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Wednesday, April 1, 2009

101) Gaining Confidence


My first recollection of this experience is the music and loud noise coming from the living room where I was sleeping. I felt I was fully awake and should go investigate where this music was coming from. Realizing that the room appeared just a bit different than it really does, I gives me the ‘awareness’ that I am in another ‘false awakening’ and use this to roll out of body. I affirm, ‘to the door!’ and move slowly, feeling a VERY strong pulling sensation back to body.

Realizing I am not going to make it to the door, I change direction to the hallway near my daughter’s bedroom. Now I hear excited barking! Without hesitating, I call for the dogs to come, and immediately see two smaller dogs appear in the hall. The smaller one is light brown, longer hair, and has a familiar sense that I attributed to my younger childhood days, as he excitedly jumps up on me. The other dog is slightly bigger, black/brown, shorthair and a little more reserve but very friendly. He comes up to me and nuzzles me contentedly, as if to say hello.

Looking up, I see in the doorway a large black/brindle dog that hesitates before entering. I feel a slight apprehension, but then realize it is more of a timid feeling coming from this big dog, and coax him to join the other two at my side.

I hug him and rub his short hair, noticing that his right eye is missing and his coat is matted. Sitting in the hallway playing with these dogs, I sense a presence standing in the doorway to my daughter’s room. It is an older, stocky, tall white male with short grey hair and small ‘blotches’ scattered throughout his face. He is non-threatening, but distant (timid?), and I realize he is there to talk to me.

His question is recorded as, “How’s your ‘sex appeal’ (but the word felt like confidence) for working with us? Can you help us (those of us) in this ‘population’? (Other than the specific words ‘sex appeal’, ‘help’, and ‘population’, the question was more of a feeling than specific words.) I understood what he was saying, and gave my consent to help in any way I could, knowing he meant the ‘population’ was those in spirit, both human and animal.

He and the dogs now fade away, and I try to locate my recorder to record what I can. I find it in pieces, and I’m attempting to put it back together. Realizing this is usually the signal for a ‘false awakening’, and instead of pulling myself more awake, I now use this signal to try to roll out again (even though I know I may not remember many details if I continued to another experience!)

I am successful in finding myself standing back in the living room where I was sleeping, and the room again looked slightly different (which gave me the validation I WAS still OOB). I approached the front door to go outside, and took the time to try to see if my hand could go through as usual. I was astonished to feel that it was solid! I pushed against it two more times, knowing I was out of body, but just amazed that I couldn’t pass through it!

I gave up and just opened the door the regular way, feeling the cool breeze of the morning air as the door opened. I kept saying, “This is not right, I know I’m out!”, so continued on, just ‘going along’ with what was happening.

Once outside, I tried flying a little, floating slightly upwards enjoying the freedom of being out but with a knowing that I was still ‘grounded’ and not able to go far. With that thought, I found myself flat on the ground, seeing and smelling the green grass under a tree in the front yard.

From my spot in the front yard, I could see my father’s truck come into the driveway, pulling a wagon filled with stuff like he’s going to clean up around the yard. My daughter was now there, and she is coming toward me. I somehow ‘know’ I am lying here (in my nightgown!) aware she is coming for the jeans that she left nearby, but unaware of my presence (I get the feeling I am ‘not in this picture’ at this time). This is quite confusing here, but I’m writing what I recorded!! lol

My husband, her stepfather, is also in the front yard now, and they are conversing quite civilly about things she just inherited that would be useful for the new people who are coming. I remember their conversation because it is registered as quite unusual to hear them to talk to each other in such a polite way.

Next I recall, I am now accompanying my daughter up to the house, yet this house (the one I just came out of!) has had the front door boarded up for a long time, and we are going to attempt to get in.

Just as we get inside the house, everything starts to fade and I realize I have to try to recall as much as I can. Again, I find the recorder in pieces; however, this time I pull myself to a more awake state and search for it again. I find it as I feel the heaviness of ‘full return’ and record what I could remember.

For some clarity here, I will say there are MANY changes going on in my life right now with regard to people in my life. I believe much of the ending of this experience probably an indication that this change will be for the better in all avenues of my physical life right now, and I am hoping the agreement to help with those in spirit indicates my increased confidence in moving forward with spiritual growth as well.

I only hope my ‘grounding’ of the experiences ends soon as I long to travel and experience that lightness and joy that usually accompanies those trips to the higher astral levels!

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