137) Impulsiveness While OOB

2011_01_23 137) Impulsiveness While OOB

This OBE was a first for me, in the sense that I was SO obviously being told I was not to leave my ‘physical’ location, yet ignored such an obvious sign to stay! I am so ingrained that it is necessary to move away from my body, that I just left through another doorway!

I realize I am rather impulsive like this, doing what I want to do, rather than taking advantage of what I’m being shown and using it as intended. (This is a frequent happening with me, as you can see from another post on my blog - click here to read it )

With this experience, I remember a very strong ‘sleep paralysis’ sensation and my mind remaining very much aware. I somehow knew I was going to be able to get out of body with this attempt.

My first recollection after the drop into sleep after paralysis, was rolling out of body and moving directly to my front door with my usual exit blindness, as I have done so many times before. However, this time, as I gained speed to move through the door, I was astonished when I “hit” the door with a splat!!

I felt the wooden solidness of the door, even the different panes of glass, and a firm sense of being ‘blocked’! I could barely see, but in ‘feeling’ around the doorway, I felt two strong ‘metal’ bars forming an X across the door! It was an obvious indication that I was NOT to go through this exit!

Without thinking twice, I knew I could try for the side door of my house, as I have used that many times before. (In hindsight, I truly feel this was an attempt to get me to stay in the local area, yet I remember being determined to get outside.)

As I glided to the side door, I felt just a bit apprehensive knowing that my exit could be blocked again, however, I breezed through the door as usual, feeling the subtle change in texture as I passed.

Relieved that I was once again out, I stood on my porch and looked at my front lawn, beautifully illuminated with the full moon. Looking at the moon, I had the clear thought that I wanted to go visit an astronomer friend of mine and did a little jump to start my travel.

However, instead of flying or feeling the usual ‘black tunnel’, I felt I was more drifting and floating gently in another direction. At this point, I stated ‘to my Higher Self’, thinking that if I didn’t make a destination, I’d end up back in body. (I always feel I must be in control when I’m so lucid, instead of allowing things to happen…and that might not be the best for me!) I even remember asking to go to someplace where I could learn my lessons and advance my development.

Unfortunately, here is where I have extremely limited recall. There is this ‘space’ that I know I was interacting and doing something, as the barest memories of ‘pushing through’ to different scenes remain, once being a ‘smoky’ veil that wasn’t sure I wanted to go through. I recall firmly stating, “clarity now” at least three times, and being amazed at how clear my vision was! There were amazing colors…but no other recall.

The next recollection was floating once again, relaxing on a cushion as if ‘unwinding’ after a workout, outside and looking up at the most spectacular night sky I have ever seen! I knew it was not ‘our’ night sky, as the stars were so much more intense and indescribable! There were zillions of them, and how they filled the sky and sparkled was simply amazing!

Floating gently up a hill, I saw a house that vaguely looked familiar, but did not enter it. Looking below me, as I was floating about 10 feet off the ground, I could see my new little kitten following me! She was trying to jump up to join me, over and over…and after a short time, she jumped high enough and made it!

I could feel the tug as she clawed her way onto the cushion and climbed into my lap. The sensation and physical ‘feeling’ of her close to me was as real as waking life, which made me think, ‘Uh oh, my cat HAS really climbed onto my sleeping physical body and is waking me’!!

Knowing I had just had an amazing experience, I decided I’d go back to body before the kitten jolted me awake and made my lose my recall. Pulling back, my first realization was that my cat (in reality) was nowhere near me! I was astonished to be alone on the couch!

I pulled out my recorder, turned it on, and immediately realized I was in another false awakening! The digital display on the recorder did not look familiar at all, despite my sense of ‘being awake’. Knowing this has happened so many times before, I attempted to ‘pull back’ again, and wake further.

This time, I feel myself once again pulling out the recorder and starting to record. I described everything I did, and then, in the middle of my recording, realized that something was ‘not right’. Knowing this was likely another ‘false awakening’ I remembered from a recent forum post that maybe I should try what another OBEr had done, and go back into the experience from this false awakening.

However, knowing that my memories were fading fast, I decided to ‘pull back’ one more time to get myself NOW fully awake. Due to this delay in recording, and so many false awakening at the end, I was now at a complete loss for what happened in the middle of my experience!

In reviewing this experience, I realize that I may have not taken advantage of what was being shown to me, once again due to my impulsiveness. To emphasize this point, when I was reviewing my blog this morning after waking, I was drawn to my post (listed above) and re-read it. I thought it was quite synchronous how I was guided to read this particular blog post from my past so soon after waking.