Blog Archive

Saturday, March 29, 2008

51) Another Missed Opportunity with False Awakening

3/29/08

This morning I had the luxury of staying in bed for a while after awakening which is a rarity these days with my life schedule as it is.

The sun was already up and I put on my dark eye cover and relaxed back into a comfortable position, with the intent of going OOB. I even planned that WHEN I got out this time (setting of intent), I would exit the sliding door of the bedroom since I was not in my usual location (on the couch at night). I also asked that I be able to remember all and that if there was any help I could offer while OOB that I be shown what to do. I even placed my recorder in a different spot near the bed to be able to access it quicker and easier after awakening.

Well, as usual, ask and ‘ye shall receive’! Unfortunately, though, I feel I missed my opportunity to help, yet I try not to be too concerned as I feel I am still learning this strange new way of having a false awakening during which I meet others needing help.

I remember it took quite a while of visualization, including white light surrounding me, energy activations, and then taking my mind on a ‘virtual walk’ through a forest with a babbling stream environment that I love to do. I then became aware of the vibrations at some point, and was again happy to know I was about to get out.

However, this time, I also remember ‘playing’ with the vibrations for a bit, seeing what I could do with them. I am not sure what I was trying to do, but at one point I remember thinking, ‘oh well, that’s enough – time to get out!’

I was on my side, so I rolled over to my back and off the bed. Blind again as usual, I just dismissed it as routine and moved to the sliding door. Now, I also was so aware of my ‘physical’ shape, that I had the faintest thought that I could possibly NOT be OOB, just physically out of bed! I remember actually being able to touch and feel the walls and sliding door, and was for the faintest moment, concerned I would not be able to pass through such a ‘solid’ object.

However, due to my experiences previously, I also simultaneously KNEW that I WAS OOB, so my hand and body felt the ‘solidness’ but then felt it pass right through to the outside porch area. (I wanted to point this out as I feel it is a strong reminder that it is what you THINK things are, is what your mind will give you when OOB!)

I could ‘feel’ the brightness of the sun once outside and also remembered that my dog Buddy was sleeping on the porch furniture nearby. I thought, ‘gee, I guess this time he’s not aware of my presence because he’s awake’ as he made no attempt to move. (After fully awake I saw that Buddy was indeed on the porch furniture!)

At this point again, I wondered what to do! Since I now KNEW I was definitely OOB, I figured I’d jump off this second story porch and just take off! Funny thing, though, to get into position to jump, I distinctly remember having to ‘physically’ climb onto the porch railing!

I jumped, feeling the downward fall (surprisingly!) yet not concerned in the least. Coming within a few inches of the pavement, I said I have to do something constructive, so I affirmed ‘Inward now!’

I immediately started pulling back away from the house, watching it grow smaller and smaller, as I initially thought I’d pull back far enough to see the entire earth again. However, blackness enveloped me and I have only a foggy recall that something occurred at that point as a transition of sorts.

Now, I’m aware I’m back on my bed, slowly becoming aware. (Again, a false awakening starting here, but it was different in that I still felt this ‘altered mind state’ yet figured I had to be ‘waking’ since I was in my bed)

Now I could hear lots of noise and activity coming from a room just off the bedroom that sounded like my family members once again waking me up. This time, though, I know I heard other voices that vaguely sounded familiar, yet I couldn’t figure out who they could be. Realizing one was my sister I haven’t seen in a while, I just dismissed it as her coming to visit bringing others that I have not seen in a while as well.

So I roll over to where I had placed my recorder, and was surprised to find that not only was my recorder there, but there was a small radio and a TV remote there as well! I wondered who could have placed them there, and was a bit annoyed that it was taking me longer to get the recording going having to sort through all that was there. (Again, my focus at this time is always the fact that I have to record as quickly as possible as my recall of an OOBE is so fleeting)

Finding the recorder, I lie back on the bed sideways (unusual for me to do) and start recording the events of playing with the vibrations and getting OOB to the porch. Looking to my left, I see a room off the bedroom (that is not actually there!) where I know everyone is gathered, making the noise that woke me.

I see a young girl age 5-6 that is vaguely familiar. I know I have seen/met her before, and remember her as a very, very timid young girl. She’s wearing this ‘party’ wig of bright pink hair, yet I know her real hair color is blond. Her thin face and body is just as I ‘remembered’ it from before. She is sitting in this large straight-back chair, shaking her head ‘no’ in very small movements as if to tell me, ‘no, don’t come here to see me, don’t do anything’. I know she is easily frightened and timid, so I feel that continuing with my recording would be better than taking the chance of scaring her more.

It is at that time that I become fully aware I am really waking up and that this was all a false awakening again! I try very hard to relax back into that ‘altered mind state’ to reach the little girl, but to no avail. So I reached for the recorder and felt so ‘déjà vu’ when I starting recording the words that I know I already recorded in the false awakening!

Again, I feel I missed an opportunity to help someone, yet I also think I’m learning slowly how to ‘use’ this false awakening state of mind to perceive and interact with others who are receptive to my presence. Hopefully, with time and experience, I’ll figure out how to become more aware of the false awakening experience as it starts, not ends!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

50) Two part OBE - Hotel room and retrieval

3/15/08

This occurred while I am on a short vacation in Myrtle Beach, SC. My first recollection was that I was in full vibrations, and can remember having them for a while prior to exiting. I believe this gave me the awareness that I was about to get out, but it took so much longer than usual to separate.

Finally I rolled over to my right and stood up, remembering I was in an unfamiliar room (hotel) and had to be sure that I really was OOB because it felt so ‘real’! I felt the ‘heaviness’ and saw a dim outline of the furniture in the room. It was very dark, but I was not totally blind as usual, and the hotel room appeared identical to IP (in physical), so I knew I was ‘out’.

Since it appeared to be my hotel room, I knew where the outside door was and headed for it. As I exited the hotel door, I saw it was no longer the hotel, but an older style house with a ‘many roomed mansion’ feeling to it (and yet I thought nothing of this change in scenery!)

I went out to the balcony railing (as is IP), but started jumping up onto the different gabled roofs of the mansion! My vision would dim at times, so I said ‘clarity now!’ (I recall I said it ‘out loud’ instead of thinking it!) It never became perfectly clear but it was enough to ‘see’ what I was doing.

After jumping around the roofs a bit, I flew to the trees, ‘physically’ feeling the branches and leaves, just to be sure I really was able to! I stayed exploring in the immediate area, then jumped to the ground and enjoyed just lying on the ground feeling the earth beneath me.

At that point, I stood up, thinking I had to do something constructive while OOB. I remembered I wanted to visit a friend, gave a little ‘hop’ to start the travel, and was disappointed to fall right back down. Somehow, I knew I was not going to be able to go at that time.

I quickly found myself back in bed in my hotel room, thinking I had awakened from the OOBE. Picking up my recorder from the bedside, I was dismayed to find the battery dead. I get up (not realizing I was still OOB!) looking for a spare battery I knew I brought in my suitcase. The suitcase was on other bed in the hotel room, just like IP. I even remember using the flashlight I keep at my bedside to look in my suitcase, same as IP!

I heard someone out in the hallway, thinking my bedroom door must be open. It sounded like a vacuum cleaner running or possibly a shower? I didn’t even think it was unusual because I knew I was a guest staying in someone’s house (who was very rich), so of course he would have servants who would be working overnight doing work to get things ready. I was not alarmed at all for some reason to have them here in my ‘hotel’ room!

An older heavyset black woman comes in (had a ‘servant’ feel to her), yet she was wrapped in towel like she just got out of a shower! Strangely, I think nothing of this! She calls me by name, asking, ”what’s the matter?” and I say, “I’m just fine, just looking for something I need”, never telling her it was a battery I was looking for.

She was partially clothed, yet wrapped in a towel, and was soaking wet, dripping water on my floor! I politely was trying to get her to leave, and said to her, “Look at you! You are dripping wet!” (I was slightly annoyed at the water dripping on the floor and the fact that I needed her to leave so I could get the battery into the recorder quickly as I was afraid I’d forget my OOBE just previous to this!)

She said “Oh dear! Ok….” and reached over to the TV cabinet (that is really there IP in the hotel room) and handed me a (wrong size-AA) battery for my recorder. I already had my own out by then, but was surprised she knew what I needed because I never did tell her directly what I was looking for!

As she left, going back out to the hallway, she was talking to someone saying, “Did you call the doctor yet?” and I had the feeling that a baby was sick so the doctor needed to be called. I went back to bed to record my OOBE but then woke up completely, realizing it was a false awakening!

(Interesting to note here that my son had called me earlier that night to let me know that he was taking my new granddaughter to the doctors as she was very sick!)

I also think the fact that I had the OOBE with the change from a hotel room to a rich person’s multi-roomed mansion was necessary for me to maintain calmness and ‘rationale’ thinking when I had the false awakening and discovered that there were other people in my area that I would be interacting with.

Could this perhaps have been a housekeeper that used to work here in the hotel? She had more of a ’modern feeling’ to her, and the room looked identical to my actual hotel room, but yet when I was OOB outside it was a mansion with a late 18th-early 19th century feel to it.

This was the first false awakening that actually had someone else besides my family in it. I believe it could be that the previous ones with family may have taught me how to remain in this consciousness level just a bit longer before fully awakening. Is it possibly a way of keeping me in a lower astral level just a bit longer so that I can interact with those who are ‘living’ in this near physical realm? That’s what I’m getting a feeling it could be for.

Another interesting point is that almost every false awakening lately (at least the last three or four), has involved my recorder malfunctioning in some way. This may be a key factor that I should keep in mind to make me become aware that I am in this near physical state of consciousness and perhaps be able to stay in this level longer in order to interact with others here, like the older black woman.

Going back to bed, there was a part two of this night - another OOBE, but not in the near physical as this one was. I believe it may have involved some sort of ‘retrieval’ for a very distraught young woman, but I am just not sure. I remember asking that I be able to help someone should I get out again.

I again found myself in vibrations, but this time in bed focusing on a window I saw at the foot of the bed (not there IP). I knew I just had to focus on going out the window to get ready. So I requested help and protection and I quickly became aware of a screen or curtain to the right side of my bed. I could see a flickering of light coming from behind it, and intuitively knew that someone would be entering the room from there, so I prepared myself for contact.

Walking into the room was a young woman, who moved and talked very quickly. She appeared distraught, and was speaking a language I did not understand (German or European type with hard g’s and k’s). Again I intuitively knew I was not supposed to understand her, as she walked to the left side of my bed. I was alarmed, but still remained calm as she places her hand between my legs, and I remember saying “no!” It was at that point, I realized she was an abused woman, and was trying to tell me something.

I was able to coax her to sit on the bed, keeping her talking, just listening but not understanding. Finally, she got to the point where I was able to hug her, and then I proceeded to cradle her like a baby. Surprisingly, I can now understand her words as she is speaking in English, and she is telling me about her special place in the woods where she would go to get away sometimes.

I felt concerned that I didn’t know how to correctly deal with this situation, yet I knew I had to make her become aware she was not here IP anymore. I said “tell me what happened the last time” and she didn’t understand me, giving me a puzzled look.
Now I’m really concerned, thinking I said something wrong, so I clarified my sentence by asking, “no, the last time you were in the woods, tell me what happened. It’s ok; you can tell me…what did you do there?” Again I intuitively had the feeling that the last time she went in the woods was when she committed suicide.

Unfortunately, when I asked that question, it is exactly when I started fading back to awareness! Now I’m concerned because I don’t know if I said the wrong thing or if I said enough for her to realize the last time she was in the woods that that is what happened.

I tried to lie there, in that semi-awake stage, to ask if I did right or wrong but did not get any kind of validation. This was a definite interaction with a distraught soul, but I am not sure of its ending. I am hoping that by calming her down enough to make her remember in a more rational thought process what she did the last time she was in the woods would enable her to deal with where she was at now and allow her to cross over completely. At least that is what I am hoping for, as I do not want to think I did more harm than good!

One last event I recorded was just before awakening the next morning, when I recall hearing words that knew to be very important and profound. All I could remember of it was the following that I recorded: “You have always had a clear and open channel to God/Universe….all we have to do is look for it. Every single person has it; many just don’t know to seek it, or chose to ignore it, or just don’t chose to use it.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

49) Multiple exits OOBE

3/06/08

Well, it was quite the busy night for me!! Multiple exits - the most I can even remember in one night! I'm not sure what's going on, but I'm having more at a time, but less involved....

I was on the couch, again with the wish to travel to the Temple of Healing as my intention. I became aware the TV was on, (some comedy show) but also knew it probably wasn't really on. Then the vibrations started (I believe I somehow 'start' them when I know I'm ready). I was excited but stayed calm.

I strongly affirmed "out of body now!" and was able to sit up and roll out. I affirmed, "to the door!" and moved to the side door of my house, feeling the heaviness disappear. Then, "to the outside!" and while passing through the door, I was able to see my glowing white ethereal hand, a confirmation that I was definitely in the 'near-physical OOB' despite my knowing this already. (I always seek that extra validation for some reason!)

Now I'm on the porch, I say "clarity now!" and am able to see the trees and yard, much like it looks in IP. I wondered what to do now (not remembering my goal this time), and as I looked around I heard thunder, thinking, 'wow, is it going to rain?' At this point my dog Buddy came into room, making so much noise, I became fully awake on the couch, with no sign of rain or thunder in the area.

I attempted to reinduce, again with the intent of traveling to the Temple of Healing. Again, I became aware that I was now in a sitting position on the couch, and yet knowing that it's not my 'normal' position. So realizing I could get out, I just climbed over the back of the couch.

As with a previous OOBE, I was disoriented getting out that direction and felt some confusion as to whether I was really out or not. I affirmed, 'to the outdoors' and at the same time I DID remember I wanted to travel to the Temple of Healing, so I affirmed my intent. There was still some confusion, but I started spinning within, and then started to pull back as if to travel down the tunnel, but for some reason I thought I was becoming awake.

So now that I think I'm awake, I try to record my experience but noticed that the recorder was 'full' and not able to work. (Never had that happen before) So I had to get up off the couch to go to the computer to download what I had to empty it. While at the computer I noticed the outside porch light was on (saw it through my window by the computer) and wondered why I had forgotten to turn it off last night.

At that point, I actually became fully awake and saw I was still on couch! (so the move to the computer was OOB!) I am wondering if I'm not supposed to travel there at this time...but at least I remembered I wanted to!

Again I try to re-induce, but knowing that traveling to the Temple of Healing is not going to work, I set my intention on what William Buhlman always says is the best to do when OOB. That is to go "to my higher self".

This is the strange part for me. I absolutely know I was out and doing something, as I remember going over it in detail as I was pulling back to enhance recall. I know I recorded it, but for some strange reason, no recording was made! I remember talking into it, and I'm sure I used it correctly. I don't know if it was operator error or just didn't record.

Now, as I'm fully awake on the couch, I find I have lost everything! Not one detail of recall remains! So I attempted to relax back to recall but absolutely no details came back. There was such a 'blankness' that I have never experienced before! Maybe I wasn't supposed to 'remember' this? or maybe it was just not comprehensible to my awake mind?

I do remember that upon awakening fully from this experience, there was such a marked difference in the 'consciousness' sensation - it's tough to describe, but you actually feel the change in mentation.

Now for the fourth time, I attempt to re-induce and become aware of traveling down a road (a good signal for me that I'm ready to go out). So I continued on off the road and up into the trees, just looking around. This was more like astral vision with the observing of things, not that strong feeling of being OOB. I didn't remember to say where I wanted to go, as I felt as though I had little or no control anyway.

I found myself again in the black tunnel, backwards, traveling for a long, long, long time! There was the same vibrations as before, but I tried not to focus on them as I think that was what stopped me previously.

I continued on with the tunnel and finally said "I am at my destination now" to get it to stop! (That was Droxine's suggestion I did remember! - instead of "I go to....", I should say "I am AT...." to see if the travel time lessens. This isn't exactly how I intended to use it, but it did work in stopping the very long 'tunnel travel'!)

I immediately slowed down, and was looking at a huge multi-room house, much like a resort would have, but I feel this was residential houses. It was wintertime, as I saw snow on the yards and roads, lit by the streetlights.

It had a wealthy feeling to the area, with many large houses along the street. I personally felt as if I was sitting, traveling backward (slowly), in something I am not familiar with, possible a horse-drawn carriage. I wondered to myself if this was possibly a past-life experience I was watching?

We turned onto another street, and I tried to see if there was anything I could recognize. The crossroad we were at was familiar with a section where I live now, but the houses were very different.

We turned into a driveway on the right, and strangely, I could then feel branches(?) touching my right arm! It was an actual physical sensation, and I recall saying, "what is this?"

At that point, the scene melded into my daughter standing at the side of my bed, trying to wake me up, (which I thought was for real!) by touching my same right arm. I was diappointed that she stopped my travels and woke me, and she's asking me something that I can't understand. I ask her to repeat it 2-3 times, but still can't understand her words!

I'm also thinking I don't want to wake too much, because I wanted to recall the first part of my experience, so I then melded back into the dreamstate and was able to recall what I did initially.

I was surprised to find myself then fully awake, on the couch (not bed!) and discover that it was another false awakening, but within an experience. I am so confused as to why this happened! Why did she have to wake me (false awakened) during an actual travel? I just don't understand what's going on!

Sunday, March 2, 2008

48) Another 'Almost there' OOBE

3/02/08

I have just returned from a trip with my son, wife, and grandchild and while I was in the hotel, I had another traveling experience, although again, it really wasn't much....and stopped MUCH too soon!!!

I am reading a book by Dolores Cannon about her regressions for the 'in-between' lives in the book called, "Between Death and Life". It's so interesting...and the chapter I had just finished there was about one person's travel to the Temple of Healing with the Chamber of Colors and Light...(a beautifully described place with gemstones and light that heals the etheric body)....as well as their visit to the Tapestry of Life. (Another more complex form of the Akashic records instead of a book/library)

I was so enthralled with its description that I thought I'd put in the intent to travel there. Amazingly, I was able to become aware I was 'getting out', but not in the near physical. I was aware of being at the top of a mountain, looking over the valley and trees below, and knowing I was able to continue on 'out' off the mountain and fly.

As I flew, my view of the trees and valley became more and more 'cloudy' as I felt I was being pulled backward. It was at this point that I was fully aware, and very conscious, that I could go wherever I wanted. I remembered easily that I wanted to go to the "Temple of Healing" and put in my affirmation as such.

The backward travel became faster, darker (as if through a tunnel), with physical vibratory sensations being felt on my left hip and head areas. I was very comfortable with the mode of travel (having done it many times) and was trying to keep my excitement (which I felt I did) to a minimum.

Just as the travel started to slow, I clearly heard a MUFFLED female voice say something, (about 4-5 words), but I could not understand any of it!! I remember asking, "please repeat!" knowing it was something important, and had the impression somehow it was about my 'breathing"(?) I was confused as I was not breathing any differently than usual - so maybe my impression was wrong, I just am not sure.

Unfortunately, right after hearing the words, I became fully aware - to the point of being awake! I was SO disappointed to find myself unable to get back to where I was....

Later, I again became aware of my hands being gently and loving caressed and can remember wondering who would be doing this - but also not wanting to move because it felt so good! At the same time, I could 'hear' the clockradio go off, playing the song "Amazing Grace", and wonder who set that alarm as I knew I didn't! At that point the hand massage and radio went was gone, and I realized it was a 'false awakening'.

I don't know if that was a consolation for not reaching my intended destination or not, but that was the extent of my travels for the rest of the night.

I'm happy I'm able to consciously remember my destinations, but Ihave not yet been able to get there!! lol