181) Rough Exit; Fearful Voice; Buddy Visit; Fairies and Leprechauns

Although I have had a few experiences over the past few weeks which I have not written up, these last two were quite interesting so I thought I’d write them up to share and get some insights on.

7.29.12 

This experience was unusual in that I felt it was a totally different exit than what I am used to.  Almost always, once I realize I’m ready to separate, I just roll off to my left off the bed and move on.  This time, once I was aware of being ready to separate, I felt heavy and unable to move. 

Determined to get out, I literally pushed myself up to a sitting position with my arms, concerned for a brief moment that I was actually physically doing this because it felt so ‘real’.  Once sitting, I had to tug and pull to extricate myself until I was standing at the bedside. 

Still feeling the tremendous pull back to body, I affirmed ‘to the door!’  to get away and blindly (as it was complete darkness) moved through the door, feeling the change in texture as my clue that I had exited the bedroom.

Flying down the stairs, I felt so free, assuming my now usual position of floating backwards on my back (looking to where I’ve been) as I watched the rotating circular pattern of lights that encompassed me in the blackness.   Knowing how much fun it was to fly, I did my usual flips and dips to just have fun.

Realizing I had had no plans as to where to go if out, I just called out into the blackness that surrounded me, “Is anyone there?”   (I don’t know why I did this instead of making a plan to go somewhere, possibly I had a feeling someone was with me.) 

From off to my left, I distinctly heard a female speak four words/syllables in a husky deep ‘ominous’ voice.  (I recorded what I thought she said in syllables, as this was either another language or not meant for me to understand.   They were  “Aah baa for reel” or something like that)

The problem was that this ‘disembodied voice’ gave me just a twinge of fear as it felt like a ‘not normal’ experience.  I began to fade back and as I was pulled back I saw a four poster bed situated in a corner of a room that was surrounded with lots of wall decorations.  I have no idea whose room this was or what it meant.

8.4.12   

This last experience was remarkable in that it started with a bit of a surprise for me and ended with an even bigger surprise.  My first recollection was that I was lying my head against a male’s left chest and could feel his breath as it blew against my left ear.  It felt physically real, and I could even feel him breathe, and move his right arm to scratch his head.  

I could not see who this was, and with increasing awareness, realized this couldn’t possibly be a physical reality as I live alone and have no one else here with me.  I worried just a bit, wondering who this could possibly be!

I was quickly distracted by a pawing to my left and turned around quickly, happily realizing it was my former black lab companion (who passed a few years ago) Buddy!!!  I was overjoyed at his coming to see me again, and I could tell by his familiar bark and wag of the tail how excited he was seeing me!

I called him up to the bed, cuddled and played with him, so ecstatic that he was here again!  I KNEW I was now out of body (as he’s come to see before), and flew off the bed saying, ‘come on, let’s go!”

Now in full awareness, I knew I could go anywhere, and so I decided I’d go visit my friend NJ.  Affirming ‘To NJ!” I started to fly up and away, but now  I could hear Buddy whimper slightly, the same sound he’d make when he thought he was going to be left behind.  I called to him, “Well, come on, Buddy! You can come too!” and he come toward me with a running leap.

As Buddy leapt toward me, I could feel a slight vibrational change, and realized I was once again traveling backwards, on my back, into fading darkness.  As it became darker, I could sense a bit of fear creeping in, so I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t know when it became totally black and therefore more fearful (which could have ended the experience).

Once again, I enjoyed the leisurely drift backwards into the blackness, doing my flips and dips, and slowly became aware of countryside below me.  It was twilight, and looking down from on high, I could see the landscape below , including shadows cast from the plants and trees.

I noticed what looked like glittery ‘orbs’ coming all around me with an inquisitive feel to them.  They appeared to be like sparkling Christmas ornaments, with various designs and colors interwoven in them. 

My senses gave me the feeling these were ‘extraterrestrials’ (ETs) of some sort but I was not fearful of them.  I remarked how pretty they were and although I felt they were coming to investigate me, I wanted to investigate them!

As I looked at them, I now sensed people below, and turning around, saw a whole group of ‘tiny people’ quickly disperse and hide into the shadows as if they didn’t want me to see them.   I called out to them as I flew down, ‘Don’t hide! Come out and talk with me!’

Very intrigued, I tried to communicate with them, and now sensed these were small ‘fairy’ or ‘leprechaun’ type people.   They timidly moved toward me, and appeared so cute, child-like in appearance yet fully grown people.   They were SO curious as to who I was and as I talked with them, I felt they wanted to learn more about me, but I told them “no, I need to learn more about you!”

I have no recollection as to how this entire experience ended, but it was amazing while slowly waking to still be able to ‘see’ those orbs sparkling around me.  Somehow I just KNOW these were the ‘little people’ of the land that so many call ‘fairies’ and ‘leprechauns’.   I have always felt a kinship with fairies in some way but now I can tell you now, they DO exist!

ADDENDUM: I just wanted to share something I found very interesting when discussing this experience on another forum.  I had no idea that the ‘orbs’ I saw just prior to the ‘little people’ may have been in some way related!!   As noted: "When human beings capture orbs on film or when you are able to see them or sense them in your presence, what you are seeing or sensing could be one of hundreds of different kinds of beings.  It might be an angel, a fairy, a spirit animal, or countless other kind of being.  What or who it is depends on what your soul has called to interact with you at that time"  

180) Another Death Transition, Making Amends

2012_07_22   

This particular experience was not like my usual in that I was not fully aware of my out of body status until later on.  What I am able to say is that this ‘death transition’ feeling I have felt a few times before, and am wondering if these are just simulations for me to experience, learning the ability to ‘let go’ when I realize fighting is futile, or could they really be past live experiences with passing over that I have already been through?  (Here’s a link to another similar death transition experience on my blog: http://karen659.blogspot.com/2009/01/96-death-transition-and-full-power-obe.html)

I was driving my car down a very familiar back road, one I have traveled many times.  It was raining, and I became aware I was having feelings of ‘foreboding’ and danger, and wondered why it was happening.  As I drove down a very steep part of the road, I could see further down at the bottom of the hill that water had flooded over the roadway.

Initially I thought I might want to pick up some speed to get through it, however, a car coming from the other direction started passing through the water.  I was shocked to see the car start spinning around, pushed off the road by the high waters. 

I immediately put my car in reverse and backed up this steep hill quickly.  Thinking maybe I should stop and help this other driver, I glanced back through the front of my windshield to see that his car was nearly capsized, but thankfully I could see that he was able to safely exit through his window and climb onto dry ground.  I knew he had had a very close call with his situation.

As I backed up this hill, near the top I remembered there was a crossroad and wondered which way would be best to drive for an alternative route.  Pulling into a grassy area by the crossroad, I could see my choice was either to the right or left as I somehow knew I could not have gone back the way I came.

I could see water cascading across the crossroads, running from the right to the left.  I figured I’d better drive to the right, where the water was coming from, instead of taking a chance that the water was pooling down the road to the left.

As I started to pull out, I had to stop quickly because a large multi-passenger SUV was pulling out from that direction.  I was shocked to see it looked as though it had been in a terrible crash, with pieces missing, and obvious injury to the people inside.  I worried that maybe I should stop to help them too, but then figured since they were able to drive the vehicle, I guess they would be ok.

I turned quickly into the road leading to the right, and again was shocked to see that it appeared to be a ‘dead end’ (no pun intended).  Immediately I saw what looked like an accident scene, and too late realized there were electric wires down and across the road!!

I had driven directly into the path of the downed wires, as it was raining and everything from there on out happened at once.  I KNEW I was about to be electrocuted, I could see the wires, hear the crackle and pop, and felt the tingly vibration of something happening.  I knew I was going to pass over, and was not afraid at all, and my only concern was that it was to be painless.  I was thrilled when I realized all I felt was this slight tingle or vibration.

Wondering what was going to happen next, I remember thinking I’ll have to do a reality check now, because I was curious what sort of reality I was moving into!  Immediately, I was fully awake in my bed, feeling the soft gentle sensations of settling back into my body.

After recording this experience, I went back to sleep and now found myself driving a car again, a common theme for me so I more easily become ‘aware’ when this happens within a dream.

I got the signal that I might be able to move out of body and so tried to roll out of the car.  I found it difficult to separate, and had a few seconds of thinking maybe I AM really driving and shouldn’t be throwing myself out of the car!! Lol

However, this indecision as to whether I’m really driving or not is also another signal I use to know I’m ready to exit, as when I’m driving for real in the physical I absolutely have no doubt I am driving.  Therefore, ANY indecision as to whether it’s ‘real’ or not, means it’s not!

This time I threw myself backward, and immediately found myself out and flying! I was thrilled! It’s been a long time since I had this freedom of flight, and thoroughly enjoyed my swooping and flips!  Realizing I had to have a destination, I remember asking to ‘take me where I need to learn’, and suddenly I found myself just outside a large house.

I recognized it was the house of someone from ‘a long time ago’, yet not anyone I can recall in this physical life.  I also knew it was a woman whom I had had a ‘falling out’ with, and we had been estranged as friends for a long time.  I felt I was there to try to make amends.

Knocking at the door, I was surprised to have it answered by this woman’s mother.  She was friendly and polite, and I was relieved to be asked to enter.  At this time, all I wanted to do was to go to her back yard to a particular tree and get a ‘seed pod’ that grew there.  I wanted this keepsake as a momento of our friendship from a long time ago.

As I walked through the house, I came face to face with the woman whom I was estranged from.  She was hesitating and not sure of what to say. I told her that her mom let me in and that all I wanted was this ‘pod’ from the backyard tree. 

I could sense she was nervous but yet resistant to this idea.  I did not want to upset her more, and so told her that if she really didn’t want me to go to the backyard, that all she had to do was say, “I’d really rather you didn’t”…and so that’s exactly what she said to me.  She went on to explain other reasons why it wouldn’t be a good idea, but I had already decided to withdraw back to the front door to exit.

At the front door, I heard her mom talking to me as I unlocked the double front door (actually two doors together,  opening one at a time.)  She mentioned that this same tree was growing in the front yard and peering out the window, I could see the pods I wanted were growing there as well, so those would be the ones I’d take.

As I exited, the scene changed to a narrowed dark corridor descending down, and as I traveled down, I can only remember that I met two other people, one of whom was a ‘weak’ woman in a very small toy car(?)  I know I discussed something but upon full wakefulness immediately afterward, I had no other recollection of what happened in that corridor.   

179) OBE During Visit to California

June 17, 2012

So, with his permission and at the request of Jaime, I’m sharing the OBE I experienced while visiting with him at his home in California this past month. 

Jaime and Bill are wonderful hosts who share a passion for the out-of-body experience, although Bill has not had one (that he can recall) yet.   Jaime is the administrator of the wonderful Facebook page, Astral Projectors, where so many beautiful souls share their questions and experiences.  (Just ask me to join)

My experience began after waking about 3am and wishing to attempt an OBE with Jaime (whom I found out later had already put that ‘intention’ out to the Universe for it to happen that night!)

I remember becoming aware as I felt both my arms and legs beginning to float.  I took that signal and rolled out of bed, aware of being in near darkness.  Stating ‘clarity now!’ I was able to see the entire bedroom I was in and actually took a moment to try to decide whether it was polite to go wake Jaime up or not! (Not too many guests visiting in a home would want to go invade their host’s bedroom!)

Deciding I would, I moved through the walls into the other room across the hall.  Speaking with Jaime later, I was able to describe its appearance much as it appears in real life.   I could see Bill already standing out of body next to his bed, exclaiming excitedly, “Hey Karen!  Look at me! Isn’t this great?! It’s so amazing!”   He was in awe of being out of body and so I moved closer, telling him to raise his hand as I placed my palm next to his to ‘feel’ the energy pulsate.

Asking ‘where’s Jaime?’ I then notice him joining us, all excited and not wanting to stop and talk! Feeling his eagerness, I said, ‘then, let’s go!’ and moved toward the far wall to move out.

It was here that a change happened, and at first it felt as though I was ‘stuck’ in this thicker than normal wall.  Jaime and Bill were no longer anywhere to be found, and I transitioned to the inside of a beautiful mansion.  

It was a country club type of feeling, where I was a guest, although not really a guest because I felt more like I was a friend of this very rich family.  It was a very fancy, elegant home with lots of rooms, and I recall viewing from up high a huge party going on in one room.  I didn’t feel to be ‘a part’ of what was going on, but was thrilled to see everyone’s joy in being there. 

I moved downstairs where I knew there were other people, and saw a table where two men were sitting.  They were dressed in 19^th century type clothing, with cloaks and hats.  I did not recognize them from a physical standpoint but somehow ‘knew’ they were Jaime and Bill. 

Lined up in front of the table was a group of people waiting for payment for their services.  Jaime and Bill were graciously writing checks to them, and I remember feeling a bit perturbed that one woman in particular was taking advantage of their generosity by falsely giving information about the time she worked.  (How I knew that, I’m not sure!)   Jaime and Bill didn’t question it, yet I felt it was not right for someone to take advantage of their good hearted nature.

So, I decide to return upstairs to wait for them to be done, and can recall as I walked up the stairs, a huge door-sized picture hanging on the wall.  It was a beautiful three dimensional garden scene, with a bench, stream and curved bridge.  I marveled at how cool it was that I could get a full 3D image of any part of it depending on where I looked!  Above me was a beautiful chandelier, something I know Jaime and Bill love even today!  

For the most part, this experience ended here, but somehow I could also recall someone at the very end reminding me that it was Father’s Day and that I’ll want to be sure to remember to call my Dad!! (It WAS Father’s day that morning when I woke…and yes, I called my dad!)

Discussing this experience with Bill and Jaime later, I was happy to realize I described the room they were in accurately; however, neither Bill nor Jaime had any recollection at all of being out of body! To me, this just adds evidence that we all DO travel nightly, and it’s just that our awareness and focus is not put where we will retain any recall upon waking each morning.  

178) Life’s Lessons

Interesting 'experience' I had just before waking this morning.....funny how your entire life can play out over what feels to be a 'short simple event' within a 'dreamstate'.  I can't give details here (too many personal ones), but it seems that each action I did within it correlated with a 'lesson' I had learned over my life and where I'm at now, and what I need to do to continue on.

The ultimate conclusion was based upon the idea that I have learned to be the one 'in control' of what happens to me now with all the changes I have had over the past year and will have to keep moving forward. (I knew I 'came with a crowd so can't leave' on my own yet) 

I have learned that it was MY perception of what others are thinking of me that formed much of my life actions (I felt that insecurity I had had throughout life). I knew I had made some 'not so good decisions' that I was able to overcome and understand why I didn't need to do it anymore (although my actions may have opened the door for others to do similar behind me) 

And at the very end, I was SO confident I HAD done all this before (many times!) and so confident in how I was feeling about myself now. Facing this last 'obstacle' (having to climb up to get to a familiar place was going to be difficult but NOT impossible) and now knowing I was 'properly dressed', I easily climbed!! 

I woke just as I KNEW I was to the point of the climb that it was going to be easier now to move into that 'place'! So there...even without the details you can see all the learning I've done!

To be honest, I almost didn’t pay attention to this ‘experience’ as the action I was going through felt almost mundane and nothing like an OBE.  However, there WAS such as strong feeling associated with each event, I felt it to be significant enough to try to recall more details.

Sure enough, with ‘conscious awareness’ and understand now from a ‘physical’ perspective (although many things were quite abstract and difficult to interpret), I was able to knit together how it related to my life and where I am at.  As they say, there are truly NO wrong paths in life, so I guess I’m just where I am supposed to be!


Addendum: Even my own experiences have changed a bit lately, as I’m finding there is a lot more ‘inner work’ being done.  IMO, it is the new energies coming in our planet aligning ourselves to higher possibilities, helping us to focus on ‘core issues’ (personal growth and development) that are best at this time, as it truly is important to realize that the only one with the MOST ability to change is yourself!  With personal growth and the sharing of experiences, we are better able to help others grow, which in turn, will always help ourselves!

177) Lucid Learning; Mirrors Reflect Creative Abilities

June 15, 2012   

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve shared an OBE (with the one last week lost entirely due to an early morning phone call), but I do want to share an experience I had early this AM that was more of a lucid learning experience.  I do not remember being out of body, however, I do remember clearly I was with a guide and conscious of new information about to be given for a question I had regarding what is ‘true reality’ and how it relates to the One Moment.

I was being shown a snapshot (picture) of a scene that I remembered from childhood where I held a very large mirror up again my body and the camera caught the exact time my reflection and I appeared side by side in the same photo.  It appeared as though there were two perfect images of me, without seeing there was a mirror involved.

I then knew this image was being shown as a way of explaining how our personal perceptions create what we see.  There was so much abstract information being processed in this short explanation, that I understood it entirely at the time, however, now in trying to make sense now of what I saw, it is difficult to do with words.  But I will do the best I can to share what I learned.

I was shown a ‘glass house’ full of people, and noticed that each of them carried a mirror. Some mirrors were very small; others had full body length mirrors with them.  It may not even have been a real house but somewhere they could look outside into OTHER people and activities (with each of them carrying their own mirrors).  I saw that by positioning and shining their mirrors to exactly where they wanted to ‘bring something into’ their lives inside this glass house, they just had to point and shoot their mirror’s reflection to that ‘moment’ they desired which was going on outside.

At the moment of pointing this reflection to the activity or person outside the house, immediately I could see that not only was the reflection seen in the personal mirror they carried, but also, there was movement of the ‘essence’ of it or some other part of it brought  into the ‘glass house’ where they were.   I could clearly see this ‘reflection process’ happening with the interaction of these reflections and at the time it all made perfect sense.

I felt all we had to do was point the mirror (and I felt it was up to us how big a mirror we had with us, as it was different sizes at different times) to whatever we wanted to ‘focus’ on outside of this glass house in these other lives and activities going on elsewhere that we also wanted to bring into our own house.

Now for the interesting part, I was then able to understand how a snapshot (picture) taken of this ‘reflection process’ is incapable of accurately portraying what is really happening.  Someone else taking this picture with their ‘camera’ captures only the single moment that shows the reflection in the mirror of this person, however, cannot accurately show how this same reflection is ‘coming into’ this person’s ‘life’ or house.

In my conscious analyzing once awake trying to make sense of this, I believe it shows we always have the capabilities to have whatever we wish within this life (house).  The ‘glass house’, IMO, is a symbol of our perceived ‘separateness’, where we BELIEVE we have a ‘wall’ between us and the ‘other creative realms’ and/or experiences in other lives we have lived, but where in actuality, all of it is very accessible to us if only we took the time to make our ‘mirror’ (open mind or ability to ‘reflect’; aka connect) bigger, and focus on what exactly we want ‘out there’, knowing we ARE able to bring into THIS life anything we wish.

When someone else is trying to explain or ‘capture’ the process that is happening for other individuals from an ‘external’ point of view, it is impossible for them to completely understand or even explain with a short ‘snapshot of a moment’ (camera picture) what is truly happening to us at that moment.   Hence the best way to understand and ‘see’ what is going on is to make your ‘mirror’ bigger and experience it for yourself.

Hence the picture I saw from my childhood in the beginning was a means of explaining this all to me, for which I completely understood and thanked the guide for showing me.  Of course, upon waking, to try to explain what I saw and felt into words is nearly impossible, but I do hope this gives you some idea of what I learned deep inside.)
---------

ADDENDUM:  Comment from another forum and answer for this experience I thought I should share: "how do you know if you experience was an OBE or a LD?" 

I am of the belief that there is such a fine line between OBE and LD, even vivid dreaming at times. It's just a personal viewpoint that I don't like to 'label' anything one way or another as it puts a descriptive 'limit' to what it truly may be. 

For this experience, I am aware I am dreaming and that there is another 'guide' with me who I am asking a question of, despite not remembering getting out into the 'near physical' as common with many of my OBEs. I feel I could have been in a 'higher vibrational' area unaware of any 'body' sense or separateness as one feels when OOB, or perhaps "just" a lucid dream, but regardless, the learning I feel I received remains very strong even hours now after waking. 

I know this is a major concern for many that their experiences be 'labeled' one way or another, and IMO, as long as you are learning, whatever mode you are using, it is all good! 

Therefore I'll not truly be able to say exactly what this was, perhaps a combination of any or all 'labels' we give these experiences...

Also be sure to read the insightful comments below!

176) Attempt to Meet a Friend

My OOB experiences have been less frequent than usual, likely due to my lack of focus on making this a priority in my life at this time.  However, I am thrilled to know I still can get out and enjoy that freedom and fun that each realization of being out of body brings me. 

I had decided prior to bedtime to do the WBTB method as usual, and this time try to meet up with a good friend who lives overseas.  He also has been getting OOB more frequently, and so I thought maybe I could connect with him.

I found myself out twice last night, with the first time a bit unusual in that I felt I had not even finished my induction visualizations when I realized my legs were already floating!   I felt like I was still wide awake but knew enough to not bother to analyze this floating situation, so I just acted on it.

Instead of rolling out as usual, I decided to ‘follow my legs’ and gently floated the rest of my body straight up and to the ceiling!  Once there, I wanted to be outside immediately and so headed directly out the sliding door nearby.

I could feel the cool crisp nighttime air and used the affirmations ‘clarity now!’ and ‘awareness now’ to clear up any remaining ‘fog’ in my thinking.  I remember flying over the porch railing and out over the yard below.  I flew up high with such happiness as I was SO enjoying this freedom of flight! 

I see below me the forests and rolling hills and up ahead I noticed a cityscape, lit up in wondrous colors against the nighttime sky.  Before I get to the city, I swoop down near the ground and roll over on my back, face up, surprised to now feel gentle ‘pings’ of rain hitting my body and face.  I wonder if it’s really raining ‘in real life’, but don’t think too much more of it, just enjoying the sensations.

I fly to the city, and find myself stopping in front of one particular house and assume I’m supposed to meet someone here.  I started climbing up the little hill that is just in front of it and as I get to the top, I see a young boy walking down the driveway towards me.

I feel like I need to get his attention and so I pick up a small stick and throw it at his feet.  He stops, looks at me (or at least in my direction) and I ask, ‘Who are you?’   I get the feeling he is slightly fearful, unsure of what to do next, and I’m not even sure he actually saw me or just felt the stick hit his legs. 

I was a bit disappointed to realize at this point I had that ‘pullback’ sensation and quickly found myself back in bed.

I was determined to get out again, and this time to remember my intention to meet up with my friend.  I was thrilled to realize after a short time that once again I felt the slight buzzing and moved to the door after rolling out. 

Again, I rolled over on my back to gaze up at the billions and billions of beautiful stars twinkling above me, in awe of such beauty and the massive number that I could see while OOB.  It was at this point I remember I wanted to meet my friend (and I’m now thinking it may have been these stars that signaled this memory, as we talk a lot about his love for astronomy and how beautiful the stars and galaxies are when seen through his telescopes.)

So I now know what I want to do, and I am determined to get there.  Floating gently and slowly, I realize I must do something to move faster and so shout out loudly “To (his name)!”  a few times, and I emphasize each word with emotion to see if that will move me faster.  It almost felt as if I screamed this affirmation out loud, there was so much energy put into it!

I was please to feel myself moving, faster and faster, and soon was within a silver tunnel that had beautiful colors swirling around within it.  (This was a first for me, as most times the tunnel is black and dark as I move from one area to another).  I was comforted to hear the ‘roaring’ sound that always accompanies this movement, and as I neared the end of the tunnel, I could see it open up into a forested area. 

I landed on a well-worn dirt pathway that had trees along both sides of the road creating a canopy of leaves overhead.   Looking down the road, I see my friend walking briskly toward me, accompanied by two dogs that are running on ahead.  I’m thrilled, as this is a likely scene to find him in as he frequently takes long hikes through mountains and forests.

I’m a bit confused at first, because I know he has only one dog and I definitely see two, both short-haired and of similar size and color.   I don’t question it then, but in hindsight, I realize that it could likely have been his beloved dog Tigger who passed on previously who was accompanying him and his current dog Ruby on the walk.

                                                        

I didn’t get a good look at them because just as I was calling out his name, the dogs turned around to follow him as he veered off to a trail that went in another direction!  I remember hollering after him to not leave me just as I got there!

I decide to follow him and after a slight transition in scenes, I watch as he goes into this building that is not his house.  It’s a workshop of sorts and I’m desperately trying to find out what he’s doing there.  He is just not paying any attention to me, even as I swoop very close and yell, ‘can you hear me?’

I turn to a woman who is next to me as ask her, “why can’t he hear me?” and she starts rambling on about something that didn’t relate to my question and made no sense at all.  I said ‘thank you’ and moved on, now realizing I was in some sort of ‘astral city’ where many people go when OOB.

Looking around, I see all sorts of people all busy building and constructing things, collecting their tools and getting supplies to create what they wish.  My friend was in his glory, searching for the best wood and tools to put together something he was intent on building.  I even saw my brother there, also working diligently building something with deep intent and joy. 

I had the feeling that whatever you wanted to create was allowed here, as everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves yet oblivious to any other activity than what they were intent on working on.  I remember watching one group of people in another area collect items for an excursion of some kind, getting lifejackets and boats together for a group adventure.

The only other memory of this experience I had was being with two girls who had created some sort of dietary ‘supplement’ that was supposed to give you energy and they wanted me to try it.  I was resistant because it looked like small round white filament type spikes that I felt could harm me if I ingested it.

The experience ends at this point, and although I was a bit disappointed that my friend didn’t acknowledge me, I at least felt comforted that I had the conscious recall while OOB of what I had set out to do and had another magnificent time flying so freely!

175) Oceania; False Awakenings

17 May 2012

It’s been a rough few weeks for me as many of you know with health issues and many other personal issues that present as ‘bumps’ in the road of life right now.  Because of this emotional and physical turmoil at times, my OOB experiences have been less than normal in both frequency and content.

However, about a week ago I had an experience meeting someone who had passed that I will share with you now along with last night’s experience that had a few symbolic images, as well as an interesting turn of events.

Last week’s experience was a full OBE with much clarity and control, and I so enjoying getting out again!  I woke in full awareness that I could just roll out of body, which I did with ease.  My bedroom was so clear and I effortlessly floated out of the room and down the stairs. 

My vision was perfect, the house looked just as it does, and I remember making things even better by using ALL my affirmations at some point, including ‘clarity now!’, ‘vision now!’ and even ‘awareness now!’. 

Giving a little jump and flip off the stairs into the living room, I was so thrilled to be out again!  I wondered if I could just pass through the floor into the basement and started to do so, but realizing it was rather dark down there, I decided I’d better do something worthwhile.

I affirmed, ‘Take me to where I need to be!’ and at that point, was drawn into the wall by the fireplace.  I passed through the wall VERY slowly, feeling every bit of the change in texture, almost thinking that I might not be able to get through it without suffocating.

As I passed through the wall, instead of outdoors, I found myself in what felt to be a ‘another life’ in this same house, where there was a celebration of some sort going on.  All my family members were there having a grand time, happy and boisterous, sharing food and drink and good times.

However, I somehow felt ‘left out’ once I saw my sister and her fiancé there and how happy they were.  Knowing I was alone without a partner, I felt envious of their loving relationship and I became aware of being of ‘two’ minds.  I was this current OOB Karen, able to read the thoughts and feelings of this other Karen who knew she was missing out on the ‘fun’ here because I/she was allowing our mood to be colored by this feeling of ‘poor me’ and ‘pity me’ that I/we were experiencing.  I was moping around, not wanting to celebrate because I/we did not have what I perceived others to have.

It was rather confusing to be of ‘two’ minds, yet I knew somehow this was part of ‘me’ and yet not part of me.  I feel likely there was a lesson here for me, especially pertaining to current life events.

My next memory was of a transition back to the bedroom as it really is, and seeing an older gentleman in the corner of the room.  He told me he was a friend of my son, his name was Oceania, and he was a sailor.  He had a thin beard, wore a sailor’s cap and jovially proceeded to share his many ‘tales of the sea’ with me. 

At some point, we started to discuss the topic of where he’s at, as he’s telling me how great it was when he first got ‘here’, because he remembered how bad his physical life was.  He’s now not sure this is as good a place as he needs to be in anymore.   He feels maybe there is more to do elsewhere, and it was here that I knew I was to help him move on.  I know I told him there is always something more to do and that he can move on if he wished.  Memories are very limited as to exactly what happened because as you will read next, a false awakening that followed limited my recollections once again.

It was right after this experience that I felt someone actually under me in the bed I was lying in!  Seeing the blankets all messed up, I thought it was those, but then realized it was my daughter who had come into the bed with me! (In actuality my daughter is 2000 miles away in California).

She tells me she wanted to surprise me and come home and she was exhausted from racing home to be with me.  I thought it was strange to have her here, but also knew I had just had this Oceania meeting and wanted to get it recorded.

So I told her, “We can talk more after I get this last experience recorded” and proceed to turn on the recorder.  Realizing that the recorder wasn’t working (a signal that I’m not fully awake), I forced myself to ‘pull back’ to a lighter awareness, and proceeded once again to record all about Oceania. 

Again, I realized things weren’t working right, and so had to pull back one more time, this time to full wakefulness where I could record successfully but also realizing that my daughter really wasn’t in the bed with me!

These false awakenings always are so frustrating as I seem to know that they are somehow meant to deter me from having full memory recall of whatever I just experienced.

Last night’s experience was similar in some respects to this false awakening, but the first two memories of lucidity that night were more symbolic I believe.  First, I remember walking into a gym like building where I had ‘worked out’ many times before.  I had not been here in a long time and was greeted as I entered by a woman who hollered out “Hi, happy to see you again!” as I entered. 

Once inside, I could see grass growing up where I used to work out, indicating I hadn’t been there in a while and was long overdue.  I know it felt good to be back, but what I was doing I have no clue!

Another recall involved what I called ‘astral vision’ as I knew I was fully awake and in bed, but watching scenes roll past that I was a part of.  I don’t remember much except seeing many different places I had lived, including one with buildings that were ravaged by war.

In this last experience, I became lucid when I felt someone ‘physically’ climb over me to get into the bed alongside me!  Again it was my daughter!  However, this time I was lucid enough to know that it was not ‘real’, and I start talking to her and telling her things like, “Are you going to remember you are here with me?….Are you here because there is something you need to tell me?......”Did you know you are dreaming right now?' (as I knew I was OOB in bed since she is still in California).

While I”m trying to find out what 'message' she had for me by being there.....she starts talking to me…and she was able to turn the tables and convince ME that it wasn't a dream, that she was really right there!!!

She was being silly like she sometimes does, laughing and having fun and even had me 'feel' her leg to prove she was physically there.  I swear I could physically feel her leg!  She playfully covered her head with the blankets, and even started to sneeze, but stopped.

I was so confused and I thought, 'Wow, maybe you ARE here! So how and when did you get home?”   I now thought maybe I was wrong and that she WAS really home!  She was laughingly having fun with my confusion and it was such a surprise to me when I woke fully and saw she WASN'T really there!!!

I will say that my daughter IS due to come home to stay with me by the end of June when her husband deploys, so perhaps that is part of the reason I was so easily convinced that she was truly here!

174) OBE During my Hospitalization

April 23, 2012  

During the course of my prolonged hospital stay, I had had a series of lucid dreams and even one OBE that I can recall.  Unfortunately, being in the hospital environment, being woken quickly and without recorder or even paper available at all times, the amount of recall is quite limited.  In addition, due to the need for some very strong mind-altering pain medicines, not all dreams were coherent and able to be described.

The lucid dreams I had during this stay were ones where I knew I was dreaming, yet did not feel in control (likely due to the medicine).  I remember one being in a ship, watching the waves roll, thrilled with how big they were getting.  I was never fearful, even at one point where I felt the wave pick up the entire ship and fly it through the air as it was tossed over a long distance.    I knew I was safe and the landing would be easy. 

However, the one OBE I did have had some interesting points despite it being a bit more like a lucid dream where I played along with the action that happened, but in the fully aware state of being out of body.

My first recollection was that of rolling out, but finding myself standing next to my sleeping body in a bedroom I was not familiar with.  Moving in the room, I wasn’t completely convinced I was truly out of body as the environment was different and there were all these other people in the room trying to convince me that I was NOT out of body!  

Looking around, I noticed a digital clock on the shelf nearby.   I was thrilled to see that the display was unreadable, a validation for me that I was out of body as I have used this signal before.    However, still not completely convinced as those around me were persistent, I made myself look away and back again, and when it remained unreadable, I felt firmly validated now that I was indeed out of body.

There was a big glass door leading to a balcony from this room and wanting to get outside, I passed easily through the doors.  On the balcony, I looked down and saw I was about 10 stories high, looking onto a city street below.  Knowing I was out of body, I thought about just jumping off the edge and flying down, but again, those people in the room are doing their best to convince me that I’m NOT out of body!

Now I have some doubts again and hesitate jumping.   The people show me the broken screen on the door, saying “look, you broke that screen as you passed through the door, so you are not out of body!”  Somehow, I just knew I was, but taking it cautiously, I did some slow handstands on the edge of the balcony, feeling myself float and then doing a little jump and flip while holding on with one hand. 

Now fully convinced that I would not be doing this unless I WAS out of body, I fearless jumped and floated gently down to the street level. 

Memories here of exactly what I did are hazy.  I was with a group of three young people, two boys and a girl, in a car, making plans.  I was asked if I wanted to go to this dance with them, and initially said no because I didn’t think I was dressed appropriately.   I quickly changed my mind and said ok when they insisted.   Now noticing how well dressed (suit and tie) one male was to go to this dance, I knew I had to return to my room to change, as I remembered I had just bought a few beautiful dresses and some new underclothes that would be appropriate.

I told them I’d be right back, and proceeded to fly along the street, gathering stares and stunned looks from the people on the sidewalk as I flew up to my balcony where my bedroom was. 

Just outside the balcony I noticed a computer like screen that I felt was the way I needed to go to enter into the room.  I was concerned that I would not fit into this little screen, and looking toward the bedroom wall, knew that all I had to do was pass through it, so I did!

I’m now in my bedroom and standing alongside my bed, looking at myself sleeping!  Looking away quickly, I worried that I might return to body if I got too close or looked too long.    Telling myself, ‘no, I  will stay out of body’, I turned again to look at myself on the bed. 

I was a bit taken aback to see that I had changed into a deranged looking and disfigured woman, with some sort of dark ugly ‘blob’ next to me on the bed, somehow knowing this also was a part of me.  I did not panic or become fearful, but just wondered why I was being presented to myself this way.  Without further thought, I remembered the dance, and proceeded to get dressed.

I had to search a bit for these new dresses, deciding the melon colored one would be perfect.   As I’m dressing, I was startled to see that one of the males from the car had flown up to the balcony door and was peering in at me!  I was surprised he could do so, but then also knew that he was ‘special’ and something more than the others.  He made some comment about not having seen such beauty in a long time and it was at this point that I have no further recall.

173) Sending Myself Healing Energy

2012_04_15

This is the first OBE that I have had since I became very ill two weeks ago and was hospitalized. I’m home now and recovering slowly, and am thankful to be able to still get out of body despite the less-than-optimal state of health.

I became aware when I found myself visiting another house where I felt I was ‘staying’ as a visitor. I can recall knowing I was out of body, but wondered why I felt so sluggish and slow. To prove to myself I was out of body, I managed to do some slow flips and little jumps that confirmed my state of being.

The next recall was lifting higher and higher, looking down on my own house. As I came down into my house, I moved from room to room, viewing everything from ceiling level. Passing from the dining room to the kitchen, I intentionally made myself pass through the wall, and thoroughly enjoyed the feel of the ‘crackling’ sensation as I did. This only continued to confirm to me that I was out and in control.

Heading back to the living room, I passed by a large mirror that is there in real life. I see my reflection and continue on past. Seeing myself, it makes me remember that I had wanted to send healing energy to my body should I find myself out again and so moved toward the bedroom.

In the next moment, I stopped to think, ‘hey, if I can see myself in the mirror, maybe I can just send energy to my body via my reflection!” Somehow I knew I just didn’t want to get close to my physical body as I would likely return without sending healing.

Facing the mirror, I remember putting my hands up next to my reflection and moving them across my abdomen and head , two areas where I still have discomfort in real life. (I am amazed that the clarity of thought allowed me to remember where I hurt!)

I remember thinking, ‘send energy!’, but did not feel or see anything unusual happening. I do remember paying attention at my face in the mirror and concerned that it was a sad and tired looking Karen, definitely not one of my better appearances.

I became distracted at the arrival of my son coming into the room and being playful and silly. He paid no attention to me, and after a few minutes, he looked out the door, saw something that felt to be urgent and took off.

It was at this point I felt the tug back to body and found myself awake on the bed. Although this was a relatively short and passive sort of OBE, at least I remembered I had the intention of sending myself some healing.

172) Sending Love; Flexing Door; Flying Again

2012_04_01

My first recollection of ‘awareness’ started with a surprised sensation of a hand firmly gripped on my right shoulder as I lay in bed. Bringing myself to full awareness, I realized someone or something was firmly attached to my back and holding onto my shoulder.

I remembered I had had this feeling once before, as it was accompanied as before with a sense of ‘concern’ and slight negativity. Knowing not to show fear, I attempted to twist to see who or what it was, and then finally having to swing it around so it was now in front of me.

What I saw was a man, a more ‘solid’ or heavier outline of a man standing off to my right. I did not get ‘good’ feelings from him, and I know I spoke with him, but the overwhelming feeling was that I needed to ‘send love’ to ‘let go’ of him.

I affirmed without fear, “I send you love!” and he disappeared!

My next awareness was again lying in bed in FULL vibrations! I’m excited to think I’ll be getting out, so I attempt to roll without trying to wait for more to happen! I find it difficult this time, and it’s like pulling taffy to get my body out. Finally, with only my head hanging off the bed, I remember that Jo used to described herself as ‘slithering’ out of bed to the floor sometimes in order to exit, so that’s just what I did!

Now I’m fully out and affirm, ‘to the door’! Now heading down the stairs, my vision is dim, so I remember affirming ‘Vision now!’ a few times. Once in the living room, I notice it looks nearly the same as real life, however, as usual in the astral, I also remembered there are always a few things different.

I saw a cute little white kitten off to one side, and felt I should to investigate, however, I also saw the front door which reminded me I so wanted to get outdoors again!

Disregarding the pull to the kitten, I move to the front door, and stop to think, ‘it’s been so long since I’ve taken the time to really sense the change in texture as I pass through’ that I wanted to just revel in the fact that I could put my hands through the front door.

When I did, I was ‘shocked’ in every sense of the word! I ‘felt’ an uncomfortable sensation as if being shocked, and remarked to myself that this was quite unusual!!! However, undaunted, and fully aware that I could not really be hurt, I insisted now I was going to get outdoors!

I push through the door, finding it ‘heavy’ and thick, flexing and bowing out as I pushed. It was as if I was not supposed to leave, but my determination was such that with an emotional ‘to the outdoors!’ I found myself on the front stoop.

I take off flying once again, to the top of the pine trees near me and put out my hand to feel the needles. It was here that I somehow transitioned to another place, not really sure how I got there.

I’m standing next to two men with desks, with a feeling this is their ‘place of work’. I’m talking and laughing with them, having a great time.

Turning around, I can see in front of their desks that the floor just stops about 8 foot away, and it drops off (like a cliff) into the most beautiful vista below!! It was almost like looking down off a cloud or some sort of ‘flat surface’ cliff! I saw an entire ‘world’ below…lights, clouds, cities, trees, forests, all at once.

Standing at the edge, I exclaim, ‘you’ve got the best job in the world! Look at this view!’ and the guy is laughing at my joy in loving where he ‘worked’. I said, ‘you could just fly to anywhere you want to at any time!’

With that statement, I jumped fearlessly into the open air below! I was thrilled with my soaring and flying and remember thinking how MUCH I missed doing this!

The last part of this experience was more ‘dream-like’ but I’ll describe it as it was part of this same sequence.

I find myself in a small area, like a personal living space, trying to hide from the man who lives/works there. I feel he is an older uniformed man, much like an officer or fireman. I am near his bed and shelf area where he puts his personal belongings.

Initially, I was afraid he could see me, but realized I could not be seen when he left the room. I investigated what he had on his shelf, and was moving the stuff around to see all that was there.

He returns to the room and I watch as he comes to the shelf area and I can hear his thoughts. He’s thinking that someone must have come into his room and moved the items on the shelf, yet he knew that he only left a moment ago and no one came in!

He’s wondering if he’s ‘going nuts’ in seeing this stuff moved, and worried that it might be some medication he was just started on by his doctor causing him to ‘see things’. Shrugging it off, he says, ‘oh well, as long as I stay ‘ok’ for this (house burn/demolition) coming up’ and continued on about his business.

I have no recollection of what happened after that, because at this point I knew I had to start ‘imprinting’ the highlights in my memory as I was returning. Using key words as I always do, I tried to ingrain my subconscious with the simple words that will allow me to recall enough to record, which I did as soon as I fully awakened.

171) Party Time! Meeting Many; Being a Writer

2012_03_18

I had a series of dream like memories prior to getting out of body which I will mention here just in case someone has some clue if it fits. I was riding in a child’s wagon that was being pulled by a small motorcycle, but really appeared to be a glorified child’s motorized bike.

A family member (whom I have had to do a lot of forgiveness to in my life to overcome some major blockages) was driving the cycle, however, I was concerned for two reasons. We were driving down a major highway near me, and his abilities to function were declining (I felt he was slurring his words and such).

So I took over the controls and was still a bit apprehensive about driving this very small motorbike down a major highway! I am wondering if this can even make it, not knowing where I am driving to nor how to get there!

At one point when I was stopped to eat something, I talked to a man who appeared and told him of my concern that this small bike was not going to make it to the destination on such a major highway. He told me to not worry, that it had ‘a lot of power’ to it and would do just fine!

Now, my next thoughts were that I was ready to roll out of body! It was an easy exit, but upon standing by the bed, I felt a bit disoriented and need to put myself right side up! Vision was dim, and I was able to improve it by affirming ‘vision now!’ (I see I change the wording of these affirmations without really knowing why!)

As I left my bedroom and turned the corner, I was startled when a group of three women and a few young people started talking to me, saying ‘hey, look who’s here!’ with such exuberance and joy that I had to take a moment to compose myself, wondering just who are these people and what are they doing in my house!?!? Lol

I was immediately caught up in their happiness in seeing me, and knowing I was out of body, wanted to get their names so I could remember them upon waking! Each gave me their names, and I tried desperately to ‘imprint’ it, but the only name I remember is ‘Charlotte Daly’ (Daily?) The rest of the names were lost with the huge amount of information that was being taken in as they told me all about themselves.

In the background I could see another woman, a quiet one as I felt she didn’t speak English well. She had shorter, curly, light colored hair and I was told, ‘She’s with (my daughter-in-law’s name). (I will have to speak with my son’s wife to see if she knows of her)

Looking around, I realized I was within a huge room, full of young people of all types and it felt to be as if a party was going on! Everyone so happy and talkative and I was gathering so much information to remember, I just couldn’t imprint it all!

At one point, I remember a group of young people asking, ‘What is the name of this place?’ and can remember thinking to myself the word ‘Afterlife’. A few of them told me what name they felt it to be but my answer to them was something to the effect that ‘Why does it have to have a name for it?’ explaining that there are SO many names for this place, yet it really didn’t matter what you called it. What was important was that everyone was having such a grand time there!

Another woman at the party wore a dressing on her neck, and it reminded me of a dressing we’d use for a tracheostomy. I thought perhaps she had had one prior to passing for a long time and that’s why it was still necessary as part of her look.

In another part of the room, I was now sitting on the couch having a ton of fun and laughs, and all at once a young boy falls into my lap, not moving!! It’s like he ‘flops down dead’, as if trying to ‘freak me out’ and it doesn’t work as I just laugh with the rest of them saying, “Ooops, looks like we have another dead one!” (Gosh, I do hope no one takes offense to this but it’s what happened!)

Another part of the party I was speaking to a woman and asked her, “Why are all the people here so young?” as I had the sense they were all under age 40 and some much younger. She said something like, “Well, we didn’t want to scare you with how we really appeared” and I immediately understood and said, ‘oh yes! Of course! You take on the best appearance for all concerned!” and with that, she glowed with pleasure claiming to everyone, “Ooo, we have a smart one here! She has her stuff all together!” and walked off to tell others about me.

Now, the most interesting part of this experience is when I was speaking with this woman who asked to see my hand. Looking at my palm, she said, ‘let me see if you are a healer’ and said there is ‘some’ there, but then she took my first finger (right hand), put the nailbed directly against her eye and proclaimed excitedly, “Oooooh! You’re a writer!!!”

I was thrilled to hear this, and thanked her, explaining this was such a validation I needed to hear. Another woman comes running up and asks, “Show me how you did that! I want to see!” and the first woman explains something about having to look at the tagus (?) tangus (?) part of the finger, and putting it directly up to your eye to see!

The first woman explained it’s better to be a writer for me, at least I didn’t have to ‘bend’ or ‘bend over’ (?) being a healer…..

So, that’s what I have for this experience….the entire feel for this one was of fun, laughter, and learning! I think I’ll just have to invite more people more often into my life!

170) Diffusing Emotions; Family Concerns

March 1, 2012

My first recollection for this experience was the fact that there were two people holding my hands, one on each side of the bed I was lying in, trying to get my attention. This brought me to full ‘awareness’ in realizing that I was likely transitioning into the astral vibration.

I saw a man and a woman, both appeared Hispanic, with the woman on my left, and the male on my right. I asked, ‘who’s there?’ to the woman told me her name (Gabrique? Gabrie…?) We started to talk, and the conversation was polite and friendly at first, and I recall asking them where they met (as I could tell they were together as a couple), and they told me all about how they met in a pizza shop, with him as the pizza maker.

During the conversation at one point (which I totally forgot any further details), the woman leaned down to whisper in my left ear something about being fearful and/or anxious with the male. I because aware of an uneasy tension that developed in the room and the atmosphere changed dramatically.

Now the male seemed to become angry, and bent down to talk in my right ear, telling me ‘negative’ things about her. I was taken aback at the change of energy into angry emotions and I knew I had to diffuse the situation quickly.

I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I do remember that initially I felt I did NOT do the right thing and realized the futility of it. I found myself yelling back at them, getting caught up in their emotional energy and sending my OWN emotions back at them (this is hard to describe as I felt I was actually showing/doing/feeling these emotions more than speaking them).

I realized this was not working, and so knew I had to ‘send love’ and tell them how much they WERE loved, that they are loving beings and a good person despite what they had been through in life. I felt they needed to know that they were loved…so I said, “I love you”…”you are loved”….”you are good people’….

This seemed to change their ‘energy’ immediately, and they became very light and happy again, happy and content with each other. They were able to work out their issues immediately and I even told them, “I bet you’ll be able to find other people now!”, meaning there would be other family and friends now available to meet. They both were so excited to think they’d be able to do that! I asked the male again what his name was and I think he responded, “Henry” or “Enrique”? I could still feel their joy they moved hand in hand out of the room, light, happy and joyous!

The scene changed, I got the words “Jean Hutchinson” and the fact that her husband is ‘here’ now, having crossed over and was happy, and that they too had met in a pizza shop…or that they worked there…. ??

Then while still ‘in my bed’, I saw my father walk into the room, and immediately became very concerned, thinking, “what are you doing here? oh no! please tell me I’m fully awake and that you haven’t crossed over!” (MY dad is still alive but not doing as well as he used to, so maybe this was a concern of mine manifesting?) My dad tells me that he was driving the lawnmower (as he does in real life here) and crossed the driveway and ran into something that caused an explosion that caused him to cross over!

I then see my brother enter the room as well, carrying a baby carrier with an infant, and he says,” yeah, and I was there too” meaning he was caught up in the explosion and crossed over as well. I was rather upset, concerned this was ‘real’, so I said “no, I’m awake, this is not real….I must be awake and not talking to spirits”….which of course I really wasn’t awake.

I realized now that I had to write up the first experience quickly so I didn’t forget. I didn’t remember my recorder as I usually do, but scrambled to find some paper to write on. Then I had to find a pen, which didn’t work, and finally just grabbed some paper out of a nearby computer to write it on.

It was at that point I heard an alarm go off, waking me to full wakefulness and realizing that I had not written anything, and that the memories of everything that just happened were fading fast!

I’m not sure what all this means, but I writing it anyway…if anyone gets any insight from it, I’d be happy to hear! It’s interesting that I now it seems the spirits are coming to me, and this time even ‘waking’ me to help them! It seems I haven’t been able to get out of my bedroom for some astral traveling for a few experiences now!!

169) Emotionally Intense OBE; Helping a Child

February 20, 2012

I woke as I sometimes do about 3 am and had difficulty falling back asleep. Figuring it was a good time to try for another OBE, I affirmed my intention to help others if I could as I always like to do.

Just as I was falling back to sleep, in that in-between state of asleep and awake, I thought I heard someone calling ‘mom’ or ‘ma’..…a little voice crying out, and when I heard it again, I said “I’m here!” with my thoughts. What I did feel was that this was NOT my child, but one that needed someone.

I then came into awareness of being in my bed in my bedroom, and sensing the movement of an intense energy in the form of a small child coming into my bedroom from the doorway.

My heart was pounding, trying to stay calm, as I could feel something different about this energy and somehow knew it was going to be a ‘difficult’ experience for me.

I realized it was a small child, a boy about age 3 or 4, very upset, crying and very much in turmoil. He moved to the empty side of my bed and climbed up next to me.

Immediately I ‘felt’ and saw his life, the abuse, the sadness, the extreme depth of emotion he had as he sobbed uncontrollably next to me.

I had him lie on the pillow, on his belly and his face was away from me so I could not see his appearance. He was small in frame, and all I could do was pat his back and rub him gently, trying to sooth his sobs. I remember doing this for what I felt to be a long time.

I reached for his head, to rub his hair and stroke his cheek after he was quiet for a bit. He turned over to face me, and curled up tightly against my shoulder and neck, cuddling me, and with a tiny bit of a sob to his voice, asks, “Am I home now?”

I was so emotionally overwhelmed with the unexpected question that I didn’t know what to do. I think my emotions did not allow me to continue on energetically effectively, as I was desperate to help. I remember actually speaking out loud, ‘do you see anyone?’ trying to get him to see those who I knew were there for him.

With the audible words, I was immediately awake…and alone. I have no idea if I was of any help, but am so hoping that just the idea that I was able to get him to stop running and crying and to settle down, enabled him to move on to where he needed to go.

This was so emotionally draining for me. I woke crying with emotional release at his depth of sadness and the turmoil that he experienced in his short life. I desperately hope he’s in a better place now…

ADDENDUM: Through a discussion with other members of the Astral Projectors group on Facebook (which anyone is welcome to join, just ask!), it seems that this experience may have been much more than 'just' a retrieval as I originally thought.

It seems that a psychic friend felt that there was a 'Carrie' great grandmother who helped this child to 'move on'....and it just so happens that THIS is the name of MY grandmother, the one whom I just saw during the OBE two weeks ago!! (click here for post) AND....that SAME day I had this experience, my son informs me that he and his wife are expecting a new child this summer!!

I almost now feel that perhaps this could be another premonition of my grandchild to be...similar to the one I had before my FIRST grandchild!! (click here for post) ...including the comment!) Since I'll not know for sure until it happens, if this newest grandchild is a boy....then I'll be almost certain this was the case!

168) Wine Effects, Sending Energy Attempt

I have to start this experience with some background so as you can understand maybe why things happened as they did.

I had not expected to get OOB this morning, so had no focus or intention set as to what exactly I would do if I did. That is a key point in maintaining a degree of control when you start your induction, although I have to add, that I also had had a few glasses of wine prior to bed and think that my ‘consciousness’ was also not fully ‘awake’ to maintain the control either!! Lol

I remember waking about 4am and needing something to drink, having already dreamed I had downed an entire bottle with gusto! Lol I felt awake enough to think about possibly attempting to get OOB, but knew that many times alcohol impacts your ability to do so, so didn’t focus too much on trying.

Getting back to sleep, I remember starting to feel a ‘swaying’ motion…actually thinking, ‘oh dear! I did have too much to drink’!! lol But then knew that this rocking motion could easily be amplified and turned into an OBE, so worked on doing that.

I felt my upper torso swaying back and forth, and then focused on moving even a hand or foot astrally. It was enough that I soon became aware of BOTH my legs being held straight upright off the bed!!! At first I wasn’t sure I was even asleep, that maybe I really HAD raised my legs this high!

Knowing this wasn’t likely, I just assumed it was my astral body, and tried to roll out. It was a bit difficult to separate, but eventually I did find myself standing in my bedroom facing to door to leave. Realizing I was out, I was thrilled, and found myself starting to float up and through the bedroom ceiling.

However, just before exiting the room, I remembered what Jaime in the Astral Projectors group on Facebook did once. He was able to send him own sleeping body healing energy while he was out, and I wanted to do that too!

I turned around and easily saw my body lying on the bed under the covers. For some reason, my face was covered or not clearly visible. (Again, as you may know from previous posts, I believe it is my own preference NOT to see my face as it is possible my ‘mind’ may not be able to process the actual fact that I am in two places at once without return to body).

I move closer to the bed, with the intention of sending energy to my body, but was shocked to feel that the closer I got to my body on the bed, the less ability I had to ‘see’ it clearly, as it appeared to emit some sort of wavy distorted energy or vibrations that did not feel good.

I knew enough to not press this attempt, as you know with any type of ‘negative’ response you are likely to return to body, so I turned back around and continued to float up and out of the bedroom ceiling.

Now, I was not in control of where I was going, whether lack of intent or too much wine, but I found myself outside the house in the dark above my front yard. I could see a ray of light with what looked like rain coming down in the lit area, and moved closer to see what it was.

Entering the light, I could see it was a ‘spotlight’ of sorts off to the side of the yard, and I could feel the ‘tingles’ of what I thought was rain. (In real life, it was not raining at that time, so I have no idea what it was)

Flying through the trees that line my property, I hear children walking along the road behind my house and moved to go see what was going on with them. I thought, because it was early morning, that perhaps they were on their way to the school bus stop. I thought it was sad that they had to walk to the bus stop in such darkness.

It was at that time I was totally taken into a lucid dream that I have very little recall of once awake. In hindsight, I do think that perhaps my ‘woozy’ body was emitting those peculiar energy waves due to its destabilized state, and the lack of control and my memories of the LD were also affected.

However, I am happy that at least I remembered to try to send energy to my body when out, so that means maybe next time with an improved physical body and mind, I’ll succeed!

167) Sleep Timer Use; Meeting my Grandmother

January 26, 2012

I thought I'd share a quick experience this morning, one that I wasn’t going to post, until my friends at the Astral Projectors group in Facebook said I should! So here goes…

Since I didn't have to get up early today, I was trying a different technique for lucid dreaming, one where you set a timer to go off at intervals to help with awareness (great site: http://www.lucidology.com/blog/91/lucid-dream-timer-method/)

During the night I can remember having LOTs of dreams which was an improvement already, but one in particular was quite memorable. I was helping someone with 'negative spirits' that were bothering him, and was showing him how you just needed to have no fear when they started 'taking control'.

I don't have specific details, but remember myself having that slight tinge of fear when one would come, but then emphatically stating, 'stop!' or 'release now' to get them to comply. One 'spirit' that was insistent took my astral arm and was shaking it violently which concerned me, but again, I somehow got the courage to say "stop!" and send love which dissipated it.

As I moved in my bedroom toward my body, I looked up to see my grandmother (who passed many years ago) enter the room! I was astonished, as I've not seen any family members ever in spirit. Actually, she looked so different than she did (much younger look and I never recall her looking like that) but somehow I knew it was her. We were sitting together and my only memory was excitedly telling her all about what I was doing and how I had "figured out how the nervous system worked"! (?)

It was a very short talk and I was pulled back quickly to body (as I think I was so close to my 'self' in bed) but ultimately was thrilled to awaken and know I met with her! My first time meeting someone in my family that has passed on!