Another short OBE, and one that is not as 'in depth', but still I thought I'd share!
3:15am 10/28/08
With the last two experiences being totally spontaneous (which means without moving to the couch and mentally preparing myself with affirmations and visualizations), I thought I’d try once again, upon going to sleep, to mentally request help and guidance from those ‘who are at or above my level of development’ and if it was possible to experience another spontaneous OBE.
Somehow the knowing that help is there for the asking is more deeply ingrained within my subconscious, so I felt it was something I needed to try to validate this new understanding. I was surprised and thrilled to awaken from another spontaneous OBE a short while later!!
My first recall was lying in bed, with my husband intently watching me as he knew I was attempting to get into the proper mind frame for OBE travelling. (In real life, he was sleeping next to me, as I apparently was). I could hear him say to someone, ‘watch, she’s going out!’ as if he was concerned that I was going into this trance. I was fully aware of his concern, yet knew I wanted to do this so continued on. I was reading words as they scrolled on a monitor next to my bed that placed me in this ‘trance, and was able feel the movement into this altered state as I read.
At some point, I just knew I was ready to ‘get out’. I don’t have any recollection as to what the signal was, but remember once again thinking that if I even have the smallest thought that I was ‘ready’ I should go with it! So instead of rolling out, it felt like I just ‘walked out’ this time and headed for the porch door.
Once I moved through the door to the porch I knew I was out for certain. Standing outside, I could feel the rain, and remembered it was pouring when I feel asleep (which it was in real life).
However, despite being a distance away, I still felt the very strong tugging, pulling me back to body. Not wanting to let it pull me back, I just tumbled over the railing to the ground, feeling the rail as I passed through.
On the ground I realize I’m blind, in pure blackness, and as I move, I know I am passing through things as I can feel the texture changes. In an attempt to clear up my vision, I remember affirming, ‘clarity now!’ twice, yet with no results!
Not being sure where I was, I figured I’d just shoot straight up like a rocket to the far reaches of the solar system, wanting to see the Earth from outer space once again.
As I moved upward, the movement vibration changed, and it became the familiar black tunnel as I have previously experienced.
At some point, I could see the Earth in all its blue and white beauty, and realized I was still moving away, backwards! The Earth became smaller and smaller, and at the point where it became the size of a beach ball (that’s what my thoughts were – it’s a beach ball!), I heard the words, “It is whatever you think it is”. At that point, I knew it was a beach ball, so I playfully batted it away as if a toy!
There is some loss of recall here, because the next memory I recorded is the ending that is just a bit confusing to write about as I don’t fully remember its meaning, which I know I had at the time.
I saw a series of pictures, and knew these were my ‘saved’ pictures that I could blend into. You move into what you save, and these pictures were the ones I saved. Looking at one picture of my family in younger years (brothers, sister, mom, dad on a bench), I said that I didn’t really remember taking that exact picture, but yet it was one I choose to transition into. It seems everyone has their own set of saved pictures that you are able to ‘go’ into.
I am writing here exactly what I recorded because I really don’t have the ability to make too much sense of it at this time. It is my hope that someone has some insight as to what it all means, and can share their thoughts!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
79) Spontaneous OBE; Impulsiveness Learning
10.25-26.08 Awakened 12:30a
I was once again surprised to discover I was able to spontaneously enter into an OBE state from the dream state without having to do a lot of preparation prior to sleep. I remember falling to sleep thinking about a recent statement I read that told me it’s a given fact (Universal Law) that anytime you go deeply within and ask for help, it MUST be given.
Despite knowing this previously, somehow this statement resonated even more deeply this time and I felt very comforted to know that help is never far away. I mentally requested this help, to let me understand better what I am to learn and to give me guidance and direction.
I also was thinking upon falling asleep about a recent email I had with another individual who is learning OBE about the use of a falling visualization to induce. Both of these ‘thought patterns’ I feel played a role in my being able to awaken within this dream to get OOB even though I had not ‘set intention’ of traveling that night.
I remember I was dreaming of skydiving and generating that falling sensation and how it must feel to freefall. (I have never skydived in real life, however, I was just asked recently by my daughter if I’d consider it sometime with her, and after only a short pause, said, Yes! :) – the date is still to be determined)
My first recollection was of lying in bed, but different than the one I was in. However, I was aware of movement sensations within my body, and having learned you never just dismiss any chance to get OOB, I decided I’d just roll out and see what happens!
I found myself OOB, standing next to the bed, and having the strongest pulling sensation ever tugging at me to get back in body! I was adamant that I was not going back yet, and remember pulling and pulling without a lot of success. I remembered, ‘to the door!’ which didn’t work (maybe because I did not see a door!) and nearly fell back into body. I looked back to the bed, saw the vague outline of me sleeping and then paused a moment to try to think of what to do next.
I then tried, ‘to the outside!’ and amazingly I was immediately transported to another location. This OBE start up was different in that I was not in my usual ‘real life’ room, yet still knew I was out and able to go places just by affirming my intent.
I found myself in a small house-like building with many rooms, with at least two other male individuals. Again, many memories are lost with the transition back to waking consciousness, however, I was able to request help in retaining some information and this is what I was able to record.
I was enjoying myself in this house, going from room to room, doing something that was helping me to learn to move about in this realm. I remember seeing walls and doors, and enjoying the fact that I could just move through them without a concern. What exactly I was doing in each room, however, is lost to recall.
I knew there was a younger male in the house with me, who may have been the one who brought me here, but there was no interaction with him. I was more interested in the ‘older’ male, who gave the feeling of being ‘in charge’. He was busy working within each room as well, yet I was doggedly following after him, asking question after question in order to better understand whatever I was learning. I was not bothered at all that he would continue to work as we talked, as that is exactly how I do things…multi-tasking!
As we entered one room, I looked outside the window and saw a beautiful pure white crystalline ‘ocean’ of some kind, one that had small scale-like pure white crystals moving gently and regularly (like an ocean surf would) next to the house.
I immediately wanted to go out to see this firsthand, and without thinking twice, popped through the side of the house nearest that window and going out. I was surprised to find it was so cold! I remember standing there with my ‘feet’ in the crystals feeling the cold, watching the waves of crystal surround me. I walked a short distance in the white crystals, to the other end of the house, and knew to just ‘pop’ back inside the house through another wall.
I found myself in another room, one with an older ‘storage’ type feeling, and thought, ‘yup, this is the right room for this end of the house’ so I knew I was where I was back where I was supposed to be.
It was after that crystal ocean experience that I remember walking up to the older male and specifically asking, “I know I have learned you can travel anywhere just by thought, but why can’t I go visit my mother?” The question in general felt it had more to do with visiting any other people who are still in physical while I was OOB.
His response was felt more than heard, so this is the idea of our discussion. He said that I had not learned the ‘control’ that is necessary yet, as I was still a bit headstrong in my actions while OOB. I did not take the time to see the ‘connections’ that are being given to me, yet I remember saying (in my defense) that at least I DID make the ‘connection’ even though it wasn’t the way he was trying to get me to do it. I knew I was smiling as I know I DO do that!
He gave two examples of ‘connections/associations’ he had been trying to send me, and this is difficult to write as it really doesn’t make sense once awake (but it made perfect sense at that time!) He showed me the ‘lead crystals beads’ hanging on a lamp, and then the same ‘lead crystals’ in another part of the room. I was supposed to make the connection between these two to learn something; however, I did it my own way and made the ‘connection/association’ via a different means. I have absolutely no recall as to what the other example was, but it made perfect sense at that time.
I believe he was trying to point out that I do not take the time that is necessary to learn the small steps, always wanting to go explore and take off on my own. (Yes, I am guilty of this, I know! – see my first OOB in my blog (#1) when I just took off without waiting for my helpers! In hindsight, I also believe the exit through the house to the crystal ocean was another example of my impatience and curiosity!)
I followed him into another room as he worked and this room felt more like his ‘private’ room. I recall thinking maybe I shouldn’t be here, as I noticed another female standing by the door with a Bluetooth type headset on her ear, talking. There was no interaction with her, but I thought I might be intruding on some privacy issue.
However, I immediately ‘knew’ that there is no privacy in this realm and that all thoughts and actions are capable of being seen by all others – (this may have been a new learning for me) – so I was no longer concerned about being there. Similarly, I realize the presence of ‘walls and doors’ in the astral are there but are not used for the same ‘privacy’ and blocking, as anyone can just go through them with ease.
Nothing in our discussion was felt to be neither critical nor blameworthy. It was felt to be a learning process and I understood and accepted all that I was being told without a concern. He began speaking again showing me more information when I felt that sharp transition to waking consciousness.
I know once I feel that transition I will be awake, so I always try to remain within that altered consciousness as long as I can to tag my experiences with single words for recall upon waking. I remember frantically realizing I had NO words to tag with, and mentally requested help to please let me remember something! Words then came to me and I was able to remember this much for recording, however, there was SO much more that was lost!
Generally speaking though, this experience has shown me that perhaps I need to take more time to slowly learn the proper processes before trying to go do things on my own in the astral. I am not sure exactly how this relates to my physical life, except perhaps to tell me that I need to slow down and take more time to focus on my own needs so that I may be more aware of the connections and associations being presented to me.
I was once again surprised to discover I was able to spontaneously enter into an OBE state from the dream state without having to do a lot of preparation prior to sleep. I remember falling to sleep thinking about a recent statement I read that told me it’s a given fact (Universal Law) that anytime you go deeply within and ask for help, it MUST be given.
Despite knowing this previously, somehow this statement resonated even more deeply this time and I felt very comforted to know that help is never far away. I mentally requested this help, to let me understand better what I am to learn and to give me guidance and direction.
I also was thinking upon falling asleep about a recent email I had with another individual who is learning OBE about the use of a falling visualization to induce. Both of these ‘thought patterns’ I feel played a role in my being able to awaken within this dream to get OOB even though I had not ‘set intention’ of traveling that night.
I remember I was dreaming of skydiving and generating that falling sensation and how it must feel to freefall. (I have never skydived in real life, however, I was just asked recently by my daughter if I’d consider it sometime with her, and after only a short pause, said, Yes! :) – the date is still to be determined)
My first recollection was of lying in bed, but different than the one I was in. However, I was aware of movement sensations within my body, and having learned you never just dismiss any chance to get OOB, I decided I’d just roll out and see what happens!
I found myself OOB, standing next to the bed, and having the strongest pulling sensation ever tugging at me to get back in body! I was adamant that I was not going back yet, and remember pulling and pulling without a lot of success. I remembered, ‘to the door!’ which didn’t work (maybe because I did not see a door!) and nearly fell back into body. I looked back to the bed, saw the vague outline of me sleeping and then paused a moment to try to think of what to do next.
I then tried, ‘to the outside!’ and amazingly I was immediately transported to another location. This OBE start up was different in that I was not in my usual ‘real life’ room, yet still knew I was out and able to go places just by affirming my intent.
I found myself in a small house-like building with many rooms, with at least two other male individuals. Again, many memories are lost with the transition back to waking consciousness, however, I was able to request help in retaining some information and this is what I was able to record.
I was enjoying myself in this house, going from room to room, doing something that was helping me to learn to move about in this realm. I remember seeing walls and doors, and enjoying the fact that I could just move through them without a concern. What exactly I was doing in each room, however, is lost to recall.
I knew there was a younger male in the house with me, who may have been the one who brought me here, but there was no interaction with him. I was more interested in the ‘older’ male, who gave the feeling of being ‘in charge’. He was busy working within each room as well, yet I was doggedly following after him, asking question after question in order to better understand whatever I was learning. I was not bothered at all that he would continue to work as we talked, as that is exactly how I do things…multi-tasking!
As we entered one room, I looked outside the window and saw a beautiful pure white crystalline ‘ocean’ of some kind, one that had small scale-like pure white crystals moving gently and regularly (like an ocean surf would) next to the house.
I immediately wanted to go out to see this firsthand, and without thinking twice, popped through the side of the house nearest that window and going out. I was surprised to find it was so cold! I remember standing there with my ‘feet’ in the crystals feeling the cold, watching the waves of crystal surround me. I walked a short distance in the white crystals, to the other end of the house, and knew to just ‘pop’ back inside the house through another wall.
I found myself in another room, one with an older ‘storage’ type feeling, and thought, ‘yup, this is the right room for this end of the house’ so I knew I was where I was back where I was supposed to be.
It was after that crystal ocean experience that I remember walking up to the older male and specifically asking, “I know I have learned you can travel anywhere just by thought, but why can’t I go visit my mother?” The question in general felt it had more to do with visiting any other people who are still in physical while I was OOB.
His response was felt more than heard, so this is the idea of our discussion. He said that I had not learned the ‘control’ that is necessary yet, as I was still a bit headstrong in my actions while OOB. I did not take the time to see the ‘connections’ that are being given to me, yet I remember saying (in my defense) that at least I DID make the ‘connection’ even though it wasn’t the way he was trying to get me to do it. I knew I was smiling as I know I DO do that!
He gave two examples of ‘connections/associations’ he had been trying to send me, and this is difficult to write as it really doesn’t make sense once awake (but it made perfect sense at that time!) He showed me the ‘lead crystals beads’ hanging on a lamp, and then the same ‘lead crystals’ in another part of the room. I was supposed to make the connection between these two to learn something; however, I did it my own way and made the ‘connection/association’ via a different means. I have absolutely no recall as to what the other example was, but it made perfect sense at that time.
I believe he was trying to point out that I do not take the time that is necessary to learn the small steps, always wanting to go explore and take off on my own. (Yes, I am guilty of this, I know! – see my first OOB in my blog (#1) when I just took off without waiting for my helpers! In hindsight, I also believe the exit through the house to the crystal ocean was another example of my impatience and curiosity!)
I followed him into another room as he worked and this room felt more like his ‘private’ room. I recall thinking maybe I shouldn’t be here, as I noticed another female standing by the door with a Bluetooth type headset on her ear, talking. There was no interaction with her, but I thought I might be intruding on some privacy issue.
However, I immediately ‘knew’ that there is no privacy in this realm and that all thoughts and actions are capable of being seen by all others – (this may have been a new learning for me) – so I was no longer concerned about being there. Similarly, I realize the presence of ‘walls and doors’ in the astral are there but are not used for the same ‘privacy’ and blocking, as anyone can just go through them with ease.
Nothing in our discussion was felt to be neither critical nor blameworthy. It was felt to be a learning process and I understood and accepted all that I was being told without a concern. He began speaking again showing me more information when I felt that sharp transition to waking consciousness.
I know once I feel that transition I will be awake, so I always try to remain within that altered consciousness as long as I can to tag my experiences with single words for recall upon waking. I remember frantically realizing I had NO words to tag with, and mentally requested help to please let me remember something! Words then came to me and I was able to remember this much for recording, however, there was SO much more that was lost!
Generally speaking though, this experience has shown me that perhaps I need to take more time to slowly learn the proper processes before trying to go do things on my own in the astral. I am not sure exactly how this relates to my physical life, except perhaps to tell me that I need to slow down and take more time to focus on my own needs so that I may be more aware of the connections and associations being presented to me.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
78) Finally! Revealing My Guide!
10/15/08
This was an unplanned and unexpected surprise, as I had no direct ‘intention’ or focus on trying to have an OBE last night! So it is even better (to me) that it was totally spontaneous!
I remember lying in bed (not my usual ‘traveling couch’!), feeling like I’m awake, but very relaxed, wondering if it is near time to get up. I realize that it feels like my legs are floating, and in a position that just couldn’t be possible (up off to the right somewhere!)
I think initially, ‘it can’t be my usual signal for OBE because I’m so awake’, yet still, it FELT just like it was! So, not wanting to take any chance (that’s one thing I have learned with this OBE process!), I tell myself I’ll just roll out and see what happens!!
An interesting (and unexpected) twist to my roll out is that I now feel like I’m ‘oozing’ out, and sliding very gently off the side of the bed and hanging. I even remember thinking, ‘wow, if I’m really physically doing this, then my husband (who is sleeping next to me) is certainly going to think I’m strange hanging off the side of the bed in this position!’ It almost felt as though I was actually ‘peeling myself’ out of body!!
So I’m standing by the bed, and have the absolute best clarity of thinking and vision that I have ever had! It was so clear that I thought I was actually physically out of bed! I moved to the door, and was SO surprised to get my validation that I am indeed out of body when my hand and arm go easily through the bedroom porch door!
Thrilled to be out unexpectedly again, and with such clarity of feeling and vision, I take off flying over the yard. I recall seeing everything just as it is for ‘real’, and am just ecstatic that I do my usual aerial acrobatics for fun!
Once again, as with my last experience, I feel someone’s hand on mine. This time, however, I have the clarity of mind to say, “I want to see who you are!!”
We continue on together, and I recall walking along with him in a garden-type area, conversing. He was next to me, but not visible to me, and I don’t remember all we talked about. But I do know at one point I told him I need to ‘see’ him and learn his name!
There was such a light-hearted fun feeling with him, as there always is when I’m with my guide in past experiences. He knew I wanted to ‘see’ him, so he had some fun with me in showing first just an glowing outline of him, and I said laughingly, “no fair, show me more!”
I watched intently as he ‘faded’ in to full form – a young male with medium length straight dark hair, average height, white shirt, dark pants – and a very familiar warm smile!! I remember him from other experiences, having glimpses of him, yet never being sure who he was.
He lightheartedly tells me he’s the one who ‘plays with my feet’ to try to get me to go out of body! There has been many times I have felt hands on my feet at various points of exiting (see my blog), and now I know who my helper is!
We walk toward an elevator and now I don’t even think to ask him his name!! However, he knew I wanted it and had this next encounter arranged so that he would not have to directly tell me his name (as again, I believe I requested this prior to incarnating this life).
As we near the elevator, I am surprised to see a male co-worker (actual nurse, still alive) walk toward the same elevator we are going to. My guide says to him, “Hi T.T., ICU” (in the same intonation manner that T.T. uses in real life here to answer the phone every day at work!).
T.T. answers him, as we all get into the elevator, “Hi Richard!” and I exclaim excitedly to my guide, “It’s Richard! Your name is Richard! Do you know how long I’ve tried to find that out?” (which of course he knows! lol)
He starts talking to me, as the elevator starts to move, about being with me ‘back when…’ and I’m having a hard time focusing as I feel I’m waking. I was left with the impression that he has been with me many lifetimes and will continue to be with me in the future.
I woke with such contentedness and joy, mentally thanking Richard for this revelation, and then surprised to hear his “You’re welcome, Karen!” within my mind while I’m lying there fully awake!
COMMENTARY:
I wanted to add my thoughts about this experience now that I've had a day to digest what happened. Somehow I feel the 'click out' in the previous experience (#77) with my desire to travel to my Higher Self played a role in this meeting.
I have always felt the reason I could not get a name from my helpers is because I had given the request for no direct contact with my guides for this physical incarnation, as it fits my thinking to want to do this 'on my own' if I could...
However, I feel that perhaps the connection with my Higher Self resulted in me giving 'myself' permission for this meeting to occur!! It just seems to 'fit'...I have no way of knowing if this is true, except for what my 'intuition' is telling me!
This was an unplanned and unexpected surprise, as I had no direct ‘intention’ or focus on trying to have an OBE last night! So it is even better (to me) that it was totally spontaneous!
I remember lying in bed (not my usual ‘traveling couch’!), feeling like I’m awake, but very relaxed, wondering if it is near time to get up. I realize that it feels like my legs are floating, and in a position that just couldn’t be possible (up off to the right somewhere!)
I think initially, ‘it can’t be my usual signal for OBE because I’m so awake’, yet still, it FELT just like it was! So, not wanting to take any chance (that’s one thing I have learned with this OBE process!), I tell myself I’ll just roll out and see what happens!!
An interesting (and unexpected) twist to my roll out is that I now feel like I’m ‘oozing’ out, and sliding very gently off the side of the bed and hanging. I even remember thinking, ‘wow, if I’m really physically doing this, then my husband (who is sleeping next to me) is certainly going to think I’m strange hanging off the side of the bed in this position!’ It almost felt as though I was actually ‘peeling myself’ out of body!!
So I’m standing by the bed, and have the absolute best clarity of thinking and vision that I have ever had! It was so clear that I thought I was actually physically out of bed! I moved to the door, and was SO surprised to get my validation that I am indeed out of body when my hand and arm go easily through the bedroom porch door!
Thrilled to be out unexpectedly again, and with such clarity of feeling and vision, I take off flying over the yard. I recall seeing everything just as it is for ‘real’, and am just ecstatic that I do my usual aerial acrobatics for fun!
Once again, as with my last experience, I feel someone’s hand on mine. This time, however, I have the clarity of mind to say, “I want to see who you are!!”
We continue on together, and I recall walking along with him in a garden-type area, conversing. He was next to me, but not visible to me, and I don’t remember all we talked about. But I do know at one point I told him I need to ‘see’ him and learn his name!
There was such a light-hearted fun feeling with him, as there always is when I’m with my guide in past experiences. He knew I wanted to ‘see’ him, so he had some fun with me in showing first just an glowing outline of him, and I said laughingly, “no fair, show me more!”
I watched intently as he ‘faded’ in to full form – a young male with medium length straight dark hair, average height, white shirt, dark pants – and a very familiar warm smile!! I remember him from other experiences, having glimpses of him, yet never being sure who he was.
He lightheartedly tells me he’s the one who ‘plays with my feet’ to try to get me to go out of body! There has been many times I have felt hands on my feet at various points of exiting (see my blog), and now I know who my helper is!
We walk toward an elevator and now I don’t even think to ask him his name!! However, he knew I wanted it and had this next encounter arranged so that he would not have to directly tell me his name (as again, I believe I requested this prior to incarnating this life).
As we near the elevator, I am surprised to see a male co-worker (actual nurse, still alive) walk toward the same elevator we are going to. My guide says to him, “Hi T.T., ICU” (in the same intonation manner that T.T. uses in real life here to answer the phone every day at work!).
T.T. answers him, as we all get into the elevator, “Hi Richard!” and I exclaim excitedly to my guide, “It’s Richard! Your name is Richard! Do you know how long I’ve tried to find that out?” (which of course he knows! lol)
He starts talking to me, as the elevator starts to move, about being with me ‘back when…’ and I’m having a hard time focusing as I feel I’m waking. I was left with the impression that he has been with me many lifetimes and will continue to be with me in the future.
I woke with such contentedness and joy, mentally thanking Richard for this revelation, and then surprised to hear his “You’re welcome, Karen!” within my mind while I’m lying there fully awake!
COMMENTARY:
I wanted to add my thoughts about this experience now that I've had a day to digest what happened. Somehow I feel the 'click out' in the previous experience (#77) with my desire to travel to my Higher Self played a role in this meeting.
I have always felt the reason I could not get a name from my helpers is because I had given the request for no direct contact with my guides for this physical incarnation, as it fits my thinking to want to do this 'on my own' if I could...
However, I feel that perhaps the connection with my Higher Self resulted in me giving 'myself' permission for this meeting to occur!! It just seems to 'fit'...I have no way of knowing if this is true, except for what my 'intuition' is telling me!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
77) Higher Self; Click Out
10/12/08
I became aware within a dream that I was once again driving, having arrived at a crossroads that had some sort of anomaly in it (unusual road sign?), and had that slight hesitation of doubt as to whether I am really driving, which allowed me to become aware of my dream state.
I did not take the time to look at my hands (my usual way of determining readiness), but just jumped backward quickly without a care as to whether I was really driving or not! I remember even thinking, “Well, I certainly hope I’m not really driving!”, but yet my subconscious knows that if I have to have even a shred of doubt, then it’s my signal to exit!
I then rolled off the couch, feeling the usual pulling and tugging, and used the affirmation ‘to the door!’ with ease. Again I was in total darkness, blind, yet still aware of where I had to go. As I moved through the front door, I remembered I wanted to go to my Higher Self, to seek guidance and support from the one place that I know I will get the best answers from.
I paused on the front porch, briefly thinking I’d like to go see G.S., but more importantly wanted to see where my Higher Self would take me.
I did a small jump, affirmed ‘to my Higher Self” and started floating upward, moving quickly backward through blackness. What is interesting here is that I ended up back inside the house, once again floating gently above my sleeping body, fully aware I am still out of body.
This time, however, there was a big difference in feeling, in that I merely had to ‘step out’ to move away. The clarity of this experience was in stark contrast to my first exit! I was fully conscious, with perfect vision, and feeling so much more in control and ‘clear’ in all aspects! This exit felt to be on a much higher level or vibration.
I moved again to the front door and out, clearing seeing my yard and beautiful night sky, and once again started floating up gently and peacefully. I vaguely remember seeing the scenery change into something I know is not here in ‘real life’.
It is at this point I would have to say for the first time ever, I must have ‘clicked out’ in a sense. I have absolutely no memories (not even vague knowings/feelings of activities like I usually have) from the scenery change to the next recall.
The next recall was one of profound peace, joy, and contentedness…drifting gently, listening to the most beautiful music! The music was most interesting in that it wasn’t just ‘musical notes’ I heard, but actual feelings, emotions, and even messages I was receiving while listening to it!
I also knew that I was going back to body, making a peaceful, leisurely return, and then thought I’d like to get in just a few aerial acrobatics before returning!! I remember doing two forward rolls, enjoying the sensations, and noticing that someone is just off to my left as he (male feeling) lightly touched my left hand to tell me he was there.
Thoroughly enjoying myself, I mentally had a conversation with this person, and the only memory of our discussion was just before re-entry when I lightheartedly bargained with him, ‘well, I’ll go back because I have to record this experience, but only on the condition that I will definitely get out again!’ lol
I had the most gentle return to body I have ever had, lightly settling in, becoming slowly aware of loud rushing sounds that usually precedes my OBEs, most prominently heard in the center of my forehead. It was unusual for me to hear this upon return.
There were other dreams I had after this, but I did not record them. I have no excuse for why not, except to say that I felt (at the time) there was nothing that needed to be recorded! That again is most unusual, as I do try to record everything knowing that I may not be of enough ‘conscious’ mind at the time to make that decision to record or not!
I became aware within a dream that I was once again driving, having arrived at a crossroads that had some sort of anomaly in it (unusual road sign?), and had that slight hesitation of doubt as to whether I am really driving, which allowed me to become aware of my dream state.
I did not take the time to look at my hands (my usual way of determining readiness), but just jumped backward quickly without a care as to whether I was really driving or not! I remember even thinking, “Well, I certainly hope I’m not really driving!”, but yet my subconscious knows that if I have to have even a shred of doubt, then it’s my signal to exit!
I then rolled off the couch, feeling the usual pulling and tugging, and used the affirmation ‘to the door!’ with ease. Again I was in total darkness, blind, yet still aware of where I had to go. As I moved through the front door, I remembered I wanted to go to my Higher Self, to seek guidance and support from the one place that I know I will get the best answers from.
I paused on the front porch, briefly thinking I’d like to go see G.S., but more importantly wanted to see where my Higher Self would take me.
I did a small jump, affirmed ‘to my Higher Self” and started floating upward, moving quickly backward through blackness. What is interesting here is that I ended up back inside the house, once again floating gently above my sleeping body, fully aware I am still out of body.
This time, however, there was a big difference in feeling, in that I merely had to ‘step out’ to move away. The clarity of this experience was in stark contrast to my first exit! I was fully conscious, with perfect vision, and feeling so much more in control and ‘clear’ in all aspects! This exit felt to be on a much higher level or vibration.
I moved again to the front door and out, clearing seeing my yard and beautiful night sky, and once again started floating up gently and peacefully. I vaguely remember seeing the scenery change into something I know is not here in ‘real life’.
It is at this point I would have to say for the first time ever, I must have ‘clicked out’ in a sense. I have absolutely no memories (not even vague knowings/feelings of activities like I usually have) from the scenery change to the next recall.
The next recall was one of profound peace, joy, and contentedness…drifting gently, listening to the most beautiful music! The music was most interesting in that it wasn’t just ‘musical notes’ I heard, but actual feelings, emotions, and even messages I was receiving while listening to it!
I also knew that I was going back to body, making a peaceful, leisurely return, and then thought I’d like to get in just a few aerial acrobatics before returning!! I remember doing two forward rolls, enjoying the sensations, and noticing that someone is just off to my left as he (male feeling) lightly touched my left hand to tell me he was there.
Thoroughly enjoying myself, I mentally had a conversation with this person, and the only memory of our discussion was just before re-entry when I lightheartedly bargained with him, ‘well, I’ll go back because I have to record this experience, but only on the condition that I will definitely get out again!’ lol
I had the most gentle return to body I have ever had, lightly settling in, becoming slowly aware of loud rushing sounds that usually precedes my OBEs, most prominently heard in the center of my forehead. It was unusual for me to hear this upon return.
There were other dreams I had after this, but I did not record them. I have no excuse for why not, except to say that I felt (at the time) there was nothing that needed to be recorded! That again is most unusual, as I do try to record everything knowing that I may not be of enough ‘conscious’ mind at the time to make that decision to record or not!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Commentary for # 76 Intense Experience
I'd like to share some insight I have received from others who have traveled this path. My thanks goes to Dallyup52 for his view of the 'powerful experience' I had:
"This melding is way more important and meaningful to me than any physical sexual experience has been in this reality. The merging for me gets me back, at times, to the soul state and I never want to leave that state. The place of the soul is what many refer to as cosmic consciousness or nirvana. I miss this experience terribly when I am not in it. Some people seem to assist the process in obtaining this state of being."
With regard to the loss of memories and recall I have, Dallyup52 shares these thoughts:
"There are many times that I have gone so far out that the memory is in my experience but I can not bring it over into words. I know that it is there but has not migrated over to the place that my brain can word it. That's okay with me ... used to bother me.
Then there are the places that I go that I watch the memory split into pieces and rearrange themselves into a jumble as I slowly come back to this reality. Try putting those into words. Just isn't going to happen. The energies in those places are just not arranged like they are here.
Then there are the experiences of places that are like a million words of thought and I just don't have the time or energy to sort it all out yet I do have it inside of my experience. It isn't lost.
Then there are the times that I am me but I don't have this memory set. I am a different person (so to speak).....These memories are difficult to assimilate into one's brains with this present memory set. I have tried before to see what it was like and it is very confusing, to say the least .....I now do it with much filtering. And it is harder to remember.... like reading a book where all the names are Indian (unfamiliar stuff) and I can't keep track of the characters because their names don't stick....."
I totally agree with his additional comment: "This stuff is just so much fun as well as being meaningful."
Annsie also offered me some additional information that I felt important to share in regards to this experience:
"There is another state of total blissful feeling and utmost harmony that we can experience when we get OOB, without the need of being with your other "soul mates" . Thats when you go really deep into yourself, yet at the same time travel back "home" where the rest of your own soul is residing, merge with this most inner part of yourself can also give you complete bliss and harmony."
This statement rings so true, as it is quite likely the blissful re-union of those portions of our 'selves' that remain behind on the spiritual planes when we incarnate here.
Many thanks to Baphomet as well for his insight into the male/female relationship that I experienced:
"We all contain male and female energies and balancing the two is essential to being whole, IMO. Maybe you have suppressed your male qualities to the point where your subconscious mind felt you needed to experience them? It really has nothing to do with sexual orientation or anything like that.
For me, as a male, it’s been my task to develop my nurturing side, my sense of compassion, my intuition, and all those other ‘female’ qualities that the ‘average male’ lacks. I see your dream as a very positive experience. The opposites uniting into bliss – that’s the soul’s destiny, and it is something that the best sexual union on earth is only a pale imitation of."
"This melding is way more important and meaningful to me than any physical sexual experience has been in this reality. The merging for me gets me back, at times, to the soul state and I never want to leave that state. The place of the soul is what many refer to as cosmic consciousness or nirvana. I miss this experience terribly when I am not in it. Some people seem to assist the process in obtaining this state of being."
With regard to the loss of memories and recall I have, Dallyup52 shares these thoughts:
"There are many times that I have gone so far out that the memory is in my experience but I can not bring it over into words. I know that it is there but has not migrated over to the place that my brain can word it. That's okay with me ... used to bother me.
Then there are the places that I go that I watch the memory split into pieces and rearrange themselves into a jumble as I slowly come back to this reality. Try putting those into words. Just isn't going to happen. The energies in those places are just not arranged like they are here.
Then there are the experiences of places that are like a million words of thought and I just don't have the time or energy to sort it all out yet I do have it inside of my experience. It isn't lost.
Then there are the times that I am me but I don't have this memory set. I am a different person (so to speak).....These memories are difficult to assimilate into one's brains with this present memory set. I have tried before to see what it was like and it is very confusing, to say the least .....I now do it with much filtering. And it is harder to remember.... like reading a book where all the names are Indian (unfamiliar stuff) and I can't keep track of the characters because their names don't stick....."
I totally agree with his additional comment: "This stuff is just so much fun as well as being meaningful."
Annsie also offered me some additional information that I felt important to share in regards to this experience:
"There is another state of total blissful feeling and utmost harmony that we can experience when we get OOB, without the need of being with your other "soul mates" . Thats when you go really deep into yourself, yet at the same time travel back "home" where the rest of your own soul is residing, merge with this most inner part of yourself can also give you complete bliss and harmony."
This statement rings so true, as it is quite likely the blissful re-union of those portions of our 'selves' that remain behind on the spiritual planes when we incarnate here.
Many thanks to Baphomet as well for his insight into the male/female relationship that I experienced:
"We all contain male and female energies and balancing the two is essential to being whole, IMO. Maybe you have suppressed your male qualities to the point where your subconscious mind felt you needed to experience them? It really has nothing to do with sexual orientation or anything like that.
For me, as a male, it’s been my task to develop my nurturing side, my sense of compassion, my intuition, and all those other ‘female’ qualities that the ‘average male’ lacks. I see your dream as a very positive experience. The opposites uniting into bliss – that’s the soul’s destiny, and it is something that the best sexual union on earth is only a pale imitation of."
Sunday, October 5, 2008
76) Intense Meeting; Dual Consciousness
10/5/08
I am going to share with you this experience, but please know that it’s probably the most personal post I’ll ever put up. There was an INTENSE part of this experience, but it was wrapped in such unusual circumstances that I am not sure what to think of it but do feel it may be important to share because of its unusual intensity.
It begins with an awareness of a strong feeling that I am now a MALE energy in this 'therapists' office, and I see a female knocking at the entrance door asking for this therapist by name. I knew this therapist was one who counseled 'stars' so I said to her, "Wow you must be a star!" (She was my age, dark hair, actually very similar in appearance to myself! Me?) I invite her in to wait and we spend a long time talking (but have no specific recall of what!)
At one point we are both sitting on a piano(?) stool, and I say something about anticipating that in 90 minutes before 'kids come home' (?) (and I even remember looking at a clock), I plan on being done with what we planned to do. She said something about "it's been a long while, and you may not perform as well as you feel you should", and I said "I don't intend to disappoint", then began melding or curling up into each other into absolutely exquisite sensations of pure bliss and contentment. I just can't put words to describe the sensation as it was NOT like physical sex, but a more mental/emotional 'melting' into a culmination of pure bliss and joy! (OK, here is where I'm really thankful that I cannot see anyone’s reaction!! lol)
I began to slowly awaken immediately thereafter with such a warm, loving, complete feeling....yet the intensity and depth of these feelings just could not be sustained upon pulling back to full awareness! I can't describe the difference, but there was so much more 'completeness'(?) to my emotions/feelings yet I could not bring that same intensity of feelings back to conscious waking.
I record that experience and then find myself unable to return to sleep for a while trying to figure out why I can’t ‘feel’ those emotions in this waking state.
Eventually, I become aware of being in a barber-type chair, and feeling the spinning sensation as the chair rotated. I was able to take this spinning sensation and consciously push it faster, knowing it would allow me to get OOB, which it does! I am aware once again of 'floating body parts', with my legs moving up, down, all over in the most unusual positions!
I find myself now standing in another hallway, one I have been to before, yet not known where it is. I walk down the hallway to where it opens at the end into rooms on my left and right. I take time to verify I am OOB by looking at my hands and seeing them melt away - a signal that tells me I am definitely OOB. Somehow there is the color blue associated with these rooms, but yet I do not recall why/how.
Remembering I wanted to do 'Inward now!' I attempted to spin and go within but without any success! I tried a second time, and again without any results. Suddenly I'm aware of strong (male energy) arms that are coming from behind me and wrapping around my arms and holding my hands. I am SO enjoying this warm embrace and loving energy, I hold tight to his hands and don't want to let go! I show myself this is all 'real' by taking his hands and clapping them in a rhythm, then squeezing his fingers and then thumbs, just to experience the fact that they really are there!
Again, I know there was more interaction with this 'person', but the memories did not find its way back to full consciousness. This warm, loving embrace remained with me even as I became more aware when my CD player decided it would suddenly turn on by itself (!) and play the meditative music I had listened to prior to sleep! I KNOW I turned off the CD player earlier that night, but somehow it was on once again and now I am able to be nearly awake (out of the OOBE mindstate) and STILL able to feel the warm embrace of those 'otherwordly' arms holding me! I remained quietly enjoying this embrace for as long as I dared before I had to pull myself to full wakefulness to record the events I could still remember!
Once again, it felt as though I was pulled from this OBE mind state of bliss and contentment, but this time WHILE I am consciously was aware of the music playing that should not have been! It felt as if I was in ‘both worlds’ at once…
So, you can see why I hesitate to post this, however, I'm hoping I've written it well enough to have everyone understand the depth and strength of emotions. Could this have been another meeting/melding of my ‘Higher Self’? Was this just their way of letting me know that they are with me and are sending me love and guidance? Am I perhaps connecting on a 'higher level' these days and that is why I can't remember much? Was it a learning process to show me that I am not able to relate ALL my experiences accurately?
Still, they should know that I need to share what I am experiencing, so I hope I will be able to improve my recall of my OOBE experiences just a bit more in the future!
Open to any insight and suggestions….thanks!
I am going to share with you this experience, but please know that it’s probably the most personal post I’ll ever put up. There was an INTENSE part of this experience, but it was wrapped in such unusual circumstances that I am not sure what to think of it but do feel it may be important to share because of its unusual intensity.
It begins with an awareness of a strong feeling that I am now a MALE energy in this 'therapists' office, and I see a female knocking at the entrance door asking for this therapist by name. I knew this therapist was one who counseled 'stars' so I said to her, "Wow you must be a star!" (She was my age, dark hair, actually very similar in appearance to myself! Me?) I invite her in to wait and we spend a long time talking (but have no specific recall of what!)
At one point we are both sitting on a piano(?) stool, and I say something about anticipating that in 90 minutes before 'kids come home' (?) (and I even remember looking at a clock), I plan on being done with what we planned to do. She said something about "it's been a long while, and you may not perform as well as you feel you should", and I said "I don't intend to disappoint", then began melding or curling up into each other into absolutely exquisite sensations of pure bliss and contentment. I just can't put words to describe the sensation as it was NOT like physical sex, but a more mental/emotional 'melting' into a culmination of pure bliss and joy! (OK, here is where I'm really thankful that I cannot see anyone’s reaction!! lol)
I began to slowly awaken immediately thereafter with such a warm, loving, complete feeling....yet the intensity and depth of these feelings just could not be sustained upon pulling back to full awareness! I can't describe the difference, but there was so much more 'completeness'(?) to my emotions/feelings yet I could not bring that same intensity of feelings back to conscious waking.
I record that experience and then find myself unable to return to sleep for a while trying to figure out why I can’t ‘feel’ those emotions in this waking state.
Eventually, I become aware of being in a barber-type chair, and feeling the spinning sensation as the chair rotated. I was able to take this spinning sensation and consciously push it faster, knowing it would allow me to get OOB, which it does! I am aware once again of 'floating body parts', with my legs moving up, down, all over in the most unusual positions!
I find myself now standing in another hallway, one I have been to before, yet not known where it is. I walk down the hallway to where it opens at the end into rooms on my left and right. I take time to verify I am OOB by looking at my hands and seeing them melt away - a signal that tells me I am definitely OOB. Somehow there is the color blue associated with these rooms, but yet I do not recall why/how.
Remembering I wanted to do 'Inward now!' I attempted to spin and go within but without any success! I tried a second time, and again without any results. Suddenly I'm aware of strong (male energy) arms that are coming from behind me and wrapping around my arms and holding my hands. I am SO enjoying this warm embrace and loving energy, I hold tight to his hands and don't want to let go! I show myself this is all 'real' by taking his hands and clapping them in a rhythm, then squeezing his fingers and then thumbs, just to experience the fact that they really are there!
Again, I know there was more interaction with this 'person', but the memories did not find its way back to full consciousness. This warm, loving embrace remained with me even as I became more aware when my CD player decided it would suddenly turn on by itself (!) and play the meditative music I had listened to prior to sleep! I KNOW I turned off the CD player earlier that night, but somehow it was on once again and now I am able to be nearly awake (out of the OOBE mindstate) and STILL able to feel the warm embrace of those 'otherwordly' arms holding me! I remained quietly enjoying this embrace for as long as I dared before I had to pull myself to full wakefulness to record the events I could still remember!
Once again, it felt as though I was pulled from this OBE mind state of bliss and contentment, but this time WHILE I am consciously was aware of the music playing that should not have been! It felt as if I was in ‘both worlds’ at once…
So, you can see why I hesitate to post this, however, I'm hoping I've written it well enough to have everyone understand the depth and strength of emotions. Could this have been another meeting/melding of my ‘Higher Self’? Was this just their way of letting me know that they are with me and are sending me love and guidance? Am I perhaps connecting on a 'higher level' these days and that is why I can't remember much? Was it a learning process to show me that I am not able to relate ALL my experiences accurately?
Still, they should know that I need to share what I am experiencing, so I hope I will be able to improve my recall of my OOBE experiences just a bit more in the future!
Open to any insight and suggestions….thanks!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
75) Short OOBEs within LD; Astral Vision (City/Smoke)
10/02/08
My experiences last night were unusual in many ways, mostly in the sense that I was not as in control as I usually like to be. The sequences I will relate are rather disjointed and may have some personal symbolism hidden within them, but I still feel may be beneficial for posting here as I think everyone should know that all my experiences are not always organized and controlled, and may have hidden lessons within them despite their confusion. By sharing them I am hoping that someone has some insight as to what this mixed up mess means!! lol
I became aware of my usual signal of ‘floating body parts’ and was excited to think I was ready to get OOB. Rolling out, I realized I was not on the couch (as I really was) but getting out of a bed, one that was in an unfamiliar room.
I was amazed at the ease of separation and the clarity of my thinking! It was just as if I decided to get up and go – no obvious difference in sensations or thought processes, yet I knew I was OOB. I recall pausing at the end of the bed, wondering if I should look back to the bed to see my 'self', but thought twice of it since I knew I may return to body if I did!
I moved out the bedroom and into a hallway, again one that was not familiar. As I wondered where I was, I felt a ‘dissolving’ sensation, which is my indication that I was too awake to sustain this OOBE.
My concern was realized when I woke completely, and then had much difficulty in returning to the proper mind-state for the next hour or so. This is the longest attempt I have ever had to try to get back to that focused state. This ‘being awake’ worry may have played a part in the next sequence of events. I found myself very much aware of ‘still’ being awake, yet in hindsight, had actually had moved within a lucid dream and yet was not able to take control as I usually do.
Thinking I am having trouble falling asleep, I decided I would go outdoors to see if some fresh air would help. (Why I didn’t realize I was really asleep and dreaming, I don’t know…there was enough unusual ‘signals’ in the next sequence of events that should have triggered my awareness!)
I moved out of the house, yet it was not my house, it was a ‘grandfather’s’ house, yet I do not know whose grandfather. As I exited, I was next to the garage and remarked to myself that I was going to have to clean up all the clutter piled around and it was going to take some time (it seems the clutter was unused building materials, including a long thin light bulb I moved). I also remembered thinking that the ‘grandfather’ that lived here was not going to be able to keep up with the lawn mowing and upkeep of the house, that maybe I should get someone (my son?) to offer to help.
I knew there was a bench in the yard just outside the house and I headed over to it, hoping I’d be able to rest there and travel OOB from that location. It was a plastic type bench, long enough to rest on, and I also remember being glad I was wearing a winter coat with hood, so that the hood would be able to be used as my pillow.
The bench was covered with fine sand, and I had to brush off the sand to prevent getting the coat dirty, knowing that it was put there by the little girl who played in the nearby sandbox earlier. After lying down, I got comfortable and began to relax, hoping to sleep and travel.
However, I was not alone. My husband showed up and was trying to ‘annoy’ me by piling things on top of me! Trying to distract him, I mentioned that he should look at the unusual cloud formations above us. Something about the clouds gave me the signal that I was indeed able to get OOB at that time! I remember rolling off the bench and then feeling the tugging and pulling of yet another difficult separation.
Knowing I had to move away from the bench, I headed straight for the center of the large yard, not really knowing where to go! Standing in the yard, I decided to fly straight up and zoomed into the now starry night! I remember floating among the stars and enjoying their beauty, then yet again after only a few moments of OOB, found myself (supposedly) wide awake back on the bench!
This is where things get confusing. There are these events that happen, that I can ‘see’, and interactions with many different people who come up to the bench. What I ‘see’ (while I'm on the bench) is black smoke rising from a city, and then am able to make out the Empire State building in the distance! My mom is standing there by me on the bench, and I remember holding a pair of glasses with the right side lens cracked and jagged. She tells me she’ll take care of getting them fixed, but I said “no, I’m due for an eye exam anyway so I will.” She also tells me she called someone about the black smoke and reassured me that it would not be a concern for us, as it had something to do with two female pharmacists in the city who were disgruntled and set off a bomb (blew themselves up??)
Thinking I had to start recording these events I was seeing, I fumbled with my recorder, only to find it once again in pieces! I just couldn’t get it back together quick enough and I remember it humming and buzzing even though it was disconnected! Then a radio came on (built into recorder, I guess) and I hear “WABC” and then a different radio station in another language coming through the recorder! A coworker shows up next to the bench now and she starts singing(?)/talking in this other language along with the radio – and I’m surprised she can understand what is being said!
I do finally wake ‘for real’ and realize there is no recorder in my hand, and I try desperately to remember all these details in some semblance of order! The whole time I’m on this bench worrying that I really wanted to get OOB and travel and yet had to deal with all these distractions/people that wouldn’t allow me to focus properly.
My thought process was that I’m still wide awake (as I was previously) when in actuality I was already within a lucid dream and capable of getting out, but felt much too ‘grounded’ in my thinking to be consciously in control of the dream elements. I do know I was able to twice get OOB, but only briefly, each time unwillingly returning, yet not fully awake.
I am just not sure what happened in this mixed up experience but I thought I still should share it to see what other may have for any insight!
-----------------------
I just thought I'd add a quick addendum here relating to this unusual experience.
It seems after talking with GS (the one I had previously tried connecting with a recent OOBE), it was HIS desire to know if one could actually have an OOBE from WITHIN a LD!!! Additionally, he wanted to know if 'astral vision' was also accessible from within a LD! These were questions he sought more information on...and it seems I helped him find the answer!
I believe that due to his desire and our talks, I was able to experience this to show it IS possible! It's not exactly my usual format for OOBE's, but he feels strongly that this experience DID answer his question!
At least it makes me feel a bit better for having such an unusual inside out experience!
My experiences last night were unusual in many ways, mostly in the sense that I was not as in control as I usually like to be. The sequences I will relate are rather disjointed and may have some personal symbolism hidden within them, but I still feel may be beneficial for posting here as I think everyone should know that all my experiences are not always organized and controlled, and may have hidden lessons within them despite their confusion. By sharing them I am hoping that someone has some insight as to what this mixed up mess means!! lol
I became aware of my usual signal of ‘floating body parts’ and was excited to think I was ready to get OOB. Rolling out, I realized I was not on the couch (as I really was) but getting out of a bed, one that was in an unfamiliar room.
I was amazed at the ease of separation and the clarity of my thinking! It was just as if I decided to get up and go – no obvious difference in sensations or thought processes, yet I knew I was OOB. I recall pausing at the end of the bed, wondering if I should look back to the bed to see my 'self', but thought twice of it since I knew I may return to body if I did!
I moved out the bedroom and into a hallway, again one that was not familiar. As I wondered where I was, I felt a ‘dissolving’ sensation, which is my indication that I was too awake to sustain this OOBE.
My concern was realized when I woke completely, and then had much difficulty in returning to the proper mind-state for the next hour or so. This is the longest attempt I have ever had to try to get back to that focused state. This ‘being awake’ worry may have played a part in the next sequence of events. I found myself very much aware of ‘still’ being awake, yet in hindsight, had actually had moved within a lucid dream and yet was not able to take control as I usually do.
Thinking I am having trouble falling asleep, I decided I would go outdoors to see if some fresh air would help. (Why I didn’t realize I was really asleep and dreaming, I don’t know…there was enough unusual ‘signals’ in the next sequence of events that should have triggered my awareness!)
I moved out of the house, yet it was not my house, it was a ‘grandfather’s’ house, yet I do not know whose grandfather. As I exited, I was next to the garage and remarked to myself that I was going to have to clean up all the clutter piled around and it was going to take some time (it seems the clutter was unused building materials, including a long thin light bulb I moved). I also remembered thinking that the ‘grandfather’ that lived here was not going to be able to keep up with the lawn mowing and upkeep of the house, that maybe I should get someone (my son?) to offer to help.
I knew there was a bench in the yard just outside the house and I headed over to it, hoping I’d be able to rest there and travel OOB from that location. It was a plastic type bench, long enough to rest on, and I also remember being glad I was wearing a winter coat with hood, so that the hood would be able to be used as my pillow.
The bench was covered with fine sand, and I had to brush off the sand to prevent getting the coat dirty, knowing that it was put there by the little girl who played in the nearby sandbox earlier. After lying down, I got comfortable and began to relax, hoping to sleep and travel.
However, I was not alone. My husband showed up and was trying to ‘annoy’ me by piling things on top of me! Trying to distract him, I mentioned that he should look at the unusual cloud formations above us. Something about the clouds gave me the signal that I was indeed able to get OOB at that time! I remember rolling off the bench and then feeling the tugging and pulling of yet another difficult separation.
Knowing I had to move away from the bench, I headed straight for the center of the large yard, not really knowing where to go! Standing in the yard, I decided to fly straight up and zoomed into the now starry night! I remember floating among the stars and enjoying their beauty, then yet again after only a few moments of OOB, found myself (supposedly) wide awake back on the bench!
This is where things get confusing. There are these events that happen, that I can ‘see’, and interactions with many different people who come up to the bench. What I ‘see’ (while I'm on the bench) is black smoke rising from a city, and then am able to make out the Empire State building in the distance! My mom is standing there by me on the bench, and I remember holding a pair of glasses with the right side lens cracked and jagged. She tells me she’ll take care of getting them fixed, but I said “no, I’m due for an eye exam anyway so I will.” She also tells me she called someone about the black smoke and reassured me that it would not be a concern for us, as it had something to do with two female pharmacists in the city who were disgruntled and set off a bomb (blew themselves up??)
Thinking I had to start recording these events I was seeing, I fumbled with my recorder, only to find it once again in pieces! I just couldn’t get it back together quick enough and I remember it humming and buzzing even though it was disconnected! Then a radio came on (built into recorder, I guess) and I hear “WABC” and then a different radio station in another language coming through the recorder! A coworker shows up next to the bench now and she starts singing(?)/talking in this other language along with the radio – and I’m surprised she can understand what is being said!
I do finally wake ‘for real’ and realize there is no recorder in my hand, and I try desperately to remember all these details in some semblance of order! The whole time I’m on this bench worrying that I really wanted to get OOB and travel and yet had to deal with all these distractions/people that wouldn’t allow me to focus properly.
My thought process was that I’m still wide awake (as I was previously) when in actuality I was already within a lucid dream and capable of getting out, but felt much too ‘grounded’ in my thinking to be consciously in control of the dream elements. I do know I was able to twice get OOB, but only briefly, each time unwillingly returning, yet not fully awake.
I am just not sure what happened in this mixed up experience but I thought I still should share it to see what other may have for any insight!
-----------------------
I just thought I'd add a quick addendum here relating to this unusual experience.
It seems after talking with GS (the one I had previously tried connecting with a recent OOBE), it was HIS desire to know if one could actually have an OOBE from WITHIN a LD!!! Additionally, he wanted to know if 'astral vision' was also accessible from within a LD! These were questions he sought more information on...and it seems I helped him find the answer!
I believe that due to his desire and our talks, I was able to experience this to show it IS possible! It's not exactly my usual format for OOBE's, but he feels strongly that this experience DID answer his question!
At least it makes me feel a bit better for having such an unusual inside out experience!
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