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Sunday, November 23, 2008

85) Using Intention for Tactile Awareness; Recording Issues


With the advice that I may be hindering my own experiences by believing I was ‘too stressed’ to do them (thanks, Robot_Butler!), I made a specific attempt to get OOB last night with positive affirmations and beliefs that I could do so! As you will read, it did work (!) although it was only for short excursions, but at least I also had some new learning.

I am on my couch and after my usual induction, realize I am staring at an object in the room yet knew that my eyes were closed. I thought then I must be able to get out, so I just attempted to climb off the couch as if awake, not waiting for any usual signal.

Now I know I am OOB as I felt the very heavy and very strong tugging once again. I fall to the floor, trying to pull away, looking at front door and affirming, “to the door!” I find I am not moving easily, so I turned over to look back at couch and can see the ‘lumps’ of me under the blankets. At that point I was able to move easier to the front door and out to the front step. (Did my ‘mind’ have to see this to believe I was out?)

Outside, I’m thinking of what I wanted to do, thought about visiting JP, but then just started floating up and enjoying the freedom of spirit. I also remember that, despite my strong desire to “flip, fly, and zoom” (lol) once again, I had wanted to do something ‘constructive’ if I got out.

As I’m floating up, I was surprised to hear what sounded like a radio announcer voice (male) coming from behind me. I turned back, saw no one, so I asked “who’s there?” and “does anyone want to talk to me?”

I hear the static-type words in response to my questions, although I could not make out any specific words. I say, “I’m sorry but I can’t understand” and then heard it again, but now in a different position, as if moving away. I decided to follow where the voice was going, even though I had no idea what it was saying. I did ask, “Is it ok if I follow you?” as we moved up higher into the starry sky. Hearing the same static voice response and not knowing if it was ok, I said, “Well, if it’s not ok then just let me go to where it is best for me right now.”

Immediately I felt the usual backward bumpy ride through a long black tunnel and when the moving sensation stopped, I found myself pulled up into this station platform of sorts.

I find myself very much aware of standing on this platform, with a very sharp transition of consciousness. It was very unusual transition, and it felt like I had been there already and just became awake and functional in a new ‘form’.

People were walking back and forth, and I could see the exit beyond. I felt I was supposed to meet someone, so I was hoping they would recognize me and make an attempt to communicate. I made eye contact with a young blond female who smiled, and yet she continued to walk past me.

There was an entirely different ‘feel’ to this area, a very ‘real’ concrete appearance and sensations. My ‘body’ no longer felt the lightness as it did prior to getting here.

With all the new sensations, as well as my concern that no one in particular was going to meet me here, I think I had my ‘real life’ fears of being in a strange place, unassisted and without a means of communication settle in. It was due to these new feelings and subsequent fears that I immediately found myself back in body on the couch, not able to investigate this ‘station’ further.

After recording the last experience, I settled back in for another attempt, thinking I might want to stay in the near physical and visit my mother’s house down the road. The second exit was much easier, again with no clear signal, I just knew when it was time to climb out. This time I felt that strong tugging, but pulling me toward the bedroom hallway, similar to a previous experience. I felt unsteady and was trying to regain control, as I remembered that the last time I went down that hallway my experience ended quickly.

I regained my control and headed out the front window. I aim for my mother’s house, and recall seeing the same trees along the path that are there in real life. I put my arms out to feel the hanging branches, enjoying the texture changes as I passed through them. I stopped, thought that it might be interested to see if I could ‘physically’ touch them, and then made the attempt to shake the limbs.

Looking back toward my house I was amazed that I had the ability to make these branches ‘physically’ move, seeing their response to my intention to move them, despite the fact I was just able to pass through them a moment ago. I realized it was my intention to now move them that gave me the ability to do so.

I continued on to the house but realized it was very early morning (I recall even checking a clock to see what time it was!) Realizing no one will be awake even though I saw a light on, I faded back to full awareness on the couch. In hindsight, I’m sure it was my expectation that no one would be around that stopped this experience.

The third exit this night was different in that I became aware I was recording a previous OBE while riding in a car! I recognized this as ‘not right’ so I started a “running commentary” in my recording as to what I am doing because I knew I was aware that I am ‘dreaming’.

The car moved up a steep hill I recall being near my home, and then as it started rolling down the hill, I knew it was going to roll over and so I took that as a signal for exit to become OOB. I am flying high, heading back toward my mother’s house and can now look down to see my dog Buddy running under me and barking. I holler to him, ‘come on, Buddy!’ hoping to have him join me, but for some reason this time he didn’t.

Once again I can feel the textures as I go through things, and it was very hard to try to remember just what it was that I wanted to do. I then remembered, “oh yeah, go inward now!” as I started to spin to induce it.

I could feel the physical ‘touch’ of things all around me as I spun which was not usual and caught me off guard. I wondered why I could feel these physical sensations and stopped the spinning. Immediately, the experience ended and I felt it may have been due to my concern that I was able to tangibly feel objects around me.

This exit was different in that I found myself using my tape recorder recalling a previous OBE, then realizing it isn’t right so continued taping as I took control.

This led to my last experience where I find I am once again recording another OBE experience I just had, talking through each and every step, only to become fully awake shortly thereafter and realizing nothing has been recorded! All I have for recall of my last exit this night is the fact that I was walking along a fence while recording.

Somehow while recording, I let go of hanging onto what I just did because I ‘knew’ it was being taped, so when I fully awaken, there is no memory. Now I am wondering if the act of recording my experiences is possibly hindering my ability to recall, as it seems to now be incorporated into a ‘false awakening’ of sorts.

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