2011_01_23 137) Impulsiveness While OOB
This OBE was a first for me, in the sense that I was SO obviously being told I was not to leave my ‘physical’ location, yet ignored such an obvious sign to stay! I am so ingrained that it is necessary to move away from my body, that I just left through another doorway!
I realize I am rather impulsive like this, doing what I want to do, rather than taking advantage of what I’m being shown and using it as intended. (This is a frequent happening with me, as you can see from another post on my blog - click here to read it )
With this experience, I remember a very strong ‘sleep paralysis’ sensation and my mind remaining very much aware. I somehow knew I was going to be able to get out of body with this attempt.
My first recollection after the drop into sleep after paralysis, was rolling out of body and moving directly to my front door with my usual exit blindness, as I have done so many times before. However, this time, as I gained speed to move through the door, I was astonished when I “hit” the door with a splat!!
I felt the wooden solidness of the door, even the different panes of glass, and a firm sense of being ‘blocked’! I could barely see, but in ‘feeling’ around the doorway, I felt two strong ‘metal’ bars forming an X across the door! It was an obvious indication that I was NOT to go through this exit!
Without thinking twice, I knew I could try for the side door of my house, as I have used that many times before. (In hindsight, I truly feel this was an attempt to get me to stay in the local area, yet I remember being determined to get outside.)
As I glided to the side door, I felt just a bit apprehensive knowing that my exit could be blocked again, however, I breezed through the door as usual, feeling the subtle change in texture as I passed.
Relieved that I was once again out, I stood on my porch and looked at my front lawn, beautifully illuminated with the full moon. Looking at the moon, I had the clear thought that I wanted to go visit an astronomer friend of mine and did a little jump to start my travel.
However, instead of flying or feeling the usual ‘black tunnel’, I felt I was more drifting and floating gently in another direction. At this point, I stated ‘to my Higher Self’, thinking that if I didn’t make a destination, I’d end up back in body. (I always feel I must be in control when I’m so lucid, instead of allowing things to happen…and that might not be the best for me!) I even remember asking to go to someplace where I could learn my lessons and advance my development.
Unfortunately, here is where I have extremely limited recall. There is this ‘space’ that I know I was interacting and doing something, as the barest memories of ‘pushing through’ to different scenes remain, once being a ‘smoky’ veil that wasn’t sure I wanted to go through. I recall firmly stating, “clarity now” at least three times, and being amazed at how clear my vision was! There were amazing colors…but no other recall.
The next recollection was floating once again, relaxing on a cushion as if ‘unwinding’ after a workout, outside and looking up at the most spectacular night sky I have ever seen! I knew it was not ‘our’ night sky, as the stars were so much more intense and indescribable! There were zillions of them, and how they filled the sky and sparkled was simply amazing!
Floating gently up a hill, I saw a house that vaguely looked familiar, but did not enter it. Looking below me, as I was floating about 10 feet off the ground, I could see my new little kitten following me! She was trying to jump up to join me, over and over…and after a short time, she jumped high enough and made it!
I could feel the tug as she clawed her way onto the cushion and climbed into my lap. The sensation and physical ‘feeling’ of her close to me was as real as waking life, which made me think, ‘Uh oh, my cat HAS really climbed onto my sleeping physical body and is waking me’!!
Knowing I had just had an amazing experience, I decided I’d go back to body before the kitten jolted me awake and made my lose my recall. Pulling back, my first realization was that my cat (in reality) was nowhere near me! I was astonished to be alone on the couch!
I pulled out my recorder, turned it on, and immediately realized I was in another false awakening! The digital display on the recorder did not look familiar at all, despite my sense of ‘being awake’. Knowing this has happened so many times before, I attempted to ‘pull back’ again, and wake further.
This time, I feel myself once again pulling out the recorder and starting to record. I described everything I did, and then, in the middle of my recording, realized that something was ‘not right’. Knowing this was likely another ‘false awakening’ I remembered from a recent forum post that maybe I should try what another OBEr had done, and go back into the experience from this false awakening.
However, knowing that my memories were fading fast, I decided to ‘pull back’ one more time to get myself NOW fully awake. Due to this delay in recording, and so many false awakening at the end, I was now at a complete loss for what happened in the middle of my experience!
In reviewing this experience, I realize that I may have not taken advantage of what was being shown to me, once again due to my impulsiveness. To emphasize this point, when I was reviewing my blog this morning after waking, I was drawn to my post (listed above) and re-read it. I thought it was quite synchronous how I was guided to read this particular blog post from my past so soon after waking.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Overcoming Fear While OOB - Gateway Blog Posts
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
136) Personal Growth by Facing Fears
1/11/11
For this experience, I had moved to the couch as usual, and had much difficulty getting into my meditative state of mind to relax. With a busy past few weeks, I had not had the time to put much effort into meditation and mind relaxation, and this may have impacted my OBE.
After continued attempts, I was thrilled to feel slight vibrations and willed them to become stronger. It did, but I could not sustain that higher level. I was disappointed to think I might not be able to travel. Soon after though, I found myself in an ‘odd’ state of mind, not really sure if I was awake or asleep!
Having learned never to question what’s going on and just take advantage of any ‘confusion’ as to my status, I decided I’d just roll out and see what happened. I couldn’t roll, and after a few attempts, I gave up and said I must be awake, so I just stood up.
I could feel my ‘physicalness’, even to the point where I was removing the blanket off my body and dropping it to the floor! Something was different though, as my head felt very odd…almost as if I was in two places at once. There was this pressure in my head that gave me enough consideration that maybe I could be OOB despite how it felt! (In hindsight, I’m wondering if perhaps I wasn’t fully ‘out’)
I started walking to the front door, knowing that if I AM OOB that I’d be able to move right through it. I remember having the concern that I was going to hit the door hard with my physical body if I was not, so I put my arm out so it wouldn’t hurt so badly!
I was thrilled to feel the ‘crackle’ of the texture change as I passed through the door, to find myself on my front step. It was dark and I still did not feel in much control and slightly confused. I affirmed ‘clarity now!’ a few times, and finally something came into view.
I saw water flooding the area in my front yard, and now more confident of my status, knew I could just walk on the water to move. (*What is interesting to note here, is that I had just recently thought about how the mind is able to effect what seems to be impossible tasks for the physical body – specifically the idea of walking through fire and on water as noted in many religious texts*)
After enjoying the ability to ‘walk on water’, I then realized I don’t even need to walk, I could fly! I fly skyward and quickly found myself in another environment.
I am now in an area with lots of people, no one familiar, going about their daily business. I’m following a group around, talking (but cannot recall about what!), moving through the various rooms. At one point, I told the group that I could fly and they didn’t believe me! They were very emphatic that I was not going to be able to do so, and their determination gave me increased concerns that maybe I really wasn’t! Because of their strong beliefs, I recall having a difficult time remembering that I WAS OOB and knew I could!
To prove my point, I found some stone stairs that went up to another level overlooking where the group of people stood waiting. I was feeling a bit apprehensive, but somehow knew I was OOB. (I do think that I had enough awareness to remember that if I questioned my status even a little bit, that I am always OOB!) That gave me enough courage to just jump…and was thrilled to find myself flying a short distance, drifting gently down to where they stood. They were astounded at my ability to do this! I reveled in my success, exclaiming, See, I told you! I can fly!”
I found I couldn’t really control the flying as I can sometimes do, but it was enough to verify that I was still OOB and visiting these individuals. The only other recollection after this was being asked to help take down some hanging ‘decorations’(?) that hung high above their area ( since they knew I could fly now!) I immediately flew up, took them down, and returned them to the man in charge of the tour. It was while I was up high gathering the decorations that I noticed the ceiling of this area was dome shaped, hence the reason I recorded this as a ‘cave’ initially.
Just before I left that area, I saw my ex-husband in another section and we had some personal discussion that made me feel he understood what all had to happen in our lives and that it was ”meant to be that way” but he was still working out his own issues with how to cope with it.
It was after this that I was aware enough to know I have to get this recorded before I forget, so I took out my recorder, and was surprised to see the screen starting showing all these funny numbers and Chinese like characters on the backlit panel. Having just changed the batteries prior to bed, I thought initially, “Oh no, it is broken!” Then realizing that this is likely a false awakening (as I have had this same ‘broken recorder’ theme multiple times in OBE endings) , I feel myself ‘snap to’ a lighter state where I thought I was now wide awake and proceeded to record (or so I thought so!)
I was quite surprised when immediately I felt someone coming up to the couch, where I am now sitting upright. The atmosphere felt much different than the previous environment, very ‘realistic’ and very physical.
Looking up, I saw my sister crying uncontrollably, and I felt sadness that I had not been a bigger part of her life, that there were things I should have done and didn’t. On my left, I see my younger brother move toward me, again feeling upset and concerned with some personal feelings, and without any time to think, my daughter comes in front of me! She is also sharing some feelings and concerns that go to a personal level and I cannot share here, but the general feeling I am having is sadness and distress that things could not have been done differently in our lives.
Surprisingly, another woman then accompanies my daughter, standing in front of other woman came up talking to me, I’m not really afraid of her but feeling quite concerned. She had a strong forceful presence, and at one point feel her grab my hand tightly. I was insistent that she tell me who she is, asking over and over, “who are you?” My daughter and her both were saying something like they are trying to ‘make me better’ and I felt so many emotions…. fear, sadness, regret, anger…but all at the same time!
Realizing I was not making the situation better, I remembered to just ‘let go’ of all attachments and current emotions. At this point the woman faded away, and I turned to my daughter and asked, “who was that?” I recorded that she gave me a name, but I had no recall as to the specific name only that it was someone she knew from “high school” (?). (It was only after waking did I remember that maybe it would have been a different ending had I ‘sent love’ instead of just letting go….)
For more background on this experience, I had just read in Jurgen Ziewe’s book, Multidimension Man, about his encounters with a Master and learning to overcome his fears while OOB, especially the fear of death. Jurgen had to obtain the proper mindset to face a doorway with daggers in order to move out of this room he was in. I remember thinking as I read this part of the book, that this fear of dying while OOB is an especially hard lesson to learn. But it is when you DO know that you CANNOT be harmed, and can take that confidence with you, you are able to move through to other areas where you learn more about yourself.
I am now thinking that this last part of the OBE, as it was a more personal experience that I could relate to with family issues, was more for my own learning benefit, to face those feelings that I fear most, and to learn to let go of them.
Addendum: MANY THANKS to Kerry for her beautifully designed pictures that offer a visual perspective to my experience! Outstanding work!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
135) Multidimensional Man correlation in OBE
I am happy to report that my ‘dry spell’ for the past few weeks has started to dissipate!! I was a bit concerned that there was minimal to no activity when attempting to travel, even with my dream content! It is frustrating but as with all things ‘not of this world’, there can be unknown variables that influence my lack of activity for one reason or another. I just have to accept that this is what is best for me and keep trying.
I thought I would focus back on my reading material, as that always seems to have a great effect on my recall while OOB, hoping that if I did get out, I would remember what I read. I chose a book written by a long time experienced astral traveler, Jurgen Ziewe, called Multi-dimensional Man. It was recommended to me a while ago and I never had the time to start reading it until now.
To make a long story short, I sure wish I had read this back when the dry spell started!! There are a lot of similar experiences that he encounters that I can relate to on a deep level, and I am only half way through the book! I think I shall write another post later about this great book after I am finished with it and maybe discuss how it compares with my experiences (although I do not have the awesome lucidity and control that he has!)
Meanwhile to get back to my OOB experience from this morning, what you need to know is that he mentioned a few events in his travels that correlated directly with what I experienced this time. He mentions once being aware of meeting people in his sleep clothes, and then to realize he was naked! I remember while reading that I was impressed with his ability to shrug off this experience and continue on with the travels without returning to body.
Another mention he gave was that he would actually STOP and take the time to ‘clear up’ his mind when events started to fade or falter, sometimes just by focusing on his hands. I know in my haste to get on with my travels, I never really take the time to stop and focus, which I did impress as an intention prior to this OBE. He also mentioned how he would just ‘jump high’ to verify he was OOB at any point he was unsure of his status. I know it was reading this book before bed that gave me the focus and control I needed for this experience.
The experience begins with the memory of an exit that just ‘happened’. I remember lying on my traveling couch feeling frustrated with whatever ‘dream event’ was going on, yet knowing I was on the couch. I decided to just get up off the couch to get away from whatever was so frustrating. I found myself easily moving to an upright standing position, but then realized my living room was completely different than it should be. This gave me the awareness that I was actually OOB!
I was in long hallway and could see a familiar building a distance away that I wanted to go into. Moving toward the building, the entire environment started to fade and ‘fuzz’, giving me the feeling I was going to go back to body. I remembered at this time that I wanted to stop and focus on becoming clearer but also focus on my hands as Jurgen did. I was amazed at how easily everything turned back into sharp focus and I proceeded on.
The events of this OBE are very limited to a degree, as I know I did many things in many rooms of this building, meeting many different people. I knew I had been to this building many times before, as it was where I attended various ‘seminars’ to learn and it had a ‘vacation’ type feeling to it. However, there was not total lucidity of being OOB, and some ‘dream events’, such as the need for luggage and clothes, remained part of the experience. I should have known I was OOB, but fell easily into the ‘life-like’ events that occurred at times.
There were only a few experiences amid the many I had that I can clearly recall for posting here. The first was the realization that I was scheduled for a seminar that should have started, but found that my suitcase was not delivered yet! As I moved toward the room where the seminar was, I realized I was wearing only my sleep clothes and felt I could not continue on to the seminar where my peers were. I remember I did feel comfortable enough to continue with my quest to find the suitcase, knowing that Jurgen had done the same. I can remember asking someone, “Am I missing all the seminars?”
The other recall I had was as I walked into this one hallway, I was amazed to see a floor to ceiling mirror on the wall. Even more amazing, I could SEE myself reflected back clearly and accurately!! I was fascinated at the detail of my reflection, and how perfect the reflection was for my current physical status. (I had a previous blog posts - #96 and #126 - where my mirror reflection was either a younger me, or changed in some other way)
While looking at myself, I had doubts of actually being OOB, as it was so real. I remembered again reading about Jurgen doing a little ‘jump’ to verify his status, and did so. I floated high and knew I was still out! I did a little ‘back flip’ in slow motion, just because I knew I could! It was such fun!
A woman came by and asked what I was doing, and I showed her my slow backflip saying, “Why don’t you try it too?!” I showed her and was aghast to see her try to do the same, only to watch her fall flat on her face! I felt awful, helped her up and apologized. Despite this distressing event, she offered to help me find my suitcase, and I remember I was taken to an area where I had to pick my blue suitcase out of the myriad of suitcases that were being unloaded.
She accompanied me as I found myself then on the way up to my room to get dressed. Near the stairs to go up, I noticed some broken pieces of jewelry on the floor. Thinking someone would want this, I started to pick up the broken pieces of necklace, but whomever I was with said to just leave it alone. I continue to pick the pieces up, but soon realized that there was a lot more to this clean up than I thought and had leave it alone as she requested.
There were two other events I recall in limited detail, one that included my brother sleeping in a bedroom and the gentleman I was with trying to wake him. This was after we walked through an area that he had just finished for someone, with painting of zoo animals as a theme in all the rooms, including a walk in closet.
A final recall had to do what likely is an event related to a concern I have in physical, where I was concerned about a task that I was assigned to do, but knew I was not going to have the time to do it right and needed to have someone else take it over. I know I felt much relieved when the man I was with offered to take over my job responsibilities for this matter.
This is all I can recall of my OOB experience, but the happiness I feel knowing I was able to get out again is thrilling! Even though I wasn’t lucid enough to maintain awareness with all events, many times just going along with whatever was happening without much control, I am happy to know that my reading and re-focus on my OOB travels is working.
I am eager now to finish reading this great book, and hoping to have many more experiences that correlate with his fascinating travels. With Jurgen’s travels as a role model for me, I intend now to take more time to focus on maintaining clear awareness and my own lucid control when OOB.
I thought I would focus back on my reading material, as that always seems to have a great effect on my recall while OOB, hoping that if I did get out, I would remember what I read. I chose a book written by a long time experienced astral traveler, Jurgen Ziewe, called Multi-dimensional Man. It was recommended to me a while ago and I never had the time to start reading it until now.
To make a long story short, I sure wish I had read this back when the dry spell started!! There are a lot of similar experiences that he encounters that I can relate to on a deep level, and I am only half way through the book! I think I shall write another post later about this great book after I am finished with it and maybe discuss how it compares with my experiences (although I do not have the awesome lucidity and control that he has!)
Meanwhile to get back to my OOB experience from this morning, what you need to know is that he mentioned a few events in his travels that correlated directly with what I experienced this time. He mentions once being aware of meeting people in his sleep clothes, and then to realize he was naked! I remember while reading that I was impressed with his ability to shrug off this experience and continue on with the travels without returning to body.
Another mention he gave was that he would actually STOP and take the time to ‘clear up’ his mind when events started to fade or falter, sometimes just by focusing on his hands. I know in my haste to get on with my travels, I never really take the time to stop and focus, which I did impress as an intention prior to this OBE. He also mentioned how he would just ‘jump high’ to verify he was OOB at any point he was unsure of his status. I know it was reading this book before bed that gave me the focus and control I needed for this experience.
The experience begins with the memory of an exit that just ‘happened’. I remember lying on my traveling couch feeling frustrated with whatever ‘dream event’ was going on, yet knowing I was on the couch. I decided to just get up off the couch to get away from whatever was so frustrating. I found myself easily moving to an upright standing position, but then realized my living room was completely different than it should be. This gave me the awareness that I was actually OOB!
I was in long hallway and could see a familiar building a distance away that I wanted to go into. Moving toward the building, the entire environment started to fade and ‘fuzz’, giving me the feeling I was going to go back to body. I remembered at this time that I wanted to stop and focus on becoming clearer but also focus on my hands as Jurgen did. I was amazed at how easily everything turned back into sharp focus and I proceeded on.
The events of this OBE are very limited to a degree, as I know I did many things in many rooms of this building, meeting many different people. I knew I had been to this building many times before, as it was where I attended various ‘seminars’ to learn and it had a ‘vacation’ type feeling to it. However, there was not total lucidity of being OOB, and some ‘dream events’, such as the need for luggage and clothes, remained part of the experience. I should have known I was OOB, but fell easily into the ‘life-like’ events that occurred at times.
There were only a few experiences amid the many I had that I can clearly recall for posting here. The first was the realization that I was scheduled for a seminar that should have started, but found that my suitcase was not delivered yet! As I moved toward the room where the seminar was, I realized I was wearing only my sleep clothes and felt I could not continue on to the seminar where my peers were. I remember I did feel comfortable enough to continue with my quest to find the suitcase, knowing that Jurgen had done the same. I can remember asking someone, “Am I missing all the seminars?”
The other recall I had was as I walked into this one hallway, I was amazed to see a floor to ceiling mirror on the wall. Even more amazing, I could SEE myself reflected back clearly and accurately!! I was fascinated at the detail of my reflection, and how perfect the reflection was for my current physical status. (I had a previous blog posts - #96 and #126 - where my mirror reflection was either a younger me, or changed in some other way)
While looking at myself, I had doubts of actually being OOB, as it was so real. I remembered again reading about Jurgen doing a little ‘jump’ to verify his status, and did so. I floated high and knew I was still out! I did a little ‘back flip’ in slow motion, just because I knew I could! It was such fun!
A woman came by and asked what I was doing, and I showed her my slow backflip saying, “Why don’t you try it too?!” I showed her and was aghast to see her try to do the same, only to watch her fall flat on her face! I felt awful, helped her up and apologized. Despite this distressing event, she offered to help me find my suitcase, and I remember I was taken to an area where I had to pick my blue suitcase out of the myriad of suitcases that were being unloaded.
She accompanied me as I found myself then on the way up to my room to get dressed. Near the stairs to go up, I noticed some broken pieces of jewelry on the floor. Thinking someone would want this, I started to pick up the broken pieces of necklace, but whomever I was with said to just leave it alone. I continue to pick the pieces up, but soon realized that there was a lot more to this clean up than I thought and had leave it alone as she requested.
There were two other events I recall in limited detail, one that included my brother sleeping in a bedroom and the gentleman I was with trying to wake him. This was after we walked through an area that he had just finished for someone, with painting of zoo animals as a theme in all the rooms, including a walk in closet.
A final recall had to do what likely is an event related to a concern I have in physical, where I was concerned about a task that I was assigned to do, but knew I was not going to have the time to do it right and needed to have someone else take it over. I know I felt much relieved when the man I was with offered to take over my job responsibilities for this matter.
This is all I can recall of my OOB experience, but the happiness I feel knowing I was able to get out again is thrilling! Even though I wasn’t lucid enough to maintain awareness with all events, many times just going along with whatever was happening without much control, I am happy to know that my reading and re-focus on my OOB travels is working.
I am eager now to finish reading this great book, and hoping to have many more experiences that correlate with his fascinating travels. With Jurgen’s travels as a role model for me, I intend now to take more time to focus on maintaining clear awareness and my own lucid control when OOB.
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