was no 4th period to go to!
At this point, I remember I’m on a couch, but it appeared to be in someone else’s house! There were two women there, one left the room to change (?), but the other I remember standing nearby in this ridiculous exercise outfit with such hairy legs!! LOL That was enough for me to realize that I’m once again in an altered state, and realize my own legs are rising again!
This time, before I could roll out, I find this small ‘energy ball entity’ moving about all over my body, as if annoyingly playful. This ‘ball’ is telling me things like, ‘you really shouldn’t be traveling all about’ , ‘it’s not safe’, and ‘you really don’t need to be traveling’…(the feeling associated with it was as if it was a bit of a nuisance, but in a playful way).
I politely responded with “yes, but I like to travel, that’s how I learn! It teaches me things!” It continued to playfully annoy me for a bit longer, and when I had enough I just said, ‘that’s ok’ and intentionally sent it love…and saw that it completely disappeared!
Now I’m trying to get my leg to rise again, but the astral vision kicks in again. I clearly see someone’s bedroom – a bed with a flat thin medium brown solid headboard, quilt-like bedcovering with curved images on it (patchwork type circles?) and a dresser next to it. The bed was empty, and no one was around and I fade to wakefulness.
The last recall I have is that I am on a small bus (school?) on a country lane, and looking out the back window, can see two cows running after the bus! (I have to say here that there was a lot more going on that I was not able to recall).
I knew I was ‘out’ and having set the intention of using ‘Inward Now!’ (since my travel to Saturn didn’t work out!), I picked my feet up and attempted to spin. I spun in place, and as I did, I could hear voices talking (the words were fuzzy as if on a loudspeaker) but am not able to remember what they said! I do recall that the spinning continued until I actually felt queasy!
When the spinning stopped, I’m back on this bus with children, and see three young boys (ages 12-14?) in the seat in front of me turning back to talk to me. There is a girl sitting to the left of me. Now I feel as though I am ‘inside’ the body of a child in this bus, and can feel very concerned that I may say or do the wrong thing. I just stayed very still, not moving, and I could see that they were looking at me, watching something that I had with me. They were talking to me, but I felt I could not interact because I was ‘not really that person’. I recorded the fact that I thought they used the word ‘terrorist’(?).
Next recall is that I am trying to get something recorded, and had difficulty with my vision while I was fumbling for the buttons. (At the time I thought it could have been due to the fact that I was in ‘both worlds’ and trying to physically move while maintaining the altered mindstate.)
I don’t know what I was talking about on the recording, but I understood it at the time. Now, I hear the alarm clock going off in my son’s room, and realize that I was NOT recording and was going to lose everything! I attempted to stay in that mind frame to pull out any details, but since I was awakened so quickly with the alarm, I actually felt uncomfortable being both ‘in and out’. Once again, SO much was lost upon full awakening.
The one thing I find with my experiences lately is this ability to stay both ‘in and out’, or at least the feeling that I am still ‘out there’ yet able to physically know I am here. It’s a bit uncomfortable at times, and it causes much confusion as to what is ‘real’!
Also, I wanted to explain an insight that I seemed to intuitively understand a bit better, but am not sure I can put into words. When I wanted to go to Saturn, that was fine, but it was more for the physical world learning than for my ‘self’.
When I attempt to go ‘inward’, I now know that it will be far better for my own learning as I would be traveling within my own ‘planes/levels’ and more toward the ‘true’ aspects of reality. It just seems more ‘correct’ now for me to stop attempting to go places that only satisfy my ‘physical reality’ senses, and seek the inward levels of existence that is a part of ‘me’, which is also a part of ‘true’ reality.
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