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Monday, August 25, 2008

70) Increased Awareness in Exit; Astral Vision

I had a series of OOBEs last night that was very unusual in the sense that I really did not ‘accomplish’ any specific task (– my only intention was to go ‘inward now!’ if I had the chance) nor had any significant event happen while OOB as far as I can recall. However, I believe this new awareness level I was experiencing was more in answer to my recent inquiry as to how different aspects of OOB experiences can differ in their ‘feel’ and the way they impact on my consciousness.

My initial exit happened quickly as I have no recall of the signaling event. I remember getting out, and feeling VERY heavy, pulling very hard to separate, and trying to move across the wooden floor to the door. I remember it was unusual that I could actually ‘hear’ my footsteps on the floor as I ‘walked’, and recall bending down to feel the floor, as if I thought it was different somehow because I could ‘hear’ my steps.

I moved to the door, but it was not a door that I am familiar with in my house. It had a large glass window at the top, but did not show me what was beyond it. I remember thinking; ‘it’s a door, so I can just float through it’, which I did without difficulty, feeling the texture change as I did.

However, once on the other side, I felt as though I had moved into another ‘dimension’ or altered space. I found myself standing on the other side of the door, looking back at the closed door. I felt as if I was in a black void, with a very ‘different’ feel to it than I have experienced before. I was not comfortable, and remember placing my hands on the heavy door, feeling how ‘solid’ it was, indicating to me that I was not able to pass back through it the way I had come out!

At this time, a little bit of fear crept in, more fear than I’d like to have had, but then realized, ‘Hey wait! It’s a door! I can just open it!’ which I did. But as I opened the door and peeked inside, I saw only a dark, dank, cold stone room…very uninviting! I said, ‘no, I don’t think I’ll go there!’ and closed the door, at which time I woke up. What I recorded was that I felt like I was “exploring” instead of remembering to do the ‘inward now’ as I intended.

My second exit was strange in that I realized I felt very light in my awareness and that my ‘mind’ had gone someplace else in another room. This made me think about bilocation and what it would feel like, a topic I had just recently discussed with someone the evening prior.

Despite feeling so ‘light’ in my awareness (not a deep meditative state as usual), I knew I could still roll out, which I did, with the intention of trying to feel what it is like to be in both places at once, both IN body and OUT of body. (This is hard to describe, but I could feel my physical body and conscious mind as if awake, yet knew I was ‘floating’ enough to get out)

Once out, I found it again VERY difficult to move, pulling and tugging so hard to get away from my physical body. I even propped my ‘foot’ against the couch to prevent my giving in to the tugging back to body! I remember thinking that using ‘inward now!’ would not work at this time since I was not fully separate, so I focused on affirming ‘to the door!’ over and over to get some movement away from the physical body.

Suddenly, I felt an unusual new sensation – a ripping or tearing feeling in the back of my head and neck area. I was not alarmed, but felt it was a warning of some kind.

Despite achieving some movement once OOB, I never did make it to the door – being pulled back in body with the ‘knowing’ that I had too much awareness that stopped my progress (caused by my desire to feel ‘both’ places at once as in bilocation).

The third exit I had this night was the most interesting and educational for me. Despite losing a lot of details with a prolonged false awakening at the end (described below), I know I was being shown much information that I may be using in the future.

I had the usual signal I was ready to exit when I found my feet floating up in the air, but again feeling that very light state of awareness instead of a deeper mindset. I could remember that I had had difficulty getting out previously with this light state, so when I discovered that there were ‘physical hands’ touching my feet and moving them about, I said “I need some help in getting out!”

There was a warm sensation of hands (palms pressed against the soles of my feet) already on, and after asking for help, a second pair of hands were felt on my instep areas. (It has been a long time since I felt these ‘otherwordly’ hands assisting me, but I knew they were there to help)

I moved out of body easily with their assistance, and remember conversing with a female at length as to why I having such difficulty tonight. The only response I recall was her mention of ‘learning different levels’ and ‘I can only do it at my level’, or something to that effect. I remember thinking I’d like to ask her name, but since she didn’t offer one, I didn’t push for an answer. I know there so was so much more to this conversation that I just cannot recall.

At some point, I found myself back on the couch, again with my feet in the air and the same warm hands on the bottom of my feet. Wanting to get out, I remember a second pair of hands now reaching for my hands and pulling me up and out – and most interesting was that these hands were small, as if a child or very small female.

I was led blindly to the door and outside by two females, and remember asking ‘why is it always so dark?’ as I could see nothing but blackness. Their answer was ‘yes, we can see that’ and my vision then opened up.

Once outside, I said I wanted to fly again, as it has been a long time since I experienced that wonderful sensation. I flew up to the tree tops and remember even touching a leaf to experience the sensation. I recall hearing distant thunder, and felt raindrops hit my ‘body’, which made me remember that there was a forecast for rain this day and that I’d have to check when I woke up to see if it was really raining.

At some point, one female said she wanted to show me something and took me over to an area next to a wooden fence and under a large tree. She was showing me an earthen mound, with rocks (?) stacked together on top, yet I don’t really think this is what it actually was. At the time, I knew what it was, but in trying to recall what it looked like, this is the best association I could make. It had this ‘altar’, ‘memorial’, or ‘grave’ type feeling to it.

She was telling me something like “it needs to be done like this” and “I need to show you the first time and then you will have to show me you can do it on your own before we can move on. That’s how it works.” At the time I understood fully, but in recall, I have no idea what we were talking about. Again, there was SO much more I was shown but have completely forgotten, mainly due to the subsequent false awakening experience.

Upon realizing I am back on the couch, I take out my recorder, and stop as I hear someone come in the front door. They walk past me to the bedroom, and then I hear my husband once again, walking downstairs to see where I am.

I am never sure if these false awakenings are real, so I always ‘play along’ to see what happens. My husband just stood quietly at the base of the stairs, near the couch, and I remember watching him, supposedly with my eyes wide open, to see what he was going to do.

I had the feeling he was debating whether to wake me or not, and I began to think, maybe I should ask if there is anyone else around (as I did in my previous experience). I believe I asked ‘is anyone there’ and got no response. Now I’m beginning to worry that much of the previous OOBE is being lost with this delay in recording, so I attempt to find my recorder again.

Not realizing I was not fully awake, I am talking into the recorder trying to recall the earlier events. It took even more time for me to arouse completely, realizing I didn’t even have the recorder in my hands when I fully awoke! It took so long for me to get completely awake, waiting and waiting for the false awakening to end, that it made me lose much of the earlier OOB experience with the females. (In hindsight, I am thinking perhaps this prolonged false awakening was intentional so that I would consciously forget much that I learned OOB.)

What was different for each of these OOB exits was that I was so much more aware of my physical body when I had the ‘floating’ signal to exit. There was more ‘consciousness’ in the experience, as I felt so much lighter and more ‘awake’ than usual upon exiting.

One last late morning experience I had was more of a lucid dream that converted into what I feel was ‘astral vision’. With astral vision, you are definitely aware you are in bed, yet clearly seeing and experiencing what you are viewing with your eyes.

Initially it started as a mundane dream, with plans to go out with my sister. She was ready to go, and I was delayed in getting ready. Saying she’d wait for me downstairs, I went to my room where I found her phone ringing (she had left it behind). It was a woman named ‘Gurda’ and upon explaining who I was, she said she’d call back later.

The scene transitioned somehow to being outdoors, lying down in the grass, and watching the clouds go by. Someone said, ‘Look! Do you see that?’ pointing to the sky. I attempted to see what they were looking at, seeing only clouds and a small wisp of smoke (?) in the distance.

Immediately, I felt awake, knowing I was still in my bed, yet continuing to see the sky and clouds above! From the center of the ‘viewing area’, I know watched as a 3D parade of various military items moved from left to right. There were soldiers, then tanks, planes, even space shuttles moving very clearly across my viewing aperture.

Still knowing I was in bed, I enjoyed this ability to do two things at once, even feeling my head turn to the right to watch as a parachutist landed, bounced back up, then landed again. (In actuality, I do not believe I really turned my head, but it sure felt like I did!) I was still able to hear those I was with ask what I was looking at, but knowing they could not see this and concerned that by answering I’d lose the experience, chose to ignore their questions.

The opening faded, and I became fully awake and aware. I have no idea why I saw military-related items in this viewing, but am glad to have had these rare experience of astral vision, flying, and 'helping hands' once again.

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