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Sunday, October 5, 2008

76) Intense Meeting; Dual Consciousness


I am going to share with you this experience, but please know that it’s probably the most personal post I’ll ever put up. There was an INTENSE part of this experience, but it was wrapped in such unusual circumstances that I am not sure what to think of it but do feel it may be important to share because of its unusual intensity.

It begins with an awareness of a strong feeling that I am now a MALE energy in this 'therapists' office, and I see a female knocking at the entrance door asking for this therapist by name. I knew this therapist was one who counseled 'stars' so I said to her, "Wow you must be a star!" (She was my age, dark hair, actually very similar in appearance to myself! Me?) I invite her in to wait and we spend a long time talking (but have no specific recall of what!)

At one point we are both sitting on a piano(?) stool, and I say something about anticipating that in 90 minutes before 'kids come home' (?) (and I even remember looking at a clock), I plan on being done with what we planned to do. She said something about "it's been a long while, and you may not perform as well as you feel you should", and I said "I don't intend to disappoint", then began melding or curling up into each other into absolutely exquisite sensations of pure bliss and contentment. I just can't put words to describe the sensation as it was NOT like physical sex, but a more mental/emotional 'melting' into a culmination of pure bliss and joy! (OK, here is where I'm really thankful that I cannot see anyone’s reaction!! lol)

I began to slowly awaken immediately thereafter with such a warm, loving, complete feeling....yet the intensity and depth of these feelings just could not be sustained upon pulling back to full awareness! I can't describe the difference, but there was so much more 'completeness'(?) to my emotions/feelings yet I could not bring that same intensity of feelings back to conscious waking.

I record that experience and then find myself unable to return to sleep for a while trying to figure out why I can’t ‘feel’ those emotions in this waking state.

Eventually, I become aware of being in a barber-type chair, and feeling the spinning sensation as the chair rotated. I was able to take this spinning sensation and consciously push it faster, knowing it would allow me to get OOB, which it does! I am aware once again of 'floating body parts', with my legs moving up, down, all over in the most unusual positions!

I find myself now standing in another hallway, one I have been to before, yet not known where it is. I walk down the hallway to where it opens at the end into rooms on my left and right. I take time to verify I am OOB by looking at my hands and seeing them melt away - a signal that tells me I am definitely OOB. Somehow there is the color blue associated with these rooms, but yet I do not recall why/how.

Remembering I wanted to do 'Inward now!' I attempted to spin and go within but without any success! I tried a second time, and again without any results. Suddenly I'm aware of strong (male energy) arms that are coming from behind me and wrapping around my arms and holding my hands. I am SO enjoying this warm embrace and loving energy, I hold tight to his hands and don't want to let go! I show myself this is all 'real' by taking his hands and clapping them in a rhythm, then squeezing his fingers and then thumbs, just to experience the fact that they really are there!

Again, I know there was more interaction with this 'person', but the memories did not find its way back to full consciousness. This warm, loving embrace remained with me even as I became more aware when my CD player decided it would suddenly turn on by itself (!) and play the meditative music I had listened to prior to sleep! I KNOW I turned off the CD player earlier that night, but somehow it was on once again and now I am able to be nearly awake (out of the OOBE mindstate) and STILL able to feel the warm embrace of those 'otherwordly' arms holding me! I remained quietly enjoying this embrace for as long as I dared before I had to pull myself to full wakefulness to record the events I could still remember!

Once again, it felt as though I was pulled from this OBE mind state of bliss and contentment, but this time WHILE I am consciously was aware of the music playing that should not have been! It felt as if I was in ‘both worlds’ at once…

So, you can see why I hesitate to post this, however, I'm hoping I've written it well enough to have everyone understand the depth and strength of emotions. Could this have been another meeting/melding of my ‘Higher Self’? Was this just their way of letting me know that they are with me and are sending me love and guidance? Am I perhaps connecting on a 'higher level' these days and that is why I can't remember much? Was it a learning process to show me that I am not able to relate ALL my experiences accurately?

Still, they should know that I need to share what I am experiencing, so I hope I will be able to improve my recall of my OOBE experiences just a bit more in the future!

Open to any insight and suggestions….thanks!

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